Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #346: King Mumbles pt. 4 w/ Rob White

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

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Damn, I mean, we're in the castle. Ooh, this is, would you say this is like Georgian, like a Georgian building, architecture-wise? More like Florida. Okay, I could see it. Yeah. Like Charleston. Round porch. Yeah.

I've never seen a castle with a porch. Like, cartoonishly castle to me. I guess it does have all these, like, peach trees around. There's a gazebo. And I feel like, this is actually, I'll say this, the first castle I've ever been in. I've never been in a castle before. This is like a really cool experience. NBC, congrats.

Wait, we went to medieval times though. Is that technically? Fuck my whole shit up. That's a castle. That's a castle. Legally. On the outside, I guess. No, it's a castle.

It's the only castle in like, what is it, Elgin, Illinois. I think that's kind of like a petting zoo. Medieval Times is kind of scary, huh? Yeah, it's kind of scary. It's kind of scary the way they treat their horses. But we're here. Oh, we're here to see King Mumbles. We're here to see King Mumbles.

We did it. Okay, let's see. There's, okay, so to the left is 341 through 356, and to the right is throne room. So let's do Throne Room. Oh, wait, it says throne room, and then in parentheses it says bathroom. Yeah, that's so confusing. Yeah. Okay, this says where the king is, but also ice.

I don't know if that's what we need. And this says live, laugh, love, love. but it's coffee o'clock. I think the decor at here is all over the place. A little chuggy castle. Confusing. Well, let's do where the king is. Yeah.

And then also I could fill up my canteen with ice because my water has run hot. So let's follow this corridor here. I'll give a polite nod to the guards. Oh, okay. Maybe here's somebody who could help us. Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. We're looking for King Mumbles.

Well, you're looking right at him. Oh. Okay Okay So you Okay Okay I thought

I'm sorry I just thought the king would be You guys don't say anything out loud Don't say Adol You still have time I'm a big guy Adle

I'm big guy So I was sick as a child Okay That is See Adol That's why we don't bring that up Question for you

I guess King And I want to say King mumbles Is that I'm getting that I'm saying this Yes that's correct is this a but I do not need to be disrespectful at all JPC you still have time to not say whatever you're about to say

Is this an emperor's new clothes thing Are we supposed to say like you have wonderful clothes Or is this a like we caught you in between I was going from the throne room to the king's room To the king's room Got it okay cool why don't we why don't you I wasn't expecting guests This part of the wing is sort of my territory

Got it oh sorry that makes sense because like the door's not long but I don't lock my, like, bedroom door. You know what I'm saying? Precisely. Totally. Right. Well, we don't want to insult him. Like, guys, we don't have to, like, go on and on about how he gives more, like, sick chimney sweep vibes than kick.

Right? You know, we don't need to be saying this stuff out loud to him. Do you know what I mean? For sure. I did fully physically recover on the inside. It's just the outside doesn't look so good. I can't be right. I think it may be your court wizards may be telling you something.

But, yeah. Every day. Well, that's good. Yeah. like it seems like when we came in, it seems like you were kind of posed. You were on this sort of fainting couch sort of posed towards us. So it just seems like you were expecting something. But we can move on. Well, it's quite all right. To be completely honest with you, my portrait is coming up. I get a new one every year. And they all look sickly, to be honest. So I'm trying out some

different poses, just seeing, you know. Oh, so this was a pose for a portrait. So you were going to do all fours on the ground, ass pointed up, face turned around with a little. little whisper of like I have a secret that was like for the royal official yes okay is that not no that will convey strength to the people I think it's playful but inviting and I think it's certainly yeah it's certainly a new angle I've saw some of the other portraits in the hall they're kind of also you know kind of like regal stern strong chin kind of like looking off into the distance so it's definitely telling like a different type of story about like what what you're kind of like ankle on king is, you know?

Can I offer you a peach? Anybody care for a peach? I would love one. Love a peach? I got to say, it really depends on where you're going to be pulling it out of. Just, well, we have many peach trees. Oh, just right off the tree. Oh, it's the only place they grow in the whole kingdom, so it's kind of special.

And King, uh, King Mumbles, if I may, um, we saw that on all the castle windows, there seemed to be sort of peach pies cooling. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is that to lure peasant? people in? Oh, no, no, no. We just, we have feasts every night. And to be honest, you saw the number of peach trees and very few people live in this castle. So we just kind of have to do something with them. Got it. Yeah. All said and done, how many people would you say, how many people would you say

live in the castle? Full time. Oh, I don't even know what that would mean. Full time living. Well, summer just Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I don't know if we're counting those. Because the same, different people sleep in the same room, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, room is empty on Sunday. Right. And then you have the people in the dungeon. It's like, do you count them as long-term residence or they, you know. No, it's mostly short-term, unfortunately, if you wind up there. Oh, yeah. But I would say 25, 25 full-time. Very, very good king.

King Mumbles, is sort of pulling at your jacket. I never. What jacket? But what jacket? That's loose skin. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Stop pulling that. I should put something on.

Yeah, why don't you, why does the king throw something odd room? I would. Yikes. Hi, Aaron. Hi, JPC. It's me. Saving squirrel. Aaron, I'll stomp on it.

You just give me the guess that go ahead. The thumbs up and this thing is gone. No, no, JPC, I think there's something he's trying to say. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Foot just hovering over it. Wait, I have value. I have value. do you want to turn your kids in the savers acre and jurely which i represent makes it easy to teach kids healthy money habits that will stick with them for life

you know squirrel i was just thinking about how like why don't they teach us more about money in school like i feel like there should be a whole class for it because you go to college and you don't you're dealing with money really for the first time right and you don't know how to do it yeah erin don't say go to high school and go to college or on the squirrel it's obvious that this is a guy didn't go to high school in college because he's a squirrel yeah he did look he's wearing a little graduation cap Yeah. Oh. I went to MIT. I am so sorry, Squirrel, but not as sorry as I am about not learning about money when I was younger. Squirrel, let me ask you, do you have a piggy bank? And I should say MIT stands for munch into trees. That's what I thought. I do have a piggy bank. Well, piggy banks are cute and they're great for loose quarters, but these days there's so much more that kids and squirrels need to know about money. Acorns early makes it easy to teach kids lifelong money skills they can actually use in the real world or whatever.

whatever world you live in, Squirrel. Hmm. Thank you. I'm not sure. I thought it was the normal world, but I could be wrong. Well, let me ask you this. If it's the normal world and your world, does Acorns Early have a smart debit card and a money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up? You betcha. Okay. And can you start with in-app chores tracker and teach your kids the value of a dollar? Absolutely. Okay. And then you let your kids set their own saving goals and start building healthy money habits early? You better believe it. Hmm. Okay, so it sounds like we're in the same world.

I like when I said MIT stands for munch into trees. We all just kind of glazed over that. No, I know. It's in Massachusetts. It's a really great school. Kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with acorn early spending limits and real-time spend notifications,

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way to earn, save, and spend. Get your first month on us when you head to aacorns early.com riddle or download the acorns early app that's one month free when you sign up at acorns early dot com slash hey riddle acorn's early card is issued by community federal savings bank member fdicic pursuant to license by master card international free trial for new subscribers only subscription fee starting for five hours per month and list canceled term supply at acorns.com slash early terms all right jpc let's go find you a little animal to step on water food smash it was a cartoon mr monopoly here monopoly is Back at McDonald's.

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and AMOE.com to play without purchase. Ends November 23rd, but bonus play ends November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's. King mumbles, I never met a king before. What kind of king are you? Are you like a man of the people? Are you a stern and scary king?

What sort of your vibe? I would like to say I'm a man of the people, but I feel others would describe me as a recluse. So what am I thinking of? I'm thinking of raccoon. Oh, raccoon? Possibly. I guess I could see that.

I do a mustache is more whisker-like. But, and you have wet little hands, King, if I may. Hyperhydrosis. Oh. Okay. Yes, it's a condition unrelated or maybe related to the many illnesses I had as a child, but yes, I do. Quite wet hands. No, because your insides are all healed, so.

Correct. Well, it's the outside of my hands. Hyperheadheadosis is an outside, yeah, that's an outside issue. It's an outside issue. You're totally right on that. King, now that you've put on a stunning. Can I just say, stunning two-piece silk pajama set? These are daytime clothes, my friend.

My apologies. My apologies. Sorry. Quite all right. Well, here's where we can kind of segue is that where I'm from, those would be considered pajamas. And what I should say is that the three of us are from the future. Hmm. Hmm.

The future. A very muted response to the future. I'm skeptical. You must understand. And I have visitors all the time who claim to see things, know things. And I have to, I have to suss a lot of nonsense. Okay. Well, put us through the test, king.

I will. When you say the future, do you mean what? What do you mean by the future? Okay, hard-hidden question right out of the gate. Oh, yeah, no. So that's a great question. We're kind of, we're more from like a very distant future. So if you're going to ask us like, what's going to happen next year?

we are going to it's going to be s o'l on that we will not know but like adle could probably tell you who won the super bowl spaniards on lawn yes no oh sorry in one year i will have spaniards on my long no no s o l sol stands for um shit out of luck oh okay where we come from where we come from yeah which is the future do you do a lot of spaniards on your long well i mean spain is a threat yeah so that's a It's a constant concern. So that's why I was a little... You know what? They really mellow out.

I will tell you. They do? Oh, that's so good. Oh, good. Yeah. Like, exploring and then sort of... Because I'm a fan. I'm a...

Have you had paellaia? Yeah. It's delightful. Topas? Crispy, the little crispy edges on the paella. Oh, yes. The crispy rice. Oh, okay.

They will mellow out on the world stage for sure. Okay. Oh, that's wonderful. More good news. Portugal. I know that's probably pretty big right now. Probably not going to be a concern kind of at all. Oh.

Oh. A lot of people, and get this, a lot of people will not be able to tell you what continent Portugal is on. Yeah, people will get confused. I think a lot of people will say South America. Yeah. Oh, boy, America. Oh, yeah. Oh, right.

Now I'm just going to throw it stuff out. Okay, so some people are going to leave, how did this, what? I don't even know what year it is here. And something, something in 42, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Oh, something to look forward to, tomatoes. Don't know Okay I don't know

No reaction But why would he What do you mean It's like a peach That's that you Oh It's like a peach that you pair with cheese Oh

Yeah Like a When I describe a tomato like that Huh When I describe a tomato like that Huh One two three four Hate Riddle Riddle Riddle's

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