Hey Riddle Riddle - *UNLOCKED* Clue Crew #196: Santa is Dead

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

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Blue Crew The doctor was the month Sorry, all habits Here we go How does a podcast evolved after you practically solved every pussy and riddy? You really gotta expand upon your limit and brand before your show gets really shitty It turned a face reality and prayed your personalities will carry this less minute pinnacle So here comes the content that nobody wanted

Now it's time for Hey Riddle Riddle's Glue Crew Boy oh boy, what a long years work I feel like we deserve a drink Do you wanna... Hey at Cocoa Malone Do you wanna go to the uh... the wrapped present and have a drink? Nimbler? My man? There is nothing that I would rather do. Then go over the wrapped present and have ourselves a beer. I mean, we earned it, buddy. We earned it. We did earn it. I-I lost a finger this year.

No, you lost a finger? I mean- Yes, I was hot glue gunning together a saw horse, which I don't even know what that wait wait hold on you glued two fingers together that does that's not the same thing as losing a finger Sure it is no use. It's you don't have one super finger now You could just that'll come apart the pole doctor said all I have to do is dip it in warm water And they'll they'll separate but what am I next gonna be in warm water? I live in the North Pole Well, I mean that's up to you man because it's vacation now, okay? I mean we elves Yes, you're right so hard, but as soon as Christmas he hits we get some time off We got I mean we got two months two months paid time off. Oh, yeah, we work hard. We drink hard

Okay, let's oh here we go Barton. Can I get can I get a shot of Patron the elf on the top shelf my man high five? Can I get a shot of Patrone? The elf on the top shelf, my man. High five. Oh, he didn't want to high five because of your messed up finger. That's actually that's a high four. And for you, sir. You know what, I think I'm just gonna do a brew dog.

I mean, a brew deer. Let's do a brew deer for me. I don't we don't have dogs up here, obviously. Great, we got a few on giraffe. We got Blit blitzin oh there's a bit of a draft in here yeah I got chilly I mean it's the North Pole what am I supposed to do people complain about cold my bar is closed the door draft a draft is caused by having a wind chamber like inside of your house just and at what time will people be on the pole what time does that start oh

I'm sorry my friends confused wait we didn't go to the unwrapped present we went to the row whoops my bad this is just a joint forces no no no my brother owns that joint hate that guy yeah a blitzin for you and the top shelf oh here's a shot enjoy fellas. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas Merry Christmas you as well a toast to a a used hard work and most of all to Santa Disanta got I love the I love the old SOB you know what can I say I love the guy. Oh, yeah I wish I wish the god I didn't but aB, you know what can I say? I love the guy. Oh yeah. I wish I- I wish the guy I didn't, but... a good man. To a good man.

To a good man. He's like a dad to me and rumors are. He actually might be my dad. I think we're all his kids, is that- is that something- is that makes sense? I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't necessarily know, I don't know that you're necessarily as far as the species goes. The same is what Santa is. Because he's, I don't know what, he's, he looks mostly human. He's about nine feet tall, 600 pounds. Can I, and when you say I'm 35 pounds and green, you mean my skin? Oh, I mean, envious of Santa.

You mean my skin? Oh, I mean, envious of Santa. Just, can I ask someone who dresses in green green? Oh my god. I totally didn't even put it together. You dressed up! Wait, what's the occasion? Why are you wearing a green suit with a black question mark all over it? Well, I have a side hustle, I guess. I'm not making enough money in the workshop, so I... Seniority, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I started a little side hustle.

I always forget you're so much younger than me, because you still have your baby, y'all, voice. Yes, I have my baby, L voice falls out. I think when I hit 40, I think that's when it falls out, and I put my voice under my pillow. And then, of course, the voice angel comes and will Voice angel I mean, that's beyond. Yeah, Celine Dion. It's what what is it? She will come and she will leave me

$5,000 under my pillow for my voice and then like and then I'll sound like you which is you're lucky You're lucky because when I turned 40 it wasn't $55,000, so it wasn't saline the odd. Oh, who was it, and how much? I got Lance Bass in $45. Oh, yikes. I'm so sorry. Well, it was before the union, you know? But, you know, before the union of in sync?

Yeah, it was before, it was early days Lance Bass. Lance Bass like mall era like Yeah, yeah, yeah before some producer from Florida was like get him in here, too Interesting interesting you know, babe, huh? I'm a little drunk boy a few days a few like your 35 pounds Is she just slam four shots in tequila? Oh, why huh? Slow down slow down. Don't worry. You're an elf you metabolize it fast I mean we're all, we metabolize fast. So I'm gonna be able to metabolize things a little bit slower

because we're the older. No, no, you're not old. I mean, and, as an older, I said older, I said older, and say old. Einstein's, don't, you're talking about, don't talk about my friend that way. I'm talking about you. Einstein says, it's all relative.

He says, a hand on a stove, a hand on a hot stove can feel like five years and what is it five minutes with your hand on a hot stove can feel like five years and five minutes with a beautiful woman can feel like five seconds Don't get me started on Einstein guy stole everything you know from Elfstein now Elfstein That was a scientist the true.. He was the Dean of Princeton. He was. The Dean of Princeton. Of course, the town were all else, originate. Because we're little petite princes. I like to think of us like that.

And we are going to inherit the Kingdom of Santa, which is the Kingdom. So yeah, we are kind of like little princes. We're little princes. I want to crown this year. We have we never get gifts. How come we never get gifts? I think I'm crown this year. I always think that our presence is a present. That's the way that I see it. Like the fact that we exist against all odds. He's on like a wedding invitation. Your presence is a present. I wish I was. I wish I wish I was I'm walking very normally into the bar Well, I'm not trying any attention to myself fucking normally. I deeply is ID. Um, hi. Yes, it's me. Oh, yes, it's me

Sorry, all else have to do the splits to prove their elves Sorry all else have to do the splits to prove their elves You just stood still and shook your head your nose is bleeding. I'm sorry. I actually it is an emergency I just need to go in and um here's my split. I All right good enough go on and I think you're so much walking normally Smiling looks so good and normal and another thing I feel like we should be getting over time. We never get over time Also, what? Limbler you gotta calm down. You're getting too heated. You're getting too heated

Okay, you're not getting heated enough And what's with the polar bears? Anything easy easy. This is a polar bear bar Huh? Yeah, I cook a melon. Hi, Lim, this is a polar bear bar. Huh? Yeah, I cook a melon, I remember. Best friend, Fritzie here. Um, I was just loving it.

It's fine. Smile, just keep smiling. Hey, Fritzie. Uh, what's it has it going? You want a drink? Get around and I drink. Are these shots for everyone? Shot takes a shot, takes a shot, takes another shot, takes another shot, takes another

shot. Well those are boosters, I'd calm down on that Yep grabbing all the drinks of the people around me chugging them So oh fritzie fritz. Hey, we apologize apologize for Fred. I'll you buy the next round for you polar bears fritzie What are you doing? What are you doing fritzie? Merry Christmas guys? Everything's very normal nothing's bad no one's oh Yeah, okay, we assumed well then let's continue to have a great time I know a little song I want to sing. Go ahead. It's always that for a song. Okay it's called the snow is always falling and my heart's all is full and the one and the two and this time Santa's dead Santa's dead.

That's not one of the lyrics. This time.. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen, hey, so I am, you know how fritzie me moves a little slow. I was finishing my last gift and it was after five, okay? And I don't know, okay. So yeah, like I was a little bit behind my timeline. I can't hear some of these words. Yeah. Yeah, do we have to keep smiling? I think it's normal for people to be in or I think in a bar, they're not all smiling.

Smiling? I think it's weird that we're all smiling. So? Frittakingly whisper the words versus slurring them. I can't turn my best. OK, so I was a little late in my gift. And so I was like, oh, I'll just run it out. I'll just run it out to the big red sack outside.

And we'll say until before he takes off for the night, right, with all the way there. You get it. Quick Christmas. Of course, yes. and I walked out and Santa looked at me and he looked so disappointed and he started scolding me and then he He killed him for a scolding. No, no, I didn't kill shit up. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him, I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him, so maybe I did, but not in a way that's direct. Whoa, hold on! You said I didn't kill him five times fast and I was saying you might.

Maybe I did. No, I'm saying that if you cause someone so much stress that their eyes go... Oh, yeah, that's not your fault. ...do a thousand-year-old stare and then they kill over and they die. He's dead. I text Paul, he's gone. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. It's crazy. Wait, no, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What was he staring at at a thousand yards? The killer must be a sniper. It's not a killer he died from stress.

Fritzy Fritzy. St.A. is a magical being, okay? You maybe think you checked his pulse. Maybe you didn't check all of his pulses. I think he's got multiple pulses running through his magical frame. Maybe he's okay. Smash cut to us staring at the body. Ooh, this is a dead creature.

Yeah, that's dead. That's dead. My daddy's dead. I thought he was a cocoa melon. Fritsy, I thought he was immortal. He always claimed to be like Zeus or Kronos. Like he's an immortal being. Well, he's a liar. He's a dead and he's a liar, I. Guess because he's dead. What do we do?

We do we do okay? Okay, okay? Okay? Um as has anybody here raise your hand if you've seen weakened at Bernays No one's racing their hand the play of the movie the play Of course the book of the movie the Neil Simon romp. I've only ever heard book the book of a week in a birdies and I did the audiobook when we went on that road trip yeah and I got to tell you a lot of its lost the translation not something that translates the book easily speaking okay okay let me take out my little elf my handy trusty dandy elf pocket knife and I just want to check something now I'm gonna open up Santa's coat and I'm gonna cut into his chest and dig out his heart. Oh my god

Just a little little little little little. Let it work. Oh, I don't know what he's doing, but let it work Okay, I just want to make sure and take out his heart. Okay Okay, that's one. He's got four like a space marine. You gotta keep you gotta keep digging. Let me listen to the first one Okay, I don't hear the ocean. Let me dig around the next one Nothing okay the third one No, okay, and oh We the fourth one is usually the one that hits I thought I felt a little flutter. Nope. Let me hear let me hear here. Here you go

I don't know. I don't think so. I think he's right. So what happened here is we could have just gone for help up until about a minute ago and said that Santa had a heart attack, but now it looks like we murdered Santa, yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean to help, Fritzie? You're right, we can't go to the Santa store and pick up a new Santa off the shelf.

He was a one of a kind, unique magical being as long as I go. At least we wouldn't have been blamed for his murder. You took out a knife and you carved out a whole lot of fritzies. Fritzie, you bring up a good point. Help. Let's dry mouth to mouth. Okay.

No, my God, this is hard to watch. No, no, no. Okay, you guys are doing good. This is gonna work. Is he looking? At fritzie, is he looking? He hates this. He hates this when Cucumberuckabalana and i french

and drives him wild alright well i guess fritzie has to fix all of our problems again what are you gonna do fritzie? what are you gonna do? well i can't believe i'm saying this but we gotta hide the body and we gotta pretend to be santa and then we gotta deliver all the presents to all the good boys and girls around the world And then tomorrow we'll figure out how to get out of this murder charge

Okay, no People are gonna be suspicious. They just not show in there. We're in an elf union. The solution here is not to do more work It's not to it's not to pick up another job. I just worked my ass off. I'm not delivering presents. You getting me? I'm gonna go down for the murder of the most beloved magical creature in the world good luck look look First of all nobody said murder, okay, obviously We basically just began the autopsy which is something that they would have done anyway So we get basically all we did is we get a head start on an autopsy if it looks like a duck and it sounds like a duck It's a murder.

It's a murder. That's great. That's great. The most beloved magical creature of all time is clearly Tom Bombadill. Pfft. What we do, I do, we have to leave that way. We have to leave that way.

Here's what we do. Here's what we do. We stage it so that it looks like it was some sort of like accident, right? Stage it like a play. Like, like, like, we can, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh that way if that's what you're looking for is uh... what's the difference between the two what's up you get to see you titties and money can nevermind titties please i don't know i said it like that he'll let off i didn't say it like that it's polar bears

that was a human right what's got into you i don't know what panic i thought we were gonna get caught we gotta go i'm caught i'm in charge now Let's see what's got into you. I don't know what panic I thought we were gonna get caught. We gotta go. I'm in charge now. I'm the boss. We're going. Okay, let's, let me take my chair.

I hand the trusty-dandy elf pocket knife and dig a little hole in the ground. And just let's slide these hearts in here and cover it up. And I'll mark it with a little x just in case we need those hearts later. Let me, uh, yank off Santa's hat and his coach and his pants. No, we're making this look worse. How about we, um, we build a snowman around Santa and then people just think it's a snowman and that way we can hide the body. We'll get in his sled. We'll deliver all the presents. Don't we? We'll be heroes. We'll use his suit. Oh, you're right. You need to make a

suit. You told me no. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. I was wrong. We're not going to be able to fit into his suit, though. I mean, we're all 35 pound creatures. He's a enormous magical being. What we need to do is we each need to take a component of him, huh? Like you guys familiar with the novel Voltron? Remember when we read the novel Voltron? The Neil, Neil Abute, novel Voltron? Yeah, so it's like someone's gonna be standing his legs. So like a snowman, someone's gonna be standing

like, you know, his jelly belly, and then someone will be standing his head. Wow. And we'll do no arms. I call feet. I'll go head. I call feet. I Go ahead. I mean, I was good at called jelly belly So it's it works out great for me It makes it feel like you guys were leaving me with jelly belly

But that's where I'm most comfortable. Okay, let's combine so we have a pair of feet Directly on top of the feet is a big old belly directly on the belly is ahead looks normal Looks normal to me. Perfectly nailed it. No notes. All right, so the Santa Snowman looks good. I got a question for the two of you. Coco Mellon, Nimbler. Yeah. Do either of you get along with the rainbears and be honest. Absa-fucked, lootly, not.

Yeah, I used to date Vixen. No. Things ended bad. Was it ear fault or Vixen's fault? Vixen's fault. When it was definitely ear fault. I walked in on her eating salt out of Dancer's asshole. Dancer?

Who's Dancer? Dancer from the club? From the other drafts present? Yes. They have names, okay? Their names aren't just DADSER! Okay, I don't know. They're polar bears, drippers.

But they have names and per- Learn a little something. Learn something about them. I make 38 million toys a year. You think I have time for names? I don't even know what a saw horse is. Wait, I made someone a saw horse? You make construction tool. Hold on, hold on.

Some kids get dirty It gets get million toys a year You make 30 million toys a year. How much did you make? I made four ps5 this year To look at three pictures on the internet and have to build a ps5 That's right. To look at three pictures on the internet and have to build a PS5. I wish I could make these fucking things faster. You can't find them. They're so fucking hard to get because I got to make a buy hand from a quite frankly.

I think it's not even a real photo. I think it's an artistic renderer. Because... Can I just say you are single-handedly ruining the second hand market for gaming systems? Hey, fuck me! I don't fucking care about the second hand market for gaming systems. Hey, fuck me! I don't fucking care about the second hand market for different these people! I'm trying to build little boys and girls PS5s! You know, fuck it hard, that is! I made 29 million toys this year, and you made four PS5s.

Wait, there's Lemius, you this! How many PS5s did you make this year? Four. Sure is what he was! And I will say they took up the majority of my year from being honest. this year. Oh, what? She was, what is it? What? And I will say they took up the majority of my year from being honest. Yeah, I'll say I made 38 million toys and I'll say 37 million of those were Xbox ones. And they're just sitting on a shed. Okay, but we need to focus.

All right. We need to focus. We have to focus. Okay. Okay, Coco Mellon. Yeah. Go over. Tristras smooth things over I don't know I don't get along with him. I'm drunk. You had like one beer. I'd go over try to smoke things over Hey look what is it's a tiny elf

Look at this little prick hey What's this elf doing out so late at night? I think the wind's gonna pick him up. Oh Hey Mario the weegee, please let me just let me go talk to the right there. Please Right there Very funny voices right there. No, I don't know your life Mario. Yeah, I guess so I I wasn't privy to whatever Conversation was happening before I worked I was a plug. I you don't know my life. I was a plumber I sucked the shit out of pipes for 37 years Mario what a Mario I'll let him go.

No, he needs to know. He needs to know. You make a final meet. You make one of my voice. No. I suck a shit out of pipes for 37 years. That's what I have, is it? Every night I come home to sauteed mushrooms.

That's not the meal. A man I cannot survive unsalted mushrooms alone. Let's all bring your domestic life in. I live in a half studio apartment with my brother. Okay, Coco Melon has stopped and is talking to Mario and Luigi. Nimbler, you gotta go. You gotta go over there and talk to them.

To Mario and Luigi? No, to the reindeer. Okay, okay, fine. I don't even know why they're here, by the way. They're here to just party and drink our booze. They're f***ing gross. Go ahead. Let's see, I don't wanna talk to Vixen.

Don't wanna talk to Dancer. Who are the other ones? Oh, Donner. Hey, Donner. Or can I call you Jeffrey? Um, no. You can call me Donner. Can I help you?

We're about to take off. Doing stretches. Oh, doing stretches. Bleh, never realized how to do that. Oh, old you do vocal warmups before you fly the sleigh. Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow. Clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop. Hey, listen, Donna, you and I, we haven't spent a lot of time together. Do you want to shut up a throne?

I swiped a bottle. Do I want to drink and drive? No. Well, technically you're the car. What? What? Excuse me? Well, if the one-to-one is you're not really driving you're flying, plus you are the vehicle. So that would be like if a car, if you dumped a pint of vodka in a car's gas tank, it would run fine, I'm sure.

What? The sleigh is the car, and we are the drivers. gas tank it would run fine I'm sure. What? The sleigh is the car and we are the drivers. You think we don't wear not the ones like the main driving car? But when you drive a car the car is not behind you. I mean I guess it is to some degree, but you don't sit on the hood and listen, I'm bad at analogies.

Can we? Whoa is this whoa is this put room? Oh Blitzon you live it up to your names Like I know my diva do you what are you doing Blitzen is on the thinnest device? He's like one Strike away from I'm in the back. I don't even do any steering. It's just I just leg power for blitzin. I just leg power list donner. Um listen I have a secret. I can't tell anyone but it is of the utmost importance that me

Coco melon and and fritzie we all are able to count on your Confidentiality and trust and that you all fly us around tonight and trust and that you all fly us around tonight. Um, what? No, you cannot go on a joy ride on the most important night of the year. What if I told you I would? Dasha and dancer would think this is so stupid. So there is a dancer. Oh, yeah, there is. Oh, interesting. One second. Hey, Kalka, hey, Kalk Koko Bell and Fritzie. Yep. I forgot what I was gonna say. Sorry, I'll be right back.

Okay. Okay, Mario, Luigi, where were you were dressing me down? I was telling you. I share a half a studio apartment with my brother. And the only thing we ever wear is the same overalls, the same undershirts, the same hats and socks. Did Nimbler already just walk in and talk to the reindeer? What the fuck am I doing here? Um, wait. You're telling us?

Come on, dash her, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, blitzen, come here. The same thing. I was already here, man, but I'm also like miles away. If that makes sense. Listen, yes, I don't have time to explain it in other ways. Oh my God, I literally am not qualified to do any other job. Flying slaves is like the only thing we do. Oh my God, oh my God.

Whoever killed them, we think it was a sniper. Whoever killed him took off his clothes, took out all four hearts, and then made a snowman to round him. So if you hear about that in the news, know that wasn't me. You're covered in blood. Is that different blood? Well, that's from something that I was in.

I was doing a blood crawl. What's a blood crawl? You know. If you have as you get a board in, no. Thank you, Blitz. Thank you. No worries. Listen, surround everyone up and attach yourselves to this sleigh.

And we have to make an emergency call. We're going to be Santa tonight. Me, Cocoa, Mountain and Fritzy. Do you have the list, the naughty and nice list? No, but we'll figure it out. We'll test each kid. Nitro, I have the list. Apparently the killer left it behind

It was it looks like it was a robbery a sniper robbery, you know just a classic sniping Rob stop And exactly and the killer left it behind so we do actually have the list. We have the list Oh, I was gonna say we can wake up each kid and be like is murder bad and if they say yes No toys if they say no, wait, no swap that Yeah, so don't worry don't worry about it because we do have the list so we are we Prancer dancer Vickson Blixen whatever. We're all good on lists Okay, well if we do this you have to promise you'll protect us if things go south We don't have other skills. We just know how to fly slaves

Well, we just know how to make toys, but I guess, you know, if we all just stick to the story and play it straight, and it may hopefully... Stick to the story. Aren't you telling the truth? Yeah, but you know, the story's a cloak illness, like a story of the truth. Every truth is a story, and also I have a partner. Every... Is that a swathe your fears? No, not at all. Okay, so you know what you have to do, right? You have to quietly and inconspicuously land on every roof. You know what family-

Hey, sorry. Donner, you know what? Fuckin' forget it. We're gonna go with the backup rain beer. No, no, no, I'm just saying like I'm a little too mean. Hornigary. A fragile Tom. Yeah. Yeah, give me one minute. I'll be right out.

No, no, no, no, no, no, don't go with them. We'll go. We'll go. Are you sure? Yes, I'm just trying to help you. So you're going to have to land on every roof quietly. You're going to go down the chimney. Okay. Santa does it every year. Why are you saying it like at some sycophine task? We know what we're

doing. Okay, these three tiny elves are gonna be able to eat that many cookies. You're right. We have to eat cookies. You have to eat them. So what I would do is you need to get high as a f***ing kite. So you're hungry enough. John IP. Exactly. So just're hungry enough. I'm John IP. Exactly. So I'm just saying there needs to be a better plan in place, but if you want to just go,

let's just go then. Actually, I'm doing some back of the envelope math here. Santa was supposed to leave like an hour and a half ago, so we're already pretty far behind. We're going to have to skip over France, Spain, Portugal. I'm not gonna say that. At this point, Europe is pretty much on its own. Like we just... Let's just do the coastal elites. So wait. You know what? You're Portugal? Because you wanted to coast the elite. Listen, a CoCo melon. Co Melan, I feel a bad.

Luigi and I have a talk that we feel that we dressed you down. Please, on tonight of all nights, please take this gift from me, a Tannuki suit. It's like a raccoon tailed and you can fly. It's a Tannuki suit. Just to take it, it'll hurt his feelings if you refuse it. Please, and also take a disofloot. If you play this a fluid correctly, you can skip one level.

Okay, thank you. Thanks so much, guys. I don't know what to do with this crap. I don't want this shit. Just to hold on to it. It's like the fourth tinouki suit that they've given me. Just bury it, next to Santa Santa if we bury that next to Santa We can incriminate them in the murder yet absolutely Those guys alright so Fritzy and Nimbler you're gonna have to yell out our names in order are we won't be able to start

It's just sort of like the same as putting the key in the ignition Okay, so here we go on Dancer and Dasha and Donner and puts huh? No Okay, okay, okay Fritz, so you want to try? No, you're doing great. Okay on Donner and dancer and Rudolph and Tony Donner and dancer and Rudolph and Tony. Wait, I know I'm not on light here, but did you say horny Gary?

Because, no, he's a backup. He's a backup, never mind. I would play with all the starting lines tonight. We're going back ups. Okay, okay, no back ups. It's Christmas Eve, we're all been training for this all year. What do you mean? Wait, I think I remember a little little trick Santa taught me

Dramatic DDP VCC D.B. Diamond House page VCC D.B. On fashion dancer, prancer and vixen Comment and Cupid donner and blitzin Wow, listen to that hum we're up in the air Wait, did you say Rudolph is there a Rudolph? Well Rudolph, I think Rudolph was like a, is, map, did you ever see Rudy, the book Rudy? I didn't see it, but yeah, I read the audio book. I think it was like a feel good story where like Rudolph was it like Rudolph is more like a bench player and they just went one night they're like you can lead the sleigh,

but like that was just like a one time thing to make him feel good. And also, Rudolph is too famous now. The most famous right near, he's too good for us to do in cocaine off of a table in New York City tonight. And that's where Rudolph is. And by the way, you should skip his house because he abandoned us

and he left us and we let him lead the sleigh. And this is how he repays us. He got famous and now let him lead the sleigh and this is how he repays us. He got famous and now he's doing cocaine with models in New York City. Oh, where's his house at? He has a house. He lives at a penthouse in New York City. Wow. He's part of the 1% he's a piece of shit and we hate him. We say we're gonna do the coastal elites so. Yeah, but hey, hey, hey, I mean, Nimbler,

Yeah? Level with me here. We're not gonna, we don't do presents for reindeer, right? Isn't it just humans? Wasn't that the whole deal is that we only do humans? Don't tell me I'm in fucking four PS5s for a god damn reindeer like a squirrel or something shit. It's not about, it's about who's not even who's nice.

I don't think they ever say it has to be human kids or human beings If I just went to God tonight if I made a ps5 for a puppy, I'm gonna shit myself. I spit I spit I just think when I get angry. That's what tends to happen Huh, I get in these fights. I get in these fights with my fucking daughter She wants to run around doing everything She wants I find in her whole lifestyle. We get new screaming arguments and I shit myself And I think she does it because she knows that I'll do it. Oh, I think she pushes the button because she knows

I'll have to stop the argument Go home immediately and change my pants. Oh look. We're landing in Martha's vineyard Holy shit here. Hey, that's so cold. Okay, land on the roof gently, gently. How do I put it in neutral? Oh, I'm pretty good with the roof on that one. Okay, okay.

All right, let's go, go, go, go, go, fast, fast. Get out of this house, get out of this house. Next house, next, next, next, next. Okay. Oh, they had security cameras. I'm, that's not gonna look good tomorrow. Okay, well though, we can't worry about, what's gonna happen tomorrow?

We only have to worry about tonight. Okay. Landed, all right. Let's go. All right, Jit Lee, there we go. There we go, Jit, that's very good. Why did you crash through the roof on the first layer bit? I didn't, I wasn't.

Have you ever done that? Has he ever asked for that? Okay, I'm in the feet, so I'll go down the chimney first. Great. Okay, and let me just, yeah. Okay, I'm down. Everyone else, slide down. Belly next, here we go Yeah. Okay, I'm down. Everyone else, slide down. Bellynext, here we go.

And I'm down. We a good time doing this, but we got to keep in mind what we are. We are three 20 to 35 pound green health versus. Wrong. Okay, let's see here. Wearing the dad and remnants of a murderous costume, seeking good-to-house delivering presence for children. Okay, let's just go.

We can say like that, it sounds bad. Let's see here. Okay, there's a pewter, there's a pewter candlestick. I'm gonna take that and it looks like some nice, China, let me just put that in the bag. Wait, no, we're not dealing. Nimbler, Nimbler, what are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are we doing? What are we doing then? Why also? We're delivering. We're casing it. This is not a pack of Pena, leave a Pena. We're, we're not casing it for

Did it wait what are we doing here? Listen we had a lot to drink okay, you have to friends if you have to understand we had a lot to drink it back put it back Put it back. Okay, it's all back. It's all back. I'm gonna take pull the red sack. Oh, okay Well, they're getting one of your ps5's Oh, the red sack. Oh, okay. They're getting one of your PS5s. That's pretty cool. Wow, they're having a lot of fun. What house gets one? They have what? They already have one already. What the fuck?

Well, they do live in Martha's Vineyard. Let's, oh, hey, there's cookies in here. Let me, I'm gonna, let me light up a joint real quick. Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that tight tight that's it pass it pass it there you go here. Oh Oh boy Okay, then a cough the auto cocoa melon next All right, so guys we just ate all the cookies and we also ate them out of house and home. At the first house we went to, we just ate all of their stacks. Their Christmas ham for tomorrow.

I'm full. I don't know. We're gonna do this every now and then. I have a thinly sliced prosciutto pieces. I haven't smoked, and I think 20, 30 years, I think that they're making the weed way stronger now. Yeah, I got it. I got it. It's insane.

And I just tore through the cupboards of that house. How, it feels like we've been here a week. Oh, the lights just turned on. Oh, we gotta go, we gotta go. We gotta grab the PS5, grab the PS5, grab the computer. Ugh, I'm in, uh, Jimmy, all right. All right, I had it all. What the heck happened? you guys were down there for like four hours What okay? I got it. I got the pewter candle stick. I got it all baby

You guys robbed the place we don't have time. We have to keep going. Yeah, okay? Okay, okay, here's what here's the promise that we have to make next house We don't rob it. We don't eat all the food and we certainly don't We don't rob it, we don't eat all the food, and we certainly don't Investigate if people's hearts are still beating in the traditional method that elves know how to do. We don't do that I can't make that promise. I can't make that. Oh, hey listen I put all that stuff on offer up and I already got I already got someone interested No, in the pewter canals thick in the fine China It's that way if that house that was just wit to that seems like a trap. Yeah, don't

But I want to. Don't accept it. It feels like. It feels like a trap. It feels like they know that they're missing those items. And it feels like if you go back there, they're just going to take them back. Do we have time to swing back around? Maybe I'll go, yeah, we'll have to cut off.

Okay, let's just throw out some cities that we have to and we cannot visit. Because there's just too many people. Okay, so far we've been in Richmond. We've been gone for four hours and we've been going for one PS5 to Martha's Vineyard. No, we actually took it back. We ended up taking the PS5 back. So we've been on it. We have another PS5. We have three hours until sunrise. Okay, wait. We're not going to Richmond.

I'm so fucking hot. Richmond's good. Wait, we're not gonna Richmond No Richmond no DC Wait Tampa Bay Let's stop at the liquor store and then go to the next house. Amen. Oh, you know what I've always wanted to go Can we go here next? I've always wanted to go. Can we go here next? I've always wanted to go. Just put the name alone. Kissimmee St. Cloud.

All right, let's go. Doesn't that sound like a magical place? Kissimmee St. Cloud. Oh, the air here. Go into the fast. Damn, man. Oh, we're here. This is a great night.

Right landing. OK. OK, where is this house? This seems more like a factory. Look, the list says what the list says. It says that there's kids in there. We have to deliver presents, okay? Okay, okay.

There's no, there's no, there's no, there's no chimney on this factory. So we will have to probably just like break a window. Got it. I brought some C4 everyone step back And we're in okay nice breach West hall clear Stay frosty everyone stay frosty. Oh my god. This is a ps5 factory. This is a ps5 factory. They make these We're in a Sony factory. What the heck?

What the fuck what this sucks to find why have I been working so hard if this is a thing Hold on hold on Are you telling me that these humans are manufacturing their own toys? Yeah, of course wait and all these ps5s have a label I'm to say sell on eBay for $800 And all these PS5s have a label I'm to say sell on eBay for $800? They're doing this themselves? Okay, we're following this place. What's going on? What's going on?

We're f***ing destroying this place. We're wiping off the map. What town was this? What did you say this was? Cassimmy St. Cloud, the head for me. Cassimmy St. Cloud. You're f***ing God. You're God, Cassimmy St. Cloud.

All right, I'm lighting a bunch of little fires. What are you guys doing? I'm putting a fire. I'm also letting a little fire To all the past Oh, it's getting hot. It's getting hot. We gotta go. We gotta go. We gotta go. All right Oh, it's getting hot, it's getting hot, everyone. Let's get hot, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go. What? Let's go to NYC, big apple baby, let's do this. Let's do it.

Let's go. Okay, okay, we're here, New York City. Okay, first order of business. We are out of weed, we are out of liquor. We gotta find some, okay. We gotta find some, hey, a, a, a, a, a, a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Rudolph's house and get some of his Yeah Rudolph is top of the list it turned out his last name is a a Anderson Okay, I guess it's gonna be a Anderson we're going to Rudolph's house you guys you promised we wouldn't go to Rudolph's It's like you don't even care. We've we've literally not done anything yet. It's like 4 a.m

Listen listen. We're going to Rudolph's house to rob the place. Yeah We're going to Rudolph's house to rob the place. Yeah, it's not gonna give it Rudolph gifts Also if you look closely at the contract we signed we said we would not be rude to Dolph Lungren Loophole if I see that in my tea side this motherfucker I'm going to be as rude as I possibly can't I always forgetting what the MIT. Yeah, it's something like that Incredibly smart. Yeah, very smart guy Okay, we're here. What do we do? We ring the bell. Yeah, it's something like that. Incredibly smart. Yeah, very smart guy. OK, we're here. What do we do? We ring the bell.

Wow, we are so high up. I've never been on top of a penthouse. Yeah. And a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows from the cocaine. All of the other reindeer, reindeer used to laugh and call me names. Like, puttokyo, they never let poor Rudolph dance me. He's wearing an open bathrobe.

He was a pistol tucked into his boxers. He's like Alfred Molina, but tonight's that poem. Like, buttockly, backbags. Oh, shuddy just shot his pistol. Oh my god. Ow. Don't worry, fucking nights. That poem. Like, but not fully. Back, bang. Oh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, sh Then all the reindeer love to pull up as they shout it out with What he's the name is raindee is calling it a bed Oh, he went right past the bed to sit on the toilet and he oh Toilet oh, okay, so he's fast asleep with the toilet fast asleep on the toilet. Okay, okay Everybody in everybody in okay, break in's fast asleep. He's fast asleep on the toilet. Okay, look at everybody in, everybody in.

Okay, break you in. Hey, reindeer, before we go down. Hey, reindeer. Yeah. Fickson, hey, Donner. Yeah, let's go. Oh man, what's going on in? What's, what's the, you all helped write that song about Rudolph

because you made fun of him so hardcore. What's the joke about they called him Pinocchio? He has a red nose, not a long nose. Man, I'm here for a red time, not a long time man. Okay, let's go down, let's go down. Now tie a rope off and then rip out. Okay, we're in, we're in, he's asleep on the toilet, we just have to be very quiet. We have to get as much of the weed. I don't actually, I don't fuck with the go. Oh yeah. Okay, so you're doing the cookie, huh? Huh? No, the cookie. No, these are, this is cookies. I just want to do a huge rip of

cookie. No, you are. I eat cookies, wink, wink. Fine. You know what? I can't, you're, you're, you're almost 40. You're an adult. You can do what you please. You're telling me? I'm sticking sticking I'm sticking to liquor and weed You know Santa you know Santa's told me. I don't know if you've heard this straight from the horses mouth and by horse I mean Santa Cookies is code for cocaine. Okay Cookies coke you get it. Do you think Santa could go house to house to a million houses in one night without lines of cocaine in every house? Of course, I can't listen to a coke as soon as I can.

He needs cocaine in a little to come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come to the window! There's a blizzard. I don't even know how we're gonna fly off of the roof of this penthouse. Oh, no! Okay, okay. We need like a light source. We need someone who has like a lantern. Light source. Like that ticking guide to slay or we're never gonna save Christmas maybe like a flashlight or a lantern um

yeah like a light bulb or like an iPhone like with the iPhone flashlight or yeah um some sort of um okay okay okay okay oh what is that right this someone have a dark room in here? Oh no, that's... Holy shit. The cocaine has made Rudolph's nose go nuts! All right, I'm gonna grab the... A bucket of ice water. Throw it on the Rudolph.

Rudolph, wake up! Oh, he's dead! No, that's... Oh, he's dead! He's in the shit! He's in the shit! Let me cut off his nose! No, wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm out of it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm alive! Didn't even check my pulse started to cut off his nose. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait my room, makes a drink. Rudolph, cards in the table, Santa's dead. Santa's dead. Santa's dead? That little son of a bitch had that come into him. Wow, wow, unflinching cold as ice. He let me get teased by the other raiding deer for thousands of years and he never stepped in. He never said shit.

He never stood up for me, okay? And then it turns out I was the most talented of all of them And then all of a sudden he cared about me and he wanted to be making public appearances with me. That's not a bitch Glad he's dead. What do you need? How can you be so bitter? I'm looking over at your bed and Olivia Munn and John Mulaney are in it Yeah, you're having You're living it up. You're in New York, socialite. Can I be honest with you? Sure. We'd love it.

Sometimes I miss the skies. I miss the thrill of the Christmas. I miss. But who cares about that? I got a couple in my bed. Ha ha. Rudolph, what are you doing right now for the rest of the night? You're obviously wired.

We threw ice water at you. We tried to cut off your nose. Your high up okay. I'm gonna shoot my gun at my ceiling and talk about. Hey, buddy. Do you love those neighbors? Good, cute. He said to the pit house.

Oh, that's right, that's right. I guess not. Why don't you shoot your gun at the world ceiling? And by that, I I mean get up on that sleigh show those other reindeer who made fun of you whose boss and help us elves deliver the rest of these presents tonight. I'm in you son of a bitches let's do this montage of saving Christmas! Rudolph, there ain't no thing to do. And everybody ain't no.

Rudolph is Tokyo drifting through the sky, just sliding around airplanes. It's almost like Tony Hawk's Prosecator, where he'll grind on an airplane and then do a flip with the whole sleigh and everyone. It's really, really fascinating. We cut to four hours later, the sun is coming up on Christmas morning. Alright, we did eight houses. I think we're good. I think from now on, I think from now on, Christmas is a very, very, very exclusive event. Very specific. And every year, we only give toys to eight of the elite coastal socialites.

Mm-hmm, and that's it. It's not what I said. We did eight houses. I mean, it looks like we've robbed about eight houses. We have more presents in the slate than when we started. Yeah, I mean, you know, we didn't work there a while. So here's what I say.

We crashed this motherfucker into the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. We go back, we go back to the North Pole, kill that investigator. He has to go. Make it look like a polar bear accident. And we never tell anybody about this. What, you know what?

Let's dream a little bigger. Let's crash this into the ocean. All right. And then let's just sit and watch the sunrise together. You know what? Let's dream a little bigger. Let's crash this into the ocean. All right. And then let's just sit and watch the sunrise together. We're never gonna be allowed back to North Pole. Let's be honest with ourselves. Let's be honest.

We're never getting it back there. You know, I've always wanted to live in Sittelna. That's cool. I have this idea for a cookie business where we all live in a tree and Go by different names Like Kepler elves. That's already a thing. Oh You think your idea for a cookie business is your idea you saw commercials

Hey, you saw commercials We have to look like a united front. Okay, keep smiling keep smiling Okay, so reindeer you just disconnect the sleigh when you're over the ocean, then you guys fly home, let this motherfucker crash, we'll be in Sedona if you need us, but honestly, don't try to find us. Yeah, you've cleared to us now that you murdered Santa, you monsters.

Now we have to hatch a whole new Santa. We all have to go home and And then we we make a big Santa egg and then it cracks up and a new Santa gets born man Wait, so Santa's die all the time all the time dude of course They basically have heart attacks because they're born with four hearts and their hearts beat too much And so they're always just like stroking out and stuff And we ask too much of them. That's too much to do in one night But then the rain you're having or G and then a new Santa Hatches

Tails all the time So Santa's like a Phoenix or something? But sneer clay man because he's got the old Santa's memory And so he'll be looking for you f***ers like and you he will try to find you with the offseason Okay, um So I guess what we have to do is not be naughty or nice be some something in the middle so Santa's eyes never see us Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do that good luck flies away Well guys, uh, we ruined Christmas. You want to just drink this patron and maybe go get a coffee and an omelette or something? Maybe I could f*** up an omelette right now.

I could really f*** with an omelette right now. That sounds amazing. Can I tell you guys something? Yeah. Yeah. You're my best friends in the world. I was just about to say that, Coco. I was just about to say that as well. I mean, let's let's always live together. Yeah, Coco Helen. Just about to say that as well. I mean Let's let's always live together

Let's protect Right now that we're always live together always live together no matter what no matter where you're as kids Oh, I have a kid. Oh, oh, I'm here too. Shit I got to go home. No I gotta go All right,! I gotta go home. Alright, Nimbler just you and me. Hey guys, that was a fun night. It was a fun night. And Merry Christmas. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We see an egg.

Start to crack down the middle. Slow it first, then all at once. Woohoo! Woohoo! Fritzy. Nimbler. Coco Mellon. Santa is coming for you.

To be continued? Nope, nope, we promise we'll never come back to this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha