High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: A Rogue's Gambit #6 | The ISTAR Trials

Episode Date: October 13, 2018

Thanks to Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms and Dungeons and Dragons for sponsoring this series! More information below! In order to gain the help from the Silverhand the party must complete a small quest in Acquisition Incorporated's ISTAR Facility! Check out Idle Champions here - https://bit.ly/2MJSdYy - to earn us those valuable D6s... we need all the help we can get. All you need to do is play the game! We're playing the brand new Waterdeep: Dragon Heist module! More information here: https://bit.ly/2JdEX8M Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Hello everyone, welcome back to High Rollers.

Welcome back to A Rogue's Gambit, our 11-episode miniseries set in Waterdeep for the brand new Dragon Heist module. This series is sponsored by Idol Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Jump in and play the game to earn us some D6s that Kim will probably use the lion's share of. The party of three, missing Bertie, the Stone of Galore, walked right out the door. They've now hit rock bottom,

their victory forgotten, but the watery snake now has a hot take, reforming the band to visit the Silverhand. What I'm trying to say is the guys go visit a contact to get some help on their quest. Anyway, let's play A Rogue's Gambit. Let me set a few things up with a little bit of a recap.

Last week, it was a special episode. Bertie, played by Tom Hazel normally, was arrested and taken to prison. Scale breaker prison. High security, maximum prison, deep beneath Waterdeep City itself, where he had to navigate a series of gangs, a corrupt warden,

and his own larcenous cellmates, but eventually managed to escape. But the rest of the party doesn't know that. The rest of the party, after failing to infiltrate Graalhund Villa and either secure the location of the key point of contact you had, Zardazord, or locate the Stone of Galore, which Aquamber briefly held for a moment. We located it. You relocated it.

However, a construct ran off with it into somewhere in the city that you are unable to track. You are currently left without really much hope. One of your members of the party is missing, is arrested. You have since learned that Bertie is being held in Scalebreaker Prison, the hardest prison or the most difficult, renowned prison in Waterdeep. You don't know where the Stone of Galore has gone. You don't have any clues or information about its whereabouts. Your contact to Zardazord, Yala Graalhund,

has vanished. And you find yourselves at a bit of a loss. You've reconvened at the Yawning Portal. Your missing agent, Fleur, has regrouped with you, having had to desperately avoid the authorities in the city who were pursuing

her across the city for the last couple of days. You have reconvened at the Yawning Portal to discuss your next steps, really. Before we carry on, does anybody want to reach out to a contact that they have for any assistance? Yes, absolutely. Yes.

I'd like to reach out to Mr. Waterdeep. Mr. Waterdeep. And ask him for the key to the city. Sorry, do you... No, I don't. I left my contact at my desk. So, I'd like to contact this person, please. Janice De Silva, mate.

Okay, I didn't know if it was a secret or not. Yep. You've just said the name. I've just said the name. Back up. I'm city admin. City admin. Politics and spycraft are their specialties.

So how do you reach out? Do you send like an encoded message? Do you try and visit him in his offices at the heart of Waterdeep? How does Aquamumber, secret agent, monk, branding expert. How does he contact Jalus the Silvermane? I pay somebody in

the Yawning Portal. Hopefully they'll send a message to the right person. Okay, so you're going to pay somebody to deliver a message to Jalus the Silvermane. Might be a little drunk as well. Okay, so it's like a hastily please help. Lost the stone. Might be a little drunk as well. Okay, so it's like a hastily, please help. Lost the stone, please fix. Okay, okay.

It's within about three hours or so, you've kind of been discussing what to do, you've been drinking your sorrows away, when a very handsome man, silvery hair, although he's not old, he still has like greyed silver hair, in a very delicate silver breastplate, very fine looking clothes, rapier at his side,

arrives at the yawning portal and gives the three of you a bit of a sort of like nod at this point. I'm off my tits drunk. Okay. That will go well. I'm ranting at the team, just saying the following. As leader of this team...

I've been doing this for hours. As leader of the team, I'm very disappointed in all of your participation in losing the stone. Want an arm wrestle? Yeah. Getting Birdie lost in prison. He's probably dead now. So then, have an arm wrestle while you're just ranting away. I lost my wife

four years ago. Today. It's the anniversary of your wife. It wasn't my fault she died. Wow. I'm just saying. At this point, the silvery-haired man

kind of coughs behind the table. As for you... Oh. Aquamumba, I assume. Yes. Mr. Silverman. Yes, it is good to see you again. I trust that these are your companions.

Good day, mate. They used to be. Well, I have an opportunity for the three of you, if you would care to follow me. A very important figure in the city wishes to speak with you Can you bring him here? She would not be coming to an association like this, I'm afraid What's wrong with the Yawning Portal?

Let's just say it is not fitting to someone of her station Can I bring my drink, at least? No Down the drink It's all gone I have a carriage waiting outside for you if you wish to follow me No. Down the drink. It's all gone. I have a carriage waiting outside for you, if you wish to follow me. Do it. He's a good man.

Any gestures? I think I asked for a favor. I can't remember. You did. Okay, then I did. Absolutely. Oddly, I trust him more than you right now. That is very wise, my dear Tiefling. If we've not been introduced, Jallister Silvermane, I work with the Silver Hand to administer the city. Fleur.

He bows. Pleasure. His Silver Hand is in many pockets. That is a common phrase, but it's not entirely untrue. Step with me. And he leads you out to a carriage, and you are taken into the heart of the richest area in Waterdeep, the dockside, where there is a large citadel kind of keep

that sits on the cliffs and overlooks the rest of the city. You are taken inside and much to the kind of horror of nobles and well-to-do merchants, you see this filthy goblin. He's eating chips. He's just eating a bag of chips, sure. Potato chips, not like chip chips.

What? We don't have chip chips in the store. It's like sliced crisps of potato, but they're hot like chips. Is there salt and vinegar on them? Yes. That's fine. As well as a little side pocket attached to the holder,

which is like a fish sauce, like a tartar sauce. Okay. Yeah, nice. Okay. When you're done with the bag, can I have it? No, I might need the bag as well. I need to... Is that a goblin eating a bag?

Brian comes out from some very large nobleman, and he's ushered away briefly. Yeah, it is, you twat. Please, Mr. Boomer, if you wouldn't mind keeping your voice down. I'm a growing boy. Gotta eat my veg. I have no problem with you consuming this street fare in the halls of Waterdeep, but please don't harass the nobles. He's harassing me first.

That's why he's been taken away. Oh, nice. Yes. Anyway, before he leads you up to a kind of antechamber with a very ornate door, part of a buttress, like a buttress-like tower. Before we enter, I would advise you to show the utmost respect to the woman you're about to meet. Not because of her position, simply because she could quite literally incinerate you where you stand. She is a very powerful wizard. I'd love to see that.

I'm covered in explosives. You really don't, Mr. Boomer a very powerful wizard. I'd love to see that. I'm covered in explosives. You really don't, Mr. Boomer. I assure you. Yes, just to highlight that, though. Can we stand at some distance from... I'll take all you with me. Yes, you can stand wherever you wish. Exactly for this reason.

Yes, of course. I quite like your spunk. He waves his hand and the doors open by themselves. And inside sat a very regal looking white wooden desk with beautiful kind of curtains, silver, treasures, kind of like candelabras and vases and all that kind of stuff around, looking out of a window out onto the city of Waterdeep.

You see a woman, she must have been around her like mid-30s, platinum silver hair, not white, but actual silver hair, dressed in very regal clothes. There is a long white staff, the tip of which is a crystal, which is just blazing in silvery fire, just kind of rests, kind of floating nearby. And she looks up.

Ah, Jallister, I assume that these are the ones you mentioned yes silver hand these are indeed the Harper's that we are aware of working in the city ladies and gentlemen may I introduce to you lariel silver hand the current open Lord of water deep ruler of the city any gestures inside I must go and fetch someone else, but I will leave you to discuss matters with the silver hand. I don't need to worry for her safety. She could quite literally kill all

three of you. And then he just... Why do people keep making a point of that? What are we going to do? I'm going to stand quite far from Boomer. Okay, yeah, you move away from Boomer. Come on, buddy! Maybe move Aquamumba between... I'm using Boomer to prop me up right now. Okay, you move away from Boomer. Come on, buddy! Maybe move Aquamumber between them. Yeah. I'm using Boomer to prop me up

right now. Okay, you're, like, leaning on him. Because I am stumble-drunk. Okay. Oh, you stink, mate. Thank you. Thank you for the compliance of both of you. Oh, dear. I'm afraid that that simply won't do. She waves her hand, and she will cast Greater Restoration on Aquamumber,

instantly removing your drunkness. What have I done? Do you feel a little better? I feel terrible. Well, I'm afraid I can't help with that. With regret instead of alcohol. This is a terrible, terrible vice to sustain yourself to. Anyway, I did not bring you here for a hangover cure.

I have been come to learn to understand that you have recently had some troubles within the city. One of your companions has been arrested, and you are currently, well, at a bit of a loss with regards to a certain cache of dragon gold. That poor boy. That poor Goliath boy. He's a very

simple man, okay? Well, I have learned of the individual called Bertie. He is being held in Scalebreaker Prison. I have the ability to have him removed from the prison and reunited with you, if that's something that

will interest you. Alive? Yes, of course. Of course alive. I can also help you with your other problem. Locating this stone, I believe. I mean, yeah, I almost had it. It was in my clutches

and, you know, I got distracted by doing some martial arts and in my age, you know, I pull a few muscles. I imagine a halfling of your age would have some difficulties in a few things. Excuse me. What?

She just smirks a little bit. Sorry, did I... Is your hearing okay? She said your twit. She'll incinerate us where we stand, right? I am, of course, just joking. Right.

Very funny. Very funny. I'm told that by many people. What isn't funny is the stone's gone, and I want it back. Very well. Well, obviously the city of Waterdeep has a great interest in finding this cache of gold.

The Harpers are assisting, you've been hired to effectively help us anyway. There is, with regards to your criminalised friend, we are more than happy to help, but there is something I need you to do for me. At this point, Jalister returns and he returns with

a young gnome, quite young. Do you want to describe what you look like, Tom Hanks? Oh my god. He's a very small gnome in a robe that is way too big for him um like the sleeves are folded over over the edges of his hands and he's like walking out it's like a halfling i guess halflings are bigger than gnomes aren't they uh no half halflings and gnomes are about the same size yeah okay well it's like he's still like he's a young gnome he's a young gnome. He's probably still wearing an adult's robe.

Yeah, an adult robe on him. And he has barely got whiskers of a very classic wizarding gnome's moustache. He's got a very tiny one. I feel like what you've got now. Yeah, thanks. And he is coming out and he's got the widest eyes. And he's very silent, waiting to be... Well, Janister kind of ushers you forward.

Silver Hand, this is... What was your name again, young man? My name is Tugglebuck Candlecoop. What now? Mr. Candle... Mr. Tugglebot Candlecoop. Tugglebuck! Ah, my apologies.

Tugglebuck. Tugglebuck Candlecoop. Tugglebuck. Ah, my apologies. Tugglebuck. Tugglebuck Candlecoop. That's the one. He is the young adventurer who wished to apply for the Greyhands and is willing to assist us with this matter as well. Ah, excellent. Then all of you are assembled. Are these the guys?

These have got to be the guys. These are the people that will be accompanying you if they agree to the request I have. We swapped a huge Goliath man for a tiny man. You knew a Goliath? I'm the tallest person in this room and I'm not... I'm going to go up to him.

What's happening? Why is everybody shrinking? My team is small. You are like this one tall, tiefling, elegant lady with a giant sniper rifle and three small, like a halfling, a gnome and a goblin. Am I running a crash? Like Gulliver's Traps. When Aquamumba comes close to me, his eyes widen.

It's like, wait a minute. He's green, he's so green. That hair, that sideways face, I know you. What do you mean? I've heard of you. You must be the famous spy Aquamumba. Oh, shit. I get this a lot,

my lady. Oh, you should have heard the operations he's been on. One time he had to break into a manor and he used a sewage system. It was amazing. He climbed up the toilets. He likes being in toilets. He does. Is that really the story you heard? Yeah, it's the only thing I hear. I didn't climb the toilets. He likes being in toilets. He does. Is that really the story you heard? Yeah, it's the only

thing I hear. I didn't climb the toilets. What? I did not go in the sewer system. Oh. You will not be communicating that story ever again. Are you trying to control what he's thinking? No. Sorry, have I insulted you? Pushing in a blood vessel.

Before I will alert you, get back to the business of discussing Aquamember's previous exploits, but I should give you the circumstances that I would require your assistance with first, and then on your route to the location, you can discuss these sort of things as you wish. Tell me, have any of you heard of an organisation called Acquisitions Incorporated before?

Have we? Have we? Have we? Have you? Have you? Yes, I have. Aquamumber. Ring the bell. You and Fleur seem to be the only ones.

Mr. Boomer, Mr. Candlecoop, for your information, Acquisitions Incorporated is a... They began as a group of adventurers that have expanded their exploits quite rapidly over the last few years. They now control a sizable enterprise across the entire Sword Coast. They have operations in Baldur's Gate, here in Waterdeep, even some remote villages such as Red Larch, where they're creating sister teams. They are something of an enigma. They're a monopoly. They are something of an enigma.

They're a monopoly. They are. Their branding is very obtuse, I will say. They have been involved in many endeavors that have helped the city, but there are concerns. There are rumors of necromancy, demon summoning, creating war machines, magical experiments, this sort of thing. Doesn't surprise me. And we need to know if they can be trusted.

Now we are aware that they have a facility, something called ISTAR, here in Waterdeep. I would like a group of people that, and I will be quite frank, are unrelated to my administration and are expendable to go and investigate. What was that last thing administration and are expendable. What was that last thing? You're expendable. Expensive. She has a point. I have a point. To me, you are expendable.

But I am more than happy to reward you, both financially and with the return of your companion if you endeavour to look into this Istar facility. I'm just going to get chip crumbs everywhere, rumbling to myself. Indeed. Spendable. We don't have much information to go on.

We know that several young adventurers have entered the Istar facility, but they have not returned, and I have been loath to send any experienced agents into it, Hence, you coming at a quite fortuitous time. I can give you the location of the facility and we simply ask that you investigate it, see it through to completion, and tell us, report back on whether Acquisitions Incorporated can be trusted. Alright. Stop nodding.

That sounds amazing! Where does this one come into this plan? This one has put in a request to join the Greyhands, a very famous adventuring group. You may know them as Force Grey. We need to ensure that adventurers are of a suitable caliber before we begin that process.

So Mr. Campbell Coop will be joining you for this mission, and I would like to hear back on his abilities. I've been sat on the bench for so long. I've been listening to the tales of Force Gray and Acquisitions Incorporated. They're real fun. Real fun. We would prefer that all of you return unharmed, of course.

Just a general query. If he should get into trouble... We would like to see Mr. Candlecoot return to us, yes. So he's not expendable, isn't he? Well, you are all, four of you, expendable, but I mean that in relation to me.

To each other, I would recommend... Mr. Candlecoop is a wizard. He has some arcane abilities. He has been trained in the arcane arts. He should be useful. You've been on the bench for a while, you say? Well, I've been applying for mission after mission, but they just won't put me on anything.

But now finally, yeah, I've been practicing like crazy. Watch this. And I'll get a mage hand out and just wave at her. See? This spectral glowing action begins waving at you. Brilliant. Shocking grasp. Thank you for the demonstration.

Look at all the things I can do. Well. Okay. There we go. Investigate the facility? Yes, Mr. Ackermumber. Before we go any further, let's talk about the real business here. Right.

How much are we getting? And what's my split? You will be paid a reasonable amount, and your companion will be released from prison. And also, we can also assist you with locating the Stone of Galore. I have many spies. By the time you return, I should have some information on where the stone is currently located. I don't mean to be rude, but... I think you probably do mean to be rude. I absolutely do. How much?

Shall we say... Well, I will give you a choice. It's a flexible amount. You can each have a thousand gold or I will provide you with a magical relic from my personal armories from when I was an adventurer. Each? Yes, you will have an item each. A magical relic

could be anything. It could be something worth a thousand gold. You will have a range of choices. I will not give you my most powerful artifacts, but I will make sure that there is a suitable selection for you to pick from. Or a thousand gold in hard coinage.

I'd like a trinket. You can decide that when you return. I can always sell it afterwards. Yes, you can decide that when you return. One each. I'll take his as well. No, Mr. Camelcoop will keep his own. I've always wanted one. Is there any fee for babysitting?

Yes. No. I'm sending him as an asset to you. Like I said, he has magical abilities. He should prove useful. I'm very capable. I do not believe you currently have anyone with spellcasting abilities on your team. I think you'll find. I absolutely do. Oh no, you are a practitioner of sorts, abilities on your team. I think you'll find. I

absolutely do. You are a practitioner of sorts, Mr. Aquamumber. I believe Mr. Campbell Cooper is more powerful in the arcane arts. I can blow things up. Indeed you can. And I'm real good at arm wrestling. I have heard.

Want to go? No. Also, I would win. I now want to see this. Perhaps another time. I'm heard. Want to go? No. Also, I would win. I now want to see this. But perhaps another time. I'm busy. Jallister, please see our four adventuring friends out and give them the location of the facility. Of course, my lady, yes.

Please. Three adventurers and an intern. Thank you. Very well. And you are led away. If you have any questions, you can ask Jalister, but if not, you are taken to the facility as it is located. How dead are we?

Are you asking this to Jalister? I don't imagine that you will be that dead. This is what we believe to be a... I mean, it is Acquisitions Incorporated. They're not displayed outright evil acts. We are just concerned that they may be up to something. Doesn't surprise me. The bigger they get

the more corrupt they get. There is a concern that their rapid growth has certainly caused some concern but I think you will be fine. You are capable, I am assuming? Absolutely. Look at this guy. Yeah. You are capable, I'm assuming? Absolutely. Look at this guy. Yeah. Indeed.

Also, I know so many adventures. I've been reading about them all the time. Maybe we find like a, maybe there'll be a dragon. Maybe we'll go into a dungeon. Maybe there'll be loads of gold. Maybe there'll be like a horde of undead that have been raised by a big evil... Do you know the silence spell? No. It's a shame.

It goes like this. Hold your breath for as long as you can. Blissful. Well, anyway. Any other questions? If not, what's our time limit? Eventually, like... Keep going.

I'm assuming that you will want to complete the mission as quickly as possible to see your friend returned. Absolutely. Very well. There was some vested interest in him. Here we are. And he gestures to a dark alley in an old, dilapidated part of Waterdeep.

The facility is located just down there. Are you providing any supplies? No. Excellent. Thank you. Cheers supplies? No. Excellent. Thank you. Cheers, Jeeves. I'm just going to leave my chip packet on the floor of the carriage. He looks down at it.

I thought you were going to eat it. Chamber manifold. He, like, mage hands it up, throws it out the window. You wanted it previously. Yeah, I was going to throw up in it. I no longer need that service. There you go. Yeah, you head out into this alleyway and it all you see is like a long dark alleyway there are a couple of

dilapidated like buildings most of them look abandoned but at the far end of the alleyway next to a dead end there is a sturdy looking wooden door with a bronze plaque kind of half hidden by some shrubbery and that's it and that seems to be the only functional building all right blunderbuss candle cup or whatever it is I don't care with toggle butt candle cool yeah what's the first rule of approaching a new scenario okay so well we need to determine what's inside. We need to approach it using all of our varied skills and expertises.

I'm just going to walk up to the plaque and read it. Yeah, the plaque says, it reads, Intern Selection Training and Ranking Facility. Yeah, sounds like it's a job for him. Yeah, go knock on the door. What, me? Yeah. It says intern, and you are an intern.

I don't know, he's... The rest of us are going to skedaddle, but we'll be observing. I mean, you guys have been on so many adventures. See you later. Bye. Okey-dokey. In the deep end, what a deep end. Doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop-doop. So when you knock,

the door just swings open and leads into a small room. He didn't die. There's no traps. Perfect. Door's open. He hasn't walked in yet. There might still be something. Go on in.

Okay. Yeah, when you head in, Tuggle Buck, it's a small... We've got a backup character. It's a small windowless room with wooden chairs, a pair of wooden desks. There is a tall stand full of papers and a stone wall with a metal turnstile cage built into it. The turnstile has a small metal slot. Turnstar has a small metal slot.

There is also a sign placed on the wall that reads, Please insert signed waiver and intern application fee into the slot below. And you can see that now that the paper on the shelf, they're all waiver forms. Pre-written that states that anything that happens to you whilst within the IsTAR facility is not the responsibility of Acquisitions Incorporated. They will not be held liable for any damages to you suffered during the process. Very lots of legal speak. And then there's just a thing for you to sign at the bottom of it.

And there is the right, the two desks have got like pens and pencils. I guess I'm just yelling all of that. Yeah, this is what I can see. Here's all the things. There's like a stack of papers. You still there? No one said nothing about paperwork.

I ain't doing it. Guys, you still there? I'll hand over paperwork. I don't like my name being written down or anything like that. Lawyers. I'd have curiosity. Is there a silent spell? I wish.

Damn. I could hit him upon the head until he shuts up. Hey, I've already written your names down. Okay, I'm going in. So you've got four and you've written all their names down. Okay. I'm ready to put them in. I can do it.

Wait. Could we knock him out and stash him in a bush somewhere? That is a favourable suggestion. Can I sign my own, please? I mean, I know your signature so well. There you go. Why on earth? Why in Forgotten Realms would you do that?

When I'm right here? Technically, the name of the planet is Faerun. Faerun. Yeah. But yeah, it looks like the turnbuckle cage is the only way... The exit you can see is like a short corridor on the other side of the turnbuckle, of the turnstile. And there is a slot, probably for... looks like big enough for a gold coin. Oh, you want me to pay?

Yes. So you've got like 25 gold. I mean, I can... All of you? Yes. The price've got like 25 gold. I mean, I can... All of you? Yes. The price of a good tale! I'll put them all in. So you have to put the form in, and then the slot unlocks.

So you put your form in. How have you signed the form? I mean, I just put the names. You haven't signed it. I just put the names. Just put the names on there. So you feed your one in. You put the first gold coin in, signed it. I just put the names. Just put the names on there. So you feed your one in. You put the first gold coin in

and you hear a ka-chunk and then a little kind of little kind of like runic counter goes from ten to nine. It looks like it's ten gold for the application fee. A little problem.

Guys, the first step in an adventure. I've hit a trap. And by trap, I mean I don't have enough gold. I have literally none, and I'm not lying. Can you pick the lock? Come on, this is... Must be a nudge.

One on one. I mean... Why don't you try hitting it real hard? I'm not so good at hitting stuff. I mean, I could... Is there any way to get around the turnstile? No, it's like solid stone wall and then this metal turnbuckle cage.

Like, turnstile cage. A cage. Like, it's a cage. It's like, you know how you get insecure buildings? It's not just one you can hop over. It's like a full cage. I think outside the box. Can I...

Candlebrook. Look and see if there's windows outside. It's windowless. There's no windows. I flick my fingers and I misty step through. As soon as you go to bypass the thing, there's some sort of anti-magic field and you just...

That's a spell slot. Nice try. So you watch him go... Cloud of smoke. I'm writing all my details on this application form by casting a illusory script okay so I'm writing all my name and everything when you cast it with a spell it writes

and then the illusory script fades away and the piece of paper bursts into flame and you just get a like damn it I've got anti-magic up the wazoo in here piece of paper bursts into flame and you just get her like Damn it! I've got anti-magic up the wazoo in here. I don't like it, I don't like it. There's lawyers behind this, I'm

telling you. Yes, one lawyer in particular is behind this, yes. We're going to sell our usernames and whatnot. It's going to be awful. Boomer does not belong in a court of law. Boomer does not belong with lawyers. Do you want to put the rest of the nine gold in?

I'll put my nine gold in. So you put nine gold in. As soon as you put nine in and you feed the form in, you hear this, and a little token, like a little metal coin rolls out. On one side, it has a very stern,

bald half-elf. And on the other side, it has the Acquisitions Incorporated logo. And it looks like that fits into the turn style thing. Yes, very much so. it looks like that fits into the turn style um thing yes very much so uh it looks like that fits into the turn style slot okay think about it you got one yeah how do you make more you pay 10 gold you put your form in no how do we save money come on wizard, wizard. Can you not clone it? Can you not make... Come on. It's like looking at his belt.

Anti-magic. Minor illusion. Okay. Anti-magic. You just... Yeah, so you create this moment. You create an illusion of a coin. I want to save 10 gold.

As soon as you go and try to put the illusionary coin in, it just... It's not real, so it doesn't affect the system. Yeah, no, I don't know what to do. I don't know why you brought him along. Why did you bring him along? Is there anything else on the outside of the building? You can go outside. You start scanning around.

You can see that... What I would say you'd notice is that this building is like the dead end of the middle of a scummy-looking alleyway. But most of the buildings around it, they're all private buildings that have been boarded up. There's probably quite an expansive area, but it doesn't look like to me there's any windows.

But you also notice that there's a large park nearby that the facility kind of backs onto. So have you gone through the turnstile yet? Not yet. I'm trying to duplicate this coin. Right. I've got an idea, you little twit. Wow. Okay. I can't believe I've foiled you with a turn style I have no money I can't I can't I am not filling out any forms right name does not appear on any documents right therefore on thus you are going to get on my shoulders and

we are going to go through this together as one person I mean it might work get up there okay I'm gonna use your robe to, like, just... So you've got the draping, like, hanging of his robe you put over yourself. So you are effectively one wizard at this point. Okay. And then you're going to try and walk through? Yeah. Okay.

It works. It's a manual solution to a very manual problem. We've got a triple stack. Oh, sorry. As soon as the two of you go through, you notice that on the floor, in the corridor, there's the stairs leading down

and there is a metal grill and a voice comes out of the grill as soon as you step through. Thank you for participating in the ISTAR program. You may be held liable for damage to ISTAR facilities or employees.

Please keep in mind that your training process will be monitored for quality control and training purposes. We are not responsible for any lingering facilities or employees. Please keep in mind that your training process will be monitored for quality control and training purposes. We are not responsible for any lingering injuries or trauma. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, and there's a long list of disclaimers as it continues. I mean, if I get that, I can feel it.

The stairs lead down. It's been five. He's being lewd. I don't care. The child is being lewd. So yeah, but the Boomer and Tugglebuck are through. I'm going to stay like this.

It's a good disguise. I'm just like waving back and forth and trying to keep my balance. Wrapping your head against stuff and smell like, ow. I've lost all my health. So is Boomer on top? What?

So you're the legs and Tug of War's the top. Yeah, because I've got the long robe. The world's largest doctor. I don't want people to see me. I didn't sign the form. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so you're under the robe. I'm not here, mate.

It's got like little goblin legs, though. I can't see me. You can see your legs, your green legs. I can see little legs. What about the two of you? What are you going to do? I can't believe, of all my years as a professional spy, I have to work with this.

It's a good disguise. I'm going to just pay 10 gold. I don't have any money. Fine. 10 gold. Next. So you fill out a form. 470.

So you fill out a form. You pay your 10 gold. You get the little token. You go through. Flo, you pay 10 gold. Fill out a form. 470. So you fill out a form. You pay your 10 gold. You get the little token. You go through. Flo, you pay 10 gold. Fill out a form. I'm not going to fill out a form with the right name, though. So you put a fake name?

Yeah. Okay. Flo. That's getting a note. That is 100% a note. Fraud. Fraud. Same for you, Boomer, as well.

I'm not frauding nobody. You're fucking frauding. I'm a little wizard. So the four of you step through. You get the same voice. As soon as each one of you steps through the turnstile, this grating voice over this tannoy kind of echoes out. But there's a stone step, steps that lead down.

You take those steps down, and it leads to a wooden door that just seems to lead into another room. These big corporate companies, they have a token, which you literally see for three seconds before you put it in a slot and never see it again. Capitalism, right?

It doesn't need branding on it. Capitalism. It's terrible. And now there's necromancy. Great. Is this what it's like talking to me? You're real low down.

What? You're low down. You're looking down. You're the only one that says that your height is floor now. Oh man, this is good. Yeah, it's just a wooden door in front of you.

I'm also going to pass Tumble Buck. Sure? Tuggle Buck, yeah. So you push past him. I'm going to hand him a signed portrait of my face as a card. It's like a business card. There you go. Oh, it's my greatest possession!

Well, assuming we don't find anything real cool in here. Yep. I mean, that's cool, but... You're welcome. Thank you. Don't tell that story of the sewers ever again. Oh, I won't. There's some other great ones. I'm sure you know all of them.

Haven't heard him hey okay boomer when I go doop-a-doop-a-doop that's mr. Boomer to you mr. Boomer when I go doop-a-doop-a-doop you walk up and I'm gonna knock on that door doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop what I'll be so irritating I can't reach the door mr. Boomer I can't reach the door. Doop-a-doop-a-doop. Mr. Boomer, I can't reach the door. Is it nursery story time? You need to walk forwards. Please? Please.

Doop-a-doop-a-doop. I'm going to walk forward and just stop so his face just jerks into the door. So you just keep walking, basically. So as soon as you hit the door, it opens magically. It seems to just open on its own. The room ahead of you, you can see it's laid out like a tavern, there's a long bar many tables, a fireplace, a set of

stairs that leads up to an upper floor balcony there's a chandelier set into the roof which is the main lighting source and then there are training dummies set up at various points around the room there's two at the bar, four playing cards a musician by the fire and an innkeeper when Tug of War steps

inside, Boomer kind of like, your momentum takes you through the door, a voice calls out, interning with Acquisitions Incorporated is a rare and prestigious opportunity that requires more than just the ability to fight, perform magic, or disarm traps. Acquisitions Incorporated interns must also be able

to execute their duties with a certain degree of flair and style. In this room, you will demonstrate your ability to attack an enemy whilst using a catchphrase or signature style. You will be graded on originality and delivery. That's what it says. And is there a... what? And there's a training dummy. Yeah, this is just the room with the training dummies, the room I described earlier.

It looks like a tavern. There's all these fake training dummies made of straw and wood. Did he just say what I thought he said? Mr. Boomer, we need to work together on this one, okay? Oh, do we? Yes, we do, because otherwise I won't be able to do anything if I'm wobbling about all over the place. I mean, you could just get up.

There's people around. What? There's dummies. Oh, dummies. It's just training dummies. So, the voice said to do something with flair, right? I can do that. Uh-huh.

Wait, it needs a catchphrase, too. I don't have one of those. I haven't been on many adventures. I'll just test if there's anti-magic here by doing, like, a mage hand. Yeah, you can conjure a mage hand. I'd like to talk to customer service. Customer support. I'm not on railing this internship.

I need to get off rail. Just attack it and do your catchphrase. I feel claustrophobic. I don't like being guided. I need to go into a vent or something. Or a toilet. We'll see. Is there a vent? I'm looking around. The only thing you can see that's like a vent or something. Or a toilet. We'll assume. Is there a vent? I'm looking around.

The only thing you can see that's like a vent is like this tiny grill, like about this big. Like a letterbox. Wide enough for a... It's a letterbox. It's like a little metal grill. It's where the voice is coming from.

It's placed on lockdown. If that's where you want to go, I can help you out. What? What does that mean? I can... If you want to get in there. I don't know if it would make him small enough.

I think it's like, it's like half his size, so he'd still be like a foot. Oh, in all dimensions. Yeah, he'd be like a foot and a half high, then still bigger than a letterbox. It says, decreases the size by one category from medium to small. I'm already small. He's small. You'd become tiny, but that's like the size of a cat. So you'd still be too big

for a letterbox. But cats are liquid. Yeah, but you're not liquid. If you want to try. I mean, it doesn't sound like it's going to work. No, don't touch me. Okay. So yeah, I guess it's over with. There's just this room. There's a chandelier.

There's the fireplace, the dummies, the bar. So we've got to hit the... There's no more voice. Hit the dummies with the spells with There's just this room There's a chandelier There's the fireplace The dummies The bar So we gotta hit the There's no more voice The spells There's no more voice And I'm talking like an old person Talking about technology

Hello So we gotta Tell me again what we gotta do Wasn't listening Hey we gotta hit one of the target dummies With a catchphrase Alright And flare

I don't have a catchphrase Suck my gnarled ginger root Boom Mage hand Or you just Backhanded Or something Yeah okay yeah You hear like a And flare. I don't have a catchphrase. Suck my gnarled ginger root. Boom. Mage hand. Or you just slap it or something. Yeah, okay, yeah. You hear like a... So what did you say?

Suck my gnarled ginger root. There is a ding, like a ding, as soon as you hit it. And then there is a kind of whirring sound. Not bad. Can use work. What do you mean can use work? Tell me again And then on the

There is a door like behind the bar And there are four lights There's like a set of runestones And one of them lights up Oh hey so it's for the rest of I thought your catchphrase was Aquamumba What? It's just Aquamumba

Not Aquamumba I thought you signed it Don't give me the details Come on But you signed it Aquamumba didn't you? Well I had to to get in but you signed it. Don't give me the details. Come on. But you signed it Aquamumba, didn't you? Well, I had to to get in, but... You just did it. Don't tell everybody.

Can I shoot a dummy and just shout Aquamumba? Yeah. So Flo pulls out your pistol or something like that, and you're just like... Oh, jeez. You annihilate this dummy. By jeez, I mean... And you yell Aquamumba.

No. There is a... Bing! And then there is a... Hmm. Not sure we get it. I guess it's okay. They don't understand.

Why would you do that? Why? Now everybody does know who I am, but I don't want everyone to know who I am. The second light lights up. You've been loud enough. I think they probably know you're here already, you know. Come on, Pipsqueak.

Do something magical. Hey, I don't think I've been on too many... Well, I've been on no adventures, so I don't really have any catchphrases or anything. You've been on loads, though, right? Haven't you? You have three seconds. There's four lights, yeah.

So they know there's four of us. You have three seconds, after which I am going to throw you at one of those dummies. What's your catchphrase? One, two, three. Yeah, give me an athletics check. You feel me, like, lift you up. Whoa!

16. Do you say anything when you throw him? Just out of interest? Shut up! Not bad. interest not bad third light lights up I was hoping he'd do a little spell what you just get thrown into a dummy you bounce off of it probably hit one of the ones playing cards Oh land on the ground. There's just one unlit light. Jeez, I'm real hitting the writer's block with this catchphrase thing, you know? Do you want me to throw you again?

No, because that's your thing. I need to have my own thing. Okay, come here. I was kind of hoping... Come here. Okay, come here. Okay, okay. Okay, have you got a spell that can like... Like with your fingers?

I mean, I've got a wand. Okay, you've got... Okay, right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. If you've got a spell that can like, like with your fingers, like. I mean, I got a wand. Okay. You got. Okay. Right. Right. Okay. But can you do magic from your hand as well?

Or is it just the wand? I can. Okay. I can. Right. Yeah. Come here. Okay. Okay. What? Oh, right. Tom Hazel, come here. Okay, I can write Yeah Okay, okay what all right Tom Hazel come here, okay

Look at this You're gonna have to write that one down Say it for God's sake! Okay, I'm going to go behind him. Yeah. Grab his hands. Yeah. Get your spells ready.

Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Okay. Repeat after me. Right. It's time for you... It's time for you... To meet Dez...

To meet Dez... And Troy... And Troy... And together... And together... They are destroyed. And they are destroyed and they are destroyed boom

and what the wand and the shocking grass at the same time Marker charge off the wand yeah you annihilate two of these

you annihilate two of these things these dummies there is a ding and a well done great catchphrase hey

the fourth door the fourth light lights up and the door opens and it seems to lead There is a ding and a well done. Great catchphrase. Hey! The fourth light lights up and the door opens and it seems to lead into another chamber. Oh, I'm keeping that one. There's Troy. Congratulations, you're a corporate shill. Let's go. What does Troy dares mean? It means boom.

Okay. Great. So you make your way past this tavern into the next room. The next room is a large open cavern with dungeon-esque stone walls. At the far end of the room, there is a dotted line with a large metal hopper set into the floor. The rest of the room, there are several key features near where you enter it. There is a large open chest filled with bars of dwarven metal, a small table with gold coins and sacks on it,

a small mock-up of a wizard's lab and a table full of equipment as well as a bookshelf, a shelf full of small statues and jewelry, a large banquet table covered with food and cutlery, and a jeweled crown and scepter on the wall. There is a chandelier set into the roof, which is the only source of light. As you enter, the voice speaks out again. Style isn't enough to pay the bills, and as an intern, you are partially responsible for the financial well-being of Acquisitions Incorporated. In this room, you will demonstrate your ability

to quickly and efficiently gather treasure. You will have one minute to bring as much treasure as possible across the finish line and deposit it into the hopper. You will be graded based on the value of the materials acquired and ranked in comparison to the rest of your group. There will be a prize for first place. Your time starts now.

Right, piss off! So, everybody gets a move and an action. So I'll read them out. So, there is a large chest full of bars with dwarven metal. There is a small table with some gold coins and sacks. A small mock-up of a wizard's lab with a bookshelf and an alchemy table. A small shelf full of statues and jewelry.

A large banquet table with food and expensive cutlery. And a jeweled crown and scepter mounted on the wall. And yeah, you basically, you are next to all of these objects, so you can just choose one to go to, but to go to the hopper is a move action, and to grab stuff is an action, and if you want to investigate it, that's an action, etc. Should we do initiative suges first?

Sure, yeah, let's do that. Let's roll initiative. So it's literally just a case of get the most expensive stuff in the hopper. That seems to be what has been suggested. Can I roll, I roll idle Champ's dice with this, right? You can, sure. Oh. Can we? Well, you asked me, can we add roll dice for that? I suggest. I'm still rolling for it, but badly.

So Fleur, Tug... It's all air three. Boomer... Aqua. I'll score you on this as well. So Fleur, what was your initiative? Why are we adding the dice to it? 29. We're against eachomer. Aqua. I'll score you on this as well. So, Fleur, what was your initiative? Why are we adding the guys to it?

29. We were against each other. Yeah. I rolled a natural one, so three. Boomer. Ten. Aqua member. That's with three dice.

18. Well, Fleur, you are right off the bat, like, sensing, like, this is about getting treasure. You're on it. What do you want to go to first? What do you want to go to? You've got enough. You can move up to one, grab some some stuff and then move to the hopper. The crown and scepter.

Okay. That's where you're going. I'm going to find out where everyone's going first and then I'm going to resolve the actions. So Aquamama, you see Flo run forward to the crown and scepter on the wall. Where do you go? Can I run and grab the small satchel and gems, that

table? There's a shelf with statues and jewellery, or there's a table with coins and sacks on it. The jewellery. You go to the shelf with the jewellery, okay. And can I mage hand other stuff? Potentially, but you're running towards that. That's the first thing we're going to do.

Boomer, where are you going? So what's left? So there is the large open chest with the dwarven metal. There is the small table with gold pieces and sacks on it. There's the mock-up of the wizard's lab with the bookshelf. There is a banquet table with food and expensive

looking cutlery left. So you go for the table with the sacks. And where is Tug going? Can I cast detect magic? Yes, you can. So you just stand still, cast Detect Magic. You can still move up to something as well if you want. Okay, well, after I cast it, can I see where the magic is? Okay, and then you're going to decide from there.

Yeah, yeah. So we'll result this in order then. I just need to get my monster manual out for a second. Why? Flo, can you make a perception check for me, please? Oh, no. This scepter has teeth. It is.

26. Okay. I think you're going to be just okay. I've got to find stuff. If you're looking for mimic, it's under M. Now, I know where that is. Don't worry about that. So, Flo, at the very last second, you managed to pull yourself back for mimic it's under M now I know where that is don't worry about that so Float

at the very last second you manage to pull yourself back because you realise the crown and scepter aren't mounted on the wall they're just kind of floating there and they are inside a large cube like thing which as you get close to it begins to lurch forward

but as you back off it just resets back in place what do you want to do As you get close to it, it begins to lurch forward, but as you back off, it just resets back in place. What do you want to do? Go to the table. So you're going to run over to the big table. Yeah. Okay, well, that'll be next time because you've used your move,

so you're going to back off. You're not going to do anything with this action. Aquaman, but you go up to the shelf, and yeah, you can see that there are little figurines and statues. There's gold necklaces and things like that. And then you wanted to try and mage hand some stuff as well. Uh, can I mage hand other stuff on a different table?

Uh, yeah. Which one do you want to go for? What, what, what do you want to mage hand? There's like four sacks on the table where boom is going. Um, I imagine he'd,

I'd send it forward towards the sector. Okay. So yeah, uh, the mage hand just kind of it like kind of touches the surface of the cube and you can feel that there's, you know that it's like

touching some sort of cube structure in front of the crown and scepter. And then you want to grab the you're just going to grab the jewelry and stuff. I'm going to start taking nexus and putting them on. Okay, yeah, sure. You just start piling them on. And then you move over to the cone. Okay, yeah, sure. Okay, yep, you just start piling them on. And then you move over to the cone. So, Boomer, what do you do?

So there's sacks here? Yeah. So there's, like, four sacks, and then there's, like, a few scattered loose gold coins. Can I just grab all the sacks? So you grab the first one, and it's surprisingly heavy. Like, you know, it's got a real weight to it.

If you want to try and carry more than one, you're going to have to make an athletics check. Yeah, why not? Okay, so how many do you want to grab? All of them? You're going to grab two? Two. Okay, give me an athletics check then.

What the fuck? What the fuck? I hate all of you. And I want to win. Boom, it's competitive. Yep. There's definitely not... Wow. There's definitely not any more in this facility to deal with. Five, six, seven, eight. What's eight plus 12? That's 20.

That's 31 of dice. 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. Yeah, you can carry two of them. Two, three, three, four. So you grab two and you run over to the hopper and you pop them in. As soon as you drop them in the hopper, there's like a cha-ching. Suck it! So you grab that, tug.

So I did detect... So you can't detect magic. So there is magic throughout the room. You realise that the hopper itself is magical. It's obviously some sort of magical process for recording it. There are three potions on the alchemy table that you realise are genuine magic potions. The rest of them appear to be something else.

Okay. There is no other magical equipment that you can sense a location on. Not even in the library books? No, there's no magical books, but some of them could be expensive. You don't know. You need to look through them. But there are three potions you

can identify. In that case, I will go grab those three potions and ignore the rest. Okay, so the action is you cast into Tech Magic, so

you move up and you grab them. I'm ready to get them. Yeah, you're ready to get them. So the next round, so Fleur, we back

up to you. You run over to the table with the sacks that you saw Boomer grab two on. Oh, you wanted to go for the

banquet table. Yeah, so you go up to the banquet table, and it's a long table covered in greasy food like chicken and pork and things like that, but there's also all sorts of cutlery. Are you going to try and look for something that looks expensive, or are you just going to grab stuff? Yeah. Okay, you can give me an investigation or a perception check.

19. 19. So you realize that there are four silver candelabras. You're not quite sure how much they're worth though. That's the only thing, but you can easily identify that the most valuable stuff on this table, there are four silver candelabras, four silver serving platters, and then eight sets of silver cutlery. But they're all quite greasy. Carrying quite a lot of them will probably be quite slippy. You might have to, like, you'd have a hard time holding on to all of them. But how many do you want to grab? A variety. A variety?

Of each of the expensive things I spotted. So you grab, like, two candelabras and two serving plates. And then a bunch of forks and cutlery and stuff. As much cutlery as I can. Okay, so two, four. And then let's say you grab another four. Okay, yeah. And then you're of forks and cutlery and stuff. As much cutlery as I can. Okay, so two, four. And then let's say you grab another four. Okay, yeah. And then you're going to try and run for the hopper.

Can I run via... Is there any more jewelry left on the table? So if you go to one location, they're kind of far enough away from each other that you can grab to one and then run for the hopper. Okay, give me a dex saving throw. Oh, no. Oh, man.

I'll leave the gelatinous cube page open just in case I need that. 24. 27. 27. Just, just enough to carry that amount. You run over to the hopper, and you can feel this stuff kind of slipping out of your hands, but you're kind of juggling it.

Like one of the plates almost goes flying. manage to like catch it with your foot kick it back up grab it um and then you throw it all into the potter's you've got two of the candlesticks can i try and catch any of it and then put it in as myself no because she passed the saving throw so um that's gonna be oh quite a lot three oh yeah good. Is this competitive? Good score. Good score. Aquamumber. So I've got all this jewellery. And then you run over to the... Running over to the hopper and also pulling out the scepter simultaneously.

Well, the mage hand can't push through the gelatinous cube. Oh, it can't get through it. Yeah, because it's a creature. The mage hand can't push its way through. I suppose it could, but it would take some time. You'd have to concentrate on it. I'll be concentrating while... No, I'd say actually no.

The Mage Hand probably can go through the darkness cube, because it's not a living creature. It's just a spectral hand. So yeah, that grabs the scepter, but you have to stay within 30 feet of the hand. I see any problems. I'll be running towards the hopper. Okay, but if you run to the hopper,

you're going to be moving 30 feet away from the cube. Okay, I'll go as close to the hopper as I can, 30 feet away from the cube. And then wait for the thing to come back to you. Okay, alright, perfect. Tug. So what were the exact wording of the... I mean, I'm not going to repeat myself. Can I roll intelligence?

Sure. Okay. Intelligence is plus four, so 13. I should have rolled some extra stuff on that. Yeah, I mean, something about you'll be ranked in comparison to the rest. There's a price for first place, and it's about how much money you can gather, how much treasure you can get. How much treasure. Okay.

So with the potions, I want to say that... I think it's a trick question. I've just realized the greatest treasure of an adventure is the willingness to sacrifice yourself for the friends you've made. Alright, well give me that. And I'm going to take the potions, walk over to the hopper and then throw myself into it. Oh my god!

You're so dead. Okay. You're so dead. This is another sphere of annihilation moment. Could well be. Is it a sphere of annihilation? No, I'm working something else. Is there a treasure greater than this, Mark? Yes. Yes, there is.

I'm going to put you at about... He's giving you a value. I'm giving you a value. Giving me a value. I've also got my highballs. So you jump into the hopper, and then you suddenly find yourself in a very cold, dark place. And you're pretty sure you're nude.

So we go back up to Fleur. You can run back to another location and grab stuff. What would you like to do? Oh, did you not get a go? Sorry. You get a go. Yeah, so you get a go. Hmm. So I've seen that Fleur's gotten carried. Yeah, Fleur's a go. I have. Hmm. So I've seen that Fleur's got

okay. Yeah, Fleur's carried a bunch of these plates, but there's still a bunch left on the table. Yeah. There's like two candelabras, two silver platters and like four sets of knives and forks at this table. Can I... He's got the scepter, right?

His mage hand is currently pulling it out of the gelatinous cube towards him, yes. So it's out of the cube? Yeah, I'd say it's out of the cube. But it's got the scepter, right? His mage hand is currently pulling it out of the gelatinous cube towards him, yes. So it's out of the cube? Yeah, it's out of the cube. But it's got to come back to Aquamumber. You going to try and grab it off the mage hand? Yeah, sure. You roll strength, and then you roll arcana.

To see who can... I'm going to do a flat roll. You're going to do a flat roll. You're going to do a flat roll? I'm going to fucking cheat. Oh my god! I tried. Yes, you sold the dice. I really hate them.

19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 31, 32, 33, 34. We need more dice. Play Idle Champions immediately. 35, 28, 29. Oh my god. 30. Yeah, that's not bad. 31, 32, 33, 34. We need more dice. Play Idol Champions immediately. 35, 36, 37. 37, and you've got to beat that with... 10, 18, 27, plus... What was it?

Arcana. Boomer really hates that core member. No. No. No? So you go up, you grab this scepter and this crown, and you're like... And you yank it from the mage hand, but you've got to move...

Next turn you have to move back to the hopper. Can I not use Nimble Escape to disengage? Yes, you can. Yep, yes, you can. So you're like... Technically you're not disengaging, but it's a dash action, I guess. But yeah, you slam dunk it into the hopper.

There's another. I hate you so much. I hate you too, mate. This stupid old sweat you got me. Where do you want to go? I'm just going to assess this. And just turn to the hopper and be like small child are you down there?

there's no response oh no oh no actions are worth a lot right? yeah maybe I better win this who's gonna do this? that's okay aquaman yeah maybe I better win this I'm going to run towards Boomer and dropkick

him into the so you just come up and try and I'm going to use whatever key I need okay sure so make an unarmed attack see if you hit Boomer to start with. Yeah. That's plus six.

Twelve. Nope. Is that with the plus six? Or did you roll a twelve? I rolled a six. So yeah, you got a kick and then Boomer's like

and dodges out of the way. Nice try, Grandad. Key point if you want to make some more unarmed strikes. Yeah. Yeah? So you can make up to two more

if you spend a key point. I will spend a key point. So two more un up to two more if you spend a ki point. I will spend a ki point. So two more run-on strikes. See if you hit the next one. Oh! 17 plus 6. 23 hits. So now you're going to need

to make a strength check versus... And Boomer, you're going to make a strength saving throw. Am I allowed to use dice? I mean, you can always use dice.

When have I ever said you can't use the dice? The Idol Champions dice are used to supplement our ability checks and saving throws. We have 55 minutes left. Let's do it straight up. Let's do it straight up. 13, 14, 15, 16. Two. Two.

And Bruman just kind of skids back a few inches. You don't manage to shove him enough. Second attack. Yeah, second attack. Yeah. You don't manage to shove him enough. Second attack. Yeah, second attack. I'm going to get you. Three. No, he didn't hit you. He didn't hit you.

He didn't hit me. So this time you're like, you throw yourself to the side. Come here, you little goblin. Boomer, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? It's your turn. I kind of want to try and throw him in

sure try and throw him in yeah you can do it I feel like Fleur could pick both of them up I just put them both in I'm just wondering if there's anything else to do well you're going to have to be quick

you've got six seconds to decide this is like what are you doing decide now I don't know right turn over I'm going to bright light explosive him sure six seconds to decide. This is like, what are you doing? Decide now! I don't know! Right, turn over. I'm going to bright light the explosive here.

Sure. What? What was that, saving throw? So can you make a saving throw, a deck saving throw? Nine.

Those dice do not like you, dude. Nine. So he is blinded. Blinded. So you just watch as Boomer throws this thing in your face. Catch, Render! Ah! Flash bang.

That's your action, technically. We go back to Fleur. You're out of it. You're done. I'm done. I'm just cackling. Is there any way out here that's opened up yet? Nope.

You've probably got this is like the last like 10 seconds. I'll make this the last one. He hasn't put anything in. You don't know? I have a timer. I haven't.

No, I don't. You haven't scored anything. Well, you've got the jewellery but you just didn't put it in. No, I tried to drop kick. Yeah. What do you want to do? There's this lovable

scamp in there. There's still a few things you can try and get some money off You want a one? Nothing? Sure? I'll go to the coin table Let's grab some sack

You can lift one handily, carrying more than one I'll just pick up one And then drop it in the thing I think Boomer's too busy cackling in his sleep again. Okay, tackle Mambo. I'm blinded. Yep. So I'm going to try and take the jewelry off and hope where the helper is and throw it in.

Can I see if I can put my arm out and just catch the necklaces on my arm? Make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, what? Yeah. See if you're quick enough. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's not like a...

No, no, no. See if you're quick enough to grab Yeah So it's not like No no no See if you're quick enough To grab the jewellery Nice 19 Yeah You're like Here you go

And then Fleur's just like Catching all of this jewellery Do I not get You don't hear a ding That's the thing You don't hear a ding Do I not get a chance

To save Was there a ding from the last one No I rolled to see the percentile If you got it in the hopper And then I gave Fleur a chance of Dixie Risen through, which she passed. Was there a ding when I put the... Yeah, when you put anything of value in, there's always a ding. Boomer?

Was there a ding when he went in? Yes. That was a very loud ding. I might as well grab something. Whatever's closest. Okay. Yeah, you can go back for another one of the sacks. There's one more sack left on the table. Yeah, I'll get a sack. I'll grab a sack. I'll throw a sack in.

Swifty! Okay. So there's one, so you've got like six seconds left. Anything else? Are you done? I'm done. I can remember. The blindness goes away.

It's only until the end of your turn, so. I was going to try and wrestle Boomer. You just want to throw a Boomer? I'm really angry now. Okay, all right. You can try and throw a boomer again so same thing strength

yeah well you need to hit first wait you're even trying to throw her in I'm just going to grapple but you want to

throw them in right so yeah I do want to yeah you still need to hit to initiate a grapple so unarmed strike 17 plus 6 so hit

now you make the strength no okay grabs you natural 1 oh my god 15 15 is only 18 so hits now you make the strength no no if he grabs you natural one oh my god 15 15, 17, 18 you're just like

just get in the harbour you can't grab like boomer's too strong oh I'm so greasy disgusting boomer anything

or are you just gonna like disengage just run away can I use nimble escape to disengage and put another sack in there's no more sacks Grab a candelabra and throw that in

Yeah you can throw a candelabra in What a score What a score for Boomer So there is like a Ding ding ding There is a weird noise And then a naked Tuggle buck

It's ejected from the hopper You have lost all of your equipment noise and then a naked Tuggle Buck is ejected from the hopper. You have lost all of your equipment including your clothes because it took everything of value. He's ejected and then there is a kind of chunk chunk chunk chunk

and then there is an announcement and then there is a kind of sound. I guess, yeah, it would know who's got what. So it prints out of the little slot. There is a printed, like a... And there's a piece of paper. And there is a number of medals are printed out as well.

So I believe that we have number one, boomer uh there is no name it just says the goblin uh it says the goblin first place you get a gold medal oh i'm so proud my mom would be so proud uh i believe then it is tuggle buck as second with silver medal. Second place? My wand of scorching rays went in there. And two healing potions. Oh, that's true. Your healing potions. I forgot about those. In fact, I'm going to have to change it. It's Tuggle Buck number one. Moving to a silver place. I forgot

about the healing potions. He deserves the ultimate sacrifice. Just nude with a gold medal. He's just nude. So you get the gold medal. Bronze. Fleur. Fleur. Fleur. It comes up with your name. You get a bronze medal. And then there is a tin badge with you tried written on it. Back with Mamba's name.

It's tin. It's tin. It's like a tiny, it's like a little lapel pin. And it says you tried on it. That's what you get. And then there is like a little drum roll and a spotlight illuminates Tuggle Buck. Oh, no. get. And then there is like a little drum roll and a spotlight illuminates Tuggle Buck. Oh no! And then out of the floor a pedestal

with a hot apple pie with his image on the crust is erected. And then the door opens. Kind of wish the spotlight would go away! Do you still have the sweaters and stuff that you

commissioned? I never picked them up. Damn. No, we did. We did when we got the tuxedo. Do we have any extra? I don't have anything to put him in. I can't look that way. Well, for starters, mate, I'm having that.

Oh, no, it's mine. You're such a bully. You're bullying him. You're a bully But you can have this And I hold up my aqua mamba Hey, hey, hey Turtleneck

No Nope Not in this place I'm not looking at this child's wiener For the next hour Does that mean I'm a Does that mean I'm a No, it does not

There you go I'm a mamba mercenary I just put it on you You also have an apple pie. You have one apple pie and an aqua mamba turtleneck. While I'm trying to put this thing on with a turtleneck, I can imagine the turtleneck goes right over my face. It's still goblin-sized, so it fits you.

Maybe the goblin's a bit bigger than you, I think. It's a little bit chewed. It's like a little mini dress. It kind of hits just below your groin. It's a little bit chewed on the sleeves. a little mini dress. It kind of hits just below your groin. It's a little bit chewed on the sleeves. I'll hold your pie while you put it on. I get to be a mamba's mercenary. Give me your pie.

Yeah, it's delicious. What a delicious apple pie. And you call me a bully. Yeah, you're both bullies. Yeah, there's a door that opens into the next room. I knew it was a good idea to make the ultimate sacrifice. Yep. Boom is wearing your medal.

I don't need gold when I've got friends. You gonna step through? I'm first. You guys make your way through. He has no fear. I will give him this. He threw himself into... He just threw himself

right in there. I'm slightly impressed. There's something I'm going to mention a bit later on, which is hilarious. Is that fear or stupidity? Fear both. So, through the next door, you find yourself in a room of two balconies facing each other across a 20-foot gap. There is a 30-foot fall to the floor below. There's a lot of bones at the bottom of the pit.

There is a chest on your side and then a voice emerges from another similar grate. Interns must be able to work towards a common goal using the tools provided. Work together to cross to the far side of the room. Due to your performance so far, each of you will be assigned a performance countermeasure. This will ensure you showcase your ability

to overcome obstacles and engage in lateral thinking. Lastly, note that magic has been deactivated in this room. If you look inside the chest, there is a hundred foot of silk cord, a ten foot pole, fifty hammers, a bed sheet, seven planks of wood that are six foot

in length, four one gallon sealed skins of honey, vinegar, beer and flour, 118-inch sticks, 12 iron spikes and a silver mirror. And what's the goal today? To reach the other side. There's a 20-foot gap with a 30-foot drop. Okay. As you begin to speak, Aquamember, you find you are only able to speak in rhyme

Boomer, one of your No, you are blinded Fleur, you are forced to carry an adorable kitten You immediately know that if the kitten leaves your person You will erupt into fire And Tugawamp, nothing happens Because you're already a handy cat. Wow.

Did you have fun doing this? Do you know what? I'll reveal, I'll say this now. This is not me. This is something from, I'll talk about it a bit later on. Okay. I took this, this is something from a previous PAX.

I'm blind. Okay. And it's adorable. This kitten is so cute. It's got big eyes and it's like, it just looks at you with big paws. You don't have to hold it, but if it ever leaves your person,

you know you will immediately erupt into flames. Just holds it next to your tiefling face. Oh, blood! I can't see! Mum! Are you there?

How's it feel? I can't see! Now eat your meal. I'm frantically patting everyone down. You have to speak in rhymes. Now, Mr. Gnome, if you would, it'd be great if you could get the nails. Oh, Christ. That'd be good. you could get the nails. Oh, Christ.

That'd be good. In the wood. Take a long time. In the wood? So what would you guys want to do? You just need to get this 20-foot gap. You need to reach the other side. Okay, I got the nails. This is ballast. There's no nails. There were 12 iron spikes, but they're like massive client spikes.

50 hammers, though. 50 hammers. Well, okay, I've got the spike. Fucking what? I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Can I just stay here on this balcony with a kitten? You could, but the door shuts behind you.

I'm just going to be like, I fucking hate lawyers, mate. Lawyers. There's lawyers behind this. What do you guys want to do? I got the spikes Wait, there was... There's a 20 foot gap. There's like tons of shit.

There's so much shit! But you also have your own stuff, you have your own equipment as well. I do, I don't want to show you because like... Can you take a picture on my phone of the list of shit so that I can peruse? Do a shopping trip. Take the spikes and join the wood and then we cross

into the further away place. You take three points of psychic damage. Oh god! I hope You take three points of psychic damage. Oh, God. I hope that I don't have that happen to me again. You take seven points of psychic damage.

Oh, my God. What is going on? Someone describe the scene to me. I'm blind. You saw the scene You saw the gap I'm going to set fire to something There's a 100 feet of silk cord

10 foot pole 50 hammers A bed sheet 7 6 foot planks of wood 4 1 gallon sealed skids 100 18 inch sticks 12 iron spikes And a mirror six foot planks of wood, four one-gallon sealed skids, a hundred 18-inch sticks, 12 iron spikes,

and a mirror. A silver mirror. If we just throw it all in a hole, will it just fill it up? Oh, I wish Bertie was here. He could just throw me. I'm in Bertie! You still have all your regular equipment except Tug,

because he's naked. Is this silk cord, does it feel quite strong? It feels strong, but it's really thin. It's a cord, it's not a rope. It's like a thin cord. Well, there goes that plan. I mean, I know how we can get down.

I just don't know how do we get up again. You've got your grapple launcher. It's up again. You got your grapple launcher. Yeah. It's like, you got your grapple launcher. You're fine. Flo can just... Ideally, we'd like to go across if pass. Yes.

Ibble. I'm just looking at what else I have. Okay. All right. What use is the tiny child without his magic? That's very true. Hey, I won the last competition with my wits and cunning. You won in some ways, but you also lost in a lot of other ways, so.

I lost all my stuff, but I'll get that back. The flails and the hammer, the nails. Oh, right. There's no nails. There's just these big iron spikes. Iron spikes. Huge iron spikes. You can try and use them on the big planks of wood.

Honey or something? Yeah, there's one-gallon skins. There's four of them. Four one-gallon skins. With honey, vinegar, beer, and flour. Would that stick the planks together? I mean, do you think it would? Yes.

Sure, you can try. In this world? Sure, you can try. I'm blind! What's the trick? It's 20 feet long, isn't it? It's 20 feet, but yeah, we go across 20 feet. Well, I could get two planks and hammer them together.

That'd be 12 feet. Is there anything at the bottom of the pit? That's halfway. I do another six. No, it's just a straight four. There are bones at the bottom. There's also no light source in here. The previous rooms had these chandeliers,

but there's no actual light source in this room. I'm blind. Yeah, you're blind. Everything's dark to me. It's just like a dull glow. So what are you hammering them together with? The hammers. Hammer.

One of the 50 hammers. 50 hammer, iron spike. Oh, iron spikes okay so you're going to join two of the planks together alright just in case you've got 12 foot

12 foot plank yeah if you do three you've got 18 hey if someone else keeps doing this I've got an idea how to keep the bridge up

what's your idea to keep the bridge up we've got a big pole I'll go down in the middle you're going to go down? it's a 30 foot drop it's a 10 foot pole no wait I've got a better idea

I could use the honey sack and just walk off the edge with that and hopefully I land on it don't let him do that don't let him don't let him do it but I mean... 50 hammer... bad sheep. Is it bad sheep?

What's in a Dungeoneer's Pack? Dungeoneer's Pack? Because I feel like it has rope in it. Yeah, it does. It has rope. 50 foot of rope. I think that is the Dungeoneer's Pack. Now yours is like a weird... I didn't give you everything but... It's not. Dungeoneer's Pack.

Hold on. Now hear me out, because I think it'll be cute How about we make that bed sheet Into a parachute Dungeoneer's Pack Backpack, crowbar, hammer 10 pittons, 10 torches, a tinderbox 10 days of rations, a water skin

And 50 foot of hempen rope So I've got climbing stuff. So you could try and climb along a wall? Yeah, you could try that. If you give me the rope, I could try and grapple across and then... But there's a rope in this as well, isn't there? It's very much going to scale up in the right. Wait, you can just

grapple across? Yes, but that doesn't solve the rest of the problem. I mean, it kind of does, because we could just... Yeah, that's what I mean. You can tie it. Or hold it. I'll hold one end of the bomb. I mean, it kind of does, because we could just... You can tie it. I'll hold one end of the rope. You're not going to hold it. No, no, I'm saying I'll hold one end of the rope,

you hold the other end, grapple across, and boom. Rope. All the way across. Can I grapple with my grappling hook? Can I shoot at something and have it stick there? Sure. Can I tie that at the other end, though?

Sure. Just make a ranged attack roll. As if you were firing at something, aiming for something. What was my usual grapple if I just grapple across? It's just like you'll be hooking onto a bit of stone or something like that. I'd probably still make you roll for it. Well, yeah, but I think... You can make a perception check

to see if there's something that you can grapple onto. Yeah, can I have a look and see what I can grapple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a perception check. Do you want to use any of those? Ooh. 22. 22.

You notice there's a few things. On the other side of the room, there's like the door frame. There's like a little stone ledge on the other side of this balcony, like little kind of stone sort of like nesting thing. You also notice what appears to be

the kind of faint invisible outline of a chandelier in the middle of the ceiling. Uncle Mamba doesn't know. But there you go. It's like in the middle set into the roof

there's an invisible don't look at me chandelier an invisible chandelier there's an invisible chandelier fuck thanks Mark

sure don't look at me I'll tell you who to blame later on what do you want to do what are you guys doing there's a voice

that comes out the grill. Warning. Taking too long will result in additional performance countermeasures. These have been randomly selected as ghost sharks and spider wolves. I don't like spiders. Hurry up. Can I take the rope, one end of the rope, grapple onto the chandelier and swing across. Absolutely. In fact, you wouldn't even make a roll because the chandelier's there. You still hold on to the kitten.

Oh yeah. Swing over. So you've got like what, the rope in like your teeth or something like that and then you swing across. I imagine I could probably tie it. Tie it around your waist. You swing over. You've now got one rope on one side, one rope on the other side. Boomer's holding the rope on one one rope on one side one rope on the other side boomer's holding the rope on one side float on the rope on the other side and then what you're gonna tie off on the balcony and then just try and shimmy across okay so you tie it off wherever makes sense on my side that just means that three of you need to make athletics or acrobatics checks to climb across boomer you have disadvantage because you're blind Does nobody want to help a poor little goblin?

I don't know what I can do to help. Not after what you did to Boomer after Akramopra, I don't think so. I'm just enjoying my kitten. Just petting the kitten. Yeah. Imagine, if you will, that you're all climbing across this while I stand with a cute kitten. I'm blind, sweetheart. I like to think that...

That's with disadvantage as well, so just roll and see if you get any lower. Nope. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Okay, what about the rest of you? So I got... All you can hear is tiny meows. 22, 23,

25. So Tug, naked, 25. 25. So Tug, naked, manages to crawl across this rope. He's got a jumper on. Yeah, but that's flapping around as he's crawling underneath the rope. So I'm crawling like head first. I'm blind. I'm blind. I'm blind.

You need to get another dice. Yeah, I'll do it again. Do you want to just take another one? Seven. Boomer, you're going across, but being blind, you kind of misgrab and your hand slips and you fall off the rope. You take 13 points of damage as you hit the ground. Aquamember, you fall off. But do you have slow fall?

I'm not sure if you're a high enough level monk. Cool. You're going to take seven points of bludgeoning damage as you fall to the ground. Holy fucking piece of shit. I quit. And you are now at the bottom of this. How much?

You took seven. 13 for me? Yeah. You're now at the bottom of the 30-foot pier. So me and... On one side, yeah. I'm surrounded by a heap of nope. Someone throw down a goddamn rope.

Can I... Can I shoot the rope at the other side to make it drop? And then it frays and then slides down. Athletics, please, to climb up. Can I use my little climbing shoes? I don't know. Four. Do you have climbing shoes?

No. Are they in the pack? I don't know. You have climbing kit. Okay. Yeah? Sure. I'll give you a bonus.

Four. Scrabbling up. What do you need? The fact that you don't even use the dice. Look at Kim's pile of dice compared to everyone else's pile of dice. Some of that was his. I think some of it was. When we had our little tussle off.

I used those for it. Oh, my God. She's used literally... Four... Fourteen on the dice. Yeah, and then... Seventeen. Okay, yeah, that's enough.

Boomer manages to climb up back, while Mamba's like, Nyeh! Nyeh! How strong are you? You strong? I am a little bit strong, yes. Would you like to check out my guns? And I flex.

You can try again. Can you demonstrate by pulling him up on a rope? Oh, but he's a twat. I know, but we can't get out of here until... Hey, Aquamumba! I'm going to shout down the hall. Your old friend Boomer here

is the only one who can pull you out, apparently. You've got to say something real nice about me. The rope's still there. I'm going to try the rope again. Stay silent. Zero.

Just the exhaustion. Everything just... You're done. Like, you're done. And the rest of you can see, except Boomer, who's still blind. You can see Akramaba scrabbling and like, just slides down. I think you can do it. I'm sick of this shit. This isn't fine.

Is there a toilet down below that you could climb into? It's not my time. Okay, that's lucky. You felt the headache coming on. Yes! Come on, just whisper a sweet little nothing into your friend Boomer's ear. Calling up. Come on, just whisper a sweet little nothing into your friend Boomer's ear.

Calling up, like... He's not got to think of it in rhyme form, though. Roll with disadvantage, I'm guessing, or...? No, no, are you helping him? He's not said anything yet. He's going to be nice. He's not said anything yet, so... Hey, Boomer, when I did your make- makeup and made you look so clean I thought your look was quite pristine I don't know

I don't know just give me the goddamn robe nope oh come on strength check no if you're just doing it, Aquamumber, you make an Athletics check. Boomer, you make an Athletics check for no disadvantage.

I love how the compliment for Boomer was just... You look nice. I made you look nice. Boomer? Those two dice might be the saviour there. 14 on dice. 14? 16, 17.

It's enough. You managed to pull him up. Aquamumber kind of, like, uses his enough. You manage to pull him up. Acklamumber kind of like uses his own strength to kind of pull him up halfway and eventually you get to the other side of the balcony.

And just as what appear to be ghost sharks and spider wolves begin manifesting into existence, there is a door that leads out. As you pass through it,

your blindness, the rhyming, all goes away. The kitten melts in your hands into a fine mist that smells like pine fresh. That's weird, but not. It's very strange.

As you begin making your way down this corridor into the room ahead, the door shuts behind you again, and you begin to smell acrid smell of acid and sulfur. A green glow begins to illuminate and as you emerge you see the next room is a large cavern and you stand on a narrow ledge, the entire cavern floor is a deep pit

of glowing green acid stone columns of various sizes are staggered across the pit, like so you are on the far end and the voice calls out due to previous acid related accidents on the far end. And the voice calls out, due to previous acid-related accidents on the job at Acquisitions Incorporated, interns are expected to have an intimate familiarity with the dangers of acid pits and traps.

Avoid the acid and reach the other side of the room. What if I already know that acid is bad? Unless you're dropping it, in which case it's really good. And then you can see that there are a number of stone columns, all of various sizes. There are also two chandeliers marked A and B. That's a hell of a jumping puzzle. I'm going to be a little green D4.

Sure. Each use your own D4. Oh, I did actually bring miniatures, actually. There you go. You can use these. Fleur's the one with the pro. I mean, I'm trying to think what I can actually use to help me. I can set stuff on fire.

Yeah, it does seem that you can... I mean, you've not tried it, but you could probably use magic. It didn't say you couldn't. So do all of us have to cross? Yep. Oh. I don't say you couldn't. So do all of us have to cross? Yep. Oh. I don't want to die like this. I'm a sweet young thing.

Just do the chandelier thing again. Well, I mean... That doesn't work for anyone else except me. But you can get across. You're definitely skilled enough to do it on your own. You, I mean, you're a goblin. You're scrappy. Yes, but I also burn very quickly in acid.

I'm not very dexterous. I'm, like, really small. Don't you have any flashy, flashy noonas? I do. Can you float or fly? Even better. I cast enlarge, reduce, or myself. Okay.

So you are now medium-sized. The sweater, which is small, is really tight. I'm just going to burn my gaze slightly, but still talking to him. That has not helped the situation. Well, it has, because now I can get across the thing. I mean, you're only medium-sized.

You're not enormous. No, I know, but I feel like a goblin. Not a goblin, a gnome that's bigger. I don't understand your logic, but you've cast it now. I'm bigger now. Yep. Now there's more of you to dissolve. Your advantage on strength checks, I believe, while you're enlarged.

Yeah, I have advantage on strength checks. Which is athletics, yeah. And also, I mean, being that small, a five-foot jump is a lot. Now I'm a little bit bigger. Sure. That's sound logic, and I think everyone will agree with me. Yep. Cool.

You have advantage on strength checks. Thank you. So that counts for a silence. And now I'm standing above you guys. You guys are going to get across. I'm going to spend my final key point to do step the wind, which doubles my jump. Okay, perfect. So give me an acrobatics check.

Watch this. Intern. And where are you jumping to? You're the other one. You're the little one with the white shirt. Here? Okay. These are all the same level.

Yeah, that's only a five foot jump. So you just doubled your jump distance for that. 15 plus. What is it? Acrobatics. Nothing. 4. 19.

Yeah, you easily make that jump. The 5-foot jump. And again. Where are you jumping to? Here. Okay, so what? 10 feet. Yep.

Take me a check. Acrobatics check. I've got a double jump. For one turn, yes. Ten feet. Yep. Give me a check. Acrobatics check. I've got a double jump. For one turn? Yes. Was it? Yep. It doesn't last forever.

Is it? Yes. That's what I was saying. You used your double jump. You doubled the length of your jump. He does like a really cool flip. He like, lands and he's The rest of the entire

room is ahead. Okay, made it! And then the entire corridor just... It's like a pan, like a camera pan of the rest of the... Acrobatics, Jen. What, look at that over there! Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm terrified.

Oh my god. Oh, I took the wrong one. I got lucky. Yeah, he's a natural one! I've got lucky. Yeah, he's a halfling, he can re-roll once. How many times? I think halflings can re-roll all once. I must use the new roll. Halflings re-roll all once.

So it's like impossible to get a natural one with a halfling. Unless you roll a gap. And the second one is not as good. You land in the acid. You take six points of acid. He's unconscious in the acid. Right. At this point, you've all got to move on an action

before I have to do more damage to Acromumbus. What's everyone doing? He's just like in the pool. Somebody could easily just pull him out. Like if they can jump to that space, you can easily just pull him out. Darling, you still got my rope, right? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Ah! I'm unconscious. What are you guys doing? Like the three of you, I'm gonna give you a normal turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys could have had you a normal turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys could have had the rope and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's athletics or acrobatics to make jumps.

The longer the jump, the harder it is. Yeah. I'm going to have to make athletics. Can I jump to... How far is that? That's ten. That's five. I'm going to five foot jump.

Five foot jump's nice and easy. That's a humanoid, like, step, right? Yeah, absolutely. I'd like to make a four foot jump's nice and easy That's a humanoid like step Yeah absolutely I'd like to make a five foot jump I mean it's like jumping a whole person It's not hard But it's also It's not a nine

It's not a nine Twelve Twelve is enough Yeah you jump across yeah Okay So you jump across And you can pull him out Okay

Yeah you can pull Aquamumber out Oh so it's not like really high No no no It's like It's ground level But it's just the jumping distance So yeah you pull him out So move Aquamumber back onto the square he is still dying however you silly twat um uh

right what about the two of you what are you guys doing um can i what is annoying me is i know exactly what spells i gave tom and it's infuriating me i've just read it don't worry yes i've already used it once before. It's a little spell there, like, cool. Misty's dead. How many spell slots have you got? One left. That's only a single person. One left is a little too.

Single person, 30 feet. Yeah, you can cast, I think you can cast it as a second level. I'm going to use my grapple on the chandelier again. Yep, so just give me a... In fact, I'm not going to make it. I think it just moves you 30 feet as well. So you can go... You said it was 30 feet.

15, 20, 25, 30. So you can basically make your way over to this large rock here. Actually, with the swing of the chandelier, you can make your way over to this little tiny one. A little help? Flo just... Swings past like Spider-Man.

How much would you say... I'm going to sing that while I doMan. How much would you say I'm going to sing that while I do it. How much would you say Boomer weighs? Not much. I'm like a small creature. Yeah, but like 60 pounds? 60, so what's one eighth of 60? Uh...

What are you doing? Smudging. 3.25, isn't it? Something like that. 3.25? Are you trying to carry him? No. You're gonna small him down? I have a spell called catapult. Oh yes you do.

Which goes 90 feet. But you have to be 1 to 5 pounds. No, it's not gonna work then. Well no, if he reduces one to five pounds. No, it's not going to work then. Well, no, if he reduces him to three pounds. I've also got a large reduce. Okay. I could reduce you and then catapult you. I'm game, you crazy little bastard.

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five, sixty, sixty-five, seventy, seventy-five, eighty, ninety is just enough to get across. So I will... I'm well up for this, but this guy is still, like, you know, dead. Oh, in that case, can I do it to him instead? No, don't do it to him, you twat. I'm a dead bullet. Let's do it. What are you doing, Tug? He's my hero.

Let me wake him up. What are you doing? I'm enlarged. You do realise if you... Oh, no, let's concentrate. Yeah, you'd lose the enlarge on you. I've wasted a spell slot enlarging myself. If you do...

I will stand... That's an athletics or acrobatics check, please. Onto that, which I have advantage on, right? He's going to be dead on the other side. Yeah. That's the strength. If you have to pull him before he's... The strength checks.

Being enlarged. Yeah. You need to bring him back to life before we do this. Oh, so I got 16 yeah fine so I'm on that I mean

what are you doing Tom what are you doing less metagame wake him up more action wake him up can I wake him up you can stabilise him

yeah oh in that case medicine check because if you throw him he's going to be dead on the other side of the map oh and you're still making him strength save

yeah oh yeah okay medicine check If you throw him, he's gonna be dead on the other side of the map. Oh, and you're still making strength saves, aren't you? Yeah. Okay, that's the same as the other one. Medicine check. Uh, I really want him to be back alive. Oh, look at that. Stabilized. I'm glad we made things our way out of this disaster. You're on zero.

You're on zero. Right, so therefore, not an initiative, so you guys can... what's your next steps? I will... You've got one more use on your grapple. Go on, then. There's another one more use on your grapple. Go on then. There's another chandelier, right? Yeah. But it's not until here.

So you need to get to at least sort of like here-ish. Because the chandelier's here. Can I jump to this one finally? Yeah. Acrobatics or athletics? Meh. Meh. Problem is, I'm using all my skull slots to get you across.

Oh, no. You stole my gold medal. Seven. Seven. He's my hero. Wait, seven. Eight. Bloop.

You land in the acid. That's four points of acid damage. What are the rest of you doing? You're unconscious. Boomer, what are you two doing? Oh, I'm gonna enlarge, oh no, sorry, reduce. You reduce Aquamamba. Aquamamba.

Which makes him weigh like two or three pounds. So he shrinks down, I also shrink down. Yeah, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, wew, and then you catapult him across. He flies in a straight line 90 feet in a direction I choose before falling to the ground in the direction you choose Okay, and a straight line. Yeah, so we can make him go like an angle. Yep. There's also no momentum either You can see on the other side. What's that? There's no momentum either

It just sort of goes that direction like in a straight line Yeah, and then just hits the point of 90 feet away and then just drops to the ground, right? I believe that the it deals damage. Does it say that the object hurled takes damage? Can you make a dexterity saving throw for me? There is also, I'd like you to as you can see, looking on the other side

there is what appears to be a gong on the other side or there's the doorway. Are you aiming for the door or are you going to aim for the gong? Come on, you know which one you're aiming for. I mean what's the gong? It's a you know which one you're aiming for. I mean, what's the gong? It's a gong. You know what a gong is? I know what a gong is.

I don't know why there's a gong on the other side. It's Chekhov's gun. Just hit the thing. Why would I go for the gong? We're trying to get to the door. That's fine. You aim for the door. Hang on a minute. You've launched him. There is no going back on that. You launched him.

I'm set on that. Yeah. But gong or door? Could he do an intelligence check or something? He's unconscious. What are you asking for? Why is there a gong? Can I do some sort of check to figure out why there's a gong?

You can make an intelligence check. No, I need to jump off! Eight. Twelve. Intelligence. Sixteen. I mean, like an alarm, maybe? You don't know. Why is there

a gong there? This is a weird place to have a gong. And where is it? Maybe there was something about, like, one of the old acquisitions adventures you remember, about an acid and a gong, but you it? Maybe there was something about like one of the old acquisitions adventures you remember about an acid and a gong but you're not sure about the details. But where's the gong? It's on the other side so it's just here. Oh it's on the platform. Yeah it's on the platform yeah. Oh yeah then I'll hit it. Okay. You wasted two dice. Deck saving throw please. Aquamumber. I'm unconscious. Yep so you automatically fail. Yeah.

So therefore, let's roll some dice. Oh, great. Thanks for hitting the gong. Why? Why is that a thing that happens? Oh, it's fine, kiddo. So you watch, as Aquaman hits the gong, I believe damage needs to be rolled now. Just 3d8.

Well, you just take a death saving throw then. Just one death saving throw automatically. As the gong bunch of the platforms just sink down into the exit. But why? Why was there a gong there? But why?

Why was there a gong there? But his gong was on the other side. And remember, as you hit the gong, in your brief moments of consciousness, there's faint Elvin's script on it. Do you speak Elvin? I think I do, yeah. It says, under no circumstances

do not hit this gong. Wait, that's a double negative. Sorry, whatever you do, do not hit this gong. Wait, that's a double negative. Yeah, sorry. Whatever you do, do not hit this gong, is what it says. Idiot. Yeah, that's the death saving throw for Aquamanber. Done. All right, what's the rest of everyone doing?

You've got 15 minutes to get across this. I'm going to watch this. Flood, do you want to make an athletics check to pull yourself up onto the platform? Can I get to this platform? You can swim through acid, yes. You will take 2d6 acid damage. Okay.

You take five more points of acid damage and then you make an athletics check to pull yourself up. Let's see if you do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is like, yeah. You pull yourself up onto this little one here. Can I grapple the chandelier across?

You absolutely can. You launch your final grapple. As it hits the chandelier and you begin swinging across, the chandelier comes loose and falls off the ceiling. Can you make a dexterity saving throw for me, please? Me! 17. It's enough that you manage to land here

before you fall more into the acid. You kind of like last- minute throw yourself Nathan Drake style. Okay. Right. What are the other two of you doing? Jesus Christ. And then we'll have Aquamama's roll a d20 for me. I don't know how Boomer's going to look.

Neither do I. 11. 11. That's the one success. One success. You've really excelled yourself here, kid. I'm kind of like. I've got my.

It went downhill as soon as he hit the acid. I still take my bat out behind him, and I'm considering... Knocking him in. Just like... I'm just really considering knocking him in there. I just don't understand why the going would be all the way. I'm just going to... You're on your own, kid. I don't understand either, Tom Maisel.

I don't understand. It was what was written on the adventure. I don't understand why you was what was written in the adventure. I don't understand why you throw someone who's unconscious. Right, are you two doing anything? Otherwise, Aquamama,

can you roll another death saving throw? We'll make an athletics or an acrobatics check then. You still need to roll a d20 for me. Again? Well, no, okay.

We'll let those do the tailoring actions. Fourteen. Where are you jumping to? Oh. I guess 5, 10, 15, 20. It's a 10 foot because you could jump to like this one.

Okay, can I get there? You just narrowly miss it and fall in the acid. Brilliant. That's going to be, oh, that's eight points of acid damage. Togglebuck.

This is because of you, kiddo! But he's gonna be the only one left. No, Fleur's okay. Fleur can probably make it. I believe in you. Togglebuck, are you doing anything or are you just thinking, well, I need him to take an action and then it's another death saving throw. Cause Fleur can also take an action. I've been like super

thinking about what I can do and I've run out of i can't right in that case you do nothing this term floor what are you doing i was going to jump all right john i have been thinking about it and i've got nothing athletics or acrobatics uh 21. yep you join up there uh you can use your turn to pull boomer up next time what Fleur, what are you doing? Can I... I can't get across to the final bit. You could jump here. That'd be a 5'10", 15 foot jump. It's a long jump.

You can try. If you do a running jump. I'm going to do that. I'll do a running jump. Okay, so athletics or acrobatics? It does tell. I didn't know. Natural 20! Nailed it.

You land over Aquamumber's body. Can I put a push on his mouth? Not yet, because that was your action to jump. Aquamumber, death saving throw. Natural. Oh, no, it's a seven. Death saving throw. Second fail.

Could have died then. Boomer, I'm guessing Tugglebuck is going to pull you up. Yeah. So, you're out the acid. Can I still jump? Yeah, you can make the next jump. Next one is 15 feet away. Give me one of them dice.

Oh, these two remaining. I was only two left. Play able champions! Please. I could've used those dice to get alive. You could've, like, all those dice you spent in the treasure chamber fighting each other, you could've used here. It's almost like...

I need to do a count of how many Kim has used. I've used three. In the whole game, I want the count of how many Kim has used. 18. Is that 18? I told you, you're cheap. You fall short. You fall short.

That's going to be six more acid damage. Are you going to play Fury of theuck? Or Nimble or anything. Yeah, can I use Disengage? I'll do the same roll that Boomer just did. Yep. Aquamatics or Athletics? Six, 18. 18.

You land next to fucking Boomer. Well, so I'm in the acid as well. Yeah, you're in the acid. Ooh, ten acid damage. Oh my god, I'm half dead. Join me in the acid. Fleur, you're going to pour Join me in the acid. Fleur, you're going to

pour a potion in Aquamember's mouth. You get back ten hit points, Aquamember. What happened? You form like I'm in agony.

The concentration is There's tiny people in the acid. Tiny people in the acid. Can you make a constitution saving throw? They're every size. Me?

Yeah. See if you can keep concentration on the enlarged bell. I don in the acid. Can you make a constitution saving throw for me? Me? Yeah. See if you can keep concentration on the enlarged bell. Oh, I don't. No. You're back to normal size. Can you imagine working in your tiny? I hope they both burn. Okay.

So you're now up. Can I pull myself out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So athletics check, please. Because you don't have tug of war to help you up this time. You actually pull yourself up. Five. Nope. That's another four points of acid damage.

I'm going to hurt you. Tuggle Buck. Are you going to pull yourself up? I'm going to pull myself up. Natural 20. Yay! Tuggle Buck pulls himself up. You flip up. What are you doing?

Anything? Are you guys? I'll do the purple hook again. I'm out. No, she's got three uses of it. I got charges and I'm out. I've used them all. So you and Aquamember at the far end,

are you guys, can you do anything to help these guys? I don't think that I can because I've only got guns. Yeah. You can shoot them. You put them out of our misery. I can put both of you in misery. Just put me out of my goddamn misery. I can remember.

I want to die a hero's death. I mean, like, anything you want to do? I'm going to cast Mage Hand. Right. And it's just going to float near them. Right. And it's going to be a handhold if they need to get out of the acid. Okay, so you're going to try and use it to pull them out of the acid if you need to.

But no, not Boomer. Wait, it has that. And it's only 30 foot range. One, two, three, four, five. I can manipulate an object. So I feel like it could be an assistant. Yeah, I feelomer. Wait, it has that... And it's only 30 foot range. One, two, three, four, five. I can manipulate an object, so I feel like... Yeah, I feel like you can use... I'll give them advantage on their strength to pull them up. No, I didn't realise.

Togabuck, are you going to pull Boomer up? I've had Mage Hand. Yeah, I've had Mage Hand this entire time. But it says it can only carry like 10 pounds. Yeah, but like 10... It's just used as a handhold. It's a way to like help pull yourself up. Oh shit, I'll pick you up with a Mage Hand.

Well, no, you don't pick him up. You offer, like... It's still easier for you to pull Boomer out of the acid. Fine. But that mage hand just makes it easier to get yourself out. I help you up. Okay. And now you can have your turn.

Can I drink a regular healing potion, please? Sure. Here's where I'd keep my regular healing potion. Ah, you get four hit points back. If I didn't dissolve it in a hopper. I rolled bad. Can you roll bad on the next damage splash, please? Yeah, sure.

I'll try to. Kiddo. You're like at the midpoint in this acid pit. Oh, I lie. I'm about to die. What? This is your fault. I don't think it's my fault.

How is it my fault? I don't think this is my fault at all. I don't think it's anyone's fault How is it my fault? I don't think this is my fault at all. You hit the gong. I don't think it's anyone's fault. I think it's the dice. I think if you went there, if you went to the gong... I think it's...

If I'm going to blame anybody, I'm actually going to put blame on Kim Richards for using all the dice earlier. Boomer cheats, it's all. Yeah, absolutely. No, I don't... I'm just saying, if we want to cast a cheat...

Welcome to my role as if you're new. She used all of the party's luck. Do you know what? I've actually got 11 dice here. You can make up so much more. Good-o. But I could give to you guys. Oh!

I wonder what's that worth in the real world. Wow. Oh, come on. I'll go get you a Coke from the fridge. You're like a wild golf ball. Yeah, I'm thinking like, I'll tell you what, if you pay me, I've got 11 gold here, you pay me a tenner and I'll give you these dice from the fridge. You're like a wild golf ball. Yeah, I'm thinking like, I'll tell you what, if you pay me, I've got 11 gold here. You pay me a tenner and I'll give you these dice to use now.

I want a tenner. I've got a tenner. Wow. I've got a receipt for my wedding dress. Sounds like these 11 dice are going to sit here with me. I'm on the end. I've got a check. No.

Two cans of coke. No. How many cans of coke will it take? I want cold. I have stacks. Second class. Oh, that's empty. Or we? I want cold. I have stacks. Second class. Oh, that's empty. Or we super need to speed up.

Or you can buy me. No, we're going to end here if we have to, Tom Hazel. I do have a tenner. Give him it. Give him it. This is maniacal is what this is. This is. I mean, I've got no way to use them this session.

So I could save them for next time save them for next save them for next time we'll have like 150 next time yeah because if we end this here we'll have more dice for the next one let's just delay it that's the game you want to play mark yeah i'm not gonna play i'm just gonna stand here no you made everything way worse i played every check oh wait you don't do anything for the next round how long are you going to wait? You just wait? Because they're all the same. They're going to have sharks, yeah.

If DM Mark Humes is going to play that game, then player Tom Hazel is going to play that game. Well, I have no reason. I am under no rules of re-engaging that I have to give you my dice. I'm offering them. For £10! Absolutely!

I'm not going to give them for free. I'm jumping. Yes, for sure. Can you use the rope on the mage hand? I can't. It can carry the rope somewhere, yes. Like, so can it carry it? So, like, you're still going to make me make checks, aren't you?

I mean, no, the mage hand can go 30 feet out, it can move 30 feet away from Tug of War, and it can carry the rope 30 feet out. However, 30 feet would only carry it 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. It would only carry it to here. What about I can carry it to that platform? It can carry it to there, but then it can't, like, there's nothing only carry it 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. It would only carry it to here. What about I can carry it to that platform? It can carry it to there, but then it can't, like, there's nothing to tie it to. It's just like a stone, it's just a rocky outcropping.

It can't do anything dexterous. I'm going to float the mage hand out and kind of Rayman style, use it as a grappling, so I, like, jump, grab onto the mage hand, swing off it. That's a lot of... Okay, yeah. That's more than 10. All right. Make an athletics check.

I'll give you a hidden bonus. A hidden bonus. Yeah, because it's not quite strong enough for advantage. 16 plus microbatics, 18. And you're jumping to this one? Done. But you can see that it's only narrow enough that only one of you can stand on it at a time.

I'll try that again. Sure. See if you make it. 11, 13 plus hidden bonus. Yep, that's actually just enough. You land over here. Okay, in that case I'll hold the hand out for you. Can I do the same? Yeah, sure. Athletics or acrobatics? 12. Just enough to make it to this one. Oh, God. Once again. How's that low strength working out, Boomer? Nine. I've got plus three strength.

Bloop. Oh, you're out again. Pull me out. I'll pull you out. Oh, that's 10 points of acid damage. Come on, two health. Tugabuck pulls you out. So we need to get you across this next bit

or you're dead. Yep. Because I won't be able to carry you. Nope. Fine. I'll put the mage hand there. Okay. Are you going to try and do the same thing?

So we've got two mage hands. We've got five minutes. You know like in those platformers where you have the cloud platform and it just fades away. It's just enough. Yeah, maybe. So what, we've got two Mage Hands?

If I put my Mage Hand on his Mage Hand, are we wizardly lovers? Yes, you are. Athletics checks. Who's jumping first? Because only one of you can fit. I am. Apparently the child is.

18. What's that? That's a 15 foot jump that's 3 points of acid damage as you land in not the mage hand no it didn't it wasn't enough

so does the mage hand pull him out or no I can't jump over because he's on the tiny little well he's he's not on it he's on the acid

you can jump over him you could use him as a extended bandage I could use him as a extended band. Oh, use your head? To jump on? Sure. I'll give you a hidden bonus for that. Do it.

But, of course, you would be dunking him under the acid. Yeah, how much health do you have? Do it. No, I'm not doing it. Do it. I dare you. What's Boomer doing? I'm going to jump.

Can I reach? You can, like, hold a hand out, like, to try and, like, Aladdin Princess Jasmine jump. Can I reach? You can hold a hand out to try and Aladdin Princess Jasmine him. Can I throw my rope to them? I can show you the rope. Yeah, you can try and throw the rope or you can mage hand it. Aquaman could mage hand it. Yeah. But the problem is you still have, it's a lateral jump.

The rope will help. You could tie it off and they could quickly reel you in if you fail. But you still have to make the jump. The rope's not going to help you with the jump necessarily. It'll help you if you go in. They'll be able to pull you up. Yeah, screw it. Okay, so athletics.

Throw the rope, blah, blah, blah. 16. 16. Isn't unfortunately enough because this is a long jump. So you land next to thingy. I'm dead. Next to. Yeah, you take five points of acid, which knocks you out,

but the rope is still around you. It's eating away at the rope, the acid, but these two people. Tell my. I'm dead. Next to. Yeah, you take five points of acid, which knocks you out, but the rope is still around you. It's eating away at the rope, the acid, but these two... Tell my mum I love her! So you quickly pull Boomer up. Toggle Buck, start your

turn. You take another two points of acid damage. I can do that. And then it's an athletics check to put yourself up onto the column.

Eleven. You have advantage because you can summon your mage hand. Oh yeah. A little helping hand. 11. 11 is just enough to pull yourself up onto it. Okay.

And you've got one more last little jump. This will be the last thing we're going to finish after this roll. 15. 15. It's enough because it's only a small, it's only a high foot jump. So you make your way across. Can someone give me a kiss of life please? Oh yeah, that's the point.

Boom is still dying. So, um, you... Yep, one of you two. Are you gonna... What are you gonna do for a bit? By all means. No, not kissing the goblin on you. I brought you back to life.

Death saving throw, Boom. I'm gonna let you do it. Death saving throw. I hesitate. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you do it. I'm gonna let you back today. Death saving throw. I'm going to let him do it.

That's him. I hesitate. Eight. One. Oh, five. I let out a little death strike. Medicine check. Cocked.

Stabilized. He lived! So we fade out with the three of you, and you can now see anybody who can read Elvish can now see on the gong it says, whatever you do, do not hit this gong. R.I.P. AOFL, the AOFL Memorial Acid Pit Training Room. And that is where we're going to thing things off today.

This adventure that I've been using is available on DM's Guild it was originally created by Patrick Rothfuss for a PAX live game with Acquisitions Inc it's called

the Istar Facility that's fun it is amazing oh my god that's so much fun it is great and we will have to wrap this up

when I get back from Japan because there is one last test in the facility for you to face. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of A Rogue's Gambit.

Just a heads up, Mark is in Japan for the next couple of weeks so there'll be no Rogue's Gambit or Erois for a while but Kim is going to be running a horror one-shot

that should be uploaded on here. Should. Hopefully that will tide you over for that time but we've got some fun plans for those sessions and interesting player characters both old and new if they're not uploaded on the

podcast you can watch them on twitch.tv forward slash high rollers dnd or on our youtube channel also high rollers dnd or follow us on twitter that's high rollers dnd as well if you're looking for us just search high rollers oh and remember to play Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms to earn us some nice new dice. And remember to visit store.yogscast.com and use the code HIGHROLLERS on checkout to get 10% off everything. And also remember to tell your friends, rate us on iTunes, stay in school, and in the words of Mark, all that good stuff. We'll see you next time.