Hey Riddle Riddle - #91: Gotcha From The Magic Castle

Episode Date: April 15, 2020

This episode was recorded on March 1st fresh after our NYC shows and before the lockdown and our riddles are courtesy of Evan who submitted a book of Medieval Riddles! Can Adal, Erin and JPC handle being whipped back in time to an era when riddles were considered entertainment? Plus the crew explores the mechanics of making love, the ties that keep families together, a battle of wits, a battle of ships, and a battle over the worst accents! It's like we always say, it's Riddle O'Clock somewhere, so enjoy this #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. You're on the jury has reached a verdict. Okay. We find the podcast not funny. This is a, well, this is a thank you so much, Mr. Foreman, you are dismissed. Can I interest you in a grill? You don't think the bling in my mouth already be bawling? I don't understand what you mean.

You said a grill. Robert jurors'estore told me, make me a grill, Nelly. Okay. Sorry. Fuck off, man. Get out of the court. All right.

That was awesome. Also, spot cast not supposed to be funny, it's a hobby in games podcast. Be really just a real... You're really protected by that, aren't you? Yeah, it's actually not supposed to be funny. It's actually supposed to be about riddles. It's formed, but...

You're supposed to be annoying. Then why do the riddles suck? Because it's supposed to be funny. It's actually supposed to be about riddles. It's formed, but... There's supposed to be annoying. Then why do the riddles suck? Because it's supposed to be funny. It's a catch-22, we get in both ways. Catchin' and goin'. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast where we take riddles. And then we try to solve them. And then we spice them up with some improvised scenes, songs, games, and jokes.

Mm-hmm. I'm Adoreify. Nah, I'm JPZ. And I'm Erin Keith. Uh, what's been going on in your lives? Well, real quick, and jokes. I'm Adore Fie. I'm JPZ. And I'm Erin Keith. What's been going on in your life? Real quick, real quick. You're gonna meet someone. You're meeting someone on the street, or someone in the noob. Okay.

And they say, you say, I do a podcast. And they say, what's your podcast about? What do you say? I don't say that. I do a podcast. That Aaron, I really wish you would. It would be great to tell more people about the show. So, let's say that someone says,

I heard that you do a podcast. Okay. That you have to say, say you're wrong. I'm a doctor of linguistics. Sorry, a doctor of linguine. I'm a spaghetti chef. So someone comes to you and they say, I heard you do a podcast. What's it about?

What do you say? I say it's me and two other comedians. And we talk about reddolds and we do improv. Talk about reddolds and we do improv. Talk about Reddles and we do improv. Okay. Edel, if I say, hey, I heard you do a podcast. Yep. Not magic to have, I don't care about that one.

Okay. Or it looks pecular or any of the other shit. What's the podcast you do again? I care. Say there's a guy fell into a portal behind a Burger King. No, no, no, no. And he has to solve Reddles. That would be a better

podcast. And they never talk about falling into the portal. I'm talking about the Burger King thing. Yeah, we're also behind the Burger King, but you don't see us bragging about it. Yeah, my favorite thing is anytime I someone like just wants to talk to me and they're like, what do you do? And it eventually comes to podcasts. I start to talk about either of my podcasts or both in their eyes glaze over and it's just like, oh, this is a treat. So I guess that's something that we never really have brought up on the show, is that Adel, Aaron, and I are all in...

We're recording this podcast from the magical land of food. We stepped into it. Flume, flume. Well, that'll food. Did they? Did they know that you're a wizard? That what you talked about you being a wizard? How have I talked about that I'm a wizard

from the first? A wizard in the sack. Yeah, from the fourth realm of Ephesius, the Philly, Gellix, Columbia, Snowman. And I'm a shape shifter, and I'm a newbie-ing-er shape. Have we like, have that come up, then I'm like? And that, because it's an audio medium, you don't know the add-als wearing the filthiest pink polo

that I've ever seen in my entire life. And it's a bit of a long con. We really slope play the fact that we're playing different creatures and characters, but it's, I'm having fun. Now, I'm having a great time. I just don't think we ever let the fans kind of know that critical part of the show. Yeah.

I'm glad they know now. I'm glad they know now. And now they can draw us in a more accurate way. JAPES, I want to purchase you and says, you've been served PS. I hear you have a podcast. What do you say? I have a podcast where we do riddles and then we do improv scenes based on those riddles.

Two succinct. I guess I don't know. I'm trying to think of what a better, I need a better one, I need a better log line. I need something that makes me proud to say it. How do I be proud about this show? Is that possible? That's why I always say I just die audition

for TV shows and commercials and rarely get something. That's when people ask what I do for my own job. Would you say, you think it's better to say, I audition for things that I rarely get that I have a successful thing? Yeah. People don't like when women are successful. Mm-hmm.

When I'm in, I'm like, I'm world do you think I live in? I always tell people I thine and want to riddle hell. Oh, that's a good way. I like that. Can I use that too? Yeah, there are people I died and went to Rital Hell. Oh, that's a good way. I like that. Can I use that too? Yeah, there are people I know who like, I feel like, I mean, we're full-time podcasters

that were successful, but I feel like there are people who are always like, are you still doing your little podcasts? I'm like, yeah, it's part of my, huge part of my life. Or they'll be like, what's that like, what's that like, gotcha from the magic castle? And I'm like, gotcha from the magic castle. I gotcha from the magic castle? And I'm like gotcha from the magic castle. I either gotcha from the magic. Either ask the name or don't pretend you don't know. I hope when I was leaving my job and people like,

oh, what's next for you? I was like, well, I'm going to go spend more time doing my podcast. And they're like, oh, wow, I hope that works out. And I was like, no, no, it already did. It already did work out. That's why I believe in this job. That's why I'm leaving for it. It already worked out. It worked out fine present present tense by man I'm gonna keep drowning in auditions I don't get anything and I'm only talking about that We we went to New York. Did you guys have fun in New York? We haven't talked about that. How to great time in New York Oh, yeah, I don't

Like it there. New York, we went for like a few days, but the Saturday, right, it was a Saturday that we were there. The weather was gorgeous. Like beautiful. Unseasonably warm. And I walked around, we walked into a park. It was great, we got to be outside.

Fought some pigeons. We got to be in that park. No one. We stood in the middle of the park and we said, any of you push us out of this park, whoever does gets $1,000. And somebody came over and said, this is a cemetery. We said, without it was a stony park. Yeah.

We went to stony park. And you said, so my memorials here, Aaron, you and I went and saw Hades town. We did. I'm not. How'd you like it? Oh man, it was so good. I tried to not know much going in, and I had only listened to the soundtrack once going into it, and it was so beautiful and so good.

I would say especially the end of each act, really blew me out of the water. Well, and you watched it while in a pool. Yeah, and I was like, wow, I'm being blown out of the water. In a sensory deprivation tank, right? Yeah. But I've been listening to it a lot since,

if you have the opportunity to see it, it is so good. So thank you, Adel, for the birthday gift of taking me. I hadn't seen a Broadway musical in a long time, and it made me really, really happy. And I got a bagel on Saturday, and I sat in Washington Square Park. Did you meet a bogeycat?

Yeah. It was really nice. Should we beat a pizza rep? I would say I used to be obsessed with the idea of moving to New York my entire life. And then the last 10 times I've been, it's completely eaten me alive. Crazy shit happens to me when I go there.

Like, my hotel charged me three times to stay there this past time, but that Saturday I was like, oh yeah, this is why I love New York so much. Every other time I was like, why is this happening? Why am I in line so long at a whole, that it's...

When I got to my hotel, I got the elevator to go up into my hotel with two other women that were waiting for the elevator, and there was a man who worked for the hotel and the elevator, and we got in the elevator. You said two other women. I'm sorry, so there were two women waiting for the elevator and there was a man who worked for the hotel and the elevator. And we got in the elevator. You said two other women. I'm sorry.

So there were two women waiting for the elevator. Great. A man who worked for the hotel. And then I. Yeah. Anyway, we got into the elevator and we, something smelled weird. We were all like making a face

and he was like, you had fish. And we were like, what? And he's like, where this hotel's above a fish market? We're like, what? And he's like, it only stinks in the elevator. He's like, once you get to your room, it's fine. It's something about the ventilation shaft here. He's like, this is, it smells like fish in this elevator.

And it did. He was right. And he seemed to know immediately what we were like. So. And you stayed at the anchovy rarimata? I didn't. No, I stayed at the anchovy rarimata. Here you go.

Let's see. I just love the way you phrase that where you're. You can do it. You can do it. I just love the way you phrase that where you're like, like if I was like, I was in this park and there was two other dogs there. Double day. Double day. Okay. One else.

I stayed at the okay, but with another name. Who's Old Man Puzzle? I need to tell you a quick story. Yeah, please. I'll tell you guys in the podcast. It's kind of gross and inappropriate, so skip ahead two minutes. You have kids in your car. So Sean and I stay. Wait, wait quick story. Yeah, please. I'll tell you guys in the podcast. It's kind of gross and inappropriate. So skip ahead two minutes. You have kids in your car. So Sean and I stay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If you've got kids in your car, do not listen to the show with those kids. You know this, it's episode 91. There's no way that they should listen to this. We have a kid friendly. Yeah, go pop on the kid friendly episode. You're fucking dumb, fucking idiot.

Why would you listen to this with kids? Sean and I stayed here. Kids, get your parents' phones, call DSS. Casey, that's what they're gonna say. Get help. Um, I, we stayed an extra day. And so on that Sunday night, we tried to go to sleep. Our flight was, we had to be the airport like six in the morning.

So we were like, we gotta get some sleep. Love and early for it. This is not an exaggeration. This is not hyperbole for four hours. From I would say one to five a.m. The couple in the room next to us in the Venice Walls in the World was having sex for four hours.

And you stayed at Sting's house? Yes, was your hotel? Well, we think they were on cocaine, but it was also the craziest, loudest thing I have ever heard in my life and it did not stop. Can you give us some snippets? Walk me through the journey. I thought that Sean and I were gonna go and say.

Well, Sean humiliated. So, because you can't provide that for you. No, we were both like, that sounds fucking terrible. You're in a hotel, right? Yeah. So, at some point I had that problem on Friday night. The chasing alone. On Friday night, there was people like partying all night

and then once they went to bed at like four, a baby woke up in the room next to us and from four to eight in the morning, the baby was crying. It was more like a toddler and I called down to the front desk because for a couple of those hours, I was pretty sure that someone left a toddler alone.

I was like, there has to be no one else in that room with a toddler. So I was having some hotel problems. And then Sean got there. Saturday night wasn't too bad. We weren't kept up by anything. And then Sunday night, I've never heard anything like it you guys. Can you walk?

Yeah, can it was their ebbs and flows? No, no, no, no ebbs and flows. It was straight up four hours. No, like, like, no like 10 minute break. Aaron, what? Did someone leave a porno on? No, no. It was different enough.

And they had machines involved and there was stuff involved. Was there any word said? What machines? Wait, wait, wait, why are you gonna let that slide? What machines were involved? I gotta see a scene. I gotta see a scene. Like a facts machine.

Was there like a dialogue internet? I gotta see a formative. I gotta see a machine. I was, I was very, very performative. That's the end of the story. It was very performative. Yeah, they weren't, they were making so many noises. For an audience of two. Yeah, but they were making so many noises.

Oh, my clitoris. Yeah, and not of it sounded genuine to me. Oh, my penis feels so great. Do you think that they could have been shooting a porn? No, I don't know. Like in the hotel? No, because there would still be breaks. If not if it's a union show.

But Sean's next. A four hour porn. I want to get to your scene, but Sean is morning in the airport. We were in his flight accident, like his ticket accident, they got canceled. So we were in a bad spot. And then Sean looked over at me and his eyes were buffy.

And he was just like, the moment came, 47. That's my mental. His eyes were buffy. He's sobered out of context, so I'd be like, whoa, they're going through a hard time. Can I? Can I?

I don't want to see a scene. Do you actually have a scene to see? I thought you were saying, I thought you were saying I want to see a machine. I did eventually. Oh, okay. Let's do it. Okay, so, James and I are a see a machine. I did eventually. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, so James and I are a couple having sex and we're about two and a half hours in and

One of his introduces a machine into the equation. Okay, one of us does. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh Yeah, don't you guess don't you guess? Yes. Oh, oh Oh, slap it. Have it. Have it Yeah, you're just you know I'm a Kanye West just so you know, I'm a Kanye Westu. I'm sorry? I'm an Kanye Westu. You're gonna let me finish? Yeah.

Okay. That's what I was gonna say. You stole my joke. Why, why, why, Westby. I'm gonna drop out of your college. Yeah, you're gonna, Kim Microdashian. I guess you see your hands at the concert. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Sorry, I should introduce this. Who is this?

This is an Android. Oh. My name's Jenna Machine. And I'm here to help with the sex. Talk about a beautiful, dark twisted fantasy. Mm-hmm. So as we're continuing to find out. Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, Oh gosh, you two are vertical stripes. That's not really, uh, it makes a lot look fat. Yeah. See.

That's funny. Did I tell you guys, do I tell you guys about my experience in the airport in Kingcune? No, I can't wait. So, this was when I was coming there for my trip to Mexico. You know, I like that you stop in Kingcune to get to Mexico. Yes. You know, in the office place, in Mexico. In airports, there's a lot of...

Airports that I'm familiar with, especially I guess in the US. There's a lot of security, like especially every time I go to a hair, there's like cops everywhere. Well, we're in the airport in Cancun. It's the line is humongous. We're running late for our flight.

I'm at the little kiosk trying to print off our boarding passes because for some reason, my name is John Patrick. And some reason that never lets me check in for flights because it's like, oh, your name is different from what's on your passport because of the fucking middle name. It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, so we're trying to check in at the kiosk

to get our boarding passes. And there are two airport employees. I think they must work at a Rinnacar company who are like, their friends are holding them back or their other employees are holding them back because these guys are going to come to blows. And then one of them sucker punches the other one in the face. And his face starts bleeding. And then everyone lets them go. And then they are just two grown men having a not just like a, you know what, when you see like grown men fight, I'm not sure if you've seen the grown men fight. Not really.

They like grapple, there's lots of grappling. This isn't that. This is two men like amateur boxers trying to punch each other in the head. And they're like four feet from us, like making a wide arc because they're punching each other. And I'm like, Mariah is trying to watch my back while I'm like, type it into the key, because I don't want to get like hit,

but you know, by a stray punch in this fight. And no one is stopping them. No security in the airport, there's no security. There's people that work for the airlines that are just watching, no one's making a move to stop this in any way. And then finally tourists come and pull these guys off of each other,

and both of them are bleeding from their faces. This is the rentic heart people. These are, I think that I don't know how it's hurt spelled. Because they could be in the right. Yes. You will hurt. It was, it was wild. It's no one, no one was coming to got it.

Like everyone was just like, yeah, that's good. Every time I've seen like a Dulls fight, where it's like sad, it's like, they always, there's a lot of like open arms, like, what's up, like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? And in their heads, you can tell they're both like, this is gonna be so cool. And then they go to punch and they like miss

and they fall down and then it is just like all grappling. Where it's all like four minutes of just like, this is the saddest fucking thing. And then that's where you somebody breaks it up. If no one, if you don't know, if you don't fight, you don't know how to fight. Everybody watches movies and they're like, I don't want to fight. This is gonna saddest fucking thing. And then eventually somebody breaks it up. If no one, if you don't know, if you don't fight, you don't know how to fight. Everybody watches movies and they're like, I don't want to fight.

This is gonna be amazing. And then they just get embarrassed. You know, you can tell in someone's voice that they're about to cry. I feel like that all real fights, when people are doing that, they're like, what? What?

What are you getting? Oh yeah, you fucking top guy. And you're like, you need a hug from your mom yesterday. There's nothing more embarrassing than being like a grown man fighting another, like two men fighting in public. It's like, it's like guys. Like what, you are setting, everyone has this expectation for you, and you are reinforcing that expectation. Like two men just punching each other in the head.

It's like, fuck, man, grow up. Speaking of growing up, let, man, grow up. So you're gonna grow up. Let's do some riddles. Fun. Yeah, that's what I would call growing up. So what used to be young man riddles is now old man puzzles. And that's James today.

And what do we have in store? So this is very cool. So a student of mine at I.O. at the end of our session of level three. So it's like eight weeks of class. They said that they love the podcast, and then they gave me this riddle book. And it's,

what did they, did they want their first name to be said? Their name is Evan, so I don't know if they, if they want their lesson to be said, but how they doing class? Well, they had me as a teacher, so they were fighting an uphill battle. Is Evan familiar with any of my imprev teams or like,

daily? Like my Harold team. I asked Evan if he knew Aaron, fighting an uphill battle. Is Evan familiar with any of my imprev teams or like, do you like my hair? I asked Evan if he knew Aaron Keith and he said, I maybe would know her if she ever got cast in something. Those were his words. Root, I'm gonna vote along you guys. Root, and then I was like, are you maybe familiar with Abel Rafay

and he said, oh yeah, come to Badger Big Fits. No, but Evan gave me this riddle book. And so the theme of this riddle book is Medieval Puzzles. Ooh, some of the... You know that piano sound? Or just medieval sounds here. The Medieval Piano sound? You know, like the...

Sir, I'm going to play the Medieval Piano forte. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D math riddles that I was like, oh, no thanks. We're not gonna do this. Your favorite thing though. Maybe one of these days I'll like photo copy some of them and then make you guys do the visual math riddles. Oh, you want when you want Adel to quit? Yeah, I think it would be funny because the answer's like, the answer's for every math riddle, the answer's so unsatisfying because you have a bunch of numbers and it's like, the answer is 17

and you're like, what the fuck, it cares. That's where I started another podcast called, Hey, Hill, More, Come Work. Yeah, Hey're like, what the fuck, it cares. That's where I started another podcast called, hey, homework homework. Yeah, hey, it was just fucking stress dreams. What if we did start a podcast that was just us doing kids homework for them? That should be a Patreon tier. We'll just do your homework.

Yeah, so when we yell, Who else would use your teachers? What I yelled at you for having your kids listen earlier, bring them back, tell them we're gonna do their homework. In all sincerity, email us your homework. HRRpodcast.gima.com, we will do it on air. I'll do someone's homework. I'll do someone's homework.

I'll seduce your teacher. And I'll eat your fucking lunch. Your teachers will not listen to this, and I will say this right now, if you're in high school or college, and you have to write an essay, I will write it for you for $100. I'll do it for 99.

I'll do it for 99. I'll do it for 99. Oh, that it for 99. I'll do it for 99. That's a good deal. I can't go to your teacher to give you a name. I can't stress this enough. I will seduce your teachers. So. I don't care, age.

I don't care gender. I'll seduce your mother for teachers. Aaron will seduce your teachers for what you get to put a price on. For free. I'll confront your bullies. And that, Adelaide, I will haggle over writing paper for you. I would, I would love for that to be my job. James and I will write your papers, uh,

one set instead of time, oscillating who writes the sentence. Instead, did you guys ever have turnitin.com? Yeah. Going up. Uh, so Aaron and I, uh, many of a certain age had it. It was basically a website where you would submit

any paper that you wrote, and then anyone else in the country or whatever read submitted a paper, it would see if it was plagiarized against something else that had been, uh, thing. So I had a cousin who went to a small school in the country and they definitely never had anything on turnin'in.com. So I just plagiarized a whole paper from them

and put it in like, went on turn to the top and passed. And I was like, I cheated all the time in high school. But it was very funny because, it's very funny because I'm like, yeah, you built a fucking fool proof this up. It was so easy, so easy for me to cheat your system. Your cousin went to farm you? Farm you.

I also, but it was, there was a kid, one of the funniest experiences from my high school was in theater class. It was theater class. This is. One of the funniest experiences from my high school was in theater class. It was theater class. This is not a hard class to pass. We had a assignment to write a six page something,

like an essay, and it was, I think it was like a very open and you can do anything. Anyway, he chose to write his paper on Blade Runner for some reason, but he just plagued his essay on Blade Runner directly from the internet, but the essay wasn't long enough, so he just copied it, pasted it again. So it was like four pages, and he copied it, pasted it again, and our teacher read it, and then brought it, because no one expected it to teach it to read these,

and then he brought it into our class that we all had together, and it had a big red F on it, and it just said, Blancher is something. And then he slapped it down to the table. It was like, you're a plagiarist. I'm not gonna turn you in, but you should be ashamed of yourself. You get an F on this paper. And then the rest of us instant scoured through this paper.

We were like, man, what were you thinking? It wasn't even space-dried. It was like a three big spaces, and then the copy and paste red. And we were like, dude, you fucked up so bad. He's like, yeah, I know. Bladgerism. I'm bladger is, I definitely,

I definitely had to type up like a four-page report and it was three pages and then just like highlight and change the font size. Yeah, font, one bigger, margins a little smaller. Okay, so this is your riddle. The title of this riddle is Bartholona. Mm. And there's some quotes in this,

so I'm gonna read this in character. Oh, this won't do, This won't do it all! The Sinistial to the Count of Barcelona was a small, nervous man, and he was clearly flustered. What does the matter? The Sinistial's assistant, well used to his master's moods, managed to keep his voice patient, but he could not inject any concern. The Count is having a small personal dinner engagement night. Everything must be perfect, and protocol is so verifiable. Well, who is

attending us the assistant? It cannot be that troublesome. Oh, my! The count is expecting his father's brother-in-law, his father's father-in-law, his father-in-law's brother, and his brother-in-law's father. So there will be five, said the assistant, even allowing for a niceties of status that doesn't seem so stern. Oh no, that is not at all correct, said the sinisterly fanning himself. That would be fine, but that is the very most people that it could be. The count is expecting the very least. the very most people that it could be, the count is expecting the very least.

Question. The assistant appeared at him suspiciously. How many is that? One, two. The least would be nobody. No, it's- What's this supposed to- Wait, can you read the father-in-law that shit?

We need a paper. Okay. Do we need to write this down? Does anyone listening have a piece of paper? Well, we all know that. If you have a piece of paper that Aaron Cambara email as an HR podcast, you can see about that.

There's notepads over in the corner over there. So we all know that royal families often have deep, deep insides. Pockets. All those robes. So, okay, the count is expecting his father's brother-in-law. Okay, hold on. His father's brother-in-law.

His brother's father-in-law. His brother's father-in-law. His father-in-law's brother. Wait, brothers. His father-in-law's brother. And his brother-in-law's father. What's the third one? Okay.

Father's brother-in-law. Brother's father-in-law. Father-in-law's father. What's the third one? Uh, okay. Father's brother-in-law. Brother's father-in-law. Father-in-law's brother. And brother-in-law's father. Are they expecting Pauli Shor's hit son-in-law? Brother-in-law's father. No, they're expecting the chairman of the board. Is that Pauli Shor?

Oh, damn it. They're expecting, and this is all taking place in the bio-dom. The bio-dom in New Orleans? Fabibou Shrein, the bio-dom. Welcome to the bio-dom. The mud dogs want a bio-dom. It's awful. Father, I mean, so some of these could be the same people, right?

Well, yes. So he said, who is attending? And he said, five, and he said, five would be the most it could be, but he's expecting the very least. Brothers, father and law. So are they all the same people? It'd be two. Be the countess and or the count in just one person who fulfills all those roles. Just one person who fulfills all those roles. So I think the count is there. And then... What's the count's party, right?

Yeah, this is the party. Yes. It's a small personal dinner engagement tonight. Everything must be perfect and protocol is so variable. And then it's the father's brother-in-law, the brother's father-in-law, his father-in-law's brother, and his brother-in-law's father. Three. Two. One. No, it's his brother-in-law's father. Three, two.

One? No, it's three. Last off. It's three. It's three. Aaron, finally, it's okay. So since I'm not going to let you guys keep guessing numbers, so I'm going to have to get final answers on this one. And then I'll tell you if you're right. Two, two.

Your final answer is two. Yeah. Why is it two? Show your work. I'm sure. Aaron, show me a no card. It's this little chart, and I know this won't make sense to anyone but me.

Okay, that does not make sense. Well, Erin is showing me an L and five dots. It looks like hydroclinistics. That doesn't make sense. What's your reason? Explain to yourself. Because they can be, they can be the same person.

Yes, they can be the same person. So your father, my father's brother-in-law, can be my brother-in-law's father. Yes. And my father-in-law's brother. Uh-huh. So do you want to revise your answer? It's not one.

Maybe it's one, Maybe it's one. Because I guess he could be the brother's father-in-law. So it's one meaning the... Was it a count? It's just the count. The count is all those things to himself. Just one man. The family tree is naughty and assumes marriage between cousins is not forbidden. That's what I said.

Yeah. So when you...oh man. So when you make your cousin, you really win twice because you get to be all your own father's brother-in-law, you get to be your brother's brother's friend. You get to keep your last name. You get to keep your last name. You can get to fuck your cousin. You fun. Can I see a scene?

That's the number one search and porn hub. You. Uh, Adel and D.C. Wait, don't say U AaronAaron because not an hour ago, you said that you would want to fuck everyone of your cousins. Well, that was, I was, that was when I, I've messed up from hearing those people have sex.

Can I see a scene? Yes, yeah. You two are cousins. And you're at the family reunion, and you're about to just like, you're doing your speech announcing that you two are in love and you're gonna get married, and you're just trying to like let everyone down easy.

Okay. We're doing our speech. Okay, got it. Mm. Sorry, can we have everyone's attention? Got it, got it. Grandma, can you drop your watermelon? I need watermelon on my way.

For the bigger, for the bigger. Everybody. Grandma, drop your watermelon? I'm gonna put your watermelon on the bigger. Everybody, grandma, drop your watermelon. I'm eating my watermelon in the bigger. Put your root of bacon stand. We have an announcement to make. We have a big announcement to mention. John, sorry, we have an announcement to mention. John, why are you doing this?

Why are you doing this? Are you two fighting? Please don't fight it. Well, it's an effort. We're family. We're family, and we're also one other it. Well, it's an F word. We're family. We're family. And we're also one other F word. Grandma, do you want to guess?

Are you about to sing Happy Birthday to me? Is it your birthday? It is. Today? OK. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

What's my name? What's my name? Your name? It rhymes with Christmas, but I've never quite heard what it is. Yeah. I know it rhymes with Christmas. Grandma Blisspiss. Blisspiss.

Grandma Blisspiss? Grandma Swissmas. Grandma Swissmas, hot chocolate. Yes. That's why we call it a chocolate. That's where the family fortune comes from. We have an announcement to make. We have a hot chocolate family, and don't forget it.

If I see any of you drinking cold chocolate, I'll hit you over the head. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make.

We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make.

We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We have an announcement to make. We're not satisfied with being merely cousins. Business partners. But in a sense, yes, in the business is sex. The sex.

I don't want you to be a individual bit. We're not going to get to the sex business, but business is booming. Ah! J- Jeff and I are sexually together. We're not selling it. We're not selling it. We're flaunting it.

Pontegan. You're not gonna ruin the Swiss Miss name. We only marry siblings in this family. We love our sisters and we'll continue to fuck them. No, sibling will always sibling. Fun. You don't wanna keep doing that, huh? No.

Got it through real, huh? Okay, this one's called A Wise Man's Bluff. Oh! By the way, I love riddles with titles. It's one of my favorite things. A Wise Man's Bluff. How do you like? Yeah, you never tell us what you like. I like the sound of rain.

Whisper's on kittens. Great cop, forget him. What are you doing? Cough dropped, flavored donuts. What else? Cough dropped, what else? Donut flavored cough drops. The entire Honda sedan line.

That's a chord, yeah. Yeah. I like telling people I watch bloodlines, the entire Honda sedan line. That's a cord and debris. Yeah. I like telling people I watch bloodlines, but I never did. And what else? Like Dean Coons. Okay.

I like gluten free pistachio doughnuts from stands and living in my head, but no one asked me. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. You know what? I got to take some time to recover from that. We're gonna hear all about a wise man's bluff. Right after we hear a word from some of our sport co-ops. And James, that's the new Rathus book. Wise man's bluff.

The new Patrick Rathus book is actually called the Wise man's Buff. So it's all about a naked man, I'm running through wizard school. We'll be right back out of the messages. Hey, GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help.. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um,

Prinking at all, and I'm setting up a website to print them. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all.

I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all.

I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all.

I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. I'm working at all. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace? You can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website, not a prank thing, new, and he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales

are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for. Prank. for. Frank. With Squarespace. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com

for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path.

There never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems.

He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You've seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods,

therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods Hmm and better help is entirely online so it's designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did and When Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods Even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license Therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron a GPC's putting down bread crumbs

And then immediately picking them up and eating them Dirty bread crumbs crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle r i d d l e r i d d l e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.a.d.d. Hope you get home. Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this?

I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh, um, rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give it toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint.

Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used Rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets. Stop, stop, stop, no, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the

easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. I'm going to go to the bank. Hey, Rick, a brick dog.

Oh, my God. Lords and ladies, please, please, your attention, please. The year is 1213, and I will now play the piano. Of course, we have a Steinway here, which is not ideal, but we'll make it work. And how much does a Steinway? About 90 stone. That's a big glass of beer. So, Emily, I was walking over bodies in the street.

Did I miss any puns? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We'll do another riddle for the, what are the standing out of what are those called? Pezins? Yes, Pezins. She experienced times, what's the, who? Oh, come on, man. Fucking me to the halfway, but what are they? What are they called the people who stood? Groundlings. The groundlings, yes.

Oh, you're talking about the LA comedy club? No, no. Will Ferro? No, that's Sunday's Christian week. What does it say? The Sunday company is. All right, anyway. A wise man's bluff.

Ancient legend dictated that unless the Lord retained a certain number of as advisors, the town would suffer disaster. Unfortunately, that number was clouded in vague language, and the wise men invariably disagreed with one another on every single topic under the sun. Simply greeting them with good morning would lead to hours of impassioned argument, asking them to agree on how many of their own number could safely retired was utterly absurd. The legend insisted that the wise men, I'm sorry, the legend insisted that the wise you must keep around you at all times, without them famine and pestilence will descend.

They shall guard you by seeing all eventualities. In awe? Wait, what's up now? Are the wise? The wise you must keep around you at all times. Without them, famine and pestilence will descend. They shall guard you by singing all eventualities in all manners of observation. Thus, let there always be seven blind of both eyes to see where sight cannot. Two blind of one eye to see in light and shadow.

Four with sight. Three to blind of one. Yes, two blind of one eye to see in light and shadow. Four with sight in both eyes to clearly perceive danger. And nine that see with one eye for the sake of clarity. What is the smallest number of wise men? Another one of these fucking things, two, one, one, required one and he has 50 fucking eyes. Can you read the numbers again?

Yes, so it's a wise 50 eyes. All right. Thus, let there be always, I'm sorry, let there always be seven blind of both eyes to see where sight cannot, two blind of one eye to see in light and shadow, four with sight in both eyes to clearly perceive danger, in nine that see with one eye, but the sake of clarity. I mean, anyone who sees with two eyes to also see with one eye. 16. Oh, 16.

The eyes have it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Aaron, you were absolutely right and so adult by the same token, you were absolutely right. Because you're both on the right track. Being blind of one eye does not preclude the other. You just need to totally blind people

and the people that see 16 wise men in total. According to the prophecy, you need seven who are blind and nine that see with one eye, but there's no requirement that one eye preclude the other. So the two who are blind in one eye and the four that see with both eyes can both be included among that initial. So are we bumping?

Who are the people who are bumping? The wise men were getting out of it. So you got to get 16 out of there. So you're basically, I mean, I really hope that we have good social programs in place because you are, I think, kicking someone I'd people out of a job. And speaking of one eye people, I want to see a scene. Oh. The two of you are two wise people in an ancient kingdom, and you're trying to

vie for the top spot. The king can only keep one of you, and you're trying to show your pros. It eats says what? It eats says what? And you said it again. I came. She said it's twice.

She said it twice. Well, let's not be so hasty. Continue your battle of wits. Okay. So... Wait, I have a knock-knock took for you. You start. Knock-knock.

Who's there? took for you. Uh, you start. Knock-knock. Who's there? Uh, go for it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. Okay, so let me take my abacus here and did it do it? Okay, you know that was you did get one over on me you got one over on me and I I feel like a little bit of a fool I would like to um oh I would like to offer you and as as a a gift to ease the tension some up dog. as a gift to ease the tension, some up dog. See it? Would you say it? Would you like some up dog? See it.

I don't care for up dog. Ooh! But what's up? With you? Ah, man. One of us is the Joker at the end of this, and one of us is the Wise Men. Oh, okay. No, Joker won an Oscar.

So... The Wise Men won. I had something fun to say. Oh, okay. Oh, Chokka won an Oscar. The wise men won. I had something fun to say. Oh yes, maybe? Mama Mia, fuck you. That's an abacus. And here's an abacus. Do me.

See that girl? You, what's your name? Mark. What's up Mark? You shall be my new What's up Doc? You shall be my new representation Not much about the fucko Huh?

See I won! This one is called Alquin. Alquin the abit of Marenmouth Abbey was great Hold on. What's that phrase? Alquin. Alquin, the abit of Mount Mouth Abbey, was greatly- Hold on. What's that phrase? Alquin, the abit of Mount Morthier. Baltic say Baltimore. Baltimore.

Alquin, the abit of Baltimore Abbey, was greatly fond of intellectual challenges. And it'd become known far and wide as a fierce scholar and teacher. One afternoon he called his students into his office and indicated to them five numbered sacks, which he informed them, held grain, five sacks. I'm going to beat your student, the sack of rice, the first one. Baltimore, you're as done with the rice. Pay attention, he said, each of these sacks contains a different amount of grain. Taken together, one in two, weigh 12 pounds. Is this going to be how many limit, like,

what's the fewest amount of fucking sacks? Similarly, two and three together, weigh 13.5 pounds. Number 3 and 4 weigh 11.5 pounds, and the last 2 sacs 4 and 5 collectively weigh just 8 pounds. Finally, it will be useful to know that sacs 1, 3 and 5 altogether weigh 16 pounds. What is the weight of each sack? Wow, that sucks. Adults have not read anything down. I'll do it. I'm just gonna have to be quiet. I can't make jokes or talk while I figure this out.

Okay, so, Adal once again, Aaron is doing all of the work. And you are here to make jokes. It's almost something something Goldman Sachs. Okay, let's, interesting. What else do you have on that? How many Sachs? Well, Lawrence Taylor will probably wait like 235, a sack king of the NFL. Ayes, that king of the NFL. Famously in any given Sunday. Uh-huh. What else?

Sach Jack, Sachs be nimble, Sachs be quick. What about wait, wait, wait, wait, what is the wait of each sack? Wait, wait, don't sack me. Uh, what else? Do wait, wait, don't sack me, it would be great. Okay, add that. Okay, add that. Wait, wait, wait, don't sack me. We're gonna see you see this as NPR's, wait, wait, don't sack me.

Welcome to another episode of Weight, Weight, don't sack me. The show where I vibe for my job. Hey, 42. Please, don't do this, they're gonna sack me. 42. Please. I have to generate good content. Please. Please, Jake Utler. So, four has to be less than seven. A three is something point five. Four is always less than seven. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't sack me. The exact, exact number four has to weigh less than seven pounds. Yes.

You said three is three point five. No, three is something point five. Yes. No. Three is not. Three is the only one that's not point five. Oh, the rest have point five in it, even one in five. Even one in five.

Even one, even one. Mm-hmm, even one in five. Okay, well five. Even one, even one. Even one in five. Okay, well then. What are in these sax? Then four has to be six points. Right. Four has to be six point five. Three is the only whole number.

Three is the only whole number. Yes. Uh. So I'll go over this one more time just for everyone at home to fucking blow their minds. Out. Each of these sax contains a different amount of grain, taken together one and two,

weight 12 pounds. So there is a .5 in each one of those. Two and three, weight 13.5 pounds, three and four, weight 11.5 pounds, and four and five, weight just eight pounds. And if you do one, three and five together,

that's 16 pounds, baby. So medieval riddles are just fucking math equations? Yeah, I mean, I think that we, the medieval aspect of this was some stuff that you made me change to Baltimore. So this is just a Baltimore. I stand by that. It's a Baltimore Orioles sacriental.

So yeah, actually this is just a Baltimore or stand by that. It's the Baltimore Orioles sacriental. So yeah, actually this is just a riddle of sacs weighing different things. That's all this is. Aaron's beautiful mining it over here. Aaron is beautiful mining it. I know I'm being so done right now and not doing an easy way of going about this. I'm just using my...

I speak right into that, Mike. I'm using my scattered part of my brain to figure this out. I just need a few more minutes. I really want to get this though. So continue to make content and I'll be over here. All right. Do you want me to give you this? Wait, I think I, I'm thinking I'm close to something. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Well, we'll, we'll air it.

Stop talking to Aaron. I'm not talking to Aaron. She can only do one thing at a time. She's close to something. And so we're gonna just let her pass. And while Aaron is doing that, I'm gonna give you interview. No, I'm gonna give you you are so fond of changing these riddles. So it's Alquin, the abbot of Marenmtheir Abbey. So now I want you to modernize that. So Abbey, that's kind of an old-timey thing. Maran Matier Abbey is kind of an old-timey thing. So what does this person's name can't be Alquin anymore?

Okay, it's not Alquin, it's Al Bundy. It's not an Abbey, it's a Castello. Oh no. Oh. So Maran Matier Abbey? Maran Matier, how's it spelled? N-A-R, in the O- Abby. Mayor Mathieu? How's it spelled? Uh, in A, R, in the OU. I don't fucking, I, Metroid gotcha.

Al Bundy, Metroid of Castello. Well, of, but it's, Mayor Mathieu, Abby. Okay. But so the, what is Abby replaced with? Abby, um, who's the other one in Broad City? There's Ilana. Ilana? So this would be,bundi, the...

Metroid? No, no, the Abbott. What's Abbott? Castello. Oh, Albundi, the Castello of Metroid Ilana. Very nice. That's pretty good. That's way more modern.

And that's something that the kids can understand. Aaron. I have a question. Oh, no. Are any of them the same way the same amount? No, they do. They do not weigh the same amount. None of them do.

No. Is 3 9 pound? Okay. All right. Back in your work. Back in your work. I have another one. Here we go.

Okay. You want to give me another hand. No, no, please. No, I don't want to give you another hand. Yeah, give me one more. I don't know how to give a hint here. I can just, well. No, I don't want to give you another hint. Yeah, give me one more. I don't know how to give a hint here. I can just, well. No, I, uh.

Here, you won't, I would like to tell you how to answer this question. Okay, yeah. So here's how to answer. Considered together, each of the sacks is weighed twice, except number three, which is weighed three times. All, add all the totals together and subtract twice the weight of one and two combined and also twice the weight of four and five combined and you'll get 21, which is three times the weight of three.

And it's also blackjack. Seven. Okay, all right, then wait, can then give me a second. I'm going to figure out the rest. From there, you can easily substitute to find the values. So yes, the weight of... I'd run out of paper. The weight of three is seven and now Aaron is going to run back and get more paper. Let's see. At all. I'll go in the abit of Marimathea to Abby was greatly fond of intellectual challenges and it been known far and wide as a fierce scholar and teacher.

When you are known far and wide, what do you think that people will know you as? A fierce let's see. A fierce scholar and teacher. I'm gonna be a fierce shitter. Buddy, we gotta talk about that. Baby shitter. We gotta talk about how you're a fierce shitter. That's not a compliment.

Doctors say you got maybe three shits left. You gotta call that, you gotta call that. You have three shits left. You got to call me the concept. You have three shits to live with. What? You're like Eddie Murphy with the leaves falling from the tree. I only have so many words. Then I have to die. And then you have to shit.

James, you consider yourself now that you quit your job. Do you consider yourself a content creator? Oh boy, that's got, yeah. We got to start using that. We got to start tossing that label around. I don't think I can be, I don't think I can consider myself a content creator until I'm a contestant on a 90 day fiance.

What's that show that you love us blind? Well, yeah. Every time that there's any love island, love is blind, any reality show. It's people who want more followers. But it's also like influencer. Yeah, their job is influencer, content creator, marketing manager, sales manager.

Can I start calling you a content creator? Yeah, I'd say that is true. I'm very content with the creations that I make. But instead of saying it, I'll write it down to late one, all right? I was working in my tent. Wait, maybe this is right. What do you call yourself? Declarice of the podcaster?

Mm-hmm. Okay. I'll start one. One is one. Sorry. One equals 5.5, two equals 6.5, three equals 7, four equals 4.5, five equals 3.5. All wrong. Is what I would say if it was opposite day,

Aaron, you got them all exactly correct. Can you go over how to do that again? I'm so sorry that I didn't know how to do that. So consider it, okay, so consider it together. Each of the sacks is weight twice, except three, which is weight three times. Yeah. So add all the totals together

and subtract twice the weight of one and two, combined, and twice the weight of four and five combined, and you'll get 21, which is three times the weight of three. I can't express enough. I had the thought to add, I did add them all together and then I, then I unwrapped. I would never have thought of how to do that, but hearing the explanation of it makes me think,

yes, that is how you would do that. And Adel, what do you have to say for yourself? Oh, moments ago I was saying, I can't express enough, how stressful these are ittles are. No, I actually, I really might, truly anytime you're reading and you start tossing out like, you know, box number one, had 42 centimeters is just like my brain glosses over and I, my eyes roll back in my head. The last riddle, that last riddle that I read, we were still in the preamble. We hadn't even gotten

to the riddle part and that'll go, you were like, like Algonquin de Bombom of Merckermorne, Binkibop. What is this, the Swedish chef? I'm from Ferner, Florida. Big, angry, gay, bear, shabur, David. I promise you, Adel, I promise you this one different. I promise you you'll like this one a little bit better. I also promise you right now, and I will promise this. I didn't read this ahead of time.

I'm ready. I'm ready. This one's called Three Boatman. The master of a small marina on Saint Mark's basin in Venice found himself faced with particularly trying problem. Some equipment had been stolen, and the witnesses all disagreed vehemently with each other.

One of the men was telling the truth, but the boatmaster could not tell which one it was. Stripped of all the hand waving. You go, go take the boat and you say we're going to tear this boat in half and each person gets a half of the boat and whoever goes, no. Take my hat. Take my baby. Stripped of all the hand waving and flowering insults.

Let's hear some flowering insults. Ooh, that tulip is fucking ugly. A rose by any other name is fuck you. Damn. And he's more like I'm gonna pee on you because you're a boring. Look at the stems on this one. Sunflower, it looks like you haven't seen this sun so long.

You pale. Fanna more like yana. Tulips more like fat lips. Ka-boi-im. Ka-boi-im. Stripped of all the hand waving and flowering insults, the three boatmans claims could be summarized as follows. Artisio. That's his name.

Biddy-tsy is lying. When I hear medieval, I have to say, I think of England. Every riddle you said has been French, Italian, or Spanish-span. They had the Renaissance too, my guy. I know, but many people- Open your fucking mind, not me. No. They had horses and all the France.

Okay, do you? Arigio. Minicius lying. Okay, I gotta hear it. Are you doing it? How far up the egg do the France go? I need you. Arigio.

Arigio. Arigio. Minicius lying. Minicius. Cipola is lying. Benizzi. Cipola is lying. I hate the Cipola. The other two men are both lying. His name is Cipolas.

His name is Cipolas. Singular. Question. Which one should the boatmaster trust? The boatmaster, the boatmaster that call him the boatmaster. He should, or two of them he can't trust. Two of them are bad and one is good. So, uh, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t lying. Can you read what they said again? Sons accent. So man number one says man number two is lying.

Great. Man number two says man number three is lying. Great. Man number three says one and two are both lying and one's telling the truth. Is this like the let's me get deal with it all? It kind of is like that but but there are three people. He says they're both not telling the truth. He says the other two men are both lying. Okay. Yes. Number three. Cipola.

B. Benizzi? Oh, all their names are Regio Benizzi Cipola, ABC. Look at that. What do you think B? Give me a second. Okay. Always.

B is saying that Cipala is lying and Cipala is the one who's saying the other two minutes both lying. I want to see a scene. Oh, because then he would say that's not possible. Can anybody hear me? Yeah, B. B is my answer. Aaron's answer is B, and Adel, when you know C is seen. I just realized I'm locked in a coffin.

I died, and this is my hell. Participate! Locked in a coffin. Be like me and go into this horrible place unless you've ever read. If you were dead in a coffin, you'd be like, Oh man, is this thing locked? Somebody locked this coffin. Why?

Weird. Why would we be able to lock a coffin? Just in case. I mean, the only reason to lock a coffin is if you think I might not be dead. Exactly. No, hey. Someone thought he might be dead, not be dead.

Lock the coffin. No, we thought you might be giants. Well, I have a question about the coffins Are they locked from the inside or the outside because locked from the inside Your loved ones don't want someone robbing your grave You have to give them permission to get in lock from the outside. What the fuck are we doing? Hey, you know, why do you lock the coffin for the inside though? Hey, Anthony's an asshole, right? I think I'm done with him.

You put a key. You put a key. Okay. Right? I think so. I wanna see a scene. Okay. Well, boy, now I wanna see several scenes.

Let's see a scene to go off the riddle. I wanna see a scene, Aaron and I are on a cruise. Love it. Japs you're this sort of boat master. Is it where a cruise master? Love it. And we find out that you've been lying to us this whole time. Excuse me, Captain? Oh, those are nice pitchforks.

Excuse me, Captain Fun. We're saying that in quotation marks. Captain Party Fun? Please. That's your name? Call me Party. If you're the Captain, why are you mopping the floors? Well, you know, a good general has to be intimately involved in all operations of his gender

quit. My wife and I, we- I'm his wife. Thank you. That's my husband. Okay. My wife and I took pictures of the cruise boat. We've sent it to some friends and they have gotten back to us letting us know that this

is a garage. They told us that this is a garage. No. Pasadena. This is a garage band. Cruzeadena. This is a garage band. Cruze. A garage band themed. Crucia.

If we are in a garage, then how do I still have sea-signet? Well, you've been taking your drama mean, correct? Drama mean. You've been listening to modest mouse. My drama mean. Drama mean. I never take my drama mean,

because I like to keep the drama. Well, if you don't like your drama mean I did I never take my drama mean because I like to keep the drama Well, if you don't like your drama mean then maybe you'd like your drama suite Yeah, let him honey, huh? Yeah, let him um fuck you man. What okay? Hold on now hold on No, no, no, no fighting about the show. Do the thing that guys do when they fight start to cry and You fight you want to cry and go back to the show. I'll get you, man. You fight me, man. Earlier, when I said I want to know where the shuffleboard is, you took a deck of cards and said, Bord, yeah? Okay, yes, that's true.

That was very funny. That was, I could be quite wise, but back of the day, if I did something like that, look, I assure you, I assure you you are on a cruise ship. And this couple fed up with this mansion and against, have put him in a casket, buried him six feet on the ground, and locked the casket. We cut to this man waking up inside the casket. Oh, this again.

Oh, okay, okay. How did you get out of this last time? Passy, truly the funniest thing possible Oh, okay, okay. How did you get out of this last time? That's it. That's it. Truly the funniest thing possible is to wake up in a coffin that's locked and go this a good. I would like to see a scene. It's that guy.

He's in a coffin. It's the time right before this time that he's waking up in a coffin. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. You're in a coffin.

At least you didn't shit yourself this day. See? Glad I asked. All right, so Aaron, you think that Binnitzi is the one who's telling the truth? Yeah, I don't know. Saying that Cipala is lying. So... Wait, wait, wait, no.

Wait. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So only one man can be telling the truth and the other two must be lying. That means. So, give me one more second. One says it two is lying, two says it three is lying, three says one and two are lying. Yes.

So how, let's see, boom, boom. So, no, because if C is definitely lying because if both of those guys were lying that that would mean B is telling the truth Which means C is lying So C is it's not C. Well, let me not see where it's me. I need a Jones Nazi, where? It's me, Indiana Jones. Oh, I'll do you, I'll do you in Hitler. You'll not see. Yeah, it's B, B, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B's, B, Swarley looking, very Mediterranean thick curly black hair, big mustache.

Great. Bitsy, he's kind of Swarley looking, he's got thick curly black hair, big mustache. Two marios. It's simple. He's a little bit different. I would say he's got more of a Swarley look, very Mediterranean, big, black, curly hair, and a big mustache. All through telling the truth. Yes. All through telling the truth.

Yes. All through telling the truth, there's some of the greatest guys I ever known. There's some of my boys, my best guys. These are... I would die for these shubi! Shubi, I die for you, Shubi! Fuck you, you watched it.

You love the circle. I only know what that means. Shubi. I only know what that means, do means. Memes through me. So, the answer. No, beams. Memes through me. So the answer, no. The answer is Cipola. No.

Yes. So it has to be Cipola because if only one person is telling the truth and the first two statements are the same, that means it can't be either one of them it has to be Cipola who has the only statement that is unique. the first two statements Are the same well. Yeah, so they're both saying that one other person is lying. I'm saying one other person is lying I see one person saying one other person is lying and the other one saying both people

That was way more simple than we originally thought Francis you about me simple minds Okay, I want to see you one final scene. We've done a lot of scenes on this one But I want to see another scene on this one Who would like to play Erreigio? Erreigio? Erreigio, do that. Okay, Adel, Adel, who? Adel, you'll be Erreigio. Aaron, do you want to be Benitzi or Cipola? Benitzi. Okay, so Erreigio, Benitzi, and I'm going to be Cipola.

And we are all three boatmen who are trying to convince our boss who will it's a sensibly casey for these purposes that we are all telling the truth. We're honest to boatmen. No, no. Erdenteel, Erdenteel, he ruined the Parmesan. No. Yeah. Nitsu, you did. You say I'm running the Parmesan.

No. He put in the furious cheese in the parmesan I cut it I cut to the parmesan with the cheese Oh, I got the cheese well yes, at least I didn't do shit my pants this time. Okay, I cut to the parmesan Called the manchego manchego and Brinzie Brinzie helped. Brincy took a big bite of them and sheggle and said, so Parmesan. It's a Parmesan. That's what you said, a Brincy. C.P.O. C.P.O.

You're the one with your cousin. You're the one fucking your cousin. Hold on. You're the one trying to marry and fight your cousin, C.P.O. First of all, it's not... It's not... It's not C.P.O. It's three C.P.O.

Yes. Three C.P.O. Three C.P.O. Three CPO. It's three CPO. Three CPO. Three CPO. Three CPO. You're the one I tried to cut your cousin and kill your cousin. Or two to CPO. Two.

Because you wanted to be with your cousin. Hey wait a minute. Oh boy. When we're here, we are family. So he's going to try to focus. Because he thinks we're the cousin. Wait, wait, wait. No, no. No focus. Do you think we're the cause? Wait, wait, wait. No, no.

No, I think you as a brothers, I would never want to marry you. I would fuck you, but I would never want to marry. You never want to. He's a lion. We're not the marry of brothers. You're not the marry of brothers.

This is a bad scene. Sorry. I think that was authentic. I think that was authentic. I think that we did that with a lot of authenticity. Okay, so Adolf, you're experienced with this medieval book of riddles. I want to get just a quick gauge because this is a huge book. There's lots of riddles in it. What a quick gauge. Skill of one to ten. How much you enjoy these? Zero. Great. So, you you know this is going to only want to make me break this book back more, right? Yeah, okay. It helps, it helps, it hurts, but I like it 9 out of 10.

9 out of 10? Aaron's actually really good at these riddles. No, I'm just passionate about that. Just like I'm really good at sex in terms of like compassion. That's how I'm going to describe this podcast now. Like, oh, it's a riddle spot cast. We're very passionate about it. We're passionate about it. We're That's how I'm gonna describe this podcast now. Like, oh, it's a riddle of spot cast. We're very passionate about it. We're passionate about it.

We're very good. I'm passionate. Well, we're very passionate. Yeah. And do you think the plug JPC? Well, I'm trying to think, do you know some things that are, that you have seen people do with passion

that are not good? I've never seen my little kids' eyescape. Yeah, terrible. Have you ever seen any kind of little kids' porn? I was, I was gonna go more in Aaron's, Aaron's camp, which is like an eighth grade play. Did you see I've ever seen a junior production, Danny? Yeah. Yeah.

You're going to have fashion with no talent. Sharp Lily. Yes. What would I like to plug? So you can follow me on Twitter at JP So Fly. You can follow me on Instagram at SharkBarkman. I would also like to plug our Patreon. It's a lot of fun over there.

We got a Discord. People at ChatIn, people are meeting. People having some drinks. They're mingling. They're making romantic connections. Most people in there are married. It's like Ashley Madison. It's not treaters.

Everybody's fucking in the Discord. And if you want to know that action, just give us five dollars a month, go to patreon.com slash Hey, Riddle Riddle and sign up for our bonus episodes. I want to plug English medieval times. It was the best of all medieval times was in England. It was the best of times. It was the best times.

So I think check that out. Also known as the Dark Ages, I believe. I'm going to get a lot of tweets about that one. Fuck you all. So check that out. Maybe watch Kevin Costner's Robinhood or, you know, something that just gets you in the middle of the day. Jamie Lee Foxes or Martin Lawrence and Black Knight.

All great representations of seed black dates. So many British medieval times. Follow me, Erin Keefe 10 on Instagram. I'm also on the Harold team comment at the IOT in Chicago. So if you ever wanna see me on that show, you can message me on Instagram and I can give you free tickets.

I'm also on a show called Wet Bus on Thursdays at 10 PM at the IOT every single week. And if you want free tickets to that, just message me on Instagram as well. Pardon me, I hate to interrupt you, sir Galileo. I see you observing the night sky in this Italian medieval times. What do you see through your telescope? Well, a moment ago, I was looking through a window at a family eating dinner feeling jealous of how close and Warm the house seem but also I saw a plane at the other day and I named it Jupiter. Why Galileo?

Why what why droop it? I have a knock knock. He's aware witch! The Blaze! Bye forever! KC Tony to the editing! Now are the parents of the music! The music! The vocal created by M.O.B. Cartamus and M.O.B. Nemoris! The music! The music! The music!

The music! The music! That was a hit-gun podcast. That was a HitGum podcast.