Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #300: Chatterbox 23 w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

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Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Erin. You're looking at me expect, expectingly. I thought maybe it could be for me, but maybe it's a hey, riddle riddles, Klu Kru. Um, Erin, it's actually Hey, riddle riddles, Patreon, try centennial.

300. 300 years. 300 years. Right, it feels like we've been, am I wrong? Is it 285, 290? No, we've been doing this Patreon for 300 years. Feels like it. 300 years. Of course we do one episode a year, so carry the one. This must be episode 300.

And we are joined by our fourth host, our most important host, Janet Barney. Hello, Janet. Hello. Happy 300th, everyone. Tell the people with your eyes. And she actually takes a Doctor Who blanket. As Janet was talking, she did take a blanket off

of the chair behind her, and I truly thought there was going to be, like, it felt like there was a magician's reveal. It looked like she took a silk out of her ear. And I was about to reveal that I was sitting on a statue of the three of you. What? Yeah, no, I just realized that this blanket is hanging here

because it is very cold in the room that I'm in right now, and I didn't think to do anything to heat it up. So I'm going to shiver like a little grandma. Does that mean it's cold in L.A. or do you just happen to be cold in this room? It's I don't think it's particularly cold outside. I think it just is we're getting into the nights where it goes down into like the 40s.

So and then this room sort of traps that and keeps it. Who the 40s L.A LA's winter time is upon us. I know We're powered go down to the 40s. I was thinking sir Hand me the Tommy gun Nights from the 40s like I'm a knight but I'm in the 40s, but the Tommy guns not the Ford The 40s that's a scribbling this down in a notebook. What are you doing? What is this for?

I can get this! Oh, I don't know. What is this for? Give me another shot, take me back, Heather! Now, Erin. Yes. Unless I misheard you, did you ask Janet to tell us something, to share something with us?

I just thought, I really called out the elephant in the room, I can't not talk about it. Yeah. Janet, something happened. What, you talking about my zombie ghoul eye? Yes. Yeah, guys, I have a cold. I'm not exactly sure what foul deed caused this.

I certainly must have done it to myself, whether it was sneezing or scratching my eye, like rubbing my eye too hard when I was like half asleep, but I definitely woke up with like, I guess it feels like it must be more than one broken blood vessel in my eye, because the entire inner half of my right eye is full of blood.

Shock. Now this isn't blood that's going anywhere. It has to be, and I looked this up on the internet, so it has to be true, look this up on the internet so it has to be true. Reabsorbed into my eye. Reabsorbed and I'm not gonna be crying tears of blood which would be super cool. Yes I'm not in any religious statue but like a religious statue in a Madonna video I have blood in my eye. Is it possible Janet that one of your blood vessels broke

and then the other ones that were next to it were like, oh, I guess, are we all supposed to be doing this? And some of them did, and the other ones were like, I don't think we are. And then they're like, well, now we're broke, so maybe your eye is just a follower. It's just on this side of my iris, so it really is like a sea dividing two people,

or on the other side of the river, they believe something different. I have a question for you, Janet, because occasionally you will send us pictures of you at like a convention with someone who is a Hey Riddle, Riddle listener, and you'll, or wearing Hey Riddle, Riddle merch or something like that,

and you go to a lot of conventions. Do you have a thing that you do when you're going to conventions to like not get sick? Because anytime I travel to anywhere conventions to like not get sick? Because anytime I travel to anywhere for anything, I get sick. I think that's kind of the thing that happens with travel. But do you have like a precautionary routine that you do or anything? Well, great question. I mean, I would say I very often wear a mask on a plane. I copiously

use hand sanitizer. I try to wash my hands all the time. As far as like trying to build up some sort of immunity or something like that, I mean, I just have like a regular kind of immunity supplement that I take every day anyway. And I think I slipped into that false sense of the what? Is Janet saying like I more than she would say I?

I was panicked that I would do that. I'm glad that she's doing it. Yeah. And so, and of course I like to think of the people who attend the conventions as my pupils. So I like to teach them a little something every time. And your favorite Third Eye Biden song is? A kid that's a goo goo doll song.

It's just a Goo Goo Doll song. Oh, I know. I know who sings Iris. I'm asking your who her favorite Goo Goo Goo Goo for Third Eye Biden song is. For Third Eye Biden song is, yeah, okay. What is it, Jumper? It's a different joke. You see, it's a different equally important joke.

It's gonna be Jumper. Probably Jumper. Yeah, but I had COVID like a couple months ago, and I think I fell into that, like I'm impervious to everything for a few months. Yeah, yeah. And then it turns out reminder, I've also had the flu and strep throat this year, having not had either of those things since I was a child.

So I think that's just the post COVID, like our immune systems are still bananas. In your defense, every single person I know in LA right now has a cold. Thank you. Everyone. And I didn't feel attacked until you said in my defense and now I feel attacked. Yeah, it's kind of a weird... There's a thing in LA where if the weather dips below 70 degrees, everyone's like, oh,

I have a cold. Hold on, hold on. The perfect weather is gone. No, don't turn this into... There's plenty of hail and hearty people, some say too many here in Los Angeles. They can fight it. but yeah, we all, and I'm sorry that you're sick, Erin, and I very much hope that you don't have a blood eye

the next time I see you. I hope I do, because I'm trying to be just like my hero, Janet Barney. No, now kids out there are gonna watch Cora and give themselves a blood eye. Don't do it, don't do it, kids. A blood eye. Oh, brother, I'm sorry that that happened

Thanks. I mean Again can hardly see it It's like when a pirate lifts up their eye patch and it's just like an empty socket God it's just like that you guys. Oh God, it's just like that. You guys, I'll be honest with you. I decorated for Christmas on November 6th. Wow. It's the earliest I've ever decorated for Christmas.

It was a reaction to whatever. Three weeks before Thanksgiving? Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna say something happened in our country that inspired me to just fucking try to feel some sort of sense of comfort and joy The woman who's claimed its Christmas for the past four years That's right, Dan. I'm coming to you live from somewhere and around Los Angeles, California California. It'll be connected to nothing, microphone connected to nothing. This will be my last day as a reporter as I don't know where I am and it's not that

interesting of a story so it's been great serving you community. The people who spoke in this local interest piece is no longer necessary. If there was a person from 2024 to like 2028, I guess it would be like January of 2029, who just woke up every day was like today's Christmas Going about my day making Christmas cookies. It's Christmas. I think that'd be newsworthy I'm trying to live that life. I'm I'm two and a half years away from that being me pal But I watched because I my place feels like Christmas and I'm just leaning in on Saturday. I watched Klaus the net oh I'm just leaning in. On Saturday I watched Klaus, the Netflix Christmas movie. Oh great movie, yeah, Jason Schwartzman I think.

I watch it every year and again I watched it and again I sobbed. So if anyone's looking for, oh my gosh, Dan. It's like the post office one, right? I thought you were gonna say it was new but then you said I watch it every year. It's like maybe four years old, maybe older than that. It's very, very good, yeah.

I'm gonna write you down. Obviously you guys know how I feel about the Muppets, so Muppet Christmas Carol is still my favorite Christmas movie of all time, but I think this is my second favorite. Wow, okay, I'm getting right on this. I mean, I'll watch it when it's reasonable, as opposed to Christmas.

I'm not crazy. I'm just kidding, I'll watch it right away. Erin, I've heard this little rumor, and I don't know if this is true. That out of all the Dickens adaptations of A Christmas Carol, Sure. the one with the most, like, actual text from the source material is Muppet's Christmas Carol.

You're kidding. That's what I've heard. Is that true? That's a rumor I've heard. I don't know if it's correct, but... You can't ask if it's true. He said it was a rumor. Is it a true rumor? But is it true? I felt like your voice broke a little bit

when you said it and that made me distrust that I thought you were gonna turn out to be kidding, but if that's a rumor you heard, it must be true. Let's go around the horse. So of course, as it gets into winter, especially in LA and it gets a little colder, our teeth are chattering. And while our teeth are chattering, we might as well, especially in LA, and it gets a little colder, our teeth are chattering. And while our teeth are chattering,

we might as well, something, something, Boxing Day, it's a chatterbox. Chatter Boxing Day, Chatter Boxing Day. One, two, three, four, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle.