Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #306: Farside Improv

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

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So in preparation for this, you can't find a ton of them online. So I called my father and I said, can you take some pictures of your Far Side book and send me some that you enjoy? So these are all vetted by my dad. Wow. So not only are we doing Far Side cartoons, but we're doing your dad's favorite Far Side cartoons. Yeah, ones that he made him chuckle.

Got it. Or he decided would make for good scenes. Gary Larson, king of the chuckle. So this first one I've just sent to you. Oh, by the way, have your phones or your text. Scott Adams. Scott, yes. Yeah.

Okay, you're texting us these. Are we gonna describe them for the listener? I think so. And then if someone has a scene idea, you can go into into it immediately we see cows. This is I did that on purpose This is nighttime on a farm. Presumably. We're inside the interior of a living room An old couple sitting in one seat facing another Couch with two cows one of the cows is up on the coffee table kind of dancing with a beverage Alcoholic beverage in it's a cows both have alcoholic beverages. It looks like that's fair

And once dancing on a coffee table, the other ones just staring at their partner and the caption says satisfied I warned you not to invite the cows in for a few drinks Now this one this and it says up at the top it says September 17th 1982 Satisfied I warned you not to invite the cows in for a few drinks What does this one? What do we what are we doing here? What this one? Oh, yeah, boy I was only three months old when this is made, but I guess I'll have to explain this I was a twinkle in my dad's penis. I don't know

Deep sea you with the phrase, till the cows come home? Uh-huh. Now the cows are in their home, right? And they're drunk. Yeah. So, do you know what rum is? Till the cows come home.

Have you heard of cow rum? Cow rumming? So I, where does the phrase till the cows come home? Let's just do a scene, he's not gonna get it. Okay. So I, where does the phrase, till the cows come home? What is that? Let's just do a scene, he's not gonna get there. Let's just do a scene, he's not gonna get there. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna make a new animal.

Okay, this is God, and I'm gonna make a pig, take 10. God, God, God, God, sorry. I don't wanna embarrass you in front of everyone, but do you maybe wanna like? It's just animals right now. I know, but do you maybe wanna sober up before you create more animals? No, I'm gonna take another stab at a pig.

This is pig take 10. Okay, hold on, God, hold on. Here is a big cup of electrolytes. I just, the last few things you set down. Electrolytes? This is Gatorade, just call it Gatorade. We're not gonna get in trouble. We might.

No. We technically have a sponsorship with Powerade and you're not supposed to be drinking Gatorade, just call it Gatorade. We're not gonna get in trouble. Oh, we might. No. We technically have a sponsorship with Powerade and you're not supposed to be drinking Gatorade. What? You made a puffer fish and I was silent. You made an angler fish with a light bulb coming out of its head, God. I made a blowjob fish and I made a flashlight fish.

You gave them other names. Puffer fish, angler fish. Puffer fish are supposed to be blow chop fish. They're sharp, God. God. What can I say? God. God. What?

What? Carol, what? Remember when you made a sheep? Why did I make an ex-wife? Why was the first thing I made an ex-wife? Oh, please. The first thing you made was a wife and then the first mistake you made.

We cut away to a far side image of a cartoon, and it's a horse standing next to a zebra, and they're both in a field, and then the caption at the bottom is the zebra saying, "'Technically, I'm a blowjob horse.'" Ha ha ha ha. Back to the god scene. Remember when you made a sheep, and you made kittens?

That was such a fun afternoon. You were sober, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I think I really like the animals you make when you're sober. I mean, the ones you make when you're drunk are good for a laugh, but they're not good for you. Double shark. Oh no. Double shark. Oh, you want a drink called the double shark. Thank God. Yeah

Double shark why don't God computer? Why don't you? Why don't you take I'm gonna sober up and then Carol you make something you make Whatever you whatever you think a pig should be and don't and you can take inspiration from my first nine attempts if you want great Great, okay, so I'm thinking it's like. No, no, you go sober up. You go sober up. Well, I just want to, I want input. I want my fingerprint to still be on it. So I'm thinking like pink.

Yeah, I'll do pink. I'll do pink. I'll do pink. And stanky. Pink and stanky. That's amazing, God. That's so good. I do what I drink called a pink and stank. Let's think. Okay, let's see. White and black, way bigger than a pig, can eat it like a pig, but it's more of a hamburger, not a hot dog. Instead of oink, backspace on oink, they say,

that's something funny, Carol, Moo, moo, they say moo. Moo. The opposite of my spiritual mantra? Ohm, yes, I guess that's where I heard it recently. That is funny. And enter, and here's your first cow. Mo. Hello, cow, welcome to Earth.

What's this guy? Hey, buddy. Mo. Mo to Earth. What's this guy? Hey, buddy. Mo. Mo. Fantastic. Question. Oh, yes. Why am I only attracted to pigs? Who's gonna tell him? That'll cause some issues. Did someone not change something

fundamental about me that kind of only one of- Kicks butt, shoves him down Earth's slide. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaa a

a a a a a a a Let's invent edits. Perfect. Does anyone want to do any more drunk cow scenes? Do you guys think this one's funny? The cow one? No, I think it's just okay. Okay.

Um, but I would like to actually see another scene. GBC, you're a cow and I'm milking you, but I've noticed that you're drunk. Keep it together. Keep it together. A couple more minutes, just keep it together. Hey, how's my favorite cow? Huh? You're not milking me? Oh no, I'm gonna milk ya. Okay. I'm here to milk ya. I may have already started a little bit. Oh, you don't look so good. Are you feeling okay? I may have already started milking. If there's milk on the floor, it's because I thought you were there and I just kinda started milking. What?

You can't milk yourself. What were you using to milk you? No, I wasn't milking myself. I was just kind of milking. Oh, God. It's not supposed to come out on its own. I think... Well, I'm feeling pretty loose today. I'm feeling pretty good. It reeks in here. Oh

Smells like cigarette smoke too. Oh smells like like cheap tequila sodas Cheap to go so this is the word cheap Grab the bucket start looking you. Oh my god. It's most oh my god I feel like I'm like on the floor of a bar, this smells so bad. It's like sticky beer smell. Did you go? First of all enough of the judgment, you know, if I was milking you I wouldn't comment about how bad it smells.

Stop talking about milking me. You talking about milking me? Don't make it seem like I can't. Well, you know, we're fine. You're a cow. Okay, some things that we say are hurtful. If I go down to the bar, will there be photo booth photos of you on the wall? Did you play pool? Which bar? The green door. Yep, yes.

Guess there will be. But if you're going down there, take me! I love it there! If you're going down there, please take me, I love it there! You're huge and you break all the glasses! And you beat everyone at pool and they get pissed and they're humiliated that a cow beat them at pool. Yeah, I'm a little bit of a shark-

cow shark. Okay, well, I can't milk- this is unusable milk. What, I'm gonna make drunk cheese? Um, what? Hold on. Lock the door. Go lock the door.

Okay, I'm locking it. I'm locking it. Shut the windows, don't you? Yeah. What is it, drunk cheese? Yeah. Okay. That's a million dollar idea.

Okay. Cheese that makes you drunk, right? Am I crazy? Yeah, so I was thinking cheese that makes you drunk. That's a million dollar idea. Yeah, but I don't really want to split a million dollars. I think I'll have a burger tonight. Same. No, I'm comfortable.

Half a million. So pretty good. Guys, I'm eating cheese right now while drinking a beer. Oh wow! Whoa. Drunk cheese. Oh my goodness. Are you in Wisconsin? What's going on? Breakfast of champions.

It's dinner time. It's 3 PM. I just wanted people to think for a second we were recording in the morning and you were drinking that. Adel's having one of his famous 9 AM beers. 9 AM is way too early for Adel to be up. 9 AM cheese, 9 AM cheese, 9 AM cheese. Adel waking up, waking up, setting an alarm, waking up,

drinking a beer, then going back to sleep for three hours. I'm waking up. I'm eating cheese and beer. Welcome to Adel's life. Mariah did text me the other day when the baby got up. Mariah just texted me, I'm waking up. And I was on a walk with spaghetti at the time. And I texted her back just full, all caps,

welcome to the new age. And then when I got home, I was like, hey, I didn't even get a ha-ha react. I didn't even get an LOL. I didn't even get a laugh. And react. I didn't get like I didn't even get an LOL I didn't even get a laugh and she was like I was waking up Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com slash. Hey riddle riddle