Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #298: Hotel Hot Tub

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

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And then I said to him, I said write down a number on a piece of paper and slide it across the table to me. You didn't. I did. You didn't. I did. Todd, you didn't. He slides the paper.

I don't even peek at it. I rip it in half and I go done deal. Todd's move. Yep. Whoa. Do you know what eventually what it said on the paper or it was 17 million So we did we did exceed our budget but in future dealings, I feel like I have the upper hand now So yeah, I feel good. I feel good. Okay, that was the last one. No more work stories

No more work talk. No more work. Talk fellas. Yes. This is our first time sort of hanging out outside the office. Yeah. The convention ends at five. Now we're just three guys enjoying a soak... in a hot tub at the hotel, okay? Three guys seeing each other's nipples for the first time ever. Huh? Well, actually, Tommy, take off your tie. You're hiding them. Oh. Uh...

Yeah, how do you have your tie covering both nipples, too? Yeah, what's going on? It feels like it's got like a Dilbert curve to it. Yeah, how do you have your tie cut in both nipples too? Yeah, what's going on? It feels like it's got like a Dilbert curve to it. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have brought attention to nipples when I didn't really want you guys looking at mine. I have a very specific tattoo and I don't know, I worked in an office with you guys, I was kind of scared. It's okay that we're all talking about nipples, right? Cause I know we did that HR training, but it's like, we're all-

We're all in a hot tub. It's that- We're all in a hot tub and we're all- Through you guys soaking- We're off the clock. Guys, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not like we're like-

Yeah, it's not like we're objectifying anyone's nipples or anything like that. No, no. We're just merely commenting that we all have them. And I've never felt self-conscious about my nipples before, but I am just putting this out there.

You guys have much different nipples than I thought you might have. Well you can't see mine yet. Well judging by what you're hiding I can tell that the shape, you know I can't see them but the way that you're hiding them I can get a sense for them. You know what I'm hiding them because of the tattoo I have on them. It's not the weird shape. They don't have a weird shape. I feel like they sense for them. You know what I'm hiding them because of the tattoo I have on them. It's not the weird shape. They don't have a weird shape. I feel like they're pretty normal. I didn't say weird.

And if I did, I apologize. I mean, pepperoni-esque is an adjective. Todd, this feels like a real glasshouse situation coming from you. I'm so sorry. Obviously, with your nipples, this is kind of an insane thing for you to be talking about anyone's nipples. Sorry. Hey, Andy, Todd, when I brought up that our nipples were all very different, I didn't want to put a judgment on it. I had just never really thought about my nipples before that I saw your guises, and now I'm kind of thinking like, could you- Oh wow, they're all different!

Peter, could you sort of bring attention to what maybe makes us the same rather than making everyone feel sort of self-conscious and othered by their nipples well first I want to take ownership of sorry my I guess weird nipples yes my are the exact same colors the rest of my skin there is no difference of coloration okay and yes they're shaped like tostino's pizza rolls. Tostino's? Totino's. Totino's? To-see-to's. To-dee-to's. To-dee-to's. To-dee-to's. Okay, can I... I'm sorry if I did the whole weird thing. Um... Andy? Todd? I'll tell you something that I've never told anybody. Peter? I had mine done.

Excuse me? That's very clear. These are not well I just so everyone's on the same page I want to be open and honest these are not my birth nipples so anything that you're judging me on aesthetically or comparing yourself to I Made a choice a couple of years ago. I Was going in for some other stuff the doctor said hey by the way If while we're there. Wow, you got a you know.

Yeah, it was basically a little add on nipple lift. Yeah, and I basically did it so insurance would cover it because it was like they wouldn't cover it just as an elective. But since it was with a package kind of deal with my body. I don't really want to pass any judgment. Like, I'm a firm believer that we're only on earth for a short time Everyone can do whatever they want with their avatar change your body. However, you feel your way. Hold wait what so Avatar wait. So that too is I can see blue

Hold on Now hold on. So I'm just saying everyone can do anything they want with their avatar But it does seem like Peter you have gotten an extraordinary amount of work done. You got your eyes done, nose, looks like butt, ears, chin... My eyes do not look like butt. Oh, no, you're saying that it looks like I got my butt done. It looks like you got all those things done that I just did, and I just was... that seems like the tip of the iceberg. You look like Squidward in that one episode. Yes you do. I don't know if it's true for well I should look like Squidward in all the

episodes because I've been trying to go for a whole Squidward vibe. True for you because you know obviously Andy I see that you have a tattoo but like it's rare that you see a person with one tattoo, right? Like, you know, sometimes you get a tattoo and it makes you kind of breaks the damn and you want to get more That's kind of like me and plastic surgery. I got my nipple tattoos. I got one and I got the other Yeah, exactly. So you get it so I got my nipples done and then I kind of started thinking about all the other things that could get done and then you know, obviously like

My uncle died and we came into a little bit of money and I had disposable cash to burn and we're like you know we're you know what is it what's what's the the terminology well not rich but we're comfortable to to income no kid what it's like a dink oh double income no kid thank you we're so- And your wife really has a Squidward thing. Now she does. She's getting one more and more. I had to work with her a little bit for that. Whoa, you had that, you were hoping that would become a required,

like an acquired taste for her? No. I said required. That was a bit of a Freudian slip. She sort of needs to, needs to be into Squidward sexually now it seems. No, no, I don't think so. I don't think so because I am still me, but it was one of those things that I was happy

with the way that it turned out because it turned, because I took a chance, I took a real gamble. I was thinking more about what would make me feel sexy and less about what would make her feel sexy about me. Does that, you know, I didn't do it for her, I did it for me and it turns out it was a turn on for both of us so it's like, yeah. Yeah.

That's cool. Todd, what are you drinking? What, what is that? Yeah, so this, do you know, are you familiar with Mike's Hard Lemonade? Uh, yeah, of course. I am, yeah. That's not what that is.

No, no, well, I'm trying to, I'm trying to set the table. I'm trying to table set to brace everyone for what I am drinking. Mm-hmm. Okay. So this is Mike's Hard- You keep dipping it. You keep dipping it into the hot water. Yes, it's Mike's hard root beer float. Now this is a canned root beer float. It is ice cream but it's freeze-dried like the astronauts eat.

So what you have to do is you have to introduce water to it every 10 seconds or else it re-solidifies the ice cream. So I just have to kind of keep getting it wet because the root beer, for whatever reason, the root beer doesn't interact with the chemicals in the freeze dried ice cream. Can I, and I think you probably already know this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, certainly not. No. Um, you know, that hot tub full water has like a ton of chlorine chemicals, like it's safe enough probably to get like a little bit

of it in your mouth, but to drink it, pretty dangerous. If it's already going up my butt and in my pee hole, it's fine going in my mouth. I don't know this. Your pee hole and butt are that gaping that that much water is going up. Getting up.

Well, speaking of, hey, if we're gonna body shame, let's see those Navi nipples, huh? Hey Navi nips hey Feliz Navi nips. Hey, sorry that movie hit some people Harder than others. Okay. I thought the acting was gorgeous in the original avatar I thought the acting was out of this world. I hated the movie. Hated the vibe of the movie. Loved the acting. What, what?

Can we just see him? I mean, at this point, the hiding them thing, we all know that they're Navi nipples. Can we just see him? You guys, yes, but it's not just the Navi nipples. That part is pretty mild. It's what's written under them. Uh-oh.

Okay, I should just rub off the bandaid and tell you. I've been dreading this all weekend. Okay, so. The bandaid? Yeah, there's a bandaid covering. Oh, the tie's kind of stuck onto the nipples with double-sided band-aids. Yes, and you know what? I sort of had to, I don't need to explain myself.

You guys, remember when we went to that convention in Vegas and it was such a good time? Oh, yeah. Such a good time. The hot tub at that Hilton was off the chain. Well, after that convention, so embarrassing, I went out into the street, I was drinking a big margarita and I ran into that naked cowboy

and he sold me some drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in Vegas now. I feel like they have one everywhere. Yeah. I don't know if it's the same guy, but I feel like, where was I? I was in Nashville. Oh.

Like two months ago when they had a Naked Cowboy. He's not supposed to be there. Yeah, that's what I said. I said, you're not supposed to be there. And he booked it. I mean, he took off running. So it's like in and outs where it's like, they're spreading, but there's some states where it's like,

you can't have it in and out. Yeah, because they can't locally source enough Naked Cow could cowboy I guess long story short. I did drugs I On the drug trip dreamed Hallucinated however you want to put it that the three of us were on a weekend bender together Turns out was not you guys, but I ended up getting your names tattooed under my nipples during that Peter What? But I ended up getting your names tattooed under my nipples during that vendor. Oh, Peter. What?

This was sort of a strike three for my wife. Um, so... Oh, I hope I'm Sam Wellington? Sam... Wellington? Jake Soley. Jake... No. Pfft. I want to say Sam Wellington?

So that's curtains on my wife. Oh my God. Oh no. It's fine, it's good. It's actually good. Was that a bit of Navi language? What was that that you should say? Yeah, sorry, when I get upset, I use it to sort of self soothe.

What the fuck? Oh, oh, oh, oh. A tail? What? Peter, you have a tail? I connect it to trees when I need to. You know what, guys, if we're not going to have fun in the hot tub,

then I think I'll just probably go to the hotel bar or whatever. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free sevenday trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.