Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #236: McNamara Farms

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

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All right, John. From the silo, all the way to the creek over there. All of that is McNamara Farms. And one day it's gonna be yours, and that day it might be, huh? I don't want it. No, I don't want it. Hey son, come on. No, I- No. You're a McNamara. I'm sorry, yes, it's such a nice offer, such a very kind offer, but no thank you. What's not an offer, it's your legacy. I mean, you grew up on the farm, you helped me milk, you helped me to tassel, you helped me sweep the barns, you helped me count the grain.

I mean, this is your, this is in your DNA. You're, you're a McNamara. We don't want to see this farm fall into the hands of someone who didn't put, you know, their books, what tears into it. I could go either way. But yes, yeah, I do agree that it's, I do agree that I, everything that you said about how I spent the first 18 years of my life, I do agree. So we agree. So we agree. You said about how I spent the first 18 years of my life, I do agree. So we agree, so we agree. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

oh, um, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, that is what would be making that noise on a farm. That is a cell phone sound. Did you buy a cell phone? No. Well, it was purchased for me. Answer answer. I want to hear answer it right now Okay, hey this is John hey John. It's me Dave from Wall Street We're wondering when we can get you back pal

You're the best at doing cocaine and buying and selling You might want to take that off speaker phone, huh? Yeah, I Hey Dave sorry You're on speaker phone. I'm i hey davis sorry um you're on speaker phone i'm uh... i'm at my dad's uh... hey nice to meet you my name is random macnamara no he's on the farm this is random macnamara his dad

i'm a farmer and john's gonna be a farmer too oh yeah i remember hearing about that and seeing the irony you see he made a huge investment that just bed against small farms tinncha and bed against small farms tinge uh... bed against own dad uh...

david it's always good to catch up with you uh... leave some cocaine out for me uh... for when i get back to uh... the city john you're the best my guy uh... love you love to catch up again before EOD, and I just think you're the best. Come back soon. All right, see ya, see ya, Dave. What's EOD, huh?

It's end of day, Dad. It's end of day, it's end of business day. It's end of day, what? I don't even know who you are anymore. Tuckin' in your shirt, no overalls, little margarita rim around your nose from the cocaine. I just, I look at you and I don't know who I'm looking at you know what John if you don't want to be

here so bad oh please then leave oh okay great oh all right um see it's it's about August now I guess I'll see you for Thanksgiving runs through screen door hops and Lamborghini and lies like the wind. Wow, really tore up my driveway with that. Huh, well, it's okay, it's okay. So I don't have many years left, but the farm, a farm will sort of take care of itself, I think, maybe. Wish I had more kids.

Who, what to do with the farm? Everyone, everyone! I just came back from eating some of that good grass by the window of the farmhouse. Oh, the good grass, yes, the good grass! Did you leave any more for the rest of us horses or are you just bragging again? It's not about that terrible news. The old farmer, he's could have to find someone to take care of the farm. It is cool hot sun left. So wait, you didn't bring back any grass for us?

Because I said I would make grass pudding if you brought some back. We're all focusing on the wrong part of the story. Enough to smoke, though, right? You brought enough grass back to smoke? Roll them up. I basically wasn't even there for the grass. I happened to eat a couple of bites of the grass. How much did you bring back?

How can only, how much did you bring back? How canoli, how much did you bring back canoli? Look, we're horses. We're not really bringing things back. Our mouths are our hands, I hate it. But you always promise before you go here, let's cut to it. All right, hey canoli, where are you going? Where are you going?

Just gonna go take a piss. You know, make, stop by the window or farmers window with it. Oh, if you're going to get dressed can you pick some up for us? Yes, I'll make grass pudding for sure for sure for sure for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Eight yes and three for sure. He'll definitely do it See all right come on. I was you know of a yeah and a for sure That's not a yes, okay, that's not you didn't get it clear. Yes, I will do that You know, I don't like being sober. Please. I wanted to be high It gets us through the day can only Foxtrot I wanted to be high. It gets us through the day, can only.

Foxtrot. Foxtrot can't even sleep at nights. She kicks and whinnies. I haven't saw him, Nia. I'd love to lay down to sleep, but they told us no. Yeah, I don't really know why we can't do that. It seems like we should be able to, right? And only you always win the blue ribbons for your high jumping

and your strong muscles, but it's because you take all the grass Look it's truly not about the grass, okay? I promise next time I'm over there and there is more grass I'll bring some back All I know is I have no idea what the other point you made was I've already forgotten it and we're not eating grass pudding right now eating grass. Oh wait Something biscuit remembers bit come on biscuit Something about a hot sun Yes, global warming maybe quiz nose hot subs. Did you bring any of those back?

You bring us back quiz nose. You know what you guys are addicts, okay? That's why I don't because I can do the grass and be fine But if you guys try to do the it becomes this whole thing. It's your whole life. You want to smoke and eat the grass. No But Come on. I'm good for it. It uses my mouth because of mouth is as our hands and uses it to pat you down to make sure you're not holding out on us. Alright, come on man. Get off of me. Okay, you know what? Your bad vibes. I gotta get out of here. I can't I can't

fuck around with you losers anymore. What drugs out? Hopsin' Ferrari totally breaks it, shatters Ferrari. Oh no. Runs off into the distance. Hi, my name is Jelly Bean. I am an Australian sheep dog, a shepherd. And I will be hurting you today. I love you, my big fan. Oh, no!

If you could have hurt one of us, hurt me. I'm too tired. I'm too tired, and proud of this conception. I love to be with those drumtees. You love to wander, right? Who out here loves to wander? I do. We can't raise our hands, really.

Right, you're sheep. But you get a little lost and a little confused and have a hard time staying organized on your walk home. Is that true? Let me look around to see what everyone else is doing. Yes, I'm on my head. Yes. You're over there. You're over there. She whatever we need to be punished. We need to be punished. Who can punish us? Maybe you could do it with your big teeth No, I'm not here for that, but sort of threatening that a little bit Bite at your little asses and sort of circle around you quickly Not to scare you, but to get you get going in the right direction Now does anyone have any questions for me and jelly bean beloved family dog and hurting dog?

Yes, I do but I can't raise my hand. What's up? Um, I want to know what whatever I Want to know whatever everyone else wants to know Classic sheep well does anyone have a question anyone brave enough to ask a question? I think there was one sheep that brought up, where's your accent? My accent. Well... Was it me? Was it me? Was it me? Was it me? Was it me? Was it me? Was it me? That's my breed of dog. I'm originally from Australia, but that...

I'm not a racist. No, me neither. I'm not. I feel like you wouldn't say that unless you were. Well, my grandfather's from Australia, and he actually came over here because his owners broke up and one of them tried to find themselves here in America. And then that dog got the Naperts dog pregnant, another Australian shepherd. Now, I'm here.

There's another generation in between that though. But I'm here. You're not really Australian at all then. Ha ha ha. Should you just call yourself a dog? Yeah, just a dog. You're just a dog. A dog is hurting us.

I'm not a French sheep just because at one point, I was front friends. I get it. It's not fun to have someone bossing you around and telling you what to do. And you're trying to hurt my feelings and you're trying to bring me down. But I'm just here to help get you home safe and sound. Oh, question, question over here. Yes. Um, I'm sure you come bearing news of the world. Is it true that they're c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c- It's my name! And my name! And my name! And my name! My name is Oso-Doling!

Classic sheep. One, two, three, four, eight, Little Riddle, Don't Screw Crew! Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com-shayrittle-riddle. you