Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #338: Podcast Access w/ Alice Stanley Jr.

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

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GBC, we're going back. Oh, it's up to me. Yay. Hey, Aaron? Yeah. What about my friend Aaron? I don't. I'll do one.

Don't make me sing. I'll do one later. I'm much too busy. She's pointing to her shortly. Don't make me dance, darling. She's pointing to her short length. You wouldn't like the way I dance. Your first option.

Please clap, a podcast for failing magicians. Okay. Oh, thank God I was going to say. Jeb Bush. Live from the parking lot. lot behind Denny's, and your neighbor's yard reviewed. Okay, we'll do live from the parking lot behind Denny's? Yep.

Live from the parking lot behind Denny's. Great, whenever you're ready. Hey, everybody. It's Jeff. We are live from the parking lot behind Denny's. Technically, the parking lot behind Chili's as well. Chili's and Denny's share a parking. lot. They don't share a dumpster. Chilis doesn't have a dumpster anymore because they

couldn't use it responsibly. And so now it's gone. I kind of set up this podcast because Dan, my direct manager, told me to come out here and make sure the Chili's guys went throwing trash in the Denny's dumpster and because I can't be around customers because I get too mad. So, so far, you know, the pot, really I really don't even need to do the podcast. I just have to Stop the Chili's guys from using the Denny's dumpster. But, oh, Brittany. Brittany, Brittany. What's up?

Hey, are you on break? No, I'm just throwing out some of the pancake trash. Oh, cool, cool. Brittany's one of our best servers. Yeah. Are you killing it in there? Yeah, I'm doing okay. A lot of people are...

Talk to Dan for me. I don't think so. See if he wants me back in there. I'm talking to a lot of customers, and they were kind of scared to... Some of the customers mentioned me? Well, yeah, they wanted to take their orders to go, and then I let them... Fuck, I hate that. I hate that. Eat it dinnies. If you're going to eat it dinnies. Fuck.

No, but they're eating there now because I let them know that you're no longer a server. Good. No. Yeah. Good. Yeah. No. Yeah. Dan's right. Do you need a coat? What's that? Do you need a coat? It's snowing out of it. Yeah. Well, Dan, give me my coat back. Oh, he took away your coat privileges. Well, it's because I keep fireworks in there. Excuse me. It's hard to pull up right on top. Do you know where Hillhurst and Jackson is? What? The restaurants? That looks like a Chili's employee wearing.

a fake mustache. Do not fall for it, dude. Hey man, I don't know what any of that stuff that you said is. He's trying to throw trash away. He's wearing a disguise. Are you trying to throw trash away? Are you trying to throw trash away? Yes. Get the fuck out of here, man. Get the fuck out of here. This is for Denny's only.

I'm going to go back inside. Cool, cool. I'll see you when I'm out here for my smoke, maybe. Yeah, like, yeah, for sure, for sure if you want to come out and smoke or whatever. And I have weed. I'm already gone. Yeah, you're gone. Cool. All right, man. And, well, you know, hey, pretty successful show tonight. I scared one guy away.

He was definitely secret working for Chili's. I wasn't scared. Probably made a little progress in kind of getting Dan to invite me back in. At least I have an ally on the inside now. Oh, Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany.

Yeah, what's up? Cool. Hey. Britney B. Yeah, Britney B. Oh, you're bartending tonight, right? Yeah, what's up? Cool.

Yeah, no. Yeah. Sorry, was there a question or what? How is it in there? Is it, it looks slammed? I mean, the parking lot's full. Is it slammed? Are you slammed?

It's rocking because you're out here, my bro. Cool, yeah. Have you guys talked about me or anything? Or is Dan want me back or anything like that? What do you think the answer is, sweet pee? Shit, Brittany, I don't know. You tell me straight. Like, I could take it.

Like, if Dan doesn't want me. Can you? I don't know, like, maybe soften it a little. All right, babe. Melt it like butter or something. Like, don't. Honey bun, you need a life. Holy shit.

Honey bun, you need a life bad. Yeah, no, you're cool. You've been chilling out here for a little bit too long to be dead assy with you. I came out here to film a TikTok, saw you're a sad ass turned right around. Cool, no, no, no. Chill, chill, chill.

Yeah, it sounds like you're super busy, so I'll let you get back to it. I'm gonna pop right back to it, but you just let me know if you need some hard truth, okay, my man? Yeah, I actually don't need any of that. Because you know where you can find me behind the bar. Yeah, I can't go in there, so...

Everyone comes to the door. Britney's putting him in this fucking place. Everyone comes to the door. No, me and Bernie a cooler. You guys, stop. Do not crowd around the door. This is not something we do for entertainment or fun This is something we do for the empathy of a human being

Who's crashing out in front of us Dude, you guys have to stop doing that Customers can't crap around That's a fire hazard safety hazard We can lose points You know what else is a safety hazard Fireworks in a coat Who said that? Was that fucking Dan?

Dan if it was I apologize I apologize if I did that I apologize to do that Because for I shouldn't do it Do you have any hobbies Um like being at the Chili's is like I mean at the Denny's And, like, getting the guys who do the Chili's trash is, like, a huge hobby of mine.

And, like, getting back from bands. Hello, I'm just a regular person here to throw something in your garbage. Be about your business, sir. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm just... Wait a second. Wait a second. You're eating Chili's. You work at Chili's. I know you. You work at Chili's. Oh, my God, you do. I've seen you before. Okay, if I catch a guy...

Dan said if I catch a guy who works at Chili's putting trash in the bin, I can make him eat the trash. Everybody look, now he's got somebody who's Mrs. Doubt firing in a headlock. What is this? Triple dippers? You have to eat all these triple dippers. Don't mind if I do. Whoa, actually, these triple dippers smell pretty good. You can't eat our food, man. What if I worked at Chili's? You wouldn't fit in at Chili's.

All we do is set off fireworks and yell at customers. No, please. That's like my dream job. Brittany, do you think Dan will let me go? Sweet peer. Dan will be more than happy to let you go Okay I'm using my one a night Send Dan out

I have something to say to Dan Please send him out Brittany I'm using my one Last time I did this for you I really regretted it I know I've only been on for 15 minutes tonight But please this is my one Send Dan out I'm ready to quit

I am gonna send Dan out here But if you don't quit I swear to God I swear to God I'm gonna be back here tomorrow saying even more true stuff to you. And this time I'm going to include your love life and your personal hygiene. No, it's okay. Hey, Brittany, this is awesome. Like, you're like a true friend.

And I hope that we, even when I go to Chili's, I hope that we can kind of stay, you know, friends. You know what? We're gonna. Damn, Brittany's awesome. All right, I'm getting Dan. She's the coolest person that Denny is besides Dan. Hey, champ. What can I do for you?

Dan? Yep. I've only ever wanted to make you proud. Okay. And that's why this baby bird Has to spread his wings And tonight has to be my last night at Denny's Because I'm going to work with this gentleman

Who is tossing the Chili's trash And the Denny's trash bin I'm going to work at Chili's Okay I need my coat I need my fireworks I need my first and last month's room Hey sorry can we wrap this up

I just got a call that Daphne and Banana are going to be coming to the restaurant So I need to set aside a table I need my job back I have to meet Definitely Bina You got to be You guys, I'm very attached to Daphne and Banana.

And I actually do think we should do a full episode of Daphne and Banana. I'm really attached to that poor man. Yeah. There's something kind of sweet about him. I don't know. Wait, hold on. GPC was playing himself, right? No.

I love where your head's at, but this character actually yelled at customers and GPC yells at wait a bit. So it's kind of like a bizarreo GPC. One, two, three, four. Hey, Riddle. Riddles Clue Crew Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial

at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.