Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #285: The Real Housewives of Riddle City

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You know, JPC, you've been sort of a strong naysayer. I'm flipping through my notes about Hey Riddle Riddle over the years. Of reality TV, you're making fun of it. Yep. You're making fun of Mariah when she's watching it. For sure. You're making fun of me when I bring it up on the show. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Why the sudden change of heart? You know, I think that really what it was is that no reality television show has ever interested me in the way that this one does. And I know when I first heard that they're going to do a new franchise of The Real Housewives, I was like, look, I've seen, unfortunately, I've seen a bunch of Real Housewives, but only in that state of like when you're half paying attention to something because it's like playing in your house, but you're not like actively watching it That's how I've consumed it all and none of it has interested me Atlanta. Okay. I've been there a couple of times. It's a fine city Potomac don't even know where that is. Couldn't pick couldn't pick it on a map
Starting point is 00:01:01 New York City Pu stinky garbage all the streets pizza rats. No, P.U., stinky garbage all the streets. Pizza rats, no thanks. No thanks. But then when I heard about this new franchise, I was like, that speaks to me in a way that I absolutely have to find. But I was curious, what's your guys experience
Starting point is 00:01:18 with The Real Housewives? I've never seen a single episode. I feel like I've maybe seen clips back when Talk Soup was a thing. Okay. Remember Talk Soup? Yeah. Is that still a thing? It couldn't possibly be.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Was it with Joel McHale? When I watched it, it was Greg Kinnear. Wow. Then it was, I want to say, John Henson, or sorry, Hal Sparks. Then there's a guy named John Henson John Henson with like a little bit of gray in his hair. Like a little Patrick.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Oh also, Adil, you got a little bit of soup on your beard, grandpa. Sorry. Wait a second. Was Joel McHale ever talk soup? Joel McHale was talk soup. Okay. And then I think after him it was one other person
Starting point is 00:02:01 and then it maybe went the way of the dodo. But I remember seeing clips on there and being like, what is going on with the flipping of tables and the screaming of women? But I guess it had legs. And GBC for me, I've seen five to six different seasons over the years. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Not always 100% sure what city, what's going on. So I've watched a couple of seasons of Salt Lake City. I used to watch Orange County, a little bit of Beverly Hills, and then I watched the old New York. I think I've actually I'm counting now. Maybe it's more like eight to nine seasons. And then I watched the reboot season of New York recently. That's the most recent one is they recast
Starting point is 00:02:45 all of the New York housewives to be young fresh faces. Thank God. Yeah. Erin, this is a legit question. For the real housewives of Salt Lake City, were any of them married to the same man? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:59 But wasn't one person like married to their step-grandpa? Yes. No. Yes. Sorry, I pushed Attgrandpa? Yes. No. Yes. Sorry, I pushed Attle down a hole. No. Yeah, that one, I will say, was a messy, messy, messy, messy, mess.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Obviously, that was a genius idea because they're all Mormon, but they all are drinking on the show. Yeah. And Salt Lake City culture is just crazy anyway in terms of the vanity and the upkeep that they're like the amount of plastic surgery these women are getting. And that was the show that one of them was stealing from old people and ended up going
Starting point is 00:03:31 to jail. Yeah. I remember watching that one in the house and learning a lot about that because of how much of how much drama there was as that was like unfolding in real time on the show. And I'm like, if you are going if if you are, A, stealing money from old people, you really don't want that to be on television. And B, you really don't want like, there to be a bunch of evidence of it
Starting point is 00:03:52 for when that trial comes up that they've like filmed you doing this shit. Oh, Casey said, that's the only one I've watched any of. What do you think Casey, 10 out of 10? That sounds like the best one. A lot of people watch that one. Yeah, it is. Well, I also thought, Casey says 11 out of 10. I also. That sounds like the best one. A lot of people watch that one. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Well, I also thought, in case it says 11 out of 10, I also thought that that was the best one, but then I got Over the Wire, I mean, and this is possibly even breaking news for people that are listening. You got Over the Wire? That there is a new series, a new location of The Real Housewives, and they are finally doing
Starting point is 00:04:24 A Real Housewives of Riddle City. Shut up. No, I swear, Aaron, this is true, I swear. How much are we getting for that? Good cue. How much money are we getting for that? I think it's kind of one of those things where, and I don't know how this works,
Starting point is 00:04:39 but it might be in the public domain now, because we haven't touched that idea for like three, four years. So. Shit. Has it really been four years since we've been back to the, I think it might be. Well, okay, two things I'd like to say.
Starting point is 00:04:55 One, currently writing a musical that's been taking years and years to take place there. Those don't sort of happen overnight, you know? I also don't think that they. They aren't in there any time. They don't count work that you're like doing, they count work that is really- They should!
Starting point is 00:05:09 They should, yeah. But also, it's just, this is interesting because like, so there's a new show, sorry, I'm just doing the math, from a fictional city that we created, and now it's in the public domain, so people can do, it's like, great Gatsby. So people are, Riddle City IP
Starting point is 00:05:24 is just gonna be popping up everywhere. Well, yeah, hey, here's what we could do, let's's people going to do it. It's a great gap to be. So people at Riddle City IP is just going to be popping up everywhere. Well, yeah. Hey, here's what we could do. Let's not think too hard about it. Oh, OK. I love when we do that. Oh, god, guys, I love when we do that. Do you guys just want to?
Starting point is 00:05:34 And again, I rented this spooky house, and I invited you both over here. Do you guys want to just watch an episode? Yeah, when Erin pushed me down that well, and I went, whoa, there was a VHS tape at the bottom of it that says Real Housewives of Riddle City. So that must be the pilot Uh, yeah, I guess so. I mean I was gonna watch the one that I DVR'd but let's do the VHS from the well It's so funny when we try to chant together because we're all in a delay, it's Zoom. No, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:06:07 I was trying to chant after you guys. Shut up. Zip. AddleJPC, this is my first time listening to Hey Riddleriddle and it is exciting. This is fun, I'm having fun. Oh, it feels like you should have listened to it for the edits and whatnot.
Starting point is 00:06:24 But Aaron, if you're listening to this show, there's a pretty decent chance you like riddles, escape rooms, crosswords, word puzzles. Yeah. For Erin, I don't think necessarily, but yeah, but for other people, sure. Yeah, well, if that even describes you just a little bit, you should check out this podcast,
Starting point is 00:06:41 We Love the Puzzler with AJ Jacobs. And actually I do love AJ Jacobs. And actually I do love AJ Jacobs. Know it all is one of my favorite books of the last 30 years. Check it out. The puzzler is hosted by best-selling author AJ Jacobs. He gives fun audio-friendly puzzles to celebrity guests and the listeners get to play along. Sort of like Wurdle for your ears. Wurdle's already for my ears the way that I play it. I use my ears. This might interest you.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Guests on the puzzler have included Dax Shepard, Jeopardy host Ken Jennings, and Neil Patrick Harris. And Neil Patrick Harris calls the puzzler delightful. Ooh. The show combines comedy and puzzles, so it's sort of a cousin to our show, and they've got dozens of original types of puzzles. They've got this one type of puzzle called Earbusses
Starting point is 00:07:29 that is like an audio rebus, rebus being one of my favorite types of puzzles and monkeys, and one of my favorite macotires. So the host AJ will say a word in a certain style or accent, and it's a clue to a two word phrase. So if he said, for example, Erin, are you listening? I am. if he said, for example, Erin, are you listening? I am. If he said,
Starting point is 00:07:46 Tide, then the answer is rising tide. Or if he says, banana, no, he's not a minion, that's banana split. Banana. Oh, oh my God, I'd love that. Get it?
Starting point is 00:08:01 It's a ton of fun. I did just Google him and it does appear that he is a minion. So I don't know that it's, I don't know. Get it? It's a ton of fun. I did just Google him and it does appear that he is a minion. So I don't know that it's, I don't know that that is also him being a minion, but it does look like, hold on, no, you know what I Googled? I Googled minions. So maybe I'm just.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Well, AJ is a minion to one. It's a ton of fun. That's great. Thank you. The podcast is a ton of fun. It'll tickle your brain. So check out the Webby nominated podcast from I heart, the puzzler with a J Jacobs can't recommend this enough.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah. And also while you're at it, just image search minions. Look at these guys are so freaking cute. Coming up on this episode of Real Housewives of Riddle City. I wanted to ask you a question. Did you get Cleary's French Fries' birthday? Birthday? And I'm doing Big Quote's birthday invitation? Oh my god, it was obnoxious.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Yeah. Delivered on a 20x40 poster board in a limousine. Oh interesting. Yours was delivered on a 20 by 40 poster board in a limousine? Yeah, limousine had one of those sunroofs and it drove by my house honking. Somebody put the poster board through the sunroof, held it out while they honked, and I just had to get all the information in one fell swoop as it went by. I feel like I remember it. I keep saying it over over my head like a driver like a license plate when a crime happens. Why is it Chauncey that my husband can have dalliances, can have affairs to
Starting point is 00:09:58 his heart's content but if he catches me even one time with one of my mini butlers, I suddenly get financially ruined? That's the patriarchy at work, ma'am. Nothing Chauncey can do about that. Don't suck up to me by saying patriarchy, Chauncey. Girls rule, boys drool, ma'am. Alright, Chauncey, tell me about some of these outfits that we have to try on today. Well, we have the emerald dress made of emeralds, of course. Theresa? Mmm?
Starting point is 00:10:32 I know you're really disappointed you didn't get an invite to Clarice's birthday party, but I would like to invite you as my plus one and then she'll be sorry. Mmm, I love that. I love that for us. And I don't know if I've told you this, but I'm making it my whole personality. My name is Teresa Fillimore, but I am the daughter of President Millard Fillmore. Pfft, I was frozen for 100 years.
Starting point is 00:10:58 And to throw people off the scent, I added an A to my last name, Fillimore, so people didn't realize I was the frozen daughter of former President Millard Philmore. More champagne? We have some bad news. Oh, God. We have not received all of the RSVPs from the core group.
Starting point is 00:11:19 What do you mean? Well, the cutoff date was two days ago. And we are still technically missing RSVPs from Maria CVS, Jessica diamonds, Misty pips, Callipy, Clementine and Teresa Fillmore, even though Teresa Fillmore was not invited. Oh, what is that? fingers your dress? touches your dress? What are you fingering my dress? Teresa? Are you a ghost? What are you doing? What is that? A touch is your dress. What is that? Why are you fingering my dress? Theresa, are you a ghost? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:11:48 What is that? Um, cashmere? I'm Clarice French Fries and I don't need a GPS to find the drama. I'm Maria CVS and I'm always fully stocked on cold medicine. My name's Kaliope Clementine. When I'm with these bitches I'm at the circus. Hi my name is Misty Pibbs. My hobbies include drinking wine, starting sentences, and that's it. I'm Jessica Diamonds. They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I don't have friends. I just have more diamonds.
Starting point is 00:12:31 My name is Teresa Fillimore, and sometimes I vacation in the Poconos, but around here, it's more like slap these hoes. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.

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