Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #275: Chatterbox #20 w/ Janet Varney!

Episode Date: June 14, 2024

Listen to the rest with a 7 day free trial at our Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, GPC and Aaron, come on in. I don't know if you saw I got a new couch for this studio here. Ooh, it looks sharp. Yeah, this is like a really nice couch. Yeah, sit down, enjoy it. Feel free to, you know, get comfortable. No, I mean, it does look sharp in that, like it looks like it's pointy. Yeah.

Would you say the color of this couch, would you say it's like it's pointy. Yeah. And would you say the color of this couch, would you say it's like blonde or? Yeah, it sort of looks like there's like a Janet Barney shaped lump. Oh, interesting. If she's in there, I'm worried about if she's breathing or not. Should we quickly?

Janet is a couch. You're sitting on Janet. Oh God. Wait a second. Right on my lungs. That's why the couch looks so sharp. It looked like, I didn't want to say anything, but it looked like it was made of human bones.

And Janet, this is a compliment to you. You definitely look like you're made of human bones. Oh, thank you so much. I have often said to people, can you see my skeleton within? And so the fact that people are able to just appreciate that and see it and enjoy it makes me feel so good. It's the whole scene.

Because I love you for you, but I also love you for The Skeleton Within. This sounds like a self-help book, The Skeleton Within. The Skeleton Within. This sounds like a book, this sounds like you would, if you worked at a nine to five, some big corporation, they'd bring in a guest speaker to talk about The Skeleton Within.

Yeah. When I was little, there was a Ray Bradbury like short stories book that I think I read when I was far too young, as many of us have experienced with many different books. And there was a short story about a guy who was really obsessed and creeped out by the fact that he had a skeleton inside him.

And he ends up like pairing up with some guy who's like, I can take care of that for you, sure. And then he has some kind of weird whistly tongue that I think just goes in and sucks out all your bones. And at the end of the story, someone walks into this guy's house and there's just like a puddle of goo on the ground, but it's somehow he's still alive and he like is screaming.

Sounds really romantic. A skeleton within. October countries. It's really romantic. All those stories are like, it's like a man and his wife are on honeymoon in Mexico and they go into like a mausoleum or something. And then they see bones.

They're like, there's bones down here. There's someone's bones. And then they like run out screaming. I think Ray Bradbury showed all his cards and let us know there's someone's bones. And then they like run out screaming. I think Ray Bradbury showed all his cards and let us know he's terrified of bones. Wait a second, they went into a mausoleum and they were scared that there were bones in there? Why were they in there?

Yeah, but you'd expect to find bones in a mausoleum, right? That's not like out of place. That's like going to a library and be like, books, books everywhere, oh! Hey, take it up with Bradbury, okay? I will, is he still alive Googling it now? Definitely not. And as a representative of the show bones, this hurts.

Fuck, that's right. I gotta watch what we say. Watch your mouth, buddy. And sorry, and Janet, sorry, your book is on now. Did you just mistake me for Aaron? That's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. And I too,'s the best thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. And I, to me, the best thing that's ever happened to me

as well. I panicked. Jen, anytime you're eating at a restaurant or anything, you are a representative of the bones, so you have to be careful how you tip, what you say. Whether I eat the bones. Whether you eat the bones. Whether I eat the bones.

Chicken, I invariably order. Now that Jen and Erin are side by side though, it does make me wonder with Erin's recent hair color change, is this a, did she kind of, is she trying to take someone's style or kind of like mimic? Like Erin, you said you were working on bangs, correct? Yeah, they hurt to grow. Oh, I thought you were talking about hair.

They hurt to grow, that makes it sound like you just have, where your bangs would be shaved to the skull. Yes. And now they're slowly growing. All right, Ray Bradbury called them. Janet, I got some information this morning and I was going to text you immediately. And then I went, she's gonna be on the show today.

I can tell her on mic. Tell me everything. So I'm going to New York soon for a wedding. And I'm going to try to see a couple Broadway shows while I'm there. Yes. Because I haven't been in a while. And I was looking and sometimes it shows some future things

that are coming to Broadway. Guess what's coming to Broadway this fall? The thing that I already said that we all had to see or that you and I had to see? I don't know. What is it? I don't know. There was something. I'll give you one hint. Poor, poor the pirate.

It is? They're bringing her back. They're bringing her back. Newsies? Newsies. No, the Pirates of Penzance. Or Newsies on the Sea. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a New Orleans style jazz version of Pirates of Penzance. Oh, we're getting to it.

We're going. Tell me. jazz version of Pirates of Penzance and I have to tell you who's playing. Tell me. So I don't know who everyone's playing but I do know who's playing the general, the modern major general. David Hyde Pierce? Yes. Wait is it? Addle, how did you know that? Are you looking it up right now? Of course he knows. I have notifications for all upcoming Broadway shows. Oh that's gonna be so charming. Mm-hmm. Daniel B. Kim is in it. I am the very Frazier of a Frazier German General. My brother's a psychiatrist and I am a psychotherapist. But we have to go, right?

He's Niles, okay? He's not gonna sing I am the very Frazier of a Frazier Major General. Niles' last name is Frazier as well, am I wrong? I mean, he said Frazier. No, his last name is Crane. Wait a Frazier no his last name is Crane wait Frazier is his first name yeah what's Niles' last name? You thought his name was Frazier Frazier? Are they brothers? I thought they were lovers they're definitely brothers and lovers

but correct me if I'm wrong they did a reboot of Frazier but Niles wasn't on it right they did not have David yeah he's not there. Alan Grier repressing his role as Alan Grier. You, wait, you watched it, but you didn't know that Niles and Frasier were brothers? I watched the reboot. I watched the first episode of the reboot, and I thought they were, I had no idea they were brothers.

Got it. I've never, I don't think I've ever watched, I must have watched the original Frasier at some, but I couldn't, I don't, I don't think I've ever watched, I must have watched the original Frasier at some, but I couldn't, I don't, I don't even remember that. I read the book, Poking a Dead Frog, years ago, and it's a book that's just like interviews with comedy people, comedy writers and everything like that.

And several people in the book were like, the best sitcom ever was Cheers. Cheers was the best sitcom ever. And I'd never seen Cheers and I was like, oh, watch Cheers. And I watched Cheers from the beginning, and so much of Cheers doesn't age well at all. And I was like, it's so interesting for people to be like, and some of the writing

is very sharp and clever and witty. And I do think there was generally good writing on that show. But as an example of like, this is it, I'm like, well, certainly not all of it is it. I think in Cheers, is he married to B.B. Neuwirth? Yeah, that's a little bit. Yes, he is, yes.

Yeah. Huh. Is she on Frasier? Cheers is married to B.B. Neuwirth. Yeah, she's on Frasier, right? Yeah, she's on Frasier as well. That's his ex, right? So his name is Frasier Cheers.

His name is Frasier Cheers. Also, Daniel Day Kim, who is on Lost, is also in this production of Pirates of Penzance. Oh, I love Daniel Day Kim. I forsaken my boy. Yeah, Daniel Day Kim. No, that is Daniel Day Lewis. Who I wish was also in this. But he doesn't say who he's playing.

He might be the chief of police. Oh, that would be interesting. How fascinating. He might be the chief of police. Oh, that would be interesting. How fascinating, okay. Someone, I forget the third person, I already canceled that bit, is playing the Pirate King. Okay, I was gonna say, Daniel Day-Lewis as the Pirate King is the strangest, but yet.

No, it's Daniel Day-Kim. No, but did I say Daniel Day-Lewis? I meant Daniel Day-Kim. We're all turned around. Daniel Day-Kim being the Pirate King. Well, no, Adel and I intentionally did that to Janet. We fucked you guys up. You really did.

You really did. Yeah, we really did. And I thought about doing a Damien Lewis sort of toss in, but then I was like, I don't wanna mess through the whole thing. Don't muck it up too much. Damien Lillard, is that the guy who played Shaggy? No, that's Matthew Lillard.

The Portland Trailblazers. I'm sorry, now he's on the Milwaukee Bugs. That's Matthew Lillard. Same time. Oh, I'm sorry now he's on the Milwaukee Bugs. That's Matthew Well, we're not here to talk we're not we're here to chatter Sorry, I just heard that we're not here part and I got so scared. I thought I was in a Ray Bradbury novel We're here to chatter box Chattering boxing that we were doing so far? What have we been doing so far if not chatting?

Erin, you've been trying to box someone in the frigid cold. So why don't you come on in, put on a sweater. That's why everything hurts. That's a chatter box. And everybody hurts, R.E.M. So why don't we get into this chatter box? Janet, thank you so much for joining us for this, your very first chatterbox. Do you know the rules?

Talk about some stuff? Oh, Janet, oh, I'm so sorry. No. That's not the rules at all. You have to be the worst. Okay, yeah, I guess I should have been more specific when I said we chatted about stuff. Yeah, it's specific stuff.

Okay, do we know what today's, I guess, am I supposed to ask what today's specificity is going to be? Oh, Janet, you were supposed to bring in questions. Wow, she stepped in again. Please say skeletons, but not the show bones. I feel we've covered that. Admit it, you.

Please say the Pirates of Penzance in New York City. What about Pirates of the Penzance? It's a Pirates of the Pen Dance, but it's all like Captain Jack Sparrow's. Everyone is in like full Johnny Depp Cosplay for the entire- Oh God. That would get tired so fast. How long could the musical possibly be?

Like three hours. No way! Boy, howdy. I'm supposed to watch Niles for three hours? I don't think so. He's gonna be great. What are we supposed to watch Niles for three hours? I don't think so. He's gonna be great. What are we supposed to be talking about? So why we don't get chastised again when we bring it back around to the P's of P.

Which I want to keep talking about. I'm certainly comfortable doing that. With the very little information we have about the cast, I could still do it. I'll throw in another topic quick. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew! Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7-day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey