Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #339: I've Got a Silver Sausage!

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

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Good morning, JBC and Aaron. Good morning. At mischievous. Mr. Adol. I feel like he has a tone of authority that he doesn't usually have. Oh, would you say that? Have a seat.

Oh, okay. This is very formal. It's been over 1,660 days since we've done something on this podcast. Do you two know what that is? Wait, how many days? Gotten along? What? 1,000 something?

1,660 days. 1,600? I think so. Hold on. Lots of sixes in that. Three, six, nine. Is that five years? I don't think we've done one of these since January 23rd, 2021.

Oh, my God. I think. Oh, my God. From by a quick flash research, as they say in the industry, flash research. Addle, done one of what? Done one of what? Done one of what, Adel. grabs collar.

Done one of what. At all. At all. Oh, you should buy that dog collar. It's beautiful. Oh, thank you. Since we've done a Disney twins. When we last left Deborah and Danny.

It's locked. Runs to the window. They're locked. No. No. Move. Move. Get her.

Get her. Get her. Put her in one of those clockwork orange machines. You know, the clockwork orange machine. Hold your eyes open, make you watch movies. Put me back in my comfort clockwork orange machines. I have social anxiety and I have to sit in my clockwork

I'm a moog? What are they moogs? Mm-hmm. Yeah, moogs, they're moogs. Well, you're not moogs, you're Danny and Debra Disney. When we last left Danny and Debra Disney, what do you think they were doing?

I'll give you 10 seconds to get us. I want to say kissing. Was it? You're close. We were on, they were, we were on Apathy Avenue, right? You were on Apathy Avenue. I was going to say Animal Crossing.

Well, I think Animal Crossing, you died, went to heaven, and then Apathy Avenue, you came back to life for a mission. At the end of Apathy Avenue, I believe you were in purgatory. You were sort of granted a wish to become something. Do you, too, remember what you chose to become? Dude, this happened four years ago. No, you're right to ask me, because normally I remember bullshit like this. Aaron, would you believe that Deborah, we last saw Deborah turning herself into a pizza?

Okay, I don't remember that. J.B.C., would you believe that Danny, when we last saw him, was turned into a Joseph A. Banks store. That sounds correct? That sounds like a COVID madness. Is this like a Wonder Twins thing that they had? Like, form of Joseph Bank store, a form of pizza? No. That delivery of no was so fucking funny.

Nah. Nah. So. Eh. Nah. We cut to a, I don't know, like a back alley in Minneapolis, I guess. Where we see a... Back alley in Minneapolis.

His heart is in this. A soiled pizza and a shuttered Joseph A. Bank's store. And I just want the two of you to sort of just have a little scene to catch up after four years of the two of you living in sort of squalor. Well, Deborah, that didn't work out. Danny. Well, it went well for like three years. But we're not showing that part, are we? It only recently got bad.

I don't know, Deborah. It was always kind of bad for me. I just don't think I'm cut out to be a Jose Bank suit store, and I'm not 100% sure any of them are still in business anymore. But people just kept taking the suits. I think that's part of what is supposed to happen, Danny. I think they're supposed to leave money or something. Oh, yeah, that is a big part of it.

But I got to be inside you for some of it. That wasn't so bad. Yeah, I did have to kick that guy out for eating a pizza at a suit store. But I guess I couldn't make him leave because I was just kind of this disembodied voice coming out of a suit store. I wonder if the parts of the suits that people took were part of me. Oh, yeah. As you talk, you get this sort of warm sensation of familiarity. Oh, I'm peeing.

Oh, sorry. No, the HVAC guy is just draining the fluid in the back there. Oh, thank God. The two of you get sort of a warm feeling of reconnection and how things used to be. Aaron, go ahead and give a role of your D20. Deborah has, of course, a proclivity for musicality, if it ever comes in handy. Out of the gate of 20. 20, perfect.

So, Aaron, you were an absolutely disgusting pizza. I mean, can you imagine leaving a pizza out on a street for four years? That's what you looked like. With a D20, you hear a popping sound. suddenly you look down and where there once was sort of browned cheese is now your hand and skin. Unless it was a McDonald pizza because then it would look exactly the same. Oh, I miss those pizzas. McDonald's had pizzas?

You guys might have been too young. McDonald's used to have pizza and it was fucking delicious. Wait, is this real? No way. They had personal, they only served like four-slice little pizzas. Oh, like personal pan pizzas like that? Oh, yeah. Okay.

They did exist. They did exist They do exist This was probably late 80s, early 90s I remember when Wendy's had fried chicken Excuse me what Maybe it's just one Wendy's that I went to as a child Wendy's used to have like

Solariums in the back Like these beautiful glass Salariums That orb that Saran uses What am I thinking of? You can't use that Because Sard will see you use the Solarium

So, Aaron, you are, where you were once sort of disgusting, slimy pepperoni and all this stuff, you are now fully, wholly back to Aaron Keith. Sorry, back to Deborah Disney. 100%. Yeah, I went to Aaron Keith and now I'm going to melt back to Deborah. You did that, like, Matrix thing where, like, Mr. Smith's face comes out of all, like, sides and then it went back into Deborah. Danny, I'm a person again.

Hold on. I'm covering sauce. Stop a suit store still. JPC, please roll for Danny. Okay, roll for Danny. 12. 12, great. So you also feel this warm sensation

sort of flood your body, and you feel the existence of limbs. You definitely have two up top, two at the bottom. As you look down, they are not exactly how you remember. Some sort of look like clothing racks, so it's

like a metal. It's like a metal pole And it feels like you're wearing several layers Almost like Chandler In that one episode of Friends Where he wears No sorry, that's Joey wears everything Chandler wears So scrap that analogy

Could I be any more Joey wears What'd you have? So you are mostly Danny Disney But there are some parts of you That are a holdover from the Joseph A. Bakes schooler Oh man, Deborah, I think it mattered That people took the suits

Oh no But Danny we done didn't We're back to what we did before. Wait, does that mean, does that mean purgatory is over? I don't know. Let's go on a new adventure, you and I. What was that that you just did? And as you lead in for a second kiss.

You can't reject, you cannot leave me alone in that. That's the meanest thing ever. That is being abandoned on my birthday level mean. I just don't remember. I'm still half a suit. store that is sort of booking a week long cruise together and then one of you backs out that is and i'm on the boat for one of you to be like we're we don't kiss anymore that was never a thing that is jpc that is brutal that's not like i got invited to the movies by people in my class and

i went to the movies and saw the movie and they're like we changed your mind and went to a different movie like that level of like absolutely cut down you guys talking Aaron stay in it what is you guys talking about As Danny and Deborah lean in for a... My new favorite they used to tell Aaron to stay in it. Stay in it. Stay in it. Stay in it.

As Danny and Deborah lean in for a possible second kiss, you both close your eyes and you hear a pop. You wake up and you're both in the same bed together. It doesn't feel like a night's passage of time has went by. It feels like it was just a millisecond. But you are in the same bed together, but Danny's feet are up by Deborah's head and Deborah's head is down by Danny's feet, almost like a, well, some might call it like a 69 position. But you were both seemingly asleep. You're in pajamas.

And as you wake up, you look around and there's another couple next to you in bed, sort of sleeping head to foot. As a young boy enters the room, his name is Chuck Fuckett. We know his name is Chuck Fucket. He's a name tag on? Well, I just said it. I said his name is Chuck Fuckett. Who are you? And I guess by hearing it, I'm sort of an omniscient voice.

Okay. Okay, we hear what you say. Danny, we're back in our regular sleeping position. This is, who are they? And who's Chuck Fuckett? Uncle bed sores, auntie bed sores. I'm never going to find that silver sausage. I feel like everyone else in the world has found a silver sausage except for me.

I'm never going to get to go to silly Silvio's meatpack planting. Danny, this little kid's giving us exposition. Quick, write it down. One, two, three, four, hate riddle riddles, glue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.