High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: A Rogue's Gambit | #1 - Welcome to the Team

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

Welcome, agents, to a new mini-series in Waterdeep! Four Harper agents are assigned to a mission that will test what little skills they have! Thanks to Wizards of the Coast for making this possible, and thanks to Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms for sponsoring this series! Check out Idle Champions here - https://bit.ly/2MJSdYy - to earn us those valuable D6s... we need all the help we can get. All you need to do is play the game! We're playing the brand new Waterdeep: Dragon Heist module! More information here: https://bit.ly/2JdEX8M Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. list in the app and it'll show you similar items at a lower cost add coffee to your list then swap it for one that's cheaper craving chips the app will suggest some on sale to get started just open the app it's as easy as that see the pc optimum app for details your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand it's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country and it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 Plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead, you can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Hello everyone and welcome to a new mini-series.

For 11 weeks we're going to be playing the brand new Dragon Heist module, a high-stakes, high-reward adventure set in the city of Waterdeep. We've rolled up some interesting new characters who must rely on each other to conquer the challenges a Mission Impossible-style campaign will throw at us. Also, this series is partnered with Idol Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Jump in, play the game, and earn us some D6s that we're using to supplement our ability checks and saving throws. And trust me, we're going to need all the help we can get, so please support us by playing Idle Champions. Without further ado, let's meet the team. But note that this campaign features a fun

little twist. Every character must take at least one level of rogue. So to start with, Kim Richards is Boomer, a Demolitions quote unquote expert goblin who seems to love explosions a little bit too much. Katie Morrison plays Fleur Laverne, a Demolitions quote-unquote expert goblin who seems to love explosions a little bit too much. Katie Morrison plays Fleur Laverne, a silent but deadly tiefling gunslinger. Chris Trott controls Aqua Mumba, an old, um, I mean, veteran spy halfling who seems to have a whole lot of tricks up his sleeves. And I, Tom Hazel, am Bertam Terramaxk, or Bertie for short, an ex-boxer goliath barbarian who may have taken one or two or three hundred too many hits to the head. So, let's play the adventure. Let's play A Rogue's Gambit.

You are all agents of the Harpers. Now, whether you are agents of a professional standing, whether you've been roped into working for the Harpers. Now whether you are agents of a professional standing, whether you've been roped into working for the Harpers, you've been blackmailed, whatever it is, you are all working for this mysterious organization called the Harpers who are known across the Forgotten Realms as being spies, do-gooders, generally adventurers who are out there preventing evil from taking root along the Sword Coast and other various other parts of the Forgotten Realms. You all have your own reasons to it, maybe you know each other, maybe you don't, but you have been brought together by one member of this team, Aquamumba! A halfling, bard, rogue, monk, played by Chris Trott, and you've been

brought together and we are gonna start in in media res, as they call it. We see a swooping low-angle shot of the rooftops of Neverwinter, ramshackle streets of the Shard of Night in particular, the rough, criminal, organised area of the city. As the camera drops down, it focuses in on a very strangely attired halfling man. What does Aquamumber look like, Chris Trott?

Very decadent, a halfling. He's got a weird face, in the sense that it's slightly offset to one side. But you wouldn't notice that from the camera angle right now. He plays the camera. He's got very regal blue Uniform, I'd call it, with a cravat. Okay. He's also got a very golden cane which seems to be

Littered with little trinkets and things. There's a weird thing on top. We don't really know what that means, but that's cool He's holding it aloft. Soaman but is stood in the middle of somewhere called green flame plaza which is a kind of open square if you want uh surrounded by buildings kind of like a typical kind of like busy city buildings on either side alleyways kind of going off uh in different directions from this plaza small little fountain but the the plaza gets its name from the various sconces and braziers that are lit with this magical green fire that casts the whole plaza in a sickly green glow. Stood next to Aquamumba is the long-suffering Harper agent that has been working with him,

Glenag Ironbeard, a dwarven wizard. His beard is short, soot-coloured. beard, a dwarven wizard. His beard is short, soot-coloured, scars cover his arms and face from various failed experiments and missions that have gone wrong. Generally brought along to be

magical, to be a sort of magical assistant, you know, helping matters of the arcane. Glenn Ag has been assigned to you for this particular mission, and he is holding a strange ice-encrusted chest in both hands, and he's holding it nervously as he looks over at Aquamamba,

and he just kind of turns to you, he's like, oh, they're getting late, Aquara. I don't know where these cultists are. They're supposed to have met us a few hours ago. You need to calm down. In these kind of situations, you You need to calm down. In these kind of situations, you really need to keep it calm.

These are dangerous people we're dealing with. They're only as dangerous as you make them. Honestly, it's all psychology. I trust you, Mamba. I trust you. And he looks around, and you know that you have assembled a team for a hostage negotiation. You are to exchange an artifact called the Heart of Kania with a group of demon-worshipping cultists

in exchange for a VIP, some sort of very important person. But you are under strict instructions that you are to rescue the hostage, but also keep hold of the Heart of Kania somehow. Whether that's you have to steal it back or... A bait and switch. You have to do something. And Glen Egg is currently holding the container. You're shaking.

I can see you're shaking. If this thing is dangerous, if it wasn't for this particular containment chest, we'd all be tanta demons or something by now. Look at this. And I'm balancing my cane on my index finger. My tiny index finger is perfectly balanced. Wow? What skill?

I just thought I'd like to show you that. That's a very interesting trick. I don't see how it's gonna help. Well, you should really keep that thing steady like I'm keeping this. Elsewhere in the plaza, we have two other figures. One is a hulking giant with what appears to be two left hands. Now that he says it... A goliath. The camera lingers momentarily on this metal left hand attached to his right arm, but then swoops back to reveal what does this goliath look like?

He's big, very big um almost like a gray bluey skin uh like sort of tribal tattoos covering his body uh no shirt um he's got like bandages around his fists with like old blood on it and things like that um and just generally like super bedraggled like well i mean you know you know, he's bald. He's big. He's a bruiser. He looks like Drax. He's a bit Drax-y. Okay.

But bigger somehow. Okay. And two left hands. And two left fists. Next to the Goliath, we see another creature not often spotted in cities on the Sword Coast. A goblin.

I'm so proud. What does this goblin look like? Oh, Boomer. He looks... He's small. He's wearing, like, kind of leather trousers that are kind of all a bit ripped up and a bit burnt. In fact, his whole demeanour is just burnt.

He's a bit sooty, a bit frazzled. Like, you know, he's got a mohawk that's a little bit burnt on top. And he's just, like like got straps all over him with a crowbar, a hammer, bombs, other canisters and like mysterious things. Various trinkets and alchemist tools. And he also just looks like the living embodiment

of a slouch. Okay. Like he's just, you know, you just look at him, you know he's slouching. Like he's a master sloucher. Yeah. Very Junkrat-esque. Me. You know he's slouching. He's a master sloucher. Very Junkrat-esque. Maybe.

And it's Bertie is the Goliath. Bertie, yeah. Bertie and Boomer. You guys are separated. What are we going to do today, Bertie? It's very much a pinky in the brain. What are we going to do every day, Boomer? We're going to take over the world!

Very stripped around. You two are separate to Aquamumber and Glenag. We're gonna take over the world! Very, very swept around. You two are separate to Aquamumber and Glenag, mainly known as Glen. You two are slightly separated. Would you be making some sort of preparations? You know that this hostage negotiation is gonna take down this plaza. The people, the cultists are running late,

but would you have made any preparations? Would you have been working on some secret plans or are you just looming in the shadows, ready to strike? I'm just waiting for the sign. Yeah. So you're just crouched somewhere in an alleyway. Slouched. Okay, slouched in an alleyway.

I don't think I'm even slouched. I'm just standing there. Stood there as a whole cute figure. I'm probably, he doesn't even realise that he's just got to be quiet. Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, I'm silent. I've probably got one of my bombs that I'm just throwing up and down. Tossing it around. Just like waiting.

Okay. So why don't you guys watch as a group of approximately, I need to check. I think it's about, yeah, it's about five figures. Two tieflings, both blue skinned with large curved horns one has green eyes the other has amber eyes they both wear these dark kind of robed mixed with leather armour

and trailing behind them are three similarly dressed humans half elves you're not quite sure hooded, they look like mooks and they're kind of trailing behind these two twin tieflings they look like mooks. And they're kind of trailing behind these two twin tieflings. Like, just, they look like nobodies. They're canon fodder. Background

characters. Yeah, they're minions. They're, you know, and they're looming behind these two twin tieflings, which are slowly making their way down an alleyway towards Aquamamba and Glenag. And as we see them, we actually see them through the scope of a rifle

pointed down from the rooftops and the camera turns and it kind of follows through the scope to reveal a tiefling perched precariously on a rooftop kind of angling down in a sniper's position. What does this tiefling look like, Katie? She has got very very pale lilac skin, very pale, and white hair that's sort of cropped to her shoulder length, and very vibrant yellow eyes. She's dressed in sort of a black and purple uniform, very smart, and she's got a sniper rifle. She's also got a smaller gun attached to her belt, as well as a rapier. And the gun in particular, it looks somewhat

modern but with that fantasy element, that kind of Dungeons and Dragons kind of charm. And it has like a little bit of purple material just tied to the end of it. Nice, tied to the barrel. So we see that this kind of sniper is watching this approaching group from position.

And Aqual, remember these two twin tieflings and their three bodyguards approach. And they kind of offer a very courteous little bow. Sir, you are the one that has been sent to exchange, yes? Absolutely. Does it look like anybody else is here? I'm kidding. Indeed.

Flo, do we have the prisoner? Yes, of course, Ryan, yes. And he snaps his fingers, and in a puff of icy, frost-coloured smoke, this bagged, over-the-head, humanoid figure, a young man, perhaps in a loose shirt, looks a bit beaten up, kind of bruises, a few cuts, hands and legs bound, kind of appears suddenly, poof, and kind of collapses to his knees. We have what you want. Do you have what we requested? You know we do, Glen Egg. Aye! Just put it down for a second.

All right. He's got the shakes. It's his first day. He puts the chest squarely on the ground in front of you and then takes a step back. And the two tieflings look. So, how do we do this? Do we simply offer you a little...

Is it your first day, too? More that I'm interested in how you wish to proceed. Well, first of all, I need to make sure this hostage is not some sort of illusion, because it did appear out of thin air. They slap the hostage on the back. Very good illusion, but I'm going to have to check closely myself. Very well. Step forward, then. Very well.

I'm going to step forward, shuffle forward with my little halfling legs. A little cane... Clanking on the floor. I'm going to do some things. It looks like the cane is getting out of a magnifying glass, popping out the side. OK. Yes, yes. Looks very human.

Hmm! What did you say? Hmm! Keep quiet. You're hostage. Keep professional. Professional hostage. Where is that button? The detect magic button. And then I'm going to... Okay, Glenn at this point is like, do you need me to cast detect magic? Glenn! Sorry, sorry. I can do it right now if you need.

Glenn! Oh, sorry, sorry. Please. I'm the leader. All right, sorry. I can do it right now if you need. I've got glitter! Oh, sorry, sorry. Please! I'm the leader. Alright, sorry. I've got mamba. Alright, sorry.

We're familiar with your work. Is it true that you once snuck- Why is everybody talking to me when I'm trying to find the button? Is it true that you once snuck into the Palace of Neverwinter using the lavatory? Look, we don't talk about that. There's far more things that I've done that I'm far more heroic. Why does everybody, why does everybody bring up the lavatory?

It's unnecessary. I just look down at you. Have you finished, funny man? Oh, here it is, boop. And I'm gonna send up a signal. Okay. Which is a streak of water, which then explodes into the shape of a snake.

Whoops, wrong button. Okay, well, I think that's gonna be a deception check. streak of water which then explodes into the shape of a snake. Whoops! Crouch button! Okay, well I think that's gonna be a deception check to try and claim that you have made this by mistake as your, yeah, some sort of minor illusion erupts upwards. Wish you'd take from the pool. Would you like to use some dice from the pool? God, he's taking six! He's taking six. Six d6 he's gonna use to you what's a 5 5 10 to begin with 29? 32. 32. I mean... Whoops!

What a mistake! You fool! You're allowed the cards! They look around desperately. Flare's go up all this time and you're... And what does this symbol mean to the others? That is a signal for shit's about to go down. Right, okay. Everybody assemble and get ready.

Okay. About to go down. Right, okay. Everybody assemble and get ready. Okay. About to go down? Still going. Still already in position. They shove the hostage towards you like, ah, it's clearly not an illusion. I think in the alleyway... Now give us the chest. And you see three of the guards

stepping forward to take the icebound chest. Glenn just holds his hand up like, Oh, no trouble here! No trouble here! By all means, go ahead. Maybe check if it's an illusion. The three guards, two of the guards just pick it up and bring it over to... I wouldn't let them do that.

Maybe check the goods yourself. Clumsy bodyguards, you know. Hmm. You're like, eyes it for a moment. Seems to be in order. Maybe touching it's very important. Why are you so concerned with us touching it? Well, I'm just saying Glen Egg really shook it up.

And go over, touch the chest. As he turns around, Okay. I'm gonna put a dagger to his throat. Okay. And just whisper, Aquamumba. So are you trying to grab him and hold him hostage or are you trying to like shove the blade?

And I've got a blade in his throat. Are you gonna stab him with it? Or are you trying to threaten him? No, I'm just holding it there. Okay, so I think if you're jumping on his back, that's most certainly an acrobatics check, which I'm sure Aquamamba can perform admirably. Let's see if his twin brother is quick enough to react.

Nope, that's a one for me. 17. 17. You leap on the back and you throw a neck. Aquamamba! And one of them is just like, put him down now! And you see ice and frost begin to coalesce around his head. Oh yes, please hit me. I'm so close to him.

He'll hit him too! It's like, well, it would be a shame if my brother wasn't resistant to cold damage! What?! And yeah, there's this standoff with him holding out this hand, and you can feel this kind of cold energy beginning to pulse.

And the other the Tiefling that you have is just like do it brother freeze him freeze him into an icicle I just like to think that while this is happening I'm just like do you think we should do something? Wait, what's my voice? That is not the voice! You wanted to do an Aussie voice! We need to do a bit of an Aussie voice! Like, gaudily, like, mounseling up here!

Do you think we were meant to do something? Oh, the plan! And with that, I'll grab Boomer with one hand Oh no! It's not the plan! I think that's gonna be an athletics check. Oh, sorry, yeah, left hand.

Athletics check for... Three dice. Okay, sure. From the pool. Ooh, good, I needed it. 10, 15... Can we see the pool? Wait, acrobatics?

It's on rotation. It's on rotation. Acrobatics or athletics? Athletics. Athletics. You are gone. I'm in orbit now. 10, 14, I rolled a 15 and I add 9 to that.

So that's 24. So you, from this alleyway, hurtling about 10, 15 feet into the air, this goblin is just launched, screaming. At this point, I think that a screaming goblin and a fierce Mexican standoff is definitely gonna be an initiative Natural 20 It's Fleur isn't it for you Okay, so aqua mamba Boomer.

21. Bernie. Bertie. Three. Bernie. Bernie. He will be in it. I read a book recently with a character called Bernie in it.

What was it? Three. Three. Fleur. Eight. I like the idea that, yeah, he's like, Go, go, me! I choose you!

Yay! Very good. So, as this tense situation begins to develop, Aquamumber has leapt onto the back of one of these twin tieflings, has a dagger at his throat. The other one is kind of holding out a hand with some sort of ice-based spell ready to launch at a moment's notice.

However, they're all taken by surprise, including the two currently holding the chest, the two random cultists, by a goblin that is still mid-air as you take your turn, about to plummet ten feet to the ground. But you most certainly have a surprise on anyone. No one's more surprised than Boomer! That was the plan!

Um, how clustered are like all the... So I'd say Aquamber and the two tieflings are one group. The three other cultists, two of which have the chest, are slightly separated. And then Glenn is behind all of them, still with his hands up. Sorry, I didn't roll initiative for Glenn either. Glennie! Let me roll for Glenn here. Whopping 11. And he's just holding his hands like,

Oh, what's going on? Could I catch people within 20 foot radius? Sorry, a five. No, I need a point within 20 feet and a five foot radius. You could hit either Aquamember and the two tieflings or all three of the random normal cultists. Hmm, who would I go for?

As you're sailing through the air. Can I please go for the Aquamumber's little group? Okay, so the two tieflings and Aquamumber. And what are you, are you throwing some sort of canister or? I would like to throw, it looks like a little can. Like it literally looks like a little tin can. Like a bean can. Except it's got a crystal in one end that's starting to very violently erupt in bright light.

Okay. As I rip it out from it. So you're like, whoo! That is a bright light explosive. Okay, so what do we need to do? Can you please make a dex saving throw DC 13, okay These two tieflings like the twins from the matrix just ha leap to the side Like a flashback, it's 21 21 so all three seeing this

like a flashback. It's a bright light. 21. 21. So all three seeing this, you don't even know who's thrown it at this point. You just see this little thing. You back flip off this tiefling.

The other two tieflings go spreading out into the plaza as this erupts in light, a flash of light. The others managed to shield their eyes, but it kind of engulfs the whole area, sending this pulse of light. Just for everybody at home, by the way, Kim is currently playing a homebrew class that I made called the Vigilante, so if you're not

recognising the abilities, that's what she's playing. Bertie was looking directly into it. Which will explain his three initiative, I think. Rubbing his eyes with his two left hands. So, the other thing is, you begin to land. I'd like you to make an acrobatics check, please, to see if you

can tuck and roll and avoid some make an acrobatics check, please, to see if you can like tuck and roll and avoid some damage. Yeah, acrobatics. Sheets. We are emerging. Burning through those days. You need to play more

Idol Champions, guys. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28. More than enough to tuck and roll. Can I land on someone?

No, but you can avoid the damage you were about to take. If you'd rolled a natural 20, sure. But no, these are just nice extra dice. Still need that natural 20. You tuck and roll, you land, but I would say that you come up easily within striking distance of these three that have kind of dispersed. If I land and just go, ta-da!

Nailed it! They turn around. The two tieflings are like, is that a goblin? And they kind of like look around in surprise, unsure of what exactly is going on. But as they take that moment of surprise, Aquamamba. So I've landed just a little bit far away. Uh-huh.

I'm going to run in. Okay. Spend a ki point, because I assume this is dissipated now, this explosion. Yes, it's kind of like a flash of light. Yeah, it's just a bang. It vanishes. It's a ki points at this level. It's a flash bang. Yeah.

Ki points. It's a setup, brother! Kill them! Get the chest! You're a setup. Right, I've spent a key point. Got him. Gun! That is going to give me flow of blows. So I'm going to run in and just attack the person I just leapt off of.

Okay, so one of the two tieflings, this is flow. I'm just hitting with my cane. Okay. I'm going to treat it like my fists. So you know you make your one weapon attack and then you get two unarmed strikes afterwards. Because then it's the first time you're playing a monk. I'm going to make them all unarmed strikes. Okay.

They're just going to count as that. Okay. 20. Okay. So 20 easily hits. Do you want to... Yeah, you can either do them individually. So the other thing is, to point out,

is everybody who's playing a character today, everybody has at least one level in rogue. Hence a rogue's gambit. You now have, thanks to Boomer's elegant landing, an ally within five feet. Oh, shit. Which will give you a sneak attack, which is an extra D6 of damage. Boom. So that's seven points of damage in total.

Seven points of damage. So you first punch. What do you do? Like, you know, just a solid punch? It jams with my cane. Okay, bam! Okay. And then like probably a little arm with a tiny fist on it is gonna do the next attack.

Okay. Three. Saw. Oh! Unallowable. Oh my god! That was a show. Three sixes. Three sixes on these really cool

custom Idol Champions dice. Three D6s and a four. So youes. Three sixes on these really cool custom Idol Champions dice. Three d6s and a four. So you did roll a three, however. So that's 18, that's 21, 25, and then your attack bonus. Which is plus six. So that's 31. Does that hit, Mark? That hits, yes.

You've used so many dice already. I haven't even touched a single dice. Aquamumba. He's the leader of the group, like, God. So, the little tiny arm comes out of the stick, punches this tiefling into the sucker punch. You live to this day! You all remember the name! With your own punch.

Aquamumba. Right, from now on, by the way, if you want to use the Hydro-Tempest test, you have to roll them. And then you just come in with it. You all remember the name! With your own punch. Aquamumba. Right, from now on, by the way, if you want to use the Hydro-Tempest Dice, you have to roll them. When you roll the d20, none of this, I'm going to roll it, then add dice. 17. 17 still hits. That's right. Clutching them flat-footed.

Five points. Another five points. As a bonus action. You've already used your bonus action for the flurry. That's right. Never mind that, I've finished my action. There you go. So Aquamumba pummels one of these two tieflings with a series of blows.

Still got it! The other one turns, sees that this goblin's just appeared, seen that you've started attacking his brother, and Rhyme will turn to the three cultists, You three, deal with these! Give me the chest! He takes the chest off them and then he begins a run towards one of the alleyways.

He gets just across the plaza before he actually enters the alleyway and the series of buildings as he makes a mad dash for it. That's going to be his turn. After those, the one that was fighting, the one that you just pummeled,

whispers some demonic phrases. Ach, Xorath, Asmodeus. And ice begins to form all over his body into an armor of such. Which will give him two. And then he turns on you. That was his action. As he turns on you, and then he will utter...

Oh, no, he's already done that. So he can't do that. Yeah, he just turns on you with his new icy armor and pulls a scimitar, ready to stab it through your gut. But will not do so. Right through the gut he works. Right through the gut he works. That'll do it.

The three other cultists will now... Two will turn on Aquamember, one will go after Boomer as they all pull out these kind of curved blades. Curved swords. Curved swords. Yeah, I was waiting for it. As they begin to try and lay into you. Aquamember, you dodge under the first one and you raise the little stick.

Another little arm comes off with a little shield. Tiny shield. Yeah. The second one is a 13,'m guessing misses you. This one does the same thing but it's almost like an Inspector Gadget, a false leg comes over and blocks the second one. Boomer, one's gonna run over to you but this one, catching you unawares as you landed, strikes you across the back for seven points of damage. Cutting through into your leather armour, causing a graze along your back.

Let's see what Glenn does. So Glenn will, seeing these three cultists have descended onto all of you and in fear, will cast Major Armour on himself. He's like, ah! Touches himself as like purple kind of suit of armour emerges around him. He's like, sorry, sorry, I'll help in a second.

I'll help in a second. And then he begins pulling out a wand it seems. But it's like one of those really cheesy kids wands with like a moon and stars and ribbons coming off of it. A black one with like a white tip. That's another one of' wands with a moon and stars and ribbons coming off of it. I thought you were going to say it was a black one with a white tip. No, that's another one of his wands.

But no, this one is like a kid's style nighttime wand as he does that. Fleur. So from up on the rooftops, you have the wide view of this whole plaza. Okay, so I want to see him running with the chest. Okay. And I would like to expend a grit point to do a disarming shot to try and make him drop it. Oh, okay. Sounds great. Sounds great.

Would you like to use any idle champion's dice? Yes. Oh, we already don't have a lot left. You use a lot. I use three. I use a lot. Oh, okay! Wow, I mean that's a hit, isn't it? You've got twenty with just two of those dice.

... ... ... Forty? Does forty hit? I believe a forty hits Katie. Can you make a strength saving throw? I can. Maybe for the next session I'm going to be able to use these dice as well. I did wonder, yeah.

So what is the DC on the saving throw? 13. Oh well I'm afraid that I rolled a 13. No! Damn. Well, okay, he still takes damage. You still take damage and this is using your big rifle. This is using my sniper rifle. Yeah, your bad news as Percy would call it.

15, 16, 18 damage. 18 points of damage. So you hear this... As this bald musket round flies across the plaza, you hear the tiefling... Almost double over, but manages to kind of keep his arms on this chest. Blood splashes all across the wall and begins to trail down onto the stone cobblestone floor. Stop him, you fools!

As he turns around and looks, it's like, shakes a fist, but still manages to keep hold of the chest. Anything else you'd like to do, or is that your whole turn? I think that's my whole turn. I don't know what else I can do right now. Actually, what is reloading? Is that an action? I don't know. I'm not sure how it works. Good course.

It's got the reload property, I think. It only says one action to reload. Reload one. Yep, so I'll take an action to reload. Okay, never mind. So next turn you won't be able to shoot, you'll have to reload. Sure, sure. Can I make my way down from the roof? Yes, you absolutely can. So that would be an athletics or acrobatics check.

Just start climbing down. I mean, yeah. Maybe two or three. I think that's reasonable. I needed it. What was it? Athletics or acrobatics. So...

You rolled 16. 16, yeah. With four dice. 16, 17, 18, 19. One of them is a d20. 19? How much? 19.

You begin, you kind of start jumping down, hitting fire escape, fire escape, sliding down some sort of gutterter pole the rifle slung over your shoulder when it's just in time as well because as you're sliding down you realize that another figure out on another one of the rooftops had emerged pulling back a great longbow and was aiming your direction but seeing you move whips around to aqua mamba and fires a longbow shot. Wow. Ha! They had people too. They had people too. Would a 17 hit you, Aquamamba? Yes, it would. Oh no!

Well, the first shot is gonna be, do, do, do, nine points of damage, but then they need you to make a constitution saving throw. As you feel a venom burn into your blood. 17. But venom, ha, you're the mamba. Venom doesn't affect you. as you feel a venom burn into your blood. 17. Venom, ha, you're the mamba. Venom doesn't affect you.

I am sick. Just grazes past you, feel it burning, just pumps you up even more. The second arrow, however, you manage to leap out of the way. The venom burning through you, causing your adrenaline to leap out of the way as the second arrow plinks into the stone ground beside you. Plink.

Plink. Plink. Great longbow. After the arch goes... Birdie! Birdie! Birdie! Oh yeah!

So how far away did I have to be from the flashbang for it to blind me? I mean it didn't blind you but probably was like, ahhh! It would represent you going last, let's put it that way. I mean, yeah, I think I was looking directly into it despite knowing that was the plan. Eugh! So I'm just going to, without even rubbing my eyes, I'm like partially blinded, I'm just gonna like charge in full speed aimlessly into the crowd. Where would you like to charge into? The main melee in the centre of the plaza?

Uh, yeah, so how far away am I? So you- I'd say you're like no more than 30 feet away. You would have positioned yourself so you could easily get to aqua man, but when shit got real, okay? So the other guy did he he took the chest and then he ran so he's about 30 feet But away from the center of the plaza so he's about 60 feet from Bertie So all I do is catch up to him if I dance if you dash Jess and we'll be able to do anything No, but it would make it easier to chase after him as opposed to giving him a loot. bonus action? I don't think so.

I don't believe I do. Oh. Yes, I do. Cunning action. Oh yes, because you are third level rogue in that case. I would like to

bonus action dash and just charge right through the melee. So you're going to bonus action dash, move action, and then you'll be next to this guy.

And then you'll be right next to him. So charging through, you're going to provoke action dash, move action, and then you'll be next to this guy. And then you'll be right next to him. So charging through, you're going to provoke four attacks of opportunity. Why not? As these cultists all try to swing at you as you just barrel right through the middle of them. Like the juggernaut, like the Terminator coming. I'm going to end up there with four of them grabbing onto my legs. So I imagine that it's not so much they miss, but their blows,

like you just charge through with such force that the blows don't really find any purchase. The first one just bounces off your Goliath skin. The second one, does 15 hit you? It does. It does. So the first one is three points of damage. Okay. The second Cultist, that's only a 12 to hit you.

But then Flow, the Tiefling, will also get to make an attack against you, which is a six. I'm rolling terribly. Awesome. Goodbye, purple dice. Because I'm giant, they're all dead now, right? No.

And when I catch up to that guy... So bonus action, move action, you get next to this other tiefling, who you can see is bleeding from the shoulder, but he's still running, and he looks at you in horror as this goliath just... For the final 30 feet, I'm just winding up a huge uppercut. Okay. And just want to launch him with my metal fist. Give me an attack roll, my friend.

So I'm gonna use two... are we using it for attack rolls? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Use it for attack rolls. Basically not damage rolls. We'll save and see if we want to add them to damage rolls later. Okay. Oh god! A natural one, with three on the two d6s, with a plus eight to hit. Oh jeez. So I mean, yeah, in total of twelve.

Twelve?! You wound up! Three dice. Twelve. You prepared yourself for this punch as best you could but running up I mean what would distract Bertie like remembering something? Anything. Like did I leave a stove on? Just you name it. That light was pretty.

Yeah yeah like something distracts you and you swing but the tiefling has just enough time to throw themselves backwards. Just that tiny scratch on my arm that I got as I ran through. He just like, the final 30 feet, just. Oh, time for damage. Ow! As you just watch as he kind of leaps back in horror,

as you swing and miss, basically. I think he makes a little like, ah! Yeah, there's definitely like a whoop noise from him as you swing and desperately fail to connect. Aquamamba! You should have gone first last time, but never mind. Um, bonus action. I'm gonna do Bardic Inspiration. Okay, on... Team! Gather the hostage! You're under my dealership now! There is nothing you can't do!

You have to pick one person for Bardic Inspiration. Boomer! Boomer doesn't listen! Boomer has no leader. Well, despite that, Boomer, you still feel very inspired to... That I appreciate. To action. So you have a d6. You're not my boss, boss.

For the next ten minutes. You can spend it at any point in the next ten minutes. Inspiration die. Yeah. D6. D6. Okay. Cool. And as my action, I'm going to spin around. Okay. Cane, ding. Two little things come up the top and a tiny string forms.

Come on. Okay. Pointing at the guy that Bertie was chasing after. Yep. The other tiefling. Ding. Okay. And fire a slingshot, sleep sting.

Please don't. What? No. Let me check because Bertie, I think you might be making a saving throw as well. Okay. And fire a slingshot. Sleep sting. Please don't. Okay. Let me check, because Bertie, I think you might be making a saving throw as well. Sleep. Sleep is an error of 20 feet. 20 feet? Yeah. So what I'd like you to do, Aquamember, roll 5d8 for me.

Eight. Keep rolling. Three. Eleven. Fifteen. Twenty-three. Keep rolling. 11. 15. 23. 23. 29. Do you have 29 or less hit points?

No. Okay, so you watch as, yeah, so you watch as this tiefling in front of Bertie. It's like, huh. I think. Yep, just take away the hit points. Unaffected. And just collapses asleep, snoring soundly.

You can even use it once per day. Once per day, yeah. So yeah, you watch as he just collapses into a slumber, hunched over his chest As Bertie is in front of him You hear the tiefling in front of you Angrily Just kind of

Curse and grumble As you do that Boomer So are there cultists? Yeah, there's like three cultists Two of which were fighting Aquamamba And then one's fighting you Can I do a 15 foot cone that doesn't hit?

Okay I'm just gonna go. Oh, thanks toilet snake. You got me all fired up speaking of which And I'm gonna just pull out like I guess it's probably slinging on my back and just this kind of like almost like a giant bagpipe Okay, with it with almost like a giant bagpipe Okay With a, like a vacuum hose connected to the front I'm just gonna give it a big old squeeze and that's gonna be a dex saving throw Is this the fling launcher?

I'm going to, yes, a flame projector Toasty Wow Well that's a failed One has succeeded, one fails It's like a whooping potion or something Okay So I believe the one who succeeded takes half I believe.

Yes, so the one who succeeded takes half and the other one takes 2d6 but can I add some? No because it's a thing isn't it? Just 2d6. You can use the Idle Champions dice just don't take them from the pool. There you go, I'll use those. That works too. So six for one and three six. For one. Six for one and then three for the other one.

So you watch as this bagpipe. As you can see, and they are lit on fire. They're wearing cloaks and things like that. Their cloaks go up in flames, bits of their shirts, as Boomer just cackles maniacally. As this flame just launches all over them. Wow. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So on and so forth. Yeah, so that happens. Yeah. The tiefling in front of Aqual Mamba just kind of spits. It's just like, ah, stupid brother. He is going to cast Misty Step and teleports 30 feet to his brother's body Picks up the chest and then runs 30 feet down the alleyway You will get an attack opportunity yes

So you're like you see this man just appear, grab the chest, look you dead in the eye, bye big man, and then see you. Bye. Wait a minute. No. And you just swing a little too late. Don't even respond. Yeah, and he just runs off.

Oh, Bernie. He is out of spell off. Oh, Bernie. He is out of spell slots. Wow, Bernie. As he just runs, leaving his unconscious brother snoring soundly on the ground. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, little boy. I believe that his brother, does he wake up or is he just asleep? I think he's just asleep.

Just asleep forever. Have you got sleep there? He must make a save, right? I don't know if he does. It's been so long since I've used sleep. Until the spell ends. The sleeper takes damage, or someone using an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake.

So he takes damage. So he just snores. It's a minute duration. Snoozing. Just snoozes away. The cultists, however, being brain-dead mooks who don't really care about anything, they're just going to continue trying to attack you. So two on

Aquamanber, one on Boomer. The ones on fire are slightly distracted like, they're trying to hit you but fail. However, one just launches himself into you with a natural 20. For that's going to be 11 points of damage

as this flaming man just runs at you and slides down. Oh, and we are using injury table rules in this, so that's a constitution saving throw, please. You've lost your head. You can use the dice. I'm not down. It's not down.

No, it's a critical hit. Use the dice. It's fine. You passed. So this blade cuts deep into your shoulder. Yeah, you could have used it for that. Oh. The blade cuts deep into your shoulder but not enough to cause any significant injury. If you want to check out the injury table rules, it's in the Varian rule in the DMG. I've added a few more options to it.

There you go, for those of you who aren't familiar with high rollers. So that's one of them. Boomer, one that tries to stab you. That's only going to be a 12 to it. There you go, for those of you who aren't familiar with high rollers. So that's one of them. Boomer, one that tries to stab you. That's only going to be a 12 to hit. So you leap out of the way. The bagpipe's now out of flame energy. You kind of just toss it aside. I'm pretty sure you've only got two uses. I'm not going to toss it aside! Well, no, I mean like

sling it behind your back or something. Lovingly behind me! Okay. Yeah, and you dodge out of the way as they try and stab you up. Glenn! Glenn will Okay. Yeah, and you dodge out of the way as they try and stamp you up. Glenn. Glenn will, seeing that things are going slightly well, will target the area

with Aquamamba and the two cultists, and he produces this wand. He's like, that's a great idea, Mamba! And he's also going to cast sleep from his wand. I's like, Asakuri idea mamba! And he's also going to cast sleep from his wand. I've got three HP. Fucking idiot.

You have three. Yeah, three HP left. So I'm going to sleep. So you have three hit points left, did you say? So you, all three of you fall asleep. Two of the cultists are on fire, however.

Anderson. Yes. So they're like, and they collapse. He's like, oh, sorry, Mamba. As you fall graciously to sleep amongst this pile of burning men. And that's Glenn's turn.

Fucking Glenn. But then Glenn will try and chase after the one that ran away. He's like, right, done with that. Let's go. He just barrels in towards this alleyway. Fleur. Hello. So you've made your way to the plaza now, so you're about 30 feet from this kerfuffle, and then

30 feet to the guy, to Bertie, and then the other guy's another 30 feet after that. Can I just step so that I can see down the alleyway? Just bring out my other pistol. Yeah. What's the range on the other pistol? I believe... It says 80 slash 320.

Okay, so you will be at disadvantage. Yeah, because it's... Can I move closer? 80 is the short range. Can you do that? Yes, you could. Yeah, you could move 30 feet forward. Can I move so I'm not at disadvantage?

60 feet. Yeah, you could. So you basically run into the middle of the plaza with this madness going on, pull out your pistol and take a... Completely ignore the madness. Okay. And take a shot.

You absolutely can. Here we go. You're going for a natural roll. No you're not. Should have just, yeah. So you add nine to that so 27 alone. 27 plus... 27? Yeah. Yes, that will hit.

Does he have 34 AC? Wait, wait, wait. Good to ask though. I feel like something will eventually. Something will hit. Does he have 34 AC? Wait, wait, wait. Good to ask, though. I feel like something will eventually. Something will, yeah.

Is this the initial thing? No. Eight damage. Eight points of damage. Okay, so that is absorbed by the ice armour that was surrounding him. The ice armour cracks, kind of splattering around it in icy shards, but you're obviously far enough away. Can I take an action surge to take an additional shot?

Yes, you absolutely can. So the first, and then it slinks into the next chamber. 22 to hit? Hits. Seven altogether? Seven more. So the ice armour absorbs some of it but the rest you see like another Seven altogether? Seven more. Dammit. So the ice armor absorbs some of it, but the rest you see like another as a gut shot penetrates through his armor, probably breaking a few ribs.

Not quite penetrating through. However, as the bullet hits, a jet stream of fire will back towards you. Can you make a dexterity saving throw for me, please? Hellish rebuke, yeah? Yeah. Tee-fling! Tee-fling! Tiefling! Nine.

Nine. So you're gonna take, that's gonna be... that's a nine, yeah. Fifteen points of fire damage as this streak of flame. Am I resistant? I'm resistant. If you are a Tiefling, you are being resistant. So you'll take eight.

So the flame washes over you, but you're a tiefling. Meh. Tiefling! Just it. Yeah. These tieflings do seem different. Like the affinity for cold seems that they might be a slightly different type of tiefling. As the flames wash over you, you resist some of it.

Bertie. Okay. This guy's 30 feet away from you currently. So I'm standing above the sleeping guy. Yes. And a bullet just whizzed past me. Two bullets. And then a streak of fire went back the

other way. He's very confused. I got this guy. Will we go for the box? The box, you idiot! You're in the zoo! That's my box! I'll rage. That's my box! And I'll just bonus action dash towards him and just, okay. Bonus action, you get next to him. Then you want to try and grab him, right?

And just grab him. Okay, so make an athletics check, of which I believe you are raging, so you have advantage. Do I? Yes, I believe so. Okay, I'm not even going to use a D6 for that one. I will make an acrobatics check.

Oh, I don't have advantage, but I rolled pretty high. That's fine, doesn't matter, this is a 19. 19? So 28 total. 28, I got a 23, and I thought I was fine. So this guy nearly rigors out of your grip, but you're like, my box! And you just crush him.

You feel like, and you have got him grappled currently. Yeah, and he seems unable to escape your grip. Yeah, that's Bertie's go. Did I even need to tell you? You actually, cause you have movement, you could drag him 15 foot backwards. Because you bonus action dashed up to him, action grabbed him, and then as a move you can move a grappled creature half your speed. So you can just be like, drag him 15 foot back.

Are we within 15 feet of a wall? Yeah. Could I just walk into a wall with him and just... Sure. Like I'm just walking as I normally would. Sure. But just... Roll a d6 for me.

Roll a d6 for me. Cool. Five. You watch as the life of him is nearly squeezed out of him. As he's pushed... You feel like one of his horns break and he's just like, Oh, it's my box, little man! Just pushing him in.

What's the character from Mice and Men? Lenny. But he was never angry. No, this guy's angry though. Bertie's very passionate about his box. But he was never angry. No, this guy's angry. Bertie's very passionate about his box. So, yeah, he's on one hit point. Wow, how is he? So, we go back to the sleeping Aquaman, who is fast asleep.

Then we go to the sleeping tiefling who is also asleep what a mess boomer, it's your go there are two sleeping cultists who are on fire and then one remaining one who is fighting you oh okay who is soon going to be on fire do they technically wake up on their goat

when they take damage they will take damage at the start of their turn and wake up on their goat? When they take damage, they will. They'll take damage at the start of their turn and wake up. Jesus Christ, what are we? A wonderful bunch of miscreants. Do I technically get sneak attack if he's asleep? No. Because he's still there.

He's still there, but he has to be awake. If you attack one of the sleeping ones, however, yes, you will, because you'll have advantage. I'll probably attack the one that's okay that's still up okay um but yeah so i'm just gonna look at him and just start whistling and just pull out this giant club okay that's probably about the same size as me okay and just like start winding it up yeah okay um called that. Yeah. Okay. And I'm pointing at him as well. You're like that way. Okay, let's see if you hit. Would you like to use any dice? Bardic Inspiration, does that work on? Yeah, it works on attack

rolls, yeah. Okay, I will use my Bardic Inspiration and screw it, I'm going to use one of these. Why not? Why not? I roll. Wow! Is that a one? Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. You know what? This is a cultist, yeah.

Do do do do do do! Crack! I'm just having so much fun right now. Oh, can I use Fury of the Small on him? Sure. Yeah. Okay. This seems like a very apt moment for Fury of the small.

I imagine that you're, cause he's a human, you're not really hitting him in the head. You're probably hitting him right in the junk. I was going to say kneecap, but we'll go with kneecap. Like swing height. You're probably groin height. Wham. Like an upward swing 6, 7, 8, 9 and then with furious fall 13 points of damage Jesus to the junk you swing, you do an upward swing you hear something crack snap

and then the man just goes white as a sheet blood kind of comes out of his mouth he collapses dead and somehow you get a home run you see something fly off. You're dead! One testicle. It's out of the frill!

I think Boomer would actually say that. Knocked it out of the park! Oh my god. And Boomer takes it home! That's Boomer's go. I don't know what I expected But This is even This is ridiculous

It's even more It's great I'm loving life The other sleeping tiefling This is a success The other sleeping tiefling Is asleep The two cultists however

Roll Let's say a d6 for me Kim A d6 Yeah Two Okay One of them Wakes up hideously burned

and just spends his whole turn rolling to put the fires out. And he looks super injured. He's just crying. He's like, oh, why? It's murderous. Why have you forsaken me? The other one manages to kind of roll and put himself out as well. He seemed less injured, but they're not going to attack.

They're just going to spend their whole turn putting themselves out. Just rolling around on the ground. I love life right now. Asleep and on fire. Yeah basically. Can you think of anything else? Glenn will walk up behind Bertie. Good job lad, oh very nice. He stumbles back, trips over the sleeping one and just falls prone. Does damage to him, he walks up. He just stumbles over the sleeping guy. Some of my brother, jeez.

Just falls over. He's so useless. Yeah, he is. He's the Simon Pegg. The Nick Frost you mean? Yeah, he is. He's the Simon Pegg. The Nick Frost, you mean? Yeah, he's more of the Nick Frost. Never taking a shortcut. Never taking a shortcut.

So that's Gensglow's game. Just the one called Deception. The archer will fire one arrow at the sleeping tiefling, and then he'll fire one at Bertie. So the sleeping tiefling he hits, which will wake him up, will cause eight points of damage to... Loving damage. Loving damage.

Which you just see this arrow, like the guy's sleeping. No! And he does wake up. I have to make a constitution save. Oh no no the poison I already used Bertie against you that's a six no

I like to think that it hits you and you just you just doesn't register just means nothing to you bounces off me Fleur oh we're back again Just means nothing to you Bounces off me Just bounces off Fleur Oh we're back again Okay

So the tiefling has woken up So he's awake But he's still prone on the ground An arrow sticking out of him You can see Bertie in the alleyway Just pushing one of them into the wall You see the horn snap And the guy looks in terrible pain

You see Boomer Looking testicle shot one of these guys with a baseball bat. Two more cultists are rolling around the plaza on fire. Aquamon is just having a lovely sleep. I am... Peaceful. I'm gonna take a shot at the archer.

Okay, what's the real, how many shots do you get? Six. Six, okay, perfect. So you got four shots left on the archer. So you aim up at the archer. Okay. What's the real, how many shots do you get on your bow? Six. Six, okay, perfect. So you've got four shots left on the archer. So you aim up at the rooftops. It does have some slight cover. Oh, natural 20. Whoa! Not that it matters.

Not that it matters. What's the total, I'm just interested. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33. 33, that's a hit, and it's a crit, so you double the dice damage. Does he get an injury table as well? Yes, sure, let's roll it. I need to make a con save first, that's a hit and it's a crit, so you double the dice damage. Does he get an injury table as well? Yes, sure. Let's roll it.

I need to make a con save first. That's a natural one. Damn. Is he going to get injured? Let's take his leg off. You've injured him as well. Why don't you roll a d20 for me, Katie? Okay.

Five. Five. So you aim up. He loses a testicle. You kind of bring up the pistol, the pepper box. you wait until he stands up to take his next shot. How much damage was it, just out of interest? Did I say 13? Yeah, 13.

So the bullet, basically, you see it hit, it shatters the bone in his arm, breaking his right arm, just as it gets wrenched to the side, as he collapses to the rooftop and a howl of like a Wilhelm scream comes down. And yeah, just echoes down. And you are left down on the ground. Anything else you'd like to do? I would like to, yeah, walk back to where these guys are.

And there's two guys fighting me. Yeah. There's two guys. Well, two of them are rolling on. They're not really fighting you. They've just been horrifically burnt. Roll and roll and roll. She's not really going to be worrying about it, though.

She's just kind of casually quite pleased with herself. The archer attempts to get off the roof and escape. LAUGHTER With his broken arm. Aargh! Wilhelm screams, 20ft down, killing him. LAUGHTER You just, you hear this wet...

Oh. That's it. That's him dead. Oh, brilliant. Bertie! So with rage, am I just in that or can I end it? You can end it as you choose to, yeah. It's bonus action, I think, to end. I'll just like stop for a second and back away from the wall with him.

And then like, oh, sorry, put him down. Okay. And then quick jab to the face. Okay. Sure. Horrible. That's 24 to hit. That's a hit.

Okay. So that's your unarmed strike damage. Oh, no, we said that your metal fist counts as a club, didn't we? So it's a D4. One D4 plus. Plus, you're a swashbuckler, so you always get your sneak attack. Oh, yes, I do. So you always get another 2d6 I think for you.

Which is... Your level 3 rogue. I don't think I would have gotten any though so far. You don't have advantage yet I don't think so. Although the first shot you would have because you were sniped. 13 damage. 13 damage to this one guy with one hit point left. You hear like bones snap.

Now would Bertie have enough conscious to try and knock him unconscious? Or is he just punching him? It's just a jab. So like, I guess with boxing. So it's like his nose goes inwards. Like bone kind of splinters, probably pierces his brain.

Oh. Severe brain damage. Blood just spurts out the back of his head. I got the box. I got the box! I got the box! You hear Bertie crying out. Hey! Aqualumber, you're asleep.

I was asleep. Boomer, there's two guys who were previously on fire who look very badly hurt next to you. They're prone. I was going to do... no, that's probably too much. I don't think it is. I was going to give them one of my bombs to hold. But no, I don't know. It's probably too much.

Why is it too much? What were you going to do? You haven't stabbed me with bombs either. I think you need to make a will check or something. Can I make a wisdom saving throw? I'm guessing you don't want to add any extra dice to it. Nine? Will check or something. Can I make a wisdom saving throw? Wisdom saving throw. I'm guessing you don't want to add any extra dice to it. Nine? Nine, I think like that.

You're giving him a bomb. I'm just going to like point, just like drag the bat around. It's like, hey. Yeah. Just take the circular. Yeah, it's a bomb. It definitely looks like a bomb. And just like, g'day mate

I've got a present for you can you hold it for me and then you light the fuse or are you just giving him one

yeah I'm gonna light the fuse and then hold and just like place it lovingly in his hand and just close his hand

so he kind of was rolling at this cultist and you can see he's like a grizzled man dark beard dark sunken eyes

he's rolling around finally puts himself like finally and then he looks you literally you put something in his hand, he looks down at it, about trying to draw his blade ready to strike you, as he hears the fizzle, I'll give him a dex saving throw to think if he knows.

You use him to light it. He just about has enough time to go, throw it up in the air. Yeah, I'm going to give him a thing. He's going to take you and him, you give me a dex saving throw as well. Can I not disengage with, or like, I have gonna give him a thing. He's gonna take you and him. You give me a dexing throw as well. Can I not disengage with, or like... Yeah, if you wanted to. I have nimble escapes. Yeah, sure, because you're a goblin. So you give it to him and then you're like... And he just nipped back.

He throws this bomb up. You hear this kind of explosion of like napalm-ish fire, alchemist fire. Boom! Kind of erupts. Am I in this? You're on the ground though, right? If it explodes in the air. palmish fire, alchemist fire. Bam! Kind of erupts. You're on the ground though, right? If it explodes in the air. It explodes in the air, but it's also raining down like liquid fire kind of thing. Purple. It's purple. I put details in. You take

four points of fire damage. I'm down. You are woken up and then immediately pass out from the pain of being on fire. However, the man that was previously holding it, because I said he would take half damage as a success, is still enough to kill him.

So the explosion just... And the other guy as well. Yeah, I'll make a 7 for him. Also manages to take half, but would also be enough to kill him because they were easily on the right hit points. So they're both down. They're both down. I'm just going to behold this scene with this purple sparks raining down and I'm just

going to be like, I love life! Then you see Aquamander bleeding out below you. Oh, shit. After your turn, the tiefling who had been woken up by the arrow, seeing his brother be killed, just kind of rolls onto his side. Just manages to stand up, grabs the box and then Misty steps 30 feet away again. I'm holding it.

He's holding it. Oh, okay, you're holding it. In that case, he will... He takes my arm with him. Not the other one, no! He can't do that. He will... He grabs it. He really wants this No! He can't do that. He will really want this box.

He will try and pull it away from you, yeah. He's going to try and make a strength check. Give me a strength check. You're not raging, so you never find it. What did he roll, Mark? What did you roll, Tom? Oh, just a 23. I rolled a 1. You hold the box, and he's like, give me that! You don't even need to move your arm. You're just holding it and he's like,

I imagine you're just messing with him though, like, Well, no, he's just tugging it and it's like, oh. Oh. Yeah, it's obvious. He's like, give it to me, you lunging oaf! That was my box. You fool! That was my box!

You beat him to death with a box. Yeah. He's dead. I'm totally going to read. They're dead. Sorry, I'm just counting off who's all dead. It's the chiefling. Is he the only one left? Yeah.

Glenn is still awake. Oh, yeah. Glenn sees this man. He's like, oh, Take your hands off of him And will cast magic missile On the reigning tiefling So this is maybe 3d4 3d4

Yeah 6, 7, 10 points of damage So proud This guy holding the box But you're looking at this man Trying to tug your box away And then suddenly these three bolts Just hit him in the side

And just launch him away from you into the wall He's still connected to it His arm is still holding on Let go Let go You just tap the arm and it falls away And yeah Well that ends that Except well no actually because Aquamamba Is still down You just tap it on and it falls away. And yeah. Thank you.

That ends that. Well, no, actually, because Aquamamba is still down. So, Fleur, you are the next to go. I go up and prod him with his cane. Yeah? Seems to be dead. Or unconscious, if nothing else.

Cool. Medicine chair? Yeah, you can make a medicine chair. No healers. He is your employer. Yeah, that's the only reason why she's going to do that. Employer is a strong word. Hey, that's enough to stabilise.

That's your minus, yeah. So Fleur leaps down, manages to put the flames out on you, stuffs like a bandage into the wounds from the scimitar. I don't even wrap it round. Just shoves it. We see

the plaza as we hear the whistles and the alarm of the city guard way too late reacting to the explosions and fire and noise that has taken place as they desperately begin making their way to the plaza Bertie you pick up the box

you still have this hostage with a bag over his head kind of kneeling on the ground like Glenn is like oh we should probably get him I'll carry Mamba Picks up Aquaman

But like Choices him onto his shoulders He's like Oh I could give him the kiss of life Please do Okay Puts him down

I'll get the hostage Come on you Like takes the guy And like starts leading him away Are you conscious at this point? No Oh okay No

You just kiss him? Well, no, I'm gonna try and give him the kiss of life. Okay, yeah. Is that a check or anything? Medicine check. Get the medicine. Right, pucker up, sucker! Seventeen! Seventeen?

Enough said. Put your one hip on here. AAH! This disgusting mouth with like, rotted teeth. Lots of teeth. And like, bits of food and stuff. I'm in the Nine Hells! I've descended to the Nine Hells! They finally caught up with me! I had sausages for dinner. And we see that, that's the last thing we see as the camera pulls away from this plaza, as the guards begin making their way in. The group of you sneak off, likely taking into some

pre-planned escape route, some carriage waiting in some alleyway as you are led off to a safe house ready to recover where you can take a long rest. Nice. Hooray! As we see, as the... Oh, I guess that's not... Go in. As the carriage is pulled away and we see it racing through

the streets of Neverwinter, the camera kind of pulls back and we see High Rollers, a rogue's gambit appear. That's about it. Pretty sequence. Yeah, with the title sequence. For some reason, you're in Pokemon Stadium music as well. Yeah. Sure, why not?

I don't think we have a copyright for that. Cool. Well, I prepared, like, really cool chase mechanics that if you ran after them, like, there was, oh, there's complications and maybe you've got like all these boxes in the way that's useful sir we'll get it later yeah just nailed it I can always use them I guess we just get away from the gods yeah you just yeah this was more of a case of setting up where who you are and the kind of madness that the audience can anticipate got a good idea. You're welcome. I think we've got a good idea now.

Testicle home runs. Woohoo! Aquamambas ridiculousness. Verti... Yep. Walking people into a wall. And then the competent... Other competent member of the group, Fleur.

It's Boomer and Fleur. Cool and suave. Other competent. Boomer and Fleur. Overly competent. So far, MVPs. Everyone else, not so much. What are you doing?

Retaining a long rest. Yeah, but the head dice. Oh, you did put the guy to sleep. Yeah, okay Everyone else, not so much. What are you doing? We're taking a long rest. Oh, you did put the guy to sleep. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you get that. It's a long rest, so you get all your hit points back. Okay. We next see you being led. There is, at your safe house, a note is left by an anonymous courier

that simply reads to head down to the gate of Neverwinter, to a stables where there will be a carriage marked with the Harper symbol waiting for you, where you'll be given a new mission and your reward for accomplishing the deeds. In the safe house, it's revealed that the hostage that you rescued, with the bag removed from his head, is a young, very handsome young man, excellent kind of pedigree human, slight scruff of beard,

long, luxurious kind of shoulder-length hair that he brushes out of his way. And this is a man called... Rainier Neverember, the estranged son of Dagult Neverember. How do you spell that? Rainier is R-E-N-A-E-R, and Neverember. And he is the estranged son of Dagult Neverember,

who was previously the open lord of Waterdeep, but was forced out of the city by various political shenanigans. Rainier says,ie's like, well, thanks, friends. I really appreciate you saving me there. I'll make sure that funds are diverted to the Harpers and I'll give them my full aid. And if any of you are ever in Waterdeep,

I'd be more than happy to lend you the use of my estate as a thank you for rescuing me. Do you have any, uh, aspirin? Uh, nope. I was literally beaten and kept captive by a bunch of devil-worshipping cultists. I literally have the clothes on my back. What importance do you have

to them? Uh, they simply wanted a political hostage. They, uh, were gonna try and bribe my father into, well, who knows what. Giving them gold, giving them access to power, whatever these demon worshipping cultists are after. Very classic case. Very classic case. See many in my time.

Hmm. Listen, my estate is in the docks ward of Waterdeep. I'm never there. I'm often adventuring or off with my friends. You're more than welcome. You're never emperor. He's got it. This guy.

And he likes it. No, no, he just puts it on. Very frail. You're a very funny guy. I love it. I love it. Thank you. See, you stopped laughing.

I joined you. But yeah, really appreciate you saving my neck. I mean, I'll be in the city if you ever need anything. By all means, come to me. We need to debrief. Ensure that we've got the hostage back at the harbors. Sure, you want to take me with you? Yes, please.

Of course, yeah. I feel safer with you than on my own. Kneel down! What? Kneel down! He is going to make you carry him. Are you gonna make back? So the least you could do it feels saved your life It feels very strange to be carrying a man much older than me like a small child, but all right nice power labor

Alright here. We go, and he puts you on his shoulders right live life to the fullest I'm gonna cane slap his butt he hoses he's like I I'm quite I'm Quentin Colton noble man that's fine don't all right here we go humans you're so uptight wait aqua Nana do you want us to debrief now? We'll brief debrief with the Harpers We're not gonna do it in public, are we? Dumbo, okay. Come on everybody. Let's go He stopped taking his trousers off See what they're doing?

Yeah? Yeah? I can climb on your back. No. Here we go. Oh, no. No, you big, you idiot. All right.

Put me on your back. Okay, and I'll just pick you up. One-handed. Yeah, another hand, sorry. Just, yeah. Mush. Rainier looks at Fleur. Please tell me you are an actually sane member of this group.

Race ya! Sure. Race ya! Yep, we'll race ya! And I bolt it. He does that. Wooo! Woohoo! He is quite special. I don't even know where to go. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo backing a goblin doesn't really raise too many eyebrows here. You imagine that in the

more refined cities like Waterdeep and other areas it perhaps will be less welcome. Oh no, I'm disguising self as a backpack. Like a Metal Gear box. Like, hold still. It'd probably be more of a minor illusion, but yeah, sure. A dungeoneer's pack, a scholar's pack, a climber's pack. Is it looking a particular way? It's got a snake emblem on it. What colour is it? Backpack mode!

It's a blue backpack with a light blue emblem. Active camouflage! Echo mamba and the zip. Along the journey, by the way, you can just see so much stuff has fallen over and has been knocked down. What have I done? What have I allowed? It's taken...

Sorry, wizards. I'm so sorry. It took an hour and 20 minutes to kill Mark. For Mark to question his life decisions. Eventually, you make your way to the other winter stables. You're proud of us. Many scenarios encounter on our way. When you arrive,

the carriage that has been set aside for you is very obvious. It is a large, six-seater carriage pulled by four very refined, elegant-looking horses and engraved into the door is a harp. The symbol of the Harpers. And when you approach, the door is a harp, the symbol of the harpers. And when you approach, the door opens mysteriously

with no need to open it. And inside you can see a dark-skinned woman wearing magician's robes and a headscarf, very elegant, poised, angular features, and she simply gestures you inside. Come, come. He's going to hop off his back. The backpack.

And as soon as it hits the ground, open me. Open me. Oh, that's disgusting, mate. Rainier looks at the rest of you. Do it. Zip. I ain't touching it.

It's a budging experience. No way. Open me. No way. I'm going to just walk past him. No way. Open me. No way. I'm gonna just walk past into the carriage. I'm hearing a voice. I don't know where it's coming from. I mean, it's coming from the backpack.

It looks like the cane is attached to the side like a side strap. Oh. Do you know what? It's been a while since I've been to the toilet. I start strutting over. I'm gonna turn into a machine. Okay, let's make a move. You see the woman inside just... since I've been to the toilet. I start strutting over. I'm going to turn into a machine.

Okay, let's make a move. You see the woman inside just... Take a breath. Rainier hops inside with you. And as you settle yourselves down, it's a very cush, very plush carriage. There are many compartments built above your heads and under the seats as well, little compartments. A table can be folded out to fulfil the centre area, and she gestures you'll take a seat.

As you all sit down, the doors shut, again, with seemingly nobody to do it, and the horses move up, and the carriage begins making its way out of Neverwinter. The woman, welcome. You have not met me before, but I am a handler for the Harpers. My name is Ilyana. Ilyana Malik. I am a handler. Ilyana. Ilyana. That rings a bell. Do I know your sister? It is quite possible you have worked with her before, Aqua Mamba, yes.

How old are you? I am old enough to be aware of your exploits, let's put it that way. You look younger than me. Please do not try and hit on me. Also, I am old enough to be aware of your exploits, let's put it that way. You look younger than me. Please do not try and hit on me. Also, I am an illusion. I knew that. The form flickers briefly. Greetings. I wish to congratulate you on a successful mission last night. You will find in a cabinet beneath Miss Fleur,

you will find a cabinet that contains 500 gold in payment for you to distribute amongst yourselves as you see fit. We are currently headed to the city of Waterdeep. There is a new mission for you that you will be compensated for. I can give you the briefing, if you wish. Once you arrive, you will have some time to familiarise yourself with the city before the mission is underway. It's all so formal. I thought we were in Waterdeep already. You are in Neverwinter, my dear Goliath. We are heading south along the Sword Coast to Waterdeep, the city of wonder.

I'm sure you will find it most exciting. Can I not reassemble a different team? I'm afraid that there is no time Aquaman. No offense. This mission is of critical timing I'm afraid. Right. Let me give you the basics. A few weeks ago our agents learnt of a small fortune, well a large fortune quite honestly, to the sum of half a million gold coins. Whoa! It was embezzled by a former member of the Masked Lords of Waterdeep.

The fortune has been hidden somewhere in the city, but all knowledge of it was lost. We have become aware that several criminal organizations are currently in pursuit of this fortune. For it seems that a relic called the Stone of Galore has some sort of connection and can possibly reveal the location of this fortune. We sent an agent of the Harpers, codenamed Dandelion. Dandelion was sent in to recover the Stone of Galore from one of these criminal organizations and then to make contact and learn the location of the treasure. We received communication from

Dandelion that he has been able to secure the stone, but is being currently pursued by several enemy forces. Your mission will be to intercept Dandelion and to assist him in locating the Golden Horde, recovering it, delivering it to the Harpers, or delivering the information on how to find it to the Harpers. We've already set up a meeting with Dandelion. You are to meet them at an abandoned tavern called Trollskull Manor in a delightfully named Trollskull Alley. You're expected at ten bells in the evening.

There are a number of businesses and residents there, so we feel it should be an apt meeting point for Dandelion. You'll have the morning to familiarise yourself with Waterdeep and Trollskull Alley, secure any provisions you need. Waterdeep is the City of Wonders, after all, and any magical equipment or gear you may require will certainly be for sale. You will however be expected to use your funds and any of your rewards that you have been provided previously. Of this we'll be more than happy to provide you with whatever you require. This

mission is of great success of great importance and your success will be aptly rewarded. We suspect that the organizations after the treasure to be, well, some of them will have selfish means, but we suspect that there are many political elements that may be at work. This amount of gold, well, it could be used to

great harm against the common people of the Sword Coast. Do you have any questions? Yeah, what kind of payment are we talking here? We will be happy to arrange a suitable payment. The majority of the money will be distributed amongst Harper agents and political

factions in need of the coin to continue good efforts around the city. However, we would be willing to give your party 10%. 10%? We'll get you 10% of the mission. Am I right? Need I remind you, Aquamember, that

there are many debts you have to the Harpers that perhaps are not waiving gold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about my debts. Ooh, somebody's in trouble. Are you talking back to me? Yes. Don't do that. I brought you back to life, mate. That did not. I'd rather be in the seven hells. Nine hells. There's two more.

Ten percent, you see. We feel that that is more than sufficient. Ten percent of what? Of the 500,000. That's still quite a lot. That would be 50,000 gold for you to distribute amongst each other as you see fit. More than enough to buy yourself a small business or perhaps a nice country home and see you comfortably for the rest of your lives. Or shoes.

Or if that is what you wish to spend it on, that research would be admirable as well. Steak. Admirables. Steak. A steak. I will also impart that there are moral elements of the mission, that if you are inclined to do good work, securing this money for the Harpers and for the good political factions among the Sword Coast would be very appreciative. No doubt you will earn many favours from many

high-ranking officials in many cities across the Sword Coast. Oh, I'm sure. We're very refined, lawful individuals, aren't we? Boomer just rolls his eyes savagely at hearing this. I've got a question. Yes? Where are we going? I believe I will... Aquaman, by any others, can fill you in, Bertie, but you are heading to the city of Waterdeep.

I thought we were in Waterdeep! I will refrain from communicating with the Goliath for the future. Any other questions from the rest of you? How do we find a dandelion? They're tiny. I'm going to hit the cane on his forehead. I don't think, do you even feel it? I don't know.

I had to jump. Dandelion. I'm afraid that we don't have much more information on Dandelion other than his codename. In order to keep his identity a secret, it was kept out of the hands of many agents. We simply have received communique from him. And how will we know he's Dandelion?

My understanding is that he wears a Dandelion lapel to identify himself. I like this person. We do know that they are a male. A true expert of the field always has a code name and always has the symbol. And I point at my own snake that's on my blaze. I believe dandelion may be from a very similar era of espionage to your self-aqua. Era? What are you trying to say? I'm past it!

No. Yes. Experienced. Mature. I'm watching all of you. All at once. Ding. What was that?

The journey will take several days, but this carriage should provide you with ample comfort. We have arranged various rest stops along the way at comfortable inns and stations along the manor. You have time to make your preparations. Good luck. As always, if you are caught or killed, the Harpers will deny your existence, and we will not attempt any rescues. Good luck. You got those pills? Wait, wait, wait, wait! The illusion fades. I was going to ask where we were going.

Hey, birdie. Yeah. How's your worm doing? Oh. Pats around for way too long. Pulls out. He's been sitting on it. It's like a very cracked little box.

Here it is. I think you need some feeding. Go talk to him down the back there's a good room it's like a six it's kind of like an escalade so it's like two seats of four facing each other and then two kid seats in the back

but you can kind of scrouch in crunching leaving the three of you in a comfortable four person set up I understand it makes sense Yeah, leaving the three of you in a comfortable four-person kind of setup. Hey, Nerman. Now I understand. It makes sense. He's also got warlock potential.

Some sort of familiar, I assume. Huh? Oh, it's his worm. It's just his pet. Worm, yes. He found it in an apple. I'm sure it sprouted. You do notice, however, that this worm has two heads.

One at either end of its body. Hey, Nerman. Hey, Nerman. Ner. It is an actual trinket he rolls, so, yeah. So it's not a familiar, doesn't have powerful Pot of Warlock abilities. Nope. It's just a worm with two heads. Jesus, simple worm.

Why have I signed up for this job? And with a meat shield, and with an explosive, it's just, whoa! Why have I signed up for this job? And with a meat shield, and with an explosive, it's just waiting to explode. Aw, that's cute of you to say. You're the only useful one, so far. I'm just gonna take out a cloth and start cleaning my gun. You start stripping it on this one table in the middle.

This very elegant, taking it apart piece by piece. 10%, 10%, is that all I'm used to? I used to be the best. Aquamama was the name in place on everybody's lips. Everyone used to talk about me. 10%. 10%. Unbelievable. Boomer's just picking his nose really industriously.

That's what I'm with now, and I used to be with the best. Brain deep. I'm going to be a bag again. Investigating it. He disguised himself as a bag. So Aquamama turns into a tote again. Investigating it. He disguised himself as a bag. So, Akram Iman turns into a tote bag.

I mean, it's like an illusion. So it's like the shape of a man that's like blended against the thing but like his torso is the,

looks like a tote bag. From a certain angle it looks 3D. Yeah. From other angles. The rest is just a texture. You know those guys

that like hide themselves against walls? It's like that. This is how I used to get away from scenes. Just blend into walls. Do we see him? Is it like that scene? Yeah, you can all obviously see him. I think the only one that probably can't

because it's an intelligence-based thing to detect illusions is Bertie. He was just like, It's like in The Emperor's New Groove when you just go, Duh! Yeah, absolutely. Krunk. So you have several days. Several days of this.

Several days. Great. You know that you are scheduled to meet with this agent in a tavern called Trollskull Manor at Ten Bells. Would you like to make a money preparations? We can just skip ahead

to Waterdeep if you would like to buy things. Make more bombs. Yeah, I mean, you replenish your normal vigilante items, long rests. You can replenish the one bomb, yeah?

Yes! So you have four again. So we pre-bought a load of stuff. Would you like us to tell you what they are? Yeah, sure. Okay. What did you buy, Bertie? So Bertie went to the shop and he came back with antitoxin, a backpack, a block of incense, a book, a chain ten feet of it, dice set, flask or tankard, smoke grenade, hammer, hourglass, jug, lantern, lock, magnifying glass, oil, an iron pot, a shovel,

a small knife, some soap, and some string. So as a point of reference, if you didn't watch character creation, I said to the guys that they could look at the Dungeon Masters guide, buy magic items, they could buy gear. That's what Tom chose to buy. Did anybody else make any purchases? I bought Alchemist's Fire, a tinderbox, a lamp oil, a magnifying glass, and a crowbar. Cool.

Oh, and some healing potions. I haven't bought anything yet. I'd like to stop off at Waterdeep. I know a good magic place. Yeah, Waterdeep is a very busy metropolitan city. You can buy pretty much anything. Anything in the DMG, anything in the Playtime, you can buy. Maybe even get some custom items made, if you like. But you'll have roughly the morning. So you'll have, let's say, eight hours.

Talking of which. Or 12 hours, I suppose. I wrote it in my other notebook. But I bought some... Well, I had my guns, which were more expensive. Yes, because you only had a thousand to spend. And I bought some healing potions. Okay. And useful shit. healing potions. Okay.

And useful shit. Healing potions. Good. That's a good idea. Okay, cool. So yeah. So to wrap up, so we've got a little bit of time left in this episode to wrap up.

So is there anything you'd like to buy? The city of Waterdeep itself, eventually you spend the days travelling. When you arrive, the city of Waterdeep is set against the ocean itself. It's set against the coast. And you can see one edge of the city is formed along a very steep cliffside. Looking over the rest of the city is a very large compound,

which you know to be basically the Royal Palace, kind of looks over Waterdeep, where the Masked Lords of Waterdeep, these enigmatic figures who nobody knows their true identities, they're always masked, always heavily robed, run the city. The city itself is split into different districts. You have districts like the docks, which is very, very rich. Lots of very wealthy people live down there. Big merchant ships come in, do lots of trade. You have the old district, which is much more run down, full of old buildings. Strange statues, kind of these enormous like 200-foot statues have been built around the city, and they represent different things, like one is of a sahurgan, one is like of

a sleeping man, one appears to be woman half-dressed lifting up a chalice, all these different bizarre ancient statues are scattered around the city, and they're so old that buildings have actually been built around them, so the woman who's holding the chalice, you can see that sort of tucked under her arm, there have been buildings that have been built into basically her armpit and things like that. The drunken man, there is actually sort of like in the middle of his legs a large stone tower has been erected.

I get it. Lots of this kind of stuff has been built up and around the city. It's very cosmopolitan, but the one thing you notice is it's very orderly. There is a very strong guard presence. They all wear the blue and silver tabards of Waterdeep City Guard, and there are a lot of them.

Flying above the city, you see griffins being ridden by cavalrymen who seem to be patrolling the city, kind of like helicopters or aerial patrols around the city itself. And the guards are all very well furnished, excellent arms and armor. This is not a ramshackle city watch or militia. This is a very highly trained military unit. And they are everywhere around the city. There are notices for bounties. There are notices for illegal activities posted everywhere, and the area that you find yourselves initially drawn to is this large open market district right smack in the middle of Waterdeep, and most prominent is a tavern which sits right in the middle of the city. It's a large

building, stone foundations, wood timbers, thatched roof, called the Yawning Portal. You will all know the Yawning Portal. It is the store, it is featured in stories all across Faerun, across the Forgotten Realms. Great heroes like Minsk, Elminster, all of... Aquamamba. Not Aquamamba. Mert, the moneylender, they have all begun their adventures here. And in fact, the owner of the

Yawning Portal, a man named Durnan, is known to be a renowned, very famous adventurer himself. Very quiet, doesn't speak much, and doesn't talk about his adventuring days, but normally has a story to tell. And it's given its name, the Yawning Portal, by a large well that just seems

to go down and down and down, and nobody seems to know where it leads. That is where you find yourselves stood outside the yawning portal with a morning and an afternoon to spare. How much money did we get from that last job? You got 500 to split amongst you. So 150 each.

I've got it. And then you had initially 1500. Katie had 1000 because of her guns. And then obviously you've spent money out of that as you need to. So I don't know how much money you've got left, but you're more than welcome to come and spend it now. Team, gather round. I want a circle around me right now.

I thought you said you didn't want us to be your team. Well, we have to, because we have to do the job, and I want my 10%. 10%! I'll bully. Anyway, gather round. Come on, kids. Stand over me. Come on. I'm over and look directly down on top of him okay

now I've got the payment I can't believe you didn't ask for this earlier but it makes sense 40% to me 20 20 20 here we go I already took my share okay where? your first taboe how did you? yeah there's 300 gold missing from it already you were a tote bag at the time.

I like your styles. You were a tote bag. I just think they remember you were a tote bag. So how much is 20%? Give the guy his money. I never. Come on. I will.

Here we go. Thank you. Put out your hand. How much? Sorry, that one. Put out your... hand. How much? Sorry, that one. So it's not 150, it's 125 each. I just put my fist out and it just cranks off and onto the floor. I was like, I was looking at Kim like,

150 doesn't work. No, it's 125. Yeah, no, I'm right. I'm a bit dyslexic. No, it's fine. I was just confused, you confused me. It's 125 each. Plus on top of any other money you had. Did you give me my full amount?

Yes. Oh. Okay. Kids. We have two hours here. You can go spend whatever you like. Here's our meeting point. The Yawning Portal.

Very famous. Famous heroic people, you know, like me and other people. Used to go through this town by watering hole. Use it all the time. Maybe pop a gold coin down the well. Good luck. I'm just going to walk away while he's talking. Two hours, no more.

What do you recommend? I recommend you go get some potions of some kind until we get our briefing from Dandelion. We don't really know the specifics and the specialist skill set required so we could get a very custom made magical item you know for yourself so that we can approach it from the right angle. Uh huh. You see what I mean?

Potions, briefs. Potion. Yeah. Brief. Yeah. Magic items. Custom items. Custom. Two hours. So we're in Neverwinter right now, right?

Okay. Two hours. We'll see you later. Okay. So you all split off. What did you guys want to get? I bought a horse. Sure.

Yeah. Normal horse. 50 gold. They cost Yeah Well That's what the player's handbook says When you go to buy this horse

Why don't you Why don't you make an intelligent saving throw for me Actually I rolled You could have rolled some dice with it But I suppose you didn't want to Well I messed up 12 total 12 You pay You could have rolled some dice with it, but I suppose you didn't want to. Twelve.

Twelve. You pay... So, the man who sells this to you, he's a halfling, like Aquamumba. And he's like, my friend, I've got the best horse for you to buy ever. The name's Grundle. Nice to meet you. Wait, the horse is Grundle? Yes! Oh, hey, Grundle. He to meet you. Wait, the horse is Grundle? Yes. Oh, hey, Grundle.

He was once the horse of a prince. What? Which means he's magic. Oh, man. How magic? Doesn't need to eat. Doesn't need to poop. What? Just works. It's amazing.

How did you do that? Even I have to do that. I know. It's magic horse. Wait a minute. I'll sell it to you! Magic! Yeah, I'll get it! 300 gold! I was told to get a magic thing, I'll get that one!

300 gold! 300 gold! Yeah, I mean it fills the criteria that it was given to me! Perfect! Here you go, Grundle! Grundle! And then this stable hand totes out this grey horse, very elegant leather bridle, you know, the saddle and stuff like that. Bridal's the thing around the face and stuff. Saddle's that bit. And then the whole tack is the whole thing, I think it's called tack.

So leather tack is brought out and Glossy Mane hands it over to you. The stable hand looks up at you terrified. That's my horse now It's Grendel And you see the halfling, who looks like Danny DeVito, is counting all of his coins He's like, oh yes, brilliant! Now, there's one thing you should know about Grendel Right?

You need to keep him very cool He overheats, it's a part of the magic! Oh, I was gonna give him like some sunglasses or something. Sure! Do what you want! Okay, you got it. What happens if he gets cold? No, hot. Wait, which one? Oh, then the magic doesn't work!

Oh no. I mean, he's a god, I have him for his magic. I was told by the Aquaman guy. Sure! Told by the Aquaman! Why not? Hey, Nerman! Meet your new friend! You can stay in here!

And I open his mouth and just put Nerman in there. No! Why? There's your friend! You'll be safe in there, buddy! Oh, no. Come along, Gryllandals! He'd say, Gryllandals, okay. friend you'll be safe in there buddy come along well he's got grundle now i'm so happy you're gonna be very sad when you realize what you did to nerman so you just buy the horse he will probably realize eventually um I've got like 75 gold.

Yeah. He did say potions and briefs, so I'll buy some underwear. Sure. And maybe a healing potion. Or I'll go to a place. Let's see what potion you buy. I'll ask for a potion.

Yeah, let's see what potion you buy, Tommy. I love it. I love this character. Isn't it fun playing dumb? It's really easy to be dumb. It's like looking at a mirror. What would you like me to roll, Mark? Well, I'm going to just...

Let me get the potion thing up so I can see what kind of potions you can get. Okay. And it's going to cost you 74 gold, this potion. Wow. And the one remaining gold you buy two pairs of pants with. Just in case. So let's go with... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Magic, magic, magic. 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Roll a d20 for me. You might be getting an amazing deal. 19. Okay. So you just ask for a potion. Okay. The person you buy this from doesn't appear to be quite in their right mind.

It's an old woman, but her skin is mostly bark. Her hair is a mixture of leaves and twigs And you actually you find her as you're taking grundle around the city just in like a sewer like pipe That's the mystery Bertie, how did you get down there? Well not in the actual sewer you're like going outside Maybe you were directed there you said you were looking for potions some street man said oh this potion is down here That's all we've got loads of potions down here birdie You go down and there is a small sign that says

pot hands. Yeah. And this woman is like, yes, dear, you should buy a potion. Yep. Here's the gold. And I give her, like, 74 of my remaining gold. Excellent, yes. There is one additional cost. You must

give me some of your spit. Pfft! It's like a cloth, and it wrings it out into a little leather tube. Yes, very vibrant. Yes, good. What is this? Here you go. Here is a potion. Do you need any of Grondol's spit? Yes.

I just put my hand in his mouth. Oh. You go... Would there be a bit of worm on that? No. She holds up a small worm. It's made from a bone that's been hollowed out and then stoppered with a cork

and engraved with kind of runic signals. Now, when you drink this potion, it will make you very, very fast. cork and engraved with kind of runic signals. Now, when you drink this potion, it will make you very, very fast. Huh? Okay. Cool. It's a potion. See ya.

Yes. She kind of puts the girl in her pocket and then gets out the spit. Oh, why is this so weird? Let me know if you need any more. I will, buddy. I didn't say my name. I didn't even realise. Yeah, that's me.

See ya. Well, come on. You have a potion of speed. Hey, that's pretty good. Let's put that in air quotes, though. Potion of speed. Okay. What kind of speed? Potion of speed. It. What kind of speed?

Potion of speed. It will make him very fast. And see colours? We'll see. Two times underwear. Okay. Yeah, and two underwear as well. Awesome.

Clean? Yeah. New. Ish. One is sort of probably like a really big pair of granny pants though and then one's like a normal men's brief. Mankini. Sure. You can have whatever you want dude. You want to be the crazy

comedy one? By all means. Which is comedy? Playing a character by the way. Anybody else? The only thing I'd do is I'd go to a... You've got a list of things No no it's just on the

Don't read my notes There's just one sentence On the card Which bit am I looking at? Give me the white piece of paper Circle it for me It's upside down. What bit am I reading? This isn't English.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Let's do... and you want to use this person. Okay. That's not really to their speciality. Like the three things that are written on the card are what they're specialised in. Unless you wanted... yeah. So you wouldn't be able to get the second thing you asked for. I'll talk to you afterwards. Yeah, talk to me afterwards, because we can do that before the next session.

Aquamember, Fleur. I'm going to go to a tailor's. Yes. By everybody turtlenecks, and on the back is going to be embroidered mamba mercenaries. Just turtlenecks. Just black turtlenecks. My god. No extra things about them. No magical enchantments. You just want turtlenecks. Do turtlenecks exist in this universe?

Sure! Yes, they do. They do now. It's wool. Okay. They'll take a day to be delivered. They have to be handmade and hand-stitched. Delivered to the Yawney Pall. There's for Aquaman. Very well. Are they the right size? I am not going to put this on properly. He also talks like this. Here's another halfling.

I want to come last, size, human size, goblin size, and army size. Of course, sir, yes, no problem. Right, you know, like you did them like last time. I do, Aquamember. To your usual cut. Would you like them in the latest style? Yes, please. Of course. Like John Wick, the hotel in John Wick.

Real mercenary style. Yes, very good, sir. Like John Wick, the hotel in John Wick. Real mercenary style. Yes. Very good, sir. How much is that? I think that for custom, you'd be looking at about five gold a piece, or twenty gold. Hold on, hold on. I've got my stamps. Last one. That's fifteen gold, and so you get yours free.

Excellent, thank you. Perfect. Man, it's a shame the other guys got incinerated on the last mission no they were really nice ones okay you get some four matching turtleneck every time i go on a team i always get the matching outfits what color are they kt anything please please save me i know when I was in the fight, I really I really want a Widowmaker-style grapple gun. Yeah, you can get that.

A grapple gun? Sure. We can look at making something like that. So it'll probably be a mixture of magical and mechanical. So it's probably made for you by some crazy dwarf. I don't know if I have enough money for it. How much money do you have left? 700. I don't know if I have enough money for it, but we'll see. Well, how much money do you have left?

700. 700. Let's take that 700, but how well it works, well, let's just say it won't always be super reliable. And we'll make something. Okay. But it will be fun. 700 gold.

Yeah. I mean, that kind of magic item would cost like a thousand to 2,000 for what it wants to do. Oh, okay, fair enough. Yeah. I don't know if Boomer would like... He doesn't like magic. It's unreliable.

You can buy mechanical stuff, you can make mechanical stuff if you want to make something. Can I maybe tinker with it myself and try and improve it? Yeah, you've got tinker's tools. You can buy the basic components to try and make it yourself. Can I buy a really big nail for my great club? And get a plus one to damage. It would need to be augmented with more than just one big nail. Could it be a little bit rusty and then septic and therefore deal some poison damage?

That way you are looking at like Again, you would need it to get some special poison that wouldn't go away. So we'd be looking at a thousand golds But it would basically give it you know, like Juto had plus one d6 damage. We could do that to get some special poison that wouldn't go away. So we'd be looking at 1,000 gold. Like the most expensive nail. But it would basically give it, you're not allowed to do that, plus one D6 damage. We can do that. You can add some poison damage to your great club if you want.

But it'll cost you 1,000 gold because it's a rare, unique poison. Yeah, screw it, let's do it. Sure, okay, there you go. 1,000 gold, you get a rare, unique poison, you add some nails to your bat, coat it. You're given a special ointment that makes you immune to that poison, like that particular poison, not add some nails to your back, coat it. You're given a special ointment that makes you immune to that poison. Like that particular

poison, not all poisons. So you don't risk poisoning yourself. Sure, why not? There's only 11 episodes of this. They're all going to either be dead or they'll win, so it doesn't matter. That's how I live. Yeah, that's how you live.

So you can do that. You will go about your business. You buy Never die. That's how I live. Yeah, that's how you live. Yeah, so you can do that. And yeah, you all go about your business. You buy these various goods. And then you meet back at the Yawning Portal. Did everybody get what they wanted? Bertie arrives with a horse. And undies.

Did you steal that? No, no, this is mine. He's magic. You didn't spend that 125 on that, did you? You didn't spend 125 on it, no, this is mine, he's magic You didn't spend that 125 on that, did you? How much did that cost? You didn't spend 125 on it, no Where did you get it? We can't take our horse with us on a mission! What? He's magic

Are you mental? You asked for a magic thing! That's not a magic horse Yeah it is, doesn't need to eat, doesn't need to poop I'm gonna detect magic on the horse Yeah? You can also detect magic? Yes. This horse is actually magical.

What?! Yep. But not in the way that Bertie thinks. You don't know what effect it has, but this horse is magical. Your face. I can't even remember his fucking name. Grundle. Grundle! I'll write that one down. Well, it is magical, fair enough.

But it's gonna be a real struggle concealing a horse. What does it do? Doesn't need to poop, doesn't need to eat. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that that's not what the enchantment does. Pretty sure. It's, actually, with the tech magic, you would know it's a transmutation effect. Some guy whose name I didn't catch said

he didn't need to poop, didn't need to eat. Well, that's completely wrong. Also I had to keep him... Cold? What? I think? One of the two. Cold and warm I think.

We don't have time to look after a horse. Huh? He's magic. There's some good eating on that thing. No. No. He's also the home of Nerman. What did you do?

Nerman, what do you mean? What did you do? Nerman. Where's Nerman? He's in here. And I'm like, eh? Nah! The horse makes a noise as he forces his mouth,

I mean his mouth's empty. He's in here, Nerman? Oh no! Boomer! He's gonna hit Nerman. Oh no! Boomer! Nerman! Why did I let him do this? I'm gonna make ground now! I can't deal. Everyone's just playing. I can't! I can't deal everyone's just

trying everyone's awake it's still ok I can't do this anymore well you know what I think that's pretty much a good point to end

today's episode on I think that the disappearance of Nerman is the best point to end this episode what a cliffhanger. You know that you have your meeting

with the agent known as Dandelion at Trollskull Manor. We fade out on Bertie's horrified upset face. The camera just lingers for a moment as Bertie looks up to Merman and then to be continued. The camera just lingers for a moment as Bertie looks up To Mervyn!

And then to be continued Oh my god That was a very insane episode of High Rollers A Rogue's Gambit Hey me again, thanks for watching the first episode of A Rogue's Gambit Let us know on Twitter at High Rollers D&D what you think of the series so far And be sure to assist us in our adventures in Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms. You can probably tell from that

entire fiasco that we need all the help we can get, so please, just jump in, play the game, it'll be great. We will be back next Friday for episode 2. We'll see you then.