High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: A Rogue's Gambit #5 | Bertie's Big Break

Episode Date: October 5, 2018

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Pickaxe. June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Hello, welcome back to High Rollers. Welcome back to A Rogue's Gambit, our 11 episode mini-series set in the brand new Dragon Heist module. This series is also sponsored by Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Remember, you can play Idle Champions right now to generate D6s that we're using to supplement our ability checks and saving throws. Today we're playing a special session following the events of the last episode, A magical Bertie one-shot in a prison deep under Waterdeep. Also, since there's no way for Aquamumba, Boomer or Black Viper to get into the prison, Kim, Chris and Rhiannon will pick a card from a wide selection that will determine who they're playing in this dangerous prison. So, will Bertie survive his holding cell and how will he escape?

Find out in today's episode of A Rogue's Gambit. To give you a little recap on what happened last time, the party snuck into Graalhund Villa, which is actually in the book, that's actually part of it, trying to track down a mysterious stone called the Stone of Galore, which the party have been tasked with retrieving to unlock the location of 500,000 gold coin treasure. Dragons. Within the gold dragons, they call them, in Waterdeep.

And it's hidden somewhere within the city. The party were playing agents for the Harpers, and the last time they tried to sneak into this villa to locate a person called Zardozord, who they feel may have some sort of connection, as well as his lover, the Lady Gralhund. However, during this infiltration, a number of Zhentarim agents stormed the building,

and the party had to fight them off. There was lots of jumping through windows, jumping across rooftops, exciting chases, jumping into walls and sliding down them. With their face. Breaking arms, wrestling with a robot over the stone and then just giving it away. Literally dropping it in his hands.

Yeah, it was amazing. I had some positives too. You did. You did. You were there. You snuck in. I did the M. Bison. You did a cool M. Bison move.

It was a very cool fight. It was just a huge... Some very cool fights. But ultimately, it ended with the party being split, with Bertie being played by Tom, the Goliath boxer rogue barbarian, being carted off to prison, jailed by the City Watch of Waterdeep,

whilst Boomer, an Acro member, managed to make an escape. Their mysterious allies the Black Viper and Fleur have not appeared or ran off in other cases. And today, we're actually doing a little special one-shot. I've called it Bertie's Big Break.

Bertie's Big Break. And it involves Bertie going to jail. And because it doesn't really make sense for Aquamember or Boomer or the Black Viper jail. Oh, I love it. And because it doesn't really make sense for Aquamumber or Boomer or the Black Viper to be there, I have created a bunch of random NPCs. I've created six of them, and you all are going to draw one at random to play.

Nice. They're randomised genders and races and roles within the jail. Most of them are prisoners, but there is also a guard. And so you will have a position of power if you pull the gun I'm gonna we'll do this we'll start with Rhiannon would you like to pick your NPC for the day I'll pick my NPC for the day let's grab this one reading Tom well I know I'm not reading I was just seeing how many there are there's a lot in the seats okay then Okay. And then Kim Richards. Take that nice easy top one.

And then Christian. Jesus Christ. Give me the others. I got the one I thought I'd get. Oh, do you know who they all are? Because I don't. We were just talking ideas yesterday. I've literally thrown a bunch of random stuff.

Oh, I see. Okay. I guess it makes sense for Bertie stuff. Oh, I see. Okay. I guess it makes sense for Bertie not to know any of them. Okay, yeah. All right. Cool. Are you all right with that, Rhiannon?

Yeah, we're good. You sure? Yeah. If you want to swap... I'm good. Are you going to stick with that one? I'm going to stick with mine. Okay. So, let's start.

We'll set the scene. We'll set the scene. Bertie, we'll set the scene. You are dragged off in this prison wagon, this carriage, barred carriage under heavy guard, and you are taken through the streets of Waterdeep, and eventually you are led to kind of like a subway, it almost looks like a subway entrance,

like a slow ramp that leads down beneath the city itself. Okay. The lights go dark. You can just see the faint glow of lanterns kind of illuminating the way ahead of you, but it's completely pitch black, and you are led deep, deep beneath the city of Waterdeep. You must travel for quite some time.

Deep. Deep and dark. And eventually, your eyes adjust to the darkness, and you see that you approach a dimly lit, kind of like a fortress entrance carved beneath it into the ground itself okay uh stone big stone kind of pillars hold up this big entry impressive entryway this big iron bound door uh there are hundreds or like you know lots of these water deep city guards manning this prison um And you see a statue of a dragon coiled around this entrance itself.

Oh, subtle. And you hear the guard kind of like bangs on the carriage. He's like, all right, you lot. Welcome to Scalebreaker Prison. Scalebreaker. Is there a lot of us in here? So there's like two or three of you. But you get the sense that so in amongst the group with you there are um there's just like a couple of looking rough looking thugs

these look like dangerous men right they look like you know these aren't your common kind of street thugs these look like proper bruises and enforcers okay um and i'm just a huge you're just like this whole thing going they're kind of looking at you but they're not that intimidated like they they're you know they kind of take you with an appraising look. I probably look relatively innocent. Like, I'm huge, but I'm still, like, kind of wide-eyed, kind of miserable. Yeah, they're kind of, like, looking at you up. But they can see that you're obviously, you know, a muscly boy.

I'm a big, big muscly boy. Are you scared at all because you've broken the law? I think, I don't know. I don't think he'd understand the concept of law. Yeah. But at the same time... He knows that he's been taken somewhere he doesn't want to go. I think he's aware that he doesn't necessarily belong here.

And I think he's more annoyed that he's been taken away from the three people that he actually was in the city with. Without the three that he was with, he's lost. Or four, sorry. And your bro, Boomer. Oh, yeah, you're one of the four. My main... Your main posse. Boomer sorry. And your bro, Boomer. Oh yeah, you're one of the four. My main... Boomer bro. Okay.

So you're pulled in and the carriage is led into a line of carriages. There's several of them and you can see that prisoners are all being led out of them. You're manacled. Your hands are manacled in front of you and so are your legs. And they're attached by a chain and you're kind of chain gang to these other two criminals. And you are led in.

The fortress itself, the prison, is illuminated by continually glowing magical orbs. And as you step in, you can see some of the prisoners being led in have these thick, rune-encrusted collars, like solid metal collars around their necks, with these runes that seem to somewhat glow. A robed-looking fellow kind of walks up to you, grey, long beard, long, curly eyebrows. He waves his hand, some sort of incantation, like, This one has no magic. Let him pass without a collar.

A new guy that had magic, though. Quiet, prisoner, quiet. Just throw him along. And as you're passed in, You're led into this long stone corridor And then you're taken off onto a short thing And you notice that this place It doesn't feel like a prison It doesn't look like it's been built as a prison

It looks like it's been turned into a prison It looks quite old There are bizarre statues of monsters You can see there is one corridor Which has been kind of of blocked off because it's full of spears, like stone spears that have jutted out of the walls and have been locked into place.

And that's kind of been blocked off with wooden barricades and you're led down a different corridor. You're led into a large room where you can see there's about four armed men with crossbows, four more with truncheons, and you are led in.

Your manacles are undone, and there is a kind of plain grey prison jumpsuit left out, and one of the guards is like, all right now, come on, strip off your clothing, pull your gear in the box. All of it? Yep. Well, I mean, I can't take this off the fist.

That has to stay. They look at that, and they're like... One of them comes up, and he tries to pull this off the fist. That has to stay. They look at that and they're like... One of them comes up and he tries to pull it off your hand. Ow, ow! He's got it wedged on there or something. It was burned on. Mmm. And they're like, okay.

They go... They probably find a load of big, slick cloth. Wrap it around your metal fist. And then tape it up or something like that. It's like when I was punching stuff for the boxing. And they turn over and you can see that watching from above, like this little balcony overlooking it, is this figure

who appears to be, he's got like the features of a dragon, like these long curved horns, a tail, red skin, fanged jaws, draconic eyes, and he's wearing this impressive suit of plate man. He looks down, his big gauntleted hand. He looks down, he's like, it'll have to do, get him inside. Eventually all your gear is taken from you, you're given this jumpsuit to change into, and then you're led into a large open area. It looks to be some sort of like rec room

where there are a bunch of like tables, stone tables all positioned around. There is a rudimentary kitchen at the back where you can see that there are a few figures kind of ladling or like cooking some sort of big porridge. And there's a few other prisoners scattered around. Up on the balcony, there are cells all around. And it appears to me that adjoining this,

there is a room which has been filled with mining equipment and seems to lead off into some sort of subterranean cavern. And yeah, once you are put into general population, you are shown to a cell. Now, I saw yours, I think, but you two, you're both prisoners, I believe. Yes. Okay, so you are led to a cell where there are two figures already inside.

Okay. And, yeah, do you guys want to... You can make up the description. I've just given you the raw stats. You can describe what you look like, come up with what Bertie sees when he enters. Do you want to go? I guess I'm probably quite a rough looking human woman. Okay. Really big kind of shaggy hair. Like I look like a quite dirty, like I've been in here for ages. My clothes

are a bit raggedy and a bit like torn and a bit gross and really dark green eyes, like really, really piercing eyes. And I'm just kind of like sat in the corner, kind of like a bit hunched and a bit sort of like wary, just kind of looking and like... You're not like rocking back and forth? No, I'm just like... Okay, and... What is that noise?

I'm sat in the middle of the cell on a tiny stool that's far too small for my square like body I'm a human male, bold but there's some scarring, like deep scarring that's been healed over for years on my face one of them's cut across the eye, really jagged

and it's lost the eye but the other one's fully functioning too soon also it looks like this arm's broken. So wait. But it's been... Are you a Goliath? No, human.

Human. Just really stocky. Square-like. I'm wearing my jumpsuit so that you can see a tuft of like slightly salt and pepper. It's like poking out. Okay. I'm quite tanned and I'm rubbing a shoe intensely. And all you see is a glint from the working eye.

Okay, I guess I just walk in like, hey, and I'm waving this pillow, I guess. So you see this giant Goliath with, yeah, one arm wrapped up like a giant pillow. So you two all know each other, so by all one arm wrapped up like a giant pillow. So you two will know each other, so by all means you can share a little bit. If either of you have any magical abilities, because I can't remember who has what, you will have a large collar

which bounds it, which means you can't use any magic whilst you have the collar on. Does that mean I can't? Your stuff, I think, like, it depends. If you've been keeping it secret, then they probably don't know. Okay. That's so weird. And it's not long, so Bertie, yeah, what do you say? You enter the room. A guard kind of puts you in.

He looks over, and I just need to remember what your name is. He looks over at you, Trot, your character, this guard, and he looks like a generic guard and he's just like, Vorgin will be around for his shoe in a bit. Make sure it's finished. Left or right? Right. I hate his right shoe. Fair enough. Right. And he buggers off.

And he's like, meet your new sailmate, and he shoves the Goliath in. Oh, look, Skeever. He's got a nice back. A nice back? Yeah. You wanna see it? Turn around and give us a little pin-a-like. Okey dokey. Hey, you're the guys that...

He's bigger than me. What's that noise? He's nice, nice, nice he is. Yeah. Not bad. What? Look at, let's have a look at your feet. Hey, my feet. Oh hey, here they go.

Bring it to this side, this side. Sorry, I'll stand that way. Hey, are you the guys that I tell my story to? I didn't do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, nobody's done it in here. No one, no one. There's nothing wrong in here. Show us your shoes.

What, my shoes? I haven't got my shoes. Show us your fucking shoes. I haven't got my shoes. Show us your shoes. They took my shoes. You were given a pair of shoes. Okay, I thought they took them.

Okay. They did, but then they gave you more. Maybe you're just carrying them. You forgot to have them on. Yeah. I'll just like, yeah, just spill all of the stuff that was in my hands, I suppose. What would that be? Am I naked right now?

No, you've got like a grey jumpsuit, which you could be carrying. You could be naked. You've got a grey jumpsuit and a pair of shoes on it. You're like a prison movie. You're carrying your need for it. Yeah, I guess I'd just just spill that onto the floor like, hey, there you go. And you've probably got a bar of soap.

So you can write this down if you want. You've got prison jumpsuit. Oh, hey, I keep that. Pair of shoes. I already had a bar of soap. Oh, they took that, but they've given you a prison one. No! It's a prison standard bar of soap.

Oh, it's dragon branded. It's downgraded. Some sort of like brush. Does any of it drop near the edge of the cell? Yeah, like his probably his soap would be like I'm immediately

going to scurry over and just like just grab whatever's near me. So she grabs your soap and you don't have a soap anymore. Slow down.

Bar of soap, brush and I guess just like You don't have a soap now. You don't have a soap. A pillow. You have one pillow.

Oh yeah, now I've got two pillows. Yeah. Cool. That's it. And then just I've got two pillows. Yeah. Cool. That's it. And then just general clothes, prison clothes. Yeah. And you just spill it all over the floor.

I just spill that on the floor. Yeah, you can have that. I've got another one, I think. I start chewing on it. Eats the soap. Is that food? It tastes good. Can I have some?

No. Oh. Your fresh meat, fresh, fresh meat. No, I don't taste good. Trust me, I tried. When the fist was like put on, oh, you can't see it right now, it's a pillow, and I bonked myself in the head a couple of times.

Yeah, that really smelled like... Weird one, this one, Filgus. Pretty good. Filgus, hey. Filgus. Pretty good. Filgus! Hey. Filgus. Filgus. You can call me the shoe.

The shoe. Yeah, that's what I'm known by. Shoe shoe. Talking of shoes. Yeah, that's mine. Yours on the floor. Oh, you've been given an old badge, sunshine. I just start tearing them.

Got some holes in it. I mean, it didn't... It's going to cost you a lot to repair that. What? There's only one cobbler that can repair it. I mean, I don't think I've got any money on me. You're going to have to do some work, if you know what I mean. I'm already doing a job at the moment. No, you're not.

To get, like, I don't know, I think it was like 200 gold. Your old life's dead. So there is a rattling, like a sound of a club being kind of knocked against the bars, and a guard appears. Rhi, what do you look like? I'm like a grey-skinned orc. A massive grey-skinned orc guard.

I'm huge. I've got big old teeth poking out. Big yellow eyes. Massive brute. Fully armoured, truncheon, comes by. And for Filigus and Sceva, this is Vorgin... What is it?

Calidus. Vorgin Calidus. This is one of the senior guards. Mr Calidus, it's an honour, as always. You've come for your shoe, because the only cobbler... He's the best cobbler in the whole prison. If you need your shoes cleaned, your shoes shined, he's the best cobbler in the whole prison. If you need your shoes cleaned, your shoes shined, he's the man to go.

The shoe is the one. All right, you piece of shit, that was my shoe, look at that. All right, Mr. Calidus, just right over here on the premium podium for you. Here we go. I'll put you right to the here on the premium podium for you. Here we go. I'll put you right to the front of the queue as always. Do you not believe what you just said there? Did that just come from a dark place? I shouldn't have worn eyeliner today.

There you go. Thank you so much. I expect it over. I need a lot of work, so... I can imagine. It's behind a bit, but that's okay. I've got a couple of new ones coming. Yeah, Vorgen, I'd say this is a prisoner. You knew that there were some new prisoners coming in,

but you've not seen this Goliath before. He's fresh. Hey. Hi. Okay. Hey. Don't try anything funny with me, boy. I can see right through.

Like a joke, or...? No. Excuse me, sir. It seems like on first inspection, he's about as hollow up here as he is in there. My point is, hollow hand. It's not... It's something there.

I see. You play nice with the new boys, okay? Well, I mean, he destroyed my shoe. Oh, they fell. He dropped them. It's his job. It's his job to mend your shoes. But no, he broke them. No, he's a good businessman. Look at what he's done here.

I appreciate it. It's a fantastic job. Did he break your shoe? No. Oh. I'm going to find my good business about. You're a lying piece of shit. I'm not a lying piece.

Hey, I don't think... You're a lying piece of shit. Don't play games with me, boy. I'm not front of a good business. You're a lying piece of shit. I'm not a lying piece. Hey, I don't think... You're a lying piece of shit. Don't play games with me, boy. I'm not playing games with you. I'm just saying... Hey, are you the guy I speak to to say, like, hey, I didn't do it. I don't belong here.

No. Who is? Is that one? No one. You're a scumbag. You belong here. Oh, okay. There's a reason you're here.

Scumbag. I mean, there probably is. You're a piece of shit. You're more bad There's a reason you're here. Scumbag. I mean, there probably is. You're a piece of shit. You're not better than your shoes. Piece of shit, piece of shit. This episode should be called Bullying Party. I mean, I'm not a piece of... I'm not a piece of...

I'm okay. Not without good shoes. Well, I don't think I need them, to be honest. What? I don't think I need them. You don't need good shoes. Well, I just don't think I could do without don't need good shoes I could do without so after you stop by

there is a heart whistle and this signifies that there is going to be a rotation of the workforce in prisons some of you get assigned to working different jobs I'm going to leave it to you guys to pick you can either be on the mine duty, you can

be on kitchen duty or cleaning duty. Which do you think you'd be up for? Not the mines. I'd be up for mines, but I need to teach Bertie a lesson. Would he not be exempt? Huh? What was your name? Well, maybe, but we'll figure that out. We'll find out what you're scheduled to be. I see. And then

maybe you can convince Vorgin to give you an exemption. It was a shoe, sorry. Okay. So which one? Which one do you want to pick? So we've got mine. What do you want to pick? We'll do a vote. Mine. Kitchen. It's up to you, Bertie. I have a choice.

Yeah, well, this is not in-character choice. I'm going to put this down to Tom Hazel. Tom Hazel gets a choice. I mean, I'd like the idea if he was assigned to the kitchen okay

alright so kitchens so you are down to work the kitchens your cell is down to work the kitchens and I'm gonna we're gonna lay out some facts about the prison

for you guys to know for Rhiannon to know obviously you would know this first thing to know Rhiannon you're a guard yes I want you to know

you can do whatever you want You can make up whatever rules you can make them do anything This is it you have a hundred percent power if you want to you know Bring in and if you want to introduce a new purse cellmate to them if you want to you know Snitch on them or you can do whatever you want. Like you are in power right now You know, snitch on them, or you can do whatever you want. Like, you are in power right now. But please keep me alive.

For the rest of you, if Guard Vorgin has an unfortunate accident, then obviously Rhiannon will have to play somebody else. Oh, no. And so not have the power anymore. You seem to trip there, Guard. I'm the F1 shoe on currently. So there's another thing. Go on. Question.

Can I make a roll to rig the shoe in what way uh like with a bomb like that a little wheel how are you gonna rig it yeah like tell me how are you gonna rig it okay there's a tiny metal blade right which cuts a main artery in the leg a mate specifically a artery. Like the Achilles heel or something. Yeah. So I just put it on, I immediately just I didn't notice this as I was pulling it on. You can certainly try. Sure.

Make, so this will be, you'll add, it'll be a D20 plus intelligence plus your proficiency bonus, which will be two. You haven't actually put, Oh, okay, I see. Ten, twelve. Twelve. It's a shame you didn't use any of those Idle Champions dice, which are there to be used. Oh, yeah!

Okay. So many. Well, we'll figure out if Guard Vorgin discovers that before he puts the shoe on. But before then, there's some more information about the prison I'm going to give you. So you are currently imprisoned in Scalebaker Prison. If you've watched any Marvel stuff, you know the raft. The latest great game, Spider-Man, they talk about it. It's kind of like the Supermax prison, right?

Where they put the worst of the worst. Scalebaker Prison is Waterdeep's equivalent of that. They just threw me in there. Yeah, you're a big scary guy. Look at you. You were caught assaulting somebody and breaking out of a noble's villa. I suppose. But yeah, this is where they put mad wizards, evil cultists, murderers, assassins.

This is the worst of the worst. Very naughty boys. Very naughty boy. There are four main areas, but the prisoners, you only have access to three of them. You've got the cells, which is four bunks apiece. They're all scattered around. We're not going to have a map, but just kind of envision a kind of basic prison, right? The rec area, it's a large open area with tables,

and it's where the kitchens are connected to, where they have your dinner. And then you have the work area, which is a mine, which is built into the prison that you work in, and they're all funded, helps raise money for the city. One of the things, the legend about Scalebaker Prison, is this is actually part of a legendary dungeon complex called Undermountain, which is very famous in Waterdeep. It's huge, it's sprawling, it's all built underneath the thing,

and they discovered this dungeon, cleared it out, sealed it off, and turned it into a Supermax prison. So there are always rumours, and you guys as the prisoners would know this, there are always talks about, like, if we can just find a way to tunnel into the other parts of Undermountain, we can escape, or we might find treasure or weapons or anything like that. So there's always, like, this, ooh, maybe we could get our way out if we can find a way into Undermountain, we can escape. Or we might find treasure or weapons or anything like that. So there's always like this, ooh, maybe we could get our way out if we can find a way into Undermountain. Yeah. Also, access for the guard.

You have access to the processing and administration area. So this is where you sleep. It's completely safe. You can go there if you're worried about being killed. You can be like, I'm going to go to the processing area and none of the prisoners can get to you unless they can find a way to do that. There's also where the warden's office are. The warden is a half-dragon called Iron Fang. He is a legendary champion who has slain giants.

He is incredibly powerful and if he was ever called into the prison, he would be able to defeat any prisoner without question. So if you are ever in a thing where you're worried, you can call the warden in. But you know that if you anger the warden, you might get fired or you could become a prisoner yourself. So you want to use that sparingly. Kill Bertie. There's about 40 or 50 inmates. Bertie dies. Bertie dies. I'm going to roll the thing.

There are three gangs within the the thing There are three gangs Within the prison Right There are three gangs That operate within this prison There's the Skulls of Sirik Who are death obsessed freaks That paint their faces like skulls

And they all worship The god of undeath Sirik And they're kind of like They've got the real Kind of like ASA Like they've got the skull Kind of face

There's the Wild Eyes Which is a monster gang. It's all like the Hobgoblins, Goblins, any kind of monstrous race, Kobolds, Bollywugs, all of this kind of stuff. They're all within the Wild Eyes. And then

the Hardlocks, which is a Mafia-esque family, which is just hardened criminals. These are like your classic crims, right? The leaders of these groups, you've got the Skulls of Sirik are led by a female priestess called Anastasia Vako.

She is responsible for over 24 ritual murders, undead summoning, blasphemy, and theft. The Wild Eyes are led by a grung called Leap, who is guilty of theft, murder, and theft. The Wild Eyes are led by a grung called Leap, who is guilty of theft, murder and numerous... Yep, he's a grung, which is a tiny frog man.

Tiny little orange frog. He's guilty of theft, murder and numerous accounts of assault and public disturbance. Like the Prince Guy in The Simpsons. And then the Hardlocks are led by Coldfingers McGile, who is a halfling who is rumoured to have made a deal with a powerful archdevil. He's guilty of extortion, murder, assault, money laundering, tax evasion and similar crimes. Oh my god. So he is the godfather.

Hey, Coldfingers! Leap's crime again? Leap, he's done theft, murder and numerous accounts of assault and public disturbance. Aww. Basically stuff like that, yeah. And he's called Leap, and he's an orange grunt. He's rumoured to be quite dangerous.

And do anyone have, like, distinguishing marks that people would know, like, they remember? These three, oh yeah, if you remember, you would probably have a prison tattoo. If you remember the skulls of Sirik, they almost always have, like have some sort of skull motif on their face.

The hardlocks have a tattoo, which is of two cross keys and a padlock. And then the wild eyes are all the monsters. So if they're a monster, chances are they're probably a member of the wild eyes.

And these, and for you, God, that's always a worry because the gangs, you kind of, the warden doesn't mind if prisoners die. Obviously,

the main thing is to try and provide the basics for them, make sure they don't mind if, like, prisoners die. Obviously, the main thing is to try and, you know, you provide the basics for them, make sure they don't break out, keep them in line. Obviously, if they kill each other, you've got to punish the ones that did it, but at the same time, they're all scum, so it doesn't really matter. So, and again, you have the ultimate power. If you want to be corrupt, you want to take bribes, that's totally fine. We'll see if the warden finds out, though.

So that's your main threat. So you if the warden finds out though. So that's your your main threat So you guys are kind of against the guards guard You've kind of got this constant threat of the warden finding out what you're up to and also being shanked And I just wanna survive And shanking is a thing and you you're got buddy. Your goal is survive If you want to try and escape you can try and escape I mean, I don't know. I don't think he's gonna be a major player in far as you know... I don't think he's going to be a major player in plan making. No.

I think he's just going to be a tool... If somebody says, I have a plan, yeah. Okay. So there we go. So, and this is going to be very open. I'm now going to pass this to you. Now that you have the information, if you have a question, ask it. What sort of gang relations, like, if people are in opposing...

Oh, bad. Real bad. The gangs hate each other. Okay. So, and that can be useful if you want to try and play the gangs against each other. If you feel like we need protection, you can join a gang. It's up to you. Mr. Caledon, we have a great situation going on here right now.

I gave you a lovely shoe. Now, if you wouldn't mind, you'll notice on the back of this sole, the little studs that I've used to put the sole of the shoe on. Okay, I see. With the utensils I have in my cell, I couldn't do the best job possible, so, you know, an upgraded hammer or some kind would really do a good job on your next shoe, if you know what I mean. I'll see. I'll give it a day.

I'll wear it in for a day or two. I'll see how it feels. And if I like it, I'll come back to you. Or maybe I'll make it worth your while. Yeah. Well, a sledgehammer will get it done in one hit. A sledgehammer might be a bit too... A bit rash.

Yeah, a bit rash. A bit unnecessary. Right. Yeah. What about a chisel? Chisel, chisel. Too small. Yeah. I'll see Chisel, chisel. Too small. Yeah.

I'll see if you've got any little tinkerers hammers in the kitchen. I appreciate your work. I want to hit it as hard as rock, you know what I mean? I know, yeah.

I can understand. I want to hit the shoe like I want to cave a tunnel or something. I like your work ethic. Yes, yes. It's very good. I appreciate that.

I'm very, you know, I love cobbling. Really hard working. Hey, if you need something to hit something hard, I've got this thing. Can I get the thing off it? No. No?

No. No? No. Oh, you would do a good number on your shoes, though. Yeah, I just, boom, and I'll be in. No. You'll have my morning star to talk to if you take that off. Your what?

Oh, yeah. You wouldn't like that. It's this big spike club hanging by Morgan's side. Like this big board with bloody kind of spikes. Is that what you call that thing? Yes. Hee hee, spikes to the face. She likes that. It's how I keep people like you in line.

Well, I mean, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just... Oh, you've done a lot wrong to be in here, sunshine. No, I mean, I've probably done very little. I mean, like, someone broke my leg. Always run in your mouth, you piece of shit. Always run in your mouth. You're going to be trouble, I know. You've just got

it and you've already taken my rage levels up to here. I am ready. Mr. Carradus has got a very short fuse. Right, I mean, okay. Look, I just... Okay. And very fine boots too, I want to say. Very fine. Finest in prison. Finest in prison fine Finest in prison Finest in prison Finest in prison

I mean they're better than mine You broke mine They dropped Well it is time for work You have to Your whistle's gone Do you want to try and get out of it Or are you just going to go

Work in the kitchens For the afternoon I'm alright in the kitchens I love working in the kitchens Okay I'm going to make it hell for Bertie For some reason I've been assigned the It's the Okay. I'm going to make it hell for Bertie. For some reason I've been assigned the...

It's the cell. The cell is assigned to a work job. This is your cell. So you are a job. Alright, so Mr. Vorgin, you attend to your duties which will be overseeing lunch. You will be in the cafeteria making sure that nobody's up to any

funny business. But you guys are led by some other guards down into the kind of wreck area. There's a big kitchen and you were brought and the head of the kitchen is a very, very battered, bruised, broken horned tiefling who kind of like looks at you with one lazy eye.

The other one is kind of a bit like bruised and you can see he's got some missing teeth. He looks at you and he's like, Here's the kitchen to you. Old Sneagles is going to put you to work. Well, we've got a fresh recruit. He's a big lad, isn't he?

He's an eager worker. Eager? What do you want me to do? You ever cooked before, boy? No. All right. Have you peeled a spud?

A what? A potato. A what? No. All right. Can you carry things? Yeah. Great.

That's what you're going to be doing. Oh, cool. You're going to be doing. Oh, cool! You're going to be carrying plates and dirty dishes. With just one hand? Yep. Because, I mean, I've got this thing on. Right? I can't foot stop on this.

He looks at you like, that is a point. You can clean dishes. With this? point. You can clean dishes. With this? Yeah. You're not going to break them with it, are you? No, I'm not. Can I oversee him just to make sure he doesn't... No, I need you.

You're going to be cooking the stew. Not the stew. It's either you or Skeever and she'll spit in it. Yeah, look at that. You're peeling pants. Skeever good with'll spit in it. Yeah, look at that. You're peeling pants. Skeever good with knife. Peel, peel, peel. Yeah, I thought you might be.

Can't at least oversee and make sure he does the first few correctly. All right. You can make sure he does the first few while I get the garlic bread ready. Oh, gracious. Garlic bread? Yeah, I'm going to get the garlic bread ready. Man, that's real fancy for a prison. It's shit. Oh, okay. Very gracious. Garlic bread? Yeah, I'm going to get the garlic bread ready. Man, that's real fancy for a prison. It's shit.

Oh, okay. Right. So you guys are set to work, and the other prisoners start filtering in, and this is where you start to see the other gangs. There is about four hobgoblins that surround this tiny, he must be about two or three foot tall, orange tree frog. Oh! This tiny he must be about two or three foot tall

Orange tree frog He's got red smears like red wall paint down one side of his face and he kind of like Lops around because it laughs and he like looks around He's moving around sat at the table There is a group of these kind of skull face guys kind of hunched over You can see them kind of them doing prison tattoos on their arms scratching it in with knives yeah we're cool

and they're just looming together and on the other side you see this long table full of halflings it's like 5 or 7 halflings and at the head of it is just this really fat stout halfling with these big jowls and he's there and he's actually got

a little bit of jewellery on, he's got some rings and he's like talking to the whole group oh yeah he's going to have the voice and he's talking, you don't hear him because he's off in the distance and as this little grung kind of walks in he kind of looks at the

four skull face guys and this little grung kind of walks in, he kind of looks at the four skull face guys. And this little grung kind of walks up. And as he gets up, he's like... And he slaps a knight like this little pen out of their hand. And the skull face guys get up and they're like, Hey, grung boy, what are you doing up? Sirik's going to destroy you, man. GRANDBOY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AH? SERIK'S GONNA DESTROY YOU, MAN! And, uh,

and this little frog like, looks up, he's like, YOU'RE INJURED! And this skull-faced guy reaches down to grab him, and as soon as his hand touches the little orange frog, you just see, like, acid and poison begin to burn at his hand,

he's like, and he, and he staggers back and the little frog is just like, and he does his little walk over to another table. I've finally broken him. This is my revenge. He walks over and the little orange frog

walks over to you, Forkin, and he gestures to one of the big hobgoblins, these kind of big brutes, and they lean over and they just slide what looks to be like solid liner, kind of like a playing card of gold, and he just slides it to you. And the little frog is like,

Hey, President Gagarin! In case there's any trouble, lean the other way, yeah? I've got problems with the Cynic boys. You're making problems with the Cynic boys. I've got my morning star out. Move back. Move back.

He backs off. Okay, okay, Morgan. You better watch yourself man I love him I can't be mad at that I can't be mad at that he's too cute so you're not corrupting oh hell no

brute force brute force smashy smashy so yeah but you see the little grung and you guys can make perception checks for me grung. And you guys can make perception checks for me, actually. The three prisoners. You guys can make perception checks.

I'm going to take some dice. Sure. Wisdom base, right? Yeah. 13. If you don't have a skill, then you just use your wisdom bonus. 12. 13.

24. 24. So, out of all of you, Skiva, you notice your little sharp eyes. As Vorgan begins his patrols, you see the frog whispering to his hobgoblin boys. Oh no, you're dead. They're eyeing up the guard like, this guy's messed with the wrong frog.

He's like, yeah. So the guard's dead. Yeah, I mean, you can see the grung and then the four hobgoblins are looking over. And the grung looks over at you and just gives you a little blink of one of his little froggy eyes. Does he lick it as well? But he winks, but then he licks it. I'm just going to be like...

So what are you guys doing? Cooking food is fine. You're literally made to wash stuff. But you're also handing out the plates. Is there anybody you want to speak to? Or do you want to try and, like... I'm going to speak to Bertie. Okay, go ahead, yeah.

Hello, Bertie. Oh, hey. I don't know his name. What's your name? Oh. Oh, I'm Bertie. Hi, Bertie. You're the shoe guy, right?

Yes, the shoe. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's your name, the shoe. Yeah, that's my nickname here. Is that what you were born with? No, no, Bertie. I put my hand up, that's my nickname here. Is that what you were born with? No, no, Bertie. I put my hand up, pat him on the back. Is that a no? You knew me, right?

I mean, yeah, I came like... You don't know what you're in for. Ten minutes ago. You're innocent. I mean, I did... You didn't do anything wrong. I mean... What did you do?

I mean, I was just following orders. Oh, you're a bad boy. I mean, someone broke my leg. Have I still got a broken leg? We'll say that they healed you. I'm going to knock a plate out of your hand. The smash is on the floor. And the tiefling is like, what are you doing?

You big clumsy. You both just said that at the same time. You don't want to break his plate. No, I don't want to break his plate. Everybody gets one. One? Oh, that's okay. But I mean, he did it. How many has he broken? He looks at you.

Make a persuasion check. There's dice here. Ten. He's like, a shoe? A shoe knows his place. He wouldn't break one of my plates. I would never dare. No.

Watch yourself, big man. You know what broken plates make? Just behind. Don't know what extra spices I might put in your stew, if you know what I mean. Paprika. I don't know what you mean.

I genuinely have no idea. I'll poison know what you mean. I genuinely have no idea. I'll poison you, you big dumb idiot. Why would you do that? Because you're on my shit list. Why is everyone even calling me shit? If you break another plate. You're not on my shit list now, because everyone gets one. Oh, that's cool, we're still friends.

I'll do it again. He did... Okay, fine. Just behind these guys, I'm just there with my potato, but I'm holding a plate in your line of vision, just waggling it. I mean, she's going to drop one. Back to peeling potatoes. Make a sleight of hand check. Nice.

Oh, if this fails, we'll have to skill its depth. If you don't have sleight of hand as a skill, it's just dex modifier. Dex modifier. So plus three. 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. Whoosh. Plays so good. I think Pia has Pia in pads.

I look so innocent. You better make sure you put that knife back, Skiva. I'm not giving you another shim. Skiva good. Skiva don't shim. You know what happened you put that knife back, Skiva. I'm not giving you another shim. Skiva good. You know what happened last time? Skiva died of shim. All right. Skull face alive.

Get back to work. Get back to work. Get back to work. Anyway. I'm going to whisper to Bertie now. No, you don't want that to happen again, do you? Well, no. I mean, I won't.

You'd be in so much trouble if you dropped another plate. Well, he poisoned me. That's why I'm on a plate again. He poisoned you and you died. Except I'd try to explain that you did it and then you'd say something and then he would believe you. I'm on a plate again. He poisoned you and you died. Except I tried to explain that you did it and then you'd say something and then he would believe you. I'm going to put my finger on his glass now.

Okay. Now you shut up now. It's time for speaking from this guy. Who? The shoe. That's a staff member and he wants to fuck you.

He wants to what? I mean fuck you. As in destroy you. You're going to die. Anyway. Okay. I can help you out. You know what I mean? What do you want to do? Look out there in that window. He's it. Destroy you. You're gonna die. Anyway. Okay. I can help you out. You know what I mean?

Whatever. Look out there in that window. You see that little frog? Yeah. Look at the guys with tattoos on their faces. Why is it like that? And that man that somehow has jewelry in prison. Good point.

The chef is the least of your troubles, son. You need someone with the know. Do you know? I know. So you stick around with me and do a couple favors for me. Can you take your finger off my arm? I'm not finished speaking. Okay.

Okay. Then I'll make it worth your while. Is there a room I can see? What? Can we get out of here No, I remember we didn't We can sleep over outside If we stay here a long time I guess we eventually leave

We just have to finish our work now and again We can do that You've got to keep it quiet though, you can see What? From the guard that came up to us earlier And the chef and everybody else, just our little secret Okay, I'm a little bit confused by this. Stop talking. I've got my finger on your mouth.

Yeah, no, I know. It's just we just kind of heard him back and forth. We help each other out. We get out. Bob's your uncle. Is he? I don't know. Honestly, I don't know where it came from. Okay, I don't really know who Bob is. You help me out. I'll help you out. Right.

Deal? So you get out and then you'll get me out. You're still talking. I'm just making...! Can you take my- You get one word. Okay. Perfect. I'm gonna go back to cooking.

Okay. Warden, is there anything you want to do? Like, you can see the gangsters, you can see this group working in the kitchens. If you want to do anything, you just shout. You're like, I wanna- if you want- if they're having a conversation, you're like, I wanna storm in. You can do that. You're a guard. You can do whatever you want to do anything, you just shout. If they're having a conversation, you're like, I want to storm in. You can do that. You're a guard. You can do whatever you want.

I'm good for now. I'm just patrolling around. You're just patrolling around, keeping an eye on stuff? Keeping an eye. Okay. You probably do over here a couple of other guards talking. Give me a perception check. See how much you pick up on.

Okay. 16. 16. 16. You probably catch words like, I hear it's in one of the cells. What? Something like, other than treasure? Nah.

Really? We have to do it quiet. And then that's all you kind of catch. It's like kind of from around, so you're not quite sure which of the guards said it, but somebody's up to something. Somebody's up to something in the prison. Skiva, is there anything you want to do?

Are the bad people still eyeing up the guard? Yeah, I mean, they're kind of going out to other business. You definitely clock them sort of like, it's probably something that they're planning, but they're not going to make a move now. No. Yeah. Cool.

But, yeah, you can see the others are kind of looking around. And there's definitely, your little group have got attention from kind of all three groups. All three groups kind of looking your way. Yeah. Can I just be, like, stealing food? Just, like, little bites of food? Yeah, just, like, nicking little bits here and there. Yeah, sure.

And then gobbing the skull member's soup. Okay. Yeah, so you're like when you spit in it and stuff like that. Okay. Give me a sleight of hand. Facts as well,

like when you make a perception check for me, I want to see, whenever anybody does something, I kind of want to see if you pick up on it. Rhiannon, you can use these dice as well.

Oh, I can use all those dice. I've already rolled. Yeah, for future though. 18. I've got a 10. No, so you don't catch Steve stealing food and spitting in cups. But yeah, you kind of do that. Food process begins winding down.

You kind of fill out the meals. And people are now just enjoying the wreck here. And a little halfling moves up to the kitchen. And he's quite well dressed, slicked back hair. He's like my good kitchen attendants. Mr. Coldfingers would love to speak with you all.

If you have a moment of your time. Always lots of moments. We have all the time in the world for Mr. Coldfingers. That's very good to hear Shu. I like to hear that. Come along. Come with me you three. You want me good to hear, Shu. I like to hear that. Come along. Come with me, you three. Oh, me as well? Yeah, please.

Oh, you either. Mr. Coat Fingers is very excited to meet you, my big friend. Oh, well, hey, I'm excited to meet him too. Oh, isn't that nice? What a lovely time we're having in here. Isn't that real good? Oh, yeah, we are. That's real nice.

It's the best time. Best time ever. Best time. Great friends. Hey, come on. Come with me, huh? Oh, I like this guy! And then you are brought over to the long table.

Soon as... ...eye contact's broken, I'm gonna push Bertie to one side and say, You say any word, outline, I'm gonna gut you. What, you gut me? You just say nothing. Alright? Say nothing at all? Say nothing to any of these people.

Pretend you've got a finger to my mouth. Finger to your mouth. Okay, but I was still talking when you were doing that. Don't do anything. Come on, my friends. We don't want to hear Mr. Goldfinger's way. You know, real bad news. So you were brought over to

this long table with all these tiny halflings. God, you see them getting brought over. And as you approach in unison, all of these halfling heads turn to look at you and just sat at the end of the table,

just this very overweight, big, fat halfling. Somehow has Jory in jail. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He's sitting there quite calmly and he looks at everyone. I'm so pleased that you could come over and talk to me.

Aquamama? It's Aquamama! It's Aquamama! It's not. Maybe I'm doing it more like this. I'm going to do it more like this now. Okay. So pleased that you could all come over to my table and my invitation.

Thank you for coming. It's always exciting to meet new members of our little, oh, how do we always say resort guests. What's your name, big man? His name is Bertie, sir. He doesn't speak very much. He's a bit of a mute. Oh, I see. Well, thank you, sir. If he's a mute, how did you know his name?

Oh, the guard told me. It's imprinted on his Oh, the guard told me. Hmm. It's imprinted on his butt, apparently. Very good. I brought you all over here today because I want to make something very clear to the three of you. The Hardlock family

we reward loyalty very greatly. I think that having such skilled individuals would be very worthwhile. I know that some of you may have allegiances elsewhere. But I don't mind. I want you to know that I'm a forgiving halfling. We're all in this together. It's us versus them.

He gestures towards Vorgen. My boys, they've heard something. A couple of the guards think that they may have discovered something and some plans about this prison. about this prison one of the cells is rumored that it may be connected to an old treasure chamber in the dungeon of the mad mage

if these guards well we feel that we should benefit from such spoils. We don't know which cell it is in. My boys, well, some of the other residents of the prison will talk to them. The three of you, I see this, I think,

oh, what a lovely entrepreneurial opportunity for cold fingers. So, I'm going gonna make you an offer I will give you my protection Here And in exchange You will find out which cell Has this treasure chamber attached You will get through the wall

And then I will share With spoils with you But if you betray me if you disappoint me that would be very very bad and I don't I'm sure you don't want to find out why they call me Godfingers? I really don't. That's all I wanted to say. Come and find me and my boys if you get more information.

We will do, sir. Thank you, sir. Thank you, shoe. For this opportunity. No, you're very welcome. If you like your shoes, Bob. No, no, no, no, no. I still have to pay you. You did excellent work. Very good. Thank you, sir. Very to pay you. Excellent work, very good.

Thank you sir, very kind. Excellent. Alright, go on about your business. I'm gonna eat this fruit jello cup. Come on Bertie. See ya. Back to the kitchen. Very talkative, firm mood. I shit myself.

Looks at you, Phyllogus. Eye contact. Disappointed. Scuttleback. So disappointed. Lins in. He whispers something to one of his brothers. Oh, no.

Oh, no, I'm dead. By the way, my pillow is soaked. You disrespect me. It's a bad mistake for you. Your pillow is soaked from having washed it, so it's just dripping. Yeah, so the entire time I've just been dripping and it's been squelching and stuff like that. So when I wave, it just sprays about. Like as little old guys slip over.

Yeah. So you guys are escorting back to The common area You can go up into your cells The cells are kind of open, you can just go and talk to whoever you want The guards are patrolling So again, if there's any point you want to jump in Feel free

At some point can I break off And go and see Yeah, you want to break off from the gang Yeah, so you I'm just going to scuttle away, you want to break off from the gang? Yeah, so you... I'm just going to scuttle away. Yeah, do you want to try and stealth away and avoid your cellmates' notice and the guards' notice?

Okay, give me a stealth check. And then anybody else, if you want to make perception checks. It depends on how much you care. If you're trying to keep an eye on Skiva. Ooh. 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Okay. Yeah, you kind of skulk off. I 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Okay. Yeah, you kind of like skulk off.

Unsure if anybody's seen you. Do you want to give me a perception check? I'll do a little one, yes. Vorgan. No, come back. Yes, use the dice against each other. Yes. Oh, my God.

Bullshit. You got spotted. Well, all you see is you see Skva kind of melt away from her cellmates and move over towards the grung that obviously you had trouble with earlier. So you are aware. You move over, and in the wreck area, in the kitchen he had these four hobgoblins, but now Leap has one that appears to be a frogman, literally like a larger version of the grung so larger

a bit more dim-witted kind of looks like kind of dumb he also has a one of the hobgoblins and trying to think of a cool creature I can put in wolf, darwolf wolfman, a flump

a flump nailed it and you go over and you can see that he's kind of adorned his Wolfman. A flump. Flump. A flump. Nailed it. And you go over, and you can see that he's kind of adorned his cell. Like, he's sat in his cell. But it looks more like a shrine, like a kind of, like, Chult-style shrine. Like, there's paintings on the walls. He's kind of, like, sat there in, like, a wooden chair that he's, like, fashioned.

And he's kind of cross-legged. And he's licking something. He's, like, just l just licking like a fruit. I'm going to do like an elaborate handshake with his henchmen. Yeah.

Just like kind of like fist together, high five. That's a form of like yeah. There's probably like because it's like all monsters

there's probably like a this like the sign of a claw and it's like and then something like that they're like they know they nod and leap looks at you Mr. Morgan, Skeever, you're always missing me.

Licks his eye again. Skeever says watch out for that guard. They know something's up. Yes, yes. We are having problems with Mr. Morgan. He cannot be bought like many of the other guards. We are thinking of arranging an accident for you. Accident would be good. I think that you can help us with the accident, Skeena. Skeena, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Yes. I will make sure

that you and your cell are put on mine duty tomorrow. And Mr. Volgin will be in the mines with you. There will be a distraction that we will leave the other guards away and leave you momentarily with him There will also be some members of the The Sirix

There to lay the blame You need to make sure the god dies I will have Two of my men with you He suggested the hobgoblin Not the hobgoblin? No He's kept for other purposes.

Shit. He just lies on him. It's like a bed. It's like a more comfy bed. Aw. Fluffy. Yeah. It's flump flumpy.

He's saying, You do this to me, I'll make sure you're well in the morning. This is my revenge This is 100% me just being like I'm going to be weird Right Skiva, are you proud?

Skiva knows you look after me Okay, okay One more thing Yeah? The halflings Yeah? They have word of treasure I've been hearing the same rumors.

I'm not sure which cell it is in, but I don't think it is one of ours. It might be the Sirik boys. There's cell 12, I think. I am content to remain in this stone home for now. I have no need for treasure. We have enough from the gold in the mines. Skiva thinks. Difficult, I know.

But the guards are going against the halflings. You could maybe get them to... What are you proposing? Halflings? You could maybe get them to... Why do you propose to you? Skiva kind of stops for a second as she's trying to think. She's not very bright. Cross, cross, cross, stab, stab, stab. The difficulty is the halflings have a good relationship with the golems. It's very difficult.

They may oppose them, but Coldfinger's pockets are very deep outside these walls. But I will take it under consideration. Thank you, Leap. It's like he gestures and the hobgoblin palms you. It looks like it was's like a little... It looks like it was probably once a little ceramic cup, but the top of it's been covered in a kind of fabric and then taped up or something.

It's quite small. Inside that, you will find something to assist you in your job. And it's a vial of poison. Ooh! It's a blade. It's like you pour it on a shiv and it will do more damage can I be standing

outside the room having this discussion just like arms folded so if you're trying to listen in I think that's going to be two checks for you that's going to be a stealth check to see how much you can overhear without noticing you and then a perception check to see how much you could overhear without noticing you. Yeah. And then a perception check to see how much you hear of their plans.

Nice. Yes. Oh, what is the worst? Wow. Four. That's nine for the first one. Okay. All right.

And then the second one. And the second one. I'm going to get a couple more. Yeah. Do it, Rhi. Spend those dice. You have to get rid of the three. Oh, the three. second one, I'm gonna get a couple more. Yeah, do it, Rhii! Just spend those dice. You have to get rid of the three you already have. Oh, the three.

Yeah. Yeah, so put like a little pile. Just get three more. Just get three more, I can replace. 17, 19... Okay. Yeah. So you pretty much, I would say you probably hear almost all of the conversation.

Oh, shit. But it's kind of, you hear most of it at the tail end of it, so you don't necessarily hear the actual, like, who the target is. You don't know they're after you. They know that you get enough that they're after somebody, and that Skivenel's a cup of poison. Okay. But you notice, like, Grunt the Leap seems to notice you,

and almost, like, looks at you pointedly as he's explaining all of this. Right. And this little orange glung just licks his eyeball and just dead black eyes stare at you. Right. Do I notice? Yeah, I'd say so. With a nine god shit,

I think you'd notice the guard. Sort of the doorway. I think it's like you quietly approach and you hear the tail. I think it's like you quietly approach and you hear the tail end of this conversation and then you just like... Yes. Skulking around.

I'll just walk out and be like, all right, Gov. I'll be like, okay, I'll approach and be like, I've just heard what you were talking about in there. Me? Skiva? Skiva's voice is changing a lot. I don't know what you were talking about in there. Me? Skiva? That's true. Skiva's voice is changing a lot.

I don't know what she sounds like. So it's my opinion. You've been telling me too much to leave. Leave sounds very scary. I bend down and I'm like, I understand that you're under these guys' protection. I understand that you're being paid by these guys. Skiva's not being paid.

But what if I can help you guys? Ooh. See, I know something's up, as much as you do. Sceva's listening. And to be honest, everyone here is all playing the same game, and it's doing my fucking nutting! I'm bored. I'm so tired of this.

No one's got any justice. I want to go out and find my own. So what if I help you guys get out? We can forge new paths. Wow. We can start new. Sceva's interested. Sceva bored too.

Well, talk to your friends. See what they think. I think underneath you guys might be alright. I can look after you. I can protect you. Skeeva cute. Skeeva innocent. Skeeva here on wrong charges. Skeeva only ate the one eyeball. I can help you. Let you guys know, I'm not like them. I'm not like the rest of them. You can get us out. I can help you. I can look for this room.

Who has treasure? Skiva doesn't need treasure. Skiva needs exit. Treasure only gets you so far in this place. It just all circulates around. No one gets any richer. It's all the same. Skiva wants exit.

If it... I would say that because you guys have spent enough time in the prison, if there is a treasure room, that would imply that it's part of a larger dungeon complex, which means that there would probably be an exit from said treasure room. Your friends know. I'll be around. Skiva, I have no friends.

Okay. Yeah, so Skiva, do you go back to your cell? It's probably getting late evening. You've kind of done, like, the work. You've kind of thing, like... Time, like, obviously passes much slower than that. You probably have conversations, but it gets to nighttime.

There's a call for, like, lights out! Come on, you lot! Fucking get to bed! And the cell doors are all closed. The three of you are locked in your cell. Warden, you go back to your... Guard, you go back to your quarters.

Yeah, so do you guys want to talk about anything in the evening? This Sucks Like really sucks How have you been in here? You're not supposed to be talking Bertie Well I can talk now right? Can you see me Bertie?

Yeah you're like yeah Oh It's a shame Why were you meant to be invisible? Can you see me, Bertie? Yeah, you're like... Yeah. Oh. It's a shame. Why? Were you meant to be invisible? I'm just making sure we can see good. Yeah, yeah.

You've got a job to do. It doesn't seem like you can see good. I'm going to hit him around the face with a shoe. Ow! Don't you talk back to me. What? Right. You realise I'm your boss in here?

No you're not. I am. I'm gonna hit him again. Ow, come on! Aquamumba's my boss! Who? Aquamumba. He's dead to you in here. He's not actually dead though. Yeah but he's dead to you in here.

He might be actually. In here. No. You've got no outside world anymore. This is your world. I'm your leader. I don't... I don't...

I don't really like you. You don't have to like me. You just have to fall in line. Okay, so what? I want you to hit some stuff. You? Not me. The other you? No?

Hit Skiva. Get stabbed! Right, I don't want that. I'm going to go to the cell, alright? We're going to find this treasure room. Is it in this one? I really hope it is, because that would be very convenient, but I don't think so. I've been looking around for years in here. Okay, so you don't think it's in yours?

We need to go to the other rooms, other cells. Skiva, do you know anything? Skulking around. Skiva, do you know anything? Skiva, do you know anything? Do you know anything about the cell? Maybe. Skiva, I'll trade you his shoes

for some knowledge. What's Skiva gonna do with big shoes? We'll trade them to the orange frog. They're destroyed. The frog doesn't need big shoes. He doesn't wear shoes. No, but he likes licking the... He's a frog.

I know, he likes licking the weird build-up of bacteria on them, doesn't he? He's weird like that. He does like weird bacteria. I'm going to back Trot up on this one. He's nailed it. Cannon. He's cannon. He loves licking.

Especially if it's warm. Yeah. Now, what do you know? I'll give you two shoes. You're part of the gang. I'm under their influence. All right? I've got some debts.

How not under the influence can you be? Well, if he kills them all, that's all good. Or if we get out, no more debts. Skeever might have a way out. Yeah? Sceva's been scheming. I know, yeah. Scheming, Sceva.

You do it every day. You always disappear at the end of the night and then you come back with loads of knowledge. You actually talk in your sleep quite a lot, I would say. Sceva don't talk. You do, you absolutely ramble. What did Sceva say last night? You actually had a premonition about some tall Goliath man coming in here with a half an arm. I think you've actually got some weird foresight, which is kind of disturbing. Skiva might be magical.

Oh, hey, that's me! I'm a big Goliath guy. I think it's all the soap you've been eating. Do you have any other dreams? Did you see Boomer? Who is Boomer? Boomer. Who? Boomer. Who?

Boomer. Who? I mean... Boomer. Boomer. Boomer. It's my friend. All right, enough with the stupid game.

Get on with fun. You have no friends. No, I do. We're your friends now. But I already said... Skiver, what do you know? Cell 12. Here we go.

It's our way out. So you know Phileas. That is definitely the Siric skull boys. That's Anastasia's cell. True. So she's, yeah, to get her out is going to be pretty tricky. You're going to either need to have the guards take her out, sneak in there when she's on work duty

And there'll probably still be a couple of her boys lingering around Or find another way to do it We're going to have to pull some strings to get into that cell I've almost won over Calidus, I think People really like our shoes, innit? Honestly, it may not do anything Not the wild arms not the wild arms. Well, no, but

I think we can win over the guards. Get them to move the skies. Speaking of guards. What? You know, Skeever's guard.

Big orc forgan. You mean the one I literally just said? Yes. Skeever wasn't listening.

Right. Yeah, what about him? He's going to have an accident. You're not gonna kill another cop. You can't kill this one. I worked so hard to butter him up with shoes. Oh, Sceva hasn't stopped anyone for 24 hours. Did you have a dream about that?

Is that, how do you know he's going to have an accident? Skiva listens to words. Yeah, but accidents just happen. She's going to shank him. Why would you... I just hold up this little shiv. But why? It's probably like a brush, like a comb,

that you just file down into this proper shiv. Can you just delay it a day? God also approached Skiva. Guard offer a way for Skiva to get out. Oh, that's interesting. Guard tired of us, of gangs, of other guards. Sick of their job, eh? Mm-hmm.

What's a way out. They offered the cell. Mention maybe the treasure vault has an exit. The guard wants a cut of the treasure probably for a nice retirement fund, I imagine. I think the guard is too nice. Well, we get to the treasure room with the guard as a distraction. We shift the shit out of the guard. Makes whoever, you know, gave you that job happy. And then we're scot-free. Split it three ways, what do you say?

I have to find the exit, though. Sell 12, right? Mm-hmm. He bashes holes. Yeah, well... Nice. I bash things and they make holes. I think we've got a perfect job. Right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I mean... Nice. I bash things and they make holes.

I think we've got a perfect job. All right. So in the morning, go to the captain, see if we can get some distraction, get into the cell. Okay. I don't want to kill anyone. You're not going to kill anyone. You're going to hit a lot of rocks.

Skiba, kill! I don't think I can bash holes with a pillow. Oh, Skiba, stab that. She can cut it off. You have done, or or we'll do it okay by the time until we're in this in the treasure room skiva chew that right off chew it i could probably just pull it you can see skeeve's got like really nasty rat-like teeth like her two front teeth are like really pointed and nasty like fangs but nasty as hell Let's get some sleep. We're going to need it. Okay.

You guys get a long rest. I snore. You get a long rest. 30. Your first one. In the morning, guard Vorgen, you can do the rounds.

You can volunteer for guard duty to do the rounds for the early morning inspection if you wanted a chance to go and speak to this lot before the day gets started. Yeah. You guys know that you are down for mines

on work duty. Cool. And that will take up most of your day. So yeah, Fulgin, you come round in the morning. You were right, you wake them up. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Alright, you lot. Get up. Time for another day.

Mr. Callidus. A word, if you will. We've got a problem with the pisser in here. No problem. Thank you. You slip inside? Yeah. Okay.

Now, old Skeever's been talking to me. Has she? I wave. Hello, Skeever. She says some very, very cool words. You know what I mean? So you have the conversation? Good. So what do you think?

Well, I think this is the perfect situation. We find a treasure room. All we need is a little distraction from yourself in the position that you're in. Anastasia and her boys are probably going to be gone in the cell that enters into the treasure room. If we could pull some strings and maybe the warden could take Anastasia away. And her underlings, that would be very useful. And then you can follow us into the treasure room, how would you say?

What's that sound like? Peachy? Peachy enough, but I would like to lead as much as possible. Oh, you can go in front of me any day. Yeah, you can take the lead. I'll cover your rear. I might have you near me. Huh?

What do you mean? You're as dumb as a bag of spuds, but... What are spuds? People keep telling me about these things. Potato. Some is a bag of spuds, but... What are spuds? People keep telling me about these things. Potatoes. You keep saying that, but I'm not explaining what a spud is. Potatoes. You're just making noises.

But he's going to be making holes in the treasure room. So tough. That's a good plan. We need to get into the treasure room from the cell, right? He can bust his way in. Look at that metal hand. It's in the pillow. Well, we'll take the pillow off for you.

I probably could have just taken it off myself, like, hours ago. So, you can't just come to us with this kind of offer without something in return. What do you want? I just want to be out. That's all. I can give you an out not one of your outs hey why don't you just quit

i just love it it's not it's you you would quit but you'd like lose your job you probably couldn't find any more to work anymore it's a whole bureaucracy thing i have like a four week you know notice okay okay no references no no reference at all you know it does not look good on your cv it does not no back okay okay i take it back you lost me at when i said quit before i finished trust me the amount of paperwork these kinds of things take, it'd be a lot easier just to leave it all behind. Oh god, it's even more boring in here. Look, you take the lead. I'm fine with that. Skiva, you're fine with it? Skiva, fine. Yeah? You're probably the best in front anyway. You grab whatever treasure you want on the way out.

I'm not here for treasure. But it'd be a nice retirement fund. I just want to get out. I just want to start a new life, see a new world, make a name for myself outside of this place. I'm going to show you so much. I bet you are. I've got so much on the outside ready to show you. Do you?

Yeah. Oh, that's really nice. Sunsets. How about... Beaches. How about you start working on Anastasia and her boys? Oh, don't worry. Make that sound nice and clear for us.

And, you know, can't go mining today, is that alright? Oh no, you'll have to go mining otherwise. What? You'll arouse suspicion if you're not in your posted positions, trust me. I'll not be preoccupied, you know. With what? What is there to do here? This is your last chance, you know.

Just pull the last strings. Skiva recommends you don't go mining today. I don't intend to. You guys should. But how do we get back? You just come back at the end of the work day. Everything will be in place for you guys when you get back. Trust me, I'll get Anastasia

out of the way, then when night falls we'll be good to go. Hey, now we're having like a conversation you're not calling me a piece of shit um i mean you're still a piece of shit all right anyway so when i was like outside okay someone broke my leg okay and then he ran away and like did he come in did you get him did he come here all the new prisoners came in but he would have come to this

he had like a burned no no one had that description as being here he had like he had knives he um so should we

should we get going yeah the sooner the better he had knives so so what is your plan what are you going to do to try and get

Anastasia to get out Rhiannon as Vorgin so I gonna do to try and get Anastasia to get out Rhiannon as Vorgan? So I'm gonna try and stir up some trouble try and get a little little situation happening Okay, what kind of situation? Okay, you want to get like your case you want to spark the the cirric boys and Who are you gonna try and get them to have trouble with? and who are you going to try and get them to have trouble with? The hobbits.

The hobbits? The hobbits. Okay. The hobbits are going to... So are you going to do this by spreading rumours? Are you going to put them in rack area together? Yeah, just try and get them to wind each other up. Okay, okay. Yeah, so you can do this.

Roll, make a... I think that this would be a probably intimidation but you can use as many devices you want lucky for me just the three just very 22 29 yes you can probably corner some of like the lower level members of these gangs and like kind of like bully them a little bit and shove them and start those fanned flames going. And eventually it becomes into a big brawl. Somebody gets shanked.

Other people are fighting. The guards come in. They pull them all apart. And it's very clear that these two gangs have been fighting. What's the next objective? So you've got them fighting with each other, but the kind of the leaders are both staying away from it.

They don't meddle with themselves in those kind of affairs. I'm going to go to Einfang. Okay. And say to him, Stasia's been stirring trouble. Okay, so we'll do this. So you go up to the warden's office,

and it's this big, rich mahogany office. There is like armoured statues. You can see that there's a weapon rack behind him, his big desk and his big heart, this half dragon man, um,

kind of looks up from reports and he's just like, ah, God Vulcan, what can I do for you today? Ah,

Mr. Einfang, I believe there's been a situation, uh, in the common room. Uh, there's a, there's a bit of a gang war situation happening.

Yes, Hardlock and these Ziric cultists from the reports. Yes. Do you have an idea of how to deal with them then? I believe we need to defuse the situation. So we need to remove... If we remove the leaders from the picture, I believe things should calm down. You're talking isolation?

Isolation. That's quite risky. Give me a persuasion check. There's elements that you don't know are at work. That's a lot of... Six dice. Oh, wow. But you needed them.

I needed them. Eight, ten, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, seventeen. Seventeen total. Sixty-six and a d20. Do you have any buffs or anything? Any... Charisma bonus. Charisma bonus is minus one.

Twenty-two. Is that one included? Oh yeah. That three was in it as well. So twenty-two, so it goes to twenty-one. Oh yeah. So he looks at you and you're going to get what you want, but there's going to be definitely some...

Look at his step. Negotiations. All right. He's like, wow. I mean, I believe, obviously, this was caused by the Syracultists. I believe that they are the ones ultimately responsible. Many of the hardlocks are obviously criminals, but they keep themselves to themselves

if we leave them alone. So I can arrange to have the, I believe her name is Anastasia, move to isolation, but yes, there will be there's a matter I need you to deal with. There is a

there is a member of the Hardlocks who has earned the displeasure of Coldfingers. I would like to see him have an accident. There's not an accident. Do what's necessary, sir. I believe that The cobbler Should meet an accident Wow

You're right there are a lot of accidents This is a very accident prone prison They should baby proof this place Have you done health and safety recently? Everything in order? Oh by these gold accounting books It's very much in order Money money money I believe that the gold accounting books, it's very much in order.

Money, money, money. I believe that the individual in question is on the mind's duty today. As you wish. I'll have the report. Anastasia will be placed into isolation this evening, providing some matters are dealt with.

I'll just walk out the room. Fuck! Meanwhile, those of you down in the mines on work order, as you begin shipping away, you are manacled together, so the three of you are all manacled together, and you have pickaxes,

but the guards keep enough of a distance where if you tried to turn on them, you're manacled, it'd be pretty hard for you to fight in this condition. You're mining away. And as you are, there is a group of six halflings shuffling together who come into the same area as you. They begin mining away. And one of the halflings turns to the guard.

He's like, hey Jerry, you catch that joust the other night? Who won? Was it my favourite, the green knight? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was the green knight, blah, blah, blah. And they start having a conversation about some joust out in the city, whilst the other end of the chain of halflings kind of wiggles over towards you, and he looks at you and says, Hey, I'm out to deliver a little message. Mr. Coldfingers is somewhat disappointed that you've not come to speak to him about the little task he gave you.

You know what I'm saying? Hey, you're going to have to speak up. You're really low down, I'm really high up. Why don't you crouch down here, big guy? Or you want me to take some of your toes off? Why would you? Why? But you're shorter.

Oh, hang on. What's your AC, buddy? What the hell? 14. The pickaxe. He goes to mine the wall, slips, and then his pickaxe goes into your foot And then he's like Oh I missed

Jesus And the guard's like Hey what are you doing Come on break it up He's trying to mine my foot I just slipped guard This pickaxe is so heavy So heavy

I can't do it. He's like, hey, come on, back up there. All right, you little shits, move on. Come on, we'll take you in a different mode. And then the little halfling just looks back and he's like... Mr. Coldfingers is waiting. He's waiting. We're a little preoccupied.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be preoccupied with the fishes. Now it's gonna take longer. He backs off. Have you had some still toe cap boots? If you gave him my shoes, if you didn't break them... It would have been horribly mangled.

The repair work on a hole, a mining pit hole. You keep telling me about the repair work of shoes, you could have just not broken my shoes. So, Vorgin, what are you do? So, I... With this new information. I go to the mining area. Okay. I tend to just...

Yeah, the guards are like... Swans are along, patrolling, like, hands behind my back. The guards are like, morning, Vorgin. Morning, morning. Morning, Vorgin. Are you taking over? Oh yeah, I'll take your shift, you go get some rest, mate. Alright, yeah.

They just head off. Senior guard. That's it. shift. You go get some rest, mate. They just head off. Senior guard. Let's go to shoes. I'm like, alright, shoes. Hello. Hello. Can I roll a perception check? An insight check. An insight check for sure.

Mr. Canatus. True honour. Can we watch your sweat? Lovely to see you. You too. What bonus would it be? This would be wisdom. Three, six, nine, ten, eleven.

No, it's just Morgan coming by. Obviously you're working together so he's probably coming in to let you know how the plan's going to go. How good's your acting? How good's your acting? How good's my acting? Yeah. What would you like me to play? Can you pretend to be a little bit dead? Pretend to be dead? A little bit, just a little bit, just convincing enough.

Accident. I don't know how. You want me to stop my heart or something? Hey wait, my acting's really good it's fine you wouldn't believe it but I'm actually in no pain right now I'm sure it's beautiful I'm sure it's amazing what happened

Anastasia's been taken care of she's been moved out of her cell into solitary confinement it's fantastic but Iron Fang wants you taken care of the warden wants me dead. The Warden wants you dead. What did I do?

You pissed off the halflings. That's bad. But... I'm as good as dead anyway. But... You may as well kill me. If there's a way I can... No, I'm joking.

If there's a way I can convince him that you are dead. And he can see that you are dead. I know it's a long shot. I know it's incredibly convoluted. But if there's a way we can convince him just enough, we might be able to all get out of this. All right, well, there's... There must be a way.

There's a prison doctor and everything. They're going to check. I don't know. Can you shock me to death and then resuscitate me later on? I could be brain dead by then. So wait, who did he annoy? The halflings. I mean, they're tiny.

Well, yes, but... They're dangerous. Yeah, but they're like really small. Yeah, I understand their height disadvantage, but they've got a lot more than just height. They have strength in numbers. But they're tiny. Dangerous things come in small packages,

and at that I'm going to hold up my little shiv and just... Do they all have knives? Probably, yeah. He doesn't get it, does he? No. They know people, they control other people, they're much bigger. Do they? Yes.

It doesn't matter, but you're right. He stabbed your foot! How am I supposed to protect him? I mean, I hope, but, like, come on. I can't be knocked out. Maybe we can disguise you. The other thing is you could potentially pay off the prison doctor. That is true, I could.

But you'll need something to pay him off with. I've got soap. If we can get to the treasure room, I can maybe use some of the treasure to pay off the prison doctor. How about if we get to the treasure room and make our escape? That's also very true. We don't have any.

Then we don't have any. That's true. Then I'll never see you again. Yeah. We just have to be quick. Yes. Then the job's still on. The job's still on.

So what you could do is you could send word to the warden that you've taken care of quick. Yes. Then the job's still on. It's still on. So what you could do is you could send word to the warden that you've taken care of the cobbler in the mines and say that you've hidden the body. And in that way, that'll buy you enough time to try and sneak in. But as soon as they find out that the body's not in the mines, they're

going to probably come looking for you. So it's going to be a time factor. So yeah, we'll jump ahead a little bit. So, Vorgan sends word to the warden, seems very pleased. He's like, yep, I'll have Anastasia moved. You guys kind of keep them in a secure area in the mines, and you kind of keep the other guards away. And when it comes time to leave, you unshackle them.

You can try and sneak out pickaxes if you want to, but they're pretty big and they're pretty bulky, so how are you going to do that? I'm finding my shiv. You're just going to keep your shiv? What about you two? You can try and keep a pickaxe, but how are you going to hide it? I don't think I can. Honestly, I'm going to just rely on Bertie.

Okay. I'm hiding one in my foot right now, apparently. It's not in your foot. It wasn't left in there. It probably just took a toe. It's not like the foot. I mean, if they say I need a pickaxe I'm probably just gonna take a pickaxe and just hold it. Hold it. Yeah. Okay. Okay that works, yeah.

Yeah, that works, yeah. And then just walk through the prison. Ooh, sure. Okay. Yeah. Um, one of the, like there will be two guards who will try and stop you, they're like, oh what are you doing? And they'll look at Vorg and be like, what's he doing? Oh it's just a simple mistake, he's repairing. We're just going to take it over to the... That's a deception check. Forge. You can help if you want, Bertie. I don't think he would help if he spoke.

He's just like... 3, 8, 12, 15. And I... All right. We're going to have to... It's really unusual. And he's like, I'm going to go tell the warden I all right It's really unusual and he's like I'm gonna go tell the warden. All right, and oh, no, no, it's fine Don't worry the warden knows you've already let him know ahead of time. It's fine. Don't worry Okay, they'll watch you go. But as soon as you start moving away, you see one of them does start heading off And you can see you kind of catch the last thing of this woman it's a very kind of elegant woman long dark hair very

gothic morticia adams like get your hands off me i don't need to go anywhere i'm being dragged away kind of thing um and some of her boys are like watching you get in the cell and you can see that like actually part of the bed you start pulling the beds away on the rear end they've obviously started tunneling a little bit of it already um they've've got a very small hole that they've dug out already. So what are you doing? Are you just going to try and pickaxe your way through? Are you going to have Bertie try and smash it? What's the plan?

Bertie's got a pickaxe, right? He's holding one, yeah. I'm just going to hold the pickaxe in place and then just punch the end of it. Oh, my God. Pickaxe is normally double. Okay. Give me a strength check. Are you raging or are you... I don't think he'd be raging right now.

Okay, but just strength. You get double. Oh god, I forgot about dice. You get advantage on strength checks by the way. When he's raging. When I'm raging. I rolled a seven. Uh, ow! You just punch this spiked end of it.

You take three points of damage. Oh, here's my metal end. Okay. Buddy. Yeah? Hold the pickaxe. Like everybody else in the mines today did. And smash the floor. Well, you told me you wanted to smash the wall.

With the pickaxe. Oh! You need to hear people moving out in the- Be quick, come on. This isn't my good hand. Do it. Okay. I'm just- So you make another- so you can make an athletics check,

and you can have advantage because you're using the pickaxe. Bam. Ooh. I'll take that. An 11, 7, 11, 15, 21, 24. So with a couple of hefty whacks, and the sound does reverberate and echo. 33.

You can hear people kind of go like, huh? But it takes like three swings, like one, bang, huge chunk of stone, bang, huge chunk of stone, and then you pull the rest of it out. There is a lot of like, what the hell, but there's also the shouting of this Alexander woman that's like going on, and there is a hole big enough that all of you could like crawl through, and you can see there is a long stone corridor that leads on. all of you could like crawl through and you can see there is a long stone corridor um that leads on um and the chunks are big enough that you could probably try and like pull them into place and then kind of pull the bed uh to kind of hide it from you absolutely do that okay so you crawl

through into the stone corridor uh you probably the probably vorgin you're the last one you kind of push the the bed and pull it back with you and then begin just piling the rocks if anybody does a really thorough search, they're going to quickly find this hole. But you're just going to have to hope that you can move out quickly enough. You can see it's probably about 30 feet long, very old, traditionally worked dungeon corridor,

kind of like flagstones, walls, that ends in a metal door set into the stone itself. What's the plan? Team? Buddy. Smash! Alright, look, at some point I'm going to have to ask a question. Like, what are you guys doing?

Do you want to get out of here or not? Well, I do, but what are you guys doing? Look at the size of you. Yeah, no, but what are you guys doing? Advising you how best to hit the door. No, I can hit the door, but like... Then I get out. We're all getting out.

But what have you done to deserve to get out? Helped you get out. But I could have just punched that wall. You'd know it was there without us. You didn't know the cell. It's so infuriating. I'm trying to be really neutral as damn, but if I was a player, I'd be like,

I'm going to kill him. I'm literally going to kill him. The only reason I'm not is because really neutral as DM, but if I was a player, I'd be like, I'm going to kill him. I'm literally going to kill him. The only reason I'm not is because he's so big. Bertie, Bertie, my sweet, sweet summer child. We need to get out of here. So I'm not a piece of shit?

You're a sweet summer child. For now. But please. I'm just going to whisper to the shoes. You'll be like, can Sceva stab him? No, but I'm going to just going to whisper to the shoe. You'll be like, can Skiva stab him? No, but I'm going to kill that boomer of his as soon as I'm out.

Why? He sounds like a lovable rogue. He's pissing me off. So what, you're currently stood 30 feet away from this door, like in this corridor. Fine. I'll punch the door. Skiva can make you angry. So you just go up and punch the metal door. Yeah.

Give me an athletics check. Oh, okay. Three dice for that one. Athletics? Yeah. This is basically strength. It's like he's punching it so I'm just going to pull it off if he keeps going. A natural one.

That's four, seven, twelve. Still a twenty-one. Okay. 4, 7, 12, still a 21. Okay, you make this kind of reverberation. You kind of buckle the door, but you don't quite blow it off. It was clearly a locked door, and the lock just kind of breaks and snaps, but the door doesn't quite pull off. You have to spend a couple of minutes pulling it and heaving it off. And you can hear people in the cell just behind

you starting to like look around and things like that um and as the door you pull it open and leave it it leads into a long uh about 50 foot long corridor about 30 feet wide there are six petrified statues that look like adventurers um on plinths the... There's three on each side down the wall. At the far end, there is a glass chest within which you can see piles of gold as well as several magical-looking relics. And there is a door on the far end as well. And set into the floor in the very middle of this room

is a large brass eye. This is it. We struck big. You can see this glass chest is like, there must be thousands of gold in it. There's like a pair of magical looking boots, a staff, some sort of helmet. We're sorted for life, even if we split it four ways. I'm going to go have a look. I can't.

So you're just going to ravenously go up to it. As soon as you step on the brass eye... Oh, fine. What? No. Oh, dear. As soon as Phyllida steps on the brass eye, this jolt of electricity erupts along the whole

brass eye. You take 32 points of lightning damage as you are just like left smouldering. Are you alive still? Yeah, yeah. I've got 65 in total. So you take 32. You're like

as you kind of stand there and then behind the glass chest, you hear this like, and stepping out is a goblin in a jester's outfit. And he's like, that was brilliant! You fell for it! What a dumb idiot!

You just run! I'm gonna kill you. I would do that. I'm gonna run at him. I would do it! I'm gonna kill you I wouldn't do that I'm gonna run at him I would do it I'm pissed Okay Yeah I've got a shiv He just

He like holds his arms out And he's like Okay Yeah make an attack roll Charge again Natural 20 Oh wow 25

Okay I mean yeah He's a goblin He dies Like you plunge the shiv Into his forehead I thought he was gonna be Looking at me And he's a goblin. He dies. Like, you plunge the ship into his forehead. I thought he was going to be looking at the moon. And then he falls down dead.

As his body hits the ground, his body transforms into a key, and three of the statues come after you. Buddy. Initiative? Well, yes. Well, so far, the three of you,

they don't go towards you. They just go after Finnegas. Bully! What? Protect me. What? I've got to do something else now? I've got the key. All you've done is just kill a weird goblin thing

and stand in lightning. So, Finnegas, roll initiative for me. I've got to find the creature. Twelve for me. Let's see who's going first. Are they animated art? They are not, no. You're going first.

So there are three of these statues that are like... I'm going to put the key... No, it's just on its own. It's like a small brass little key. I'm going to pocket that. Okay. I say to Bertie, if you don't protect me, you're not getting any treasure. I just want to get out of here. Shit.

I'm going to put my shiv and face the looser's thing. Maybe back up. You're like, back up to the far wall. Yeah, yeah. We need to get out of here. Okay. Finally. The rest of you, do you want to do anything? These things don't look like they're going to attack

you. I'll go on the... So there's a door at the end. Yes. Is it like a grate or any... Or is it a solid door? It's a solid door. There's no window. Any holes in the door? Maybe a keyhole? What about... I rolled a four, by the way.

On what? Initiative. I mean, I'm not taking initiative from you three, because unless you want to start fighting it, these things are going to ignore you. All right. Mercy! Get the key from him! Is that the only way out? Yes!

Okay, cool. I rolled a four. So I'm, like, bottom of initiative. Okay, so, Finnegas, you back yourself up, and these statues advance on you. One goes to bite you 20 to hit yes That's so wrong guys you're gonna take another four points of damage Then it's gonna try and hit you with a 13 to hit you

Minus 13. Yeah That's gonna be another four points of damage second one comes up to you that's a 13 to hit you 6 points of damage god this is this is a massacre

another 7 points of damage next one is a natural critical hit on the third guard wall that's gonna be 6 that's

10 points of damage 1 HP what and then that's 6 points of damage these things just tear Finnegan's apart just like HP. What? And then that's six points of damage.

These things just tear Finnegan apart. And as soon as he's dead, his body hits the ground, the key just bounces out of his hand, and these things just go up and take their forms back at it. And this glass chest is just waiting before you. And you're dead. I'll take the catch sheet, please. I mean, goodbye. Go!

Get the key! Oh, sure. Okay, fine. I could just smash the door. Eh. Whatever works for you, mate. I'll go forward and pick up the key. Okay.

Yeah, you look at the key. It doesn't look like the right... The door doesn't look like it needs a key to open. Yeah, you look at the key. It doesn't look like the right... The door doesn't look like it needs a key to open. There's no actual keyhole, like now that you're looking at it. There's no keyhole on the door. It's just a flat metal door with like a small handle.

The key looks probably more like it fits the chest. I'll go open the chest. Okay. Yeah, you open the chest. Yeah. Click. Opens. Inside, you find the following. Would you like. Opens. Inside you find the following.

Would you like to write it down? Yes, I would. 2,000 gold. Yes! A pair of magical boots. Yay! I got shoes! A magical staff. And a magical helmet. Man!

Now how the hell did we get out of here? I mean, do you want to... Yeah, what do you want to do? Like, you've got these three items. You can look at it, like, you can see the door. What's the plan? Hey, I look at all these things I got! Yeah, do you guys... You can take a look at the movie if you guys want? No.

Okay, well it's up to Bertie if he lets you, I suppose. I did, like, all the work. Like, all of it. He even told you where to go. Yeah, other than that, I, like, smashed a wall. Yes. I caused a distraction. I got you guys in the room.

I'm just a bloody corpse. So you can hear, like, scrabbling, and you can begin to hear probably from far down in the corridor. It sounds like they might be moving the stone out of the way into the corridor. Out, Taurus. Argue later. What? Yeah, okay, yeah.

I mean, I'll... I guess if I've got pockets on the prison thing, I doubt it. You can probably, like, take off the, like, top of the prison thing and bundle the coins in it. I suppose I've got the pillow thing. You could put the... Yeah, you could take that off. You could put the boots on, the helmet on, and hold the staff.

Like, if you literally have all those things. Hell yeah. Then you don't do it. Okay. As soon as you put the things on, you know what they do. Oh. This is part of, like, the Mad Mages thing. So you now are equipped with boots of flying.

Oh, my God. A staff of the spider. And a helm of teleportation. What? Would he... The magic of as he puts it on he hears this voice

go Congratulations! You found a treasure hoard in uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh did it. You've won Boots of Flying. Yeah. A staff of the spider. What? The helm of teleportation. I don't know what that is. This is how they work. Who are they

talking to? It tells you the command word. I don't know. It tells you what they do. So the boots of flying, you can activate them. They give you an hour of flight once per day. The staff of the spider, you can use it to cast web or spider climb. It has a number of charges. I will give you the items for these because you're keeping these, Bertie. Nice! The helm

of teleportation. It currently only has one charge. You cast the spell teleport, which is you and up to eight creatures can teleport to a location you know. What? A location I know? Yes! And I know this. Yes! I'd like to

teleport to the yawning portal. And just you? Well, hang on. I would like to roll a dice toawning portal and just you well hang on I would like to roll a dice to see how many people I take with me what would that be is it like to figure it realize that you could take them with you or is this like cuz it but you could just choose to take them with him if you wanted could we roll a check is to see if we can figure out what the fuck you have no like you two are just like he puts the stuff on, he's like, huh! Oh, yeah! Nice!

Big boy! Yeah? Who are you talking to? The guy. What guy? The guy. The one that's staying... They found a tunnel! Looks like they went down this way!

It looks very nice, Bertie, but we need to move. We need to get out of here now. They're coming for us. I mean, we can go through the door. I can make a web or I can fly. Oh, hey, I can teleport What as soon as I hear that? I'm going to put them all okay into a giant rat. Okay and

Crawl somewhere on Bertie. What? You can't really climb it you like grab on his leg as this giant rat. I just try and nestle. You watch as this woman just goes into a giant rat. Oh, hey! She can teleport too, and now there's a rat there. And then I'm just going to climb into your clothing and just like... Okay. But that teleport would be very handy right now. This way!

These traitors will fear the day they face Warden Ironfang. Oh, God. We need to leave. I'm going to pull the rat out and say, I'm naming you Nerman, too. And then I'll teleport away and take everyone with you. Yeah, sure.

And you'll teleport to the Yawning Portal. We're teleporting straight to the Yawning Portal. So you hear a... And the three of you vanish and you immediately appear in a warm safe tavern there is a kind of huh from the bomb and these big land chops like I really don't appreciate people teleporting in here but I saw Newman who technically not really a worm either. Great. I don't really want a rat in my pub. Could you get rid of it somehow?

Oh, okay, um... There's a big, like, pit next to you, like the big well. What?! You want to put it down there? Yeah, it's a rat. I don't want that disgusting thing in my tavern. I'm gonna polymorph back! Ah, it's a were-rat!

So this, yeah, you're just suddenly holding this... Yeah, because you can hear this guy. Like, in wear out form, you still understand what he's saying. So, like... He's been holding a woman now. Where's Norman gone? Sceva doesn't want to go in the pit! I wasn't going to put you in the pit.

They wanted me to put Norman in there. Norman, too. Norman? Um, yeah, at this point, yeah, you are currently out of the prison. Where the hell is everyone else, by the way? I don't know, Bertie, but you did a fantastic job. Would you spare lending me ten gold so I can buy myself a beer? Oh, yeah, sure, you can take, like, all of it.

Do you just give, you give Vorgin two grand? I don't want to do it with this money. Warden, give him... So, Vorgin, you? I don't want to do a bit of money. Warden. So, Vorgin, you now have 2,000 gold. That's fantastic. He hands you this bulging pile of coins. Skiba was meant to kill you. I give Skiba half.

I give her 1,000. You give her 1,000 gold. Skiba's not going to kill you. Yeah. With this money, you can both basically buy, like, new identities, new clothing. You can easily escape.

Durnan, the owner of the tavern, is looking at you because you're clearly in prison, Garb. You're a warden. Just kind of like, it's like, give me 200 gold. I'll forget that you were here.

100 from you, 100 from you. Eh, sure. It's been a long day. He takes 100 gold. He's like, get out of my tavern. 100 from you, 100 from you. Eh, sure. It's been a long day. He takes 100 gold. He's like, get out of my tavern. Just like, get out. Wait a minute. Steve, thanks, you.

200 gold. That's what Aquamumba's going to give me for the thing. Hey, can I have some of that back? I'm already out the door. I know, he's going to want it. I'm going to give Bertie a quick, quick kiss on the cheek. Bertie! And then run out.

Her kiss, it stinks. Like, her breath is gross. A bit rough. And I'm going to start looking down the well. Yeah, just look down. Trying to find Nerman too. And I think that's where we'll end Bertie's big break. Yay, and I got a load of treasure!

We're going to equip to the nines with magic items. So your helmet of teleportation regains 1d3 charges each morning. Each morning? 1d3? So that was partially used? Yeah, basically it had partially used. And I'll give you your other items. You're dead! I did three death saving throws.

I got a natural 20 and a 17. Really? So actually, as they're teleported away, you would literally come back to life as the warden's like, there's one of to cover us forever where he is he does not have a fun time oh no um i kind of like it because it's like benny from the mummy like i'm to get the treasure first no like you'll get yours Benny you're going to get yours

yeah and I think yeah we can just wrap things up there and have a little chat about that like how did you guys want that oh it was

oh the grung man so I felt a bit because I was obviously because you got the guard I was like I've got to find ways to make sure it was

really clever that you were like look I'm going to join up with you guys because that was a good way of making sure that you weren't like you know I guard, I was like, I've got to find ways to make sure. It was really clever that you were like, look, I'm going to join up with you guys, because that was a good way of making sure that you weren't like... I'm going to die. It's either I'm going to die or I can team up with them. But yeah, that was a lot of

like, coming up with random NPCs and just dumb plot points and stuff. And all that treasure I rolled randomly. So I was just like, I'm going to roll random treasure, and then boop, and then just thought, I'm going to put that in the chest. So the goblin, if you hadn't killed him, he was just like, I'm going to roll random treasure and then boop, and then just thought I'm going to put that in the chest. So the goblin, if you hadn't killed him, he was just going to give you a riddle

and be like, solve my riddle and I'll give you the key! He just straight up murdered him! Could we have the riddle? Yeah, you can have the riddle. Yeah, I'll read it out. So the riddle was I come with a smile in the slaughter I rest. I can be contagious, but my medicine is best, what am I?

So you have a think on that. Come with a smile. I come with a smile, in slaughter I rest, I can be contagious, but my medicine is best, what am I? And if you don't get it in the next few minutes, I'll tell you the answer. Okay, well, I have no idea. No idea? Laugh. Laughter. There's something to do with a smile and a laugh.

Laughing gas or something. Yeah, so I come with a smile. In slaughter I rest. I can be contagious, but my medicine is best. The Joker. A joke? So you say a joke. Rhi? It's something like laughter.

It's something like laughter, yeah. Laughter? Yeah. Laughter was the correct answer. Yeah, it was laughter. In slaughter, laughter is obviously in slaughter. Yeah, I come with a smile.

I can be contagious. Laughter is contagious. And my medicine is best. Laughter is the best medicine. Bam. Bam. So, boom. So, yeah,

so you would have got that. And, yeah, that was a chance for me To just do a bunch of dumb voices Yeah Holy crap You got that off your chest now Let me find the other NPCs

Can we have the grung again? Me me me Me me me So the other characters I had Was Glinda Blazebrows Which is a female duergar Who was like a really sassy female duergar I had

Miguel of Flemington because I asked Mike Fleming for a name for a D&D character and he said call it Mike Flemington. I was like no. So I had Miguel of Flemington. He was a member of the Cyric, the Skull Boys. Which I'm sad this NPC didn't come out because all three of you

would have played this amazingly. I had Burgle Gurp the Bollywug. didn't come out because all three of you would have played this amazingly. I had Burglgerp the Bollywug. Bollywug. And his little description I wrote for you guys because he had a little description was

Burglgerp not sure why in Stonehouse. Burglgerp just want to see big village with pretty light. Burglgerp hungry. Burglgerp not like anyone in his land in Stonehouse. And it was basically yeah he was just an innocent Bollyelgut not like anyone in his land in Stonehouse and it was basically yeah he was just an innocent Bollywood that was like thrown in prison

me and him would have gone along famously the funny thing is why I was laughing so much when I got Sceva the were-rat was that literally we were talking yesterday about someone might even get a rat and I was literally going to ask you did the rat make it?

Yeah you did in a way it was just a were-rat Well that was a really fun little session actually a little one short session I thought

it was quite funny So what would next week's be? So well I think next week as far as the rest of the party is concerned they still have to

try and get Bertie out and it took Bertie two days to escape so I think that this is going to be the rest of the gang going and trying

to get a favour from one of their patrons or from somebody in the city to try and get Bertie free but it's a waste of time because

Bertie's escaped so that's the fun part of these kind of narratives and I think Tom will have you just play an NPC yeah okay

so you'll get a fun NPC to play yeah just throw anything at me yeah he'll probably have a dumb voice so that'll be us Bertie's work G just throw anything at me yeah he'll probably have a dumb voice so that'll be us

the burly work gub burly work maybe burly work somehow got got released on parole yeah aww

he's making his way through so we'll be back next week but then after next week there is going to be a two week break of no ropes

gambit because I'm going away to Japan so there's going to be a little break from that but yeah we'll be back next week Rhiannon thank you so much

for joining in thank you for having me no absolute pleasure that. But yeah, we'll be back next week. Rhiannon, thank you so much for joining in. Thank you for having me. No, absolute pleasure. We'll be back. Kate, you'll be back next week.

And we'll be back with more Rogues Gambit. You can check out more awesome D&D content here on the D&D Twitch channel. I think it's Dragon

Talk coming up next with Greg Tito and the D&D team. You can check that out. You can check us out, as I said, on our regular live stream,

which is every Sunday at 5pm UK time over on twitch.tv forward slash highrollers D&D or twitch.tv forward slash Yogscast

don't forget to check out Idol Champions earn us some more dice of which I get these next week so how many is this that I get that's 5

10 11 another 11 for me so I'm going to get those next week and yeah check out Idol Champions play it it's a really fun game don'm going to get those next week and yeah check out Idol Champions play it's a really fun game

don't forget to get your gold chest we'll see you later yeah what's that code it was a wild elf barbarian wild elf barbarian so do that

check that out thanks very much for joining us we'll see you next time enjoy bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye our texts aren't there they can do it. Just keep saying bye. Bye. We're going to go.

Eventually we'll be gone. We're going. We are going. We're going. We're going into the ether. Look at us go. Bye. Please.

Please let us leave. Hey everyone. Hope you enjoyed this special one-off episode. Also, I hope you're enjoying Idol Champions of the Forgotten Realms. There's links in the description of this episode so you can join in on the fun. Next week will be another spin-off style episode where I'll pick a new character We'll see you then.