Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #314: We Broke the Internet

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

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Is this a main feed? It's Patreon. Patreon. We're going to do a state series if that's okay, but hold on. My internet is acting a little strange. Okay. Just so it's not when you have it. Wait.

Oh, your internet's acting strange, so it's acting completely normal like internet is supposed to act? Whoa. Damn. All right. Well, actually, Casey, can you- Erin, your recording's still fine though, right? like internet is supposed to act. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Damn. All right, well actually, Casey can you- Erin, your recording's still fine though, right?

Yeah, my recording's still fine. Can I screen share with you? Cause my screen is starting to like do this like warped thing. Okay, yeah. It's like starting to spin, yeah. Warped? Good Charlotte, nine inch nails.

The misfits. The used. The N2WK. That's weird. What? I've never seen that before. What, Alan, I were saying? No, what you guys were saying was actually

awesome and cool. We love silver chair, Casey. Erin, are you sure your computer's behaving all right? Yeah, it was acting normal like a minute ago, and then I logged on and then- Normal. So normal for Aaron, so it was fucked up and crazy? You already made this joke, JPC.

Did I? Yeah. So it will be like, it started as this little sort of whirlpool in the middle of my screen, and it's getting bigger, so I just don't know. Should I restart or? You said a whirlpool? I don't know what I said

Are you feeling like any sort of and I'm not trying to do a bit Are you feeling like a gravitational pull from the whirlpool? Yeah, I feel like sort of I'm falling forward into it It's like okay. I just saw your mouse cursor got sucked into the hole. That's not good in the center of your screen What wait wait hold on what the fuck is happening? I mean look at the screens here What? Wait, wait, hold on. What the fuck is happening? Whoa. What is it? Is this a premise? I mean look at the screens here, BBC World! Whoa! Oh, oh, oh, shit.

Whoa! BUBBLING Holy shit! Erin just got sucked into the internet? Erin just got sucked into her internet. Convenient excuse. LAUGHTER Adol? Yeah.

There's only one thing we have to do. We have to go in after us. Casey, you're our lifeline. When we hit, I don't know, 50 minutes, pull us out! Alright. Tie this rope around your waist. Alright, and... I forgot to tether it to something else! Okay, Casey, so now it's a two person rescue mission.

Addle? I gotta get Addle out, and I also have to get that rope, because that's an expensive rope. I guess three-person, I'll do Aaron. Aaron will be the third, if I have time. All right, Casey, I'm going in. Internet helmet, goggles on, Tron motorcycle.

Casey, don't touch my Tron motorcycle while I'm gone. I know you wanna ride that thing. I know you wanna ride that thing, motherfucker. I'm going after my friends. Pull out when we get what do we think? 48 ish minutes from now Yeah, yeah 45 and it might be one of those things where it's like it's like 45 for you But like for us it like feels like yeah, you know way longer long time one Yeah, okay, and do you check the odometer on your motorcycle by the way your trauma? Yeah. Yeah It's like one of the only things I do check entire Yeah. Okay. And do you check the odometer on your motorcycle, by the way, your Tron?

Yeah. Yeah. It's like one of the only things I do check entire pressure. Okay. Cool. Yeah. I'll have to do a Ferris Bueller. All right. Bye. All right. See you, man. Welcome! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 001 Oh, Erin, I just hit the G on the Google so hard in my head. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ooh, oh, oh, Erin, I landed right on you.

Ow, ow. Oh, sorry, I'll move, I'll move. Oh, you brought the rope, the super expensive rope. Uh, yeah, and it's gonna save us. Are we on top of the Google homepage? Raindrops on kittens and puppies and prizes. Mm-hmm, drifting down on an umbrella. Do-do-do-do.

GBC is floating down to the Google logo on an umbrella. See me at an umbrella. Oh, he landed so hard, though. Why float down on an umbrella if you're going to land so hard on your ankles? That's fun. It just happened to be having fun, me being a goof. You guys, we just got sucked into the internet I think. Wow.

Oh boy. Wait, did I get sucked in and you guys came down to save me? Blink blink blink blink. Yes, Rope. I mean, Erin. Okay, uh, that's really sweet guys. That actually means a lot to me that you came down here. Yeah, I think we're absolutely here to save you, but I've never been sucked into the internet before,

so maybe we just go into this Google search bar, which is a little below us here. Let me just get down to the box and maybe I'll just type in home, H-O-M-E, and I hit enter and whoa, okay, a lot of results flying by us here. Zillow, ooh. Wizard of Oz, okay.

You have to type minus AI, or you're just gonna get all the AI spam at it as well. Okay. I actually don't think that works anymore. I also saw that if you put fucking in every search result, they won't put AI in there because the AI can't fuck. Great tip, JPT. It makes the AI scared.

I don't know if it's true. I haven't Googled something since I heard that. It's been a couple of days. Okay, actually, let me just sort of slip into this Zilla website. Welcome. You guys, come here. Okay. Oh, hey.

Oh, whoa. Whoa, what the hell? This is gorgeous property. Is this an old high school? Yeah, this is an old high school. What if we turned it into like a cool millennial apartment? Yeah, $119,000 Munster, Indiana. What could go wrong?

I'm guessing the electric and the water and the heating. And the location. I'm sure it's all up to, all of the stuff the location. I'm sure it's all up to snuff. Yeah, I'm sure it's fine. Yeah, the location is just listed as wrong. Ooh, what about this house? This place is a big mansion on a hill. $300,000 for this.

I mean, that's still pricey, but pretty reasonable for five bedrooms. Wait. Yeah, I guess a hill, it pretty reasonable for five bedrooms. Wait. Yeah, I guess a hill, it's hard to get up and down. Yeah, is it a paved hill? No. Where's the hill? I guess my first question's gotta be where's the hill. This is what they don't tell you

when you're on these home search websites, is that a lot of times they'll put a home on here, they'll go home on a hill, that's fine, and then you'll like look and you'll be like, okay, that's not a hill, that's a mountain. That's fine. And then you'll like look and you'll be like, okay, that's not a hill. That's a mountain. That is at least a mountain. Guys, I'm in the house and there's blood on the wall.

Oh, that's why it's so cheap. Murder, a murder happened. While we don't know it's a murder, the house could bleed? No, that's not good. That's not better. It's my favorite Dean Koont good. That's not better. It's my favorite Dean Koontz.

It's not better. It's not worse. GBC, read me the stats. Read me the stats of the house. Okay, it said, well, this is interesting. And you said that this was a five bedroom? Five bedroom. Oh, you know what, Erin? I think what you were reading was bathroom. this was a five bedroom? Five bedroom. Oh, you know what, Erin?

I think what you were reading was bathroom. It's a five bathroom. No bedroom? No, it says it's a, it's got a half bed. I've never seen a half bedroom. I don't know, what would that be? Like a Murphy bed? Is it a half bed or half bedroom?

Cause a Murphy bed's like a half bed. It says five bathrooms, half bedroom. Okay, I'm seeing it and it seems like a monster sort of tore one of the bedrooms apart. Got it. Yeah. Something bad happened here, you guys. Okay, and I've never seen this listed, but maybe this is a typo, but it says it's a Guts rehab?

I don't know what that means. Usually they say gut. They say gut, like to gut out, but like guts makes me think. Okay, let me type in back to the search bar URL here. Put in guts, enter. Oh, whoa! Welcome.

Holy shit, the three of us are on Nickelodeon guts. Wow! The 1990s game show. Fun! Addle, wait, you're using the Wayback Machine. This is, this is, this is a archived web page. This isn't even a current web page. Whoa, at some point I need to visit my old GeoCities

web page from when I was a freshman in high school. Can we just skip my live journal if we find it? Can we just skip over it? No, we're going to have to figure out how to get into those things. Those things sound fun to be in. Well, this website kind of makes me feel nauseous. It's so archaic and rudimentary.

Like it's sort of like glitching a lot. I think we gotta crawl out of here. What? No, no, no, guys, guys, guys, don't look now. Don't make any sudden moves, but I believe, I believe that is the aggro crag. I want a piece of it. I want a piece of aggro crag.

The aggro crag coming over to us. Okay, be cool, be cool, be cool. When I was a kid, all I wanted was a piece of the aggro, Craig. Hey, Craig, hey, hi, hi. Hey, what's up? Not much, how are you, sir? Sir? Come on.

Sir's my dad's name. I never had cable, but my friends know who you are, and that's cool. We're from the future, and we can- Oh, shit. We could buy you on eBay, I know you don't know what that is. We can buy you on eBay for probably 50 bucks nowadays, I think.

50 bucks? That's like 200 bucks. Well, yeah, I guess now it is. But yeah, yeah. I don't know what now is. I'm the aggro crack. How is the British lady who is kind of a referee or something? Oh, Adel, don't ask the aggro-crack about that. I think that they had a pretty nasty breakup. Whoa, but maybe not yet. Right? No, we're still good.

Oh, aggro-crack, we're sorry about that. Yeah, we're deeply... Sorry about what? We're deeply in love. Yeah, um, well... Guys, should we tell them about 9-11? No, right? No. Hold on, hold on, hold on. hold on, hold on, hold on.

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