Hey Riddle Riddle - *UNLOCKED* Patreon Ep #1: State...Yo Business!

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

As a special treat we're dropping our first Patreon episode in the regular feed for folks to check out and hear what they're missing! In this one Adal tests Erin & JPC on their state knowledge, specifically for Indiana and Mass.! I'm sure we offend the residents but it's too late! It's already recorded! If you enjoy this episode please consider subscribing to the Patreon to receive bonus episodes every single Friday for only $5 a month! You can join at our PatreonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everyone, this is Adel. This is JPC. And this is Aaron? Oh, is it? Wait, why are, why are people hearing us on a Friday? Wait, is it Friday? Wait a dad got minute. I know what happened.

What happened? Oh, it's week through Friday. I'm in Zilohan. JPC heard his pissed on me and now I swap bodies. Is that what happened? What's the movie? JPC's in a fountain and then they swap bodies. Every time I watch this movie,

JPC heard his pisses on me. I swap bodies. So this is what J.B. Lee Curtis pisses off, I'll be like, I swap this. So this is what you're thinking. You're on the train. It's a Friday morning. You got a little notification on your phone saying that a Hey, little, little episode just dropped. What? What the heck is this? I better take the Twitter and can play. Well, before you do that, before you can play on Twitter, but by the way, we do want you to complain on Twitter. But before you do that,

let us explain what's going on. You're about to hear our first Patreon episode for free as part of our live feed. So everyone can check out the kind of bullshit and crap that we do with our Patreon. And you don't even have to pay for it. Yeah, we were talking the other day, we were like, what can we do for our listeners?

And we thought to maybe just, as a freebie, toss out the very first Patreon episode we did. And now this is, we did have a live show that's on Patreon, our Chicago live show was technically the very first episode we were on Patreon. But this is our first episode we did, exclusively for Patreon in the studio.

So check it out, enjoy it. What we hope is that you love it and you wanna hear more of it and you subscribe to our Patreon. I love it. It's a great episode. It's not my favorite. I love to the one that happened right after this. Yeah. So I think it's worth the dating game. Yeah, nice. I get to see someone. There's a joke in the episode three. So it's episode two of the Patreon where we do a joke that says baby baby crabbringoon and it's so funny and you've got to listen to it. So we hope that you enjoyed this episode. If you want more, you can always find us on Patreon at patreon.com slash heyrittlerittle for five dollars a month.

You can join the clue crew and get access to our weekly bonus episodes that drop every Friday just like this dropping on Friday. Whoa! So if you listen to the tune of it, it's on Friday! Patreon.com slash. Hey Rital Rital, have a bump in Friday. Oh, no! Have a, yeah, yeah, yeah, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, at all. You do something. Aaron, I can see our numbers and we just lost 5,000 listeners. Okay, well the people who are left can marry me. Oh, we just got 10,000 joy in there. Oh!

And it is March 1st, so what a perfect day, first of the month, as Bone Thugs and Harmony might pose. To cash your welfare checks, so you can subscribe to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash hate right over there. I'll have a great time. What are you saying? Hey, we're little patreon here's your welfare text The doctor was the month Sorry, oh heavens

Here we go. How does a podcast evolve after you practically solve to every fuzzy and riddy? You really gotta expand upon your limit and brand before your show gets really shitty. It turns to face reality and pray your personalities will carry this less minute pivot through. So here comes the content that nobody wanted. Now it's time for Hey Riddle Riddle's glue crew Hey, everybody. It's the clue crew. Welcome to our first patreon episode. I'm Adder or a fight shut the fuck up What are we? Yeah, I told you when Adder talks do not talk oh, and you're Adder oh, I'm so sorry

I've been confused I thought that you were some fucking washed up nobody cloud and my addle I don't know let me check the birthmark underneath my scrotum. Yep, it's What? What if you had a birthmark under your scrotum in the shape of Seattle? That would be very funny because then you have to see Adel every time you looked at it No It's in the shape of Montana, asshole. But, Dennis, asshole?

Seattle? That's right, Seattle. Put you on blast. You're Montana's asshole. This is JP. This is the type of garbage you can expect on our Patreon exclusive episodes. Who do we have here? I'm Aaron Keep.

Can you believe I grew to spend more time with the dumb dumb sweet knees? We're so excited to offer Patreon, just in terms of what we're gonna be doing. We don't know all that we're gonna be doing, but we do know some of it, and we're excited to do, we're not gonna keep doing riddles and puzzles on here, because Lord knows we have to save those,

because we're gonna run out on the main podcast. But we're gonna hope to do some game show style stuff, some road trip S games, some special one-offs, we have some live recordings that we're gonna put on here. So we're very excited to give you all kinds of different content. We hope you enjoy it. If you ever have ideas of what you'd like us to see,

if you ever have ideas of what you wanna hear from us or what you wanna see from us, please let us know. And thank you for your support. And people have been letting us know that they want more of the podcast. So we hope that this qualifies as that. And we hope that those people subscribe to the Patreon, because if not,

what the fuck? And if they didn't subscribe to the Patreon, they will not be hearing this. And less we release this episode to get people to subscribe to the patreon. Oh shit Fuck there's a fuck It's okay As everyone does in our patreon exclusive episode we bought a Zordon style computer

Someone poured water on me earlier That was me. I was trying to water the computer. That was a concept that I believed that I had read in a book. I had dreamed it. You're not supposed to pour water on computers. Ah, I had a little. So I'm going to be the driver for this first road trip here.

Oh nice. Ooh, look at that. Seenless driver for the road trip. And I thought since this is Patreon and people want to hear more of us, I thought the first episode might be a good chance to get to know us a little bit better and not only us, the better. The perfect song. I not only know us, but maybe get to know where we're from, our origin stories as the X-Men myself.

So I got bit by a spider. And that's when you. I got powers, and now I can climb up walls or buildings, but I don't use it for good. I use it for nothing. And I got bit by Superman. We're having rough sex. And I. That's right. The most boring superhero. That's having rough sex. And I- That's right, the most boring superhero, okay? This is very rough sex.

Oh, I was like, bite me, I want you to bite me, I want to feel it, and he bit me, and I was like, I wanted you to bite me on my butt. If I had to have sex with one superhero, it would not be Superman. Because you got the super sperm. Snooze, snooze, snooze. Oh, okay.

Did you know that this, and this is a fact, this is science. If Superman comes inside of you, it's like a shotgun blast and it blows out the back of your head. Yeah. I want to have sex with Wonder Woman. Where's the company that gets out of you? Wait, you have sex with Wonder Woman? Well, I would have sex with Wonder Woman.

That last of. I have sex with, who else would I have sex with? Green Lantern? Oh, Captain America. Oh, yeah. I'm not dead. Yeah, that's true. But don't you think Captain America would be boring too? Oh, Captain America, because I'm not dead. Yeah, that's true. But don't you think Captain America would be boring too?

Oh, no. He's from the old times. So I feel like he'd be like, I feel like he put that shield over your face. No, he wouldn't. Yeah, well, anyone would put a shield over your face. That'll help you. You fucking ugly piece of shit. You could have paid your ad-ing.

You could get the whole to fuck you. Who would I like to have sex with? That's a super hero. Ant-man. Ant-man, crawl inside your prostate. Yeah. Starts to stimulate it. Make it small fucking fun.

I'm so happy my parents are gonna buy this. Oh. I'll give my parents a free subscription. Yeah, we won't give them a free subscription. We're all gonna give our parents free subscription to their parents. Sorry, five bucks. We have one rule parents pay Boston parents pay

I'm ready for whatever you want to think of what superhero bad man. I wouldn't what I have I feel like I mean Silock is the classic answer or kitty pride. Okay. I would be Batman because I've always wanted to fuck a billionaire Think of all the gadgets he might know Ariel yeah, fuck Ariel My favorite superhero probably a little from the Rugrats I'm just think that's my favorite superhero Wait, we transitioned from fucking into the favor, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's my fucking favorite. Oh, I got it. Let me think of his name. I think it's pretty clear. The favorite. That's what it is. Go on, go on, go on.

Cause he always says in umbrella, so I don't have to put on this. We have 50. My favorite superhero, dead stop. Mary Poppins is not a superhero. Well, dead stop is also not a superhero that's dead pooled by the other. That's right. So I would want to fuck Mr. Fantastic. Well, Densop is also not a superhero that's dead pool by the other boy. That's right.

So I would want to fuck Mr. Fantastic. Oh, because he's so stretchy. Because he's so stretchy. I would want to fuck shoes. Oh, black Panther. Oh yeah, I would want to fuck shoes storm the invisible woman because that's what I fucked for most of my 20s. Oh, I, okay.

Yeah, I didn't have a lot of sex. That's what I had sex with invisible people. That's as weird. Love, boy. I'm having fun. I think this is, no, I think this is the picture. Every episode is what superheroes do we want to find? I don't want to fuck anyone, but if I had to.

Got in my head, Punisher. Cause you never gonna make it. He would put a gun in my head. You know he said yes, and I have to fuck the Punisher. Oh, Daredevil, cause it's senses are so heightened. You know anything you're gonna do, you're gonna get a good reaction. I don't wanna fuck Daredevil,

cause you'd be like, you know, it's crazy. Me not wearing a condom, but I'd be like, no, put out a condom at. You're actually putting out a condom. And he's like, wouldn't it be risky and crazy? If I didn't. So you think the Daredevil talks like that, man? He kind of does.

They all talk that way when they put the mask on. Let's get nuts, I'm Daredevil. All right, here's what we're going to do for our first episode. So I talked about getting to know our origin, and then we went off on 40 minutes of super-year-old fucking. So we're gonna get to know each other's states. I feel like to know where you come from is a big part of who you are. I would say my state is unstable. So I'm gonna call this segment state dot dot dot

yell business. Okay. Do we think that's kind of fun? Aaron is, are our eyes closed? Yeah. Hold on. I got a kind of fun. When you said that, I was like, oh, I'm having them. I'm having the kind of fun that you want it to end immediately. That's the kind of fun I'm having. I'm ready.

Okay, so here's what we're going to do. So I've pulled up information about Indiana and Massachusetts, which are the two states that you two are from. Born and bred. Aaron, how many years do you live in Massachusetts? 18. I lived in Indiana for 21. 21 minutes.

12 grams. Born and your mother raised to the border to get you away. Yeah. So I spent a lot of time in Indiana. So, Aaron, have you ever been in Indiana? Yeah, a bunch. I've been to Boston. Have you? Twice. Did you have a lobster roll? No, because I was a lot of time in Indiana. Aaron, have you ever been to Indiana? Yeah, a bunch. I've been to Boston. Have you?

Yeah, twice. Did you have a lobster roll? No, because I was a vegetarian both times. I went once when I was college in college to see my friend Laura who went to BC, and I went once last year for work to go to the cops. Great, I guess I'll... We've been getting a lot of messages about people from Boston who want a live show there. And honestly, please...

Here's what I'll say. And I should say this on the main podcast as well, but I'll say it's to the Patreon fans early because you get this exclusive hot take. You can't just say come to this town. We need to be brought out somewhere. Yeah. So don't just say, please come to Canada,

please come here. We want, oh God, we want to, but we have to be brought out there. So if you want to bring us out somewhere or bring us out there. So if you wanna bring us on somewhere, bring us on somewhere. If you want us to come to your city, send us an email with your city and the subject line, and then also CC on that email, 400 people

that would buy tickets to the show. We will do shows in your rec room. So here's what we're gonna do. So first off, we're going to talk about Massachusetts. Cool. Is that the right way to say it? Massachusetts. I feel like my whole life, I avoid saying that state because it's such a trouble for my mouth.

Yeah, it sounds like it's needs. Massachusetts. Can you spell it, JPC? Mouth. Troma SSAS, C-U-H-T-S-S. Massachusetts. M-A-S-S-A-C-H-U-E-T-T-S. Mouths S S S S C U H T S S Massachusetts M a S S a C H U E T T S

No, M a S S a C H U S E T T S. Oh boy Massachusetts Massachusetts and ladders so here's we're gonna do it. I'm not good at spelling I'm going to I'm going to ask you some questions about Massachusetts. You're See me go to a Massachusetts. Yes fuck to ask you some questions about Massachusetts. You're actually me question about Massachusetts. Yes. Fuck. Not gonna know in any thing about Indiana.

Okay, okay. State, yo business. State your business. Aaron State is yo business. It's my business, yes. So I'm gonna ask you some questions about Massachusetts. You're gonna take a guess, take a gander. Aaron, after JPC answers, you can chime in

if you think you know the answer or you actually do the answer. And then I will chime in with to correct you Okay, and I'm only going to be able to guess things based on what I know about Boston But I will try to take that through the lens of knowing Aaron. Yes, and through the lens of knowing Aaron gotcha So Massachusetts state or no state or no, I'm gonna say state. I'm gonna say state. I'm a state No, it's a township. Oh, I did. So JPC

Commonwealth what I need to know from you is what is the what is the nickname for Massachusetts? Okay, the nickname for Massachusetts or man Ma ma come here come on look at this freaking man Is it Ma? Oh Ma. Ma. I think you're thinking of abbreviations. Okay.

What is the nickname, not abbreviations. What is the nickname for the state? So my state, I was born in Illinois. Illinois is the Buckeye state. Is the land of Lincoln. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. So the land of Lincoln, that's its nickname. Why is it's nickname longer than its name?

So it's, oh, so Massachusetts is the, oh, okay, okay, so it's something about Massachusetts. It's probably old because Massachusetts are super old. You are, when you say old, you are very close in a certain regard. Okay. I would call it, I would say, what a founding father is fucking grew up. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are, what are C-A-P-C and Aaron, you are there two of the founding fathers, old mutters, and you're having a Tea Party in Boston. Here I am, John Adams. Hello. Hey, John. Hey, John. What do you want? Nice to see you. Sam Adams. God, his tea is called to call. Why don't you have a freaking beer, okay? I poured you a beer.

I'm a brumaster. Sam. Yeah, John. You're BSX. Hey, John. Cheers. Cheers, motherfucker. Cheers, motherfucker.

I'm glad you don't enjoy my beer. I'm gonna go down to Philadelphia and hang out with my bunch of new best friends and we're gonna found this goddamn country and you can keep being drunk. Oh yeah, you're gonna go down to Philadelphia. You know what, I'm gonna go down on, John being drunk. Oh, yeah, you're gonna go down to Philadelphia You know what I'm gonna go down on John Quincy. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna suck your sons dick Ab if you code near Abigail my son oh, oh Abigail. I can she can fucking go smell a snoop

She's right me let us go salt pita. It's ridiculous. Oh God Sam. Hey Sam. Hey John Fuck you fuck fuck off fuck off Brady is the greatest quarterback. He's great. He's quarterback Cheers is there in front of a lot of Massachusetts that state motto is no no no not the state motto. That's gonna be another question This is the nicknames and it may it may have many so each state I don't know if we do that's the correct answer the base date. It's the base date. Yes. The reason I said you're close with all all Bay is because of the seasoning old

Okay, I did not know that I can't which is also what I exclusively date, which is old bays Bays. Oh, I'm based on horse Aaron. It is your turn probably. No, it's still name Massachusetts. We're staying on Massachusetts. Uh, JPC, what do we think? We're thinking about time to think about all the same questions.

Well, that's part of the fun. I will have no idea. Okay. I don't know Indiana. What do we think the state? What do we think the state motto is? Uh, and just to give you an example, this is my favorite that I found. Nebraska's state motto is Nebraska.

Honestly, it's not for everyone. Is that right? Oh no. So I know what Massachusetts's state motto is. So I know that they can be kind of funny. Yeah, Massachusetts's state motto is racism alive and well. Yeah. If their state motto is... If you're Irish, you're fine.

God, their state motto is... And I have two listed there. Our state motto is, our Democrats are not like other Democrats. We drown someone at Chepp Aquatic. So we have one of the state... They killed that girl. There's two state motto. One is just, I guess, a random state motto state model and the other is what's on the license plate

So I have both of those and they're two different ones Land of presidents is that one of them anything about presidents? Fuck anything about the founding fathers. Oh, no, I mean it got all If so very loosely is it anything about the Founding Fathers? No, I mean, I don't know. If so, very loosely. Is it anything about Springsteen? Yes. Remember Bruce Springsteen,

Born and Raised in Massachusetts? Is it the Boss' backyard? Yeah, yeah. Everyone in New Jersey loves Springsteen because he was born in Massachusetts. It's all the same to me. I got damn it, I don't know. Take a guess. It's all the same to me. I got damn it. I don't know. Take a guess. State motto is

Mind your fucking business. That's a pretty good guess. Aaron, do you know what? I don't. So one of them is make it yours. Make it yours. I know that. And the other one that's listed on the license plate is the spirit of America. Oh, that's so vague. That could be really easy. JPC, what do we think that State Bird be? Oh, I used to know this. Is it any sort of loon? I feel like a bunch of loons and messages that's for you. Catch what? Drift.

The State Bird, oh, the middle finger, of course. It is the middle finger. That's kind of it. Because you'll fuck yourself. You won't fuck yourself. The Massachusetts State Bird. The Mississippi. Clive in the bird.

I love that.. Massachusetts State Bird. Clive in the bird. I love that. The Massachusetts State Bird. Is it something like, is it like the turkey? Oh, it's a styrofoam bird cut out from a dug good donut. Oh, trash bird. Trash bird. If you live in Massachusetts and you gave to this picture, I'm, thank you so much.

We love you. Oh, I love you so much. Yeah, Massachusetts State Bird is a Boeing 747. Here's what I'll say. I didn't realize this was a actual bird. I've heard this said before. A boob, a finch. But I didn't know it was a real, a real bird. Aaron, do you know?

Yeah, it's a blue tape boobie. I knew at some point. At the right. Do you know at some point? Do you want to say now or? It's a brown, it's like a brown. Or when I say it, do you want to just go, oh yeah, that was it. No, it's gonna sound familiar when you say it.

I'm sure. It is a chickadee. Oh, yeah. familiar when you say it I'm sure it is a chickadee oh Chappacwittic, but I don't know what a chickadee is Ted Kennedy killed that girl in the chickadee river What's the bird that goes all birds? Oh? That's a cat calling for If you know someone will know You know who's gotten really into bird watching? If you know someone will know. You know who's gotten really into bird watching?

Garbage brother in law, Mitch. No. Does he live in Massachusetts? Yeah. Is bird watching what they call like looking for women on this tree? Yeah. Does he is, is he a southe? No, he's from Maine, but he lives in that's right.

We're in Massachusetts. We're in Massachusetts. Remember because I met that joke about him being dumb and poor. I guess like, I, yeah, I don't know if I want to say this. Oh, okay. What is address? Oh, that, that'll say. He was like just north of Boston. Okay. So he's a Northe. Northe. What are, if, if we're referencing Boston, what are some like, Southeast, the term I know, what are some other terms, like in terms of like, all you from, uh, Essex or like, what are some? The biggest one is of like all you from Essex or like what are some the biggest one is Western mass like everyone in

Anyone anyone who lives past Worcester. Worcester. That's a good one. Worcester. Anyone who lives past Worcester. And that's where the sauce is made Like oh, you're from Western mass. Okay. You hit like yeah, yeah, what do you oh do you go to six flags every day? Fuck you. That sounds fun. Yeah, that sounds cool. You're a hick if you go to six flags every day? Fuck you. That sounds fun, isn't it? Yeah, that sounds cool. You're a hick if you go to six flags every day. Do you know how expensive six flags are? Oh, you live in Cape Cod. I do all your friends leave in the winter. You have your friends in the winter.

You live in Cape Cod. What is John Kennedy's ass taste like? Oh, you live in the North Shore. Must be nice. Yeah, sure. You think what you're saying was sure. Must be nice. The thing about Massachusetts is the high schools

give each other like town nicknames, use infections, give each other town nicknames based on the town. So like Rockland, we call Rockpile. Duck's Barry, we call Deluxe Barry. I'm trying to think of other. I just really like it. What Waymeth was laymeth?

I like the idea of how Michigan has pure Michigan, like those nice sounding ads. I like the idea of no sure must be nice. Must be nice. It must be nice. I'm from a place called Hangum, because it was a rich town. They call it a splincom or chachangum.

It's very rich. So you're rich as hell? No, but people I grew up with are very, very rich. But Aaron, part of this Patreon episode is getting to know us. So what's your family's yearly income? Oh, okay. I can't wait to talk about it. JPC, what do we think the Boston? What do we think the Massachusetts state flower is? It's actually this a trick question. It's a D flowering. Ricky's freaking daughter.

Holy shit, that's correct. I don't know nothing about Boston. There's state flower. Here's what I'll say. This is another one where I didn't know this. This was an actual flower. It's got to be like a swamp flower. Chiquity.

Chiquity. Chiquity. I don't think I know this. Some flower. I didn't know this was a real flower. And it chickity. Chickity. Chickity, uh, I don't even know this. I don't even know this. I didn't know this was a real flower and it has a lot to do with history. Oh, okay. Founding flower.

Very close. Really? Very close. Founding founders. What other flowers do you know that are historic? The Mayflower. Yep. Is it the Mayflower?

Their flowers, the Mayflower. Wow. Which I didn't know was a real flower. Which is why they say April showers bring May flowers. Their flowers, the Mayflower. Wow. Which I didn't know was a real flower. Which is why they say April showers bring Mayflowers. Oh wow. Where you feel trip of all time, Plymouth Rock. 45 minutes on a freaking bus. You get out and you look down at a rock

that's just pile of sand and they're like, back on the bus. Man. Christopher Columbus, couldn't admit it genocide. Let's see a quick scene. JPC, you're gonna be a teacher who doesn't know what they're doing and is kind of bored with their occupation, who's taking Aaron and the rest of her schoolmates on a trip to Plymouth Rock.

Are we going to six flags? Where are we going? No, we're not going to Weston, May. Like some sort of... Are we going to the North Shore? Must be nice. Must be nice. Can we stop at Brigham's and get Sundays?

Yeah, we can stop at Brigham's and get Sundays. Yeah, we can stop at bring-ups and get Sundays What are we all rich? All right, we're not off from bling him. Yeah, come on. You come on where we go and I don't want All right, everybody off the bus. We're here Everybody off the bus everybody Yeah, so here we are this is I rock this is Johnny P on it No, don't do not this in the rock. This do not do not do not do not be on this rock He in the rock will be this freaking hilarious Donnie I will slap the shit out of you Donnie. You're a slap my dick You know I'm not allowed to do that do it and boss I might be permission we can join me well. I do

That's me slapping you this I'll hit it twice more He and on the rock. This is this is a historical site. Okay. This is where I lost my virginity Oh, I doubt it to Catherine D for McLeod Oh my mom. Oh God. Oh, yeah, a little Ricky D for McLeod Oh God Oh god, ma! Oh yeah, a little Ricky D from Mikleo. Oh god, no ma! No ma! What are we talking about? Gossip of power. Gossip of power.

This is where the cause is made? Seed. Posit sucks. So, what do we think the origin of the state name is? Bosphon. It's a Massachusetts, the state name. Bosphon, is it Native American, and it is? It is.

So it's based on the Algonquin Indian word Massachusetts, meaning near the great little mountain. Okay. What little mountain is it, near? Blue hills. Nice. No, I don't know. Okay. Cool.

So Massachusetts. What do we think the state flag is? The state flag. What does that mean? What do we think the state flag is? Um, the state flag. What does that mean? What do we think the state flag is? White and blue. Yeah, I don't know. Describing a flag.

Yeah, what do you think is on the state flag? Um, how else can you interpret that flag? Maybe it's a color. Is it blue and yellow? To white and blue. White and a little yellow, right? White and blue and yellow. Orange, correct.

White, blue and yellow, and on the middle of it there's a little cartoon penguin drinking a 40. So far so good. It's a cartoon penguin drinking a 40s got a Santa Claus hat on. There's a big breasted woven behind him with a missing Ben half flexed. What? And that day, I mean, they're both eating apples.

And it says, While they are 60, two years old, it says the land of Stinking. I don't know what it is. Do you know what it is? It's a picture of a Massachusetts mother and she's just like leaning into the frame of the flag going, you owe me money! You never call. It is white and blue. It's the image of a Native American

Massachusetts, so the titular name of America. He holds a bow in one hand in an arrow. In the other, the arrow is pointing downward, representing peace. Which, that's kind of fun. Yeah. And it says there's a blue ribbon with a motto, by the sword, we seek peace, but peace only under liberty. So that's pretty aggressive. Yeah, that's pretty aggressive. So you peace by the sword. What do we think, JPC? What do we think the Massachusetts state song is? It's got gotta be something by Pitbull. I just, I don't know. Clap up up up up.

Miami Massachusetts. I don't know if it's work well enough. The Massachusetts state song. Oh yeah, it's Sinatra. Some day, one new. The Massachusetts State song. Hey, little boys. Hey, little girls.

You better start drinking young. Yeah. Aaron, you know, um, is it M.A.S.S.S.A.C.H.U.S.E.T.D.S? That is part of it. Really? Um, I guess any state song, if you know it? Is it M-A-S-S-A-C-H-U-S-E-T-D-S? That is part of it. Really? I guess in a state song, if you just spell the state, you're probably on the right track.

It's a song called All Hail to Massachusetts. All Hail to Massachusetts. Written by Arthur J. Marsh. Yeah, that's actually a part of it. That's how I know how to spell Massachusetts. It's been second grade we learned. M-A-S-S-A-C-H- C-A-T-T-T-S. So let me, I'll say a little bit of it here. So it starts all hail to Massachusetts,

the land of the free and the brave. That's, we've heard that before, right? There's, yeah, that's fucking America. Stealing from America. For bunker, bunker, hill in Charleston and the flag we love to wave. For Lexington and Concord, and the shot heard round the world,

all hail to Massachusetts will keep her flag unfurled She stands up right for freedom slight that shines from sea to sea all hail the Massachusetts our country tis of the so they basically This motherfucker's just like just copy paste Jonathan we have seven minutes to write a state song. Why did we why did we spend the all night doing blow and eating crab meat? Why did we spend the all night doing blow and eating crab meat? That's our Thursday, Jonathan. TPC, what do we think? And we're almost done with the Massachusetts. Okay.

What do we think some of the biggest sort of industry or exports are agriculturally or here we go. They export. You're right with racism early. They export racism, their bodies of people couldn't keep their fucking mouth shut What are they import they import?

I don't know the import no the import people whose names are Catherine and Elaine. Okay, what, I don't know. Aaron, do you know any of these? Are seafood is number one? Do they do, is it seafood crab? Seafood is number one. Seafood is number one, yeah.

For their agriculture it says. Seafood textiles? Gillette razors. Cranberries is one of them. Cranberries? Cranberries? Cranberries? I'm going to use textiles, Gillette razors. Cranberries is one of them. Oh yeah, cranberry bugs. Dairy products. Dairy products.

Also, it... Oh, Hornster Farms. Treat at me if you get Hornster Farms, Milk, deliver to your door in the glass containers because you're rich and I'd love to hear from you. Hornster Farms, I'm horny for milk. Milk. Milk, it's cowcom.

Milk. It is though. Stop it. Who do we think some famous people from Boston from Massachusetts? If you think milk is cowcom, I want you to tweet at the show hashtag milk is cowcom. If you think that milk is not cowcom,

I want you to tweet at the show hashtag hashtag you were wrong about that thing that you said we got some famous people do you know you famous people from us John Adams John Quincy Adams no ma he's not from there George Bush from there E.E. Cummings really? yeah Betty Davis Cecil B. Demail. Okay. Emily Dickinson. Aaron Kees. Nathaniel Haughorn. Haughorn. Aaron Kees, John F. Kennedy. Louise Male Cut. Yeah, Kennedy. Uh, Dr. Seuss. Yeah. AKA Thue Lord Geisel. Okay. Eli Whitney. Who invented the...

Cut in Jen. Rob Cordree? Rob Cordray. Rob Cordray, yeah. And let me just give you one or two Boston Fun Fact. I keep saying Boston. Yeah. These are Massachusetts. It's the only place in Massachusetts. Fun Fact.

Boston built the first ever subway system in 1897. And the tea thing is called a Charlie card. And when they built that tea subway, that's where we get the bus and tea party Yeah, because they had a party in the subway. I pitted the fool who doesn't buy this subway car and that's where we get five dollar foot What else the birth control pill was invented at Clark University in Worcesters and fun fact also It's never been used in Boston Okay In fact, also, it's never been used in Boston. Okay. That's fair. I promise, I put a kind of on.

It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. That's Indiana State's song. So that's all we have for Mass. That was pretty fun.

Yeah, we all agreed that that was pretty fun. Mm-hmm. Not a ton of fun. I'm ready for Indiana. So here's where we need to, just to mix it up a little bit, we're going to, to interspers some, would you rather? Okay. Games, because just because we took a, fairly recently we took a road trip the three of us.

Yeah. It was 11 years ago. It was 11 years ago. One of us died and we're not going to say which. But we say the which is name. The curse comes back to life. So I thought to just do some wood you rather, because we played a lot of fun road trip games

on that road trip, so I thought to just do some of those and then we'll get into Indiana. So let me go into these wood you're rather. Okay. Wood you rather lose all your money and valuables? Or all the pictures you have ever taken. What? This is a, this is easy.

Money and valuable, they shouldn't have added and valuables. Because my pictures are valuable. No, because some of my valuables are like things that are just as nostalgic for me as pictures. Although I would be really sad if I, every picture I've ever taken. Every picture you've ever taken.

Oh, I would get rid of that because the only thing I'd be worried about is pictures I've inherited. What's your favorite picture you owe? Not a lot. I really don't think I photograph well. That wasn't the question I don't think. My favorite picture. What's your favorite picture you've ever taken?

I don't know. No, the favorite picture you own, right? Yeah, what's the favorite picture you owe? It could be you could be someone else. Oh, I just like, I didn't get to know, I, when I was born, only one of my grandparents was still alive. So I like having like, like I look a lot like my mom's mom

and I never got to meet her. So I like having those pictures. That's great. I don't think I, no jokes there, because people are dead. Yeah. Well, we can't make jokes. Oh, also there's a picture of my mom when she's like a teenager and she's making a

cra- maybe I'll Instagram this or tweet this out when this comes out and she has two picks in her mouth and she looks insane. She like is doing a crazy face. And she's hanging my basement east to scare me. When she's a teenager? Yeah. And you said you'll post that picture on Patreon? Yeah, a little bit.

Or, yeah. For only Patreon? Yeah, only Patreon. Only Patreon people get access to the exclusive errands mom pick. And of course, I do wanna let listeners know. The reason I did this whole state thing is because Patreon, as we all know, stands for patriotic residents.

Mm-hmm. So. What do you think APC? I mean, this is easy for me because I'm not a picture guy. Like, I'm in the same way. Like, I don't care about pictures of myself really, but I also never take pictures. Instagram is a really hard format for me because I will take pictures of spaghetti that's

pretty much it, but I just never take pictures. I don't keep pictures. When I deactivated Facebook, I just lost every picture that I've ever taken because they were only on Facebook. And you said your real name is Dorian Gray? Yeah. But I'm just not a big picture guy. I'm a big picture guy, but I'm not a big picture guy.

But I'm not super sentimental. I'll throw anything away. I only keep things for practical reasons, including people. I can't wait to cut you out of my life. Ow. Yeah, I know it hurts. I'm stealing. But it doesn't hurt mine.

But if someone were like, you lose all your pictures tomorrow, I'd it hurts. I'm stealing. But it doesn't hurt mine. But yeah, so if someone were like, you lose all your pictures tomorrow, I'd be like, cool, what's for frickin' dinner, my dude? Because daddy hungry. Time to move on. Daddy's tumbling. Oh, you know what, you might all feel differently if any of us had kids.

I feel like if you had older kids and you lose all the baby kids. Well, so all those have kids, but we just don't talk about it. Yeah, I don't want to see pictures of David and Daniel. Yeah. Adelaide by you. Oh, I'd rather lose all the pictures I've ever taken. Yeah.

Because I feel like if I close my eyes in my mind's eye, I can still see those pictures. And if I close my eyes, I only see my jewels. And if anyone ever takes my jewels, my power goes away. And I feel like I- Can I just sell off a cliff? I attach, I have trouble sometimes like throwing things out because I have so much sentimental value tied into things. So like there's, what did you say? I said we're different people.

I thought you said we're dating people. Yeah, we're dating people. We're dating people. But I don't know, they're just dating people. We just love to date. We love each other, but we're opening up our relationship. But I feel like there's yeah there's I attached so much sentimental value to things versus like pictures so I would have much harder time getting rid of valuables than pictures. Here's another one. Would you rather be

able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone else except for yourself? 10 minutes? Yeah, it's not a lot. Oh, someone else is. Am I always able to see 10 minutes into my own future? Or is this like all one time thing? We'll say it's always. It's all. Oh, well then me.

Or you can see 10 minutes into anyone else around you's future. Also, if I did that use that power, and I could see 10 minutes into anyone around me's future, I'm pretty sure I would just always see them beating the shit out of me. Yeah. Like, because it's always, it's so tenuous,

it's always so tenuous. So close. Yeah. Um, boy oh boy. I don't really think that. But if you were like, I mean, you could, you could sell that information if you know what's gonna happen to people in 10 minutes,

you could sell that information, you could help prevent deaths. It's gotta be a pretty quick sale. If you could do, I'm not kidding. Hey, do you have a minute? No, not please, I really did, I never buy it.

All right, go on that boat. Yeah, good luck. Go on that boat with Ted Kennedy. I'm not kidding. Ted Kennedy didn't kill that boat. Yeah. Oh boy, yeah, I don't know. I don't know that I wanna see my own future.

I don't know that I wanna know what's gonna happen to me. You know, big dope if I could see my own past. With pictures. Yeah, with pictures. Don't ever get rid of them. Aaron fell asleep. Aaron fell asleep or I just fell asleep. Let's just do a couple more of these.

Would you rather be famous when you're alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you're alive but famous after you die? I know when I'm alive. What? Yeah. I'd say all day, everyday famous when alive. You would rather be famous when dead?

I just would rather not be famous. Oh. So I don't want to have to deal with the fact that I'm famous. Why would you not want to be famous? Well, that's a fear of that because then you have to stop crying at airports. Mm-hmm.

That's what I think. How to unpack this. That's like the best place to cries at an airport. Is that celebrity Aaron Keefe? Crying? She's sobbing at an airport. I think I would like celebrities more. I think I'd like it if Taylor Swift took a messy shit.

Like just be a person, just be a person. You know what she does, you just doesn't sing about it. I don't want her to sing about it, but I want her news to report about it Aaron why do you cry at airports? I know I think it's just like you're tired and you woke up early I get sentimental Hudson news like sometimes it's like leaving my family. I'm just like hot like I don't know Yeah, Hudson news makes me cry. I think I just I don't know. It's like a good time to let some stress out I cry every time I get charged six6 for a Dunkin' Donuts bagel.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess, I mean, so your point there though is that you wanna be a normal person and you don't want all that celebrity person. I get really bad crowd anxiety. I just don't think like, and all things that come with fame other than being dressed up in beautiful dresses are deeply uninteresting to me.

So, yeah, I would rather be famous after I'm gone so like I don't have to deal with any of that part of it. And then maybe my family is rich from my fame. Can I state that'd be pretty cool. Can I pose something to you? You're already famous. Oh my god I am. You're a podcast celebrity.

You're a podcast celebrity. Oh that's so true Yeah, over 11 of you. Yeah, there's 12 you can just say 12 think of all of the people that have tweeted you tweeted you Aaron Keith about your UT. I know That's the level of fame. I just that this level of fame of come comfortable. Yeah, which is my favorite college, you T.I. Yeah Go which is my favorite college, UTI. Yeah. Go T.I.

You can have one. Go T.I. Go T.I. We're the University of T.I. We're doing it together now or one more. We're going to do 10 more of these. We're going to do one more and then we're going to move on to Indi Anah. Cool. So last, would you rather?

Yes. And this is a light, this is a light fun one. Would you rather accidentally be responsible for the death of a child, or accidentally be responsible for the deaths of three adults? Deaths of three adults, are you kidding? That's my biggest fear. I would say one child.

No! What? Three adults are already integrated into society. Well, how is the child? The child, we don't know. Let's say... Can you just give me his name? His name is Marcus, and he's...

From Boston. He's a bit problematic. Okay. Oh, death of a child at the same time. I'd say seven years old. I would say I would rather be... So a child has yet to grow up into an adult integrated into society.

These three adults have families, spouses, children of their own parents, they have jobs. No, I mean, we're all adults and we don't have children. To take three lives over one, kill that child. No, because here's the thing, is that that's like a punching down. Like the three adults are able, like we, I mean, we have all,

we all have a responsibility to each other to help each other if we can, but kids do not have the means sometimes to protect themselves. So for us to let them die, it's just like an unfair. And this is your responsible, right? That's what it said, your responsible. You're responsible. Well, we're assuming that it's not murder and it's an accident. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, but you ultimately have responsibility. I mean, so, yeah, I don't know, this is a tough one. I mean, just numbers wise. Number three versus one. If I'm unloading my air conditioner, it falls out the window,

kills a kid, I'm like, yikes, but I move on with my life. If I kill three adults, I'm not recovering. I'm not recovering from any of that. I'm not recovering from any of it, but in order to get myself to a place where I can recover, I have to think about, you know, like if I could Thanos snap and destroy half of the universe, I would definitely do that, like global warming, like maybe it's better that I am. Thanos snap on my haters' grays.

The Fortnite. Maybe it's better that I am removing three, you know. And also all people are bad. Have you ever talked to a person? They're all bad. They've ever crossed the board, people are bad. Have you ever talked to a person? They're all bad. They've ever crossed the board, they're bad. Even the good ones who you're like, oh, whoa, this person's like good, this person's great.

And they like lean in real close to you and they're like, you wanna hear something about the Jews? And it's like, no. And it's like, you are one of my heroes. And no. Well, what do you have on the Jews? No, they're great. Good people, great food.

But it's just like, I think that a kid is just a person waiting up to grow up and be bad, and adults are just people that are already bad. I think all of them go. I would like to change my answer to all people die. What if all people die? And it was just deer. And then the deer started to run like Congress and like.

I just pictured deer at a pair of glasses and I'm pretty thrilled. Yeah, so I think my answer to this question is whatever gets deer glasses faster, I'm interested in. Here's something I'll talk about. Where I went to high school is a town called Qanielinoi. And there is a legend, every town probably has its own legends and lures.

In Qanielinoi, the legend is deer man, which was, he would run around the woods. So as a high schooler, me and some friends would go out in the woods till 4am and look for deer man. And he would have... I just want to say, deer man in the head of a deer. Spootman? Oh, deer man. It was a project, or is it a son garden song?

So deer man would be have the body of a human in the head of a deer. So a deer with glasses could exist. Would you rather fight a deer with the body of a human in the head of a deer or a deer with the body of a deer in the head of a human? That's fair. A body of a human with the head of a deer. You'd rather fight a human, basically, with a big deer.

Do you know how strong deer's are? How powerful their muscles are? I would ride it. That explosive action. I would ride it. But basically, you're just saying, even match, me versus another guy, like even match, except they've got antlers.

Yeah, that sucks for you in that fight. I would rather fight the thing on four legs. I'd rather avoid antlers than something that has four legs with hooves and powerful ass kicking muscles. hooves what did I say? hooves it be hooves me to say. Let's see a quick scene Aaron your blostin the woods and JBCU appears dear man. Okay.

Oh gosh I should have left some bread crumbs. Are you? I'm sorry. I'm not pleased. Man. I do not left some bread crumbs. Are you? Are you? I'm sorry. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of shredded. Yeah. Yeah. They're lands end. It was actually this is a lands end one. It's actually two adult ones. Earlier tonight I broke into a lands end and tried to wear a onesie. Sorry, you startled me. I startled you. My name is Evan. Yeah, you're wearing one of this puffy lands end vests too. Oh, yeah. I'm a J-Crew gal.

Oh, that's so funny. You know the difference between J-Crew and Lion's And, right? What? About 40 bucks. You're funny. Thank you. What's your name? Suzy.

Suzy. Great. Now the two of you are back at Deer Man's Place. Anyway, so I've got some red wine, a little cocaine. Do you do cocaine, Susie? Well, maybe from time to time. So, I'm confused. What part of you is dear? What part of you is man? Okay, I'll just give you the quick rundown. Feet, human, body, one human one dear hair for the majority human You're gonna see some deer hair in there some good cow cow. Yeah, you got you got them in your sights take the shot

Look what a beautiful deer. Oh, wait, is he talking to some girl over there? Wait, who do we show who are he shooting? We're shooting the deer. Okay, okay cool deer in the pajamas. Yeah, the deer in the pajamas. C'ml'liam. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I can't, I can't even tell the this. The deer party. You're in the human. I'm so reminded. It's the human penis. Oh, no, please, Susie, get me my cocaine. Okay. No, yeah, dear money, baby. Nancy. Nancy, Lanson. Let's close that episode with another segment of state. Nancy.

Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy.

Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy.

Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. Nancy. America's Columbia. We used to be the syphilis capital of America. Some other, I think Indianapolis was, some other state passed us. Here we go, Aaron, you're going to answer these questions even if you do not know them. Great. JPC, you will then have a chance to correct us all and inform us. Aaron, what do we think the Indiana state flower is? Corn. That is a great guess. That is a very good guess. It is, JBC Dino. I would say that the state flower is corn.

It's another word for piss. P&E. Oh, P&E's are my favorite flowers. Is it really? Yeah. I love P&E. What do we think the Indiana nickname is? This is a phrase you've you probably know this somewhere in the recesses of your brain,

but we'll see if it comes out now. What do we think the nickname is for Indiana? There's something state. Help us. The help us state. Where board state? I know it's the something state. I know an old nickname, which was different. So I would say it. We all know old nicknames. state. I know. It's the something state. I know an old nickname, which was different. So I would say it. We all know old nicknames. You know old nicknames. Hey, there's a guy by the trade tracks, gives kids nicknames. Call you sport.

Call you Duke. Your name's yellow legs. Get out of here. Who am I? Who am I? Oh, well, you. Your name's Cyclops. You'll go be an expert.

Hey Cyclops, watch this. I'm gonna hold up a mirror to Old Man nicknames and see what he says. Hey, give me a nickname. Puh. Oh, that hunter shot him. Right in the dick. My dear dick.

My dear dick. What do we think the nickname is? It's, come on, you know this. If you don't, let's move on. The Hoosier state? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I don't know.

What's a Hoosier? I don't know what a Hoosier is. I know, it's a basketball movie with Gene Hackman. That's what it is. Yeah. I don't know what a Hoosier is. It's a... Aaron, do you know what the word Indiana means?

The origin of the state name? It's Latin. What is it Latin for? I'm in Dianna. Nice. I mean, if you took a minute to really parse it through it, you could figure it out. I took four years of Latin. Okay, then you should nail this.

In Dianna. I mean, even if you don't know Latin, there's one word in there that you could immediately sus out. In. Oh Jesus Christ. Do you know? Yeah, it's based off of the word Indian.

Yeah, it's, but there's, it's based off of Native American something. Yeah, it means land of the Indians. Yeah, Indiana. I Mean everything in the Midwest is As some like partial Native American Because this was all Native American land. Aaron do you want to guess some of the Indiana state models? Sure We all get really good at instruments because there's nothing else to do

We all get really good at instruments because there's nothing else to do. Oops, you're driving through us. That's close, right? Isn't that close? Someone close. The drive through state. Oh, that's very close. Yeah, very close. The flyover state.

Well, no. The middle of America. Cool. We're stubborn. You wouldn't believe how stubborn we are. I'll give you a hint. Devlin down to Georgia. He was looking for a soul of steel.

Where do you meet the devil? Georgia. No. What's the symbol? Now, our state motto is Georgia. Meet the devil at midnight at the cross. The crossover state. Yep.

Yep, it's the crossover state. They always Yep. It's the crossover state. They always They're like And JPC you know Philipson crossroads of America. Indiana is the crossroads of America formerly the the state model was honest to goodness Indiana Which sounds like somebody's disbelieving them. I'm like no no, honestly goodness, we're in the end. And then the other one is. Made a bitch. Bikes.

Go ahead. The other one is restart your engines, which I can understand why they did away with that. Yeah, basically, my only experience being in in the end for a long period of time is I did an improv show, a Kurt Vonnegut themed improv show and the basement of a church to one of the guys in the audience was a survivor in the early 2000s

Wait, and no one knew what was going on a Kurt Vonnegat themed improv show in the basement of a church And one of the people and the audience was from an early episode of survivor. Yeah, you got married Those are the four things You are you are wed to Richard from season two of Survivor. Richard who fell into the campfire and who is 65 years old. He's one of the winners. And a tax evader? Yeah.

But anyways, yeah, they love Kirk Vonnegut there. They do. We really love Vonnegut. Kirk Vonnegut is from there. He's one of the local celebrities. I mean, every one of his books is about Indianapolis and Bloomington and she's like that. And that's what the Harry Chapin song is about. Yeah. And they

cut in the cradle with the bomb. Aaron, what do we think the state bird is? Um. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, if he toss it to JPC, he's going to say Larry. So yeah, make sure you guess something. Yeah, Larry bird. Well, wouldn't that apply to Boston too? Didn't you go to the Celtsix? Yeah. He's from India, but he played for the Celts. He's from French lick. He ever been in French lick JPC?

Yeah, there's a casino there. What is the bird? State bird is the cardinal. The Twittering Bluebley. Which is why their baseball team is they don't have a baseball team. That's not true. We have a Marta Lee team called the Indians't have a baseball team. That's not true. We have a minor league team called the Indians Why said baseball that means professional. Yep. Yeah baseball means professional Aaron. What do you think they're flag is?

Something a little kid drew. There is something a little kid drew. It's a flaming torch with 19 stars. Yeah That's about it. Cool. I don't know what they represent. Cool Indiana. What do we think the Indiana State song is? Uh, hello, we're not sad. No. That's right.

Tom Cochran's life is a highlight. It's we will rock you by, uh, uh, uh, Indiana, we wish we were ill. Wait, do you not know who's saying we will rock you? Queen, it's Michael. It's right. We will trade. You will do you not know who's saying we will rock you queen? It's like We will trade you we will trade you will give you all the corn Please give us a Chicago we need it the state song of Indiana is Indiana where we sell the guns to Chicago coming by your guns and Guns to Chicago coming by your guns in India

JPC do you know the song? Hey little little little little Latvia fire cuz I don't know this song. It's on the banks of the Wabash Written by Paul Dresser. Yeah, composed by Paul Dresser. Paul Dresser sounds like a chef on a baking show. My name is Dan Cabinets. Yeah. And let me, I want to sing some of the song, because it's terrible. Yep, it's probably real bad.

Around my Indiana homesteads, wave the corn fields, in the distance loom the woodlands, clear and cool. Often my thoughts revert to scenes of childhood when I first received my lessons, nature's school? But the one thing that is missing in the picture without her face it seems so incomplete.

I long to see my mother in the doorway as she stood three years ago, her boy to greet. Yeah, that sucks. That also gives people the wrong impression of what Indiana is. It's like a sad tale about a guy who's born. There's also the second part of it. Many years have passed since I've strolled by the river. Arm and arm with sweetheart Mary by my side. It was there I tried to tell her that I loved her.

It was there I baked her to be my brother. The fuck is this song? This is our state song. Long years, long years have passed since. I strolled through the church yard. She's sleeping there. My angel married dear. So this woman died.

She, he tried to marry her. She died. Probably he probably sharrowed it again. Yeah. And this is the worst fucking state song I've ever heard. It's a state flag of Indian is actually kind of odd. It seems to be an apology note. Right.

And they've set to the other 49 states. To a woman named June. Apparently Seth, I guess it's unclear here. He had some sort of illicit affair with maybe her sister. It's a state flag. We're in the home stretch here. What do we think the sort of agricultural and industrial exports of Indian hour? Corn.

Corn, number one. Corn, um, Corn, number one. Corn, soybeans. Soybeans, number two. People who are in show choir. Number three. Glee clubs. Glee clubs. That's number four.

Hogs and cattle are in there. Steel, transportation equipment, chemical product, petroleum, coal, machinery. People who didn't mock trial. Who do we think are some celebrities from Indianaiana and that's a loose term yeah Larry Bertrand David Letterman's number two. It's gotta get's gotta be in there. If I get in there.

What else? It says James Dean. Oh okay. That's correct. That's James Dean. Your friend's Shelby Puppet. Was there. Michael Jackson.

Lincoln was lived in Indiana for like a minute, but he wasn't for one minute he lived in, yep. And that's about it. How about some, let's go into, lastly some fun facts for Indiana. Here's one, there are no fun facts. Mm-hmm. Maybe it has great, I'm sure.

I just don't have many experiences with it. Would you like it? One time I went home to Indianapolis, my little brother picked me up from the bus stop, and I was not there for four minutes when I saw a two police officers arresting a prostitute and the prostitute was fighting them off. And from me driving by, she looked to be winning. She was doing pretty well against those cops. So you loved it?

Oh yeah, and it was great. Great place to raise a kid. What are some fun facts? The movie Hard Rain was filmed in a hunting bird. Yep, that's true. They filmed Hoosiers there for sure. Oh, here's one. My theater teacher in high school was a location scout for Hoosiers. This is JPC. You just touched upon this. Abraham Lincoln moved to Indiana when he was seven years old. He lived most of his boyhood in Spencer County with his parents Thomas and Nancy. Let's see you seen Indiana's also called Lincoln's boyhood home. Let's see you seen all be Thomas Lincoln Abraham's father Aaron you'll be Nancy Lincoln the mom and

JPC you will be Larry Burr And you'll be you'll'll be Abraham Lincoln. You'll be Abraham Lincoln. Seven year old Abraham Lincoln. Honey, why are you crying? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? Are you teasing you about how tall you are?

I'd be honest with us. I think I have more fans to see. You do, we've told you several times. I'm not so lucky. I just, I think it's true. No, it is true. No, boy. Will I ever be normal? Will I ever be able to Play amongst the boys. Well, can your mom and I tell you something? Yeah, you could be normal if one we ever reverse

Marfin's disease and two you stop wearing those tall ass hats. Yeah, you're wearing those tall ass hats And that's probably why you're getting teased. Well, but you walk around on all fours. You put a hat that's very tall on your ass. Why not put it on your head? And wear this beautiful top hat your father bought you for your birthday. Why not put the top hat on my head?

Yes, a top hat on my head. You're putting it on your ass again, right? I need to ask for a top hat. Why aren't you? Oh, why must you be this way? I am the way that I am. For I will do great things in my life. I am the way that I am.

Yes. What can you see 10 minutes into the future? You know what I am gonna do great things. You're nothing. You're a wood farmer and you're a wood farmer's wife. But I'm good. What will you be doing for a score in seven years from now? I'm gonna own a chicken franchise. I'm gonna own a bunch of chicken stores.

That's right, I'm gonna take chicken and make it a big thing and sell it to people all across this state. Wait, Nancy, Nancy, did our son just call wood farmers? I think he did. What is that wood? How can you be a wood? Does he hold on? Can we talk over here? Does he think wood grows out of the ground? I mean it doesn't. Well, trees. I mean, I want to do what. You know what I meant.

Oh, would I rather kill my seven year old son or the three of us together? Which is worse. That's it. That's it for Indiana and for time travel back in time and kill any president. Who would you kill? Thomas Jackson. George Bush because he just died. Thomas Jackson.

I did it. I would kill Steve Jobs. No, Andrew Jackson. Yeah, I definitely killed Jackson. I would kill the band of presidents of the United States, so that I never have to look here at the song, Peach or Wump again. That's our first Patreon episode. Thank you all so much for listening. We're very excited for what we have in store for you.

It's going to be a lot of variety, a lot of fun, different road trip games and game shows and whatnot. And we thank you so much for your support. We love you. We love you. Yeah, we love you. So keep tuning in, unless you hated this,

then this is actually the last one you have to listen to. Go ahead and take your picture of my back. We wish you all the best. You might as well write out the rest of the month. I mean, yeah, write out the month. Write out the month. Listen to three more stuff that, you know, whatever you decide, make sure that you tell your friends

that this was good. If it's bad. And your enemies. And your enemies. And that's gonna do it for us. Aaron, what's something you wanna say? Jupiter. No, no, no, that's for the main show.

These people paid a premium error. They get to hear you say something fun and courageous and brave. Neptune. Yay. That's what it is. Blue Crew. Check, check, check, check. Dang it, that's the wrong theme again.

I mean, they are really similar, dude. That was clue crew. So now here's a who's who. The relatable host was uh... Aaron Keve. If you rolled your pies, it's because the apple refi- or that other young guy, fucking JPC. KG Snyder edited what everybody said.

And F-Fublic Cardamus did the lo-go. Arnie Parrott sang and wrote every single fricking note of one, two, three, four, HATE RIDDLE RIDDLE'S GLUE CROOM. Every single freaking note of one, two, three, four, Hey, little riddle, school crew.