Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #277: Knife Guys Finish Kill

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

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Welcome back everyone to another episode of Knife Guys Finish Kill. I'm one of your hosts, Tommy Desmol, and I am so excited for our our episode today. Just so excited to get into it, just to sort of really delve deep on serial killers, killers in general, weird incidents, anything and everything murder. But I would be remiss if I did not introduce my two co-hosts or at least have them introduce themselves. Here's one of them, Angela Vitals.

Angela Vitals, welcome. Thank you so much for popping in today. Of course. Love to be here, love to be here. Angela, anything spooky happened to you today or did you almost die on the way to the studio? I did, I fell down the stairs. That's amazing.

The top stair and I fell all the way down and I hit my head on every step. Alright, wow. Did you record it? Did anyone record it? Nope. But I'm so excited to be here and fake knives finish last. What was that? I again hit the head on every single step on the way down. Oh, and our third co-host, of course.

Of course. The Bloody Duke. The Bloody Duke himself. What's up, Duke? Just Duke, guys. Come on. Come on, Bloody Duke. Come on.

He got a nosebleed first day of recording. He's the Bloody Duke. That was like 200 episodes ago. I mean, yeah, well, okay. It felt like 195. It's it's me. It's Duke. I'm back in the studio again. Really, really excited to be talking about this with you guys kind of delving into the nitty gritty.

That's right. We are so excited. And a few points of business before we dig into it. We get our audio shovels and we dig eight feet down into murder and death and weirdness and happenings. Before we do that, we do wanna mention that we have shows sold out in Chicago at the United Center, at the Allstate Arena, at the Staples Center, we are sold out for 29th in a row.

We also have, we're doing our first year-long residency at the Hollywood Bowl in 2026. That is completely sold out. All of our merch is sold out. In 2027, we are doing a Vegas residency. They're giving us one of the Cirque at the Sphere. Imagine the visuals. It will be sickening.

And we are currently in talks. We probably shouldn't say anything about this yet. You can say. We're currently in talks to be the first podcast to do a live podcast in low Earth orbit. We will be going up on a, not even a spaceship, it's a Neuralink satellite that will be shot up into low Earth orbit.

None of us are ready. None of us are excited, but it's happening. It's happening. But we are multi-millionaires. So go ahead and head over to knifeguysfinishkill.com. That's what it is. .com. Knifeguysfinishkill.com. Knife guys, I hope big knives finish last.

Angela, you must have hit your head so hard. Knife guys, and what's my last name? Vitals. Finish kills, Angela Vitals. And Angela, I hope you prepared at least somewhat today for your very popular segment, vital signs. Of course I did.'re, I hope you prepared at least somewhat today for your very popular segment, Vital Signs. Of course I did. Okay, perfect.

And I definitely know where I am and I'm not spinning my wheels. Well, speaking of spinning our wheels, the first person that we're going to get to today that I'm so scared and excited to talk about, I have goosebumps. Look, Angela, goosebumps. Look, bloody Duke, goosebumps.

Ooh. Just Duke. Is the drive-through demon of Tucson. Now the drive-through demon of Tucson, the drive-through demon of Tucson was famously a serial killer in Tucson, Arizona from 1987 to 2023. Tucson, Arizona from 1987 to 2023. And he terrorized drive through fast food chains, um,

for years and years and years. And he would go farther than a lot of, I think, you know, traditional drive through pranks would go, you know, a lot of times people would go to the drive through. And then when you pull up at the window it's just their butt hanging out of the car. But the drive-through demon of Tucson, he would go further. He would do a fart or sometimes even a little poop out of his butt and it just made the terror that he inflicted on those drive-through employees all the more worse. Right and like sometimes when people are pranking people who work at the drive-through,

which I mean we could all agree as a society, that's a great kind of person to prank. Someone who's working that job and standing and taking your order all day, prank them. And it's a victimless crime in that the victim doesn't matter. Like people on the internet, of course, of course, will like pull up, order an ice cream, get the ice cream cone from the drive-through window, grab the ice cream and throw it in the face of the drive-through window operator. This is not what he did. He would drive up and he would say, your parents never loved you. Yeah. And they're telling everyone and then he'd zoom off.

Yeah. Which is worse than an ice cream cone to the face. And they're telling everyone, and then he'd zoom off. Yeah. Which is worse than an ice cream cone to the face. And we should say, just a reminder, if you go to knifeguysfinishkill.com, you can find photos and information and addresses of all the victims, living and dead. So just know if you wanna email them,

if you wanna save image and post and put a fun meme or something, all that information is available on knifeguysfinishkill.com. Yeah, we do, you know, we do so much work tracking down the victims of all of these crimes that it would be a shame if we didn't post that work somewhere. So people know that our podcast is actually serious. We are serious about what we do. We're serious about the research that we do, the research that goes into it.

I mean, I show up even when I've hit my head on every step. Especially. I forgot one school subject on every step on the way down. What was the top step? I felt it go, I was like, math, science, social studies, music, theater, art, typing. What was the last to go? Angela, I gotta know, what was the last to go? French. Art. Typing. What was the last to go?

Angela, I gotta know, what was the last to go? French. Yeah. And you know I have a French boyfriend. This is devastating for me. I don't know how to communicate with him anymore. Oh, Navy Pierre. Is he still in the Navy?

No, dishonorably discharged. Oh. Enough about your bedroom life, Angela. I'm sorry. I'm sorry That's a that's a bloody Duke point point point stop pointing at me just Duke just Duke yeah This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace Hey everyone before you get upset just know that Aaron Keefe has been cast as Destiny Tarot, the new American Girl doll.

We're not sure what that means, if she'll be in the movies, if she'll be packaged up herself, but we're so happy for her and the next step in her career. Yeah, it's very unclear. We all read the same email. It didn't really delineate between would this be something that is done on a you know a Hollywood set where there would be cameras or would this be done in a factory where they seal her into plastic and then use those little ties to hold her arms and neck to the box. We don't know. It's you know we all have the same information. We all have the same information and we all have the same website that we built with Squarespace. Mm-hmm. We assume you can go to Aaron's destiny dot something.

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Congratulations Aaron, we're so happy for you. Well, speaking of discharge and in the bedroom. It's not even my name. The drive-through demon of Tucson was ultimately caught because anytime he went through a McDonald's and they would ask, would you like to supersize it? Which of course famously was done pre-documentary. Anytime someone asked, would you like to supersize it? Which, of course, famously was done pre-documentary. Any time someone would ask, would you like to supersize it?

He would have his penis out and he would make himself get a boner. Which is disgusting and hilarious. We at the podcast find that absolutely hilarious. We do have, supersize my penis, t-shirts. It stopped being funny in like... 1988. Yeah. After 1988, no longer funny, but pre-1988.

I'd argue February 89. To me, it's the same. I argue never. Well, Angela, you famously just hit your head. I mean, look at you, I see stars. Women have always loved to see unsolicited penises. They loved it in the 80s. I actually think you're right that they did love that in the 80s. I think you're right.

They caught him in 2023, you said. They haven't done Super Size for like 20 years. By the way, RIP, we will be covering the whole Morgan Spurlock thing on a future episode of the podcast. Of course. You guys keep requesting it in all your comments, the Facebook group. You guys are dying to hear it. I think it was cancer, so it's hard to maybe cover on the show, but eventually we have to cover it.

We have our, what know, our sort of, what do you call it? The statement, our motto. What do I want to say? Our, what's that called? The statement or, you know, like, this is what we're about. You know, what am I trying to say? A statement, motto? A statement. Our promise. A mission statement?

Mission statement. Thank you so much. I was like, it's a place in San Antonio, mission statement, and it's a position. San Antonio mission statement. It's a position Yeah, with our missionaries inside of the burrito Our missionary position statement the very first episode and we've brought you 3,600 episodes was anything involving death funny penises or Supernatural or weirdness we cover no matter how uncomfortable it might get.

So we will be covering cancer. Which is truly, I mean, the most terrifying because it could come for any of us. Probably Earth's number one serial killer, cancer. Yeah, cancer. The biggest, history's greatest monster, cancer. Check out our history's greatest monster, cancer t-shirts, those are on, oh, they sold out.

Tommy, correct me if I'm wrong, but a lot of people got falsely accused in this case, right? They kept arresting people, bringing people in for questioning that didn't end up being the demon. Well, the demon, you know, and this is where some of my research comes into play. He did a very smart thing, which was whenever he would commit these drive-through crimes,

he would wear a clown mask, which led to the persecution of clowns in Tucson. There was a lot of circuses getting busted up at that time, a lot of clown rings, also called circuses. But I think circuses, circuses like Oreo, like it's a brand name. It's not like a cookie type. So you know, sometimes they'd be called clown rings instead of circuses. And a lot of clowns were unjustly, unjustly arrested, unjustly convicted, unjustly executed. We do have, we found some records of one clown being pulled over and then 47 clowns

being arrested that night. Yeah. From that one car. The arrest of the entire car, the entire clown car. Disgusting. Let's play that clip. Excuse me, do you know how fast you were going? Fast as fast can be.

Hunky, hunky. Okay. Sorry, was my foot too big on the gas? Hunky, hunky. What is this? Hey, my name's...my name's Dave. I'm just trying to get to a birthday party. That's not what you said. That's not what you said.

I'm trying to get to a birthday party. You started honking? You did your clown stuff at me. Excuse me, officer. His name is not Dave. It's Sprinkles the Clown. Sprinkles, you know, never the break clown K-Fame. Cartwheels? Come on, man. That's right, I'm Cartwheels. You call me Cartwheels. K-Fame is for wrestling, we're clowns. He's right. This was a test. I'm from the Clown Coalition.

You get out of the car, everybody. You're all arrested in the name of clowns. Oh man, I got priors. As you can tell from the audio, the clowns didn't take it very seriously. And they were all executed. One, two, three, four, hate Rid Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7-day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.