Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #230: Public Access TV 8! w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

Listen to the rest with a 7 day free trial at our Patreon!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everyone, I'm Councillor Addle. This is Camp Councillor Varney and Camp Councillor Keefe. And we're here three summer camp counselors. It looks like we just have one lucky lucky guy this year. Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself. What's your name? My name's Lepede and I love camp and I can't wait to spend my whole summer here with you guys.

Oh, welcome. Did you say Lapiti, like L-E, and then separately, Piti, like Lapiti? Or you say Bella. I love that. I can spell it if it's easier. That'd be great. Okay. And of course here at Camp Crazy, we like to sing when we spell.

So whenever you're ready. Yeah. Do you have an alphabet of preference gorilla Sorry, don't don't know Greek and like I'm like 50% on sorellic Hey, did he give us the good stuff? Really just need to just need to know what alphabet to sing in And You want to do the English, just for to be different.

I hate to be that guy, but I don't know that one at all. Why don't you tell us what alphabet you know? Oh, sure. I mean, what alphabet is it? Don't I know? Well, sir, I like Greek. English. Sir, I like Greek.

I quit. I can do a full summer with this kid. I got Aaron. Aaron, please. I need you. Please. We know the policy is three camp counselors per child. Yes. Otherwise, we're Aaron. Please. What can we do? I lie to my resume. I don't know anything. You're better off without me. Then you're then you're going to be doing great here. This is where you come when you don't know anything. Oh, it's Camp Crazy. I'm back in crazy. Little Pee-Dee any for the box on? Did he hear? Oh,

we're YouTube busy talking to your cells. Oh, Pee-Dee. JPC. Hey, guys, thanks for coming to my office. You just got to report from camp. It seems like nobody listened to little Pee-Dee's song. Well, he sang it in American Sign Language. Wow, that seems like an excuse.

And you know, we don't make it this camp bracelets. Friends. Friends and bracelets. Well, speaking of friends, we're joined by friend and fourth co-host, Janet Varnie. Jennifer, I thank you so much for coming on today. Oh my gosh, you guys. Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited, but very nervous, because I feel like there's a high standard for this particular type of Patreon episode.

They've been very, very funny in the past. Well, yes. Janet, of course, is referring to Penguin Access. This is going to be our second Penguin Access. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, was one of our funniest episodes that we've ever recorded. And that has been an informal poll that I took between no people. I just made that poll myself. I could do that. No, I listened to it in 15 minutes in.

I texted Adelaide and said, I'm 15 minutes in and I don't understand how this can sustain itself for a full episode. And then towards the end, I texted him and said, I owe you an apology. This has been great. I owe you an apology. You put I owe you an apology in quotation marks has been great. I know you put I know you're an apology. You put I owe you an apology in quotation marks and you said,

and then you said what you should say to me. Yes, she did. Don't read the fine print, you know what I mean? Take it away. What's funny is Janet was like, because I think on that episode we said Janet should come up with a team and needs to be like horror based, because we don't have enough horror based sports teams.

And she was like, I don't know why I got cornered into that. That doesn't seem whatever. And then immediately after she sent me the best mascot out of all of us, and that's horror theme. We'll discuss it on a later episode, but I'm very excited to get to that. But today it's not that it's this. It is a public access.

I'm so sorry for all of you. I'm just asking PBL sense. Is it wild style, the horror, the... Not wild style. it's not wild style But it's a lot of question. What do you have against wild style? I love it you say I have I'm not saying I have anything against them sound like a horse brain Horses to Aaron. She'll probably try to exclude them from Penguin baseball.

Actually, I think it's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one.

It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one.

It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one his hat is a cowboy hat. We'll see Well, let's get to public access as we all know We've run through a lot of public access we get three options We choose one of those the other two are discarded and lost to history except for today We're very lucky to have an email from friend of the show Eric silver Eric silver has gone back in time, listened to all the public access and sort of accumulated the two that we throw away each time

so that we can revisit those. Smart. And use those. So why don't we do this? I also would like to say, yes, there's a couple other people who have done that same thing. They've also emailed us and I will say to them,

you should know us personally because then we would have picked you but I thank you for your work and please know what else do that. So this is just a typical announcement. Eric got there first. Thank you everyone else who did that. Know what else do it please. Someone who some might argue since Adel seemed to be the keeper of all of the lists, why couldn't he have just kept track of it? Adel has these kind of questions. The whole show will unravel, Taylor. If you want to get into the Penguin baseball episode of Big Fights, then please continue asking questions like that and we will have a podcast for you.

Which brings me to, I am lazy enough to not do that. Which brings me to another Penguin baseball player that a lot of, get a lot of heat in the rankings. Lazy bones, which is a penguin skeleton who only plays during the night. Animated while someone plays the flute. Yes. Uses one of his bones as a bat. I'm just asking questions because there's no bad ideas in brainstorming.

Should it be heat that these penguins are getting because that seems like the opposite of what they want, right? I think people will literally kill us if we talk about penguins this episode. If we do this twice in a row, I'm actually scared we're going to get burned. I think I feel like I hear pitchforks. Can I hear pitchforks? Guys, I got to tell you. I got my finger on the pulse.

People, people, someone would have bought pegwoodepall.com, which good on you. We're very lazy. We weren't gonna do that. So people are into this thing. But Aaron, Aaron, to not upset you. Thank you. Because your steam is coming out of your ears. Yes.

Oh, no, sorry. You have two pots of tea on in there. For you. I get an opposite. They're back to back pots of tea. Right behind you. You own two pots of fatigue. What's the amount of tea do you make?

Almost always, all the time. Double-camel meal. How much tea do you make almost always? As a drinking, it's for staining paper to write old-timey letters, idiot. Oh, that's a small... I guess. Old-timey pie or mass?

All right, Aaron. With the pulse. Just to the court. Yes, it's your vehemently against Penguin Baseball League as an entity. Would you mind going first for this public act? I would love to. Aaron, your options are raw raw with Laura. Shut up.

Wait a minute. Raw raw with Laura. That's Aaron's. That's the one that Aaron watched as a kid. I'm lucky. You're the only person who's ever listened to me when I that Aaron watched as a kid. I love you. You're the only person who's ever listened to me when I talk. You're saying.

Here's a thing. It says maybe Eric listen to you as well. Here's what I'll say in parentheses. It says from Aaron's memory, but I didn't know what that meant. So I didn't read it. So Rara. Okay. I'm not touching that.

She's the queen. Rara. Laura. Rara. Rara Laura I'll show you a picture keep going show us a picture of the bubble back You played a clip of it really I did yeah, so you don't want to do that one Yeah, I can't feel shoes that big okay alternative views and the average guys TV show Aaron from those two which would you like to do? Alternative views and the average guys TV show

Aaron from those two which would you like to do? Alternative views from Austin, Texas or the average guys TV show from Duluth, Minnesota Okay, let's see. I think you can just let you know what our accent should be yes I think I'll do Austin takes his... Austin takes his spidey's in snikes. Oh, God, this is so hard. I'm gonna do... alternative views.

Very good. Okay. Hey y'all, welcome back to Alternative Views, the debate show that can get pretty spicy. Hold for applause. I'm here with three of the most fiery people on this side of the river. Introduce yourselves and tell us a little fun fact about yourself. Well, hi everybody. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I jumped right in. I'm so sorry. But I'm not sorry because I'm Pepper Flakes and I am FICO's Hell. And a lot of people don't realize this, but I was named after a dog named Pepper.

Thank you Pepper. Thank you, Pepper. Who's next? My name is Tofer Serrano. I am a hot sauce connoisseur. I had an idea for a show. It was me interviewing people while they ate spicy chicken wings. I was a little late to the game.

It was sort of an armbageddon deep impact situation. Someone snatched it from underneath me and I tried to Make my own version. It did not do terribly well. So now I'm here guesting making the circuits on the spicy Spicy talk show circuit. Amazing. Who's left? I'm sorry. Yeah, and I'm Jeff Grape's. I am a high school speech and debate teacher. I am here as part of a court release program to lesson the time on my sentence

so that I do not have to spend it in jail. Y'all are both so serious, come on. This is fun, this is spicy, both of y'all, come on. Point to Pepper. Thank you. I forgot my voice. All right, system. Pepper, the view that you brought in today to argue

is that ketchup does not belong on hot dogs. You get 20 seconds in the clock starting now. Okay, first of all, y'all, ketchup on hot dogs. I don't think so. Why would I put ketchup on a hot dog when I can put almost anything else on it? I love mustard, I love relish. Ketchup is just like some sort of sweet sugary corn syrupy,

maybe with a pinch of tomatoes. I don't need it, don't want it, don't need it. I'm a hot dog, don't want it. How much time do I have left? Don't need it, don't want it. I wasn't, I wasn't given a clock. I wasn't given a clock and bail if these cuffs are too tight. Can someone please, hold for a plow?

All right, who would like to give an alternative view? Wait, my alter, my view wasn't alternative. What am I doing? Why am I on the show? One, two, three, four, eight, riddle, riddle, glue, glue. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 3, 4, 8, Rital Red, Dolce Glue Crew! Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7-day trial at patreon.com-hayrital-rital.