Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #345: King Mumbles pt. 3 w/ Olivia Nielsen

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

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Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.combe slash Wondery. Ah, man, it is getting hot out here. Yeah, sorry, Adela and I just wrestled for 10 minutes. Yeah. I mean, you guys, we had a lot of big feelings after meeting with Kevin and Bridget. You guys, do you think you're having a hard time? I fell in love and got my heart broken today. My God. Oh, yeah, Erin. Did you, do you have a keepsake to remember Kevin by? It took his tail.

I took his whole tail with me. I'm going to wear it as a ring. Hey, Adel, can I talk to you over here for a second? Yeah, of course. Do we want to just say our legs are healed or do we want to do? We did, when we jumped off the bridge, we did, quote, unquote, brick our ankles, but I was kind of playing it up. Yeah, me too.

I just kind of wanted to be carried. And also, I kind of don't want to live in that reality anymore, so I think I'm healed. Hey, Aaron. What's up? We found magic and our legs are fine now. Oh, great. Oh, good. We found a little puddle of magic.

Yeah. Well, let's go find. It was just enough for us. You guys, we're... Okay, wait. Well, you're leaving me any? I'm remembering now that you have some disease issues that we may have cured with the magic. And so...

And now I want to say that there was not enough and we accidentally used all the magic on our legs. You guys. Whatever. Also, you're welcome You're welcome for getting us to the castle Here's the moat Now we can talk to King Mumbles And now we can go home

You're welcome Big ass door All right, let's start heading towards the door Shouldn't be any obstacles in our way Why would you say that? I feel like you're just demanding an obstacle placed in front of our way by saying Shouldn't be any obstacles

You got a knock on wood If you're going to say shit like that The door's wood, knock on the door We've got to knock on the door here Let's give it a wrap Hmm Hello No one's in here

Oh Oh looks like no one's in here guys Wait a minute Wait a second Wait a second Wait a fucking second Adol said give it a rap And then Aaron didn't start rapping

Well Okay let's try that again Give it a wrap No Okay Let's try this again Okay Knock knock knock

Occupied Oh Someone going to of the bathroom. So there is someone in there, but they're pooping. Does Occupy always mean pooping? Yes. Hold on. Let me back up. If you say one sec, that means peeing. If you say Occupy, that means pooping.

Yeah, okay. That makes sense. It's not an exact science. I'm going to back up from the door. I'm going to look up at the castle walls. I was right behind you. Why are you all up in my business? Because my hair smells good. Fuck you. You had something in your hair. It was a delicious smell. Is it herbal essences? I have to know, Aaron. Just give me the recipe. I'm going to back up and look up at the capital.

Russell Walls. Hello? You-hoo. Oh, there's someone up there. There's like a little door within the door that's kind of open. Hello. Hi. Hi. Oh, hello. Oh, greetings, visitors.

Thank you. Hi, thanks. I can't tell if they're pooping. Are they pooping? I can't tell. Not anymore. Oh, good. Please announce yourselves.

Hi. We are Adel, Aaron, and JPC, and we would like to get into King Mumble's Castle to have a word with the king. Mm-hmm. Um, okay, well, at the town crier, I actually do have to let you know that now is not a very good time. There is a lot of drama happening in the castle today. Oh, my gosh, the town crier, maybe she's divorced or like... No, that's not what you think it means. Oh.

It's sort of like she, uh, I guess I, the town gossip. Oh. Well, Erin, that's, you're kind of assuming a lot there. How do you know it's not the thing that Adel thinks it is? Dish, girl. Well, if you want to know the scoop on the cat, well, let me just shimmy down my little, the, shoot me down the ivy on the castle. Just give me one second.

I'll be right down. That's strong ivy. Look at that. Okay. She's hurting a lot of energy. I would take a look at that ivy and think no way could it hold a person. But damn.

Okay, down to the ground. Quite the dismount. Oh, hey, Adel. I just heard from Aaron. Oh, good, good, good. It's actually really great news. So if you've been following along, She ordered 1,111 chef salads.

She's been trying her best to make a dent in them. She's actually done, with her help of her persona, Doug Deep, a pretty good amount of the salads. But I just heard that due to, you know, kind of the failure of the app she was working with when she ordered the salads, she will not be charged for the salads, which is great news because her money and her finances are a mess.

But now she can get help with Rocket Money because Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subsets. subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Oh, yes, Aaron would. Oh, she'd do so well with Rocket Money. Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion, not Chef Salads, that's dollars, including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. And I think Aaron might be juicing those

numbers as well because she apparently was signed up to do a monthly chef salad delivery of 11111 chef salads. And so I think Rocket Money has helped her kind of nip that in the bud before it becomes a problem for her next month, which we actually don't know if it will be because we don't know, you know, maybe, gosh, I hope she's not gone for that long. Rocket Money also shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. Like some people may have forgotten about a recording. If you see a subscription, you know, longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including bill due dates and pay dates in a way that's easy to digest, case you

laughing at the chat. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. But don't take it from us. Take it from tailored wrecks. That's right. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. RocketMoney.com slash riddle. Thanks, Taylor, Rex, and may I just say, that suit is ruined. Yeah. Can't really move. Yeah, you're a dead is, sorry.

Yeah. I'm going to eat you. Yeah. Yeah. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh, hey, Adel, sorry. Hey, sorry, I'm going to pop in here. Do you have a second?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? Um, so, no, really. easy way to say this, but no errand today, or maybe even for the foreseeable future. Oh, geez. Everything okay? It was a situation where she was ordering a chef salad on her chef salad app, and her finger slipped, and she ordered 11111 chef salads. So she's going to be eating chef salads for a while. For the foreseeable future, that's, wow.

yeah I'm sorry to hear that yeah I mean it's kind of a bummer um something that's not a bummer of Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or scaling your business Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain showcase your offerings with a professional website grow your brand and get paid all in one place and you know feature wise you kind of would wish that her chef salad ordering app maybe was using Squarespace and then this kind of feature bug like this wouldn't really be an issue you know yeah I mean something I would love to see is like videos of her trying to eat all those chef salads,

which is something that Squarespace offers. Yes. They make it easy to showcase your expertise and engage with clients with video content on your website, upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries of you eating chef salads, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall, perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops, or eating 1001 or whatever chef salads. Is she going to make a coat out of these salads? I, she's, all that she said was that she was determined,

and I don't really know what to take from that. Sure. But I do know that Squarespace has SEO tools, so you can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto-generated site map, and more, so you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers.

Now, I will say the tools that Aaron is using to eat these chef salads, I think are just going to make her job ultimately that much harder, because they're not really, you know, fork. Forker knife or a knife. Yeah, a knife, even nice straw. You ever drink a nice salad. Ooh, and also, don't forget that Squarespace offers analytics. Make smarter business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive, built-in analytic tools.

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I want to say, at least two more ads. Yeah. If she's eating, you're eating. Bring your local Aaron inside. Hello. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Hello, Erin. That's Addle and that's JPC.

If you are right behind me, back up. Just give me a spot to be where I can smell your hair. Just tell me where I can be to smell your hair. I can be to smell your hair, and then I'll move. Hello. You said that you're the town crier. Yes, so my name is Clem, and I am the... Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Clem. And I'm pretty much the one who's going to let you know about all the business happening at the castle. So today is actually really not a good day, if you know what I mean. There's just a lot of bad drama going on inside. We don't. We don't know what you mean.

We don't have any context for this. a king, I guess. Oh, my gosh. You sort of seem like you're, you sound stressed out, but the look on your face, it sort of seems like you're luxuriating in the fact that there's like a lot of drama today. Oh, my God. Well, it's the thing about being a town criers. The worst day at the castle is the best day for me to do my job.

Times of great peace and harmony, there is literally nothing for me to do. I'm clocking in and clocking out there, but nothing happens in my day. I go to bed unsatisfied. But right now there is so much juicy stuff happening in there, you folks. I'm sorry to hear that thing about going to bed unsatisfied. Clint. I'm sure you'll meet someone. I see my friend hit it on the head with divorce. It gets better. Thank you so much. I mean, it's hard to stay married when you're, I just need to process so much. You know, hazards of the job. Yes. Right. I don't know how people do it. Stay married and

have a job. I truly can only do one and I'm not even doing a great job at the one. Literally. Plus, you have to be eating well and moving around. I'm trying to eat well. I'll I try to have just meat all day, but it's very hard to come by these days. You're lucky you guys don't have Skittles yet. Because once you have Skittles, it's game over for eating well. I don't think they've invaded the castle yet. Oh, they're not. Clem, sit at yourself lucky.

Oh, thank God. That's the last thing we need right now. Can I ask you a question? Of course. My only familiarity with a town crier is Jason Alexander in the brandy Cinderella. Oh, he did a beautiful job. Yeah. Right.

And he sort of goes to the center of town and goes like, hear ye, hear ye, and then gives a message from the king to the people. Is that what you do? It sounds like you're sort of more involved than that. Yes, so that's just sort of a one-way channel, and the king was like abolished that. So what we have now is actually a multi-channel situation where I deliver messages from all over the castle to all. over the kingdom and vice versa. And it's usually prefaced by either hear ye, hear ye, or gather ye round, but you didn't hear it from me, depending on how classified the information is.

Clem, if I may, so you don't have Skittles, but you do have Brandy's Cinderella. Do you mind if we do kind of a lightning round of like topping something out and you tell us if you have it or not? Oh, absolutely. Backflips. Only the jester Okay All right

Was that all the lightning you had? Yeah that was the entire lightning round We just had one We were really interested in the whole backflips Did we say lightning round? We fucked up Yeah it's You know that's overselling it

Well usually I've only seen one lightning strike at a time And there's always a witch who's born right after that So it's a spell disaster for the kingdom That's good feedback for us And that's how witches are born Whoa, that's kind of fun I never do that So I mean

Oof, here's the thing What do we do? We can't really go back Because we have nowhere to go back We're actually trying to go back That's why we're trying to see King Mumbles Is there anything that we could do To maybe like, I don't know

Help with the drama Does that make any sense To like maybe bring the drama Temperature down in there? Honestly, it's just that you don't want to go It's you don't want to go anywhere near there When King Mumbles And the Queen

Start going at it Oh my God, they fight Oh, they bicker, bicker, bicker, and then nothing gets done, which is a disaster for all of the bishops. Okay, what's going on with the bishops? Okay, something's happening with the bishops, I love it. What's going on with the bishops, clam? Well, you know, I don't really want to talk. I just don't really want to talk about it, but they get.

You are grinning ear to ear. It seems like you are over the moon. No, it's just the bishops. No, I really can't. I mean, you said bishops and now it's time to dish up, Clem. I mean, we got to know what's going on with these. Bishop on the bishops. Diship on the bishop.

Well, the bishops really can't differentiate between a marital conflict and sort of a global conflict. So they start preparing for war. So everyone in their shirts off doing push-ups, doing chin-ups, battling dragons, et cetera. Okay, I got to get in there. I'm going to get in there and see that. It's funny as hell. Oh, my God. I mean, Clem, you say horny.

as hell. You're also saying that they're having like a marital fight. I mean, is it that potentially that their like passions are being channeled in the wrong place? Because it sounds like, you know, maybe there's a little bit of repression going on. It seems like we got a lot of shirtless men in there doing push-ups when they could be, not to be vulgar, but fucking each other. Believe me, ever since dancing was outlawed here, we've been watching Brandy Cinderella every Friday night as for a town movie night. We used to have passionate dances where we invoked the devil. But ever since the new year started, we haven't been able to do that.

And did the devil bring movie technology here? It depends on who you ask. I guess I'm asking you. I think yes. The movie's too good. One, two, three, four, hate riddle riddles, glue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free, day trial at patreon.com

slash hey riddle riddle.