Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #348: The Comments Section

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

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Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters, and my brain's like, we whoa, we whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need to find a way to unwind, what to do, what to do, what to do. Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast, Hey, Riddle, Riddle, was a doozy. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, yeah.

I sort of, I sort of, like, tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp. Remember that character, Kung Fu Shrimp? I sort of threw my back out. So I'm looking for, like, a natural way to, like, relieve aches and discomfort. You know, I'm not as young as I once was. But, yeah, maybe, oh, maybe like cornbread hemp, CBD gummies? Right. I feel like that's been a huge piece of my wellness plan recently.

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Let's Chop these boards Adel, you're going to really hurt yourself The surfboards There we go D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D Oh, he's back Oh, that's back! Give me that another gummy

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Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Sometime earlier this year, I brought up a concept of something I wanted to do. And, Adel, you gave it a name. So welcome to our first episode of First Improv Based on Internet Comments. How we feel, boy? I vaguely remember this. I vaguely remember what this is. So, because Aaron, you're doing your re-listen.

Yeah, I tell. I hate my own voice and I'm my least favorite comedian. I'm also doing a re-listen. We're doing these like re-listens. We're like dancing around each other. But I think that we're listening for very different things because you're listening for like funny scenes and I'm listening for how to strip context away from like one weird thing

that someone says or let's be honest. a noise that someone makes. I think it would be impossible to do both our things at the same time, so I don't think we're actually covering duplicate grounds. Yeah. My brain is not thinking about weird noises that people are making.

I'm just trying to find really funny short scenes to put in between the scenes that people have already suggested for the best. All this to say, I think we probably both listened to the same episode recently where whatever the Germanus of this idea came from.

Yes. Yes. So this is taking internet comments and doing a lot with them? we're going to do improv scenes based on we're going to use these internet comments as inspiration for improv scenes okay um so this is very loose it's supposed to be fun okay everyone sort of looks was this was this like having like going to a cold play song and having someone comment like still listen to this in 2014 is that the kind of

that's exactly okay okay jpc an uncanny fucking guess for what i'm about to do first I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. That's fucking spooky as shit. All right. I don't like that at all. I think honestly I might just be remembering me saying that or someone saying that on an episode like a year ago. So.

Yes. So. Let's do it. Well, actually, drop down to give me 10 pushups. No. Impossible. At my age? That could kill me.

What am I, Sylvester Stallone? All right. Fine. Then we'll do this premise. What is this? Rocky First Blood Part 2? so crazy name for a movie i kind of already gave it away because i was going to have it be like you can guess what the the youtube video was oh today we're good to start our comments with

youtube videos but um if people know of a really insane comment section somewhere on the internet like a reddit or a fan fiction or cora cora like a uh yelp review of something like let me know but today is YouTube video comments. What's core? Quora seems wild. There's a podcast. I've never listened to it, but I've listened to them guest on other podcasts

called the Quarators, I believe. And it's just like people that really dig down deep into the Quora comments. But Quora is like crazy because it is just people asking questions. Yeah. Or it's like my son is five. Can he bounce if I, like it's just the wildest shit

I've ever seen. Or, like, hypothetical, like, questions. Like, who would win in the battle between, like, an angel and a battleship? And then there's, like, people who are, like, genuinely trying to answer those questions. Navy here, battleship. What are we talking about? For this first episode, I'd say these are all pretty mild. I'm not, I didn't pull anything super cuckoo bananas.

Okay. But just to get us into it. Sure. Here are some comments. And then maybe you can guess what Coldplay music video these are for. Nostalgia is the best and worst feeling at the same time. And then someone commented, isn't it funny that day-to-day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?

C.S. Lewis. People are commenting C.S. Lewis quotes in the comment section. Insane. This song is wine. The older it gets the better it sounds. And C.S. stood for Coldplay stand, right? Yeah. Coldplay stand, Lewis? I'd like to see a scene.

Wait, wait, can we guess? Yeah. The Scientist? No. Or is that an album? Show me your hands. That was off a rush of blood to the head. Okay, okay.

That's the only song. That's the only cold play title I think I could pull out of my ass. The Scientist. Nobody said it was easy. No. Fuck. Shit. Clocks.

Nope. Think more obvious. Yellow. More obvious than yellow? Yeah. Hmm. Uh. I think I've.

I think I've. No, not fix you. I've just said their hits. I'm just not a cold play fan. They have more songs than this? That I've heard. I don't know the name of that one. I used to rule the world.

That's a later cold play, right? Viva la Vita. Viva la Vita. Casey got it. Okay. I'd like to see a scene. Hey, guys, thanks for coming over. I thought I would host a early Thanksgiving dinner

and just talk about all the things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my, all the kickballs I have, all my windows in my house, and also I'm thankful for Rocket Money. Have you heard of this? You've seen this? Oh, yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

I've been using Rocket Money for years way before they were a sponsor, and I love it to keep me financially organized. And not just you, Aaron, not just me. has saved users over $2.5 billion. But a billion. $2.5 billion, Aaron? That's a lot of money. Including over $880 million and cancel subscriptions alone.

Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. So $140 a year saved. That could buy me so many new windows. If you've got a goal that you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. Plus, rocket money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunity to save and then goes to work to get better deals. They'll even talk

to customer service so you don't have to. And you know what? It's so color-coded and lovely and they make all these charts for you. So it's just intuitive. It's easy to use. And they will find those subscriptions that you forgot you signed up for and they'll let you know. They'll keep you on top of it. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster. with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash riddle today. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle. R-I-D-L-E. I forgot to kill the turkey. Can someone kill that? Oh, J-B-B-B-B-B-B-T-C would love to do that. Oh, yeah. Get over here, turkey.

That's a chicken. That's a chicken noise. What am I saying? Gobble. Gobble. Gobble. Put that in to PC. Thank you. Well, guys, I built us a sandbox to play in. But Sandy's not here. We just built a sandbox, a nice square sandbox, so we can go ahead and build some castles, play pretend, whatever. Would it be okay, Adel? And you can say no? Can I use this square space that you built as a all-in-one website platform designed to help me stand out and succeed online?

So I can kind of use this to build my own website. Is that okay with you? Sure. If you see, the sandbox is for pretend. What you described is an actual thing. It's called Squarespace. So it's not a litter box. It's not a litter box. Uh-oh. That's fine. That's fine. I'll make a call. I'll make a call. Keep going. Make one for me. And make one for me. And make one for me. And make one for me. I got it. I saw. I saw it. I'm making. Oh, okay, Adel. So you're talking about Squarespace, which gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place from consultations to events and experiences, showcasing your offerings with a customizable website,

design to attract clients and grow your business, get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payments, plus streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. That's kind of what you're talking about. Absolutely. You know, actually use Squarespace, you know, you can sell content on there. Squarespace makes it easy to monetize your content by selling access to online courses, blogs, videos, memberships, sandbox tutorials. Start with a fully customizable website and earn recurring revenue by getting your content behind a paywall. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise

and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. And I'm just deleting the footage we have of the sandbox. Because no one used it as a litter box.

Hey, this is dirty Ricky. You called about a double litter box cleanup. Yep. Ricky, can you call me back? I can't hear you. You're going to have to be very loud and very specific. Call me back in four minutes, Ricky. I don't know why you're leading into the nickname Dirty Ricky.

But Dirty Ricky and everyone else, head to Squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Riddell to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, Dirty Ricky, I can talk now. How are you? Do you want to get dinner or? Go to DirtyRicky Sandbox cleanup.com. Powered by Squarespace. No.

Oh, okay, that's good. Someone will make that. I'd like to see a scene. You are a couple celebrating your anniversary, and you are opening a bottle of wine from the year that you got married, and the wine is terrible. Hmm. I know it's been an amazing day,

but I have something, I don't need to suit my own horn but I have something a little special plan that I've been kind of planning for

well let's just call it the last 15 years Carl you scamp what did you did you finally book us that resort

in a wagon don't guess don't guess don't guess oh yes okay yes after our first date in 2010

I was so sure that you were going to be the man that I ended up with that I went to... I went to that little liquor store underneath the apartment that you used to rent...

Oh, Zach Smart. Zach Smart. I went to Zach Smart and I bought a bottle of wine. A 2010 bottle of wine from that day. Oh, my God. And I've saved it these last 15 years. Wow.

It is a 2010 barefoot Zinfandel. Ooh. Okay. Oh. I thought about a nicer bottle. But it was 2000, you know,

we were not established in our, you know, fields at that point. This represents a young, scrappier us. This represents the salad days.

So let's crack this puppy open. It's not a crack open. It's a twist open. Oh. Huh. So. A lot of sediment at the bottom.

That might, Maybe, yeah, maybe I should have got a darker wine, so you couldn't really. Why don't I just, okay. Oh, that came right off. That's not good. Felt loose. Oh, what is, is there a gas leak? What does that smell?

Oh, boy. The carbon monoxide detectors are going off. Okay, okay, yeah, I was just going to rip that off the, pop the batteries out of that. Uh, huh. Let me read the label here. We here at barefoot, love all our wines equally. This might be at the bottom of the list, but it's, It's a list of wines we love equally.

Please pair with gushers or broccoli. What the fuck is? Hey, you know what? Before we drink this. There's a question mark at the end of that something. Before we drink this, let me do, let me pop online real quick and just do a quick search to make sure, I want to make sure that we can drink this. Yes.

Because I thought the thing with wine was if you saved it in like a cool, dark, you know, space for like a long enough time, it would just get better or, okay. So I'm on Bearfoot's website. Make sure there wasn't a recall or something. No recall information. Okay. Their wine does say consume immediately. Hi, if anyone can read this, I gave Barefoot wine to my 21-year-old.

And for his birthday, my whole family was celebrating his birthday. And everyone's dead. This is auto-playing on the website. Everyone's dead. Please, please. Everyone's dead, help up. I think that was a targeted ad. I don't think it was associated with the barefoot website.

I think it was like a, because it popped up. That was, that felt so urgent and frantic. Also, the term I gave wine to my 21 year old made it sound like she injected wine into him. Maybe if you inject the wine, it's bad for you? We've talked about this. We're not, we're not going to fall back down that rabbit hole. Yes, right. Yeah, that was.

Maybe you know what? Maybe this was a terrible idea. Maybe we, maybe we dumped this. No, no, no, no. That would be dumping, you know, us. That would be dumping our fate to some extent. Let's, let's hear. I have some shot glasses.

Let's do a shot of wine. Okay. Just pour me a little. Oh, here's a glass for you. Just do wine shots. Wine shots. Wine shots. Oh, this is interesting.

Look, I'm holding the bottle upside down and it's like, it's like a slow drip. It's like when you turn the faucet on just. Just a little bit. It's just a little drops. When you go to Culver's or Dairy Queen and they turn the cone upside down. What are they trying to prove? Should I shake it? Or maybe we get like a butter knife and we try to like.

Oh, scoop it out like jam. I was thinking more just like loosen the seal. Oh, yeah. Local couple super dead from drinking a bottle of wine. More at 11. Karen, stop editorializing. Read the prompt, Karen. Scene.

I hope we don't get sued. Yeah, by barefoot wine. They don't have a legal team. One, two, three, four, hey riddle riddles, glue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com. Sash Hey, Riddle riddle. What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris.

And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a new girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea.

We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day-Chinell, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad.

We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.