High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: A Rogue's Gambit #7 | The Eye Catcher
Episode Date: November 2, 2018The team continue their adventure in the ISTAR facility and head towards the Eye Catcher! Check out Idle Champions here - https://bit.ly/2MJSdYy - to earn us those valuable D6s... we need all the he...lp we can get. All you need to do is play the game! We're playing the brand new Waterdeep: Dragon Heist module! More information here: https://bit.ly/2JdEX8M Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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alcohol in select markets see app for details hello everyone welcome back to high rollers
welcome back to a rogue's gambit our 11 part mini series in the brand new dragon heist module we're
sponsored by idle champions of the forgotten realms and in the time that we've been gone
you've given us over a hundred dice to add to our ability checks and saving throws. But
don't worry Mark has upped the difficulty of this episode so we're
going to need each and every one. Anyway check the description of this episode to
play the game and help us in future episodes. Today the team are finishing up
the Ishtar facility and heading off towards the eyecatcher. Let's play the
episode, let's play a Rogue Scammer.
Oh we're here! We really hope we're live. We really do. We really want to be live. We've been streaming for the last 11 minutes. Yeah. But there was no stream. Yeah. We did the whole thing, we did an intro. We had some really
hilarious jokes. Like five star jokes. Probably some the whole thing, we did an intro. We had some really hilarious jokes.
Five star jokes.
Probably some of the funniest stuff we've ever done.
And now I'm curious that it's still not live.
It is live, don't worry.
I'm on both now.
I can see both as live.
Welcome to Hyrule's Diddy.
This has really deflated my intro.
We were so energetic, it was great.
I still feel...
We've got it.
We can do it.
Hello!
Welcome to Hyrule as A Rogue's Gambit.
We're live now again.
I'm Mark Humes, the Dungeon Master, recently shaved
because we did a Halloween episode of our regular show
where I dressed up as Bowsette, top meme lol.
We also have Chris Trapp.
Kim Richards, who's sick.
Tom Hazel.
Hello.
Katie's not feeling very well, so she's not here.
Rhiannon's away.
I also asked Alex Smith
from Hat Films
but he said he'd rather play
Red Dead Redemption 2
and he's got to be up early
or something tomorrow
he doesn't know
what we've been through
as the Harper agents
I know
it's crazy
so
speaking of
let's do a quick recap
these guys are playing
as Harper agents
they've been sent to the city
of Waterdeep
to locate
a massive
treasure hoard
half a million
gold dragons that's a gold coin in Water massive treasure hoard. Half a million gold dragons.
That's a gold coin in Waterdeep.
So that's half a million gold coins.
That was secreted into a vault.
Secreted is a right word,
but it's a weird use of...
Excreted. No, that's, yeah,
but secreted is when you secrete something.
Locked away in a vault
by Lord Neverember,
who was the previous open lord of Waterdeep, and then he hid
all of the knowledge. The only clue
that leads to its current location is
a stone called the Stone of Galore.
The party had
the Stone of Galore in their possession for a brief
time, but it was lost. I touched it.
You did touch it. Taken away by a construct
called a nimble right, which the party
lost into the metropolis that is
Waterdeep.
After such, Bertie was arrested,
taken to a maximum security prison.
The other remaining members of the party went to Lariel Silverhand,
the current open lord of Waterdeep,
requesting that Bertie be released, and also
seeking a bit of advice and help
in locating the stone and the nimble rite.
She agreed, but they would need to complete a small task for her first,
and so they were sent to a facility owned by Acquisitions Incorporated,
the ISTAR facility, to determine if the adventuring company is up to no good.
The party did so.
And in doing so, they are currently underway,
going through serious numbers of checks.
Sorry, I'm trying to get my notes up
so that I can carry on in a second.
They did so and are nearing the end of the facility,
having gone through various trials and tribulations.
Their reward is a number of magic items when they complete it.
However, unknown to them,
Bertie had already escaped from prison
with a number of magic items of his own.
Look at all of these goods.
With all those goodies.
I'm the best adventurer.
Yeah.
I've been using the new Gale Force 9 magic item cards as well.
So, they're pretty cool.
You'll get to see them in a minute, Chris-Chart.
Stop peeking over my screen.
I think that's everything.
Um, we made lots of jokes about a chandelier.
We sang chandelier.
It's gone now.
Just do it... now.
Ah, and then, er... Fleur got across the acid pit by swinging on a chandelier. It's gone now. Just do it now. And then Fleur got across the acid pit by swinging on a chandelier.
Chandelier.
It was so much funnier earlier.
Really funny.
It's really good.
First time round.
I'm so sad that we lost that start.
It's okay.
But we are caught up.
Caught up.
So now it's time to play.
A Rogue's Gambit.
A Rogue's Gambit. Tom is currently. So now it's time to play. A rogue's gambit. A rogue's gambit.
Tom is currently playing Tuggle Buck Candle Coop.
Tuggle Buck Candle Coop.
Who's a known wizard that was assigned to the party to help them in the Iztar facility.
And we find the party on the other side of the AFL Memorial Acid Pit.
Staring down a corridor leading to another room.
What would you all like to do?
Well, I've got a doppelganger somewhere.
I hear myself all the time.
I can hear that. That was amazing.
Is that the acid getting through? Is it corroding?
You're so powerful. You're such a good spy.
You're terrible. What? You're the powerful. You're such a good spy.
You're terrible.
What?
You're the worst Harper agent there is.
You've still got to prove yourself.
I think I proved myself plenty in that acid pit.
I flung you across the thing, hit the gong.
Unconscious.
Turns out the gong was a bad idea.
Who puts a gong the other side of an acid pit?
I hope you learned your lesson.
Well, yeah.
Now you've got to prove yourself once again.
Aw.
Go through the next room. What? By yourself? By myself? By lesson. Well, yeah. Now you've got to prove yourself once again. Oh. Go through the next room.
What?
By yourself.
By myself?
By yourself.
Scatterhead.
Sometimes you've got to do things alone, you know?
Oh, I mean, will you like me after that?
Absolutely not.
If anything, I'll probably hate you more.
Wow.
Mate, could you just pull your turtleneck down just a little?
Oh, yeah.
Just a little bit breezy down there, mate. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
I kind of lost all my stuff, remember?
I bet you've got a disadvantage where I can't look down.
You know how dogs can't look up?
Dogs can look up, mate.
I strictly cannot look down.
Piss off, mate.
Dogs can look up.
They can't arch their necks upwards, can they?
Hey, if Aquamumber says it, then it's the truth.
Stop sucking up.
I hate you more.
I'm not sucking up.
Get to the door.
Okay.
So you go up on your own and go through the door.
I suppose.
And you're going to wait by the acid pit.
Just following my arms.
Mamba.
I'm watching.
Mamba, mate.
Yes.
I just want to say, I know I've been a little bit rough on you on these trials, you know,
just like stealing all your gold and stuff like that.
It's fun banter, isn't it, mate?
Absolutely.
If you don't die by the end of this, I might shake your hand.
Excellent.
And take all my stuff back.
I just want...
And stab you in the back.
I just want to say, thanks for giving me the kiss of life there, mate.
You're a real pal.
It was not a kiss.
I felt it.
It brought me back. It's your first I felt it. It brought me back.
First aid check.
It brought me back from the other side.
I heard you serenading me away from the light.
I was absolutely not serenading you.
It was wonderful.
I was following protocol
to get a teammate back
to increase my chance to survive anyway.
I just want to say thank you.
He's scooting off.
Candle fuck, what you doing?
So you open the door
and you step inside
and inside you see He's scooting up. Candle fuck, what you doing? So you open the door, and you step inside,
and inside you see a large, quite fancy-looking room.
There are several big, plush, comfy chairs.
There are vases with flowers.
There's a nice painting of some kittens behind a wooden desk.
But there is also, at the far end of the room,
a large archway covered in arcane runes.
And as you step inside, a familiar voice crackles from a metal grill.
The final test of the ISTAR facility focuses on your ability to negotiate contracts for adventuring and acquisitional jobs on behalf of the company.
We want you to be prepared as possible for this important step in your adventuring career.
Please take a
seat whilst we summon a contract-
And there is a strong sound of static as magical sparks erupt from the nearby grill and the
archway which begins to hum and thrum with life. Vroom. Vroom. Oh. Vroom.
A portal appears, and stumbling from it, you see what probably
would have once been a man
in a very nice suit,
very kind of well-kept hair,
little spectacles on the end of his nose.
However, he is now hideously dead
and reanimated as a zombie
as he begins lurching
towards you. Can you roll initiative
for me, please? Just maybe.
Let's have everyone roll initiative.
Very well.
Did the door close behind me?
No, it has not closed behind you.
Initiative.
19.
Alright, I haven't asked you
for it yet.
19. And then I'll have to just make up some stats for Fleur, so...
All right, stop telling me.
You got 19.
Cool.
Boomer.
Four.
Poor Fleur gets a three.
Tug.
Eight.
Well, Aquamamba, you hear... You kind of hear the voice echo down from the corridor.
It's not very far ahead of you.
And you see the kind of glow of magic emanate from the archway.
What would you like to do?
You best deal with that.
It's going to be a real problem if it kills you.
Okay.
Okie dokie.
So Aquamumber's go.
So Tugglebuck is in fact you afterwards.
Well, in that case, I do have the ability to still cast spells, right?
Yes, we will say that you can.
You keep your arcane focus.
Man, I lost my wand of scorching rays.
You did.
And your potions.
I, in that case, I don't have any attack spells, Mark.
Why didn't you give me any attack spells?
I did. I gave you catapult and I can trips I think okay what you want I you're an
adventuring wizard mean uh figure it out use your ingenuity um can my speeches
there be bardic inspiration yeah sure
I think he would
see inspiration in
that
yeah so you get
d6
okay
color spray is a
attack spell isn't
it
I don't know tell
me what it does
Tom Hazel would
you like to play
Sandbox and look
at what color
spray does
yes please
thank you
um
because I've got
color spray and I
think that's the
highest level spell
I have color spray well like the the highest level spell I have.
Color Spray.
Well, like the highest level attack spell I have anyway.
It's like graffiti then.
C-O.
Control.
Contagion.
Conjure.
Conjure.
Compel.
Commune.
Clairvoyance.
Commune.
Color Spray.
Oh, my God.
Tom Hazel's greatest enemy.
So, a dazzling array of flashing coloured light springs from your hand.
Roll 6d10.
The total is how many hit points the creature's...
Okay.
Okay.
Pass me the place handbook.
And you're going to cast that, right?
So you move up and you cast colour spray on this thing.
Great negotiating, asshole! I... Huh? handbook and you're gonna cast that right so you move up and you cast color spray on this thing great negotiating i huh it might not be a who says it's bad well it's a zombie thing like you're casting it the speakers fizzled remember carry on you do you. Okay. Yep. So, 6D10.
1.
10.
11. 12.
17. 27.
28. 28.
So you, and I believe it is a
15 foot cone. So you move up
within 15 feet of this thing.
Cool, yeah.
And then, ha!
From your hand, a prism of colour erupts and spreads across this undead creature.
And as it fades, the creature kind of looks at you with dead eyes.
Bad contract!
So it is actually part of the trial.
I thought the trial flazzed out.
It moves up towards you.
I thought it was so flazzed.
And it basically...
No deal!
Fist!
It smacks you in the face.
Oh, my God.
Does a 19 hit you?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Okay.
So you take...
Well, how many hit points
are you on?
I mean, it says
I've got 20 max.
I would have lost
a lot from the last one.
Did you not write down
like your damage?
Yeah.
What is this?
I did, yeah.
Yeah, I did actually.
I've still got 20 left.
I've got like five left.
How do you know what I have? Why is it not written down, Tom? I'm going to be honest. I've got like five left. How do you know what I have?
Why is it not written down, Tom?
I'm going to be honest.
I don't know.
I'm sure I wrote...
Unless I took no damage.
Let's just say I did and I've only got five left.
No, let's say you didn't take any damage.
It's not going to massively matter in a minute.
You take seven bludgeoning and then seven necrotic?
So that's 14.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
It hits you again.
Although that's only a nine to hit you the second time.
It doesn't hit me.
So this fist, this undead fist just slams into your cheek.
Oh, my God.
You feel like life energy being pulled off you as this undead hand just slaps you.
And you notice that as it hits you, it is like in its hand is like some sort of piece of parchment. like life energy being pulled off you as this undead hand just slaps you.
And you notice that as it hits you, it is like in its hand is like some sort of piece of parchment,
which you briefly glimpse has got like legal writing on it and it's clutching them in its hands.
Oh, okay.
I sign it.
Bonus action.
Sign it as it flies past me.
Okay.
I don't know.
You're like a dazed, like, scrawled with your own blood. It swings past me. I don't know you're like a dazed like scrawl with your own blood like what you're using
I don't know
just
oh wait
that's why I didn't
write it down
because I was playing
on D&D Beyond
I'm down
I did actually
take 15 damage
I had 5 left
I wasn't lying
so you're
you're unconscious
I'm unconscious
okay great
Boomer
did he sign the contract
no I'm not
he was down
he was unconscious
Also, it was swinging past me
There's no way I could have
I'm on one health point
What are you doing?
So you're currently with an acid pit behind you
You can see down this short corridor
Into a room where there is a zombie
And you watch as Tug of War is like
And all this colourful magic erupts.
And he just looks at him and punches him in the face.
Hey, Mamba, if I give you this gold medal,
will you go deal with this?
Absolutely.
Okay, here you go.
Thank you.
I'll put it on.
I'll put it on you ceremoniously.
Okay.
Boomer's turn is putting a medal on
Axel Masler.
And I'm just going to stand slightly behind him.
Fleur looks at both of you
and just pulls her gun out.
Starts making sure
it's loaded.
Aims down the corridor and takes a shot at this thing.
And kills it.
Sure, we'll say that hits.
I don't have her stats, but I roll an 18.
It takes a bunch of damage as this bullet kind of thuds in. It's like... and kills it. Sure, we'll say that hits. I don't have a stats, but I roll an 18. Yeah, that'll hit.
Yep, it takes a bunch of damage
as this bullet kind of thuds in.
It's like,
brr, aggressive negotiation.
It wasn't even slightly dazzled
by the color spray?
No.
Is he just covered in color as well?
No, it just kind of,
it was like a big beam of light
and then it just evaporates.
Can I see the player's handbook
and find out what the hell colour spray actually does?
It blinds it.
You have to affect, you have to basically do it over its total hit points.
Cool.
Read that.
Aquamumber.
My apologies.
Are you going to move into the room?
Yeah.
Okay.
My arm's open.
Okay. My arm's open. Okay. I will be more than willing to discuss the
negotiation proceedings
for the contract charm person.
He says
that out loud.
You go up. You walk in.
You're like, I'm a man.
Then you cast this spell.
As you cast the spell, it's like
something, just like a little bit
of tidbit of knowledge. As the spell leaves your
hands, this magical energy fades out of you
that it is a zombie.
And the undead can't be charmed
because they're zombies.
Yeah, shit.
It looks down and it's like,
good new negotiator.
And it starts bringing up its
fist.
Very well.
I feel like we've lost our negotiation standing.
Let me just make a death save for you there.
Yeah, please.
That's exactly what I'm asking for.
17, that's all right.
You passed.
Bam.
The zombie turns on Anko Mamba.
It's like, no deal.
No deal. What? ankle mumble it's like no deal no deal what
24 to hit
yeah
hits
7 bludgeoning
do I get plus 20 AC
with my golden medallion
no
7 bludgeoning
7 necrotics
that's 14 total
I'm absolutely down
get knocked unconscious
is this thing going to kill us it starts moving down the corridor necrotics. That's 14 total. I'm absolutely down. Get knocked unconscious.
Um,
is this thing going to kill us? It starts moving down the corridor towards Fleur
and Boomer. No!
But it kind of like lingers at the
front. It's like, come to office!
Don't make
come out there!
Boomer. Can I just revive
my friend and then we'll come to your office?
Friend in
Friend in
He's like pointing at thingy who's at his feet
Oh he's in the room
He has to move into custom person
Can you like not hit me?
Make a persuasion check
This is a negotiation
So far your
negotiations have been colour straight
choppers. Oh no!
That's your one.
Oh my god. Can you not hit me, you prick?
Hitting primary form of
negotiation.
In which case, can I
throw a...
Can I throw a fireball at him?
Yes.
I would like...
So I've had three beads on this necklace, right?
Yep.
So I'm just going to go, ah, fuck it,
and just take one of the beads from the necklace
and throw it at him.
Great.
You took off this little orange bead,
you throw it into the room,
and a fireball erupts around
the creature. Roll 8d6 damage for me please. Aquamumber and Tugglebuck mark a death save.
Sorry! Isn't that automatically a crit?
Oh I should have taken the dice! No, it's a melee attack within 5.
1, 2, 3... You can't add dice to damage.
No, but I need more d6. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you pass me your d6? It's 8 D6 damage. 8.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Two more?
8.
Oh, nice.
That's a lot of damage.
6, 12.
Someone match me.
My brain is on fire.
27?
And then plus...
27.
Yeah, that's fair.
I can't cross that.
The fireball erupts.
Out of interest,
what's your maximum hit points?
Oh, shit.
My max hit points.
What would your maximum hit points be?
23.
23?
20.
Oh, close.
If it was 27,
it would have to do 40 points of damage
to KO you
basically
it's still a death
saving throw each
as you get hit
by an attack
your body's just
you don't even get
deck saving throws
well you automatically
fail deck saving throws
if you're incapacitated
so your bodies are like
thrown up against the wall
as this fireball
just erupts in the room
the smoldering corpse
is still standing
what
but it kind of
nods its head
it's like fire fireball, good negotiation.
Great job.
Does it look like it's going to attack me again?
Yes.
Oh, no.
Negotiation continue.
Fleur will take another shot and hit.
I'm not doing too much more damage.
It's just like,
not bad!
And it just kind of stumbles in
towards you down the corridor.
But it's now between you and the room
and it's lurched down the corridor
and is coming towards this tiny
10 foot wide
platform above the
acid pit that you're currently stood on.
Aquamumber, death saving throw, please.
Sorry, bud.
Oh, ten.
Ten, that's a pass.
I'm going to die if I don't.
Toggle Buck.
Death save?
I've got two of three.
Please roll a one.
That's a fail.
Oh, I'm one away.
Wait a minute.
Are we playing with injury?
You're only on one.
You should only be on one
because you went down
and then you got hit automatically,
which is only one.
It's only two if it's a melee attack
So you're on one, but I got exploded. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, that's the you automatically failed that one
He's now got two
Because you've got one from the fireball and you've just rolled a fail. I've already saved one
So you've got one success and two failures. I'm gonna suck up to you again. Are we playing with the injury table?
We are I'm not gonna roll it for you again. Are we playing with the injury table? We are. I'm not going to roll it for you.
You're a nobody NPC.
Could I see?
Sure.
So make a...
Hey, sorry for jumping into the middle of the episode.
Don't worry, this isn't a mid-episode ad.
We're not going to start doing that anytime soon.
Buy our merch.
Just letting you know that at this point of the stream,
something crapped out somewhere
and we had to restart a little bit.
I'm not 100% certain how much was lost, but you shouldn't have missed much. at this point of the stream, something crapped out somewhere and we had to restart a little bit.
I'm not 100% certain how much was lost,
but you shouldn't have missed much.
Just in case, though.
Sorry, I guess.
Anyway, I'll leave.
Enjoy the rest of the episode.
Hello.
We're back.
Sorry about this.
We are having some technical problems today.
Don't know what's going on.
Just gremlins in the PC.
Halloween curse.
Halloween curse.
We'll go back a little bit. So the party are currently in the final
room of the Ishtar facility where
a zombie contract negotiator
has appeared to test them on their
final test. Tug of
Buck is currently down on two
failed death saves. Two failed saves and
one success. And Aquamumber is down
with one success and one failure.
The zombie,
the contract zombie, has now moved up onto
this ten foot, five foot
ledge
I would say, above the
Eofel Memorial Acid Pit, has
grabbed Boomer and now Boomer is about
to make an acrobatics check to try
and break free.
Kim has picked up a lot of dice. I don't
want to die like this!
Tom and Trot have both forgotten that they can use the dice.
Yep.
Oh!
So 19, 20 on just normal dice.
Yep.
I mean, add it up because I'm interested.
Six.
So I've got all the sixes.
Okay, so that's 12, 24.
That's a lot.
That's a million.
Stop moving it and I'll do it.
24, 30.
My math brain is not mathing today,
so I've got 20.
Just let Tom do it.
56?
Yeah.
Funny enough, that's enough, actually.
You watch.
56 and D6 is a load.
You need above a 20.
You wriggle yourself free
as this thing goes to pick you up.
It's like, contract bath time. thing goes to pick you up It's like contract bath time
And tries to dump you into the acid
And you kind of scoot along his back
Ferret around
Yeah you kind of ferret away
And he'll just turn around and with his second attack
He just kind of tries to punch Fleur basically
Can I push him?
On your turn sure
So four will take 14 points of damage
Herself which I don't believe is enough to knock it out And then On your turn, sure. So four will take 14 points of damage herself,
which I don't believe is enough to knock it out.
And then after the zombies go, it is indeed your turn, Boomer.
Use 13 dice.
13?
What?
We've got 105.
Yeah, can I push him into the... Sure, that sounds like a strength check.
Well, if I hit him with a great club, like my baseball bat... Yeah, strength. You're using your strength to push him into the... Sure, that sounds like a strength check. Well, is it strength? If I hit him with a great club, like my baseball bat...
Yeah, strength.
You're using your strength to push him.
More dice.
Bam.
So just a straight up strength...
Straight up strength check, I think.
Wow, you needed it.
Holy crap.
5, 10, 15.
20, 26, 29, 30.
And then plus 3.
I had 24.
So you do it.
I did it!
Yeah, so you kind of like, with the Great Club,
you just smack it as it stumbles forward,
falls into the acid pit,
which I'm going to check on how much damage it does.
Acid heals the undead.
It's weird.
Why do you talk?
I don't know.
So it falls in and it immediately begins bubbling,
but it's still in there.
It's like, good, great contract, good move.
And it's trying to get out.
Flood will take advantage of the fact that it's flailing about in acid
and will, with advantage, just try and point Black Shoot in the face.
We'll hit.
Do another ten points.
Can I use my bonus or anything to help one of these?
Yeah, if you...
Well, no, you'd have to move up to them.
Well, can I use my movement to move up?
Yeah, I'd say so,
but it's a full action to do medicine and stuff like that.
Okay, but at least I'm...
Yeah, you can move up to them
so you're ready for the next turn.
I guess Aquamumba, so...
You go to Aquamumba first.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we go to Aquamumba. You're further in the room first. Yeah. Okay. So we go to Aquamumba.
You're further in the room.
You're an NPC.
I thought so.
They're saving for it.
No.
You rolled it.
It was a 10 anyway.
It was a 10.
So you get success.
There's so many dice.
Shit.
One success.
Or more.
Togglebug.
I mean, you said I'm an NPC
and now I feel bad
so I'm not going to use this dice.
Oh, come on. No. Togglebug dies because you insulted me I I'm an NPC and now I feel bad, so I'm not going to use this die. Oh, come on.
No.
Togglebug dies because you insulted me IRL.
Well, this is, if you get a fail...
I'm still alive still.
Damn it, you're still alive.
Two successes, two fails.
Two successes, two fails.
The zombie will take seven points of damage
at the start of its turn.
And we'll go to 63.
It will try and escape, which it can try and do. go to 63. It will try and escape,
which it can try and do.
Oh, yeah.
It starts pulling.
It pulls itself up onto the thing.
It's just like, acid bad.
Don't like it.
How is he still alive?
He's a really tough contract zombie.
How dead does he look?
I mean, he's a zombie.
He's dead.
He's dead the whole time.
He is dead. he's pretty melty
but you don't know
so is Aquaman
he will turn
and he will try and
push Fleur
I know
he'll just hit Fleur
oh you watch
as he basically goes
boom boom
Fleur
oh for god's sake
what the hell
gonna be an early miniseries ending.
Boomer.
Donk, donk.
Well, no, we've still got Bertie.
It's a Bertie solo campaign to finish it off.
Yay, I want to kill everyone now.
Four more sessions of just Bertie and me.
Boomer, what are you doing?
Bertie in Waterdeep.
I'm going to do another necklace.
Okay, yeah. No, because Fleur's right flares right there isn't she underneath his feet. Also if you moved up to heal
Let him
I'm the last person alive. That's true. You don't have to be
Alright, I got one more I'll roll a success. Oh, he's all
Now would only put you as 0 though
You'd still be unconscious
You need a natural 20 to come back as 1 HP
That's true
How melty does this guy look?
Super, he's undead, he's a zombie
He's a melt zombie
I've got a flame projector
He was dead before we saw him
Or if I self-strength check him back into the acid What do we want? I don't know I just, I've got a flame projector. He was dead before we saw him.
Or if I self-strength check him back into the acid.
What do we want?
I don't know.
Oh, guys, I don't know what to do.
This could be the end for us.
It's your turn.
Should I save you?
But then if I medicine check him, will it bring him back to one?
Have you any healing?
Where's my place amp? No.
No healing potion.
You lost them all when you threw yourself into the stupid hopper.
That sounds like something
I would do.
How about you do a medicine check
with like as many D6s
as you can.
Heal me.
Yeah.
It doesn't heal.
That shit though.
If we use enough of these dice.
Yeah, does it bring him
back to one or to stable?
That's why I'm just checking.
Stabilizing your creature.
Medicine check.
Stable creature
doesn't make death saving throw
even though it has
zero hit points.
You just stabilize it at zero hit points you just stabilise it
at zero
do you have any
healing potions
me
because if you do
you can probably
just give up
check my equipment
yeah
what equipment
do you have
I mean this is
very metagaming
at this point
I mean you
I would say
Boomer would know
if Aquaman
had no
I do not
what are you doing
Boomer
time to make a decision
no more floundering around.
Can I flame projector him, please?
You're going to move up.
What's the rule for flame projector?
It's 15 foot cone.
So you move up within 15 foot of him.
Flame projector.
So you need to make a dex saving throw.
Oh, he's not very good at these.
The shambly ball.
Oh, yeah. Like four. a dex saving throw oh he's not very good at these the shambly ball oh yeah like four like four
uh and then i do two d6 i can't add dice to this can i nope not for damage
six six points of damage um oh by the way when i hit him with the great club my great club has
poison damage on it i would have done nothing okay Okay. Can I use Nimble Escape to disengage?
Disengage back, yeah.
So you can move 15 foot away
and then you can disengage 13 feet back.
30 feet back.
So you are basically pressed up against this archway
that it originally came out of.
Aquamumber and Tug of War are about 15 feet away
in this room.
And you're just at the back.
No, not with disengage. You just move back back on your own you're in self-preservation ghostly head of
aqua mob saying stay alive like creature just is like on fire you can see it's on fire you've
actually ignited it um and it's just kind of like raw nearly finished next to the great deal
i really like the aqua bar oh after life
make adventure
great again
flow will make
it that same
through
that's a success
aqua mamba
why don't you
use that
every time
it's a success
success
you are currently
stable
zero hit points
I'm sticking by my unnecessarily angry rule.
I've got two fails, two successes.
I'm not using any dice because screw you guys.
Oh, fuck!
I'm sticking!
The final breath of the keen newbie,
Tugglebot Candlecoop.
He meant so well.
It's life.
It's his body.
It's got a huge weight release.
Do you have any last words, Tuggle Buck?
It's like you kind of have this brief moment
of consciousness.
Aqua
Mamba
Boomer. Mamba.
Boomer.
It moves 30 feet.
That's it.
It's 15 feet away from you and it's coming.
It's got its arms outstretched.
Goblin.
Make a deal with me.
Your life life I win
He's not going to let me just sign the contract
I mean you don't know
Like so far you guys
Have just attacked it and like
Can I just say
I absolutely have not done that
You did to Castron person
And then he hit you
But even then
Did he notice I don't know I'll sign the contract Cast your own person. And then he hit you. But even then. Yeah, I'm just saying.
Did he notice?
I don't know.
I'll sign the contract.
Great.
But he's still attacking, right?
Well, it's he moves up 30 feet.
It's your turn.
What do you do on your turn?
If I say I'll sign the contract,
he's still looking like he's going to attack me, right?
It's got loads of papers in its hand and it's got its arms outstretched can i sign the papers so you
just take them and yeah i just hardly you just sign them oh no okay you sign them and you're
just like i'll be like screw the lawyers i'll do it i'll do it for equamama great
and it just basically uh can i can i disenimble escape again and disengage someone away from you for Equimama. Great.
And it just basically... Can I dis-nibble escape again
and dis-enclave somewhere away from you?
So you're scooting around the room.
I don't want to be here.
As it's slowly chasing you.
Yeah, but I've signed it.
Yeah, you've signed it. It's just like, great.
Now your soul is mine.
Oh, so good.
And it just starts like chasing you around
rule number one
always read fine print
but you can just basically
with nimble escape
you can just keep avoiding this thing
and running in circles
so I guess I'll make a death center throw for Fleur
she passes we go to Aquamumba who's stable but unconscious circles. So I guess I'll make a death's throw for Fleur. She passes.
We go to Aquamumba who's stable
but unconscious. We go back
to the zombie who moves after you.
What do you do?
You get a turn now, yeah.
Just keep throwing shit at him from around the room.
Throw the cat picture at him.
You can just keep throwing
a picture. Come back here, you are mine
now. He's probably looking pretty damaged
I don't want to renegotiate
Your breaching contract
Fucking lawyers mate
Can I smack him with the great club
So you move up to him and smack him with the great club
Yeah but I'm going to disengage again
Okay but then you'd only be 30 feet away from him
I'll piss that then
You've got 15 feet of safe space.
You've got like 15 feet between you and it
and you're constantly keeping that space.
What's the range with Fireball?
Scooby-Doo.
I mean, you can throw it quite far,
I think like 100.3.
But then he'd get another death saving throw, wouldn't he?
Back to this whole freaking rigmarole again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean...
Yeah.
What about one of my bombs?
Sure, you can throw a bomb.
Okay.
You can lure it, like, because you've got the movement.
You can, like, lure it in the way and throw a bomb.
I'm going to throw a bomb at him.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I still want to be, like, nimble escapee.
Okay, yeah, you can do that.
So make a ranged attack roll.
A ranged attack roll.
Plus five.
Okay.
14, 15, 16, 17,
18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24.
Easily hits. Yep.
Roll 2d6 attack, I think.
2d6. Does Fury of the Small
come into this? You can add Fury of the Small
because I believe you can add it to a weapon attack.
It says when you do an attack.
Are you furious? I'm pretty furious.
Are you small?
I'm pretty angry and small right now
and a little bit scared.
I'll probably wet myself.
Six,
seven,
eight,
nine,
ten,
eleven.
Like you probably blow off
like part of its arm.
It's like,
hey,
I said no renegotiation.
You signed. Stop attacking megotiation. You signed.
Stop attacking me, mate.
Come back.
Pissing lawyers.
Pissing lawyers.
Chase is after you.
I need to see an animation of Boomer running from corridor to corridor
with his zombie with a handful of contracts like walking.
He's got one hand now.
So out in the corridor, you glance.
I just, sorry.
I just rolled a natural 20 for Flo's death saving throw.
I like spat.
I rolled a 20 for Flo's saving throw.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see her open her eye.
I rolled a natural 20, so she's at one.
And then she's going to take a shot and spend a grit point to do it with advantage.
That's a hit.
That's a normal hit.
Oh, it's 10 plus 3 so you can watch as like one of its legs is blown off as this bullet just it's like cross that
hopping now like the black knight from Monty Python hey you're supposed to be
dead what voice is that?
It's like, it reminds me of a character from The Simpsons.
Simpsons?
Yeah.
Aquamumber, you're unconscious.
Tug of war is dead.
The zombie is chasing after Boomer.
Boomer, it's okay.
I've got another bomb.
Sure, throw it.
I'm just going to bomb him again.
Keep bombing.
Is my soul not sufficient for the deal?
No, you didn't sign it.
Damn it.
Wait, if I do?
Yeah.
Oh, for good.
Yeah, you don't have a soul.
Job done.
And you would have left.
I mean, all Boomer has to do is die now.
18.
18 hits.
2d6 damage.
8.
8 points.
Come on. Watch as Eight points. Come on.
You watch as it's through.
How do you shove it down its mouth?
Do you want to throw it in its chest?
Just throw it in the chest cavity.
Okay, you slam it in the chest cavity.
Dive for cover.
Nimble escape again.
As you just hit, you hear a like,
no, contract void.
And then it explodes.
And covers the entire room in gore.
Take that, you pissing lawyer!
Fuck you!
And can I immediately run over and try and
I mean, Aquamember is breathing.
You can see that he is alive, just unconscious.
As you begin and you hear Floor
limping her way over, you hear
the voice from the great
kind of crackle back to life.
Congratulations! Our contract
negotiator appears to have been killed,
resulting in a pass by
default. You have now completed
the ISTAR program, and your score
has been recorded. Your application
will now be on file, and you will
be contacted with any employment opportunities
as soon as they become available.
If you would like to improve your score and gain
access to more lucrative intern opportunities,
you are welcome to return to the entrance and try again.
Let me out.
The exit has now been opened.
On behalf of Omen Dron, CEO of Acquisitions Incorporated,
we'd like to thank you for your time and interest.
And you see the portal spring to life,
leading back out into the alley from where you entered.
I guess, can I track Acklemore?
Yep.
So Acklemore, roll a d4 for me, Trot.
Sure.
I'll do that.
Got it.
Four.
So without healing, it takes you four hours to wake up.
So Puma and Fleur drag you.
Do you leave the body of Tuggle I guess well just is happy to leave it there I'll just like I'll just shut your eyes
make put tug your little um turtleneck down so you cover your modesty I keep like yeah soz mate put him in the acid oh my god
like
like
Fur is happy
yeah we'll just salute
like slowly
like the telly
this little
gnome body
just slowly
melts away
then his eyes open
he was alive the whole time just slowly melts away. Then his eyes open. Ah!
He was alive
the whole time.
Oh, shit.
Oh, wow, he's dead.
Can I please have a long rest?
What a mess.
You are met
at the outside of the alley
by a carriage, which has instructions
to return you to Waterdeep
Keep to
provide you with the means for rest.
A cleric is brought
and heals you all back to full.
You awaken
in a beautiful elven palace
with bedsheets
rolled up to you. At the edge
of your bed is an old wizard
with a grey beard. Welcome back.
I keep having these dreams
and I get accepted by the
hoppers to do another crazy task, but
this time, I got given an oaf
and a horrible goblin
and a sort of
elvish. I'm afraid that that is
no dream. And then I'm
going to double drink.
Run in and jump on the bed.
Oh, Aquaman, you're alive, mate.
You're alive.
Aquaman, no.
Oh, I thought you were dead, sir.
I want to be dead.
I want to die.
I love you.
What a day.
What a day.
No.
Dumbest reference.
I quite like this.
It's great.
It doesn't say long.
It appears that Fleur has decided to take an extended rest.
But I can remember in the doorway, a shadow soon looms.
As you look over and Bertie is stood there happy as can be.
Oh, hey.
He's got a fancy helmet,
a big long stick
engraved with spiders
and a pair of winged boots.
Hey, look what I got.
Hey.
Bertie, you fucking bastard.
I'm just going to run over
and just throw myself like this.
Hey, boomer.
Oh, Bertie.
I'm so happy to see you, mate! You managed to
lock one of them up. Now
you're both free. Huh?
And I'm not dead. No.
Unless you are.
Candle Coop, is he dead?
Oh, yeah, we tossed his body in the acid.
Oh, good.
He sounds like a nice guy.
It seems that you have all recovered
from your injuries, and I have been instructed by the Silverhand
to present you with a number of treasures
to choose from as your reward.
For what?
For your completion of the mission.
Your friend Fleur has given us a detailed account of what occurred.
Okay.
Give me the...
Oh, and you have a choice.
Your friend Fleur has already chosen her item, a cloak of arachnida.
These items I present to all of you.
It seems that Mr. Candlecoop had some last wishes and we believe that you should take
his share.
So you may select one item each and then one additional item.
He presents you a number of options.
You have a ring of the ram.
Very fancy.
A necklace of adaptation.
Doesn't really go with my suit.
A mace of terror.
Oh, that sounds wonderful.
Gauntlets of ogre power.
Fancy.
Sweet.
A marble elephant figurine of
wondrous power. Interesting.
And a chime of opening.
I, as a grand wizard,
can tell you what all of these
things do, if you so require.
Yes. Which one are you
interested in? All of them. No, pick
one, please. Why show all of them?
See if you can choose one
and then I'll tell you about it.
I've already forgotten what the first one was.
Oh, fine. Okay, you can have a look.
Thank you.
I've got them presented on these little
cards. Mace
of Terror. I mean, don't read the back.
I'll tell you what it is.
It's fine. You can use
it to frighten foes around you.
Well, Birdie doesn't need that. Do you want it?
Frighten people?
Yeah.
I like to think I'm pretty frightening as I am. I'm going to threaten that child.
All right.
Pissed himself.
What's this one?
The necklace of adaptation. The wearer finds themselves able to breathe in any circumstance,
and they have several resistances against noxious fumes and spells of the light.
If he farts, you can survive.
I quite like the sound of that. You? Yeah.
What about this, the Ring of the Ram? The Ring of the Ram.
The Uera can project
powerful telekinetic force
to ram and shove
their opponents. You wish for the
Ring of the Ram. It's on.
Then keep this.
This is your information.
Look how badass I look.
Okay.
I'm going to put it on my married finger
just in case people start asking questions.
Well, there.
You have chosen the Ring of the Ram.
Because of how popular I am,
I often get flirted with.
And I'm like, I'm on a mission.
I can't cloud my judgment.
I'm not interested.
I'm a solo guy. What are't cloud my judgment. I'm not interested. I'm a solo guy
What are you interested in?
Goblin friend this little figurine of the elephant looks kind of cute. It's the marble elephant. What does it do?
You can use it to transform the figurine into a real elephant
It only works once a week
A real elephant? However, it only works once a week.
You sound like wondrous to me.
What about this chime?
It turns into a fucking elephant.
That's a pretty big deer.
I like you.
Thank you.
What about this chime of opening?
I'm terribly mysterious.
This chime of opening.
You can use it to open
anything
yes
anything that is locked
even a vault
that's pretty
got the top
I like the sound
you're a fucking elephant
that's one dress as can be
you're going to take
the chime of opening
I like the sound of opening things.
All right, well, you have one more choice
on behalf of young master Candlecoop.
Elephant, elephant, elephant.
He did say leave everything to me.
Elephant, elephant.
No, he didn't, no.
Elephant.
We simply believe that you should take his share.
I am the leader.
Elephant.
Elephant.
Very well, you may take the figurine of wondrous power.
It turns into a large elephant
I've always wanted that
I'm not going to use it
I'm joking
It was funny though
You're all laughing
Birdie's laughing
Oh jeez
Hey I lost you all
At hey it's Birdie
Why did you get out of prison?
Why?
Not how
Why?
What do you mean?
I got out Why? I walked out the door Well Why? Not how, why? What do you mean? I got out.
Why?
I walked out the door.
Well, actually, that's not true.
I walked out...
So you've broken out of prison?
What?
No, I used this thing.
I'm pointing at my helmet.
It does look like a thing.
It doesn't matter how you get out of prison.
You've broken out of prison.
Now the law's on our ass.
No, it is fine, Master Mbamba.
As the agreement was for the Silverhand's assistance in retrieving Mr. Bertrand from
prison...
What?
It is seemly to be a matter of time before we can get him out of prison. The law's on our ass. No, it was fine, Master Bamba. As the agreement was for the Silverhand's assistance
in retrieving Mr. Bertrand from prison...
What?
It seems that that was the agreement he made originally.
We are willing to waive his escape attempts.
How did we get all those things?
Found them.
Where?
In a chest.
Where was the chest in the prison?
Yeah
No, where?
No, yeah, it was
No, where?
In the prison
Where in the prison?
I don't know, around the back
The prison was huge, okay
I was doing my thing
Met a couple people
Like a screaming toad thing
What?
Oh, and I just found these things and boom
We've met this toad
Have we not?
No, we haven't
That was a dream
No, you haven't
Was there anyone guarding this chest?
Am I awake?
Uh, no
Where am I?
I blew up a wall
And that's how you got out?
You blew up a wall?
And then found these things
Struct structural damage?
Maybe.
Are we going to be along with that Bill?
Bill?
Who's Bill?
He's back.
He's back.
He's back.
I'm back, hey.
Now that Mr. Bertram has been returned to you,
I'm also being told to give you some information
regarding your prize.
This construct with the stone, I believe.
Yes.
It was last seen.
You did some digging around after you left.
Extremely aggressive.
Couldn't even get near it.
Well, it seems to have made its way to the docks ward,
where it was seen entering the carnival of the Sea Maiden's Fair.
We're not sure.
We believe it to have boarded one of the two
ships docked at the harbour,
the Heartbreaker,
or the Hellraiser.
The other ship that is part of the Seamade's Fair,
the Eyecatcher, is anchored out
in the harbour itself, and we do not
believe it has made its way across there.
Hmm.
We believe that is your best
place to begin looking for your missing
construct
Asking round where it may be
Very well
That fella from a bar said he could get me in
Which one?
Mert
Ah, Mert Moneylender
Quite the prominent figure
in Waterdeep, my goblin friend
Yeah, we're buds.
Good.
Best buds. An excellent friend
to have.
Well, let's go.
Ah, excellent. I want more
treasure. Well, there'll be more for you.
I believe that there
is an agreement that if you recover this
prize, there is an award waiting
for you. Absolutely.
Well, good luck, my young
entering friend.
You can see his
red robes, his long grey
beard. He puts on like a big pointy
wizard red hat.
Well, do tell the Silverhand
that it was
a pleasure to work with her again.
And if anybody asks, tell them Elminster sent you.
And then he vanishes.
Whoa.
All right.
Hey, who's that guy?
I love how that name means nothing to you people.
Not at all.
Who's that guy?
Elminster.
Who?
Santa Claus.
Oh! It did look a bit like Santa, actually.
Like a wizard-y Santa.
Put your foot out by the door.
I bet he went invisible. He's just sneaking away.
With his
winged boots? It's already too late.
He's already gone past you, probably.
Oh.
Hey, did I tell you guys I was in prison?
Let's go. Oh you probably. Oh. Hey, did I tell you guys I was in prison? Let's go.
Oh, I missed you.
I missed you too.
I feel like I'm third wheeling here.
Can we go?
Yeah, let's go to the Yawning Portal and see if I can pick up Merp.
I just came from there.
I just walked for like an hour.
Come on, buddy.
Good boy.
Here we go.
Good boy.
Buddy, you don't need to
walk there. I don't.
I don't know. Would Bertie know?
I think what I'm going to do is
start walking out and then just
I'll slowly levitate.
I was thinking the helm, but yeah.
I guess like... I'll just start flying.
Okay. So you watch. As you guys
start exiting, you start walking
along and Bertie just start flying in the air.
Fine, I'll go.
And you just...
Get down here!
Huh?
Hey!
Whoa!
Get down!
What do you mean?
Get down.
I don't know how.
Aquamaba!
It starts turning.
It's falling away!
You gotta pop, buddy!
You gotta pop!
I don't get that reference.
It's still like just floating towards the yawning pool.
It's just like...
I'll see you there!
It's like loads of kids are like...
Mummy, look at the floating man!
Click your boots or something.
It's part of the parade.
Click your butt.
I can do that for four hours.
I'll just leave him.
It probably takes you four hours of just slowly rotating to reach the yawning portal.
We are very dizzy by the time you get there.
I slap against the window and grind up.
Can I try and make a rudimentary
lasso?
Sure, you've got rope.
Just like...
Just make a straight...
Like someone proposing.
I've always loved you.
So, as you're flying by,
I can imagine a lasso's your foot
with a rope and he's now got you like a big
balloon. Just gonna wrap it around
my wrist
you're probably like
lifted off
you're a tiny little
like halfling
you're like
woah
what I tied
so tight to my hand
floating through
boomer
boomer getting away
boomer's just in hysterics
you're just following
this shit show
in hysterics
I'm so
he's just like
a halfling's on the road
mummy
look
stop looking at me kid damn it I'm so good with These are like Halflings on the road Mummy Look Stop looking at me kid
Damn it
I'm sorry
Don't look at me
I'm going to disguise
Self as a chair
A chair
Tied onto a rope
Just floating
Through the air
Eventually
Coming to rest
Your boots probably
Run out
Like
Four hours later
Yeah like near the
Yawning pool
You just slam
into the ground oh oh hey that was pretty fun I hate you oh hey there's the
chat I've got a sausage roll I've just been enjoying the show walking along
watching the entire thing food yeah food. And yeah, you see the familiar yawning porpoise.
Oh, can I go inside?
Yeah, you can go inside.
Durnan is there cleaning his glasses.
You can see a few...
It's the middle of the day, so there's not too many faces around.
Just maybe like a bard in the corner.
But yeah, you don't see Mert.
No Mert.
No.
I'm just going to go in.
Mert! Oh see Mert no Mert no I'm just going to go in Mert oh Mert
Dernan looks you
he's like
he's not here
where's he gone
I don't know
he does his own stuff
did he leave a note
he's an important man
did he leave a message
for good old Boomer
no
we had a date
good old Boomer
are you saying
he stood me up
yeah
sorry is Minsk around is Minsk around no no date. Good old Boomer. He's saying he stood me up. Yeah.
Is Minsk around?
Is Minsk around? No, no, it's almost nearly empty, apart from maybe like a
young band of adventurers, like level one adventurers.
They're sitting in the corner like
we're gonna go kill some rats.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't know.
It is
specifically in Durnan's character
in the Waterdeep Dragon Heist adventure
that he speaks in short, terse answers.
It wasn't even that, it was just...
Sorry.
Hey, you want Durnan to start talking like this?
Oh, no.
Hey, Durnan is from the Yoramu port.
No, I'm going to talk like this.
You're Durnan now. I'm talk like this. He's turning now.
I'm so unwell.
He's played by still bestest of them all.
He's got a fly face, but he's got a big body.
Yeah, what do you want?
I want my date.
Sorry, he's not here.
I'm so feverish and unwell.
I'm not sure if I'm actually here.
Or if I'm just dreaming this.
Oh, God.
You're right, that's not it.
Oh, God.
You know, it's probably gone on that Seamade and Spare.
Everyone's gone.
Sort yourself out, mate.
Oh, my God.
I don't know why.
I don't know why we're doing this.
Seamade and Spare, you say?
Probably. That's where a lot of people have been going
What's happened to your voice?
I don't know
Well we better piss off down to the barges then
Everybody's going down there
They're getting prepared for a day of wonder
Bye
Bye
Bye
Bye
Get back to cleaning his glasses
If you see him tell him Boomer's sad Alright Bye. Bye. Get back to cleaning his glasses.
If you see him, tell him Boomer's sad.
Alright.
Swallow it.
You know that Tom Hazel?
Mm-hmm.
He's got a seaman's... Delicious Rio.
Oh, good stuff.
Can we please go to the...
Yeah, you make your way down.
It takes you probably like another couple of hours
to make your way down to the harbour.
The Seaman's Fair is...
The Seaman's Fair is the name of the three ships
that have brought this carnival to Waterdeep.
And all along the docks, there's kind of wooden key.
They've set up little stands, stores, there's circus tents.
You can see that there are like wooden wagons with exotic animals which people are admiring
and looking at.
Some of them are brought out and do little laps with their trainers and their handlers.
You can see that there are lots of carnival folk around, all in brightly dressed outfits.
Jugglers, fire breathers, sword swallowers, all this kind of stuff and they're all mingling
around.
There are also, there's a lot of male sailors around which seem to be the actual crew for the sea maintenance fair.
There's also lots of carnival games.
Like knocking coconuts.
You can see like tossing hoops on stuffed owl bears
and all that kind of stuff.
Fish and ducks.
Yeah, fish and ducks.
A little, you know, scoop the coin out of the puddle
with a paper thing.
What?
Shut up.
That got classic. What the hell is that? the puddle with the paper paper thing. It's like a fan with a paper circle, and you've got to scoop.
I've never seen that. Never.
Never.
It's an Essex thing.
It's a water deep thing.
It's a water deep thing.
All right.
What a fucking hoot.
Having a great time.
Hoops.
Puddles.
And you can see around you lots of big floats are being constructed.
And the floats are all sorts of manner of crazy things.
Unicorns made from sort of like, you know, plaster and built over kind of like wireframes.
You can see that somebody is working on a model dragon costume,
which actually has like a flamethrower in the mouth and can breathe fire.
It has like leather wings. Somebody's made a large balloon shaped like a flamethrower in the mouth and can breathe fire and has like leather wings It's somewhat impressive
Somebody's made a large balloon shaped like a beholder
Oh my god
And out of the ice stalks are like magical lights and they're working on all of these things
Very impressive. Wasted time, but very impressive. Who would waste their time making up a beholder balloon, you know?
Is that real?
It's not real no it just looks good that guy that did the dragonhead
thing is that real he made weapons or something for me way more valuable anyway let's find your
dude what boats did you say hellraiser the hellraiser and the heartbreaker so there's three
ships because you'd learned this from before. So there's three ships, because you'd learnt this from Murk before anyway.
There's three ships in the Seabed Mains Fair.
The Heartbreaker and the Hellraiser, which are actually moored at the harbour.
You can see crew coming and going from them.
It seems that they house the performers, the animals,
a lot of the stands and goods and things like that.
And then out about a couple of miles into the harbour itself,
like on the water, is another ship, which you know is called the Eyecatcher.
And that looks much, much fancier.
It's got a really beautiful, elegant, you know, hull, engraved,
all sorts of different eyes and beautiful women kind of like gilded along the side,
big open sails.
If I was Mert, I'd go for that one. I'd be in there. I think it's
invitation only, mate. That was my way in.
Why don't you just ask?
Ask around, see if people know
if Mert's in there. Go on then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, Mert! But then also
didn't they... Start going around going, Mert!
Mert! Yeah, there's like
this kind of like scrappy looking farmer
who's like,
frustratedly trying to
win this ring toss game.
He's like,
here,
hello,
are you Mert?
Yeah,
I'm Mert.
Hey,
I found Mert.
Do I know you?
You don't know this one?
That's a fucking goblin,
no I don't know it.
I give a big old smile.
Jesus bloody,
no that's not a real thing.
Boy,
the gods.
You and me had a date mate
I don't know who the fuck you are
You tiny little monster bastard
Oh I don't dare you let me down like that
What are you bloody talking about
And then this woman like
Who's this goblin you're talking to
I do know love I've never seen this goblin before in my life
You're a merc mate there
Oh dear
Why are you copying my voice?
You said you wanted to
take me on a date.
I never bloody said that.
You were going to wind me
and doy me.
You're taking a goblin
on a date.
You said we were on a date.
He's like,
no, I am on a date with you.
I've never seen this goblin
in my life.
I think he's having you on,
sweetheart.
Deception shake.
Is this actually merc?
No.
Natural 20 Plus 6
She just looks
She's like
You bloody bastard
She slaps him
In front of everybody
Like
My mum was right about you
You are a bastard
You goblin loving bastard
There there darling
He's like
Get the fuck away from me goblin
He's like
No love
Time to go I think!
He like looks at you and he's just like
You fucking, what are you doing?
Look, you're being very mean to Boomer.
I don't know who Boomer is!
Shouldn't turn people down like that mate.
You shouldn't get my hopes up and then break my heart.
Why are you doing this to me?
Why have you done that?
You said you were going to woo woo me wind me and die me and
bring me flowers and then this is how you treat me you bring your other troll up to the bed
i'm getting mad i've lost my mind what's going on it's like you're like raised i'm fine guards
guards i think i'm going crazy i'm off yeah you're just leaving this man's like Where'd she go
I spent months filming the Goat's Master here
I ran off
Because I love goblins
God's pardon for taking me
I feel better now
Headed to the fancy ship
So the fancy ship is out on the water
God damn it I've said that like three times Yeah and also Send it to the fancy ship. So the fancy ship is out on the water.
I've said that like three times.
Yeah, and also the wizard said that the construct was last seen on the other two ships.
Okay, I'm going to head for the Hellraiser.
I swear to God, one day you will listen to me.
Please, please.
I try so hard every week I got really distracted
by that
Yeah I know
Retain mem information
So you go to one of the other boats
Hellraiser
Okay
Yeah so you make your way over to the Hellraiser
Um
There I see the construct
Holding a stone
This burly
Burly hairy looking man
sort of stops you.
Excuse me sir, where do you think you're going?
Inside.
I'm afraid that you can't just come on the ship sir.
Look on your list.
I don't have a list for the ship.
We should.
Only crew is allowed on the ship.
Then anybody can get in.
What?
Yeah, I know, only crew is allowed.
I'm a member of the crew, look at the crew list.
He looks down at you.
You are not on this crew, sir.
I am.
Champ person.
You cast champ person?
Yeah, wisdom saving throw.
You are so fucking lucky.
Yeah, his eyes seem to glaze over for a minute. And he's like, that's so strange, I don't...
Captain?
You want to speak to the captain?
No, you refer me as the captain.
But you're not the captain.
No, I'm not. I'm kidding with your friend.
I know.
You're such a crazy one.
All right, guys, come on, let's load up.
No, friend, we can't bring them on the board.
They're my crew.
It's bad enough that I let you on. But we're part of Zordzada's entourage.
Ah, friend, come on.
No, I know that this is not true.
You are not part of Zik.
Okay, I'll see you outside.
Freaking racist.
I almost had him.
I almost had him.
Ah, this Joker.
All right, see you later, asshole.
My good friend.
Racist.
All right, you want to speak to the captain?
Yes, please.
All right, sure, come on board. All right. Great. Ah, so good to see you good friend. Racist. All right, you want to speak to the captain? Yes, please. All right, sure.
Come on, boy.
All right.
It's so good to see you, friend.
You know, when he puts an arm around you, he's like...
Actually, do you know where the toilets are?
What, on the ship?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to go to Levy?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, wee-wee-wee.
Downstairs.
All right, can you join me?
Yeah, of course.
See you.
Wee-wee, come with me.
All right, down here.
He's like, you know, friend, and as he gets you on the ship,
he leads you up onto a little gangplank,
takes you up on the ship.
And you notice it's mainly like a male crew working.
You can see several dockhands.
A couple of them seem to be more senior,
giving orders and that sort of thing.
There's lots of supplies.
There's a beautiful figurehead of a naked woman
at the front of the ship.
It looks almost like demonic,
kind of has like a succubus kind of form,
the Hellraiser kind of, you know, keeping the theme.
And as he kind of brings you on and he starts taking you into the ship and down the stairs, he's like,
Yeah, friend, you know, it's not often that we let, you know, people like you on board.
You're a very good friend of mine. I know you know that.
I know. It's so good that you keep our secret.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is...
We know about that.
But we really are.
Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, my friend. you know what i kept
it such a secret i forgot die you play another prank on me you want to see i got terrible memory
he just puts his arm what if i what if you're an imposter what do you mean what's the secret
so i gotta let you know that you're not an imposter. What are you talking about? Come on, give me a persuasion but with advantage
because your teeth chomped.
16 plus five, so it's 21, 26, 29.
It's like, oh, you know that we're not really,
we're not really sailors from Luskan,
you know what I mean?
You know, I can't dispel.
You're not an imposter.
I can't dispel, dispel.
You know, it's controlled, so I can't get rid of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know.
Where is this bathroom?
He points you down. He's like, oh, you just go down there,
my friend. He's on the left, next door.
Who's there?
All right. Knock him out.
Okay.
Cool.
You're on your own on this ship right Yep
Is there anyone blocking our path
So the ship you could walk on it
But you can see there are
Dozens of these sailors all working
And watching Aquamumba
Being led on by a member of their crew
They're very they're keeping a very close
Eye on the rest of you they're kind of watching
The two of you very very closely uh go ahead make your attack
I use sleep sting actually which is a my sleep sure can yep so you yeah wash is
over uh 5d8 no don't bother rolling don't bother rolling. Plus a billion. Don't bother rolling.
I don't think... I think he might be looking at a monster in particular.
What are the other two of you doing while I look up something about Charles Burson?
Trying to find our own way on.
Yeah, so is there anyone blocking the...
So yeah, the gangplank, you could walk up it,
but you would very quickly be spotted and stopped by somebody.
And there's not really any way to hide either
because it's just a gangplank up onto an open ship deck.
Is there any way to get into windows in the side or anything?
There's not really windows because it's a ship.
Portholes?
I mean, they do, but they're generally closed with glass.
There's none that are open, certainly, that you can see.
You... I'd say that from where you are, no, it doesn't look like there's anything open that
would give you immediate access. Either you have to sneak your way on board or
find some way to get through into the other part of the ship.
Okay You're successful
He's asleep
Yeah, the charm person doesn't get ended actually
Even if you
Oh, actually, this might be part of the charmed condition
No?
Okay
So charmed and asleep
He's not asleep
The dust kind of
Oh my god, I'm so sorry My thing went off charmed and asleep. So he's charmed. He's asleep. You cast, you kind of, the dust kind of,
he's like,
what are you doing? Oh my God,
I'm so sorry.
My thing went off.
It's in it.
Let me take it out.
Oh my God.
How could I possibly do that
to my dear friend?
Oh my God.
What are you doing?
Just pulling out the sleep sting.
He's like,
it's like,
oh,
it's like,
you should have been more careful.
I really should.
Lucky,
lucky that sort of thing
doesn't work on me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Push!
Make an attack roll.
This is going to break the charm.
No matter what, this is going to break the charm.
Is that with advantage as well, or...?
No.
I mean, yeah, actually, he's surprised,
so yeah, it would be good.
Could I use my chime of opening to open a porthole?
Yes, you could.
You'd have to pick a specific one, but you could, yeah.
What does it say on the charm of opening?
Point an object within 120 feet.
A lock, a latch on the object opens
unless the sound can't reach it.
A latch would open it, yeah.
Yeah.
What did you get, Tron?
33.
33 definitely hits him.
Boosh! Roll damage. Yeah. What did you get, Tron? 33. 33 definitely hits him. BOOSH!
Roll damage.
1d4 plus 4.
I'm going to do Flurry of Blows as well.
Okay.
5.
So 5 damage, and then you're going to hit him twice more with Flurry of Blows.
That's right.
Sure.
Oh boy. following a blaze that's right oh boy natural one but I got a 22 still it was
six yeah it's damage by okay these aren't surprising anymore, are they? No.
Okay, fine.
First one was surprising.
Surprise!
Samoosh!
Yeah, it's going to hit?
Yep.
Kaplowie!
Six.
Oh, just enough.
So you punch him.
God, don't get there!
As you hit him, you want,
your fist kind of partially goes through his face, is kind of these blubbery jowls
And as the image
The illusion flickers
You see a dark skinned
Black skinned elf
With pointed ears and white hair
Flickers for a moment
And then you just boom boom
And he goes down cold
Now are you killing him or are you knocking him out
Okay so he's unconscious
Okay so you tie him up Give me a dex check just to see how well you killing him or are you knocking him out? Knocking him out. Okay, so he's unconscious. I'm going to tie him up with my hemp and rope. Okay, so you tie him up.
Give me a dex check.
Just see how well you tie him up.
I mean, it's half an hour left, right?
Yeah.
Spend all of them.
Spend everything.
Do it.
I'm not going to take these for myself next time.
Good.
I'll take half of them.
Five.
Five.
Okay, plus.
So how much?
29.
29, yeah, okay.
So 29 on rope. Yeah, so you tie him up really quickly. So how much? 29. 29, yeah, okay. So 29 on rope.
Yeah, so you time up really quickly.
Put him in the bathroom.
Lock it from the inside.
How are you going to lock it from the inside?
Do it really quickly.
Nope.
Turn my head real quick and see the front of my face.
I feel like for you that is possible.
Wow!
If you turn that fast enough, your face...
Do you have the cantrip mage hand?
I do.
Then you can mage hand.
Yes!
Then you can mage hand.
So you lock him in the bathroom,
and you are now down in the bottom of this top.
This guy suffers him.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
So the top half of you is completely illusionary.
You're kind of having to use the illusion to speak.
But you can do it.
So you make yourself look like this deckhand.
Okay.
This big deckhand.
Sure.
I'm going to strut out.
So yeah, as you start going down the corner,
you see another head kind of sticks their way down.
What was all that noise?
ignore it!
why was you bringing him on board?
he's got terrible bowels
he's got terrible bowels
okay
just make sure
you know don't
he's an old friend of mine come on I'll let him off immediately
our secret won't get out
alright okay I mean I'm not going to tell the captain you brought him on board you're wasting my time Come on, I'll let him off immediately. Our secret won't get out. All right, okay.
I mean, I'm not going to tell the captain
you brought them on board.
You're wasting my time.
Okay.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, so you,
pating,
and one of these portholes,
probably near the kind of top half of the ship,
probably near like the captain's quarters kind of thing,
so it would be above water level,
and it would be the easiest one to target with the chime.
Just opens up.
Okay.
But if you kind of like...
Now, the people in the carnival would potentially see you
if you tried to jump across, but the people on the ship won't,
because they're working up on the ship,
the porthole's here, the harbour is here,
and then the carnival is all the way down.
Yeah.
Can I see into the port hole?
Yeah. Okay. Hey,
are you trying to get in there? Yeah.
Cool. No. I'm going to pick her up.
No. No. Bertie,
we talked about this.
You appear in what appears to be a very
stately ship,
a captain's quarters. I now have to look stately ship, a captain's quarters.
I now have to look up what's in the captain's quarters.
Oh, no.
If it's the captain, I'm going to be hella pissed.
You want to get in there.
It's a very opulent cabin's quarters.
There are stylish purple drapes that cover large windows, which you've just popped through.
To one side of a central pillar is a comfortable bed
um it's got a it's oak headboard is carved to resemble a kraken an oak dining table surrounded
by six high back chairs rests on the opposite side um there is a glass door cabinet containing
shelves and books a wooden trunk with a padlock and a small writing desk sat at which is a very
well dressed
looking merchant man
he turns to you with big
big bushy sideburns
looks at the two of you
we just pop into existence
oh we're close there
hey
it worked
I'm curious It worked How curious
May I ask what you are doing teleporting onto my ship?
Oh mate, I don't feel so well
You're not going to feel much better I'm afraid
What?
With a click of his fingers
No
He turns invisible
Oh, he did the same thing as me
Buddy, get us out of here now Roll initiative he turns invisible oh he did the same thing as me buddy
get us out of here now
roll initiative
please
we might as well
as well
aquamumber
okay
I hate you Tom Hazel
cocked
I love this
thank you so much
you did heal up to full
just in case anybody was wondering
I don't want to fight again
boomer's not in a fighty mood.
Well, you just teleported into the castle.
I didn't ask for it!
I know you didn't, but it's happened.
Bertie.
So I got...
An initiative.
14.
Boomer.
Three.
Aquamumber.
12.
12.
Okay. So, Bertieumber. 12. 12. Okay.
So, Bertie, you are going first.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Look at me.
So cute.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Look at you.
Look at me.
Okay.
I mean, as far as I'm concerned, he just did the same thing I did
Then again, Bertie doesn't know what it looks like
to teleport
But also he went invisible, so how do you know he teleported?
He just went invisible
That's what I mean. Would he know that that's what happens
to him? Would Bertie know much?
Hmm
That's a good point
Cool
Did I have a chance to get off the Bertie get me out of here I mean yeah I'd say that you did yeah on that case
I'm just gonna walk walk so you go to leave through the door no no I'm gonna
stay I'm gonna walk towards like the desk and just look at it okay you start
looking where he disappeared okay gonna walk over there like, oh, cool. Okay. He's gone.
Hey, Bulma.
You just left.
No, he's still here, mate.
And that's the six seconds.
If I don't get you killed, I'm going to be amazed.
I feel like me and Mark are on this side of the table as people actively working against you.
I mean, I'm not actively doing shit.
I mean, controlling energy. I react to your mental crazy plans.
I'm going to lick your dice and hope you catch whatever it is I have.
Oh, we've already got it.
Really?
If you can feel it, then you didn't get it from Kim today.
Yesterday.
Yeah, probably.
Okay. and you didn't get it from Kim today. Yesterday. Yeah, probably. Okay, so you, Bertie,
you feel something move away from you.
So you've moved up to the desk
and you're by the window.
So you're kind of at the back of the captain's quarters
and you've got this column in the middle
and then Bertie's to one side.
Bertie, you feel something move away from you
towards the door
and then you begin
to hear the sizzle as
the air begins to electrify.
And a lightning bolt
springs out of his
invisible hand.
Both of you, can you make dexterity saving
throws, please?
With disadvantage.
Oh, fuck, I can use dice.
Are you ready?
I'm so dumb.
What is wrong with me?
Why am I still...
Why do you let me play this?
20 there, so 31.
31. Thank you.
I made a 31.
You made a 31. That's a success.
You're still going to take half damage.
I forgot about the dice and rolled a 2.
You're going to take full damage.
It's going to take a lot of dice to save that.
Can you hear the dice he's doing?
Oh!
That's a real bad one.
Oh god!
I don't think I've ever rolled
like a fireball or lightning bolt this well
in my life.
Oh!
Can you kill two characters in one session?
47
points of damage.
So that's 23 to Boomer.
Oh my god.
That's absurd.
You hear this
crackle and this blast of thunder.
The window
probably smashes as this
force erupts outwards.
Oh, fuck!
And I collapse.
What? You're on punches.
Yes.
I'm loving it. I love it.
I love it.
Boomer! I should point out
this play is still invisible.
I give up. I suggest that you put your
weapons on the ground
Can I wet myself a little bit?
Very well
I give up and I put everything down
Turn around, put yourself face down
on the ground
It's a bit damp here
Do it
You feel like
you feel another spell,
and something webs all of your body.
It kind of ties you up with thick webs.
Here we go with Bertie.
Can you make me one death saving throw?
Can I still have my necklace on?
As you're going down,
do you want to try and hide that?
Yeah.
Sleight of hand check.
And the chimes, maybe?
Yeah, sleight of hand check.
Natural 20.
Oh my god. Okay.
We'll come to you in a minute. You're on one hit point.
That's like the fourth natural 20 I've rolled for Death's Slave.
You're on one hit point.
17, 18...
28.
41.
41.
Can I have the necklace and the chime of opening? 41 41 Okay You can
Can I have the necklace
And the chime of opening
You can have
One or the other
One or the other
Chime of opening
So you
You secrete the chime of opening
Where are you gonna hide it
Up the butt
No
In my trouser
Okay
So you hide it
In like your little goblin trouser
Yeah
Why was that the fuck Up the butt That's where you hide it in your little goblin trowel. Why was that the foot?
Of the butt.
That's where you hide stuff when you're being taken prisoners of age.
I'm standing in front of an invisible wizard dude,
and he's just standing there like...
You can make it look like part of giving up somehow.
Plus the sleight of hand, right?
Part of giving up!
Prisids. You win! given up somehow. That's the sleight of hand, right? I'm giving up! Pretends.
You win!
So, Bertie,
Bertie,
you crack one eye
open and you can see
this kind of invisible force
wrapping Boomer up in these
webs. Uh-huh.
You're on one hit point. What do you do?
And Boomer's just given up.
He's like, I give up.
And then he's like getting webbed up.
I respect someone who is stronger than me.
So I suppose I have some semblance of like,
I can see sort of where he is now.
You can see this, yeah.
Like webs coming out of vaguely where this person is.
He is still invisible,
so you'd still gain the benefits of invisibility.
You'd have disadvantage to attack rolls against him.
Boomer!
I'm going to rage and just
slam towards him
and just massive punch.
Big punch. One big punch.
One big punch.
Great. One punch.
One punch!
I want to ice this dude. 18 like million.
Yeah, you hit!
Um, how much damage do I do again? Like 20,000?
5.
It's not far off. I think it's 1d6 and then plus your bonuses.
He's probably really OP as well.
Oh yeah, I'm attacking with fucking A, aren't I?
So it's a d6.
Not fucking B.
But you do get your rage bonus d4 plus six
so eight
Strength is ridiculous. I can't remember what rage gives me as well plus two melee damage so ten damage
Okay
So you run up you had disadvantage on that attack roll by the way, but you rolled a bunch of extra dice
I can't imagine you're gonna miss. Yeah, even that's 40
So even you just know where this invisible creature is you swing fucking a
Wham it connects you hear like you see like some black purple blood kind of spray out as you just hear the
Your goblin friend appears to be a lot smarter than you are
And you are slammed by several magical missiles.
Should I just go down?
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to roll it.
I don't think I can do enough damage to completely KO you.
No, I can't.
So you are just down.
Okay.
Just stay down.
Huh?
Yeah.
So, Boomer, you are picked up.
Aquaman, but during all of this,
you are currently at the bottom of the boat.
What do you do?
I'm going to wander towards the south.
You start making your way up?
Okay.
Sneaking around corners and stuff.
Okay, so you sneak your way up.
Boomer, you are just picked up by this force.
He shimmers back in, and you see whatever illusion,
the kind of merchant you saw before, has faded.
And now you see a drow male with these kind of very pristine-looking robes.
The form wavers, and the merchant sailor comes back.
It's like it just comes back automatically.
Like it was temporarily disabled, and then it comes back.
He hoists you over your shoulder.
Your mouth is all gagged up with web as well. like it was temporarily disabled and then it comes back he hoists you over your shoulder your mouth
is all ganged up with web as well um he just tucks you under one arm um and just begins carrying you
away leaving boom uh bertie there but can you make three death saving throws well basically
keep making them until you succeed or fail that was pretty cocked dude that literally fell down
thing it landed on so the context
it landed like it's like half it has ended on 13 it was in a groove okay roll
it flat all right I'm also gonna add some dice cuz that scared me so six with
a another nine on top of that so it's a success and then two successes one fail oh wait just two successes
yeah so three successes okay three successes so um roll a d4 for me uh okay it's gonna take me
two hours two hours okay is all my stuff still in the room um so it's currently webbed up on you
uh you are you are kind of taken downstairs. You are basically, you see
sunlight, but then very quickly
are taken down below deck.
Akumam, we'll say that you're
kind of present as you hear
this voice like, hey, get a couple
of these sailors together.
This kind of captain figure with a kind of royal
hat appears and several of them
come together and one gesture is like, come on,
the captain needs us. Yes, yes.
He turns down and
he deposits a webbed up
boomer. This goblin
and Goliath
teleported into my chambers.
That is quite interesting.
Take this one and go up and
check the body of the larger
one, see if it is dead or not.
I left it bleeding out.
If it is still alive, bring it down.
We'll take them to
Jarl Axel, our body eye catcher.
And then there's a sort amongst yourselves
who is doing what, but some of you take this one
down below and some of you take it
to the others.
As soon as that person leaves, then I'll step in.
Okay.
Stand aside!
Who are you?
This is my problem.
Who are you to be giving orders?
What?
Who are you to be giving orders?
It is my fault.
I feel responsible.
Oh, don't hear the catlet.
The captain...
That's why I say,
up to your left.
Okay.
Right.
Which one do you want to deal with?
The one upstairs or this one?
You throw that one in the toilet or something. Which one? This one? The goblin? Yes. All right, I deal with it you want to deal with? The one upstairs or this one? You throw that one in the toilets or something.
Which one? This one? The goblin? Yes.
Alright, I deal with it. I'll deal with the big one.
Okay. Alright. Big problem.
Big responsibility. Okay.
So, Boomer,
they kind of drank you to the side
and as Aquaman believes,
they basically start
just stabbing you with
poisoned tips.
And you kind of try and resist it,
but eventually you just feel yourself fall asleep
from the amount of poison they're putting in you.
You are knocked unconscious.
They take everything except your chime.
So they basically strip your gear.
They take absolutely everything away.
And then you feel...
You've got bombs.
Yeah, they take everything.
Everything except your chime of opening and your clothes.
But you still keep the chime, because you managed
to find that. Yeah, they let you keep your
clothes. Oh, they keep them. Yeah.
You head upstairs, Aquamumber,
and you see the captain is
kind of on deck, making a show of organising
more carnival activities.
And he just gestures to the
captain's quarters and says, the problem
is in there. Thank you.
And yeah, you go inside and you find Bertie on the ground,
big smouldering lightning bolt, like, scorch mark on his chest.
Oi.
Medicine check.
Yeah, you can make a medicine check.
So you make the check and it does look like, you know,
he's alive, he's just unconscious.
What can I do?
He's alive.
I quite like this.
I can't do anything.
I'm just going to start moving the body.
So you start trying to drag the body.
Is there a window?
Yeah, there is a smashed window, yeah.
I'm huge, by the way. Yeah, you're going to window I'm huge by the way
Yeah, you're going to need to make some strength checks
to try and move this guy
You're tiny by the way
Why are you talking?
It's just going to be strength checks
You're going to have to make strength checks to try and move him
Wee on him
That's how you fix people being unconscious
Outside the boat, at the window
Water Don't I'm glad you looked That's how you fix people being unconscious. And outside the boat, at the window, water.
Don't, don't.
I'm glad you looked.
But you wouldn't have.
I can't lift him.
So you're calling that out?
Yeah.
Okay, so a head kind of pokes in like, what's the matter?
I've just been given orders.
All right, just move him, move him.
Take him back to the port.
All right, just bring him down. No, we're going to take him downstairs. I have received new orders. All right, just move him. Take him back to the port. All right, just bring him down.
No,
we're going to
take him downstairs.
I have received
new orders.
Looks at you.
Give me a deception check.
I don't want someone
of this size on deck.
Deception check.
Rack it up, mate.
Rack it up.
Oh my God.
Do it me.
Wow.
That's what,
like,
do it Kim Richards.
15 dice,
gee.
Vigilium.
It's like,
you're taking him back into the city.
Yes, he's very valid.
Okay, well, we should at least take his gear.
Oh, yes, I'll take his gear.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
What?
You need my help for what?
Carry him.
You can carry him on yourself.
I recently broke my arm.
Okay.
He takes one arm.
Here's the problem. You're using the sky arm. Okay. So he takes one arm. Here's the problem.
You're using disguise self.
Yeah.
You're like tiny halfling disguising yourself as a tall human man.
Yeah.
Your arms aren't where the illusion's arms are.
So how are you going to solve this problem?
So you can make the illusion arms grab Bertie, but they've got no purchase.
I'm just going to pretend like I'm holding him up.
When in reality, he's taken the entire weight.
He's holding one arm. Okay, so you're going to just try and put an arm around him and be like,
oh, he's so heavy, I can't lift him.
Okay, give me a performance check.
See how well you can kind of play this off.
Thank you. check. See how well you can kind of play this off. 11 plus.
Hold on.
Performance.
14.
He looks. He's like, what are you doing?
You're not doing anything. You're not helping.
I told you I have a broken arm.
I'm doing as much as I can.
What's your spell safety, see?
That's a good question.
We're doomed.
It's 13.
Hang on a minute.
There's nothing fucking here.
This is an illusion.
Yes, of course.
I'm Alaskan.
He draws like a saber from his side.
He's like, who the fuck are you?
I'm going to run.
Wait, where do you want to run?
So he's currently blocking the front door that leads back onto the deck of the ship.
Disengage.
Uh-huh.
And use my ability as a monk.
What's it called?
Where are you going to escape the room?
Out the window.
So you're going to go out the broken window into the water.
I call Mamba.
Okay, yeah, you just...
You're like, hey, come back here!
And you just...
Dive in.
Fuck.
Someday you'll swim.
It's like a sea snake.
Yeah.
Full James Bond style.
Dragonized. So it is, as you dive under the water, Snake! Yeah. Full James Bond style. Very nice.
So it is, as you dive under the water,
you begin to see a form in the water
making its way towards the ship.
It appears almost like you think at first
a great manta ray.
But soon you see it's made of metal
with a glass front.
A submarine is making its way towards the other boat
as you just desperately manage to get down amongst some kelp.
As you hide, as this submarine pulls in,
a small little hole on the bottom of the boat, like a hatch,
it connects to the submarine as it begins to open.
As you see, Bertie and Boomer
are both hauled aboard the submarine.
You just about get some consciousness
to see a very flamboyantly dressed drow man
with an eyepatch, a bejeweled eyepatch,
a long hat with a big peacock's feather.
Look down.
Well, well, well, what do we have here?
I'd be very welcome to have some new
guests aboard the eye catcher
always fun to have
guests of Jarl Axel
Banre
and that's where we're going to pretty much finish up today
so were you telling me
him jumping off the boat worked
kind of
yeah I knew where you were going
how's the dragon he's not going to dive in after him like a lunatic.
It's Aquamamba.
Yeah, Aquamamba.
Aquamamba.
I can't believe you actually saw a submarine.
That's pretty cool.
And that's in Waterdeep.
This is genuinely in the module.
That's really cool.
What the hell?
So the thing with this module, by the way, right,
is there are four ways that you can run it. It depends on the season you play in. So we're with this module, by the way, right, is there are four ways that you can run it.
Like, it depends on the season you play in.
So we're playing in autumn,
which means that there is a specific villain,
and this specific villain, Jarl Axel,
has a fucking submarine.
And I was just like, that is the one I am running.
There's some really good other ones.
The other ones are really, really cool.
One of my favorite ones is, I think, Summer,
which is really fucking cool as well. But this ones is i think summer um which is really cool
as well but this one i was like submarine james bond of course yes please holy crap uh so you are
currently aboard you are taken prisoner aboard uh jarlaxle banre's submarine do i get a long rest um
no long sleepy rest no poisoning you man teleporting directly into the Drought Captain's quarters.
Thanks, mate.
You're a real pal, friend.
And encountering the Drought Mage Captain.
How many D6 is Lightning Bolt?
So it's normally eight, but he cast it at fifth level, so it was ten.
Ten D6.
Wait.
And I did 47 points of damage.
I rolled so fucking well.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Jeez.
It's a good thing.
However, I'm going to give you a little something.
You can all level up.
Oh, wow.
And that resets HP, though, right?
Huh?
That resets HP.
No.
In a video game.
In Final Fantasy.
Wow.
In Final Fantasy.
I gave you some magic items.
Okay.
Rig of the Ram.
I have not got them anymore.
He took my elephant.
He's also going to take all of Bertie's ones as well, I'm afraid.
No.
No.
Hey, me again.
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