Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #237: 1-800-SCENES

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

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Hi, this is Groupon. How can I help you? Oh my gosh. Oh, thank God you're a real person, right? I've been a hold up for like three and a half hours. I don't have to answer that. This is Groupon. How can I help you? Can I get your email? Yeah, my email is DisneySlot174. There's 173 other people who have, oh, okay, Disney, that's not in my business. DisneySlot174. Hotmail. I was gonna say, okay, I was gonna be,

okay, hotmail, yikes. Right, in which group on are we taking a look at today? So I ordered a group on for a massage but when I got there the place like Thought like too clean. Oh too clean. Okay. Yeah, I was like have people even been here before it made me kind of feel spooked So I'd like to return it please for a full refund Ben here before? It made me feel spooked, so I'd like to return it please for a full refund. Um, okay, yeah, I just need a little more information. I mean, typically we partner with new businesses to try and get them clientele that will eventually come back. So it probably

was new. Can I ask that the nature of you being spooked? Was there a chill in the room? Was there a cold spot? No, it just looks like super clean. Hmm. What I could do is I could refund this group on credit, and you can use that just to different... Yeah, blah. Did you eat something bad?

No. No, no. I don't want a group on credit. I want to... Okay, I'm going to have to have you talk to my manager one second please. Hey, this is Gary. How can I help you, Groupon? Hi. I would like to return. Can I get your email, please? Yes, Disney Slut174 at HotBell.com.

Uh-huh. Okay. Which Groupon I was taking a look at today? Um, the massage one that I ordered. I showed up to the place and it felt a little too clean in there. Hmm. Okay, I'm gonna on hold for a few hours. My name is Denis Sayem and Group Anne Supervisor. Oh. How can I help you? Can I have your email? Yes, Disney slept 174 at the hot note.

I'm a piece. Six. Disney's night one, two, three, four, five, three six and what was the numbers? 174. 174. And that's AdMail. A hotmail.com. Yeah, I just need to get you over to our customer service department.

Oh my God, please don't put me on the... Oh. Hi, this is Groupon. How can I help you? Give me your email, please. I'm DisneySelette 174 and I would really, really love if I could get a refund on a massage. Is that sound crazy? This is going to sound insane. I just had somebody with a very similar email call. Do you know that person by chance? Is there like a DisneySlate community or?

Yes, which number 17345? I honestly can't remember. Can I ask which Disney character you think is the sled is? Well is that what that means or what does it mean? Probably Yago from Aladdin. Can you help me? Yeah yeah what Disney's like 174 was the rest of it? At hotmail.com. You know, you should always just say that full thing, just because I can't read my phone. You know what, I'm actually just going to call back and just hope that I end up a better result.

You're going to get me. Let's see. Let's just try. Hey, this is Groupon. Fuck. Well, well, well. Can I please have a return on my massage? OK, I couldn't find the place.

I can't find the place. I just couldn't find the place. Yeah. I can skip my manager and escalate you straight to the top. Here we go. Hold one second. Hello. Hi, this is DisneySlate 174 at Gmail. No, no, at hotmail.com.

I was wondering if I could get a return on a groupline that I bought. I'm sorry, my name is Jackson. I'm also calling to try to get a refund on a groupline. I called groupline. They connected two people who are trying to get a refund on a group buying. I called group buying. They connected two people who are trying to get a refund. Wait, what did you see your email was? Disney slut 174 at Honil.com.

I'm Disney slut 175 at hotmail.com. Oh my God. I've seen you with the conventions. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I thought this was hold music. This is Dizzy Slut 176, a homel.com. Well, you thought the conversation that we were having this hold music? I thought it was like AI generated, like they heard my email and they're like based on your email. Let's generate like music that's like more talk, it's like talk music,

like cake or something. Did we all buy a group on for the slutty Disney massage experience? Yes, it could you not find the place when you would look for it? I couldn't find the place. Ugh. This is, I mean this is classic, they got us, they absolutely got us. Fair is fair. Fair is fair. Who wants to kiss?

Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Faire is fair. Who wants to kiss? Hey, Dad, how's it going? Hey, champ, good. How are you? You sound so far away. College is so fun so far. So fun.

Two weeks in, loving it. You know how you gave me a thousand dollars for the semester. And I hope that this semester is a blast. I hope you can make that work in so many ways for you. And I know you will kiddo. Yeah, you were like, buy your books with it. And maybe like some extra groceries beyond the meal plan. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know. I like your subway and your Panda Express. So you're probably, how you're living it up and having a ball. Well, your mom just got in. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. No, um, I, this is so weird. I was just wondering just to be safe just to know that it's there. Can you send me? Huh? $3,000. Tweetie, we had this conversation. I can barely afford to send you to college, so that's an impossibility. Hypothetically, I ordered $985 worth of Panda Express to impress my dorm mates. And all the money was gone, and I can't buy books. What would you say to

that? I'd say you better come home. I'd say we gave it a shot didn't pay it out you better come home. I'm gonna try mom. Hey mom mom. Mom, mom, are you there? 985 dollars. You told you! We talk, we're in love. Dad! Dad! Sorry. Crystal, 985 dollars. It was just on sides.

I didn't get any entrees from... I just got... You didn't get any entrees? Crystal got hosed. Can you tell everyone it's all going to be fun if the whole floor, the whole door on floor got, what was it? Was it a good time? Did you have fun? Did you have a good time?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you jump off the bridge? Okay, yes, after we had the panda express, we went bridge jumping. And I got pretty hurt and I had to go hospital and I have a care pay my medical bill. Because I don't know many... Oh my God! Will you have to come home, then? No. Do you know how many shifts that shoe carnival I will have to work to make up $985 crystal. I'm gonna try grandma. Okay.

Like... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I called you mama! Sorry, my daughter and my son-in-law love me and we communicate, okay? Is that so bad? Can you please send me some Christmas money? I'll use the link in the form. My book ain't called it. It's April 3rd, okay? No, grandma. It's September.

It's two weeks into school. Why would it be April 3rd, grandma? Okay, alright. Yes, I knew that. Ask Uncle Santa for money. If you want money before December. Oh, oh, oh, Uncle Santa's phone. Hey, Uncle Santa, um... Crystal! Wow, I haven't heard from you in such a long time.

Yeah. Okay, go ahead and start the wiretap. All right, let's get it wired up. 347 star now. We're gonna fucking get this guy. Oh, ho, ho, ho, crystal to my girl, house college. I'm, because Santa is so, so fun. Levin it so far, 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10.

I can only get better from that crystal. Oh, ho, ho. 10 out of 10 is that code. I keep saying 10 out of 10 is that code. I can only get better from that, Crystal. Oh, oh, oh. Tentative echo to keep singing, Tentative echo. Um, can I have my Christmas money a little early? Because... Well... There was an accident.

And... Crystal, now I'm Uncle Santa. If I gave you your Christmas money early, I'd have to give every one their Christmas money early. Well, can you do that? I don't know. Well... You are one of my favorites, Christian. Let's just go get the naughty a nice list and do a quick check Okay, looks like you He's floating he's floating through the chimney. Oh, you's going on? Get up, get up. Who the fuck is this? Who are you guys? Get down, get down. He's floating, he's floating through the chimney. Oh, you'll never catch me!

Grab a sword, guys. I got a sword. Woo! Woo! One, two, three, four, Hey, middle-rid. Don'ts glue, crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com

such hey, riddle riddle. to the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com.shareedoverdil.