Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview: #240: Polar Tech Research Outpost

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

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Hello! Welcome to Polar Tech Research Outpost. You must be one of the finest scientists in the world, because you've been selected to be a part of our elite research team. Good for you! Here at Polar Tech, we take pride in our exploration of Antarctica. We take even more pride in keeping our scientists family safe. So let's begin, and may our hearts and curiosity guide us. Well you too sure know how to make a guy feel welcome. That was, I don't know how you did it with what we have on hand, but that was one of the best welcome cakes I've ever had in my entire life. As delicious.

Good, you're welcome. I'm so glad you get to the feeling inside. So glad you get to the feeling inside. Did you get to the feeling inside? Did I get to the feeling inside? He's saying feeling. When you've been here as long as we have, uh, you'll start to understand what he's saying. My gosh! Yes.

Yeah, I'm so sorry. It's just, and I totally apologize. It's the accent. It's throwing me up a little bit. Oh, yes. And as soon as I get used to it, I'm gonna understand every word out of your mouth. But you two, do speak the same language, science. I speak English the same as you. It may be a little more difficult to understand. You're from Missouri huh?

Da. Interesting. I just, because I'm not from the Ozarks, but I'm from, I mean, I'm just from like Southern Indiana, so I feel like I understand that generally. I just don't think I've ever heard an accent like that from Missouri. Interesting. Ew, little... He can be intimidating too, this guy. He's a 6-8. Huge beard. Little gruff, but he...

You two will get along. Every time I walk down the street in Ozarks or any other place, children run and scream and point and say Zengief. Zengief from Street Fighter. That's the Kerkart Zengief. It hurts my feelings. I don't know what the Zengief is. Oh yeah, well have you googled it? No. You look exactly like Zengief from Street Fighter. Down to the red shorts.

Can you pull up a picture? I don't know. I know that we don't have internet access. I joke, it's a joke. I'm rising the new guy. It's like saying, you know, if you're at a tree, there's an old OZARC saying, you say, you're at the tree and you say, could you run in tree real quick and grab me Sora? And I don't know where the door in your days. Sora. What is a Sora?

The Soda. Dr. Pasta, by the way, as well. And it's not all hazing and cakes down here. You know, we're rationing food. We don't really get to party that often, but it's a special occasion you've come down here to replace. The last scientist who is here, we're happy to have you here. Isn't that right, Calvin?

Yes, Calvin Klondike agrees. And just to reiterate, I know we've said ad nauseam. Last person died. So comfortably of natural causes. Just normal death for 27 year old scientist. Calvin, I'm sure he read that in the paperwork. We're being redundant here for Dr. Pasta. He doesn't need to be hearing this. Yeah, Galvin, I'm sure he read that in the paperwork. We're being redundant here from Dr. Posta. He doesn't need to be hearing this. Yeah, I mean, I look at God rest his soul. You know, it seemed it seemed like it was it was tough on y'all. I know you're supposed to be here three years together. I'm coming in here a year late. I got I got to learn all the dynamics. I got to fill in with a great scientist, filling for a great scientist who will dynamics I gotta fill in with a great scientist

filling for a great scientist who will be missed but uh you're a great scientist or Abidavio on the team well the computer is beeping I have to go and log a little video diary typing hello I'm coming to you from Polar Tech Research Outpost. I'm Dr. Albert Thorn, and here's an update on all of the data we have collected. The polar bears are acting the same. Seals are the same. Penguin, seabirds, albatross are seem to be a little tired, more tired than usual. We're wondering what's going on there. Weather patterns have been consistent over the last three months nothing to drastic and general vibe is pretty good. It bella's general vibe is good. Yeah it's great.

You should put there's been two types of weather called and freezing. Ha ha ha. Just a little joke from us. Doctor, I'll throw it aside. For me, for me, give credit. For me, give credit. Fuck! You keep doing this!

I've told you where United Front, on all the data we put out, on all the jokes we put out, we have to be a United Voice. No one can sort of disagree with us. This is like before we left when we had dinner in DC. And I think, this is a great meal, I won't be spending money for a long time, so I left $500 tip, and you and our departed friend both wrote on the bills from all three of us. Terrible, etiquette. Terrible. I remember it well, and then the waitress winked at me and went and mouthed.

Thank you. And I went, no problem. She said, I'm leaving for years and she said I'll wait Mm-hmm Wow, it is just it is just wild witnessing this dynamic and knowing that you know a year from now I'm gonna be right in there with you mixing it up chopper and up understanding every word that Dr. Calvin says You know I just I just I want to get there. I know I'm being I know I'm being you know I'm I'm chimpin' up the bit right getting ready for it I just, I wanna get there. I know I'm being, I know I'm being, you know, I'm, I'm champing up the bit, right?

Getting ready for it, but I'm gonna get there. Dr. Pasta, I got a question for you. What are you looking for to most about being down here in Antarctica? I gotta say, it's a, it's not always easy for a scientist, especially a scientist in my very narrow, very specific field of study, to make connections with other people.

Sometimes I can make pretty bad first impressions. I can be kind of abrasive and I can, you know, I'm looking forward to coming out of this thing with a couple of friends, honestly. friends honestly hmm well it's so lovely anything science related you're looking forward to your young gun just got your masters are you doctor it oh full of science that's a joke we just made that's a good joke if I can if I can you know it's not a big deal if I if I can't but if I can, you know, it's not a big deal if I can't, but if I can discover a new type of kelp, I think, you know, it's, look, I know this sounds stupid. All the kelp has already been discovered. There's no such thing as new kelp,

but I have a feeling that they would not bring up a kelp scientist like myself if there wasn't the chance that I might discover some new kelp. You're a kelp, Jaser. I knew I liked you. And can I- You didn't notice from my t-shirt that says kelp wanted?

Hahaha. Can I say something? In the old Zarks, I was a part of KGB. Of course, KGB stands for Kansas, Georgia, and a state that starts with B, formed a coalition to find new bears. Guess what? Could not find new bears because we never looked. We said there is no new bears.

All bears have been discovered. Could the B stand for bears? I mean it could. It does it for a good. It should. Stay with B, huh? Yes. But here's the thing.

We never looked because we thought all bears discovered and then one day after KGB broke up, I see animal in woods. It looks like... ...cold the acbeir? But not quite cold the acbeir. And I think to myself, my god, this is a nul bear.

So of course you're going to think everything's been discovered, but that's what everyone thinks until you discover the next thing. Dr. Albert, I caught maybe four words out of that. Which one? I'm not going to do Dr. Albert, I was hopefully whispering. His whole thing is he saw a bear, everything is discovered until it's not and then there's more stuff to discover. I was not paying attention.

I was trying, writing down on my phone. I want a kelp wanted T-shirt. I'm sure the story is more beautiful in his language. I'm sure it makes more sense. I'm speaking English. You did a great job. You did a native tongue now That's normally what we would say when we say native tongue is you're like your first language the language of where you're from

Yes native tongue Hmm It pick you up in the pile drive and not really though I Cushion your head with my thighs. I just a new initiation joke joke. Well, it's 0800, should we get to it? You remember from PileFile? Very fast. We had breakfast cake, I guess.

I guess time is pretty relative up here because it doesn't really function the same way it does back in Southern Indiana. Of course, before we go to start the day, we do have to do one thing which of course me, Dr. Calvin Klondike has to perform part of my duties which is I just need to take a piece of your hair in one ounce of blood to make sure it nothing has infiltrated these organic bodies that we... Oh yeah, I'm been saved you first right there. We're all up here. It's a charge of medical down here, yeah.

Take a block of hair and take some blood and the good and the play here and blood and we mix that in a ninja bullet and this will take a yeah, it's some salt and one cup and a half water. And we put in some vegetable broth and yeah. And then we do the rest. Add a sigh. Add a sigh. Anyways, before we get started for the day, Dr. Pasta, you must have some questions. I'm technically in charge here, whatever that means. It just means I'm the oldest. 78.

means I'm the oldest. 78. What does it mean, whatever that means? It means you're in charge. Yeah. Any questions, Dr. Baza? I mean, I guess my only question will be, where's my bunk? And if I put a sock on the door, does that mean the same thing it does back in my university?

We sleep in one king bed in the mattressy cardboard. No, of course I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anything science related to questions about our duties, we're obviously going to all take shifts during the day. You go first, then it's halving, and then it's me, Dr. Abbotorn last. No, I mean, I- yeah, I have a lot of kelp to study, so I'm excited to get to it and get, uh, get to kelp and- And just remember, if you hear an ominous beeping, wake us up, come and get us.

That means an unknown object is out there in the storm and coming towards us. What happened to your voice right there? What happened to your voice right there? One, two, three, four, eight, riddle riddle, school crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com-hairdowrittle. trial at patreon.com.sharadolridol.