Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #282: Chatterbox 21

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

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Should we answer some questions? Oh yeah, okay. That's crazy because you said speaking of bonus scenes and I was like, oh, we're going to do scenes like we did last week? But no, it's it is questions. It's chatterbox questions. Okay. Thank goodness.

Thank goodness. And I don't want to interrupt the podcast for this, but late breaking news, it looks like President Trump was shot. No. Wow. I know that that dates the podcast for this, but late breaking news, it looks like President Trump was shot. No. Wow. I know that that dates the podcast. That was a week and a half ago. Whatever, man. Okay, let's see. It's crazy how fucking fast shit moves. We're like, that was a week and a half ago. And by the time you hear this, it was three weeks ago. Um...

Okay. Uh, these are from... Pine. What's your favorite tourist trap slash roadside attraction you've seen or visited? Hmm... Hmm... I do love... I do love the term tourist trap, just as a general term, because it implies... I mean, that's what the tourist is there for, right?

Like to a certain degree, you're there to get trapped. You're there for like a kitschy thing where you end up like, you know, paying $35 to take a cave tour where you're like, I think I was in somebody's basement for a little while. Like that's, but you know that that's why you're there. Like you're there to experience like that kind of thing. This is not something that I actually like went to and attended, because I think that again, part of the allure is like, you see them from the side

of the road and you're like, huh, weird. But when I went to the Smoky Mountains a few years ago, we were, it was in the middle of COVID. I think I only had like my first vaccine and we were driving through Dollywood, just like seeing just so many people in Dollywood. But if you drive around outside of Dollywood, not Dollywood proper, there are so many people with like homemade $15 roller coasters that are like not affiliated with the park.

And it was such a wild thing to see that, because I'm like, there is an amusement park, literally like a quarter of the mile down the road, but instead you're going to go to some guys like, hey, I have a roller coaster in my like, on my like four acre property, and I'm just going to do that. That to me is like wild. I mean, that's a blast. Yeah.

Did you ride any? No. You're a lost one, man. Fucking absolutely not. I do love roadside attractions. I love Americana. Like, I'm obsessed with that shit. I think my favorite ones,

I really enjoy like Mammoth Caves, Ruby Falls, but those are more legit, natural, not wonders, but curiosities. In terms of straight up roadside attractions, I think Blue Sky, I think it's Blue Sky, Minnesota has a giant, Jolly Green Giant. So it's just, for whatever reason, a 100 foot, and this one's probably, I don't know, 50 feet.

It better be. 100 foot Jolly Green Giant statue that you can just go get a picture with. So Gemma and I stopped by, got our pictures taken at like 5 a.m. with a statue. And then right next door is a fudge shop and they sell shirts that say I got fudged. And I think that's where the real joy of Americana,

the real joy of roadside attractions happens is when there's like, there's sort of ancillary stores or items or goings-ons near the attraction. So if it was just a Jolly Green Giant, I'd be like, pretty neat, pretty silly. But the fact that there's a fudge shop that sells shirts that say, I got fudged, which what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, right. I think that's the joy of this shit is like people swarming to this area in this spot to make their buck and just taking wild just taking wild swings at what they might sell Or what they might do a lot of the the the roller coasters near Dollywood. I'll also say there's a really cool Statue if you on the way driving to South Dakota, there's a really cool statue in the middle of nowhere

That's like a t-rex on a leash being walked by a guy. And I think that that's just one of the more delightful things I've ever seen driving around the US. That rocks. You know what I think about when I think of roadside attractions? I think about how in like 600 years when our society has crumbled or like several thousand years from now when they're like unearthing it like Pompeii, society has crumbled or like several thousand years from now when they're like unearthing it like Pompeii. Yeah. Um, how, how they're going to make sense of that. Like what was this place?

Why, why this? A giant ball of rubber bands. Yeah. Was this a, was this an idol they worshiped? Yeah, exactly. Was it, was this a God to them? Like that's the, the charm of that is I think about what people are gonna think in 2,000 years when that's unearth

Cuz they'll they'll like drive by that and they'll be like, okay It's your excellent guy like and then they'll go a little farther and be like this is just a big hole with trash Did they really just put all of their trash? They just drove all their trash out here and put in a big hole That's what they that that was the solution? For trash? They'll be like, let's give this place one more chance. And then they'll find DVD copies of the first season of Joey.

And they'll be like, what is this obnoxiously Italian character doing? This is the third day in a row that someone has brought up the TV show Joey to me. Whoa. I have no one has talked about it in 20 years to me. And then the last three days someone, a different person each day has said it.

It's in the zeitgeist, it's due. It's due for a celebration. A revamp. A revamp. It's due. It's due for a revamp. It's due to bring back Joey. Is Joey Tribbiani.

Okay, Next question. Do ba do ba do ba do ba do do do. Um, I bet we're two years away from a new friends reboot. That's like Zendaya, Austin Butler, et cetera. All right. Plus four. They can break. They each bring two friends and we got a reboot.

And they each bring two friends and we got a reboot. And they each bring two friends. Bring two friends. CellSide says, any tips on learning how to drive when you have driver's anxiety? Ooh, driver's anxiety. I guess driver's anxiety, I don't know if that is a specific term that means a specific thing. But I'm wondering in what ways that anxiety is

manifesting. I don't know that, have you ever had driving anxiety? I don't think I've ever had driving anxiety. I have. I've had it when I got, my dad gave me a, I went to visit my dad and he was like, I'll get you a car and I'm like, oh great and then he gave me his car which was a stick shift and I didn't know how to drive stick shift and I had to go home. Cause my whole, my plan the whole time was to drive back with the car. Yeah. So he's like, here's this car and it's stick shift.

I'm like, oh no. And I go, I don't know how to drive stick shift and he goes, you'll figure it out. So I had to drive a car from Ohio to, um, Chicago, right outside Chicago. Using stick shift. And it was the most, I was literally at near Indianapolis, JBC. You were probably somewhere in that area at the time. I was just like crying in traffic because I popped the... Something happened with the clutch ride.

It was just, it was very bad. That was the worst, maybe the worst day of my life. Do you remember what year this was? This would have been 20, let's see, 2004 maybe? 2005, somewhere in there. 2004, okay. I learned to drive when I was 16. So that would have been 2004-ish?

Yeah, about 2004-ish. So I would have known how to drive stick shift in 2004. And I bet if I had seen you or we had met in Indianapolis back then, I would have been like, hey, get off the road, asshole. Learn how to fucking drive, fucking moron. That's so romantic. You guys could have met way before.

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