Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #356: Chatterbox 31

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

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Adel, Aaron? Yes. I think I'm going to do the thing for 2026 where I am going to forget you guys. Hmm. Huh. Forget it's like an amnesia way or? No, kind of like the song

because it's like, you know, let old acquaintance be forgot. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I feel like I want to rediscover the two of you. You know, for like the first time. So I have to... New friends and keep the old one is silver and the other gold. You're supposed to hold on to us.

That's not really what I took from the song. I think I see what you're going for. This is more of a 50 for state situation. Yes. You want to wake up with a sense of terror of where am I? What's happening? Why am I pregnant? What's going on?

That Adam Sandler's there? What a horror movie. Like, what a horrible movie. Yeah, literally my worst nightmare. I dragged my Aaron file, which is named Beverly Shubedo in my brain, and my Adel file into my trash bend. And then I clicked, like, permanently delete. So I got the names from the call. I believe I'm pronouncing it right.

Aaron. Call? Oh. Yeah. Is that? Aaron. Aaron. Oh, this is actually good.

This is a clean slate. We can sort of start over. Oh, nailed my name. Had trouble with yours. This is looking pretty good. So, yeah, I just thought, could you guys give me, like, like, bullet points, like, brass tacks? Like, I wrote a little note to myself about, like, you know, that this is important and I need to, like, I need to stay, you know, here the whole time. So it's like Memento.

Yes. One of my notes does say watch Memento. So. You tattooed on yourself, watch Memento. It's actually just a list of all the Nolan films because I just love those guys. Like, I just think, like, watching them all strength. Oh, he's one guy. Well, no, Jonathan wrote, right?

He wrote memento. It's one guy, and he has sort of a split. He has sort of Jekyll Hyde syndrome. I forgot that Jonathan Nolan was just a puppet that Christopher Nolan was wearing for like 10 years. Adel, what are we going to do? Are we going to completely rebrand, or are we going to tell the truth?

What if we swap? What if we swap sort of our things? Our vibes? Okay, I love it. Yeah. I'll go first. Aaron, you're like... Did Aaron say swap our wives?

Adel, don't fall for that. There was a whole TV show about it. I have written that right here. Aaron equals no wife. What? Since when? Now, Aaron, does that mean you don't have a wife or does that mean you're not wife? Material.

Can't get you a girl who can do both? So my whole thing is flannel shirts. Buying books impulsively. Tiki drinks, going to Tiki bars in new cities. Using my money for experiences. I'm up all night, baby. I like the piece that it brings when people have no expectations from me. My handwriting, unbelievable, tall, really nice.

This sucks. That's exactly my thing. I wear flannel. I buy books impulsively. Use my money for experiences. I like taking drinks. We made a plan. Who do I shoot?

Which one? Here, I have a gun as well. Let's both shoot. Who do I shoot? Adel, it felt really good to have your stuff for a while. My handwriting was so nice. Sorry. I was so good at improv.

It would be so nice to have nice handwriting for once. Wouldn't that be fun? That is maybe, I don't know. There's a lot I would change about myself, but that's got to be top three. Oh, Aaron, there's so much I would change about you. Oh. No question. Aaron, what would be the first thing?

This is a question from the Discord from, it looks like from J.P. So Fly. What's the first thing that you would do if you woke up with nice handwriting? Oh, I would start writing letters and postcards and stuff to my loved ones. But who's getting the first one? Maybe Adel. Wow. Kind of cop out answers. No, I genuinely. I think also, you know, actually I've, Adel, someone might.

squeak right in front of you, which is my friend George Elrod, who was a Chicago comedian. He works at a stationary store in Chicago, and he's been sending me postcards all year, and I am delighted every time I get one. So I would send him one back. I think I would copy a lot of Declaration

of Independence is. You already have the nice handwriting. On like old-timey paper, and I put it in the back of picture frames, and then put those up for sale at a garage sale. Hold on. It's like a little bit peeking out. That feels like. like something Adel actually might start doing.

Adel, I do think maybe we could use your handwriting, copying over everything that's incursive, because that's about to be lost text. You know, I've been visiting a lot of, like, schools as something that, you know, a parent of a child does.

A third ghost of, oh, I'm sorry. I've been haunting a lot of graveyards with a ribbon tied around my neck. No, but a lot of, like, especially Montessori schools, they teach cursive exclusively. That's how they get, like, young kids to learn their, like, letters and sound. It's really learning, like, sounds and associated in the sounds with letters.

But all the letters are cursive. I have not looked into why this is, but I found it across the board of every place that I've, like, looked at. There must be some correlation between cursive and, like, I don't know, past their learning or more comprehensive learning. I don't know. A lot of public schools across the country don't mandate it anymore. So that's strange. I think they should. There really shouldn't be, I feel like most public schools are geared primarily towards education, right?

There's nothing that's happened in the last 50 years that has done anything to the public school system, has there? We sort of stopped listening to experts. One thing that's hard about the public school system is that teachers are all, like, greedy and evil, right? They make too much money and they're, like, really evil people. We have to, like, kind of stop them in any way that we can't. Yeah. So interesting. A lot of different perspectives out there, I think, maybe do your own research on that. We don't know how. We weren't taught. Adel, I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right?

Mm-hmm. I mean, it's just... Yeah, I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real, it can be a real headache to have a small business. Yeah, and I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue at a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant. Yeah, we've had some, there's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it. Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You've got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, you know, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books.

You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. and sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else. And that could be about any podcast co-host. And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not a cry for, you know, attention here. But it's just the reality of owning a small business. But Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all, banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. paying for multiple subscriptions in dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I got to tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash.

Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles and Found helps you find your buried co-hosts. Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, invoices, budgeting, and they build an app that does it all directly from your business checking account. So you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co-hosts at a big pile of there. One thing that I love

about found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases, to make sure everything has accounted for. And again, I don't. I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bold officers found makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand. Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took, 8 feet underground, of Aaron saying this.

Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowund.com. found is a financial technology company not a bank banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with found thanks aaron i mean i that was her that was definitely her that's yeah she said that yeah the electro electromagnet that's how you get voices from their ground is electromagnets mm-hmm look it up we're not lying Oh, oh, oh, JPC, hello, it's me, Father New Year. Oh, Father New Year, what big white beard you have and looks like maybe was like a white-rimmed red hat that has been pastily painted like a different color? Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson, they got married.

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time. Uh-huh. Not to say anything of what Aaron's had. But let me... Hey, Sam, hey, oh, I'm sorry, uh, what, not Santa. Uh, what, Father New Year, whatever? Father New Year! Lean in here, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but... Oh, yeah. If you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quince? Oh, JPC. Uh, brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quince. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive.

So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world. Yeah, see, I mean, I love quince because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting up middlemen in traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But, Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quince away, but no one's kind of giving quince to you. And maybe this get-up that you're wearing,

that's you like asking for someone to maybe, you know what, Santa? I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quince. I absolutely love this thing. It is so warm. It is so comfortable.

And Santa, or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift. Oh, now the curse is lifted. And now you are Father New Year, aka Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you. Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this.

I thought I was going to have to Tim Allen you. Oh, oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name is Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell out of Chimdy. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self.

Wait, is my voice going to change? Oh, man, I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, 2. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle, free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Oh, and I lied.

Errin is buried alive. I learned this like, I guess later in life, I don't think it was ever brought up to me when I was doing it but most people write their letters

oh fuck now I can't even conceptualize it is it bottom to top or top to bottom whatever it is however people write I do it the opposite way for whatever reason

and I don't know why I learned it you do bottom to top then right I must do bottom to top well with Perciv I feel like you do bottom to top I don't remember anyway depending on the letter right

someone told me I do it upside down once when I was in like high school. And I was like, well, it's far too late for me to change the way I know how to make the letter A, right? Like, I'm only going to be doing writing with my hand for like four more years. Have people assumed a lot in your life that you had the devil inside you? I have a lot of like teachers, mentors, neighbors. Okay. Now, Aaron, this explains a lot of the water that I've, has been thrown at me because that shit burns and it's not hot water. All right, class, get up. We're going to the

woods. JBCC. Stay seated. You will be visited shortly. Well, hold on, can I go to the woods? I got this ribbon tied around. Run, kids, run. Run, everyone. Go, go, go, go. We have to find a whole new school. This head falls off, chases them.

We have some questions. This is, of course, the Cheddarbox episode. It was, of course, cold? What? You just kind of, like, wrapped your sweatshirt around you in a way that made me think that maybe you were a little. This is a heating pad. This is not, okay. It looked like the fur lining of a sweatshirt.

I slept like this last night, like kind of fully up with a pillow kind of like, you're like I was on an airplane. I don't know what happened. Oh, no. That's terrible, Aaron. This is a question from Toon Wolf. Tune Wolf had asked this question. And, Adel, I feel like this isn't specifically targeted to you, but we all, I think, can context to say that it's targeted to you.

So should Zootopia 2 have been named Tutopia? No. No. Whoa, Adel. Okay. Zootopia. Okay. Because Totopia.

Okay. I start packing up my bag. All right. I'm leaving. Because Tootopia leaves Topia, which is the suffix that gives us nothing. The zoo part is what we're looking for. Zootopia. Yes, thank you.

Zootopia. Yeah. Then what's the third one? Zootopia 3. Yeah. Three-tupia. It's got to be three-tropia. I think it's zootropia and it's, let's see, it's a lot of trouble.

So, Casey's typing, here we go. Another cook in the kitchen. Who wants to take a shot at that? Zootro Tria. Well, it says Zio. Let's get K.C. Let's get you the opposite of a raise. Zootro tria.

Zootro tria. You do an accidental zero in there, which makes it really confusing. Zootro tria. Okay. Then what's for, Casey? Well, hold on now. I want to do a little game with Adel to see, because I, obviously, Zootupia is the correct cancer. So let's give you, I'm going to give you some other like Hollywood sequels and you can tell me like how they fucked up on what they should have been called. So like back to the, back to the future too. What do we call that? Back to the Tucher. What about what about this one. Front to the Bacture was what I was going to call. Well, that'll get you infected.

What about the kind of get you a nice deep infection. One, two, three, four, hate riddle riddles clue crew. the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.