High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: A Rogue's Gambit #3 | Dinner Party Raid

Episode Date: September 21, 2018

Thanks to Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms and Dungeons and Dragons for sponsoring this series! More information below! The team gain a mysterious new member as they head towards a fancy dinner party! Check out Idle Champions here - https://bit.ly/2MJSdYy - to earn us those valuable D6s... we need all the help we can get. All you need to do is play the game! We're playing the brand new Waterdeep: Dragon Heist module! More information here: https://bit.ly/2JdEX8M Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Hello everyone, welcome back to High Rollers, welcome back to episode 3 of A Rogue's Gambit, our 11 episode miniseries in the brand new Dragon Heist module. This series is partnered with Wizards of the Coast and Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Jump into the game right now to help us out on our adventure by generating D6s that we're using to supplement our ability checks and saving throws.

We need all the help we can get so play the game right now. Right now! Katie was unable to make today's episode so Bertie, Boomer and Aquamumba are assisted by a mysterious new character played by Rhiannon, a regular in our Aroah series. You'll meet her soon, but first, let's continue our story following the explosion in Trollskull Alley. Let's play A Rogue's Gambit. Welcome to High Rollers D&D. Welcome to A Rogue's Gambit. Yay!

A mini-series we're doing here on the Dungeons & Dragons Twitch and on High Rollers D&D Twitch to celebrate Dragon Heist, a brand new module. It's out now on D&D Beyond. I think it's out now in your local gaming stores. You can pick it up. It's a really cool module from characters levels 1 to 5 that takes you through the city of Waterdeep and different

Different paths that you can choose. It's very good. It's very exciting The other thing to mention about this stream is of course is that it's also brought to you by idle champions of the forgotten realms Yeah, it's a great free-to-play game. You can check it out on Steam. It's available on mobile apps as well We are there is some talk about them trying to make the system that you will be able to choose whether the players get the dice Or I get the dice People's viewers suggestion and the idol champions team were quite excited Yeah, it's great But these guys for now will be able to spend these dice to boost

their dice rolls so let's do a bit of a recap the party is a group of agents and spies put together

by the Harpers the famous organisation that runs all throughout the Forgotten Realms this special team led by Aquamamba

played by Chris Trott hi he talks like that they have been put together to go to the city of Waterdeep and their original mission was to meet with an agent codenamed Dandelion and recover an object called the Stone of Galore

and then to assist Dandelion in using the Stone of Galore to locate a fortune of 500,000 gold coins. So much gold. So much money. For doing this, the party will be paid 10% of the total sum,

50,000 gold, quite a fortune, but also given many favours with the political figures of Waterdeep, the Masked Lords, the Harpers, many, many others. We could just take it on, Lee. There's been some pretty mad things. You could also do that. There's been some pretty mad things that have happened so far. Bertie, our Goliath boxer,

has bought a magic horse that then ate his friend worm, a two-headed worm called Nerman. And then he tied that horse upside a tavern where they were to meet Dandelion. Where then an explosion eru horse upside a tavern where they were to meet Dandelion. Where then an explosion erupted outside the tavern killing his horse,

killing many civilians and killing Dandelion and their contacts. One figure made off with something that he recovered from Dandelion. There were many clues

left behind at the scene. Witnesses to be interviewed. Bertie took off in pursuit chasing the figure down through the streets of Waterdeep, including a comical chase involving walking window panes, glass being carted by...

I had to jump over some wolves at one point. You jumped over some dogs, not wolves. Dogs. Yeah, sorry. Some fighting dogs. Big dogs. Meanwhile, Boomer and Aquamember were pursued by the guards after Boomer intimidated a terrified young boy who had lost all of his family.

Interrogated is not the right word. Interrogated, intimidated, in exchange for some sort of necklace. Have the time! Threatened is the right word. Threatened, yes. In exchange for some sort of necklace of beads that the. Threatened. Threatened, yes. In exchange for some sort of necklace of beads that the young man had recovered from a barrel. Aquamember disguised himself as a barrel.

No, you active camouflaged against a crate. Like wallpaper. Yes. And eluded the guards, as did Boomer. But you know that the griffon cavalry are in pursuit, searching with spotlights through the alleyways as the guards themselves are fanning out to surround you. And that is where we're going to begin Rose Gambit today.

Look, I'm having a delicious sody pop, so I'm going to... Are the brands available? Sody pop. Cool. Bam. So we're going to get in the alleyway. So, Boomer. Oh, shit. Manquam, you have escaped.

We've escaped. Using your camouflage, you have managed to escape notice. In truth, in, yeah. I'm literally just stood like this. Yeah. In front of a crate. Yeah. Or a barrel.

But your skin is all perfect cover, exactly. But also because you're so small and people would never expect anybody to try this, the guards have seemingly bypassed you for now. And for some reason, they can't hear you whispering. It's very busy in Waterdeep. The streets of Waterdeep are very loud. So at some point, you might be able to return back to the crime scene

or go off anywhere else if you want to try and escape. But Boomer, you are being pursued. You know that this spotlight is searching around you. You got away, but all of the exits to the alleyways have been blocked off and you're now trying to go through these narrow, tiny, corridor, cobblestone streets of Waterdeep as night begins to fall. Night has already fallen. The moon is kind of above. Lanterns flicker. You can see that there are torch sconcesonces you can hear the cries of the guard whistles being blown as they are encircling asking locals have you seen a goblin an ugly horrid goblin on the loose uh china disgusting filthy filthy creature it's killed 12 babies yeah it's just it's just it's just the one baby, actually.

As it's escalated and escalated, you find yourself narrowly trying to navigate through these dirty, very dangerous alleyways of Waterdeep. And you come out into one of these alleyways, and as you begin making your way down, creeping silently, your little goblin feet going against

the cobblestones as you make your way down, you, halfway down, you realise that in a flash of movement, something has moved around on the rooftops above you. As you glance up, there's nothing there. You look to the side as you hear a cratter of trash cans or barrels. Nothing's there. And then when you turn back in the direction you were facing, a woman is stood in the

alleyway. She's dressed in black leathers with a hood, tall boots, a rapier at her side, and a mask, a domino-like mask engraved with scales is in your way. Rhi,

the Black Viper stands ahead of, what you see what did the Black Viper see? What you'd see is a very small very soot encrusted slightly burnt goblin with a really

cool red mohawk and a little aviator hat. Giant bat with rusty nails in it. Like a baseball bat. Like a baseball bat. With rusty nails in and various weird devices, probably all a bit explodey, all over him. And he's clutching this kind of necklace

with a couple of beads on it and probably looks a little bit desperate, a little bit sweaty and like, meh. And you catch him, Flafford. You are an expert of the streets of water deep black viper uh you this is your hunting ground these alleyways drunken nobles or tourists are prime targets for your style of banditry um they often drop their coin purses and flee before you even have to draw it fully uh but yeah this goblin is unusual. And considering the guard presence, you are very much aware that this is probably the thing that they're looking for.

They're looking for this goblin. The thing who is sniffing its way. I have a name! No, no, no, you are a thing. You're a goblin. Faerun is very racist, I'm sorry. I'm also, like, yeah, grumbling under my breath, racist, racist!

Yeah, and you see this creature stood before you. Awesome. What would the two of you like to do? I'd like to start a conversation. Okay. Living in the lost, the little goblin. I know where I am. I just don't know where everyone else is.

Who are you? Well, I'm a black viper, I'm well known. I don't know you. I'm like, what? What are you? Well, I'm a black viper, I'm well known. Fwa. I don't, who are you? I'm like, what? What are you doing? That's weird. I'm sorry. I get a bit excited. That's a nice necklace you got. Where'd you get it? I definitely... I like the slight

Batman voice. Like, Where are you? Where is he? I'm meant to be the vigilante as well! Literally the vigilante. Where is she? You're the vigilante'm going to be the vigilante as well. Literally the vigilante. You're the vigilante in the way the Joker is a vigilante. What? And he's a lovable scam. Yeah, absolutely. What are you running from?

The racists. The racists? Who are the racists? Like, the people with the guards and the watch and the official badges. Oh'm a hoity-toity watchman oh i think that goblin blew everyone up goblins do that oh they ate a baby as well look it was one baby and it was 10 years ago all right okay so they're so you're they're you're what they're looking for i i can okay that's fine that's fine do you need help? I can help you. You seem, you seem, seem like fun. I'd like to... I have been described as fun, yes. I am a lovable scamp. I have been described as fun in my life, yes. Once or twice.

At this point, you could probably smell me now. Like quite pungent smell of like oil and soot and yeah,ungent sweat yeah from all the running yeah i know the city well i know it better than you do we could we could i could help you let me help you i mean all my life when i was a young boy i hoped to meet beautiful women all dressed in black asking me to come with them and Have I died and gone to heaven? I don't know, so let's just test this out. After you, my dear. Yeah, I was going to say, the Black Riper, you are so well trained in the city,

you can easily avoid these guards, these beat cops. They're chumps for you. You lead Boomer into what appeared to be just the back of a building, some sort of building, but with a few taps on the wood, you begin sliding panels out of the wall itself and you step through into a little secret

corridor into a cellar that you know will lead out into a small drinking establishment down the way and then you can from there you should be able to escape into the thronged crowds of the metropolis that is Waterdeep. And I should point out, Waterdeep is an enormous city, and it is full of varied creatures and people and races,

all kinds of people from different backgrounds come here. Almost nothing, except goblins, is really looked down upon in Waterdeep. I see, okay. Also, Kim, as a point, you'll be pleased to know that this chest, the code for today's chest is a Nova reference from Eros. It's an Egonassi chest for you. Oh, don't! I'm pretty sure Clive came up with all of those, so that's why he knows Eros.

But there you go. Aquamamba, what would you like to do? You have eluded the guards, but you can now see that they are beginning to take control of the crime scene. Where the stone was taken, where this explosion occurred, they're beginning to interview all the witnesses, they're beginning to scour it for clues, and they're actively looking around. What would you like to do? Okay, let's have a look at myself. Would you like me to go to Bertie while you figure out how your character works?

Okay. I'm going to cast this how your character works? No, okay. I'm gonna cast Disguise Self again. Right, okay. But I'm gonna turn into just a peasant. Okay. Like a little peasant halfling? Yes. Okay. So your beautiful blue striped suit becomes beige and brown and boring colours. Disgusting. Boils on my face.

Dirty, ragged hair. Do you even have shoes? Full patch on top. No shoes. One shoe. One shoe. One shoe with a hole and a toe poking out. Yep.

Okay, classic. A crusty toe. I'm going to hobble along, mumbling to myself. Okay. But I'm going to mumble, a criminal always returns to the crime. Okay. I'm going to have a little look around, Equimumbah style. Okay.

I'm narrating myself because I'm- Yeah. It's very Jeff Goldblum. I like it. Carry on. So you make your way to the crime scene. You're going to have to go through the crime scene. You're going to have to go through the crime scene. You're going to have to go through the crime scene. You're going to have to go through the crime scene. You're going to have to go through the crime scene. gonna have a little look around okay i'm narrating myself because yeah it's very jeff goldblum i like it carry on uh so you you make your way through and you can see uh as you actually return to the

crime scene it's not just that the guards are actively interviewing people you can now see that somebody has arrived to take command of the situation two individuals in particular are leading the investigation um and they're certainly interesting characters that you can see. One, they're both human, although one, no, one is a dwarf, sorry. One is a human. The human male is wearing

armour of the guards. You can see a long, shortish side. He looks quite old, like an old wizened captain of the guards. You know, grey moustache, very finely twirled and pressed, slicked back kind of hair, little balding spot, looks very regal, he's very kind of going around judging everything, like looking down his nose, he kind of nods as he walks around, he barks a few orders as people pass and seems to be focused more on the men. The

dwarf is wearing robes, He carries like a cane, topped with some sort of crystal. And you can see he's very close down to the ground. He's tasting the soot of the blast marker. He's looking around strangely, analyzing things, and seems to be fully investigating the scene itself. I'm going to go to the dwarf. Okay.

He doesn't even seem to notice you until you're right next to him. Where's my wife? He like stumbles. My wife! Yeah! How did I- That's-

Ugh! He like looks up at you. And you can see that as he looks up, his eyes are actually shimmering in colours. You can see that some sort of magic spell was obviously active when you spoke to him. He's like, what are you talking about, my good man? There was an explosion! Hang on, I have to get his pipe. My wife was running

to the bar because she forgot to pay, and then there was a huge explosion. Sir Crumbly, Sir Crumbly. And the older human guard man looks around, he's like, perhaps one of the survivors or victims or partners

here. Deal with this. I'm busy investigating the scene. There is... The game is afoot, Sir Cromley. The game is afoot. There it is. It's just like, yes, yes, my good man, yes. Barnabas Blastwind will solve the crime, fear not.

But Sir Cromley is the one to speak to about dead bodies or some such, I don't know. You should know if you're investigating the crime, surely. Oh, my crime is a greater one, my good man. I must find out what caused the explosion and also what happened. And then he dramatically points

to the missing body that was here! And you can see a faint outline. Wait! I'm looking at the outline! No! It can't be! My wife! He looks down at a very clear human male

sword shape like that. Give me a deception check with disadvantage hey you throw enough dice you might make okay this is the this is the Kim Richards school of using the dice chaotic useful just the four okay just the four yeah we're Yeah, with disadvantage. Shit, they blended in. 18 plus five. Disadvantage. Four plus five, nine.

Plus your skill bonus. 24. Four plus. Four, eight, 10, 13, 17. I thought that the five was the dice. Okay, so 24 even with disadvantage. All right, let's see how much Barnabas Blast Wind can make an insight check on. Natural 20.

Yay! Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! Doesn't even need a D6. But I got 24. Yeah. And he actually skill bonus from insight to it. And you are dealing with Barnabas Blast Wind, my good men! You cannot fool me with such deceptions.

I see the magic on you. So calmly, I think that we have... Hakubaba! Rumble. Okay. I love this so much! Give me a second. You're like a Pokemon. I need to get...

Get off of me before he runs off. Let me just get the stats for Barnabas Blastwind. I panicked. Panicked. Aquamumba! Aquamumba! It's like a void bird. Woof, woof, woof.

Okay, so... Well, that was a rumour running away last time. So how are you trying to get away? What are you doing? You go, Aquamumba! And then you... What do you do? There is probably... The square itself is about, I would say, 30-40 feet, kind of an open square, like a kind of like square in between a bunch of buildings. But there are all sorts of alleyways splitting off. You can reach any edge and run from there. So you've got 20 feet before you hit an edge, and then you'll have to- then you can make it into an alleyway. Okay, I'm going to run towards an alleyway as fast as I can,

but also cast Mage Hand and Bitch Slap. Butner does Blast Wind. Okay. To stop him talking. Okay, so you're like, okay. So the Mage Hand just goes off. You actually knock the pipe out of his mouth. Oh.

As he gets slapped. And then then you rush you dash off towards the alleyway um okay fleet footed halfling okay what does that mean i don't know i'm just hoping you're hoping it matters somehow he's just saying okay i can do step of the wind as a bonus action so i'll do that too okay so that you can dash with that right yes so what's your total distance you can go so i can go a total of... Because I want to look up the range of something. 35 feet in total, and then I'll dash to 70. But I'm doing it as a bonus action.

70 feet. So you're 70 feet away. Six seconds. That's pretty quick for a tiny man. Mage handing. Well how are you making, because a mage hand would be an action to cast. Yeah, I've got bonus action.

To dash 30 feet. Yeah, so that's 30 feet. Plus your normal movement of 30 feet. 35. Oh, have you 35 movement? Yeah. Oh, nice. Apparently you're faster than me,

with Step of the Wind. Pretty good. You're like Bowser, you take time to speed up and hit your max speed. Yeah, if anyone comes up behind me and spins me around, they can throw me into a bomb. They're out of range! We should try that. They're not throwing me.

Sorry, I was not expecting you to deal. He hasn't got the range! It's a real shame you have a smoke bomb he's like boom away okay I've got a smoke bomb actually

Ouma does so uh yeah so basically okay so in that case you watch as Barnabas Blastwind

he points in your direction and his little feet he's like and he tries to run after you but he doesn't get very far um so Cromley takes a but he doesn't get very far. So Cromley takes a moment. He doesn't seem to really fully understand what's going on,

but he sees you running and that's kind of his turn, is realising what's happening. He sees a peasant running, right? He sees a peasant running, yes. Give me a stealth check. Give me a stealth check to see if you can disappear into the alleyway

with a second advantage Why? I'm disguising self so I mean yes, thank you don't look like you Okay, 20 okay 20 We've got six expertise 6. Expertise. So, I'll do Sacrumbia as well. Oh! So, Aquamamba

slithers into the alleyways and vanishes from the crime scene once again. And yeah, you can easily make your way around to another area. Oh, 20. I might get away with this. And then you turn up again to a slightly different person. If you can keep doing the spell slot, sure.

That's my husband! My husband! Bertie. Hello. What would you like to do? What would I like to do? So you were knackered. Like miles away, aren't you?

Yeah, you would basically run something like 400 or 500 feet away from the crime scene. The last you saw of your quarry, the man with the burned face was it in the fugitive? Is it the man with the, was it like Harrison Ford? He said it wasn't me, it was the blah blah blah man. I have not seen the fugitive

in such a long time. I guess why? I know I'm old, but like. I mean, I'm also old. Also, assume our audience has never seen that show. The D&D audience have seen The Fugitive. I firmly believe they've seen it. But anyway, Tom Hazel, you saw your quarry, the half-burned man,

had vanished into a noble district called the North Ward, but the crowds were too thick that you kind of lost him in the blend of people. I mean, I think I'd probably spend a long time just watching the crowd go by, just like, is that you, the guy? No. Are you the, no.

Okay. Yeah, you watch the crowd for, yeah, you watch the crowd for some time, few hours pass. It is quite late. Albus! Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, well. That's it.

It's Bertie, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, yeah. All right, and I, eventually I'll sort of slowly walk back I suppose to where I last saw everyone else even though this is really late at night

this all happened about 10-11pm yeah Waterdeep is like New York it doesn't sleep it's always busy people are always out

there are carriages going to and fro the city's nightlife is as lively as it's daylife it's always always active

the crowds are thick people are always out people are hawking wares, selling food. Restaurants are open. Shops are open. It is a city that does not sleep. There are magical lights along all of the main thoroughfares which provide lights the whole

year round. Advertisements of magical illusions. It's kind of like a Times Square along these kind of like main thoroughfares. I feel like surrounded by that beauty Bertie has hit that point like in the middle part of the film when the depression really kicks in. Right, okay. And he's stumbling around, smashing walls like,

Grendel! No! And then walking past people and being like, they killed Grendel! Until eventually I just collapse on the floor and fall off and cry. Yeah, I think you narrowly, you probably narrowly avoid

Being arrested Because you look like a mad person Like I'm not mad, I'm madly in love Yeah People are yelling grundle People are very confused but yeah The realisation that you're

I like look through a window Both numb and grundle Yeah you're... I look through a window. Nermin, both Nermin and Grundle. It's black and white. Darkness, my old friend. Darkness comes around again. Forever, yeah, I'm just crying. It's forever to be. And then, yeah, you just have this image

of this half-burned man running from, fleeing the scene. Yeah, and then I burst into a musical. Okay. I'm not going to do it. Well, then you don't. You don't do it. Oh. Grundle.

You were my favourite horse. I really had a cool idea for this campaign, of it being Mission Impossible and James Bond and it was going to be really cool No, there isn't No, I've given up So, you've all gotten away Where would you like to meet back up?

Do you have an organised meet point that you arranged with Aquamember? Do you just head back to the outskirts of the Trollskull alley? I think we're just all going to head back to the crime scene, that's where we I think we're just all gonna head back to the crime scene. That's where we last saw each other. Yeah, I don't wanna be anywhere near where he was.

Yes, Aquamember. Can Aquamember do an intelligence check for memory issues as to whether he remembered telling the group where to meet up again? I mean... Well, no, that would be up to them to remember that. No, whether I told them or not. Whether I remember to tell them. So you want to basically go,

can I roll to rewind time? Is that what you're asking me? And actually tell them and say that I told them to meet up somewhere. That's actually what you're asking me, isn't it, Chris Trott? Sure, you can do that. The DC will be 35. 400.

And I'm rolling intelligence? Yeah, you can roll, um... That's a plus zero. Yeah! So I need, um... A lot of dice? At least three of those, a natural 20. Oh, you can roll more than three!

There's no limit to how many you can roll! You know what? I'm going back to, um... I'm gonna say... Uh, the watering hole. Uh, the yawning portal. You're gonna go to the yawning portal? Yes're going to go to the yawning portal. Yes.

Okay. Where we first organised this. I mean, I'm... Debacle. I guess I was just going to head back to where the explosion was. However, you aren't quite far away from everybody else. Oh, yeah. So.

Okay. Yeah. For the sake of brevity, and because there are only a few episodes left in this micro-series, you encounter Bertie! As you are making your way towards the yawning portal, Lucky. Uh, Boomer appears from the shadows, accompanied by a mysterious woman.

Oh! Uh, as you all meet up somewhere in Waterdeep. I'm not gonna meet them directly. Can I see Bertie? And then duck into the shadows? Yes. Perfect. I'm gonna use my cantrip message to point at him

instead of message telepathically. I see you. You hear a whisper. I see you. Grendel? No! Huh? Now I'm just- Grendel, are you there?

No, it's Equimamba! Oh. Look! Huh? Look, it's me! What did you... were you... I spoke in your mind. You can do that? I can do that.

Oh, that's real cool. Yeah. Um... Look behind you! Is that... wait, whoa! It's Puma! Oh, I thought it was going to be Gondola again. Wait!

I'm going to duck into the shadows as soon as I see the Black Viper. Okay. Thinking it's a threat. Okay. Make a stealth check. Okay. Give me a perception check. Black Viperper I'm just picking my nose at this point Do you have a bonus on it? Perception 2

22 I'm gonna cartwheel into a barrel The lids already open Do I have to check? Sure you can make a perception check as well. 18... 18. Don't see it. Aquamber, if nothing else, if he is

useful for one thing, it's hiding. Being inanimate objects. Crates, barrels, cardboard boxes. Buddy! Buddy! Buddy must be in hell! Kidnapped! Kidnapped! Barrels, cardboard boxes. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Bertie! Bertie! Bertie's been kidnapped! Kidnapped! What?

What? There's someone with Bulma! Bulma? Oh, hey Bulma! Hey Black Viper! God. How do you know? How do you know?

I know. I know because she's my contact. Oh, of course. What? Yeah. That's perfect. So yeah. So Bertie, you look over and see the Black Viper.

I would love a very short flashback on how Bertie and the Black Viper know each other. Oh my god. Because I would like to know how this incredibly skilled, well-known, bandit woman thief knows Bertie. Wow. What if, maybe... There's no what if, Tom Hayes. Okay. Well, this is it. I'm making your story now.

You can work together. You can work together. That's fine. So I'm an ex-boxer. Nice. And I used to be pretty smart until I took like 300, 400 hits to the head, right? Right.

So what if you were my coach? And you're the reason why I'm so quick on my feet as a big guy. So you had special training. Probably like, kind of like Rocky, you were like the back alley trainer. Like, you would just appear and you would train by lifting things like crates you found in alleyways. Yeah. And, you know, lost horses. That kind of Rocky style in the woods.

What are the specialties again? Well, I mean, I guess this is... Yeah, yeah. The Black Viper is well known for burglary, sneaking into places, stealing things. Kind of think of like the Catwoman or Black Cat of Waterditch. You know, I've been watching Gotham all week and I just can't help but think you're Solomon Grundy,

you're the cat, I'm probably some weird penguin Joker amalgamation. Yeah. I don't know what you are. Perfect! You're like the really shitty Dick Grayson. You're like the really lame Robin. Well, maybe there was like a fight going on,

and there was like a whole lot of money from people's bets, and I was the only one that caught you trying to steal it. Oh, that's cool. I like that. So everyone had all of their bets on this fight. This was like a big fight organised. Maybe this will tie in with how you got in trouble with the Xanathar and the Black Network. This was a fight orchestrated by these two crime gangs.

It was a big fight, loads of championship fights going on. You were one of the competitors, Bertie. This is in a place called... Oh, God, there's actually a place for this and I can't remember what it's bloody called. Boxing ring. No, there is a... There's a place under Skullport, it's called.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. There's a place called Skullport, it's called. There's a place called Skullport beneath Waterdeep, which is the top layer of an ancient dungeon which was built by a mad wizard long, long ago. And Skullport is basically, it's underneath the docks, so it faces into an underground cove, basically. And Skullport is where all the criminal scum... This is the Mos Eisley of Waterdeep.

And it's run by a creature called the Xanathar, a beholder who runs a thieves' guild. And the Xanathar and the Black Network, the Zentrum, which is a kind of, like, global bad guy organisation, organise this match. You were the fighter, and you can pick which side you want to be a fighter on.

Which side? Yeah, who was you fighting for, the Xanathar or the Black Network? I don't know, probably the red corner. I don't know, where did you pick us? Cool, it was the Zenturim. Cool, are they the good guys? Sure. Yay!

You don't know anymore. You don't know anymore. I've got no idea. So you were one of the top fighters, the prized fighters in this championship match. Awesome. But as the match concluded and you're kind of beaten up in your rocky state like, Adrian! My brother!

It was revealed that the prize money had gone missing. All the fighters are sent out to try and find it. And yeah, maybe you just caught on the edge of Skullport, the Black Viper. I catch up to you, but for whatever reason I let you go. Nice. Yeah, for you just caught on the edge of Skullport. I catch up to you, but for whatever reason, I let you go. Yeah. With the money. Yeah, for some reason. Maybe a favor owed, perhaps.

Yeah, so the Black Viper owes you one. Yeah. There you go. So we see this meeting. So that kind of flashback, we see the scene of how these two meet. We see like a wounded, like Adrian, Rocky-style birdie. I like the idea of like a waterfall and like a cavern like the kind of like edge of a cliff and the black viper's there with her sword yeah and you're like you'll owe me one one day you'll owe me one black

viper you'll owe me one one day and then just falling off like a badass. And then we hear a splash. And then as that, we fade back into this kind of meeting. And Aquamember, you see Bertie's just like, in my diaper. What? Oh yeah, I know her. She's cool.

We go back. We go back a real long way. I'm gonna tip the barrel over. Roll it to the middle and just kind of crawl out pop up fire I probably couldn't write the battery okay what oh so what I kind of let her go she took a load of money she taking a share of the money the money we're gonna get from the job we're getting paid for this oh no i mean no we're not oh no episodes uh you are getting more batman i'm gonna be a rip-off batman yes

you are getting paid for this but you don't listen to him Oh nice, how much? Like 3 gold 3? Hey! 3 whole gold Nooo Just for you Bertie I mean I'm already down the hole, I paid like 300 gold for Grundle Where is Grundle? What do you mean where is he? He blew up Oh yeah he blew up

I know he did Hilarious Sal It was funny, it was very depressing More importantly than Grundle dying horribly and all over the street. Yeah, he's everywhere. We've lost Dandelion, our only contact. We shouldn't discuss this with this person here. Who are you?

Oh, I already told her everything. Why? What, it was a long walk! It's not part of the team, I didn't get a turtleneck! I had nothing else to talk about, alright? I didn't get your turtleneck, I'm sorry! It's okay, don't worry, don't worry. Are you taking a share now?

Share of what? Why are you guys here? No, no reason. We gotta go and find some dude and like get this stone. He's blown up. Yeah, we're gonna get three gold for it. You're gonna get a hundred and twenty-five you twat. 125? Yes. Oh, cool. That's cool. Yes. It's more than your fingers and your toes, yes. Oh yeah it is. Pretty bad. Our only contact exploded in the middle of the street. And also, we may look like criminals that did it. Oh, but hey, I know who did it.

I know who did do the blower. You do? Yeah. He burned on one side of his face. And he had, like, a tattoo of a thing. That's right. A winged black serpent. Yeah.

Which you think you should know, but you've forgotten because you're both... Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a snake. It's like you! It's like you! No, it's like more like me. Aww, we got a snake off! It's more like me. Black viper, aqua member. Yeah, you're gonna have to change your name.

Oh, I see you're a fellow purveyor of snake names. I do like my snakes, yes. Very nice. Aquatic-based snakes. Aquatic snakes, interesting. Yeah, they hold their breath way longer than ground snakes. They just have way more versatility. And they're ultimately better than anything.

It's a three-handed deck. It's not the Black Viper, you killed Rhiannon. Unless Black Viper just audibly laughs at one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just laughs at you. That could be true. I'm just going to sit back. I had a really tiring weekend.

I'm just going to sit here for a while. What kind of snake would you be Bertie? You would never be a snake. Too clumsy. I'd probably be like Noman. That was a worm. What? Yeah, he was a worm. I thought we had something in common Aquaman. That was a worm. What? Yeah, he was a worm. What?

Oh, I thought we had something in common, Aquaman, though. No, that was a worm, and you put it in a horse's mouth. And now the horse is dead. The horse blew up. Maybe, maybe no one's still there. Maybe no one's still there. I'm not going back there. You can't go back.

Why? I've lost my peasant outfit and my own outfit to the guards. Great. Well, where are we going? Well, while you idiots were busy running away and doing whatever you were doing. I was chasing you, actually, because they all saw you. Yeah, you almost blew my cover, mate. I tried to get away and you were being like, oh, boomer, get a water, oh, and then you got a barrel.

What was that? That's how I get away, Aquamumber. Anyway. Aquamumber. You're Aquamumber, I'm Boomer. I know. That's how I get away, Aquamumber. Okay.

Aquamumber. Aquamumber. It's my Aquamumber routine. Well, Boomer here ain't just a pretty face. Yep. I'm also pretty small, you see. See, I rustled that body before I had to off-skate. You did?

And I farmed things. Which body? The dandelion. Dandelion's body. Oh, okay. Yeah. Did you not see it? Little no?

No, I didn't. No? He had a little dandelion badge on his lapel? Oh, yeah. I saw him running towards me before, like a big flash of light and then a big dead horse. Well, so we got the stone. You should have stopped laughing. He didn't have the stone on him.

What did he have? He had this wooden chip, and I hold up a little poker chip with a smiling mermaid eye. Yep. Right. He had seaweed on his boots. Yep. And he smelt like you do. Smelt like the sewers.

What? I don't smell like sewers. Yeah, you do. I wear cologne. Like a classy gentleman. What is it? Oh, the toilet. Yes, it is.

So, yeah. You've heard it. Oh, God. Yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Bam. Yeah. As a point of evidence for the adventure, by the way, Kim, because you also found other things on the body,

which I know you don't want to tell everybody else, but this is for your knowledge, the gemstones you found are exquisitely cut. They would have to have come from a very wealthy family, likely some sort of valuable Jewelry item so they could probably be traced where they came from and that's all I found Can I do an intelligence check? You can make an insight check and boomer can make nothing to do with this car. Oh, I know that's natural 20

That's enough not that what is this about? What are you trying to figure out? Can I have a look at this? this poker chip? I think. Cha-ching! I drop it. Okay. I'd like to point out as well, uh, while you guys were off buying your horses and getting your little sweatshirts

and whatever you were doing. Turn on that! It's just the one horse, actually. Boomer here actually did some real work. You call yourselves professionals. I talked to some of my contacts and I heard some murmurs about some Luskan fellow down on the docks

on these pleasure barges. What does some lusty fellow got to do with anything? Luskan. What? Luskan. What's a Luskan? I don't know. What? Luskan. What's a Luskan? I don't know, but I'll find out. What's a Luskan with you?

Was that a joke? Get one, mate! Luskan is a kingdom to the north, which has always been at rivals with Waterdeep and the Sword Coast Alliance. Set. Boring Dungeon Master Mark of riding all the lore to interrupt your comedy.

Well, in my chat with some of the guys in the Yawning Portal, they mentioned pleasure barges and they had casinos on them.

Oh. So I think that poker chip belongs to one of them barges. Well, I was going to say it's likely that Dandelion was a purveyor of underwater casinos. Well it's on the boat.

Because of the seaweed. Yeah. And I assume he held his breath for a long while. I mean that's a poker chip. To be able to enter a casino that's entirely underwater. Or it's from the boat. Could well be. We will definitely put that on board.

It's called the Sea Maiden's Fair. It's an idea. Actually I've got a date to go there with that rich board. It's called the Seaman's Fair. Actually, I've got a date to go there with that rich fella. What's his name? Let me consult my notes here. They're a bit burnt. Mert! All right, well, well done.

You were at the same bar. What were you doing? You followed my instructions to the point. You actually were kind of shady with the instructions. You just mumbled a lot about sweaters sweaters exactly at which point I will need to pick those up if we had to continue as a team I will have to reorder yours I don't need a sweater it's fine don't worry you will need a girl my own garbage so great it's okay just let him have this you can show you can show them what

you don't like oh. I look like Batman. Like Catwoman meets Batman, basically. Dark clothes, Assassin's Creed. Way cooler than the turtlenecks. Yes, very Axie, very Exio, Alditore. Yes. We can fit a Cabrera squeeze a turtleneck over the top. It's important to represent our branding.

Okay. And to really put our team name Aquamamba Out there Mambas members Okay That sounds great Oh god Thank you

Tom hates it but he loves it That's actually not even what he ordered He's actually forgotten what he actually ordered Mambas Members Would I know Don't forget it About casinos and stuff

Yes So give me You're going to know some stuff No matter what Yes But roll me Members. Would I know about casinos and stuff? Yes, so give me, you're gonna know some stuff no matter what, but roll me a... Let's do it as a straight intelligence, so just a d20 plus your intelligence modifier. But also Rhiannon, because you've not been in an episode before, this big pool of dice, you may use it any time. And you can use as many of them as you want. And it adds to your dice roll. You can grab a clump. But you have to grab some before the roll. Yes, you can't add them after.

I'm gonna grab three. Oh, that's very conservative. He just wants you to use them all. Er, six, seven, nineteen, twenty-six. Twenty-six, and then plus your internal interest, which I think is zero. So twenty-six, okay. So there's a couple of things you know. Woop! Cool.

Those are gone. Let me go to some advanced notes I made. So yeah, the Seedmaidens' Fair. As Boomer speaks about it, there's some things you do know, because you've obviously been in Waterdeep a long time. You know a bit more about the city than these guys do. They arrived not long ago,

and they arrived... The Seedmaidens' Fair is actually three ships. It's a trio of ships, but the whole thing is called the Sea Maiden's Fair. It arrived not long after the rumours of this stone and the money, which you've been kind of pursuing and trailing, came into Waterdeep. They kind of almost seemed to arrive at a suspiciously similar time. It is three ships, the Eyecatcher, the Heartbreaker and the Hellraiser.

Love that, that's cool. The Eyecatcher is actually moored out in the harbour. It's actually out at sea. The other two, however, are moored and docked, and they are open to the public. They contain casinos, dancers, there are wonders, clockwork people, there are animals, strange lizards, there are shows that you can go and see aboard them, there is company for the evening if one so requires such matters.

Are there goblin belly dancers? Maybe. Who knows what wonders the Seedmaidens' Fair will have. What a wonder that would be. What a wonder that would be. The Eyecatcher does have casino, but the Eyecatcher is reserved for elite guests only. It's by invitation only. And with your 26, the only other thing of information you know is that it's all run by a man called

Zardoz Zord. No, Zord Zardoz. Zord Zardoz. Zord Zardoz. And he is a flamboyant Luskan who has befriended many of the nobles around Waterdeep. Cool. And, yeah, he seems to be, he very much enjoys games of chance. He loves having big, high-stakes three-dragon ante games aboard his ship.

But it is invitation only. Cool. There is also a rumor that he has been seeing a lady, a noble woman who lives in the North Ward district called Yala Gralhund. They've been having a bit of a

thing on the side that her husband doesn't know about. But everyone else does. Yes. And she is having in fact, I will give you some more information because you are Black Viper. Yes. And also for brevity's sake.

You know that Yala Grauhund is having a dinner party this evening of which Zord Zardoz is a guest. What is happening with these? Oh. Zord Zardoz. And Yala, sorry. Yala Grauhund. Yala Grauhund and Zord Zardoz and Yala sorry Yala Grauhand Yala Grauhand and Zord Zardoz

this module has some of the most ridiculous names okay do you remember Floon Blagmar yeah that was a real one

that is from this module oh man yep I thought Bertie was a good name Floon Blagmar I quite like Rhyme and Flow

yeah Rhyme that was that was that was all Mark Hewn. Oh, was that? That whole hostage thing in the beginning, yeah, that was this guy. Thanks, Kim. Why are we genuinely like this?

Your check's in the mail. Can I have my inspiration now? No, because you have a pool of dice to use. A pool? Right, so yeah, it's about midnight at this point. Many of you are exhausted and tired. The dinner party is tonight, as in you are now in the next day. You're at 12 a.m. that day.

So it's that night. Yes. Cool. Nice. So, what would you like to do? Are you going to share that information? This evening, yes. Cool. Okay. Nice. So, what would you like to do? Are you going to, like, share that information? I shall, yes. Okay.

And which one of us might? You should write word, Alan. I think Rhiannon's done a good enough job. I love Rhiannon's note-taking. It's like the most erratic, like, skull port draw skull. It's amazing. I'm just going to, like, sigh when sigh when you give all this information out here. Alright, and I'm going to hold up one gemstone and be like, oh I found this.

Whoa! Holy moly! Where did you find that? I found it on Dandelion's body. Dandelion. That's important. It's worth about, I think I said 100 gold each one? Yes. Yeah, judging by the size of it and the cut, it's worth about 100 gold. Damn.

That's very fine work. I reckon this could be traced. Does anyone know that? It looks like quite a nice cut. Yeah, I could trace it. Nup, nup, nup, nup! It's off. Hey, what if that's why the guys were chasing him? Or because they knew he had the Stone of Galore and everybody wants it.

You don't have the Stone of Galore? No. Does it look like the Stone of Galore? No. What does the Stone of Galore look like? Why would they chase him if they're after that and that's not the Stone of Galore? It might be a key. A what?

It might be like a trail. A trail? A trail. No, that's not a trail. No, but it might... It's pretty much a gem. It might be, you know, part of a trail. There might be one thing leads to another that leads to the stone.

Is that a map? Well, I'd like to know what you look like. You know, you're wearing some cup gems. I appreciate the compliment. I will have a look for you. Thank you. Yeah, you can give me an intelligence check again. So, you won't let me touch the gem and we're a team. But you let the stranger touch it Oh

So it's a natural one, but that is an 11 on those dice. That's 12 total I mean you you you love gemstones obviously they're great loot. This one's worth some money You have no idea where this comes from. It's a general Put them in a bag and then you sell them to people and that gives you money. Yeah. Or you take them out of stuff. That's as far as you know, unfortunately.

It's very nice. I would sell it for a high price, but unfortunately. I have no choice. A gem. A Huma gem. Are you kidding me? You've got 100 GP gem. Way.

Quite clear what we need to do, team. Huh? It's quite clear what we need to do Team Huh? It's quite clear what we need to do here Yeah We need to get into the casino Into the casino I've got a date

A date What we need to do is dress the goblin up like the wife Like the wife, yeah That's what I was thinking I'm thinking I'm the same way as you Goblin class Or We beat the shit out of this Zord guy And say we're gonna tell your wife Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I'm thinking I'm the same wavelength as you. Go to class. Or...

We beat the shit out of this Zord guy and say, we're gonna tell your wife... Or husband, I can't remember which... What? The husband of the wife. That we know about the cheating of the affair. The husband of the wife. And if you don't give us what we want... We're gonna tell everybody.

But how do we get to him? She said it was like an invitation only to get to him. We're gonna dress the goblin up like... It's an invitation only to get to the casino on the ship out at sea. The dinner party you don't know much about. The dinner party is a separate event. We should get one of us into the dinner party. But certainly getting to a dinner party in the city will probably be easier than getting aboard a ship out in the middle of the harbour, basically. You think? I don't trust my information just because I'm the Dungeon Master.

I could be completely lying. We gotta get into the casino. And to do that, we need to schmooze. With Zord. We need to what? Schmooze? Schmooze. Schmooze. Schmoozing. Right, okay.

And to do that, you've got the most feminine figure. I look at Black Viper. Yep. You've got the most feminine figure. I look at Black Viper. Yep, you've got the most feminine figure. At this point I'm just sniffing my armpits. Yeah! We need to dress you up. Well it's early morning, I would say you have enough time for a long rest and then to make any preparations in the city to try and go to- Are you going to try and go to the casino or are you trying to go to the dinner party?

My suggestion was the dinner party. He is rumoured to be attending the party this evening. Well, then it's also his ships. The ships aren't here, so he could also be there. This is really a... Where do you guys want to go? It's high risk, it's high reward. I like it.

Let's do it. Or the casino. Do the casino. I feel like you just keep saying something without actually knowing what you're talking about. We've got two choices. We can either go to the casino, which is invitation only,

but it's where this chip came from, and maybe these gems. I mean, one gem. I don't know. Yeah, and Zord runs the three ships. He runs the Seaman's Fair. Or we crash this dinner party where Zord Lord's going to be and threaten him about this. What's my voice doing? I don't know.

I'm Booth Pat, West Country, Orso, and Aussie. And Aussie. Even that's hard for me to switch between those two. Or we can go to Zord Lord and threaten him about his husband's wife or whatever. Well, how do we get into the casino without an invite? Or we can go to Zordlord and threaten him about his husband's wife or whatever. Well, how do we get into the casino without an invite? We need to get an invite, let's go to the dinner party. Well like I said, I've got a date with Mert to go to the casino. Don't know about you

guys though. We could infiltrate while you go on the date. We could, we could sneak in. I'm very sneaky. I'm very sneaky. Or we could go to the dinner. I like food. I love food as well.

Really? Yeah, food's pretty good. Whatever. It's up to you both. All of you. Not both. Hey, we could find this Zord guy and say that his husband,

wait, not his husband. I'm trying to figure out the family tree. His, the woman he's sleeping with, her husband, he sent us to him to threaten him. Oh, Bertie, you had an idea. I did. And it was beautiful.

I did it. Oh, you did it, mate. I did it. I did it. I did it. Is that good? I might have to rethink the whole plan. Rethink it because mine was good?

No. What? Because you're real dumb. He just got it perfectly though mate. What's wrong with that plan? That's a good one. Think about it. We go in threatening, saying that the husband of the wife of the person you're schmoozing with has sent us to threaten. This guy owns three boats.

He probably owns a whole security team. He's probably very wealthy. He's got a whole host of people that could kill us very quickly. Right. So we need to be careful is what I'm saying. Don't you see the casino you're talking about? So we dress the goblin up like a woman. Why don't we dress the goblin up like a woman. Why don't we dress the goblin up

as a high class citizen? Nice. We pretend to be her guards. So we go and My bodyguards. Pretend to be bodyguards. And then

maybe through that we can then infiltrate. We fake it. We fake it. Do we make it? Do we make it? Do we make it?

I would say the same thing. Yeah. Snake. Maybe. Snake mind. Snake mind. Snake minds. Maybe you guys could wear these turtlenecks and you're like my crew. Like, you know, you're my security firm.

The only issue is it does have our name emblazoned on the back. We wear them inside out. Holy shit. You're a genius. But I meant that would just be your security firm I'm just hiring you guys is with guns for hire In first it was a man's Can you? Can you hear me?

App-mams. App-mams. What I want to know is, at what point can I blow something up? If it all goes wrong, then you blow everybody up to conceal us. Perfect. Destroy all the evidence. Sounds like my kind of jam. So take a bomb just in case. But after that, we take the money first.

Don't blow up money. Money? There's going to be loads of money there. There's gonna be rich people. Yeah, we'll be pit pocketing as we go up. Oh, okay. I just wanted to get that clear. It's very clear. Okay, the money will survive.

Yes. So, where are you guys? I'm gonna get a room at the Yannick Portal. Because I need to know that. Just so you guys are aware how this game works, I actually need to know where you're going and what you're doing. What are we playing? We're talking. Okay, that's fine, that's fine. I'm gonna get a room at the Yawning Portal.

I'm gonna meet y'all in the morning. I'm gonna get my eight hours, I need eight hours, otherwise I'm real grouchy and you don't want to see me grouchy. Okay? I never thought I'd say this, but can you make sure you get me turtlenecks? I will absolutely make sure that's going to be the first priority. I'll meet y'all. Do you guys know where the embroider is?

No. Never needed such a service. You can give them an address. I'll give you the address. Corner of... I wrote it down on my palm. Dragon and fifth. Right there.

I'm just going to take New York euphemisms now. I don't know how to describe it. Dragon and fifth right there I'm just gonna take New York euphemisms now like I don't know how to describe it some fifth dragon and fifth dragon and fifth oh you'll see the big sign and I'll be outside with the turtlenecks you don't need to put it on your arm it's a sharpie as well it's not gonna move right I like the way you think Right If that's the plan Very snake like Did you fork your tongue too

Because I forked my tongue It's very defensive I've got individual control Of the size of my tongue You never know When you need to hold Something in your tongue That's one of the most

Disgusting things I've ever seen I'll see you all tomorrow. I need my eight hours. See you. Tomorrow we'll get pizza, okay? Goodnight! I'm off. You had a question, Kate? I was just going to co-wrestle. Do I need a tux? Or a dress?

What could that mean at the tailor's? We could buy one! Okay. Okay. Good night. Try some things on. Good night, Gromamba. You can have a room at the Yawning Portal. Thank you. We're not going to meet you.

It doesn't matter. How much does it cost? It would be quite expensive at the Yawning Portal. It would be like ten gold a night. Oh, that's fine. Good night, Black Viper. Good night, Birdie. Good night, Boomer.

Good night, Birdie. You've done me proud. Good night, Gromamba. Goodnight, Boomer. Goodnight, Birdie. You done me proud. Goodnight, Grundle. Oh, no. Hello, darkness. I forgot. Since Grundle's now dead and not resurrectionable, are you allowed to tell the audience what the spell was and all that? So if you had identified him,

I was going to have the special magic trait that he had was that you could shrink him down to the size of a tiny pony shy horse, like little Sebastian from Parks and Rec. That's right. You could have got him into places and used the command word to make him big again or make him small. Wait, so he's a tiny, tiny horse, not like I could hold him in my hand? No, like a little Sebastian, like a little shy horse. What do they call them? What's that tiny tiny horse not like I could hold him in my hand No no like a little Sebastian Like a little shy horse

What do they call them? What's that type of horse called? We killed little Sebastian I didn't kill little Sebastian There is What's the name for the tiny horse? Shetland pony Shetland pony

That's it yeah Wow I knew that We killed little Sebastian He killed little Sebastian I didn't kill him A thing did A thing That you don't even know

We need to avenge little Sebastian we do so you take a long rest you get your points back your spell slots all your resources

do we level up? no don't be expecting levelling up no you might get some levels you might get a couple of levels actually

but not yet it'll be in milestone based so my understanding is you meet at the Embroiders, at Taylor's Where Aquamumber presents you with I mean Black Viper could probably fit into

Fleur's turtleneck You don't need to get a new one commissioned So there is four Black turtlenecks which say Mamba's Mercenaries I swear I ordered It's fine, it's a long word I probably have to pay more for that.

How much was it? I think you already paid it. I already paid. So there are three black fantasy turtlenecks. Amazing. You can figure out how those look. Yeah. They work as a...

I guess wool. They're like wool turtlenecks. Really itchy. Does mine fit? Really itchy. Yeah. It's tight, though. No, Yeah, it's tight though. It's like really tight.

They made it the biggest size they could. I like to think that it's like tight on the chest and the arms but it fits. But then it's really like short on the belly. Like it pops off quite short. It's like my belly button. Yeah, your belly button kind of sticks out. It's a crop top. It's not quite a crop top, it's a bit lower than a crop top, but it's certainly not the whole length.

Thank you very much, Black Mamba! Hand wash, cold. Be careful with your detergents. Wait, what did I say? Could shrink. Real easy. Okay. And then, what else are you doing? And then, are you going to the casino or the dinner party?

Because I'm still not clear on that. We're going to the dinner party. You're going to the dinner party. You're going to the dinner party. Oh, I'm not going to the casino. That's fine. This is why I asked. And did you want to buy any more gear or did you want to buy anything?

Puma. Yo. Let's get you all snazzy. I'm looking pretty snazzy right now. I absolutely disagree. As I say that, there's already holes in my turtleneck. Like, it's a little bit frayed.

How did you... It's like one hole's been smouldered where you've been playing with something. It's like, you know, a punk wool jumper that's just been all frayed. I gave that to you literally a second ago. What? I live life on the edge. I looked at you the whole time

and now it's dirty somehow. I'm almost impressed. Anyway, we'll get you in a tuxedo. You can wear the turtleneck underneath. Okay. Just to make sure I know it's there. Don't you guys need to dress up as well? I mean, he hasn't got a shirt. We need to look like security.

Oh yeah. So we'll just turn these turtlenecks inside out. We already got shades. I'm ready. Nice. Let's do this. Perfect. Out of interest, I mean, you kind of look like you'd fit in pretty well with the rich guys. Thank you.

Because you're looking, like, clean. But also, everybody knows me because I'm the world famous detective at Kumamba. Who? Oh. I mean, I know you. Everybody knows me. Look. Where am I right now? In a shop.

Hey! In a tailor shop. Shutkeep! You know who I am? You're the fella that ordered them turtlenecks. Yep. See? Everybody knows me. Mambo number five or something.

Yes! Give in to our level. Sink down to where we are. I'm going to sink in when it's a random NPC and he's like, do you know who I am? Yeah, sure! I know who you are, you're the Mambo guy! Thank you.

Mambo Mambo! Mambo Jambo! That's enough. So, you're only saying so you can- Hop hop hop, Mambo Mambo! Can't let people see this. What? What?

No. You're sinking, you're sinking. It's like random things. Nice. I gotta go incognito. Alright, okay. Okay. What kind of tux do you want, Bima? Do you want like, tailcoat tux? Do you want like, modern, sleek tux? I don't fucking know, I'm a goblin!

Do you want a hat? I want it all. I want a white tux. Okay. A white tuxedo, yes, very good. Pulls out like a little rack in front of you, like a half-length size one. Oh my god, shopping montage. We're all so excited you come out. No!

No! Comes out in like a regency, like, tailcoats, cravat. Maybe like a kilt or something. Yeah. Huh? And then eventually, I imagine you come out in like a very sleek, like James Bond black bow tie but white suit trousers. Very kind of like, yeah, very James Bond.

Like, do you even have a surname? Like, the name's Boomer something Boomer or something? The name's Murr. Boo. Murr. There you go. Yes. So it's like, you know, and we get like the cut of like

little cufflinks but they're like little bombs like on the cufflinks it's like oh yeah it's a bomb under my hat so you've got like

a top hat and underneath there's like a very obvious like sticks of dynamite with a big alarm clock on it there's a fuse

sticking out the top of the top hat exactly no it's got a little flap that you can lift up to get to the fuse obviously

obviously sure I'm so happy right now great that sounds really expensive It's got a little flap they can lift to get to the fuse obviously obviously sure great really expensive 100 GP gem will cover this okay. What I pipe is gonna pay. I'll see you guys outside Nice this is awfully convenient. Thanks This is awfully convenient For you Thanks

Thanks mum Yeah But it's Obviously very Very You would fit in well With society Does not hide the fact

You're a goblin So We need to get you Some face paint What? Face paint Why? I've got a disguise kit

I believe Yes I do You can Change skin colour Sit down Sit quiet What? No Close your mouth quiet is not So now we get the makeup on time

Like you get dancing lights to be like very Really intense it's a voice a makeup vlog tutorial tutorial contouring everyone's like now we've got we've got to angle the features you've got to

blend it in I'm using Elminster's number five beautiful but yeah are we still in the embroidery

shop you can't I prefer this to be in the yawning portal like sat in a corner of the yawning portal. I sat in a corner of the yawning portal. All these crazy adventurers like werewolves

like half werewolf men like in the background and you know burly barbarians and wizards and you know bar fights going on and aqua members just like this really brings out your eyes. It's beautiful. Thank you. Can I roll for how well that went? Yeah, so it would be a roll.

This is going to be D20 plus your proficiency bonus plus... We haven't used much. I would say this is going to be Winston. It's got 6d6, by the way. Wow. He's rolled very well. 22. 29. 40. Wow. He's rolled very well. 22, 29, 40.

He's a genius. He's a prodigy. So this whole scene, what emerges from this, I mean, is unmistakable from a handsome, well-cut halfling man. Comes out, all of the goblin features, like the kind of slightly crooked nose, the kind of angled cheeks, have all been blended into being very handsome.

All the shading. It's all just illusions of paint. All the burn stars. They're all being covered. He's giving you a slight five o'clock shadow. So that slight edge of, oh, he's dangerous and rough, but still handsome.

Like a Ryan Reynolds. You know, like a tiny Ryan Reynolds. But the might is. Amazing. In the white suit. This could be Aquaman, but you think this may be your greatest achievement. Wow.

Just step back from the final brush and a single tear. Beautiful. I'm going to sign it. You sign it. On my ass. I'm going to put an AM. Where? On your butt.

Yeah. Oh, God, it's beautiful. If I do say so myself. I feel most peculiar. Yeah, you're going to have to put on a voice. I was putting on a voice. Yeah Yeah, you're gonna have to put on a voice. I was putting on a voice. Yeah, you're gonna have to put on a voice. This is my posh voice.

That's terrifying. You're gonna have to figure that one out. Okay, are we ready for the dinner party? Yeah, just let me know when Boomer gets here. Boomer's here. I am Boomer, Bertie. What? Didn't you just watch the three hours of me applying this makeup onto Boomer's here. I am Boomer, Bertie! What? Didn't you just watch the three hours of me applying this makeup onto Boomer?

You think I'd sit here for three hours watching that? I thought you were intently watching. I was so focused on my art. I mean my eyes might have been looking. That's Boomer! Oh, hey. No, where is she? He. Oh, hey. No, where is she? He. Where is Boomer getting mail? Where is he getting mail?

Well, Boomer has tasked you to protect this person. Okay. Oh, hey. Who are you again? My name is Murr. Mr. Murr. Mr. Murr. What's your first name?

Boo. Oh, hey, Boo. Well, okay. You've got Boo. Oh, hey, Boo. Well, okay. You've got to be safe with me, Boo. Now we need to find a way to get inside the dinner party. So what's your cover? I don't know. Fucking look at me.

I'm a monster. You're beautiful. You fit right in. Oh, my own mum wouldn't recognise me. We need to find a way into the... She's eaten people that are like you and your mum. Wow. If you crush the gem, maybe that'll get you in. What?

What gem? The other... You don't know about any other gems. We sold the gem to get the tux. Yeah. So you guys can make your way to the North Ward. Let's just try. Just give it a go.

All right. Fake it till we make it. The North Ward is full of crowds and carriages carting nobles to and fro. Busy. All the streets are completely busy. The Graalhund Estate is on the edge of a busy street and you can see that carriages are kind of around it all hours the whole the whole estate is surrounded by streets um it's got a 12 foot high stone wall around the entire estate um there is a front guard there's a front gate where two guards are currently stood um do i have my, I did have, yes I do.

I have a little map. Cool. So, I would say with Black Viper's obvious knowledge of all the rich houses in the area, you kind of vaguely recall the plans. And you can see a vague outline. So here is the main sort of gates leading in. There is a stable in the far corner over here

where the kind of horses and the carriages are kept. And then the estate itself is this large building. The ballroom where the dinner party is being held is on the second floor in this area, which is above this area over here. Yeah, you can see that there are also guards that patrol around the outside that are just kind of wandering around

the stone gate outside. But yeah, you can see that there are two on the door and there is a line of nobles being led in. However, it seems that nobles are only being allowed in the people, they're only allowing one or two people in at a time. Even with guards, it's normally, it's a one guard policy we're gonna have to sneak in oh that walls pretty high and you're pretty short I can jump we

jump that high I can jump that high that's not what Bertie is thinking I'm definitely not thinking that. There's a wall around this entire... Yes, you can see it. It's a 12-foot high wall. The buildings are obviously higher, so anywhere where there's buildings, the buildings stretch up. You're probably about boomer height, aren't you?

Yeah, Halflings is like, you're like three foot. You're tiny. I can scale up the roof. Keep a lookout if need be. I can watch your eyes. I have a rope. I really feel like I could do with someone's help here. I know that I am a wonderfully talented individual,

but I am slightly outside of my comfort zone here. Hobnobbing with the hobnobs. All you got to do is talk like a posh person. Like you? Exactly like me. Oh, my name is Equimambar. Yeah, I don't deserve to be one more. Yeah, that's offensive. Never say that again.

But you see what I mean, right? What am I supposed to be doing here? Am I threatening this guy? When do I get to blow him up? You don't get to blow him up. Keep the top hat under control. Hey, Mr. Moe, don't worry, I can do all the talking. Help me. Well, yeah, you, I can do all the talking. Help me. Well, yeah, you can take one person in with you.

The other two will have to find a way to infiltrate. Well, it seems like Black Viper can handle themselves getting in. And you're tall enough to potentially get in. Or tall enough to get someone in. Tall enough to get somebody in. I mean, you want in? Maybe you could vault me in. Say yes.

Do we have a long way to say yes? Vault you? Yeah. Yeah. Let's find the quietest side. Let's have a little scope of the perimeter. Come on, Ben. See where there's no guards.

Go on. Look for a window. Uh-huh. And you throw me up. Throw you up? Yeah. Right now? Not right now.

Not right now. Oh. We'll do, we'll do, we'll do. I'll do a recce. Yeah. Oh, okay. Just let me know, I'll Not right now. Not right now. Oh. We'll do, we'll do, we'll do. I'm doing a recce. Yeah. Oh, okay. Um, just let me know, I'll be right here. Okay.

Wait, am I coming with you? Probably not. Oh. You're not very stealthy. I mean, we could just go- oh no, oh. I'm gonna disappear before he finishes speaking. Just, oh shh. I'll go remember.

I'm gonna scope around stealthily. Okay. And find the quietest side. Okay, give me stealthy. Of the window. Because there are guards patrolling the walls. There are guards on the outside on the streets. They're kind of walking around the estate. Oh, that's not good for you. Good. Good to know.

Yeah. He's taking all of the dice! He's fucking with you. Yeah, he's fucking with you. How much dice did you pick up then? Yes. Put some back! I'm putting some back!

It's been a long time, Alina. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh, you're glad you put some of those dice back? 21 plus 6, 27. 27. Aquamamba! Close.

Close for you. You take in and you begin scouting around, looking up. There are definitely windows on the actual estate proper. So around on these outside walls here, there are windows. The easiest point would probably be between the stables and the actual main building. Because you notice that there is a door, a kitchen door. There's like this kind of area here. And it's also the point where if you wait for the guards to round this corner,

it takes them the longest time to get round. You'll have the biggest window. However, as you're doing that, the guards stop and have a chat on the very far corner, which you weren't expecting, and they glance your way. You have to quickly throw yourself and disguise self to kind of whoosh. Damn it.

Kind of whoosh in order to escape. There's a spell. Okay. Well, you don't have to, but then they'll see you. So is there anything else you'd like to do to try and distract them rather than spend the spell card? Is there anything around there? You're clearly like scoping the building out.

You're not like, you would be very obvious what you were doing. Can I use my mage hand? Actually no, that's just another spell. Can I use it to knock over something near them that's the opposite side? Yeah, you can like there's a carriage going past or like a fruit wagon and you could probably cause that to like something to fall off of that. Knock off the thing to make a sound. Yeah, so you quickly are like, and the mage hand reaches out this ghostly little hand

and goes, knocks some stuff over. They don't seem to notice the actual hand itself. Make it disappear quickly. The shopkeeper's like, starts thinking that the guards have done it. They explain that they didn't do it and they help him pick up the apples, which is enough time for you to back off

and not look suspicious anymore. Okay, I'm gonna edge back to the group. Aquamama! And as soon as I see them in range of 120 feet, I have to get all the way to them. I'm gonna ping to Bertie, message in his mind. Come to me, quickly. Where? Around the corner!

Oh, okay, um, and I'll head towards... Would there be any direction to that voice? Ah, no, there's no direction, it's just a whisper, it's like a whisper in your ear. Around the corner, come on! I suppose like, I mean, I guess like, we'll say even, left, right, odd. So it's your right ear, you hear this whisper. And I head that way. Okay. Is that the right way?

No, when you make a... roll a d20 for me, Chris Trott. I'll steal a mechanic from Stars Without Numbers. Ten. Ooh, Bertie starts walking in the wrong... and he goes, he turns right, which is in the right way, but then you say round the corner, and there's another alleyway that just goes off in a different part of the street, and Bertie just rounds that and starts going down that corner.

Yep. Black Viper, you watch this ridiculousness happen. Just like- You just see Bertie go, Okay! Out loud, talking to something. And just start walking in the wrong direction. You can see Aquaman be like, on the corner, like... B-Bertie! B-Bertie!

Huh? Bertie! Bertie. That way. Where? Birdie, that way. Oh! Oh there he is! Shh! Shh! Quickly! Throw me and then get back! Okay, I'll stumble up to him, grab him with my left hand.

Yep. Which left hand? The good left hand. The left hand. The left left hand, and launch him. Okay, that's going to be athletics. However, this is a difficult throw. Is it? Yeah, where you're trying to throw probably somebody that weighs, it's not, it's a heavy weight.

You're trying to pick it up and throw it with enough velocity to not just get over the the thing but get him like on top of the thing and not hurt him as well you're trying to throw him without i'm not trying to not hurt him okay sure i'll lower the difficulty then cool um he never throws me with care no i think i hurt you when i threw you as well i'll take 4d6 for this whoa um 10 10, 16, 17, 21, plus 9, 30. Okay, 30. You clear the fence. Whoa!

Just thrown up quite easily. Swiftly, smoothly fly up into the air. However, Bertie throws you with such force that you don't land on top of the wall. It's not an accurate throw. He just throws you with strength. You sail over it, and you begin to plummet about 12, 15 feet down. Okay. It's gonna take the fall.

Four points of damage. Four. Four points of damage as you kind of BOOM! Hit the ground, tuck into a little combat roll, You all good? You can't whisper, you can't message. He doesn't know that way. Yeah, okay, so you just... You're good.

You've been talking to me. Out of the wall. And you can't see him anymore. Oh, did you make it? This 12-foot-high wall is in your way. I believe message needs to line up sight. Within range. You can cast the spell through solid objects.

Okay. If you're familiar with the target, know it's beyond the barrier. Ah, there you go, okay. Fair enough. Pass again. Corrected. A little lighter next time! Bring the others! Oh, I don't actually know it, it's fine. Aqualumba is about here.

I did it! I got him in. Good job. Why is everyone not really talking? I got the guy in! I don't really know what the plan is to be honest. I'm sort of trying not to move very much so that I don't dirty this suit. Well am I going in next or are you going up the wall? I can scale the wall, that's fine. I can go up. Bam, that's cool.

Ah, looks like I'm stuck with you. What am I supposed to be doing here? Acting like everyone else. See the guys? Just copy what they do. Okay. And then we'll look out for Zorzado. If he makes an appearance, we'll pounce. And am I threatening him? No. You are covert.

You are a... You are a... What's the term for it? Inside man. Yes. Well done. Okay. You are the inside What's the term for it? Inside man. Yes. Well done. Okay. You are the inside man. I don't know how I knew that.

You need to signal us. Yes, you can signal us when you see Zardo. Okay. You find Zardo, yeah. Yeah. What's the signal? Blow something up. No, no, no, no, no.

Do you have a flare? Or something bright that's not going to blow up? Something that we... Oh, I do. Oh, hey, I've got some antitoxin, got a backpack, got a block of incense, got a book... Don't start. Okay. Got a grenade, a smoke grenade.

Yeah. Maybe the smoke. Got a lantern. Maybe the smoke. I've got a flare. You've got a flare? I've got some soap. A flare would be good.

That's a very nice party. Thank you. It is very good. It's lots of very useful stuff. Birdie, when we go in there, you're gonna have to zip this. Okay? No talking. Okay. Do I know what Zord Zardo looks like?

No. Okay. Cool. None of you know what he looks like. looks like? No. Okay, cool. None of you know what he looks like. He's new to the city. He's been keeping himself to himself on his ship. You just know the name. You just know his name, Zord Zardoz. Would you kind of know what a Luskan looks like?

They tend to be... Luskan you would know. Kind of think a bit Russian. So kind of like, slightly like, you know, grizzly beard. Kind of that short kind of croppy hair. You know, they've got like a very fierce look to them. Great big bushy beard. Yeah, but not like big, like kind of, you know, like, you know, solid beard. Not necessarily like big, thick like this, but like, you know, yeah, like a wrong Swanson moustache, but all over the face.

Not mine. What? You get what I mean. Yeah. It's just Kim. Yeah. I heard it on Ron Swanson. What's wrong with it? That's fine. I like a man who likes breakfast meat. He's a manly man.

He is. Obviously, you know. And a plaid shirt. Yeah, there you go. So, okay. So, Bertie, you're going to go with Boomer. So you're going to walk in through the front gate and get into this party by posing as a noble and guard. What are you doing to get in? Black Viper. Are you going to scale the wall?

I'm going to scale the wall. So you're going to climb up. Like a spider. Okay. Like a spider snake. Like a spider snake. Give me an athletics check. Cool.

Athletics check. And all of these. Now you're getting into it. I feel like we're going to this too. And all of these! Now you're getting into it. I feel like we're going to wreck Rhiannon's voice. All of these! Oh yeah! Yeah, no, she's not only in and over that wall, she's actually on the sun. She's stolen something on the way.

Yeah, just like grabbing a wallet. So, you can pull out a little grapple hook, attach to your hand crossbow. You attach it to your belt. Can I be humming while I'm doing it? Yeah, you can. You get to the top of the wall. You see that the guards are about to hit you. Lie flat.

You wait for the guards to pass on the inside. You then roll. The rope around your weight lets you kind of like, it kind of winds down, stops you from hitting the ground, Mission then roll, the rope around your weight lets you kind of like, abseil, like it kind of winds down, stops you from hitting the ground, Mission Impossible style. You then flip, back flip up, pull the rope free, coils back round, load it back in, and then you slip into the shadows next to Aquamanber.

Bye bye. Show off. Come on, you're wasting time. So you can, from the smell emanating from the room beside you, it leads into the kitchen. So you can see there's this large kitchen suite, which is being used to prepare all the food for the dinner party and things like that.

All we gotta do is wait for the other two to get in. Yeah. And then we'll meet up with them. Okay. Bertie and Boomer, you make your way, you join a very short queue, as most of the guests seem to have made their ways inside now. are a pred- the two guards stop you Good evening, sirs

How can I help you? I have been invited to this party What's your name sir? My name is Mr. Merl I'll just have to check the guest list Will only be a moment Steps aside You can see he pulls out like a small notebook He's flipping through it

Do you want to do anything? He flips through his notebook Looking for the name Sweat a little bit And there's two of them there Two guards How many other people are around? You are the name. Sweat a little bit. And there's two of them there. Two guards. How many other people are around?

You are the only ones, there is a busy street. Like the streets all around the manor are very, very crowded and busy. But there are only two guards directly by you right now. But if you do anything very obvious, it could very easily be spotted by the public. But it would take the time, probably take the public time to do anything or call guards or anything like that

But how much time you don't know and do you want to raise an alarm? No, I'm going to let them Okay, he reads this he comes back. I'm very sorry, sir. There doesn't appear to be a mr. Murr on the guest list. I am a guest of Zord Zord Zord Zord Z Zord... Mr. Zordzados. We met on his casino boat. I'm a last-minute addition. Give me a deception check.

That's a lot of dice. This is going to be a hard one to do, though. You're going to need those extra dice. 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, plus 6. Plus 6? Wow. 37. 37? It's 30 plus 6, right? 31 plus 6 right? 31 plus 6 I'll take 1 plus 6 Okay Yeah He kind of looks for a moment

He kind of glances He's like Just give me a moment sir I'll just need to confirm With the lady of the house One moment sir And there's two of them right? Yeah

I'm going to kind of Slip two gemstones One on each hand And be like For your trouble I don't want to be an inconvenience. He looks at this hundred gold gem.

Pockets it. Oh my good Mr. Murr, please let us let you inside. And you can see now he turns, he's like Lady Growlhund has been very particular with the security this time around. He touches the gate and there is a shimmer of magic as it unlocks. And then he opens it.

Please, you and your guard are welcome inside. Your bodyguard will be requested to remain downstairs during the party. But there is a room set aside for such folk. Of course. Thank you, Mr. Murr. Thank you very much. You have a lovely evening now, course. Thank you, Mr. Murr. Thank you very much. You have a lovely evening now, sir. Thank you, my dear boy.

Oh, yes, thank you. And then when they close the gate, you see him hurriedly whisper to the guy next to him. They look at the gemstone, they turn around, and then they just fucking book it. They just leave. They're like,

we're made. We're made, son. We can do it. They just leave. They're like, we're made! We're made, son! We can do it! We'll leave this city, this shit job. Wow. It's like you just handed somebody a couple of grand. You're like, there you go, son. It's for your trouble.

So yeah, they just fucking leave. And make their way off. Inside, once you step actually into the grounds, you can see that the grounds themselves and Aquamember and Black Viper, you're kind of waiting patiently in this kind of little nook behind the building. But Boomer and

Bertie, you see this. The grounds have, you can see that there are dogs, like patrol dogs that have been basically not chained up but they are currently just like sat in some positions they're playing with some sort of toy or something like that uh they don't seem to be active but they're definitely around there's three of them um kind of running around you're led by a serving attendant in a beautiful uniform

uh who leads you in uh opens the door and leads you into a great hall basically. It leads you into like a large hall. You can see that there are paintings of a very regal looking noble family, olive skin, dark hair, very regal looking clothing, the Graulhund and these paintings and portraits are all over the place. You can see that there is a staircase as you go in on your right that leads up Which would be this staircase here. This is the Grand Hall itself There is a fireplace that you can see that is currently roaring with with a fire and logs

And there are people beginning to mingle the Grand Hall. You can see that there are maybe two other guards One is a one is a tabaxi, a cat person, who is dressed in a very fine silk vest, large silk pantaloons with a sash and a pair of bejeweled daggers kind of tucked in behind them. And you can see that he is, he has

a large bowl of milk. Okay. He's just like sipping it. He has little whiskers covered in milk as he looks around. But he looks very serious. He's like... Judging. Judging, keeping an eye on things.

And the other guard is a dwarven woman who is wearing what probably was a dress, but big slits have been cut into the side of it so it's almost like just two flaps of fabric, one in front, one in back and this pair of incredibly muscled thighs

fit into a very sleek pair of stilettos, just kind of peeks out and you can see that the dress is plumped up, her chest heaved forward, braided hair falling around her behind a slim like bejeweled necklace and then in her hands is a fuck off hammer

and she's just kind of like looking around with these stilettos elegantly walking around Boomer's in love. Yeah and she just kind of like gives a nod Well we're looking over at you because you are currently in this incredible disguise Why don't you just roll a d20 and add your charisma. This isn't like a

test. I just want to see what kind of impression you would naturally make. And charisma? Yeah, your charisma bonus. Ten. Ten, okay. There is definitely a... As you step in and she kind of watches you and if you look her way there's a Like this

I'm definitely giving her a wink She just kind of like nods and grins But you are led to the stairs Where the party is being held But she definitely watches you Heading upstairs Thinking you to be some handsome halfling fella I am a handsome halfling fella

You're a disgusting goblin. Only some. And yeah, you are led upstairs. The party upstairs is a very typical noble soiree. There are servants with drinks and fine wine. Little pinkies out. Little canapes on silver platters being headed around. And there is lots of mingling and talking of business in the city.

And yeah, Boomer, you are left downstairs with the dwarf and the cat man. Bertie. Bertie. That's it Can I not try to go upstairs? You try but then the servants are like no no no sir You must wait down here. Oh, no the guys on the door said I can go up with him. Give me a deception check Wow natural one. That's ten with my deception, which is minus one, so nine. Nice. I think you must be confused, sir, and there are guards here as well. There's a couple of house guards kind of posted around. They're like, no, no, you have to stay here, you must be confused, sir. No, definitely not confused, you can go and talk to them. Bertie! Behave yourself. I'll bring some little canapes for you later.

Some what? Go mingle with the other folk. Oh, okay. Fine. Have fun with your canapes. I will. There is the guards kind of watch Bertie a little more closely. And yeah, you are led upstairs. But they did say I could.

I don't know if Tom is confused or if he's just playing this really well. I can't tell. He's playing it. The guys on the door said I could! Bertie! I'm gonna move on. Not to let us in! Do we hear Bertie? Yes, you do.

Go talk to her! You hear it like really muffled, like,. Go talk to her! You hear it really muffled. That's our cue. Let's go. Okay, you're going to sneak in. Let's go. Okay, so how are you doing this? Because the doorway in front of you leads into the kitchens.

You can smell the cooking and things being done in there. How are you doing? Welcome to Black Viper. It's a test. I don't know if it is actually the, um... I don't know if it is the kitchen. No? I need to check. I need to check on D&D Beyond, because I have the module here.

You said we were here? You are, no, you guys are in the... No, you were...no. Back in the...you are in the garden. You were here. You went over the wall. Ah, so that's the coach house. Oh, sorry! So, the building, the door, you can see right in front of you,

you can hear that there are several guards inside playing cards, and it appears to be some sort of barracks. You can peek through the keyhole, and it's a guard barracks. What about to the left here? To the left there, that is- that is the kitchens. I see.

So this is the kitchens, this is the guard barracks. Okay, and am I in the... And then you are the grand hall. You have gone upstairs, and you are now in here. You are led through this doorway into a large ballroom. The ballroom is extremely extravagant. At the far end, there a fireplace, lit, and the flame is green. You can see there's a green flame fire. There is a chandelier, two chandeliers. Above the fireplace is a mounted, huge, a dire elk's head. It's enormous, with these

huge curling antlers of which gold and silver charms have been dangled from. All of the tables and chairs have been kind of pushed to the edges and there is a small band playing in the corner, a little violin. Sorry. In the corner. And yeah, you are kind of left mingling with all these nobles who are all talking politics and business

and things like that. And then Bertie is down in the Grand Hall with the guards. So Aquamumber and Black Viper, you sneak into the kitchens. And you're just trying to keep a low profile, are you gonna try and like, make it look like you belong? Because you're obviously dressed like in leathers and a cloak and a mask. You are in a blue stripey suit, or are you in the turtleneck? Turtleneck's on top of that.

Turtleneck's on top of that, so it's like blue suit, turtleneck, and you've got this weird stick. That's a cane. Sure. It's an elegant golden cane. Yep. It's beautiful. It is. You're gonna act like you belong, just like a snake. I agree.

You ready? I'm ready. Let's go. I'll come up. I'm just gonna walk in. So you just walk into the kitchen. As you walk into the kitchens, you see that there is a half-orc with a very wrinkly face, swept back kind of brown hair, who is just shouting at the staff,

you fucking idiots! I ordered this 20 minutes ago! And he's just shouting and hollering. And you can see that the chefs are terrified of this guy because he is jacked. He has got these enormous arms, and when he slams the table down, it makes the whole thing shake.

He picks up a huge meat cleaver and starts just chopping like this meat in front of him. And that's when I said to Zord, oh, what the fuck are you doing in my kitchen? Please excuse us. We seem to have taken a wrong turn. Sorry.

And he's like, taken a wrong turn? Yeah. Gets two pieces of bread. How do you make a wrong turn? In the fucking kitchen! How dare you! I'm a guest of honor! Zord!

You do not treat a guest like that! I'm gonna poke him with a cane. Okay. As I'm speaking. Give me an intimidate check. Yeah. Uh. Uh. Give me an intimidate check. It's not good is it? 18.

18? Too bad. He looks at you. How dare you. You know who I'm a fucking guest of? He leans to you and says, you know who I'm a fucking guest of? Some sort of good fucking cooking, and I don't want people in my kitchen ruining it.

Well, you could easily- If you're a guest, go round the fucking room. Well, please escort me out. I got, we got confused. It's a compost on the ground, it's a very big waste. We got Gibber Prosecco. It's huge. Why the fuck are you wearing a mask?

I thought this was a- Is this a fucking costume party? That's what I thought it was. The invite not say a costume party. Okay. Mm. He's just like, right. He like points it, he's like,

you lot better have the second course done by the time I get back, or you're out! Right, follow me. You got any nibbles? Fucking nibbles upstairs. I don't do nibbles. And he leads you out, back out into the gardens, and then round the outside to lead you in. Appreciate it, thank you.

Yeah! I can't believe it's that accurate. Finally! Some fucking compliments. You kind of have to remove your mask, how embarrassing. Yeah, that's true. If you want to look like a fucking idiot, I suppose that's up to you. Right! And he marches up to the door, points to a servant,

Two of your fucking guests trying to come in my kitchen! Take them in there! And they're like, woo-woo. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Chef Gordon. Ramza! Gordon Ramza! We led to the main hall.

And you are led into the main hall where you see Bir- what is Birchie doing in the main hall? Who's here? So there is a couple of like generic looking guards in armour with like swords at their hips and things like that. And then you see the cat man who is... He's probably finished his milk at this point and he's wiping his... he's like... I mean, i don't know like wiping his mouth and looking around and you can hear a faint purring and he puts the bowl down uh and then this dwarven woman is now kind of like sat in an oversized chair she's got the hammer

with the head on the floor with a long like shaft of it pointing upwards and she's just sitting very elegantly kind of like on this chair looking around and then there's you in your turtleneck. Where am I expected to go? Stay here. Just stay here? Are there no more bodyguards here? I told you to stay here, didn't I? Oh, I thought they said there'd be more bodyguards down here as well.

There's two more bodyguards. Oh, I thought they were just random guards. The Paxi man and the Dwarven woman definitely look like experienced fighters. They look like experienced fighters. And then there's two general-looking guards. And then I'm just, like, cross-legged on the floor. Okay, so you're just, like,

boom, on the floor. Deactivate. Sure. And I'm just cross-legged on the floor in, like, the middle of the room. Okay. So it probably took Aquaman and Black Viper, by the time they thought they heard your signal,

and Chef Gordon escorted them in. It was, I think, maybe, like, ten minutes or something, just,per, by the time they thought they heard your signal and uh, Chef Gordon, escorted them in. It was something like 10 minutes or something, just like by the time he had finished shouting at you and then led you out. Um... Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, Murray. Hey! Oh, hey! Oh, are we being silent? Yeah. Oh, okay. Um...

It's, uh... It's respectful. Oh, sorry everyone Yes, you wouldn't want anyone to hear what you're saying This cat man is just watching you Where's our guest of honour? Huh? You mean Mr Murr? Yeah

Oh, he's upstairs Why aren't you with Mr Murr? They wouldn't let me in I kept telling them. The people in the door... Okay, okay. It's okay. People in the door.

This is playing quieter. Oh, the people in the door wouldn't let me in. You went up again. Did you hear that? Oh, sorry, okay. Did you hear it? The people in the door, they wouldn't let me in. Even though...

You got up again. Oh, okay. Did you hear that? They wouldn't let me in. Even though! You got it, you got it, you got it. Oh, okay. Did you all get it? They wouldn't let me upstairs. So you're all huddled together whispering. And the cat man is just huddled next to you. He's like leaning in. Excuse me?

Yes? We're having a private conversation here. Would you mind? Oh, really? I could not tell, because I could hear you from the other side of the room. He's got a problem with his volume. Clearly.

Hey, how come you're not up there? Oh, I'm one of the guards, my good friend. Do the people on the door say you could go up? Of course not. We're guards, my good man. We are meant to stay down here. Only the guests are allowed upstairs. Kajit is, uh... Tabaxi is not allowed upstairs.

Could you please point me to the bathroom? I need to wee. Suddenly, it is just, and he points to this little room over here. Thank you. I'm going to go to the toilet. If you don't see me for a while, it's because I've fallen in. Wink. We've fallen into the toilet? That sounds like a bad thing. It is more common than you might think. I'm only a halfling!

Alright, well yell if you get stuck! Tabaxi are always falling in toilets. I'm gonna go to the toilet. Okay. I'm gonna take my toilet neck off and disguise self. Okay. As someone with an incredible tuxedo. Okay.

Very similar. Okay. But with a slightly different face. Okay. You just can't stand it, can you? Yeah. I'm gonna... And then you emerge.

I'm gonna break the door. Okay. And wait until the Catman is not looking at the staircase. Okay. And try and get past. So you're gonna try and avoid him. So that's a stealth check. Which Aquamander should we do? 18.

So I didn't add any dice you look you glance he looks around and you step out he says that and then as you begin making your way swiftly

as the cat man look around you just ah I see that you've put on a different face yes

could you lead me upstairs? He just grins. I pray to have lost my way. He grins, and at this point, the dwarven woman is like, oh, for goodness sake, man, no. She looks over, and the guards have been kind of

not paying too much attention, and she just saunters over them, kind of like they bend down, and she kind of flirtatiously kind of leans in, showing off her ample bosom and whispers something. And they kind of are like, and they go off somewhere maybe to fetch drinks or something like that. And then she turns around and she's just like,

well, we all know that you're up to something. Even I could tell that you were wandering in there to change your appearance. Whatever do you mean? Whatever you are doing, considering that they have the presence of the illustrious Black Viper, I can only imagine that it is something quite interesting. Who?

The Tabaxiara Curious People. Just like, rubs his face. Because that's the only thing I can do on camera. Hey, who's your upstairs guy? I'm here with a certain individual who operates many businesses across the Sword Coast. Works with adventurers primarily. Does he not have a name?

He prefers to keep his name secret. Yeah. Ah, you're working for them, are you, Catman? Interesting. What about you? Who's your... Oh, I'm here with a friend of the Silverhand. Do all these people have names?

Again, they prefer to keep... I keep slipping between the fucking cat man. They prefer to keep them quiet, mainly. But, yes, a friend of Larry L. Silverhand, the open lord of Waterdeep. That's who I'm here for. And who are you all here for? I'm so interested.

They're here with me, who just came out the toilet. Oh, please, my good man. There's no need to insult our intelligence. We're not going to stop you in whatever you're up to. We're merely interested. Well, we have no qualms with whoever you're with. We're just trying to get into the casino.

Ah, so you're here to meet with Mr. Zord, Zardozord, I see. Yeah, we got some time. He prefers not to be named. I am quite... Sassy, but it doesn't really work. I am quite interested to see Mr. Zardoz himself. He has been making quite a name for himself in Waterdeep, but yet has not shown his face anywhere.

Quite curious. All we want to do is get inside the casino. We have no other business. Very well, then. I suppose off you go. I hope you enjoy your evening. Thanks for distracting the guards. That's no problem. I like teasing men like that. Foolish. You're quite distracting. Thank you. You're not.

Not at all. I should really up my game. You really should. I'm a bit washed up. There was a really handsome halfling fellow that passed by earlier. I wouldn't mind seeing him again, if you know what I mean. Yeah, you should really schmooze with him. He's a wonderful, wonderful person underneath. You've got to get to the heart of him, though.

Yeah, if you guys want to go upstairs, then I'm going to stop you. You go upstairs? Yeah. I'll meet up. I'll rendezvous.'m going to stop you. You go upstairs. Yeah. I'll meet up, I'll rendezvous. And we ex-nay on the Schnee Bay. The what? As you guys turn to start heading up the stairs, there is a strange noise.

You hear a thunderous kind of crack, an explosion of glass. Oh my god, another explosion. Well, this one is like a dull thud, like a kind of explosion, not like an enormous fireball. The doors leading into this grand hallway that you're currently stood in with these two other figures,

they are flung open. There is a bright flash of light that momentarily kind of blinds you for a second and coming in through the doors you see uh two men with large tall tower shields and hand crossbows over the top wearing all black and you can see the black symbol of the winged serpent on their hands and behind them comes a man with a larger crossbow over the top in the kind of strike force team we cut and we see boomer up in the main hall and as you've been kind of schmoozing and things like that you see uh emerging from a room is a woman beautiful woman dark skin olive hair kind of dark hair tied up with a very handsome looking half-orc bodyguard at her side wearing breastplate with a very handsome-looking half-orc bodyguard at her side, wearing breastplate with a huge greatsword on his back.

She introduces herself as Yala Growlhund and welcomes the party. This is why you guys were talking to the bodyguards. She welcomes, welcome, friends. Welcome to my evening. I hope you all enjoy it. I have some momentary business to deal with, and then we shall begin the festivities. We have a lovely band playing with us this evening. There will be a number of drinks and food available, too. Of course, we shall begin the festivities. We have a lovely band playing with us this evening. There will be a number

of drinks and food available too. And of course, we welcome wonderful conversation here. I will also bring out my small clockwork wonders to show you

as well in honour of the Festival of Wonder. And we have many more guests still to arrive. So please enjoy yourselves. And then she begins to merge off and you see her

move over to a side door which seems to lead a side door. which seems to lead... Yeah, a side door. I'm just checking on the thing. No, there's not a side door. She goes to go back out the way that you came in, sorry. As she reaches the door, do you try and go and speak to her, Boomer, or are you going to try and, like, commingle with other people?

I like to think that I... I'm stood in the middle of a room with a tray of canapes just eating them eating them but poshly like you know

trying not to get crumbs on everything and also regaining people with tails okay alright really bawdy tails

give me a just roll a d2 roll a d2 20 plus charisma cause oh no persuasion make this a persuasion check performance

no performance performance would be good actually Yeah, no, performance Am I allowed to add dice to this? Yeah, sure Yeah, use it all We've got five minutes Yeah, and anything we don't use Goes to Mark

Or the whole lot could go to Mark Next time anyway 19 Christ 20, 21 You have Lots Lots

You have this hall enraptured. And in fact, the woman kind of pauses to overhear. They're really bawdy. Yeah. Really bawdy. But they love that. They're like, oh, she's so cheeky. Oh, we love it.

And they're like listening in and oh. Like, it's almost like this forbidden thing. Like, oh, you're saying all the things that they're normally not allowed to say. Who's this mysterious man? And there's many male and female eyes who are like oh look at this look at this little fellow uh and they seem infused by your bigger yeah my balls are itchy lots of this but they love it they're enchanted by it and as you have them got it you see the woman kind of glance over kind of curious, as if to maybe head over. When you see the fireplace, the giant, dire elk head kind of shakes for a moment as there's like a rumble.

And they're like, somebody comments like, Ooh, is there a storm coming? And then the ceiling above the ballroom, a perfect circle, there is like a crack of thunder and a crack. The big chunk of the ceiling falls down. You dive out of the way. Many of the nobles dash out of the way. And abseiling down from a small airship hot air balloon is a strike force of Zenturim agents in armor with crossbows and swords. And then landing atop this rubble pile

is the leader, a half-ogre with an enormous chain-fed crossbow cannon. What? Looms down and is like, Where is Yala Graalhund? Give us what we came here for. That's where we're going to end today's episode.

Jeez. Welcome to Rainbow Six Dragon Eyes. Oh my god. That's the big turn of the movie where a mini gun wielding giant arrives. Wow. Hey, me again. Thank you for watching

the third episode of A Rogue's Gambit and thanks again to Wizards of the Coast and Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms. realms remember you can play the game right now to assist us on an adventure there's links and more to everything you'll need in the description of this episode also if you're enjoying the game we have keys to gold chests that are only available for 24 hours so if you want to grab yourself some free stuff then tune into the stream mondays at 6 p.m uk time on twitch.tv forward slash dnd or twitch.tv forward slash highrollers dnd. And in case you're wondering,

Erois will be back on Monday. And this story will continue next Friday as we battle a big minigun wielding guy because apparently that's a thing now. We'll see you then.