Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #315: Calling All Heroes!

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

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Okay, setting up the camera here, pressing play. Oh, it's already recording. Test, test. Hello. Hello. Hello. This is the superhero known as Light Knight. Light Knight. This is Light Knight. Okay. Wearing my full suit of armor, of course produce the power of light. And today we are recording auditions. Auditions for other superheroes. First, I'm joined by my teammates Madam mind Sorry, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. All right. Sorry, I'm madam mind Psychic ability can read minds just heard something that kind of hurt my feelings had to excuse myself one second. I'm actually okay

Did someone say something or something? Someone says something in their mind about me. I'm actually okay. I'm actually fine. Oh, did someone say something or? Someone said something in their mind about me. I'm actually okay. I'm here, I'm here. Yeah, sort of witchy costume. That doesn't look cheap. That actually looks nice. I didn't say that. You did, you did.

You did say it. Where is? He didn't say it. He may have been thinking it, but he didn't say it. Okay, and running out the trio, it is Big Boot. Big Boot, please. Okay, just for audio sake, go ahead and say your name and what you're wearing.

Big Boot, kind of wearing my standard hero costume plus my size, 42 boots. Which is my standard costume. I've got big boots. He wants us to know he has big boots. He's really, I can hear his mind. He's like kind of insecure. Well, my name's Big Boot.

I mean, of course I want people to know about big. Hey, and Madam Mind, can we agree not to do the mind reading thing on the two of us? I mean, we're on your team. You're sort of insecure about the size of stuff. Well, I know I made you cry. I know I made you cry earlier. Okay, I guess everyone knows true things now.

This is fine. We've audited these before, guys. This is fine. We can all get along for an afternoon. I love it here. This is great. We can all get along for an afternoon. I love it here. This is great. We can all get along for an afternoon. We're going to have some people auditioning. Of course we lost several members.

So we're trying to bolster the ranks. Test, test, test, test. Wait, did you say killed or lost? What did I say? They died. Yeah, they died. Okay, I just wanted to make sure that we all agreed. I thought we were all agreeing

that we're gonna say lost, right? Lost. Let me. I think you said lost but I'm Gonna make sure we say it right. Yeah, so my helmet visor fell down. Okay. All right, so test test test. This is auditions for the super superhero group towel, of course towel is an acronym for the order who eventually loses. We're a superhero team where a prophecy was once told that we will lose and we have to just have it play out.

Yeah. Light, are you okay? You could take off your suit of armor if you want. You're sweating bullets under there. It is. It looks hot. Especially with my light ability, to combine light, the power of light, and night spelled with a K,

my costume choice was so stupid. Why didn't you pick something else? I don't know, night, I just felt like it rhymes. Is the light, does the light generate heat? That's what I've never understood. It does. All light does. Interesting.

Why can't I feel it? Cause my, cause it's all self-contained. You know how it works? It's radiating in the suit. Did you say self-contained? I thought it. You guys, let's just get to lunch, okay? Okay, let's get to lunch. I think we need to set some ground rules with the three of us,

and I think that we need to agree that there's only three left. We're now kind of the de facto leaders of towel. We need to start working together a little better. I wish it hadn't been the awkward threesome three. Famous head of threesome sort of itch. Now I'm hearing you guys think about it and it's worse than... Well can I just say? Then I'll just say. Then I'll just say. Great.

It wasn't supposed to be a threesome It was you weren't supposed to be there Yeah, you got your foot in the door. No, it was I know it's your catchphrase. I got my foot in the door Either one of you could have said no, thank you This doesn't mean I was interested. I was interested. Well, I just didn't want to be rude because, you know, and I offered and it was half a joke. Okay, okay.

The three of us, we had a threesome, we slept in the next day and we missed a battle and everyone else died, okay? Everyone else died. And Madeline was auditioned. It was lost, it was lost. Was lost, everyone else was lost. Everyone else was lost, it was lost.

And now. I think it's so funny to say we folded you in like he was an ingredient in, you know, making a cake. Yes. Yeah, we folded him in. Okay? We folded him in. Okay.

Okay, sorry. Sorry. Okay, just so you know. We lost everyone. And literally, we literally, he folded between the two of us. Yeah. We s'more him. Wow.

Not really s'mored. I mean, you know what they say about Big Boot. Small penis. Whoa. Well, you said it in your head. You finished it in your head. Yeah, you left your boots on. I left on my suit of armor. It was a rough session of sex.

Yeah, it was a rough sesh. I read in your minds that you both faked it. No. Yes, I did. And it hurt my feelings. You both faked it. No. Yes I did and it hurt my feelings. You both faked finishing. You know what? I wish Goldeneye was still alive

because he was the one that could stop you from reading our minds. I wish he lived. I'm sorry, did I say Goldeneye? I meant Pierce Brosnan. I wish Pierce Brosnan were still alive. I honestly wish he hadn't died in the big battle. Lost, was lost. Well, I think his son is coming in later today to audition so you're still alive. I honestly wish he hadn't died in the big battle. Lost was lost.

Well, I think his son is coming in later today to audition. So you're very lucky. Okay. Oh, and everyone's probably waiting in the wings. Silent Shadow, thank you for doing sort of a crossover. I know you're with a different team, Silent Shadow, but thank you for helping with auditions. Go ahead and bring in the first.

Shh. Sorry, are you shushing me, Silent Shadow, but thank you for helping with auditions. Go ahead and bring in the first... Sorry, are you shushing me, Silent Shadow? Or is that how you... That must be how Silent Shadow communicates. Go ahead and bring in the first auditioner for Towel. Okay, great. First up is Captain Obvious. Let's see, you want to come on in? Just right up there on the stage. Okay, anywhere or any? Find the light, find your light.

Find my light. That light night is shining, yeah. I would say like middle of the stage. Middle of the stage, sure. Middle of the stage, okay, well, let's just say I usually don't have any trouble finding what I'm looking for. Okay, you're sort of in the wings still.

Come on. We can't see you. Do you understand, Captain Obvious, that we can't see you from where you're standing? You need to come into the middle of the stage where the light is. Yep. And just tell us, yeah, your superhero name, your real identity, and then your powers. And if you're willing to shave. Well, my superhero name kind of goes without saying. KSC.

Yeah, at first I thought it would be like you're constantly pointing out the obvious, but it feels... Actually, I'm pretty confused about what your thing is, Captain Obvious. Oh, me. Because it seems like the spotlight shining in the center stage, it seems like it would be common sense to just walk into that, like it's directing you. I mean, I wanna say it seems like it would be

obvious, right? Am I going crazy here? No, you're right, Big Bo. You're right. Well, let's just say that if I wanted to be in the center stage, I would be. Okay, this feels like he should be like Sergeant Sarcasm or something.

Yeah, it wasn't even Sarcasm even. It's like- It's intentionally misleading, right? Does he think he's being obvious? Let's ask. I don't- Hey, sir, do he think he's being obvious? Let's ask. I don't. Hey, sir, do you think you're being obvious? Captain obvious, big wink. Okay. Oh, send in big wink.

Yeah, next, let's send in big wink, please. Next, thank you. Hold on, hold on. We'll be in touch. Captain obvious? You rang? What's one plus one? What's one plus one? What's one plus one? Holy shit. Holy shit.

Can you use it in a sentence? Okay, you guys, I'm actually seeing on his resume that his brain did get scrambled by the scrambler in the last battle. I think he did have a pretty down the middle super power before and this is just. Thank you so much for coming in buddy. Thank you. Thank you Captain Obvious. And we'll call you and that should be obvious

that you're not cast. Yeah, I mean obviously like if he's gonna get, if he's gonna get ruined by kind of like a low rent bill like the scrambler, like come on. He just said yes like he got it. The scrambler does door dash. I can see the Captain Obvious calling his mom from the wings saying like he got it. The scrambler does door dash. I can see the Captain Obvious calling his mom from the wings saying that he got it.

Yes! I'm going to be on towel. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Good boy. That's rough. 1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now

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