Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #232: KMC Cinema

Episode Date: August 18, 2023

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Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you or to interrupt. Yeah, how can I help you? I just saw you waiting up here at the front of the movie theater. Okay. Well, you look like you're waiting for someone. You look a little nervous. Am I reading the situation wrong at all? That I'm waiting for someone in nervous You're waiting for a date, aren't you? I mean if I'm being honest it looks like you're waiting for a date to come in a little date at the movie thing Yeah, that's what it looks like. Well, you're not wrong old friend. I'm sorry old old man. We don't know each other really I did I met someone on Hinge you wouldn't know what that is you probably are thinking of doors

a dating app well kind of but She said she'd be here It's two after and I fear that you know my my favorite part of the movie is the trailers I let her know that so I just I hope she's okay, but also the same time 19 20 years old 19 and a half yeah young, but still an adult. Okay. Where's this going? You look nervous.

I'm an old man. I've been on many first dates at the movie theater. Okay. Congratulations. Can I give you a little advice, friend? From an old man to a young man experience in the very beginning of his dating journey from a fellow who's Admittedly at the end of his dating journey. Can I ask a question first?

How did those dates go? Did you end up with any of those dates or my man? I fucked on every first date. I ever went on my entire life. Okay. I always close. I always close. Okay, very, it's like like gling Erie, Glen Ross or so my dad says, I'm good man, you can, you can move along. More like Glenn Harry, Glenn balls. If you know what I'm saying, my man, Larry Glenn balls, what do you think you're gonna smash tonight? Honestly, that's not even where my head's at. Then your head's in the wrong place because the answer to that question,

a young man should always be yes. You should always be, you should be, be an artist for yourself. That's what you wanna do. That's what you're gonna do. You gotta believe it. You gotta believe it to manifest it, to make it happen. People don't say smash anymore, that's kind of ghost and gross.

What's your fuck style? We say Hulk, we say are you gonna fuck style? I've I'm actually a I'm a Madonna's us kids say today. I'm a Donna. Yeah Like a virgin. You mean you like a virgin. Yeah But Virgin is a ghost word. It's kind of gonna style. So we say Madonna. Even if you've never fucked You should know what you fuck style is. How do you practice? How many hours do you practice? Don't make me say masturbation. I think that no no that's all that's not practice You're working backwards if you're masturbating help help I will I'm trying

Around I'm trying to help you hate. Yes. Yes. yes, yeah. Do you know who you're talking to right now? No, that's the ghost of Gregory Peck. Lucky you Yeah, from the killer mockingbird lucky you But I thought when I watched uh when my dad plays his movies. He's always like sc scout, jam, hurt, watch, go to the courthouse. That's, to be fair, that's great. That's great to be fair. Oh, I thought Jimmy Stewart was like,

he's a poo-ca. Hey, come on, Mr. Washington, we're going to the Senate. Can I be honest? You don't want to be doing Gregory Pecker, Jimmy Stewart impressions if you're trying to smash. It works for the Pecker man back of the day. Hey lady, hey lady, hey lady. Yeah, I think this is the ghost of Gregory Pecker Either way you're the luckiest kid alive take all his advice

Look I don't want to take up too much of your time You're at the movies theater you're obviously excited about your first date. You obviously don't want my advice even though it's very good advice and I always fuck on the first date and there's never a second date. But that's fine. That's fine. You know, enjoy the rest of your night. I'll just be, I'll just go back over to my corner and wait for the next young man who

might want to listen to my advice. Mr. Peck, I release you. Mr. Peck, I release you. Mr. Peck, I release you. Mr. Peck, I release you. I heard this. I heard this one. One way to listen it. There's only one way to release me if you want to say it. Come on, man.

Come on. Let's all go to the lobby. Two tickets to the Guardians of the Galaxy, please. OK. Which we do have what we call our triple feature, where we're playing all three. Which Guardians of the Galaxy did. Okay, which we do have we have what we call our triple feature where we're playing all three which guardians of the galaxy did you want to see? The best one. Okay, that would be oddly number two. Okay, let's Sun loves these films and I'm trying to get him to talk to me about anything.

So I thought I would do something he likes so we can connect. Oh, perfect. I do have to ask, it's just in the computer system here. Are you going to talk to him after the movie? Because we don't allow talking in the theaters. Yeah, after the movie. Not call him and leave him voicemails the whole time about my thoughts.

Perfect. I do have to enter a slight grin into the system here just because that's what you gave. So I'm going to put you, let's see, I'm going to put you in row K. That is right at the... K. Correct. K. Okay, and we do have a KMC offer today only where we can have sort of boosters on your seats. You're sitting a little bit higher?

Sure. I can bring my Tupperware filled with tuna salad, right? Yes, this is tuna Tuesdays. I also have a bottle of red wine with me to make the egg. Well wine Wednesdays are tomorrow. So if you could leave the wine outside or at least on our system, not drink it outside. I'll leave it outside. Perfect. honor system not not drink it outside. Perfect.

And we put it in my coat. Absolutely. Okay. And we do have a special deal where for $2 extra, you can give the opening speech along with Nicole Kidman about movies. We can get my phone. Are you sure? Yeah.

Better not. All right. Alright. Okay. And we do have a- Wait, let's see. I come to this place for magic. That's only a magic. I'm gonna have to charge you two dollars.

If you keep going, if you go past, because here they are, I have to charge you two dollars. Heartbreak feels getting a place like this. I'll give you my money. You deserve it. Alright, just a few more offers here. We do have a special popcorn bucket to celebrate the new Guardians of Galaxy, but you are sent to.

No, no. I have to do the full picture. I'll get fired, man. Fine. It is called Groot-Suit Riot. It's a giant Groot in a, a Zoot-Suit. He has an old style sort of cherry pop and down. He's Zoot-Suit. He does say Groot suit, right? I don't know who that man is because I haven't seen the films yet. Oh

Well, let's he will keep you it too. I think to the best introduction a few more offers here. Are you a Legacy member where your parents did your parents ever see a movie? Well, one of my parents died here. Does that come for anything? ever see a movie? Well, one of my parents died here. Does that come for anything? Um, let me check with my manager, hey, hey Frank. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, this lady's, one of this lady's parents died in a KMC. Is that? Mother or father? Is that like a pre-pop front-up grade? Oh, a mother or father? Unless you had... Mother. Mother? Oh, yes, it's like being Jewish. If it came from the mother, then it does count officially. So yes, the free popcorn. It would be a free popcorn. So we can give you a free popcorn. And go and upgrade it to the zoo group.

Right. We'll give you the, oh it's a I was saying, Groot, suit, okay, to the zoo to group. I don't like popcorn. Can I have something else, please? Mammoth's in eight foot tall. Do you tune it, Sam? Three filled with popcorn. It's gonna turn heads. I don't like popcorn.

Okay, one more upgrade offer. We do have Guardians of Galaxy 2 available in 5DX. Now that's like 40X, but there is some sort of anal stimulation. Yes. What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Casey's typing.

What? Oh no, with her son. One, two, three, four, hey, little riddle. Don't screw. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com such a riddle riddle.