Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #251: New Year's Scenes!

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

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Music I'm Patunia Clark, Dick Clark's daughter, and I'm coming to you at New Year's Rockin' Eve here in Times Square. I'm here with my co-host Joey Cheese. Joey, happy New Year. That's right, happy New Year to you as well. You couldn't tell by the name, but I am Carson Daly's second cousin. So there's a fun, we all have fun connections here. Everybody in Joe Business has a summer relative that got them in the front or back door. For me it was my second cousin, Carson Daley. Joey you sound a little

defensive. No not at all, Patunia. I'm just saying we all have connections. Everyone knows somebody in this business and we're here on a brisk. Brisk New Year's Eve. We're so excited to see the ball drop. I do wanna apologize for earlier. When I said see the balls drop, that was a slip. Brody slip. That was a rehearsal. That was a rehearsal, Joey.

So I've just said it live now. Yes. And you know, Joey, I had a great Christmas. How were your holidays? I don't celebrate Christmas, but my holidays were, oh you said holidays. Sorry, I am being defensive. This is something my therapist told me about. My holidays were good.

I went to the daily family house out there, Lake Tahoe. Carson has a compound he built out there for the family to use as a retreat. We had our yearly meeting where we discussed the ins and outs of what the family is going to be doing, sort of decide, you know, who's going to host what? And yeah, it was a good time. How was your Christmas?

I had a blast. A little bit later tonight, we're going to have hairy styles perform. We also have ice spice and a bunch of victorious secret models. So stay tuned for that. But for now, we're gonna go check in with the weather because it is feeling pretty cold. Let's chilly. We'll throw it to you, Carl.

Carl Jacobs. Hey, thanks everybody. Of course, it's me, Carl Jacobs, the weatherman, and I am Ethan Hawks' son. There it is. There it is. There it is. I am, a lot of people say, oh, you're Ethan Hawks' son. Does that make your mother, Umatherman? No.

Ethan Hawks had, it wasn't cheating. What he did wasn't cheating. I cannot stress this enough. He had full permission from Umatherman to do what he did. She was there. She wasn't necessarily aware what was happening, but she was aware of the situation that let it happen.

Thank you, Carl, for the weather update. 30 degrees. Ah, they cut out a little bit. Do it. Damn it. Joey, I thought we'd take a little bit of this time to talk about the history of the ball dropping in time square. Oh, Virginia, I thought you'd never ask in 1843. Is it a middle-aged John Rockefeller? Is it time for my segment? No, no. Oh, sorry.

No, it's easy. Not the time. I'm sorry to do that. It's a bad easy enough time for my segment. No, we can do it now. We're actually joined here now by Fibonacci. Should I go? Is it time for me to go? Nope. This is Mr. Fibonacci. He designs the ball every year for the past 62 years. Fibonacci, tell us about this year's ball. He's not to me. I'm sorry. I hate this man. Oh, I can't is it time for me? Sorry, we're having some technical difficulties. We're going to head back to Carl really quick with the weather to see if he any has any updates for us. Harry Styles doing a character? Okay, so Uma wasn't aware of the situation, I guess. I guess she was aware of even wanted more and he wanted something else, but she wasn't aware of what specifically would be going down at that time

Wow, so he's my a hawks. I want to say half But no not half half brother stranger things stranger things have happened like in 1843 a middle-aged John Rossi color. Please don't record the Eminem store Don't record the Eminem store Well, we don't we don't record the Eminem store, but we do highly recommend people shop there Show up to the Eminem store tonight. Bye. Some Eminem eat some Eminem's great best of time to buy It's a great best of time to play Speaking of this is almost a beetle-due situation speaking of seems like we call them here comes Two guests right right from the center of the square here comes to you guys it looks like it's peanut and plain M&M

Hey, mother fuckers, oh, can I not swear on TV? Oh, my son, hey, fuck you, fuck you. If you want to fight tonight, come to the M&M store. We will fight anyone who wants to fight. I can't get enough of those. Mel and your mouth, not in your hand. Thanks guys. Don't forget to shop tonight at the M&M store. It may say close on the door, but surely they're open.

Well, we have a lot ahead of us tonight on New Year's rock and eave before the balls drop. Nope, no ball drops. That was on you in 1843. A middle-aged John Rockefeller decided to celebrate New Year's in an untraditional way. His family had made their fortune through um okay the prompt are cut out and commercial break. Oh my legs are numb. Is this worth it? Is this gonna be? Ah fuck my legs are numb. Dad can you keep up? We're trying to like move. No, yeah, my leg is to the middle. It's all pins and needles

This I have to go I have to shit so bad dad. I can't I can't barely move You said you wanted to chat, bro. We're trying to meet up with kids from our grade. We're meeting right by the stage So we can see ice fights and Harry Styles. Dad, don't say you want to shit when you get by the house. See who? Dad, come on. Why don't you shit at home, you were off all day. I'm fine.

Nothing to do all day. I want to see Cineburst. I guess we can all say gums. Listen, here's, what can I do to make this go away? Here's a hundred dollars. I'm gonna go tell your mom. Okay, so you need to shit go away. Tell your mom I stood next to you. Okay, I can I do to make this go away? Here's a hundred dollars. I'm gonna go tell your mom shit go away Tell your mom I stood next to you, okay?

Mom's gonna double divorce you if you abandoned us in time Square on you Timeswear Double divorce that that would take all my money exactly exactly it all your weekends Dad you've had a real deadbeat coward. Her words, not mine. No, no, no, I told you to relay everything she calls me. You've been a real deadbeat coward. You volunteered to come out with us in New Year's Eve so we can meet up with our friends

and we can watch some pretty cool music. Don't give up now, Dad. Don't drop the ball. You know, when I was your age, right up there, you see that little alcove that jutting out the glass? That used to be a thing called total request live or TRL for short, and everyone used to stop by there. Dad, you're lagging behind, we have to move.

Please stop reminiscing. Sorry, it's just TRL. You're so old. Dad, could you not be so embarrassing? This is why mom divorced you. She said, your dad's always getting lost in his reminiscences. You have to be more present, be in the moment. Kyle, that's not totally fair.

She also said the sex was bad. Okay, any specifics? She said the sex was getting worse. Oh, no, started bad getting worse. That's not great. Okay, let me just take out Dad's little note pad and okay, that was word for word. I don't know, Dad, I don't remember specifically.

I'm writing a message. She said a lot of words, just listen to the podcast. Oh, Dad, if we were like two years older, I swear to God, we would not want you to come with us. Just listen to the podcast, okay? I will. All rest of America is. I know it's a pretty big hit.

It's cool you guys are stopping to sign autographs and post for pictures. I'm actually writing a memoir to sort of piggyback off all the attention you all are getting. I'm writing a memoir and it's called, How to Winner Back. And I'm hoping, huh? No.

Every chapter's in apology. And look at the end. It's a treasure map to my house. Well, I'm so glad that Doug Vorse is doing so well for Mom and obviously, you know, Kim and I are like big components of Doug Vorse. That's right for sending so many of these autographs. Mom, but it's right, the theme song. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 70 try- And Patreon's not coming out.

There's no way out. No, look, ice-ficed of the lyrics. There's no one else. No, look, I spiced of the lyrics. We just did kind of the music in the five, but Dan, you have to get your own thing, okay? You have to do something. You have no, you want to leave. I remember speaking of Shua Javi, if I remember not I spiced,

but the spiced girls, I saw them with your mom in Paris. We were both 19 and, there was a Bunga Bunga party happening in the VIP room. I forget that gentleman's name, but didn't mom also pay up posh and baby to say one becomes two at your divorce party? Um, yes, which was surprising. I didn't, I didn't know she had that sort of sway or clout, but that is fine. It's all going in the memoir. It's all going in the memoir.

So anything, if you have anything positive you want to add, just let me know, shout it out and I'll jot it down. He wasn't just a terrible partner to mom. He was also a terrible dad. Shorten to the point. Wow. Oh, who's's who's that? Is that whoa tight tight dress real tight dress?

Ooh Dad dad no, I'm just saying Who la la dad she's at least 90 Stop augling her. That's like someone's grandma. What are you doing? No, I'm just a This is a person. We also hear viewing. That's not even a performer No, I'm just saying like that's got needs, you know like it's been a few years and You know, your mom's clearly moved on. She's Clearly sent me texts and I've listened to the podcast and you've had several guests several high-profile guests on to talk about bedroom details. But Dad, I didn't know that that's something you were interested in.

Mom says that you're still pretty addicted to pornography. Well, I can quit whenever I want. Okay. Okay, quit right now. Well, no, because I'm in the middle of the video. You caught me in the middle of the video. You caught me in the middle of a video. I Got to have my walking porn. They're all you're always in the middle of a video dad. They auto play. You know what?

Can we just not can you just be a normal dad for one night? So Kim and I can celebrate New Year's Eve with our friends. Oh, this is a terrible angle. Um, I'll put this fun away. Uh, yeah, okay, whatever you said. Whatever you said, champ. You kids grow up so fast, like weeds. Oh, weeds! Your mom and I used to watch, we would binge every season of weeds. Um, it was about a woman as suburbs who sold drugs.

Dad, everyone knows what weeds is about. Okay. Couldn't get made today. You couldn't make that today. Tell you what. They've remade Dexter. They could make weeds today. Kyle, let's just lose dad in the crowd.

I say we dodge a weed away from him. They continued Dexter. Take my hand. It wasn't a remake. It was the same cast. For all that inside, my gift for all that inside. Hello, welcome to Timescraw all of Garden. You can't be here if you're just here to get out of the cold, you actually have to order and eat our food. How can I help you?

Uh, never mind, have a good night. I think we can leave it at that, right? Leave it at that, right? So cool. So cool. Look, kindness, yeah. For all my side. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com Sachet Riddle Riddle.