Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #274: Would You R8ther

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

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And use code RIDDLE, might. Close enough. Perfect. Here's your first would you rather. Would you rather all your food has to be scrambled or none of your food can touch and you have to eat everything separately one at a time. I really enjoy my foods not mixing. So I would prefer the sort of, I almost said segregated, isolated food.

I think it probably is segregated. That word just has like a bad- It's loaded, yeah. It's a loaded content. It was the appropriate term, but I knew the minute I said it, someone would pounce on me, so... But I said it anyway. Just for the sound bite of Adolf saying,

I prefer segregation. Yeah. And Adolf, you were saying that you thought all of your food should be busted. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Enough, enough, Mercy. Why is this happening?

Um, GPC, I don't really have a strong opinion about this either way, but I would say I'd pick the second one because every once in a while I think I'd be kind of grossed out if everything was scrambled. There is a thing, yeah, I think I don't want to do that thing where I have to eat everything separately. I feel like, like, I love taking a bite, taking a different bite, you know, mixing and matching my bites. So that part would be annoying. But I think that there are there are a couple of certain meals that everything scrambled together would be nasty.

Totally. Now I'm not I'm not saying like, you have to scramble your dessert in with your like on. Oysters. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying that, but I am saying like. Eee. If it. Eee.

From the down, the chocolate cake with oysters. Eee. And a pesto sauce. Don't. Oh, yeah, pesto sauce sets it off, because the cake with oysters is great, but. No. Okay, so you guys are both going,

your food can't touch, but you have to eat everything one at a time. Yes, do we get a point if we answer the same thing? Yeah, you both get a point. You both get a point for answering. If you refuse to answer, you don't get a point. Oh, nice, okay. The only way to win is to play.

It's like life. Is it judges? No, it's not. They said no? I fucking hate these judges. Can I talk to them? They've been on my back for 300 episodes. Yeah, but Erin, these judges love what Adel was saying about segregation, so that kind of goes to show you what they are up to. Oh, okay, well then I'll take it as a compliment when they don't like me.

Okay, would you rather all milk taste like Dr. Pepper or all tomatoes taste like crackers. Mmm. Uh, milk? Even ketchup? Well, so the ketchup, the tomato part of the ketchup is going to taste like crackers. Yeah. But like whatever else they put in the ketchup is going to taste kind of the same, but they're just, you're basically, your base is now going to be crackers.

kind of the same, but they're just, you're basically, your base is now gonna be crackers. I eat way more tomatoes than I drink milk. So I'm gonna, obviously milk is in a lot of stuff, but. Now that's what I'm saying. But I feel like, I feel like I could handle some cheese that tastes like Dr. Pepper, but I think tomatoes tasting like crackers would be such a shame.

Now I will say, Adel, it's not some cheese that tastes like Dr. Pepper. It's all cheese. Well, not all cheese is made from milk. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. It's, it's, it, but I guess, wait, hold on. Not all cheese is made from cow's milk. Yeah.

Not all cheese. Oh, is this all milk or just cow's milk? All milk tastes like Dr. Pepper or all tomatoes taste like crackers. Oh, this is, this is a mess. All cheddar. This is a mess. All cheddar. This is a mess. All cheddar? This is a mess.

Yeah, you can't subvert this by having some goat's milk or goat's tomatoes. Oh, this is a mess. Because in my head, I went, Dr. Pepper, obviously, I'm only really ruining cereal, but I'm ruining cheese. But if I saw, Erin, if we were in Wisconsin at the Mars Cheese Castle. Which we wouldn't be.

Which we wouldn't be, which we wouldn't be ever, if there's a thing that says Dr. Pepper cheddar, my brain is like, fuck yes, I gotta try this. This is gonna be funky and weird and sweet and whatever. If I eat a salsa, if we're at like, if they open up Chi-Chi's back up, they bring it out of retirement, we're eating chips and salsa.

Can you imagine dipping a tortilla with a healthy dose of salsa, biting into it, and salsa. Can you imagine dipping a tortilla? With a healthy dose of salsa biting into it and it tastes like crackers. It would just taste like more tortilla I don't want to live it would just feel like you just didn't put anything on your tortilla Crackers you wouldn't be dipping a tortilla into it anymore. You'd be dipping like you'd have the salsa tomato into it cheese Yeah, cuz in that scenario, cheese still gets to taste like cheese. This one is crazy, JPC.

This might be your craziest one yet. I'm gonna say finalizer, milk. I want milk to taste like Dr. Pepper. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I want tomatoes to taste like crackers. Wow. Took her a while to get there. I will say I went to Whataburger once in Texas

and they had a Dr. Pepper milkshake. Milkshake, very good. I had it and I loved it. Yeah, it was very good. But would I want every milkshake to taste like Dr. Pepper? And in fact, every cake that I eat would taste a little bit like Dr. Pepper

if there was some milk in there. Sounds like a nice life. I don't think I would hate, yeah, I don't think I would hate that. Which they say, they say the secret is Dr. Pepper's like half, like cola, half root beer. Oh really? Yeah, someone unveiled the secret,

but I don't know if it's true, I just saw it on TikTok. That's just like a, this is a TikTok, you saw it. Uh-huh. Yes, he did it. Oh, okay, perfect. The thing about it is the consistency stays the same. So I just don't know, I don't think I ever want to eat, like, bite into, let's call it salsa,

or just some like diced tomatoes, and have it, have the consistency of tomato but the taste of crackers, because I don't even, like, crackers is such a... specific consistency, that I don't even know what really the taste is. I don't wanna do that. That sounds awful to me.

All pizza ruined? All pizza ruined? All pizza ruined? I hadn't thought of pizza. I mean, of course the cheese is gonna taste like Dr. Pepper, but. Yeah, I know, but then all pizza's ruined no matter what though, Addle.

But I feel like you can balance out sweetness more than you can. No, I can get a white pizza. JBC? No. Addle, you should pizza. Yes. JPC? No. Uh, uh, Adel, you should be okay with that, right? Adel loves that. Yeah, Adel, why are you so upset? Adel said JPC and then he did a big thumbs up to the camera when he heard someone said

white pizza. To the camera. We gotta start releasing the videos so that, uh, the stuff that we say can't be held against us like this. No, no, no. JPC, that would you rather stressed me out. Sinister, fucking sinister. I think I'd do the milk taste like Dr. Pepper. The tomato-sut crackers thing would bother me a little too much.

Okay, this is a hard one. I don't like this one either. Would you rather you have to text an ex for permission before you can brush your teeth or have a 10-minute phone conversation with a cousin before you can brush your teeth, or have a 10 minute phone conversation with a cousin before you can watch TV. Oh, easy. Cousin. Sounds nice. And I have enough cousins that are not bothering

the same person all the time. You're gonna rotate. How many cousins do you think you have, Erin? I have 10. Okay. But are you especially close? Like, would a cousin be bothered if they got a 10 minute phone call from you like right now?

A few of them probably would be. I would say that I would have three cousins that I could call right now, maybe four, that they wouldn't go, oh my gosh, there's an emergency. Yeah. Someone's dead. Yeah. Someone's dead. Yeah. I would say that they, like, I have like maybe three or four cousins that I can call and they go,

oh, I hope she's okay, but hi, because I would normally text before a phone call. Yes, yes. So here's the deal. You have to have a 10 minute phone conversation with a cousin before you can watch TV. So if you call your cousin and you chat for five minutes and then they say, okay, I gotta go.

And they call, they hang up on you. You can't watch TV. I can't watch TV? No, you either have to call another cousin or you have to like beg that cousin to stay on the phone with you for 10 minutes. I don't know if I'd have to beg. I just need to ask really good questions. Yes.

And do they know why I'm calling? Can I say, hey, I have to what? You can say it. It doesn't necessarily make, but Erin, it won't necessarily make sense to them. Like they won't understand. If someone called me and say, hey, I have to be on the phone with you for 10 minutes

or I can't watch TV, I understand what they're saying to me, but I'm like, huh? Yeah, but me not making sense makes sense to them. Makes sense to them. If I made sense to them, they'd be like, are you sick? Are you ill? You're making perfect sense.

What's wrong with you? Oh, you said cousin too, right? I do cousin you. Because that's just going to be awkward to be like, and also I'm up at all hours of the day. So to text an ex at like 3 a.m. being like, isn't it cool if I brush my teeth? Like they're gonna be asleep and wake up and be like, is this like a booty call?

What is this? He didn't brush his teeth last night, I guess, cause I didn't give him permission. Well, this- Yeah, and then they know your whole thing. This is the thing, cause it's like, you don't just have one ex, you don't just have one cousin. So it's like, if you really need to brush your teeth,

like you have like a job interview, or like you have to go meet people. Yeah. You're going to have to text like a bunch of exes. And as for permission, like across, like if it's really important, you're going to have to throw the net pretty wide. Yeah.

Just like with like a TV show, like if you talk to your cousin for six minutes, and they're like, hey, I got to go. You're like, fuck, like I want to watch TV. Do I call another cousin and like try to do the same thing? This is where I'm jealous of the Habsburgs in Germany. Cause this is interchangeable. The punishments are interchangeable.

Got them. That's why they have those chins. Yeah. They're texting their cousins, AKA their ex-wives, all the time, at all hours of the night. Okay, so you're both going 10 minute phone conversation with a cousin. Yes, please. I'm gonna take the ex one.

And also, it would encourage me to watch less TV, which is a good thing. Oh, yeah. That's true. You would end up watching way less TV. I'd be more productive in life. If there was a 10 minute phone call barrier to every time I wanted to watch TV, I would come up with some pretty compelling reasons to be like, I'll start, I'll get into books. I'll be a books guy from now on.

He needs over, I guess. Baby reindeer doesn't sound that interesting. One, two, three, four, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.