Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #279: Roll the Animal Dice

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

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Our first animal is swans. Mmm. I am so tired of swimming. Just my little feet just da da da da da da da da da. Peter, you look unwell. That's bad because typically, you know, I look beautiful on the surface but underneath the water My feet are going a mile a minute, but I I feel like my feathers are falling out I feel like there's bags under my eyes. I feel like my bill is

disgusting. Carl come swim over here. Peter looks like particularly bad today, right? So graceful so graceful Peter looks like particularly bad today, right? Da da da, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Oh my god! Tiffany was saying it's really bad. Tiff, what's going on? Tiff, get back away. To three swan distances from Peter. Uh, Peter, I feel like... I guess it's none of my business and we can all eat what we want to eat, which is mostly fish. And worms. You guys eat fish? Okay, I'm starting to see. Fuck!

Yes, um... Peter, I'm sorry. Yes. Peter, I notice that you, when we do lunch, you usually go over to the garbage can in the park. Yeah. Like yesterday I saw you eat a monster energy drink can. Yeah. And I'm just wondering if that's maybe the best for your insides. Um, I can't really speak to that. I haven't done the research, but I feel like, you know,

like six months ago when that kid chased me around after I hissed at him and he held me down and shoved Sour Patch Kids down my gullet. I feel like since then, I feel like my diet's been really bad. I feel like I can't, I have so much energy I have to burn if I want to fall asleep. It's just been really, I don't know I can't I have so much energy I have to burn if I want to fall asleep. It's just been really I don't know I don't know how much longer I have to live

So I've really remember that day because the parents and the park ranger thought it was Mikey who did that and then they killed Mikey in front of us. Mm-hmm for Retaliating against the boy when it was you who bit the boy. I bit the boy I'll say it. I bit the boy and Mikey bit the boy. I'll say it, I bit the boy. And then Mikey bit the dust. Tiff, can I talk to you, uh, swan over here? Whee!

La da dee dum, la da dee dum. It's like they're skating on water. Look, I didn't want to say it, but I've had this suspicion for the last six months, especially after Peter bit the boy. I think that this guy is a goose. I don't think he's a swan. What?

He's mean, he's nasty, he eats out of the trash. I think, you know how it was for the longest time, it was just me, you and Mikey? The three swans. The three swans in the park. When we swim, we say, Zadadadadadadada baby. Swan, swan.

And then one day Peter showed up and he was like, I'm a swan from another school. Yeah. And that's why I look like I'm a Canadian swan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he might be a goose. I don't know. Do we have a way of testing?

I don't know. And to be frank, I think he looks pretty bad for a goose then, too. I think he looks like a sick goose. Yeah. All right, let's go. Let's go test it. Let's go. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I'm thinking your diet is maybe so poor. What are some swan foods that you enjoy, like ideal, perfect day,

what are some swan foods that you would enjoy eating? Oh, well worms, number one with a bullet. That shouldn't be number one. That's number one is worms for you. I guess two would be- And I guess I didn't see you eat that bullet. Yeah, I was just in a real low point. Oh, so it's worms in a bullet, like a side salad.

Yeah, yes. Like the song, Worms in bullet had a fight, Worms not bullets out of sight. Huh, yeah. It's one song. Number three would be three worms, four would be four worms,

five would be five worms. Huh. Six would be another butter bar, seven would be seven worms, eight would be eight worms, nine would be nine worms five would be five worms huh six would be another butter bar seven would be seven worms eight would be eight worms that would be nine worms ten ass. Okay JPC I'm ready I bought a rocket I'm going into space to try and talk to the space angels to release Aaron back to us and I've learned as many languages as I can through babble just in

case you know the angels speak a different language. Yeah, and we don't know what Space Angel, like you know how like in Star Wars, it's just called basic, that's like, it's like, you know, it's English basically, that's what we hear. I don't know what the Space Angel basic is, right? So it's like, you gotta be prepared with Babel to learn as many, because of course,

Babel doesn't offer Space Angel, no one's ever learned it. No one's ever spoken, yet. They just found that Rosetta Stone. They just uncovered part of it. I think we're getting close, but. The best way to learn a language, immersion, which is why I'm going to space,

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a person who gave no effort before exploring their country. Locals appreciate it. Yes. Hey, space angels, como te llamas? Babbel has over 16 million subscriptions sold, plus all of Babbel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. And here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners.

Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners. Don't tell anyone. At Babbel.com slash Riddle. Get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash Riddle spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply. Okay, um... Get... Just...I want to ask you to repeat something after me. It's a common swan phrase. Swan, swan! Yep, just like that. I'd like you to say, what's that about? What's up with that? Huh.

What's up with that? No, you didn't really say about. I was really kind of looking to hear... Oh, um. Because a lot of swans pronounce about in a certain way, and I just wanted to... Okay, uh, what's that about? Hmm. Huh. Not quite...

Not quite the swan way to say it. Oh, and can I tell you, worm poutine? Mmm, mmm, mmm. Ugh, I hate this. You know what? Card's on the table. Peter, prove you're a sw swan sing your swan song mmm, okay first show you my

Prehensile penis sort of curved Right now my swan song my swan song Tom Sawyer he's a mean mean man deenu deenu deenu de you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know guitar solos. Oh, um, well that's Tom Sawyer by Rush who I think that swans, I think all swans love Rush. Rush is a Canadian rock band, is that correct? No, it's a Canadian prog band. Peter, you can't hang out with us anymore. What? Why? Because I'm dying? We think that you're a goose and we think that you came in here, you bit that kid, you got- no, Peter. You got our dear friend killed. Well, we didn't really like Mikey because all swans are kind of petty pieces of shit, so we're kind of always in c- we didn't really care so much when Mikey got killed.

Friend of me. Yeah, yeah, friend of me. We think it's time for you to go, Peter. We think it's time for you to migrate on, leave our little pond. We don't migrate, do we? Do swans migrate? I mean, we don't, we our little pond we don't migrate do you do swans swans don't migrate we I mean we don't we collectively do we don't migrate Peter you hear yourself right the jig is up no yes hang out with the other dirty bird you dirty bird what you go find a duck to suck we don't care

what you do what you do eat brunch with a pidin We don't care. Okay, you do. You know what takes ball of cotton off the top of my head. I am a goose I found a cotton ball and I thought you know what now's the time to change your fortune Now's your time to not be a goose but to be a beautiful change your fortune. Now's your time to not be a goose but to be a beautiful, elegant swan with those necks to die for. But you classist bourgeois pigs can't stand to see somebody elevate themselves, can you? Okay, Tiff, I don't know if this is a plus to you, but as soon as

he took the cotton ball off, it was like the language. I couldn't understand a word. I can't hear a word you're saying. It's saying. So, Aaron and JPC, I think it's canon now. Geese are Canadian and swans are French. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, a swan is a French bird. You know there's obviously a crossover with French-Canadian. Did you know the word swan is actually French for goose? It's the same bird, it's a different word.

Linguistics. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.