Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #253: Small, Medium, or Large Returns

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

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Oh Let's see here going through my big pile of laundry on the floor Aaron do you mind helping me? Okay, this is kind of a big task here kind of damp still You know what I yeah throw this back in the dryer. Excuse me. Oh Messing with somebody's home Clothes goblin. That's hard to say. A high clothes goblin. Well, they don't say it at all. My name is Jerome. I don't need to be called clothes goblin.

Sorry Jerome. So you live in my damp clothes? Well, that's my way of saying it. Another way of saying it is that you built your house around my house. Well, if I didn't hold on. If I didn't throw my clothes on the floor, you wouldn't have a house, right? So I'm... am I? Oh, we got a philosophy major here. Were you in the dryer? Hold on, if I didn't throw my clothes on the floor, you wouldn't have a house, right? So I'm, am I? Oh, I'm gonna pull off a V-Major here.

Were you in the dryer? If so, I'm sorry. Do I look dry? Unless I try to. Do I look dry to you? You look sopping wet. You look, you're covered in K-so. Jerome, is this what happens when you don't fold your laundry

for a week? Does a laundry goblin show up and live in your clothes? Well, so parents often tell their children, if you don't, fold your clothes on laundry goblin, we'll show up in a pile of clothes. You're coughing up, Keso now, are you okay? This guy had Keso in his pants. Don't look at me.

Look at Mr. Keso pants on me. I think it's, it's almost impressive I had a jar of Keso in my pants. That's almost impressive. Yeah, I wish it was a jar. Lose. Lose Kaso. Anyway, I'm with that is told to a child and he the scares them straight, not a right path,

or it conjures me into existence. Now when I show up at an adult's house, that's pretty much, that's over. I mean, at that point, this guy, you know, you like to keep it close on the floor There's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do. Sorry. I'm a little aghast I've just never heard scared straight outside of the prison system. Oh They cut all my mori episodes

I was big on mori. Oh wow, so you're pretty old. So here's I come on you know more It's a double you know more. So here's I come on you know more than I'm old you know more I know I know more I don't I want to go home what no I'm having one of those socks. I think this is how it works. Hand me that sock right there. Here you go This is a sock so now you are ready to go just that laundry elves. Oh, okay I'm in laundry gobbling Okay, you gotta fuck me to take me away. Okay.

Well, you better head out and I'm gonna start doing some stretches. Yeah, okay, bye, bye, bye. It's okay, so I'm. Hey, you're the way out. What are we recording today? It's a, yeah, time to, you want to? Well, he's probably done by now.

Are you ready? Okay. No, no, no, no, no, cut these noises. Okay, so please. Oh, God, probably done by now. I don't know. You ready? Okay. No, no, no, no, cut these noises. Please. Oh, God, probably done by me. Somebody kill me. Oh, case it. Where's case of Tony?

Uh, case of Tony. Wow. Love that case. There he is. Love that. We love case of Tony. Hey, what is this? Speaking of stuff that we love.

Speaking of stuff that we love. I dare you. I dare you to come up with something after me fucking a laundry goblet. Yeah, I think we should call it right for the whole day not just this episode. I think we're gonna This will be our new pink with baseball the whole episode of that'll fucking a laundry goblet Have what we do that. We come up with five different teams If I could go back in time to 2018 when we started the show and I could only play them one sentence from the show, it would be, can this be our new Penguin baseball? Okay, so we just add a fucking laundry goblin for an episode.

We'd go, we don't know what any of those words are. And why are you just telling us about COVID? Our new focus is the international goblin fuck squad. Now. No. Every major city gets a goblin fuck squad. No, every major city gets a goblin fuck squad. No, but here's the rule. No, but there's no crying in fuck squad.

Hey, look, we could do that. We absolutely couldn't do that. We could do that next week. We could do that whatever we want. And that's kind of, it's like you're, it's like you're playing a little Russian real at every time you turn on the HRR Patreon because it's like we could do something little rushy real at every time you turn on the HRR Patreon

because it's like we could do something that no one wants to hear. Or we might just do something that a few of you want to hear. And that is what we're doing today because we are playing America's favorite game show. Small, medium, or large. Shut up, baby. No, no, no, that's licensed.

We can't use that, that's bond. Bada, buzz. Oh, I guess I Nope, that's licensed. We can't use that. That's Bond. Bond at Buzz. Oh, I guess I have to make Donalds. No. Never. Yes, this is America's favorite, a new game show. And by new game show, I mean, I had this idea maybe three years ago, and we'll just do it more of it now.

But it's America's favorite game show. It's Small Medium or Large. Look, you guys know how to play Small Medium or Large. I don't know if you had to play. Of course, it's bullshit. Yeah, we're like Who's the guy from by-by-body who was always the middle square? Circle gets the square. He was the dad on by-by-body, you know, yeah He's the the alien on American dad. You were the dad in by-by-body and high school Aaron Paul amazing memory Paul Lindes who I'm thinking of thank you

I have a note in my phone. That's just facts about you I'm okay, it's my mind palace air I have you Sherlock Holmes pointing to his phone be like I got my mind palace. Wait, you're just going and be like, I got my mind to balance. So you're just Googling. Sure, you're just Googling. What are you doing? Okay, it's my number, Lodge. You guys don't know how to play,

but everybody's playing at home, maybe for the first time, you need to know how it's played. So I'm gonna give you a series of prompts, and you have to tell me, do you want the small version of that thing, the medium version of that thing, or the large version of that thing?

And then at the end, of course, we cut up all the points that whoever wins gets to go home with the big winner, and that's what we're playing for today. Addle. Since we've been doing this a few times. Since we've been doing it. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's shit. Shit. Since we've been doing this a few times, Aaron and I absolutely love this. People love this. Can we introduce pop and this is just I'm just spit balling here. I'm just brain-serving. Good we introduce schmetians and marges? I've I've I've long I've long thought about introducing the

concept of a schmetiam or mullarge. And I was giving some of these some rye earlier and she was giving me an either or I go say that's simply just not how the game is played. I don't want to jump to shark too much on this thing. Okay. I don't want to I don't know over compl too much on this thing. Okay, I don't want to, I don't want to over complicate. Sure. What's, you know, what's easy, PC, American, squeezy. This is small meat of our large.

Okay. All right. Here we go. Easy, easy, easy. Oh, brother. Here we go. This is your first one. Small meat of our large.

Your cousins doing a little skit at a family gathering. How much do you want to see your cousins doing a little skit at a family gathering. How much do you wanna see your cousins doing a little skit at a family gathering? Oh, how old is this cousin? That's a question, that is the question. Cause if it's like 10, then that's pretty cute. But if he's like 23, that's, I wanna get out of there. Is 10 cute?

10 might be old for it to, you know, 10, 10. I'm trying to pocket a bit, I think. 10th of pocket, okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna cover, because I don't know the age. I'm going to cover my bases and say medium. I will lightly laugh and humor and for, yeah, 15, 20 minutes. Yeah, you can't go much longer than that. 20 minutes. That's really pushing what I will put up with with a little skit at a family gathering. Aaron's calling you in this. Talk to you on hand. Talk to you on hand.

Okay. The thing, performance isn't family gatherings. It's about how, it gets out of hand if everyone's getting up there. Do you know what I mean? This isn't a talent show, okay. But isn't this a skit with your cousins? What do you mean everyone? You mean all the cousins?

I mean, like, if it's one skit skit if we're if it's quantity over quality I'm in I'm in for what I'm Aaron Aaron get up here all the cousins we solve JFK's matter. We're gonna perform the solution matter. Yeah, so I'm gonna go I'm gonna go go medium. Medium, okay, two mediums for you guys, that's fine. Smart. Small medium or large? Would you like whipped cream on top? Small. I don't, I don't want whipped cream on top.

You don't want whipped cream on top? Small for Aaron, interesting. That's a coffee drink. Do not put whipped cream, I'm gonna slap your hand if you try to put whipped cream in here my coffee. Pumpkin pie large for sure. Coffee, I used to always say no whipped cream if I got like a specialty drink like a whatever.

And then recently just last week I said no whipped cream and then I went to drink my coffee and nothing came out and I was like I feel the coffee inside the cup and nothing coming out and I opened up the lid and they had still whipped cream because I got like a chestnut, something like a whistle nut, whatever latte. And then I had a little, I was like, well, let me eat this so I can get to the sweet juice below. And it was so good. And I think now I'm back, I've come back around on whipped cream and it's pretty good.

It was very good. The thing about whipped cream on top is if I feel like if you're, if you're drinking it, you're not really getting the same, you just kind of have to eat that whipped cream and then have your coffee, right? Like it's just, I like whipped cream on top of a dessert because then you can have a little whipped cream in every bite. Yes, but whipped cream on a drink, I'm not as big on. Better than you remember.

Everything, can you give us your answers if we're curious? Yeah, whipped cream on top, I'm a large. I think even if it's a drink, if it's a drink, I'll scoop it off and I'll give it to my dog. And I say you could have some whipped cream as well. Oh, a pop cup. I love giving it a dog. A pop cup for a dog. If it's like homemade whipped cream, like if it's thick, like that's good. But if it's, you know, I'll take the canister whipped cream. Give me that ready whip every day.

Okay, JPC. Hold on. JPC in high school. This is Indianapolis JPC in high school. Whipits, small medium large. You know what? I don't know that people were doing whipits. I just, I'd never encountered them unless it was like through media. Like I remember, I think they talk about whipits

and night at the Roxbury. And I was like, huh. You're like, I love diva. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, small medium or large. You're like, I love diva. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, small, medium, or large. You're a desire to go to a NASCAR race. Small.

Small, extra small. Yeah, small. Yeah, those cars flip and go into the stands. Can you, man? Not all the time, but if you're all the time, you can see it happens all the time. Yeah, I'm fine if like, you know. If they could guarantee that, I would go.

No. The Afrosal Westbrook leaps for a loose ball and dives into the crowd You're like, oh that was uncomfortable, but a cognacar. No, let's try to kill people Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com.shareedoverdoll.