Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #341: Erin on the Side of Tea

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

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Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.ca slash Wondery. Pip, pip, cheerio. Good afternoon, darlings. It's your host, Erin. After getting three strikes with the FCC, Aaron on the side of has moved across the pond. But don't fret kittens. All your favorite things have come with me. the show is still there. We just found a brand new time slot. So settle in, dust off your fascinators, clutch your pearls, and prepare your best, ooh, I say. The kettle is on, the scones are buttered, and we are about to cozy up with Erin on the side of tea.

Welcome to the first ever episode of Aaron on the Side of Tea. We decide to air on the side of going full British with this show. You might be a fan of Aaron on the side of coffee, my morning show, or Aaron on the side of wine, my late night talk show. But right now we're smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. 3 p.m. British time, to be exact. British, you get what I'm trying to say. I'm your host, Aaron, and let's get off to the races.

As always, I'm here with my band leader, Archibald, Babaduke. Archibald, how are you doing this afternoon? Oh, quite well, thank you, Erin. Ah, Archibald, I had a bandleader, Kyle, back in the States, and he was a lazy bag of bones. Oh, dear. So I'm really excited to upgrade to such a fancy... A musician, you're wearing, like, a white tucks with the tails. What instrument do you play?

I play the Maguverphone. Oh, is that that huge contraption you're sitting at? Yes, what you do is you put three strings on a dog, put it under a magnet, and then you have three horns in opposite directions sort of blaring out the barks. It's a living. Oh, is that the dog? Yes, we taught one of them to speak, and it's been a problem, a real problem. Wow, well, dealer's choice, I would love to hear you play your favorite song to play.

Yes, why don't we play, um, the kinks Lola? Whenever you're ready. Just a nice standard. Dogs, are you ready? It's just one dog. Right? Yes, that was a test. It looks like the rest of the machine is made out of dog parts, though, right?

Like one living dog. Yes. What the rug? Here we go. End the one and the two. Kill me. Kill me. I am most of a dog.

Come back to us. Come back to us. Oh, of course. We're not ready. We're not ready. I'll come back to you in a little bit. And then also joining us today, my sidekick, as always, my butler, Wensley Brassington. Wensley?

Hello, Aaron. It's me. I'm sorry. The name that I'm supposed to go by is... Wensley Brassington. Winsley Brassington. JPC, please just fucking care. Okay.

You said. I just wanted to make sure that everything that I'm doing is part of the court order. But it is. It is part of the court order. And also, the judge is for you to not in the court order. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm watching a video on my phone. Stop. Well, you called me midway through the video.

I didn't, I'm not calling. Here's the top 10 worst groin injuries in NFL history. JPC. I fuck it. I hate ads. Hold on. Hold on. I have to watch an ad. Number 10. What's that an ad for? It's a groin injuries. Yeah. And it's NFL groin injuries.

too. Ugh. I think that they'd have way worse injuries in the NFL the groin specifically. GBC, part of the court order, the judge said that you had to make it seem like you were here because of friendship, not because you broke the law. Okay? You're not even supposed to bring up the court order. You're supposed to make it seem like you were supporting me as a friend. You flew across the country or you flew across the Atlantic Ocean as a friend.

And now you're here as a friend. Okay. I'm here as a friend. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And yeah, you had to be handcuffed on the plane. Right? Yeah, of course.

And yeah, you made a huge scene because they didn't give you two desserts. Everyone else got one. Why shouldn't I get two? I'm more special. That doesn't make any sense. What does it? Fine. Hey, I'm here.

Do I have to do a voice? Did the judge say, Winsley, Billington or? Brassington. Did the judge say have to do a voice? Wensley Brassington. Sorry, I'm the solicitor on set here. What the fuck? Let's just use this guy.

No, no. I'm the solicitor representing the judge in his verdict. You do have to me. Wait, do you have to wear a powdered wig? Do people who work for judges have to wear powdered wigs too? What do you mean powdered wig? Never mind. Yikes.

Yikes. The judge, Reinholt's assistant has to wear a powdered wig. That would be fucking awful. It's not a powdered wig. It's just his hair. Marco! You guys had to say polo so I can find you. Oh, I'm sorry, Aaron.

I thought you were looking for your friend Marco. Why were you crying before if you were just playing Marco Polo? Well, I miss my friend Marco, but now I want to play Marco Polo to cheer myself up. Oh. Oh, okay. Marco. Polo. Found you.

I found you. Oh, found. You found Marco just like found is a business making platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare for taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals. I'm sure you and Marcus would open up a business. Marco. Control spending with different. He would have loved this.

Oh. Yeah. She also didn't find him, you know, because he's still missing. But Aaron, you know, what's not missing is all of the. the great features that Found offers. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving found too. This Found user said, Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier, expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And Found has 30,000 five-star reviews just like this. None of them, it looks like are from Marco, but yeah, he is still missing.

He is still missing. Dang. We use Found for Hey, Riddle, Riddle. It is a really great service. It makes my life so much easier. I appreciate that found has invoicing, which allows me to easily create and send professional invoices, keep all of my financial activities in one place. And the invoicing is the most annoying part of the things that I do. So it is really nice to have found. Losing Marco is the most annoying part of what I do. So open a found account for free at found.com. F-O-U-N-D dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Pyrmont Bank, member FDIC. Don't put this one off.

Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found. Marco! Polo! Polo! Marco! Oh, Aaron! Marco! Okay, it's a puppet.

I'm out of here. It's a puppet. The sun has gone to bed and so much. tie. I miss my helix sleep mattress. Good night. Wait, can we do this? Aaron, can we do this? What? I mean, this. Could we do this? Oh, probably not. Yeah. Okay, cool. Well, guys, I really wanted an excuse to talk about my helix mattress. I love it so much. I have the midnight Lux. I've had it for years. It's the best mattress I've ever had. And anytime someone comes over and dog sits for Lou, they compliment my mattress and say, what is that glorious, glorious mattress?

And I say it's Helix Sleep, baby. I have the same midnight lux. It's the most comfortable mattress I've ever owned. I used to have back pain when I woke up in the morning. My back pain is gone. Also, all four, yes, four of my cats sleep on my bed every night, which they didn't used to do when I didn't have a Helix. So thank you, Helix. I am tired going to sleep on Helix. Can we do this? All right, Aaron, we can't go down this road again. We cannot go down this road again. But Helix Sleep can go down this road as many times as it once because it's the best mattress that I have ever owned.

And if you want to get one for yourself and guess what, dear listener, you freaking can. All you have to do is go to helixleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day Sale Extended. That is a 25% off site wide. That's helixleep.com slash riddle for 25% off sitewide. make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you Helixleep.com slash riddle Helixleep.com slash riddle.

Wait, why are you, we can't do this? Excuse me, I'm Mr. DMCA and I want to say I approve. Yay! Can we do that? I don't think so. Wait, run DMCA?

Run! Sorry you were saying The judge insists that you must attempt a voice You don't have to nail it But attempting one is what his verdict was So I'll try this again Here is my butler Wensley Brassington

Prim and proper, priman proper Men, what could I do for you? Stop watching the groin videos Stop It's an ad I'm trying to get to my video They used to have skip a button That would let you skip the ads

But they took the button away What video are you even trying to watch? It's a groin injury ice skating video Oh my God Thank you, Wensley I will take An Earl Grey tea With a little bit of milk

And one sugar, please The fuck is that? How the fuck am I supposed to do that? I'll make me tea It's Aaron on the side of tea Okay I guess I'll figure it out It's easy, it's tea

What do you mean? you'll figure it out. I guess I'll figure it out. I don't know what more you could want for me. It can't be any more complicated than your dumb little espressoes that you drink while we're recording. Sorry to Bartayden again as the solicitor here, court ordered. A lot of UK residents find side of tea, a little grating on the ears. Aaron with a spot of tea might be a little more conducive to... Yeah, but then the title doesn't make any sense anymore. Okay, you're the American? Yeah. Yeah.

Fix your hair. Why is there so much powder in your hair? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Aaron, I hate to cut in, but I'm here in the field and I'm waiting for my segment. It's Nathan Brass here with the Brass Report. Ah, Nathan with the Brass Report. We're going to go to Nathan in the field with the Brass Report. Nathan, what is it like out there? Well, it's a bell tower.

I'm in another one of England's mini bell towers. And in this one, the bells are brass. Right. So we have a guy who goes out in the field to find things that are made of brass. Bells. Bells specifically that are made of brass. Yes. Bells that are made of brass.

And my name's Nathan. Nathan. Nathan Brass. Nathan Brass. What is, how big? is that bell? I'm getting married this weekend. That's not what I asked. Ask me her name. No, I want to know how big the bell is. Erin, ask me her name. How big is the bell? Jennifer Bells. Are you just with her because of her name? No. How big is the bell? Ask me if we're

going to hyphenate our names when we get married Aaron. Is it going to be Nathan Brass Bells? You do Bell's Brass. Fuck. Ah, shit. That would flow so much better. Fuck. How big is the Bell, Nathan? I don't know.

I don't have a tape measure. Okay, well, we're going to come back to you in a minute. We'll have I going to get a tape measure up here. The Bell Tower is no way. I'm going to get a tape measure and a minute. In the meantime, we're going to Nigel Puddyfoot with the weather. Nigel, you are out there with an all-weather umbrella. Tell us a little bit what we can expect from the weather today, Nigel.

Well, it is coming down pretty hard and sideways, is what I can glean from being outside at the moment. The all-weather umbrella is doing nothing. I am soaked, tip-to-tanked. A lot of the cabs seem to be going up to the curb into the puddles to seemingly splash me on purpose. a lot of people seem to be taking shelter under awnings of shops and stores. It's rain.

I mean, I don't know what else. It's rain. I know, and Nigel, you do get a little sour when we go to you for weather because it's the same thing every day. It's just, I mean, it's rain. I don't know why we allot three minutes for this. It's rain. And Nigel, how many inches of rain, sorry, millimeters of rain do you think we're going to get today? One, two, three, four, Hey Riddle Riddles, Clue Crew.

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