Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #284: THE L.A.

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

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Oh man, super fun live show. Janet, thank you again for, I mean, you're the fourth host. Thank you again for doing this. That was so funny, guys. You were so physical. I know, I was not expecting to cartwheel off the stage like that, nor was I expecting to hit the piano as hard as I did. Yeah, are you okay? I don't know. I don't know. It was like the base of your spine.

I know. That hit the piano. I know. They call that the sit bones. I don't know. It was like the base of your spine That hit the piano. I know they call that the sit bones. I think I hit my sit bones sit bones Yeah, it was a real million dollar baby situation The whole audience like gasped. Yeah. Yeah, but you know when I jumped back, but you're good You guys all acted like it was a bit. I really appreciated that and thanks for carrying me off. I'm surprised you're not more winded. No, yeah, you're a, I mean, I just want to apologize on behalf of all of us because we do not know how to stabilize the spine when we carry.

So I think we did a good job, but I know that it wasn't like, it wasn't like medically perfect. No, it's- We did the best we could given the circumstances. And that's all, it's all any of us can do. And it was such a fun show. I had so much fun!

Such a fun show. Well, Janet, we head back to Chicago 8 a.m. tomorrow, 7 a.m. tomorrow, so we're gonna head out, but great to see you. Really great to see you. I mean, yeah, obviously great to see you guys, but if you're not flying till tomorrow, I mean, you don't have a red eye,

what are you guys doing tonight, Like the rest of the night? It's only whatever time it is Yeah, we don't know cuz the time difference Then I hurt my back does that affect anything no wouldn't really We should at least grab a bite you guys Are you hungry? We should at least grab a bite you guys. Wait, wait. If we do this, I have one rule.

Okay. No wives, no girlfriends, no significant others. Aaron and I consider each other our wives. Does that count? Are you significant to each other in an other in an other way? I would say in that we're wives, but in no other way then I don't think it counts. I think you're fine Okay, I don't think anyone significant other would want to come to this agree exactly And we won't and we won't even ask them. Oh

Okay, this is gonna be so nice One second, sorry, give me one second. I don't- what's up? Hey, um, Jemma, do you mind... Just... like, fuck off. Or like- oh, no, no, do you mind just like- Whaaaaat?! Jemma!

I'm- I'm sorry, that was me. I was upset on her behalf. I do this thing where I can't- I have to defend a woman's honor. It's just like, it comes from my guts. Like from my insides. Yeah, that's why you wear the gauntlets. Yeah. Okay, she's okay, she is walking away. All right, well, I'll deal with that later,

but for now, let's go get some grub. I think there's a, on the corners, like a karaoke diner or something. It's one of those diners where it's like, people sing or something. Sing while they're eating with their mouths full of food? That does sound cool. Is it the people who are eating are the ones who are singing at the karaoke diner? Or like the people who work there are like doing the karaoke for the people who are eating?

Well, we're here. We'll find out. Open the door, big bell ring. Okay, this place is... Oh, it's kind of like a fun 50s, like a pulp fiction. Hey, are you here to help? Uh, we're here to eat. Yeah, four top for four. Okay, what would you say is four top for four? Eight tops? No, there's just four of us. For how many? Wives, girlfriends, wives, girlfriends, significant others too?

Two wives, but we are the wives of each other. Okay, are you eating you eating drinking smoking? What are your plans? But if it's on the table, you know what? No, I don't I actually don't want to smoke I don't think I'll be smoking up with the meal. So I think just eating and drinking inside outside. Oh I think I'll drink right now in I'll put the drinks and food inside me. Is that what you're asking? I'll put the drinks and food inside me. Is that what you're asking? Yeah. These cats, are they indoor cats or outdoor cats? And why are there so many cats here?

These are not our cats. Is this not like a karaoke cat cafe? This isn't planned? All these cats aren't? No, the cats are not supposed to. Alright, so four top, table for four. One, two, three, four. Any kids, men, use any allergies? Aaron, do you allergic to this? I'm allergic to cats. This is stressful. I'm allergic to creed. You're allergic to, okay. Aaron is actually gluten-free. That is important to know.

I'm also gluten-free. And Janet's gluten-free and Adel and I are also gluten-free. Okay, well there is some cats on the gluten-free menu. And so if you're allergic to cats, just avoid anything with cat in it. I don't, what? I don't wanna eat you. Wait, so you're saying your solution to these-

Is bar seating okay? Unplanned cats, what? I don't wanna eat you. Wait, so you're saying this, your solution to these- Is bar seating okay? Unplanned cats, she walked away. She just walked away, are we supposed to follow her? She's putting bar stools at a booth. Oh, oh. Come on! The cats are sort of getting underneath us and we're now kind of- Oh, we're being carried by the cats.

Carried by the cats. Oh, this is magical. Still sparkling. Oh, thank you. Still sparkling after all these years. Still sparkling, bottled. I have a lot of bottled up emotions. Is that, so I'll, I guess bottled.

Are you guys comedians? One of us is, two of us are former comedians, and then a fourth one just has a really funny life. Wait guys, stop fist fighting. Argument over. I have a solution to all of our problems. What? Stop fist fighting? Okay, I guess I can stop.

I never even thought of that. We don't have to argue about what we're watching tonight anymore on the TV. I know what we're watching. What's that? Okay? Our diets? We're going to Hulu Animahem, your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows.

Oh yeah, I've heard of this. But wait, Aaron, I will not stop fighting and I will not watch what you say unless I can stream stone cold animated favorites like Family Guy, Futurama, and Bob's Burgers. So help me- Put down your fists, that's what's on there. What? Cut to JPC pulling off his fists, and setting them down, not realizing what Aaron meant. Cut back to now. Mm-hmm.

Okay, but, but, but... That's fine for me, but I know Adel's not gonna stop fighting unless he can watch his favorites like Solar Opposites, Hit Monkey, and American Dad. Take off your fists, Addle. Cut to me taking off my fists, not realizing what Aaron meant, cut back to now. Plus you can watch some of the freshest animated series around like The Great North, Grimsburg, and Crapopolis,

and so many more. Okay, now we cut back and it's Addle and I, we're like hanging out without our fists and we're trying to drink coffee and we keep reaching for the coffee cup and like bumping into the coffee cup and then like a big chicken breaks in and we start fighting the chicken and we're like rolling around with the chicken. Hey, what happened to your fists?

So if you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination you need to remember. Hulu Animahem, your animation destination, now streaming on Hulu. I'm going to kill Aaron and I'm going to be the third host of Havis Little. Oh, from Bob's Burgers. Yes. That's H. John Benjamin. Like trips constantly.

You guys probably get a lot of... Wait, is that you? You guys get a lot of comedians. Yeah, I take trips constantly. This is right by Dinosaurs. Yeah, I go to travels all the time. I'm sorry, Jayden, what did you say? Oh, no, I just...

I have that thing where I feel guilty for being on all the time. You know me, I can never turn off. Survivor's guilt. So I feel, and then when I go to a place like this and someone recognizes that, I feel like, oh, is this, I wanna blame it on, oh, it's close to Dynasty Typewriter.

I'm just one of many annoying, funny people who's. Excuse me. Hey, I'm just looking at my name tag really quick. I'm just seeing, does it say waitress or therapist? I'll be back with your drinks. She seems nice. I like her I like me. Oh Whoa, sorry down here. Excuse me. Hey, hey little guy. I'm sorry Champ little man. Oh, you're a man. Oh, I am. My name is Tom Littleman. I am so sorry

Oh, you're a man. Oh, I am. My name's Tom Littlemann. I am so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't want to bother you, but Janet Barney. I am such a big fan. Oh Thank you for knowing both my names. This guy's the size of a GI Joe. I thought for a second I I mean you rode up on a cat, but I thought I also thought it was like a GI little GI Joe someone strapped onto One of the cats. Thank you. Hi Hi, um, how wow this is I'm like like a little GI Joe, someone strapped onto one of the cats. Thank you. Hi. Hi. Wow, this is, I'm like, you are the most unique fan I think I've ever met, and that's saying a lot.

How do you, how are you? And I mean, how do you exist? Janet. Not how are you doing? You should ask a GI Joe sized man, how are you doing? You should ask a GI Joe sized man how are you? No, I'm not, no, it's okay. You keep saying GI Joe sized, but I mean it's like color and shape as well, right?

I mean, I'm not going crazy. This guy's a GI Joe. This is a GI Joe. Yeah, it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck. This is a GI Joe. It's a little man. Yeah. Would you, sorry to ask you, I don't want to bother you, would you do my podcast?

What is your podcast? It's a Janet Varney podcast. Oh, okay. It's called the Janet Varney podcast or it is a Janet Varney podcast as in the genre of Janet Varney podcast. Good question. Thank you for that. It's called the JV Club, but Club has two B's.

Two B's or not two B's? Okay, there's just a lot to process right now. First of all, if you could just settle a bet that we haven't made yet, are you or are you not an animated, somehow magic come to life GI Joe doll, or are you a human man? man and pause let's just do the bet real quick so I have $500 on magic come to life GI Joe that's my position

I'm gonna say it's a cat in a man GI Joe costume for five also for 500 okay I'm gonna say that it's a Ken doll that's a little bit melted but same kind of principles magical come to life okay I. I got five out of five on it. OK, so your only differentiation between my bet and your bet is the kin doll with a little bit of melt on it. Yeah, is that OK? That's fine with me, yeah.

That's how millionaires are made. Adam? It seems harder to hit. I'm going to go, I know I do this too often. I'm going to say tube sock full of Nickelodeon gack. It's going to be right at some point. Yeah, it's got to hit. It's got to hit.

And it's 500 all day. Tom, Tom Littleman, you said your name was? Gack. What are you? A podcaster. OK. And I appreciate that you want to beat podcast forward. But are you, what's how, like, medically and genetically?

Medically and genetically. Are you a doll? A magic doll, or do you have- What's your M&G? No, Janet, I'm- Yeah. I got the salmon steak. Who had the salmon steak? I didn't, I don't think we even ordered yet. I don't think we did a trinket or anything.

Oh, the cat's ordered for us. Caesar salad with more. With more? Mm-hmm, with more than usual. Is it double Caesar salad? Yeah. It's like a double. I gotta start ordering that way.

Yeah, can I get a shot of bourbon with more? Yeah, so double shot of bourbon. Oh no. No. I don't know if it's always double. Sometimes more might be one more crouton. Yeah, I guess it's, I think everything we're gonna get is just for the table, we're gonna do tapas style.

Okay, great, tapas style. We're not a tapas restaurant, we're a restaurant. Yeah, but you can't stop us from eating tapas style, right? Or family style. Some people just say family style, if that's gonna, does that make it easier for you? I mean, look at the sign. This is not, this place is not for families.

Oh. It says style, our style, not family. We're a found family, but we're gonna eat family style, but we're not a family. Like none of us are related. When you hear you a found family, but we're gonna eat family style, but we're not a family. None of us are related. Yeah, I Thought there was also singing here. Is there like there is okay. Do you sing? Okay, the lights just a spotlight hit her I hope she eventually answers our question.