Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #276: History Lessons

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

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All right, everyone, yoga mats away. Bring out your bean bags and downward dog into your seats. Welcome, everyone, to today's history lesson. Of course, I love to announce myself at the top of every class just in case anything's changed for anyone. My name is rice McNamara, R Y C E H put it up here on the board and your mental board. Cause we don't have a blackboard in this classroom. No blackboards.

My dad says he doesn't want to pay for this anymore. And let's sit with that for a minute. Let's all sit with that for literally one minute. Floral, why does your dad say that? Well, my name is Emily and- Well, between these four walls well between these four walls, between these four walls, you are a flora, Aurora. Yes. I think because this is a really expensive boarding school and had a really great reputation for a really long time.

And then they decided to hire some hippies. His words, not mine, to sort of diversify the staff. And he thought this would be more down the middle education. I don't need to keep going, I could, but. Sure, well, I'm not gonna lie. Us hippies are having a moment. We are in high demand. It's been pretty nice.

So thank, we received that. So thank you. We received that. Is that true? Is that true? It is true. You did a little laugh when you said that. Like it was like a little joke. I can't believe I'm getting away with it.

For so long there was a stigma against us. Ew, smelly. Can we learn? Yes, of course. Today we'll be learning. Our minds are going to take flight. And the reason they're going to take flight is because we're going to talk about the first man powered flight. And do we know

why I say man powered granola? Can't I just be Kyle? You could be just Kyle, but did you hear your words? You said just Kyle granola is never just your words? You said just Kyle. Granola is never just granola. It's granola. Stand into your power. Do I have to stand?

Mm-hmm. Okay, uh, did you say man powered because like humans power the flight? That's right. And what had flight before man? Birds? That's right. And what had flight before man? Birds? That's right, and what had flight before birds? I feel like I shouldn't keep being right here. Dinosaurs?

Well, birds is dinosaurs, but I'm talking about our souls and love and angels. Not religious angels. What are not religious angels? Crap, open a textbook, please. Also, weren't we doing ancient Greece? Are we jumping around? We, well, this is the next,

we talked about Icarus, right? And this is the next logical step. This is the next logical step for Icarus? Close your eyes, close your eyes, and meet me in the mental playground. Let's all meet in the mental playground. Does anyone forget the directions? Do we have to?

I know the school got a big grant from Meta to use the metaverse for class, but it doesn't make any sense why we're using it. I refuse to acknowledge that these are VR machines. I am pretending that this is just in my mind. Let's all put on our closed eyes and meet in the playground. Ah, welcome students, here we are in our shared collective imagination.

I don't think you updated this. This is such a waste of resources. Now typically- We're at the Parthenons still, this is still ancient Greece. Are we? Gives a tap of the Parthenon with my hand. Wait, how do I figure out? Hold on. I need to do something. You refuse to acknowledge that these are meta quests that we're using. Oh my god, this big troller or something is wrong here.

What were you doing between classes? Why weren't you prepping for us? I had to meet up with two women. My mom and my sister. Okay, I was gonna say was that a drug deal? And now I'm definitely sure it was a drug deal. I definitely saw you reaching into a car window in the parking lot and doing a drug deal with what I assume is your mom and your sister.

Anytime I interact with anyone, it's a drug deal. Because when I'm on drugs, you're dealing with me. Wait, does that imply that you're always on drugs? Casey's typing. I legally can't answer that. The Parthenon, what do we think about when we're at the Parthenon? We think about right angles.

And when we think about right angles. She's transitioning into the right brothers. We think about the right brothers. Now we also think about the righteous brothers. Unchained Melody, when I was 14, dancing in my mom's kitchen, which of course, what? Was an outdoor shed with sand on the floor and an open roof.

This you built a meta room for? Was this your childhood home? But the Wright brothers are the wrong brothers. They stole their ideas much like, oh, who did David Bowie play? Tesla? Nikolai Tesla? Huh?

You know how Edison stole from Tesla? Why are you putting into a David Bowie music video into the VR headset right now? I can't imagine that this is relevant. David Bowie is a prophet of our time and his Bible is two words. Just dance. Everyone, repeat that back to me. Is it okay if I throw away my notebook because I've been taking notes and I think these are all useless. Yeah I'm flipping through this Icarus. Icarus was a pretty good guy. God we didn't learn anything yesterday either.

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You got jingle.com? Turnitinjingle.com is down right now. So if I trust you and I just turn this into Squarespace, they're going to say that this is a good jingle? I think so. OK. Last week, we did accidentally write The Lion Sleeps Tonight. So I just want us to be careful.

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exactly like you did it the first time. Ooh, triangles, circles, rectangles. Oh, I lost it. And it's the theme. Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee. Okay, okay, that's enough. We can't do any more of that. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash rid free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee The Wright brothers did not invent man-powered flight, okay? It was actually two sisters, Kitty and Hawk. No. Now Kitty and Hawk were identical twins. Okay, just humor her for a second. They were the Florence girls, Kitty Florence

and Hawk Florence, and one day on their way home from school, much like this school, although completely different. He's going to say Florence built a machine or something. That's where he's going with this. That's where he's going with this. See? See?

It was in the throes of the dog days of summer. This can't be. And they had just ended. And Florence built a machine. She paired her bike with a dead bird and a living dog. And when the dog ran and Florence peddled and the dead bird's feathers gave that such little necessary sprinkle of magic, Florence's bike flew.

Can I ask a question? No, you can make a statement in the form of a question. This feels like when like a basketball coach has to also be like an algebra teacher. Like we all know that they're there at the school to coach basketball and they're probably really good at that. But then they have to like, they have to have a teaching position as well. But what is the thing that you're at this school to do? Because it cannot be history. And granola incense, that is a wonderful thing to put out into the world. Do you, are you saying you would prefer to be dribbling in basketball while I talk?

She actually is a phenomenal basketball coach. The team is like eight and O I heard. No way. At our school? At our school. It's a stuffed shirt prep school. Yeah, but right now it really does feel like we're dealing with her if you know what I'm saying. Triangle offense.

It's all about triangle offense. Well. I guess no. I'm not really interested in basketball either, so I guess I'll just go back to downward dogging on my beanbag chair. This has been fun. Also very dangerous to downward dog on my beanbag chair. This has been fun. Also very dangerous to down word dogging in a beanbag chair.

All of our ankles are always rolling. Stop saying mm-hmm. You know what, we're in the metaverse. I'm an active listener. Can you play a video? Can you play a video of the first flight? I feel like I would learn more from a video. Videos to me are unnecessary unless they're David Bowie.

Just dance. Repeat it back to me. Walks over to a computer, types in helpful informative educational video about the first flight. Wait, no, don't watch that. No, it's all lies. All right, come on, bingo. I'm going to drive my bike into the sky. And my twin sister is going to meet me up there. I'm gonna drive I'm gonna drive my bike into the sky

And my twin sister is gonna meet me up there are we ready girls? Wait up, I'm going to meet you up there. Yeah But you have the flying bike Okay, well you have a bad attitude or we just take what everyone has hold on I feel like you're doing a thing where you're saying you're gonna get on the flying bike and you're just doing this thing where I'm gonna be stuck on the ground and you're gonna be able to do the first flight. Yeah? Jenny Florence, are you trying to trick me into getting into the air first? We agreed we'd do this as sisters.

Me? Trick you into getting into the air first? Because I saw the Wizard of Oz and now I'm scared of flying through the sky? Now girls, don't fight too hard. Takes a big puff of my pipe. You two play nice, but remember you have to be back by 2 p.m. which is when we eat dinner. The dead bird is alive again! He's talking to us! Squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew! Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7-day trial at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle.