High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: Christmas Special 2019 - Dungeon of the Mad Mark

Episode Date: December 9, 2019

This episode was filmed live as part of the Yogscast Jingle Jam 2019, a month long event of streams and fund raising for hundreds of charities! Head to humblebundle.com/yogs to get over $700 worth of games for just $30 and raise some money for charity! Also, thank you to Matt C for creating the fantastic Jazzy Christmas Aerois remix used in today's episode! Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Alcohol and select markets. See app for details. Ho, ho, ho. Welcome everybody to the High rollers christmas special this was streamed live for the yogscast jingle jam which raises money every december for loads of different charities through humble bundle if you're listening in december why not check out humblebundle.com slash yogs to get over 700 dollars worth of games for just 30 dollars and all of that money goes to charity save the world get a ton of games pretty good deal if you ask me anyway today we're entering the dungeon of the games for just $30. And all of that money goes to charity. Save the world, get a ton of games. Pretty good deal if you ask me. Anyway, today we're entering the Dungeon of the Mad Mark,

a grueling dungeon filled with deadly traps, monsters and fiends all run by the devilish dungeon master Mark Humes. Bringing characters old and new, we're jumping into this at just level 1, but with the donations of our lovely community we're granted level ups at every donation goal. Also, once one of our characters dies we then bring in a new fresh character to face the horrors that Mark has set out for us. So, let's find out if a horde of level 1 chumps can take down the dungeon of the Mad Mark. Welcome, friends, to a brand new High Rollers Christmas special. Here for the Jingle Jam as part of the Yogscast Jingle Jam 2019, I am your Dungeon Master A mad dungeon master this week. Mark Humes.

We are here for High Rollers special Dungeon of the Mad Mark. Mwahaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. It's a special one-off. So if you've never watched High Rollers before, don't worry. It's going to be all different sorts of characters with a very different style of game. And it's all raising money for the Jingle Jam.

Which if you go to humblebundle.com money for the jingle jam yeah you can get the humble bundle full of great games and raise this money for charity we'll see loads of raising we're gonna see loads of money coming in yeah loads of raising loads of raising raise the roof raise up raise up i want to see loads of money coming in from the high rolls community we're raising money for great causes there's a whole bunch of charities you get a whole bunch of cool games yeah do it we're gonna set the initial goal for just 2,000. We're going to have a goal of 2,000 and I'll explain why in a moment. Today

we're doing a very special episode of High Rollers. It's a meat grinder. A dungeon. A special dungeon. The gloves are off, guys. I'm sick and tired of being called a mean DM. So the gloves are off. You want to see a mean DM? You're going to see one want to see a mean DM? Uh-huh.

You're going to see one today. I know, right? Me too. But why? I'm here for it. Because it's fun. It's fun. I'm ready for it.

Ready for it. So there's some special rules about today's stream. Each player has three characters at level one. Yeah. Right? They've got a store

of three characters each. When that character dies, there's no raise dead. There's no revivify. They're done. They're gone. Right? What about death saves? Death saves? Well guess what, you have to roll a 15 or higher for death saves. Oh my god! 15 or higher to succeed on a death saving throw. That's hard. Whenever the party takes a long rest, your maximum HP goes down by one. What? You're going to gain XP directly after beating monsters

or solving traps and puzzles. Also, you'll level up when we hit our donation goal. So as soon as we hit the donation goal, you level up. Nice. Donate! Donate!

Oh my God! You're going to need to, right? You're going to have until the end of this stream to escape the dungeon of the Mad Mark. Right? Okay. Which I'll tell you about in a minute, right? Self-titled. Self-titled, yeah. Dungeon of the mad mark, right? Okay. Which I'll tell you about in a minute, right?

Self-titled. Self-titled, yeah. Dungeon of the Mad Mark, right? That's how mad it is. When you level up, I'm going to give you three minutes to level up. Any unfinished decisions, you wait till next time. Right? You're going to be like... I love it! Combat encounters in the

game are perfectly balanced. They will get progressively... Perfectly balanced. They'll get harder the deeper in the game are perfectly balanced. They will get progressively... Perfectly balanced. They'll get harder the deeper in the dungeon you progress. Awesome. So you're going to need to level up. You're going to need donations to help you level up. Traps, however...

Why don't we go into our new characters and level one again? And it's harder. Yes. Oh! Wow! Just go back to the same point and just stop. Yes. And just die over and over again.

We'll see. Maybe I'll be kind. He will be kind. Combat encounters, like I said, they will be slightly balanced. However, traps are on the other scale. All traps are set to deadly damage. Which means that they have a very high chance of killing you outright. If you trigger them.

But all of them are avoidable, detectable, beatable. Amazing. Right? No raised dead, revivify. When you're dead, you're dead. New character comes in. You're gone. If you run out of the three characters,

you have to randomize on D&D Beyond your next one. Uh-huh. Okay, how many randomizers do we get? You get unlimited randomizers. Unlimited. But if you keep at least one of your three starting characters alive and escape, Daddy Mark's going to buy you a little special gift. Aww.

You get a special present. You get an Amazon gift card. You will get a present. You will get a present if you survive. A present is for me to be able to call you Daddy. Yeah, sure. It's like a genie, right? You name your present.

You get one wish. I was thinking you were going to go the other way. It would be like a horse head in the bottom of our bed. Right. Okay. All right, we good? You understand the rules? Yeah, I mean...

Please donate. We need your help. We need to level up. Please. Right. Legends speak of a great wizard, a powerful mage

of incredible power known throughout the multiverse as Marcus the Mad Mage. This mad mage has summoned a bizarre group of adventurers

from across time and space to test his malevolent meat grinder, a dungeon of traps, puzzles, and powerful creatures. Welcome, adventurers! You have little time, so listen well. Each of you has been placed under a terrible curse that will slowly drain away your life. To release the curse, you must find two keys and escape my dungeon. Beware, for many traps guard the way and I've invited many monstrous foes to live here. Some may help, some may hinder, some may harm. Help yourself to any treasure you find, you're going to need it.

If you do not escape before I get bored, the end of the stream, you'll all die a horrible death anyway. Oh, no. But if you do escape, I will give you a mighty gift. To show how kind and benevolent I am, here is a clue to your first key. Seek the moon beyond Thunder's Step, where autumn ends and time stands still.

That was longer than I expected. Seek the moon. I'm not repeating it. What? Seek the moon before thunder's step. Did he say autumn at any point? He did say autumn, but I can't remember

where it came. You're not kind at all. You're not kind. We only heard the message once. Did anyone in chat see that? Let me describe where you currently are. Room one. Oh, I have to draw this map as well.

Yeah, I'm not drawing the maps. I have to draw the map. You can decide on your scale if you want. A 25 foot by 25 foot square room. Stone floors and walls with a large mural on the western side depicting a robed man looming over a large archway amid a ruined and broken world.

The archway has two symbols carved into it, a crescent moon and a horned skull. Really? Yeah, just ruin that horned skull. There it is. Pass me the pen and I will draw some stuff for you. Oh. It's your iPad playing music.

Whose iPad is playing music? So, on the opposite... In fact, it's actually no time. Here you go, you take the pen. So, on the opposite side to the mural is a doorway. Okay. A wooden door. That's not me.

And then along the far edge, along the same side of the door, leading to the north and south, there are open passageways like corridors leading into other rooms. Wait, that's me. So. Leading north and south? Yes. So follow that thing that, yep, exactly like that. Okay.

Right. The one to the south, um, is a portcullis. There is an iron portcullis in the way. Um. Sure. Around the room in the four corners, there are four torch sconces. Four torches and iron sconces.

They blaze with a magical red light. Magical red light. Mark, someone's iPad is playing Christmas music and it's driving me insane. It's not me. It's not just the speaker. No, because they're... Probably the speaker. We've almost levelled up.

Guys, we've almost levelled up. Oh, oh, oh, we're going to do it. We're going to do up! Guys, we've almost leveled up! That would be handy, wouldn't it? Oh, oh, oh, come on! Right, and with that, who are you all playing initially? Sentry! So we have Sentry, the Warforged Paladin,

or Guardian Paladin, I guess. I'm playing Medium Size! So you're playing Medium Size. It's an elderly lady with cross eyes and she's a well we want to a future fortune teller

well we'll let do character introductions while I get my timer up so don't start levelling up okay oh I am

I am Quill I'm bringing Quill into the fight he is you don't know who Quill is Quill is an Arakokra cleric

so he's a bird man with one arm has he got one arm if he's a birdman. With one arm. Has he got one arm if he's level one? This is before the storm level one. Oooh! Can I have the wings? Sure! Oooh! I got a winged Quill. He's got 8 HP.

Great. Uh, I am playing... I'm bringing back Worthless. I played her in Dead Reckoning. It's your fucking phone! So I'm playing Worthless. She is a blood hunter, a fallen ASMR. But I'm doing her slightly earlier in her life. Less crazy. Yeah, less crazy.

Just after she was resurrected as a fallen ASMR. So not as crazy. Katie, who are you playing? I'm playing Sunshine. I'm a halfling ranger. And I have bright yellow hair and it's in bunches so that's a custom character for this guys your three minutes start now level up oh we're doing it it's all fixed hit points as far as it should be anyway um how do you level up

loading very slowly the internet is so boring here! Level 8, 1d8. Wait, is it fixed HP? It should be fixed HP. Okay, perfect, I don't need to worry about that. I'm done. Should we keep 2000 as the next goal? 3000. 3000 to get to level 3.

You can't just choose that sort of thing. I'm the DF mark. You need to stop talking and level up, you've got 2 and a half minutes. Fighting style, fighting style. Turns out, Claire ate a level up, you've got two and a half minutes. Fighting style, fighting style. Turns out, Claire ate a little too. I've got purses to give! Easy. They don't get anything.

Anything else? Abilities? Any abilities? No, no, no, no, no. Am I lost? Maybe spells? Oh, spells! Spells!

That's quite important there. I shouldn't have said anything. Oh my god, I didn't. I'm being far too kind. This isn't Marcus the Man. Marcus the Man wouldn't help. Marcus the Man would be trying to distract you. Known spells. By saying things like, you know, maybe I'm going to this isn't Marcus the man marks the man wouldn't help Marcus a man trying to distract you knowns by saying things like You know, maybe I'm gonna make some rolls while you guys are in here

Nice, I'm gonna do that one the searing smite. Whatever cool three minutes is far too long. I might make it two minutes. No Okay, damage all damage all damage. I'm leveled up. I'm good. I'm good. I'm done for being fixed HP We don't have to worry about Yeah, I'm gonna lower that. I'm good. I'm done. But being fixed HP. We don't have to worry about Yeah, I'm gonna lower that to two minutes no Okay, well that's a good start level two three donations. Oh We need your help, holy shit. Oh my god still go it won't let me press the button. Oh, no That's the same. That's good. You've already learned to Do we need minis by the way? No you don't. Should I just go grab some minis?

No. Okay. Well you might do. You don't get any new skills yet. I don't care. I don't care. I don't know. Right.

Sweet. I have the bloody curse of binding now. I don't know do you? It says in class features if you do. Yeah I do. Well I mean you've got a minute and ten seconds left so. Wow that's way too long. Well you can start exploring then can't you?

Don't forget you've got to get out of this dungeon by the time the stream finishes so any time that you fuck around like that's Your time you're wasting so okay over to the bird man Oh, no, what are you doing? Why stop it? She's beak okay cast friends friends. Don't I know that you're casting that Hello Who are you? I'm medium-sized Aww! Friends, don't I know that you're cast in that? Hello, birdie boy. Hello! Who are you? I'm medium-sized.

Oh! I can read your... ...claws. Talons, actually. You've got very nice hands. Human hands. I'm a supple, flexible birdie boy. What?

What? I'm so flexible, birdie boy. What? What? Um, do you know anything about this mural? You look intelligent. Yeah. Do I? What do you want to do? I'm going to...

Let's see if there's some history behind this. If I go back through the annals of my long and lengthy life on the mural. On the mural. Make a history check. If I have any sort of recollections. That's a six. Plus eleven. Stop levelling up. I'm not levelling up. I'm trying to think what I can do. Eleven. You have a feeling that there is no historical significance to the mural. It appears to be Marcus the Mad. But you do that it's clearly this is the dungeons exit okay this is where you need to

bring the two keys to escape yes I know fuck all oh not a man okay I mean you take clearly so I do I know that it's just a place to bring the keys? Because it was clearly with something that wasn't even a roll. It seems to be. There's no historical significance to it, mainly, is what the roll got. Okay. It just appears to be that, like, you were put in this room, there's an archway, symbol of a crescent moon and a horn skull.

Okay. You can infer, I would say, that as experienced adventurers, this seems to be the exit. Sentry, look, it's medium-sized. Hello, dearie. Hi, medium-sized. Oh, you're squeaky clean. Oh, yes, yes, I'm very shiny. Yes, role play. I have an idea. Okay. I'm going to walk up to this mural and pull down my trousers. Are you wearing trousers or are you wearing? I'm mooning this. Seek the moon before thunder steps. Someone provide your bull horns.

Oh goodness me. Nothing happens. I'm just gonna tap my bow on the side of the guardian's leg. Ding, ding, ding. Hello. You're very tall. Very very very tall! Your hair is very bright! Hi! Hello!

Who are you? I'm Sentry. Hi, I'm Sunshine. Nice to meet you. Where should we go? I am surrounded by morons. You're scary! Good. I don't like it. Good. Okay. I'm not here to be liked. I'm here to get out. Okay, tall person, yes, uh-huh, sure. Do any of you idiots remember the thing that we were told when we got in here? There was something about a moon? Seek the moon before thunders step,

and then something about seeking rooms at autumn's end and time standing still. Which one of you has powers? I'm going to walk up to you and try and look around near the portcullis. Yeah. So you move up to the sort of very narrow corridor and then immediately there's this iron portcullis, right? The room beyond is very dark and the light from the torch in the corner

only extends about 15 feet into the room. It's about 15 foot wide, but you're not sure how long it goes. It seems to be quite a long looking room and it's full of darkness. The only thing I think you can make out is there is within 15 feet, about 10 feet down. There appears to be a turning to the northeast, east. And that's pretty much all you can see. Make a perception check for me. I drew this map in the wrong place.

I'm already at the edge of the map. You can erase it and start again. Ten. Ten? Yeah, that's pretty much all you can see. You would say, Sunshine, you're quite small. You could probably squeeze through these bars, but you'd need to really try and squeeze yourself through.

The bigger creatures probably wouldn't be able to make their way through. Creatures. Creatures. I could try and send Echo through, maybe. You have thunder abilities. Do it at the moon. Huh? I don't think that we should...

I think we should go this way. There's a lot of darkness and darkness. Ah, sacrifice. A sacrifice must be made. You won't just... I'm going to go up to one of the torches. Mm-hmm. Take it off.

The torches don't come loose. Ah! They're fixed into the sconces. I would burn you alive, dearie, but it seems... What's medium-sized passive perception and insight in investigation? Oh, what? What? Uh, 13 for perception and insight in Investigation. Oh, what? What? 13 for Perception

and Insights, 13. Sorry, Investigation. Passive Investigation. 15. 15. You go up to, and medium-sized picks up, you go to move the torch, it doesn't move. But you notice that around the sconce, the iron sconce, there are vents that

smell like sulphur. There's like a strong sulphur-like, there are vents that smell like sulfur. There's like a strong sulfur-like smell around these vents around the torches. Oh, no. Your face. I'm going to run across to look at this. Is this just another corridor? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's an open corridor.

It's, again, dark, dim room that is another 15 foot wide and seems to extend. So the light only goes about 10, 15 feet in. But you can see at the beginning what appears to be the walls and floor of this room are fully covered in beautiful and elaborate paintings and sculptures of an exotic jungle scene. With sculpted trees protruding from the walls, giant animals and insects kind of like shaped in stone on the ground, and it extends quite far down. Make a perception check for me. You have disadvantage. Unless you have dark vision.

This corner smells like my ex-husband. That's an important thing to note. Who has dark vision? Fifteen. I mean, she's a halfling, so I guess she does, doesn't she? I don't think I do, actually. No, don't tell me if you do. Oh, wait, 60 foot 60 foot dark vision so you do have dark vision i do not okay so uh halfling okay then probably not it would be it would normally be on your character sheet

okay i think echo does but you don't yeah so you kind of peer down. 15, you say? Looking into this room, there's a couple of things that you notice. At the very far edge of the room, the room is maybe about 35 foot long. At the very far end, you can only just make it out. There appears to be like a wooden shack and there's like a skeletal body, like skeletal remains like half in the shack and in the dim light it seems to be holding something the other thing you notice

is some of the insects and animals in this room are real and they're sleeping oh cool there's bugs and stuff down here um but that way it's. I don't know what we should do. I feel like the way that's locked is probably going to be the place where we need to go to because that seems just stupidly difficult and that seems like it would be the right way. But I don't know. I'm up for anything. Wait, now this is the test. We must all die.

What? Yes, join hands and we burn alive. No. Wake up. I think we should go this way. Which way? That way with the locked door. How do we get through the locked door?

I can squish through and see if there's anything there. Yes, you are child-sized. Thanks. I'm looking for my child. It's not me. You're far too scary. No, thank you. Tom, there's also, there was a door here.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, the door. There's a wooden door. So, what, Sunshine, you want to squeeze through the portcullis? Yeah. And like go on to the other side? Can I have a look at the portcullis and see if there's anything weird about it? Sure.

Uh, what are you, what are you searching, are you just looking at it? Looking for traps. Okay, so you want to look for any signs or anything there, that'd be a perception check. If you want to physically interact with it, that'd be more of an investigation. Fourteen. Fourteen. Um, no. The portcullis, it's clearly attached to a mechanism

you can see chains um it's probably opened by some sort of device somewhere um can i squish through i don't have my perception no i don't have the observant feet anymore damn it so yeah um okay so uh sunshine you squeeze through i think like you can do it it's uncomfortable but you manage to squeeze your way through right um and looking into the room um it's yeah about 25 feet long this uh room past the portcullis and you don't have dark vision so when if you move further in it's just pure darkness that you can't see anything in there um are you still near us like near enough i have on the other side i have some torches in my bag okay do you want to light a torch yeah yeah so you light a torch

tinderbox it kind of sparks into flame um and it gives you dim light to see around you you can see that the room you're now in um is there is another portcullis on the door leading away to the east and you can hear down on the very far end, the southern end there is a passageway that you can hear

coming from. I am a dwarf. The sound seems to become softer and quieter and then returns in increasing Coming through. I am a dwarf. I'm digging. The sound seems to become softer and quieter and then returns in increasing volume. The room itself is of the same stone tiles and worn walls, but this one has... This room that you're currently in with the portcullises is covered in faded paintings of armoured soldiers

marching to war against each other. They appear to be besieging two castles. One is dressed in red livery, one in green, one in blue, one in gold. There are also four heavy levers set into the walls. A red one, which is almost opposite the first portcullis you came in from, so on that far corner. It's red. Yeah, sure. Well, put it on the other side. There's a red lever there. the first portcullis you came in from so on that far corner here's red uh yeah sure it will be

well put it on the other side yeah there's a red lever there then there is a green blue and gold lever on the uh western wall uh next to each other yes well kind of like in a line so like separated by about five feet so green green, blue and gold. Yes. Can I see any way to open the portcullis door? No. Well, you know that there is some sort of mechanism. These levers appear to be... We're close.

We're close to levelling up again. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Level three straight away. Guys, guys, guys, guys. Here we go. Don't stop.

The leaving. Two minutes. Go. Okay. Two minutes. Wait, two minutes to level back. Guys, here we go! Don't stop! Believing. Two minutes. Go. The Intruder! It's taking two minutes, Dr. Logo's free! Man, you guys are getting lucky. Level three. We got that pretty quickly as well.

5000! 5000 to get to level four. No! If the Intruder can't order, oh my god. I could be a ghost slayer and like it. 5,000 to get to level 4. No! Yeah. Okay. Order, oh my god. I could be a ghost slayer and like it. Do, do, do, do, do, do. What did I do last night? Surely things happen at level 3. That's quite an important level.

Yeah. Big things happen. Stop talking, get levelling. Wait, yeah. In the meantime, you can go and donate to humblebundle.com. Please, the charities. Oh, the charities. Oh, thanks, Kim.

So some of the charities. Oh, I see. The Grand Appeal, Mental Health Foundation, Special Effects, Stand Up to Cancer, War Child, Whale and Dolphin Conservation, Access Sport, and Call of Duty Endowment. Yep. Endowment. It's their veteran charity. There you go.

So those are all the charities you can support. Go and do so. Cool. I mean, you're giving these guys some free levels, guys. I would have thought you would want to see them die. No! But apparently you don't. They want us to all get gifts.

Okay, I've levelled up. Me too. Could I ritual cast detect magic? In this room? I'm currently in the main room at the moment. And detect magic gives you 30 feet, yes? Takes you 10 minutes to cast. Yeah, I mean I guess in the time that they were looking around these places as well, I know it's not...

Well, I mean... But I didn't say it before, and I mean this is a Dungeon of Mad Mark, so I guess I'll start now. So yeah, I'll start ritual casting it now. So you've got 10 minutes. 24 seconds! Sentry, don't touch the door. Don't go near the portcullis. Don't go into that other room, it's creepy.

Just give me ten minutes, and then I'll be able to see everything. Amazing. I can divine sense, maybe, and we can see if there's any naughty people hanging around. Yes. Yes. A quarter. I'm going to cast friends on Quill again.

Constrictor state, time's up! Stop leveling! Uh, wait, did my friends run out? Yeah, it'll last a minute. And then you know that a spell was cast on you. So, you have a constrictor state. Hang on a minute, did you? Oh, medium sized! Hello, dear. Hello. Amazing. Can I have a feather? Yes, of course.

You can ask Divine Sense. No, no, from there. That's an action immediately, right? Yeah. And it detects... Celestials, fiends, undeads within 60 feet. Wait, what's going on? There's like four things going on at once. Sweet.

Hang on. What are you doing? Divine Sense. And there's nothing. Okay, well, within 60 feet. Within 60 feet, yeah. So currently in our location there's nothing. Okay, well, within 60 feet. So currently in our location, there's nothing. Guys? Guys? Hang on a minute. I'm plucking out a butt feather from medium sunlight. You're ritual casting something. You're not doing fuck all else. Can I not? No, you're

ritual casting. I'm going to take it for myself. I'm just trying to tell you just now that there's drums and there's a lot of levers in here. And I don't really know what to do. Pull one. I don't feel like I want to because i don't want to die there's a green a blue a gold and a red and there's nice wait so wait hang on what else is in that room is there anything else

ritual casting shut up i can't talk no it's ritual okay twinkle my uh fingers with phalanges, cast Unseen Servant into the room. Yeah, perfect. Yep. Cast the spell. Yes, I'm going to set this Unseen Servant. It looks just like me, but in ethereal form.

Yep. From your position, by the way, if you're on the other side of the portcullis, the only lever you can see is the red one because the other ones are tucked behind the wall. It's going to drift over to the red lever. Okay. Shall I? Yes.

Yes! Where is everyone else positioned in the room? So, I mean, Sunshine's the only one in there. So, medium size would be here. By the portcullis. Right? Sentry, you were ritual casting, so what, you're there? I'm here, that's me.

You're there. Quill, there. I'll be here with Quill. I'm in the middle of the room, Sentry is right next to me. Cool. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Here we go, here we go, here we go. The Unseen Servant pulls the red lever.

The four torches in the original room with the vents erupt in flames. I'm melting! Everybody except Sunshine. That's a dexterity saving throw. Oh, my God. In the original room. I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

I didn't do it. It wasn't me. 19. 20. Century Killer dice. Dexterity. Yep. Dexterity save. It wasn't me. 19. 20. 20. Century killer dice. Dexterity. Yep. Dexterity save.

And let's see. So medium sized was here. Yeah, in that corner. So there's one here, one here, one here, one here. And it projects a 15 foot flame of cone. Flame of cone. Just everybody apart from the middle slot, basically. Well, how many of them hit you, though?

That's the question. Ah, one. Oh. So you get hit by one. You get hit by two. I rolled a 20, basically. Well, how many of them hit you, though? That's the question. Ah, one. So you get hit by one, you get hit by two. I rolled a 20, though. Well, make another saving throw if you get hit by two cones. And then Quill and Century, you get hit by two as well

from this corner. I'm in the dead center of the room, though. Oh yeah, you get hit by four. Quill gets hit by four. Oh, shit! Dude, okay. So don't get too excited. Let's do the first round.

You only got hit by one. What was your dex save? Two. I'm melted dex save? Two. I'm melted, I'm a chicken. You're gonna take... At least we have food to take with us now. ...eventually 18 points of fire damage. I'm dead.

You're unconscious. You can still burn to death. You're all unconscious. You got... I had a 20 on the first roll. Okay, so you take nine. Nine? Yeah, it's halved.

Wait, I got hit by four. Yeah, oh shit. And it's a guaranteed nine minimum. Oh shit. Well, no, this is the first one. What did you get on your first dex save? 17. Wait, I got hit by four. Yeah! Oh shit! And it's a guaranteed nine minimum. Oh shit! This is the first one.

What did you get on your first dex save? 17. 17, nine? I got 15. 15, nine? Nine, cool. Now you two, you make another... I made a 19 on the first roll. Okay, 19. Ooh. You take another nine fire damage I rolled a 4

18 fire damage 16 9 fire damage Right And then That's it for you two You only had to make 2 Quill had to make 4

Well I mean now that I'm down But they're unconscious They're not Oh you take 2 automatic death saving throws But they're not So medium size is down next to me right Yeah You can take two automatic death saving throws. But they're not... So medium size is down next to me, right? Yeah. You're unconscious.

I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't do it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, hang on. Which one? Which one? Okay, that's six rounds. Make death saving throws, you guys. Yeah, you took six seconds. Four.

16. Oh, I'm still in. That's one success. I'm six seconds. Four, 16. Oh, I'm still in. That's one success. I'm still in. Four, that's one failure. All right. Do I have time? All my clothes burnt off.

Yeah, is that what you do now? I'm gonna reach down and I'm gonna, healing hands, medium sized. But I'm just gonna do it with my, I'm just gonna use my spear, the end of my spear and just touch it to medium size's nose and just go, here you go. Nice. I don't care. You don't need nose and just just roll it yeah nice okay you don't

need to be creative with me today cool i don't care i'm trying to sell the story i just hit you with four burning yeah like big burning hands um okay i'll give you ten no oh nice that'll actually heal one wants to die hit points um but the portcullis between the two rooms opens. Oh, sweet. Just type it in, oh my god. He hates it. Tap, tap. Tap.

Okay, I'm back in. I wish you died. I'm so glad that you did it. I'm so happy. I'm back in, I've got no feathers. Oh, you're just like a little naked chicken. Roast chicken. Oh.

I'm gonna flip my cape around quick. It's so cold. The one feather I took from your butt fortune teller thank you you can have my cape i can't put it like over my like like ease no i know but oh you um you you look fine it's okay it's okay um thank Can I fly? I guess I can't fly without wings. I just... You'll fly on without wings. This is why I didn't want to pull the lever, but if you want I can try another one.

Look, red is danger, green must be good, right? Okay, do you want me to try something else? I'm gonna leave the room and go into their room. You're gonna go into that room, but poor colors. How can you get past the poor colors? It's open. But the other one doesn't. So the red one opened the one between these two. Oh, I see.

Can I still smell sulphur coming from the torch vents? Yes. I'm gonna huff that shit. Smells great. Keep going. He's still medium-sized his back. How much... Which one's medium? I mean, you can make a gun save.

Why did I revive you? Why did I waste my healing hands on you? I don't know. Smells good. The dice is there. It's right there. How much? Just for the record, Chris Trot didn't bring dice with him today. Of course he didn't.

That's me. Put me back. 13? I's me. That's me. Put me back. 13? I mean, yeah, you huff it and it smells of bad rotten eggs, but yeah. You're somewhat high. She's into it. Uh, which one should I press next?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say there were paintings in this room? Yeah. What are the paintings? Well, I said there's faded paintings of armoured soldiers marching to war against each other and besieging two castles. What's the red one? One is dressed in red leathery.

The soldiers in red carry torches and swords and are attacking the gates of the golden castle. Okay, what about the green ones? The green carry shields and spears and are attacking the gates of the blue castle. Green against the blue castle? Can I pull... I just want to pull a lever.

Sure, go for it. What are the blue castle painting doing? The blue wield bows and defend against the soldiers in green. That's bad. Okay, and then what's the gold? The gold is being attacked. Gold wield magic and are defending against the soldiers in red. Gold magic.

Okay. Okay. So we just pulled the red one and we got attacked, and the red are attacking the gold. Yeah. So the blue are defensive. Wait, the red are defending? No, the red were carrying torches and attacking the gates of the gold yeah so they're defensive wait the blue the red are defending no the red were carrying torches and attacking the gates of the gold blue blue and gold are defensive green and red are

offensive pull a defensive one then i'll pull a green one that's not the blue one oh yeah the blue one sure are we saying blue sure blue? Sure. You quite like green. I quite like green, but I'll do blue in this case. Okay. So just confirm for me where everyone is. So Sentry moved in. Quill must have moved in to look at the paintings. Yes.

I think we're all in the room. Medium-sized worthless. I probably went up to the gold. You were huffing in the corner. I was looking at the gold lever. You were looking at gold. Okay. Everybody in the portcullis room.

Not medium-sized. As the blue lever is pulled, a number of holes that you hadn't seen in lots of the paintings shoot arrows into this room. How tall are the arrows? Enough to fill the room. Like, they're all around the room.

Like, the whole place is filled. Oh, my God. Sentry, what's your armor class? Armor class is 18. It's a miss. So you kind of managed to get your shield up. There's all these arrows. Worthless.

What's your AC? 17. 16. So you just managed to dodge out of the way. Quill, what's your AC? 13. I have a shield as well. That's 17 to hit you.

Sunshine, what's your AC? 14. 14. Nope, it's going to miss you as well. Oh, Quill. It's so close. We can't film alive's going to miss you as well. Yay! Oh, cool! It's so close. We can't film live. Tenderising the meat now.

I like to think that... Oh, low damage! That's only seven points of damage. Oh, cool. How many have you got? Three. Sorry, Quill, but now we know! Okay, I'm going to...

You get no XP for these traps! Please donate! Because you've activated them! Okay, look, okay. If the offensive one... Oh, leveling up doesn't restore your hit points. No, but I just want to... Okay, look, the offensive ones might damage that room. The defensive... Maybe, maybe the lever's just not good.

Maybe they're all trapped. There is a passageway to the south. Let's go there! That's where the drums are. And you can all now hear it. It's like it's less drums. It's like and it gets really loud and then it begins fading away.

Like something, almost like a horse galloping close and then galloping away. I'm just thinking of Prince of Persia, you know, like those spinning blades that just come to life. Oh my god, yeah. Why would I ever put spinning blades in a trap? What? You did it in a real day.

What? Spinning blades? Let's go see the horses. I'm going to cure wounds myself, by the way. Sure. Oh, my God, he's healing. Myself. What?

Screw you guys. I'll drift in to the room. One of your rare second levels. All right, medium-sized drifts in. I stroke everybody. I give you 12. I'm going to send the unseen servant through and watch. I mean, the unseen servant, you can't watch through its eyes.

It's not familiar. I mean, watch it go in. Oh, you watch it go in? It's invisible. It's got a aura. you watch it go in? It's invisible. It's like got a... It's got a... It's like a spectre. Sure.

It's unseen. Hang on a minute. I'm being mad Mark. I'm not just going to say yes to that. I'm going to look it up. It's invisible. Wait, is this a rules as written? Invisible.

Invisible. I'm picturing it as my ex-husband. I mean, it's not... I'm hallucinating. Yeah. I'm on sulfur. Okay. So you see it go in'm picturing it as my ex-husband. I mean, it's not me. I'm hallucinating. I'm on sulfur. Okay. So you see it go in and it's like,

Vivian, come join me. As it floats through. You stink. Wow. If you move up to the doorway, you can see that the passageway to the south leads into a five foot wide corridor that goes east to west. The floor looks different, however.

It's ancient cracked stone. It doesn't look like carved flagstone. It looks like raw you know, just broken stone effectively. The walls are unadorned but there's a heavy smell of iron and stone dust. I didn't write any of that down. So five foot corridor

wide and it goes east to west. So yeah, like that and then yeah. I just want to summon a beast yeah like that and then yeah it does one summon a beast um we'll just say that it just appears okay so giant constrictor snake has appeared in the room what what oh this is my pet uh which lever did you pull i didn't pull a lever this is my pet he's with me okay cool noodle that pretty funny. I fucking love this new character. Noodle. Hi, Noodle. Noodle's good.

Noodle's good. No! Can she come in as like Ava's little sister or something? No. Oh, fucking hell. What's the plan of Noodle? What's his story? What's he doing?

He's just a friendly little Noodle. Okay, okay, okay. Except he's a bit bigger than me. Can you break the portcullis? About 20 seconds after what this conversation is, medium-sized, you see, storming down this corridor, like, rushing past you,

is an immense metal stallion. And it just gallops past you full sprint like and that's the sound the hooves are like banging on the ground as it just rushes past it's going it comes round this way so it's going clockwise that's cool

I'll cast a minor illusion of myself in its way and then just wait everyone else just waits? Yeah. About 30 seconds later it comes around again and it just barrels through the illusion. I'll step out.

Yeah, you weren't in the corridor so it didn't hit you. It was just like... Can I have a look down the... You go step into the corridor. Oh no! Okay. Okay. I found a horsey! Oh, you're holding your hand up. Oh, no. Okay. Everyone.

I found a horsey. Here he goes. Are you sure that's a good idea? Everyone get your ass ready. He's got a bad idea. I know. So just so we're clear, you step out into the corridor and you just wait. Yes.

All right. He's holding his hand up for it to stop. Yeah, you hold your hand up for it to stop. As soon as it's within range. Yep. So you can now see, I'll describe the rest of the corridor to you. The corridor extends for about 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 feet to the west and to the east.

And it keeps going to the east. So the western way it goes 35 feet and then it turns south. And you can see there's an open passageway at the far end. Oh. I see. And then make that a doorway. Yeah.

So it goes that way basically. And then it goes south. The one going to the west, it just carries on. And it seems to go. The east you mean? Yeah, yeah. To the east. And your vision, it turns to darkness.

Oh. Okay. And as soon as it comes into range. So the horse comes around the corner and it comes into around the corner at the far end what do you do stop i don't think you just say stop are you casting a spell charm person okay can you make a dexterity saving throw for me please i don't want to i don't want to do this to you but but... I mean, no, he's casting... He's casting Charm Person on a horse.

I did say it was a metal horse. Great. I say seven. Six. Six. You take 18 bludgeoning damage and are knocked prone. I become a bloody horse. Okay.

Yep. Destiny! It just crushes you as you land. I become a bloody morsel. Okay. Yep. Destiny. It just crushes you as you land. I think the last thing I said was, I'm a fortune teller. In the future. Okay. I mean, you're on zero, right? Yes.

Okay. So, yeah. Death saving throws. Does anyone want to try? No. I'm out of stock. Well, that was bloody stupid. One fail. Six seconds. You guys can make an action each if you want.

Can I... Uhhh... How far is he in? Is he just like a little bit in here? Yeah, by all means guys, keep using your spell slots. Save the fucking idiot medium, sure. I'm important. I've already saved him once, I'm not doing it again. Oh, unfortunate.

So you can't... What do you want to cast? But I mean he's level 3. We could either have a level 3 Dynapack or a level 1 Good one. I will... Good? I will wait until the horse signs. You're listing out for the horse? Yeah, where do I think it is? It's far down to the east.

Can I just like prod my bow and cure wounds? Sure. You have to touch him. So you step out and touch him. Okay. I am mutilated. I'm just tired. Wounds.

Cures. Sinews. Muscles. Oh, God. Imagine if we had injury checks in this. It's like human hedgehog, but with bones. Can you move whichever you're going to use the case with? Just move it into the into the portal

has to be touching I think it's that one actually you can be five foot away actually yeah because you can five foot range crazy horses

eight eight hit points back and then I run back okay yeah yeah okay please come back into the room

please come back in. Stand up. Stand up. Yeah, you're currently prone. I'm not risking myself getting in there. No. Get back in the room. Get back in.

You wasted your skull on there. We've broken her again. She's done. I'm going to run over and try to pull medium-sized down to the floor. All right, so make a strength check. You hear the hooves are coming close. You hear them approaching, but it echoes. It's hard to judge exactly where it is.

Nine. Nope. Do you move? Deck saving throw. I'll do a strength. Or counter. See if you pull me away, I guess. No, he just did it.

He rolled like a nine. He was like... He's like pulling on you, but you're like... Please don't roll an intelligence check. Please don't. Or Chris drop. Please. You just want to kill yourself.

There are much better ways. I'm going to step out of the way. Oh, my God. Maybe, maybe... That's not destiny. Maybe not. Maybe not. Wait, where's my minigun? Can I have a look down this portcullis?

Yeah, you want to look through that portcullis? Okay, so you look through that portcullis into, what, it's room five. Room five. You can see it's dim light, and again, it's very hard to see because looking into this room, first of all, you can tell that there is sickeningly warm in that room. You kind of put your torch through the portcullis. You can see it's really warm. It feels really warm.

It looks like a warm breeze blowing from it. And the whole room is filled with drooping vines, jungle foliage that makes it really hard to see much further into the room I feel possible hot damn the stone floor is ancient and cracked as though from different civilizational periods weeds and growth up runs it and you stick your torch through right you said you stuck it through to do it well that's what you said okay do you not do that? Fine.

No, it's up to you. You can say like, no, no, no, I meant I wanted to keep it. Do it. Okay. Look, is this Mark or Mad Mark? Okay. It's hard to tell. It's a blurred line. I think it's Mad Mark.

Mad Mark. No, no, no. No, no. I was just like, I was giving you an opportunity to confirm what you wanted to do. And then he's picked up some dice. 93. You stick it in and the first thing you notice is the oxygen in that room must be high,

because the flame of the torch, like, flares brightly. So there's a high amount of oxygen in the room, and it ignites, and the foliage, like some of the plants near the torch, immediately catch on fire, and they begin burning. Roll a d4. My d4 is on the map. Roll it.

And leave that d4 by the portcullis. Four. Four. Four, okay. So this room is now just on fire. I mean, it's burning. The foliage is very dense and thick in there, but the vines and the plants seem extremely flammable.

Like, they're burning very quickly. I'll have the sulphur. I tried to draw a flame and I'm not throwing an axe down my penis. Oh shit. I personally think that we go back to the skeleton that was in that first room. Yeah, I think the skeleton might be better. There were bugs as well, weren't there? Yeah, a few bugs.

Yeah. Okay! I mean, okay. Yeah. There's, I mean, I don't want to go in the fiery room. It's very hot in there. We can't get into the fiery room. Or I could pull another lever.

No. Gold lever. I don't want to, no. I don't like those. I mean, we could split into very hot in there. We can't get into the fiery room. No. I don't want to... no. I don't like those. We could split into two groups and you could pull a lever. No. Can we just go towards... the person was holding something. Maybe it was a key. I'm going to be clambering onto Quill's back. Why?

Why would you... This is top to trot. Why? I'm going to lean in to Quill's ear. I'm going to... Why would you? This is top to the trot. Why? I'm gonna lean in to Quill's ear. I'm gonna start moving towards the... Move yourself 25 feet. Go like your normal at round movement speed. What's everyone else doing? So he's just jumped onto my back and he's letting me fly.

The room, if I now piggyback medium-sized all the way to uh that's your hallway is there enough room to fly i can't fly there's maybe maybe like you could flight it's like about 10 feet tall the room but the horse it might give you an advantage to avoid it but the horse will still probably clip you do you want to try you doing worthless? And century what you guys doing? Um, I Just I want to remind everyone of the riddle that we were first told when we came here Yes, the the seek seek the moon before the thunders step autumn time standing still all that. Yes Anyone seen him going back towards the skeleton. I'm going with a child. Okay. I'm not a child.

You look like a child. Every halfling's nightmare. So move yourself 30 feet. Century, what are you doing? I might try and time the horse so as it comes past the corridor, I'll send Echo out and get him to nuzzle in this little corridor.

Sure, sure, sure. Okay. Echo just like a fly on a windscreen. Yeah. I mean, the timing is going to be the important thing. So you wait for the horse to come and then immediately send Echo. Right, so you do that. Quill and medium-sized, what do you guys do?

Are you going to try and fly above the horse? Okay, I'll put him there for now. Do I know if I can fly with medium-sized on my back? Probably not, you're not strong. Difficult. You'd be basically flying at half speed and maybe you'd get exhausted quickly uh um but i'm only trying to get to the end like that bit at the end of the corner is that i've got 50 feet of movement flying speed so half that to 25 two three four five so i can do half that but i could dash you could so we could make it oh actually i have an

eye i have it i have an idea yes yes um can i go back to the horses all right so you move back i'd like to move this movie back um so while you're doing that the rest of you are deliberating okay what you're doing and you're going to time for sending echo why did you go back i can slow the horse hold on so you come you come into the room are you going to time for sending Echo. Why did you go back? I can slow the horse. Hold on. So you come into the room. Are you going to stand in between the portcullis? The portcullis is above you. The iron portcullis.

Oh, I don't want to be above the... So you step into the room. I'm only little! That's fine, but you're still in the room. Okay, so when Werther gets to the corridor and you're waiting for this horse to come round you hear this enormous

explosion coming from the room that was on fire Oh no, okay Yep I just need to check the range on this Oh, here we go Should have carried on Little corner the range on the so here we go I have any coverage of the car a little corner

here carried on a little corner yeah no need a little corner yeah yeah maybe we'll see 20 feet of it oh no you'll be I think you'll be okay would she wait so that entire room is just exploded. Please. We need to level up. Hopefully it blows out the... Sunshine, make a constitution saving throw. You may have advantage as you have some cover. Actually, no, add plus two to it because you've got the corner for cover.

That was an actual 20. Hey, easy. So you hear this explosion and then this thick gas quickly erupts out. It comes through the holes of the portcullis, like the iron bars of the portcullis. It spreads out, and it nearly catches a lot of you, because you're at the far end of the room. It just avoids hitting you.

You feel these thick spores, and you just manage to cover your mouth, and you cough up. You kind of have to make yourself sick, and all these tiny little mushroom spores come out that manage to cover your mouth and you cough up. You kind of have to make yourself sick and all these tiny little mushroom spores come out that you would have inhaled. But you aren't affected. The moment the explosion goes off, I freak out

and dive into the room and start to fly. Okay. I don't even time it. I'm just like what? No! So you don't time it. Alright. You and me, incised, begin flying through the room.

I mean, what do you do? I want to cast Blood Curse of Binding on the horse. So when you see the horse, you're ready in action to cast Blood Curse. So a couple of things are going to happen. You were holding Echo, so you don't trigger Echo. So what's the Blood Curse do? So it reduces the speed of the

creature uh any saving throws strength saving throw dc11 yeah passes pass yeah 18. nothing next so you guys fly halfway in the room you fly up to the scene to try and avoid it make dexterity saving throws both of you, but you have advantage. Okay, dexterity save. Oh, hello. 18. 14. 18.

Damn. Wait, you've got minus one. So 14 for Quill? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. 15. 15. I can't remember what I said.

14. I'll call it 14. You said 14, I think. Yeah. Oh, my God. KE. 3D tens. Look remember what I said. 14. We'll call it 14. You said 14, I think. Yeah. Oh my God. Katie, 3D tens. Look at what I just rolled. That's a nine, a nine, and a ten.

You take 28 bludgeoning damage, Quill. Yeah, I don't think it matters what his dex save is in that case. It does, because you basically, you see the horse coming, medium-sized, like, clambers on top of you, spreads her arms and like, clambers on top of you, spreads her arms and legs to stay at the top of things, but that forces you down as the horse just, bam, rams into you. Oh, my God. What's your maximum hit points?

18. What were you on? 15. So you were on 15. So he's fine. So 20, that's minus 5, then plus 8 is minus 13. It would be 33. I would have had to do 33 points of damage to you. Oh, hang on.

I rolled that, but it's plus 5. So that's what? 19... No, that is, isn't it? 9, 9, 10. 9, 9, 10. So it would be 19, 28, plus 5, 33. Oh! Literally, I got the plus 5. It's a chat link! It's plus 5!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Yeah! Qu ha ha! Woo! Quill dead! That's like no joke, the plus five modifier for its strength. Hold up, hold up! Woo! First be like...

Amazing. And the horse just keeps on going. So, Echo. You send Echo out. You watch Quill die. I'm just screaming. I guess there's a blood pile everywhere. You are now 25 feet down in the corridor. The room is filled with, like, drumsticks.

Tom, do you need me to activate one of your D&D Beyonds? Or can you activate them? I might be me to activate one of your D&D Beyonds? Or can you activate them? I might be able to activate them I think you can add them to the No we all have them I deactivated one Who do you want to play Tom? The furball Okay well remove Quill

Okay so this is a new character But I guess we'll go at the end of the round Alright here we go So medium size is in the end of the round. All right, here we go. So, medium-sized is in the middle of the corridor. Echo comes scooting past, and Echo makes it all the way to the end of the corridor. No problem, you timed it. Absolutely what you should do. You make medium-sized, in fact, where you land...

Oh my god, you've landed in exactly the right spot. When you land on the floor, and Echo floats over it, because Echo flies, right? So you land, and you realise echo floats over it because echo flies right so you land and you realize that the 10 foot section of floor that you are in so the five foot you're in and then the five foot towards the corridor it's disguised to look like stone it's thick gray mud and it counts as difficult terrain to move through so it's half it costs double movement to move through it right so you're currently like in this thick sludge, like up to your, like nearly above your knees, basically. And it's like, oh, like it's, you know, disguised.

Echo floats over it. Echo gets to the end and sees that the room, the corridor opens up into a room. It opens up into a brightly lit room. The passage from the narrow broken stone corridor quickly changes as bright light spills from this room with a hearth's warmth

and a pleasant smell. The room itself is quite large. So the room is 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. It's 30 feet wide and 10, 20, 30, 35 feet long. Oh, we don't have the space. You might not have the space. To the south. Yeah, you might not have the space.

That way. Sure. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what he's doing. It goes that way, to the south. Well, 35 feet wide, I mean like east to west. But it's a 35-foot cube anyway, but it's to the south. So it starts, so get rid of that line.

Oh, dear. And looking inside it, Echo can see that it's a beautiful lounge. It appears to be an elaborate lounge. There is a large wooden staircase that leads to a balcony level with an ornate glass display cabinet resting below the portrait of a blonde, eladrin man beneath a tree. Two suits of armor stand at either end of the balcony and a pair of double doors beside them. A rich red rug covers most of the lower floor and a fireplace on the southern end of the room gives off a pleasant warmth two chairs are in front of it and a pair of sleeping dwarves sit comfortably

in them tankards in drooped drunken hands a large golden gong sits in the southeast corner of the room and a three floor toiling paintings cover the wall opposite the staircase. So I will draw this room a little bit while you guys think about what you want. Orby! Orby, dears, pull me out, would you? Um,

I can try. I can try. I can try. So, okay, I'll send Echo back and try and get you. So, here he comes. Echo is not very strong. Does Echo have any strength at all? Echo has no strength. Echo can't lift. He's going to try. He's going to try.

He's going to try. Rip on to Echo. He's trying. And just let go and go ragdoll. He tried. So that's the stairs. So for your benefit, stairs, balcony, where the display cabinet and the paintings are. Cool.

Two armoured statues at either end, a rug, things, and a gong here. Cool. And the paintings on the opposite. Okay. Can I look at the corridor and see where the horse is? The corridor has just rounded. Actually, no, because it's darkness down at the other end. So it just disappears into the dark

60 foot you say then in that case 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60. It's just beyond the range of your dark vision So it goes the fat coral goes down at least 60 feet and then some more Okay So are you trying to move your way through and trying to escape it so how much movement do you have i have you've 30 so it costs 10 uh 10 oh you're going out that way okay so yeah 10 to get out 5 10 15 so yeah you can do that in one movement so you're next to echo you're now x now ex-to-Echo. Ex-to-Necho. Ex-to-Necho.

Ex-to-Necho. What the rest of you do? And so, for those of you who were thinking, you hear a noise coming from probably where you are, in the portcullis room. A portal opens up in the air, and a furball drops out. Hello!

Oh, I can't do anything. Hello. Who are you? Who are you? Hello! Oh, I can't do anything. Hello. Who are you? Who are you? As a point, any new characters have all the knowledge of previous characters. You've been watching this. Oh. Oh, hey, that, uh...

That bird really got it, huh? He got smooshed. Oh, no. Yoo-hoo! That's bad. Big summer blob! Hello! And who are you? Hey.

I'm Felix. Say it. You might know my daughter, Navi. I'm Felix Navi's dad. There it is. I hate him. I hate him so much. Felix.

He's so pleased with himself. That's what annoys me about it. If you go through Tom's Twitter account, you can pinpoint the exact minute in time he created this character. Trog, can you come and type in the hack film's Wi-Fi password? The holodeck just shuts me out of Google every time. Felix, that's my dad. I'm Felix Navi's dad, and I am a furball druid, a level one furball druid as well because I haven't leveled up.

Hi, um, you look like you might last a little bit longer than the bird because he was quite squishy and feathery and yeah. Oh no, no traps that me thing, no. What can you do? I can make a little flame. For these flames. Wonderful. Hey, how about this? Huh? I'm tempted to throw you to the insects.

What insects? We haven't been to that room. Should we go that way or that way? So you're going to abandon medium-sized ant-eco. Should we go that way or that way? Hey, what about the crazy old lady huh she's gone that way i'm gonna take echo under my arm and walk into the room okay come yep yeah and it's and it's yeah it's this lovely beautiful lounge room oh my god i can't i can't i mean you can choose to not focus through Echo's thing.

You can just be like, I'm going to disconnect it. Okay. Yeah, I guess I'll disconnect it. I guess now I've seen what's ahead. Yep. Do you know what? Now I'll go get Echo back. So you bring Echo back, like you send it flying?

I mean, it has a lot of strength. If you hold on to it, like... No, I'll come and get him. I'll leave Echo with medium size. Okay. You step out into the corridor. The horse comes around the corner because it's on a circuit

and you can wait to time it. I'll wait and time it. Okay, so you wait for it to go past and then you're going to run. Okay, so you begin moving down the corridor. Can you give me a piggyback? Move, so take your movement. I mean, yeah, you can take,

if you want to take somebody with you. Are you sure you want to come? Try if you want. I don't know what else to do. I'm very confused. That room went boom. Take the child. And I don't know.

I suggest you all go because I'm going to pull one of these levers. Okay. Come with me. Jump on my back. Yay! Oh, hey, wait. Wait, wait. Before you pull the lever thing there.

It's 30 feet. Goodberries? Cast Goodberry. Do you want to do anything about this? I'd love that right now. Let's see. I'm so fat right now. My next question.

Can I keep them? Do you want to try and jump it? Do you want to try and have them manage you? What is your strength score? Strength score is 15. You've got a running jump. You can make it over. So you've moved 5, 10, 15.

You used 20 foot of your movement to jump oh is it spell slot okay and then you've got 10 feet left so 5 10 so you're on the corner do you want to dash yeah i'll dash as well yeah okay so you're not in the way because you can hear this thing about to come around the corner okay so you dash into the room you now you and sunshine are now in the room with medium sized um so felix navi's dad and Worthless are in this room. You gonna give me some good berries? She didn't take any good berries with her. You want some? I took like a few.

How many? Like four. Four, okay, six left. You want some? Thank you. That was a spell slot to cast that, by the way. What do these do? Heals you for one HP each. Wonderful, I'm going to eat all of them.

What? Okay, guess I don't have any. How much was that, six? Six. Do you know what, Aisling? It saved them. Felix Navi's dad. I'll leave you three. I will leave you three.

Oh, thank you. That's so kind. I am kind. I'm a kind person. Yeah, I know what about being kind today. 70%. All right, what's the plan? So, Felix, you might want to move out of this room. Oh, into the...

Or just somewhere else. Okay. I'm giving you the count of three. One, two, three. Two, one. I'm else. Okay. I'm giving you the count of three. One, two, three. One. I'm out of here. I'm going to pull the gold lever.

Gold lever, eh? So I'm in the main room. He's in the... Whatever we called this room. Death room. Death room. Leave a room. They're all death rooms.

Here we go. Come on, Mark. Why do you do this? Why do you do this? I'm also standing right next to a red torch. The soldiers in gold will magic and are defending against the soldiers in red. Right? Okay.

So the north portcullis between you and Feliks Navidad shuts. That one. Yep. Not only that, but from the floor tiles below you, Worthless, magic erupts. Make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, God. Fucking hell. See you later, Felix. I fucking love thatity saving throw. Oh, God. Fucking hell. See you later, Phoenix.

I fucking love that that lever room has fucked you all up. 15. 15? Okay. We haven't even made it out of one room properly. 10, half to five force damage. Five. As magic kind of blasts up from the ground.

What was that noise? Interesting. You're in another. And so that's the point. Those of you who are in the lounge room. What was that noise? Interesting. You're in another... And so that's the point. Those of you who are in the lounge room... Do we hear it? You can't hear anything. Oh, no.

Outside of this room, you can't hear the thundering hooves. You can't hear anything. It's like the doorway between this room and the corridor is silent. Oh, the room that exploded, did the portcullis on that also explode? Or is that still there? Still there. Oh, okay. But you are now in your room, and the portcullis on that also explode or is that still there? Still there. But you are now in your room and the portcullis is shut.

In which case... I'm totally separated from the party now. Can I go to the side of... So where the thing blasted up, can I move... Oh no, the whole floor. The whole floor, oh, okay. It kind of projects it up in a column directly up. Can I move the whole floor? The whole floor. Oh, okay. It kind of projects it up in a column directly up. So anybody in this room would have been hit by a blast.

Oh, you're doing it. No, that's good. So which one was it? It was green but then it was... We've tried blue, gold and red. Blue, gold and red. Fuck it. Is the green the permadeath option? Which one opened the portcullis? It was red, wasn't it?

Red was the one that you pulled first, yeah. Didn't it? No. Do you pull red? No. Okay. He's standing right there in the storage. Do you need a moment to think?

Because we can cut to these other guys. Honestly, I'm just in the... Well, Felix, now he's dead. What would you like to do? I almost want to kill Worthless off, because it it's an hour in and i just kind of want to do it hey worthless what's the point you don't want my gift i'm trying to kill you but yeah i'm not trying i'm just letting you kid yourselves really all right what are you doing you know what worthless i'll meet up with you i'm just gonna open up this door here and then we'll just

cycle around see you in a bit i open that door yeah it opens it leads into a yeah uh it's not locked it opens it leads into a l-shaped corridor so it goes south uh no so it goes directly south and then turns to the east oh i see uh uh and it goes down 50 it goes it goes down then turns. I would just love if that was just the exit and it was like, she just won because he just got out. And then it goes east. Oh, I see. It's a 2x2 L shape. Yes. Not 1x1.

Not 1x1. When you look down in the corridor, it's very dark. It just seems to have decorative shields hung up on the wall. I've still got my produced flame on one hand. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, you can see clearly in the room. And four good berries in the other. Mm-hmm.

I'm thinking about combining the two, but I'm not quite sure. Yeah. Right. What do you want to do? Still with us. Okay. We can just cut to somebody else if they want to do something or if if you're doing something. I can go in, I'll carry on. You step in and you can see that there are two shields on the right hand side,

and then there seem to be two shields on the wall as it turns to the east. Okay. We're 74% towards our next level up. Please let us level up so that we can be level two. Don't do it. Do you know what? I'm going to kill a four. Don't donate to charity.

I want to kill them. Please. Please donate. Who's doing what? I'm going to drift over. Yeah. So you're in the lounge room. You're with me now.

So you just watch Echo being carried by a strange woman. As long as he's being comforted, that's fine. Casting friend. Yeah. Okay, yeah. So yeah, do you want another description of the room? Are you happy with what I read last time? Two sleeping dwarves by a fireplace.

Yep. Staircase. Staircase going up to a balcony. There's two suits of armour on the other end. There's a display cabinet at the very top of the stairs, like a glass Skyrim display cabinet. And above that is a painting of a blonde

Eladrin beneath a tree, seems to be resting. There is a rug at the bottom of the stairs, a golden gong next to the dwarves, and then opposite the staircase are three very tall paintings on the wall. Do you want to look at those or? I'm going to drift up to one of the sleeping dwarves.

Okay. Can I see what the paintings are? So you're looking at the paintings. You drift up to the sleeping dwarves. I'm going to check one of their hands. Pass this to her. It's an illusion. Yeah.

Century, what are you doing in that room? Can I look under the rug? Do you want to just move your stuff? Look under the rug? I want to look under the rug. In case there's a trap door. So you go up to the rug and you lift the rug. Yeah. Oh!

Whee! That means death. So we'll go round. So paintings. There are three paintings. What languages do you speak? Common, deep speech and halfling. Cool. They have names but you're not sure.

They seem to be written in different languages. One depicts an elf falling from a great height and seeming to be and falling into basically an endless darkness like a black void right the next one depicts a dragon falling from wealth and power into war and becoming bones that are being scavenged by humans the last painting depicts a tiefling falling from a life of sin but transforming into a powerful devil and landing triumphantly in the nine hells

medium-sized you go over to the dwarves your hand passes through it seems to be an illusion transforming into a powerful devil and landing triumphantly in the nine hells. Cool. Medium-sized, you go over to the dwarves. Your hand passes through it. Seems to be an illusion. Century, when you move up to the rug, are you, like, on the edge of the rug, like, peeking up? Yeah, I'm not standing on it. I'm, like, on the edge, just like... Okay. You pick up.

Make an investigation check for me. Ooh. That is an 18. 18. You would have probably missed this if you hadn't been careful. You lift up the rug and it looks like just stone flagstone, right? Yeah.

On the very edges, underneath where the rug is, there is a very thin line outlining that there is some sort of like, the floor beneath the rug would collapse or slide away or something. It seems to be sturdy. You can

press down on it and it's locked in place. You think that maybe this is activated by something else in the room. But yeah, there's definitely some sort of force there. Cool. No one stand on the rug! Can anybody read what these paintings say i don't know how they say it means nothing to me but they look nice though oh man i'll tell you who does know

abyssal celestial and infernal what about you guys any languages celestial common primordial and sylvan nope dwarvish nope common cool nice uh right felix now he's dad uh so what are these shields they're just uh it means you go up and examine them or yeah yeah i'll go to the corner of the room as soon as you move down to that corner point in the room two of the shields pop off the walls animated and attack you roll initiative oh no initiative six seven yeah these two shields go first they can't lay off the wall and attack you yeah nice okay nice guy it's just a nice guy here they really tend to hit only attend to hit the first one doesn't hit die. Only a 10 to hit? Only a 10 to hit the first time?

Doesn't hit. Second one is a 17 to hit. That does hit. Okay. You take. That'll do it. Number one. All right, 11 points of bludgeoning damage.

I'm down. He's just some guy nobody's there to save you. He's just a dad. He lasted like two seconds. Do you just wanna roll three dad saving throws in a row for me? Let's see, it's worth a support commas between you! And I didn't hear it! And I don't care!

So I need what, a 20 to come back and be safe? Or success? Three successes, or a 20. And even on three successes you'll just be unconscious. That's a success! And in fact the shield will just be you to death! Oh 15! So 12, that's a fail. He just gave someone shield will just be you to death. Oh 15. So 12, that's a fail. Fail.

You just gave someone some berries and then died alone in a corridor. 15. I mean to be honest, actually the first round you would have failed it and then the shield would have hit you twice. So I'm giving the shield. Oh Navi. Felix Navi's dead. Felix Navi's dad. Felix, Navi's dad.

Wow. We're not getting any prizes tonight, Tom. So I guess it's just the last one left. Just wait. Just wait. Yeah, I've got one left before you start ranting. Worthless in your room. No, in fact, in the lounge room,

because that's the majority of the players So those of you who are in the lounge Right on top of the rug Oh no No I mean no you just land You land on the rug You said not to step on the thing

Worthless what are you doing I'm going to pull the green lever Yes It's the last one'm going to pull the green lever. Okay. Yes! It's the last one, right? So you pull the green lever, the portcullis leading to the room that exploded opens, and from that room you hear... Okay.

It's almost like certain levers activated traps in the rooms being attacked. Yeah, because it's castles. And then the room... You got there and then changed. I had to pull all four levers just to check, though. And that's what I love about Kim. Kim has to know. I know, right?

This is the worst fucking dungeon ever. I have to touch everything. Right. So that's worth it. So yeah, it just opens. And you hear it open. Right. Those of you who are in the room, yeah, like the gnome lands on it.

Hello. Hi. It's not even a gnome. It's a rock gnome, like, the gnome lands on it. Hello. Hey! It's not even a gnome, it's a rock gnome. A deep gnome. Deep gnome. Hello. Alright. What's going on then?

Where are we? You have knowledge of everything, so... Take him off the rug. I mean, I don't have knowledge of this room. I've not been in here. No, no, but you have knowledge of everything that's happened. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you've been watching a Twitch stream. And I guess I know the rug is... Get, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you've been watching a Twitch stream. And I guess I know the rug is... Get off the rug. Oh, right, okay. Please. For the love of Christ. Fine, all right, okay. Thank you.

All right, look. What are we doing in here, then? Who are these two? I'm not there. Do you know their names? I'm Century, hi. What's your name? I'm Tolshank.

Tolshank? Tolshank. All-born kneecapper extraordinaire. Oh, there he is. He's back. Prick. He was dead reckoning as well, wasn't he? He was dead reckoning as well.

Where's that worthless bitch? Oh my God, I have to get to this room. We left her, but I wouldn't say bitch. She's just a bit scary, maybe. A little bit. Although technically I'm a different one, because I decided she's less crazy. So I'm guessing is this Tholshank, because it's level one Tholshank. Oh, before Worthless.

Tholshank. Tholshank. Tholshank. Tholshank. Unbelievable. This is young, just newly resurrected. Oh yeah. Not completely crazy worthless. I'm never RPing completely crazy worthless ever again.

Yeah, well I get off the rug anyway. Okay. Sure. So nothing happens when I get off. Hey, do you speak any of these languages? Common, gnomish, undercommon. Nope. Can I please try and come to this room now? Sure, do it.

I want to time the horse. So you time the horse? Yeah, I'm going to time the horse. Okay, so you move down the corridor. I've got 30 feet of moving. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. 84, we're so close. Come on, guys.

And then what, dash? Keep it going. And then can I use my spear to like ding over the mud? Yes. Let's see if I'll... Make an athletics check. Athletics?

Yeah. Or acrobatics, actually. This is an acrobatics maneuver. Fuck. Okay. I had a plus four in athletics. Natural 20! Whoa!

You managed to pull the spear free. And you hear the horse thundering. The iron horse comes thundering, but you managed to dash into the room. Yay! We're all in the same place again. Hi. Do you speak any of these languages? Do I speak any of these languages?

You speak Infernal, right? Yes, I speak Infernal. Then you understand one of them. Okay. The one with the tiefling falling to their death. The title of the painting is death oh good that says death right that sounds safe then all right what do we do with that one then hello hello wait wait because you're here that means that somebody else went bye-bye oh oh yeah

i watched this this was hilarious right! This was hilarious, right? So Quill, the bird, smushed drumsticks. It was hilarious, right? Felix, that lovely, kindly old man. What lovely, kind old man? What a lovely, kind old man. Beaten to death by shields. Imagine that.

Not even a weapon. Not even a weapon killed him. Fucking hell. Right. I will point out it is like 20 past 6 yeah I just want to kill myself off it's too fun Mark we're not aiming for success here at this point then all of your characters die

I'm going to put a finger on Tolshank's forehead oh hello do you possess... Possess. Anything long, hard, that I can slam into this gong? Oh, word.

There's a hammer next to it. I don't think we should hit the gong. Oh. I think that's a terrible idea. But okay. Ding. Ding. Where's the gong? It was over there. Everyone is blasted across the room. I think that's a terrible idea. But okay. Where's the gong? I was over there.

Everyone is blasted across the room. Back to the future style. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. That was delightful. Do you think that these paintings mean things? They seem to mean like falling a lot. That one means death.

But they're all falling. Can you describe the paintings again? Sorry. The three paintings. Yeah. So there's an elf falling from beauty into an endless black void of nothing. A dragon falling from wealth into power and becoming bones scavenged by humans. A tiefling falling from a life of sin but transforming into a powerful devil in the nine hells. And you said there's a balcony in this room, right?

There is. And then opposite the paintings is a staircase leading up to a balcony where there is a display cabinet, which you can't look into because it's raised. So it's got a flat top that you'd open and look down in. And then there's a painting above that of a beautiful pastel scene. There's a tree and there's an Eladrin man with blonde hair resting underneath the tree. The question is, old lady. Excuse me, who are you calling old?

You! You're with me. You're the same age as me, darling. Yes, and I'm ancient. The question is, what fate do we want to fall into? Well, I'm just trying to see if there's anything underneath this balcony. Is there anything on this balcony? Where does the balcony lead out into the room? If you were to jump off the balcony, what would you jump off into?

It's just basically against a flat wall, but there are two doors next to the suits of armour, and then the balcony is basically like, there's no underneath, it's almost just like flush. It's more like a second level really, like a kind of like second level staircase leading from this room up into it. I believe we fall through the rug. Hmm, I'm thinking that too. Yes, but what fate do we want I want to be in the head what you guys want to do do you want to activate whatever this

trap is it's not necessarily a trap we probably don't I still suggest I see if I can find any disarming things near the trap for what might set it off so the rug yeah like I I don, is it the rug itself? Well, tell me, what are you doing? It essentially looked and there was, like, clearly some sort of, like, segmented part of the floor underneath the rug. Also, I've been on the rug and I didn't fall through

when I fell, when I landed on it. I also see a bison. Can I... No, none of those. Wait, what? Can I go round and look at the stairs? Yeah. And see if there's any that might, like, trigger a trap type.

Yeah, make an investigation check for me. Oh, no. Seven. You do your best. You kind of proderate. You kind of look at the stairs. You try and, like, wedge, like, a knife under them. But none of the stairs appear to have, like, any sort of pressure plate or anything like that.

Hey, Mark. Yeah. Can I go touch the animated suits of armor? So, what, you go up the stairs and you go touch the animated suits of armor? So what, you go up the stairs and you go up to the suits of armor? Yes. Okay, the second you step on the rug, make a reflex save.

Make a dexterity saving throw. Dexterity save. Reflex save. Yeah, that's old school. Wow. Send them back. Oh, yeah. Seven.

Yeah, technically you shouldn't have. So you start making your way towards it, and then as soon as you hit the middle of the rug, it just collapses under you, wraps around you, and you fall down into a vat of acid. The whole section of the floor is a pit of acid, about 15 foot deep, and it's about 5, 10 feet on either side, then the acid, and you just fall in the middle of it.

You immediately, no saving throw, you just immediately take 3d6 acid damage for a total of 11, 14 acid damage. And you are now in the middle of it. But boy! We basically have a round of actions. I'm unconscious. You're unconscious.

Yeah. In fact, actually, no.. I'm unconscious. You're unconscious. Yeah. In fact, actually, no. Everyone, roll initiative. Oh, okay. I'm going to borrow the back of your character's central sheet. Sure. Achoo. Oh, shit.

I don't know how to save you from that. Yeah. Wait, how far did she fall? It's 10 feet down, then the acid, which is 15 foot deep. 35. I mean... 25. Are you a halfling, by the way, which is 15 foot deep. 35. I mean... Are you a halfling, by the way, medium-sized? No.

I'm human. Human ladder. What size is a human? I was convinced that medium-sized was a halfling. No, you can't use the halfling. Terrible posture there. I've always imagined her, even during when we were playing. Yeah.

Well, that's your imagination. Sentry initiative. Five. Madder, medium sized. Be tiny. Eleven. Worthless. Nine.

Nine? Mm. Tholshank. Tholshank. Twelve. Sunshine. Thirteen. Thirteen.

So, Sunshine, you're the first one to react. Do you see the old lady fall into a bit of acid. Um, is there anything that I can see in the room that would, I would be able to use as like a rope? There's no rope. No, I'm unconscious as well. You can't grab it, can you? Oh, you're unconscious?

Yeah. You're melting away. I'm melting away. The only thing you can see is the armoured suits of armour have halberds. Like long, half-dead halberds. I can't do anything to help you. I can't even get up there in time. It's fine.

No, but she's going to just... I'm going to spend my action just running about the room around the pit, just going, I don't know what to do! Okay. Tall shack. Thank you. God. I'm just going to go over to the edge

and just sort of hold my arm out. It's like, oh, no! No! Shit, no! Fuck! Medium-sized. I'm going to look over the edge and say, dearie, this is better than your alternative reality okay

worthless I mean you take an automatic death saving throw because you're taking damage and then you're going to roll a death saving throw on your turn you also take another 8 acid damage but you're currently at 0 anyway that's a fail so you're at 2

sentry it was almost a natural 20 imagine that You're currently at zero anyway. That's a fail. Cool. So you're at two. Century. It was almost a natural 20. Imagine that. Sunshine, I'm really sorry about this. I'm going to pick up Sunshine, tie some rope around her legs, and try and dangle her down. Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, my God. Let me go. Let me go. Just try. Just try. Just try. I'm not very strong. So you're trying Ghostbusters, like, looping him down and trying to lower her down.

But Worthless is just, like, floating in the middle and you're at the edge. So you're trying to, like, swing Sunshine out. It's like grabber. Like a grabber machine. Sure. Like, make an athletic sex entry. I'm literally Worthless-ry. I'm literally in the name, worth it. I just really wanted to do that.

Oh, my God. No, you don't understand. You don't understand the gift you've just given me. 17. 13. You grabbed the body and you're dragging it back. I'm not dead yet. What did you get?

17. 17, okay. Yeah, you might be, but you've already taken your turn, so you can't pull her out this turn, but you've got grip off her I'm not strong enough to get you Here's the thing though As you guys are doing this

You hear laughter Coming from the painting And the Eladrin man Who is this beautiful Eladrin with a circlet Three gemstone circlet with blonde hair Is pointing at all of you And is like Somebody else fucking fell for it And gemstone circlet with blonde hair is pointing at all of you and it's like oh shit somebody else

fucking fell for it and century can you make a wisdom saving throw please i like to think my sacrifice is 14 14 you feel for a second um something trying to take hold of your mind a crown of madness tries to embed itself on you but you manage to resist. No! I won it! If that had passed, you would have had to must use its actions before moving

to make a melee attack against a creature other than yourself which means you would have to let go of the rope. Mark! That's brutal. And yeah, you just hear this painting like, you fucking die! Fuck you! That's the least Sentry thing I've ever heard.

Pull me back, pull me back! Pull me back! Are you just going to try and keep hold of her? I mean, you go on Sentries, you've got to try and keep hold of her? You go on Sentry's go. You've got to wait for Sentry to pull you up. I'm going to let go of Worthless. And I'm going to hold on to Sentry's arm instead. So you're going to reach up to my ground.

No! Pull Shank. Oh, you let go of her. I'm sorry, but you scared me anyway. Here, I'll put out like one tiny arm. No, I can't. So you do nothing. Medium sized.

Can I have just like, I imagine that Sunshine is clinging to Sentry's arm, like with legs and arms just wrapped around it. Like a cat wrapped around a branch on a tree about to fall, you know? Yeah. And you want to climb up onto the stairs from the side. Yeah, sure, you can do that. I'm going to look at the painting. Yeah, it's like this Elijah man has come closer to the front of the painting.

Can I level up my next character? No, no, no. You can just do it. Can I level up my next character? Because I'm just gonna, I'm dead, right? All right, fine. We'll wait until this combat's over and you can level up. Right, that means nobody can level up. Yeah.

All right. So yeah, you move over to the painting and he's like looking down. Do you? What do you want? You're single. No. Well, technically yes, but not for you. Oh, come on.

Sorry, hang on. I gotta get his voice right. Like, yeah, yeah. It's like this. It's very, but not for you. Oh come on. Sorry hang on, I gotta get his voice right like, yeah, yeah it's like this, it's very gruff and husky. No, not single. Get out of here. How rude. And he's just like, fucking going out in the acid. Burning hands the painting? Sure, yeah absolutely. Oh. Uh, yep. What's your DC? It is 13. It can't fucking pass. It's a painting. The thing is, technically, it has stats.

It has a dex of 1, so I rolled a 15 minus 5. It's still 10. Does he run out of the frame like an Harry Potter movie? I don't know, but the rules, man. The entire painting. So, yeah, it takes full fucking damage. Okay, so we get 3d6. Full of fucking damage. What?

Whoa. 10 points of fire damage. Ten points of fire damage, okay. Yeah, you set fire to it and the painting is burning, but the elantron inside is like, hey, hey stop that! Come on, fuck off! Don't burn it! What are you doing? It's a bit late, dearie.

It's fire. I'm gonna fuck you! A painting? I'm gonna fuck you up! That's what we're going to! Century. Um, so like, okay, okay! It's a bit late, dearie. It's fine. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you up. That's what we're going to. Century. So like, okay, okay.

Put the halfling down. So you pull her out. Yeah, it's like, okay, fine. You're strong enough to pull her out. I'm just going to like flatten myself out. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, sorry. Yeah, worth it.

You died. There you go. Please subscribe. Like, I don't know. I mean, yeah. I imagine. You melt. Like, you just just see the skin, bones... Like in Terminator 2?

Yeah, Terminator 2 or like the Lost Ark. Yeah, oh yeah. It's gruesome. Is there a thumbs up at least? Yes. Thumbs up. That's another feet photo. Do you want me to activate another one or have you got it?

Can you please activate the screen? I'm assuming you want me to activate another one or have you got it? Can you please activate... I'm assuming you want to keep these notes though. No, no, I've written them. I've transferred them over. Fuck it up. Feed him. Please can you activate... Billy. Yes. You want Billy?

Billy. Also we need a new goal. We need a new goal to level up. Yeah. Eight grand! Eight from here? Yeah. Come on! Oh, come on.

Are you insane? That's not gonna happen. Eight grand. Nuts. Eight from here, okay. He doesn't want us to level up. Activate. So we need to get to 1,955.

Yeah. 1,955. Good. Do it. How about 1,950? All right, 1,950, 1,950. 1,950. I've got two of you at level one, so it's fine. Yeah,. How about one nine fifty? For charity. Alright, one nine fifty. One nine fifty. One nine fifty. I've got two of you at level one, so it's fine.

Alright. One nine fifty and we'll level up. Yeah. Alright, you guys wanna level up? Yeah. No, actually no, you're still in combat. Nope. Oh.

We said after the combat. I, when you put me down, I'm just gonna like be flat out on the floor. Do you do anything else? Cause you pick her up. Yep. Put her down. Anything else? Let's see, I might move over to, let's see. What was in the room again?

So we have the two dwarves in the chair. Yep. They're an illusion. Yep. The gong. The gong. We've already hit that. Paintings.

Hit the gong, but can I look at the gong? Can I inspect the gong? You can inspect the gong. Make an investigation check. What? Oh, that's not very good. It's a gong. Yeah.

It's a gong. It's made of gold. Oh. Oh. It's very heavy. Oh. All right gong. It's made of gold. Oh. Oh. It's very heavy. Oh. All right, you done? Just to test that.

Medium-sized strength saving throw, please. Probably a 15. Oh, actually, no, it's an opposed. So just roll the 20 plus strength. 16. 16. Oh. 19 plus 2, 21.

You are gripped by telekinetic force that pushes you back and dunks you in the acid. Oh, shit. What the hell? You can move a huge or smaller creature, make an ability check with your spellcasting ability, contest by the creature's strength, which I won. You can move the creature up to 30 feet in any direction,

so 5, 10, and then 15 feet down. You're pushed at the bottom of the acid pit. You take... Oh, you slag. 8 points of acid damage. 8? Yep. I'm instantly down.

Oh! When he does it, he's like, how does 19 work for you? And just like... You don't know what it means. 19? How does 19 work for you? You don like, you don't know what it means. 19? Yeah, how does 19 work for you? You don't know what it means.

Saving throw. Mad Mark. He knows the numbers. He does know the numbers. Cool. How can it be? That is the Paintings Go. Roll a d6 for me

for the burning, for it being on fire. I will do. Three. Three points. Continues burning. Sunshine. Are you just dangling from? No, I'm on the floor now. You're. Continues burning. Sunshine. Are you just dangling from...

No, I'm on the floor now. I'm on the floor now. Yep. Can I go up and... No, actually, can I just shoot an arrow at the Elydrin man? Sure. You can attack thedrin man? Sure. You can attack the painting. Yeah.

Sure. Go for it. Make an attack. Do it. Do it. Do it. It's a painting. It's not very hard to hit.

It's AC is five. 21. It's AC is five. 21. It hits. I'm so ready to miss a painting. Six damage. Okay.

The arrow strikes in and tears part of the painting. The adjunct's like, what the fuck? I want to find... Ring the bell. I want to find something and... Ring the bell. Yeah, it's a ring and a bell. Tiny little bell.

Who are you referencing? Is there any space like under... He's referencing someone. Is there any space under the stairs? No. No. But you can climb up. You can go round the side and climb up to the stairs from the side. Can I tie a little rope to the stairs so he can't force push me into the action? Sure, yeah, yeah.

Well, you can do that on your next turn. That's an action. So you've spent an action to shoot. Next turn you can do that. Can I hide behind something then? Sure, yeah, yeah. Well, you can do that on your next turn. That's an action. So you've spent an action to shoot. Next turn you can do that. Can I hide behind something then? Sure, make a stealth check. I think I have... Tallshank.

Can I go up to the painting and try and... So you go around the side, climb up, and move up to it? Climb... Oh, the painting is up the stairs.

Yeah. Oh, God, no then. There's three paintings opposite it, but the painting with the eladrin is at the top of the stairs. Right, okay, I thought that was one of the ones getting on the wall. Okay, God, no, then. There's three paintings opposite it, but the painting with the Aladrin is at the top of the stairs. Right, okay,

I thought that was one of the ones that came on the wall. Okay, in that case, can I go round the back of the chairs with the illusions on them? And if I, like,

tip it, do the illusions move with it? They vanish. I rolled a 25 for stealth. Okay. Yeah, pain doesn't know fucking where you are.

You're, like, pressed up against the back of the room, like, you can't see me uh can i like hold one of the chairs down for for medium-sized okay from the top of the chair unconscious medium-sized come on grab on okay all right all right medium-sized you immediately take one death saving throw can you roll me

another one please I don't know why I'm rolling the damage nine I think the only way you can get out of this is if you're not unconscious

well I mean just a natural 20 is the only way that or somebody literally going in and pulling them out and then saving them which is why I'm

still tracking it century grab the chair what grab the chair can I throw the gong at the painting chair can i throw the gong at the painting can i throw the gong at the painting like captain america yeah it just can't be fucking absolutely you can yes so you rip it off its little hinges if we're doing it you realize

when you pull the gong off there must have been like some connection between the gong and the traps in the room because there's like there's thin wires hidden in the ropesong and the traps in the room. Because there's like, there's thin wires hidden in the ropes and the vibrations of the gong must have gone through and activated something. Right. Ripping it free, the stone doors of the acid pit close. You're done. You're done. You're done.

Medium sized is gone. Thank you. Don't even look at it now it's done it's dead oh no no

no what a shame no give me some aqua oh these are amazing alright you got

aqua mamba we got two three halflings a gnome two rogues but don't come in just yet so don't level up

or anything yeah so no after the combat we said I believe I think we said after the combat rogues but don't come in just yet so don't level up or anything yeah so no after the combat we said I believe I think we said after the combat century you throw the gong so give me make an attack roll just make an attack rolls if you're attacking with your normal weapon okie dokie because this is fucking cool it's cool so you're nice oh that's a shame that's a pain that's a shame. That's a nine. It's not hard to hit. He's a painting. Oh, that's true, yeah. It still hits.

It's a fucking painting. Yeah, you're right. It's got to hit C of five. So for a big, heavy gong, roll 2d6 plus strength. Oh, cool. Pretty good. And what weapon fighting style do you have? I had a big...

Okay, so you can re-roll these damage dice, I believe, with great weapon fighting. Yes, that's the one. Yeah, and Countless is a two-handed weapon, so you can re-roll these damage dice, I believe, with Great Weapon Fighting. Yes, that's the one. Yeah, Countless is a two-handed weapon, so you can re-roll ones and twos. So that's nine. Nine points. The fucking gong embeds into the painting

and splits it in two. Oh, shit. And you just watch the Eladrin. He gets cut in half and he's just like, ah, shit. Fuck Benwit. And he just gets ripped in half in love is it will we ins Karen this room is exactly how he died everything like like the third podcast that I think shit. I thought there was something like that. From, like, the third podcast that Akink ever did.

I knew there was going to be an acid pit in here sometime. Like, I really did. Amazing. So good. So pleased. But the painting is destroyed. There seems to be no more immediate threat. You are out of initiative.

Nice. The trap is closed. Two people pop into existence. Oh, cool. Tell us who pops into existence. Oh, cool. Tell us who pops into existence. A small, very well-dressed halfling with blue hair, very old looking.

Half his face is shifted. I forgot about that! Hey! You're shit! Let's sort this out. Hey, I'm not shit. Hi, sir. Who are you?

Shut your damn mouth. Okay? I don't like you very much. You're annoying me a lot. You only just got here. I've been watching this whole damn thing. I'd rather you dunk in the acid right now if you could. The pit's closed.

You can't do that. A big tall robot. Open up the thing. Let's put that little thing in there. Come on. Open it up, open it up. What is the other person that appears? So you see a very tall man, quite dark-skinned, beautiful, handsome, black hair, very, again, yeah, very well and elegantly dressed.

And he's got a set, a pair, I don't know what you mean. He's got bagpipes slung over his shoulder. Sure. And a little cape. A little, like a half cape. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's like, he just kind of like swipes his hair out of his eyes, looks at everybody in the room and is like, hello there.

My name is Billiam. The brilliant Billiam Bartholomew Bear, if you will. Charmed. I go around, I shake everyone's hands, and then I kiss. I take Tolshank's hand. I take the halfling's hand.

Century... Oh. Akamamba. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Help me open this tomb thing. Wait, why are we opening that again? What? Why? God! Damn it!

Do I have to put you all in the acid? No! Well, what would you suggest? Listen, I'm leaving. Where are you going? Okay, go out that door. Get hit by a giant metal horse. See you right there! The last group I had, the tall guy had two left arms. Honestly, I'm sick of groups. If I'm honest, I'm sick of acting. Oh no, I just remembered who my next character is!

Because you guys were like level one when you met. It would have been the reunion of the century. Anyway. Right, you, run into the horse. You, go pull the other lever. Hey, you. What?

I'm on to you. My friend, I think we're fine. I don't need to do anything now. You're going to kill each other. I can just sit back. The old lady pulled all of the levers. Right. And how did that happen?

Basically, they just set off traps in each other's rooms. But they opened portcullis, did they not? Just the one. Calm, friend. Calm. They're a fiery one, I can tell. But we need portcars just at the nut. Just the one. Calm, friend. Calm. They're a fiery one, I can tell, but we need you.

Did you see what happened to Felix? Oh, yeah. Holy shit, that's amazing. Oh, my God. Level up. Two minutes. Now.

Two minute level up. Two minute level up. Level one to level two. I'm going to level two as well. Level two. Now I've pushed it. Do you want a Mowi Car Sacramumper?

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It took so long to load. I know, right? I'm still loading. Mark. Wait. What?

Still loading. I don't give a shit. You've got two minutes. What level is Sentry and Sunshine now? Four? Four. Oh, my God. I need a score improvement, baby.

Oh, fuck. Add spells. I need to add a spell. Feet. I might want a feet. Oh, that was easy. Fuck it. Sunshine and Sentry are still in their first characters as well.

Yeah, they're all four. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Just, Sunshine and Sentry are still in their first characters as well. Yeah, they're all four. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Just remember, don't give yourself all your hit points if you've taken damage, remember what you're on. No, I was fine. You're also- Fucking new characters, you're all fine. Yeah, exactly, level two is nothing.

Wow. Pretty much. Well, no, I mean like- How are you doing, chat? I hope you're having fun. Are you having fun? I'm having fun. Donate, chat you don't get you having fun Shit I can sing

Fuck sake How do you my friend getting good? I can play bagpipes. Well, I can tell do you do you fancy doing chat is fine Thank you. Thank you said thank you. Yeah. I know I hope you're enjoying it Frank. I am a lot music God It's fun fun just being me For the soul I had so much fun Making this dungeon I'm going to post it Available online for people

If you want to run it For your own groups If you want to be That much of a It is fun Of a killer Of a killer But you guys

Have just done All the right things And by the right things I mean the wrong things It's nice being reckless And just not giving a shit Like I'm just gonna pull up these levers right nice i'm done everyone done why everyone just stop for a second what's happening you're all just in oh you beat the clock sorry sorry i was just right robot right robot you need to take the hit for the rest of us what hit right

in front of the horse. Why? There's a cabinet out there. We should probably look in it and see if there's a key. Right. Go on then. Okay. Can I go up and look at the cabinet? You go up the stairs and you see, you kind of have to go on your tiptoes to look in, but it's a glass-topped cabinet, like a display cabinet in a museum. And you look inside and there is a key with a crescent moon.

There's a key! Oh, we need that. Remember the moon. Seek the moon before thunder's step awaits. Can I look and see if it's trapped? Investigation. And how are you doing that? Are you prodding it? Are you touching stuff? I only got a seven, but yeah.

Young lady, be careful! I mean, you can't find anything. There's no wires, there's no cables. Is it glass? It's glass-topped, yeah. Smash it. Yeah, smash it. You mean you can't find anything. There's no wires. There's no cables. Is it glass? It's glass topped, yeah. Smash it. Yeah, smash it. You're smashing it? Okay. Make a constitution saving throw, please.

Yeah, I'm about to get thundered. Woo! You even knew what spell it would be. Fourteen! Fourteen! You just barely managed to make it out of the way. You're gonna take some damage. Okay. Uh, thunder wave. does anyone have thunder wave

i've literally just got beautiful singing smell i just needed to check what how much damage it was i didn't write it down i think it does 2d8 2d8 it does 32 damage no it doesn't so you're gonna only take you only take two points of thunder damage but if you had not ducked out of the way this would have blown you 15 foot backwards oh so where the pit was great so uh but it just kind of um but you kind of like stagger back look in the thing um there is no key in there uh there is however a scarab like a little scarab beetle um inside was the key an illusion? Yeah. Was it an illusion? Maybe. Can I take the scarab?

You take the scarab? Yeah. Because of this, I don't want to fuck around with things like identifying and stuff like that. Because Quill's dead as well. So you now have a scarab of protection. So you can add that to your inventory. Bam. First magic item.

It's legendary. It's legendary. Scarab. What was it? Scarab of protection. Scarab of protection. Oh shit, what did I give you? I don't know yet. Ah. Um, right, this whole room is a side quest. We need to get back to the main quest. It says, seek the moon before thunder's step, and then seek the rune at autumn's end, and something about time standing still. Well we've done this, we've done the moon thing. Now we need to go find autumn. Interesting.

Is it the paintings? Seek a route. Oh, paintings. About that. I am something of a cunning linguist. A what? A cunning linguist. Fucking Jesus, Kim.

Yikes. Woo! Can you read those? My dear, of course I can. Can I cast comprehend languages? Yep. And look at the paintings? Yep.

Does it allow you to understand written language or just spoken? I can never remember the spell. You can also understand any written language you see. You must be touching the surface. Okay, so you go up and touch the paintings. So the painting with the elf is in Elvish, and the title of the painting is Death. You touch the painting with the elf is in Elvish, and the title of the painting is Death. You touch the painting of Dragon, and in Draconic, the title of the painting is Death.

Death. Brilliant. I don't think that... Wonderful. I think it means if you fall into something, you die, right? Yeah, if you fall into the pit, you die. Let's go to the very oxygenated autumnal room. Hold on.

The painting of the Elytra Is there anything writing on that? No, it's not any other writing this room that I can just read while I've got this spell handy. No fair enough We can go back to where the skeleton and the bugs are. Just rip them all off. The big three ones. Yeah You go to work like you have to kind of climb up and you start like hacking and like... But just get rid of them, yeah. You know what, you just rip them down. Just rip them off. Century goes berserk.

I think she might be thinking... Fucking, it worked for the first one, right? Yeah, don't do the other one. Yep. And it turns out behind... there's nothing behind it. So there was no point to this room? Scarab? Well, we got the scarab. We got a scarab. Yeah, what does a scarab do? It protects me. So there was no point to this room? Scarab?

Well, we've got the scarab. We've got a scarab. What does a scarab do? It protects me. Great. It's a side quest. Get out! I'm going to watch for the... Okay, so you wait for the horse.

Horse, yeah. Okay. Piggyback! You dangled me over a pit! You owe me a piggyback! Okay, come on then. Thank you. While Sunshine has her arms wide open like that, can I sleight of hand a scarab off her?

Oh, nice. Tom, don't do this. I mean, make a sleight of hand check. It is tallshank. 14. What do I need to do against that? What's your passive perception? Oh, not high enough.

We're halfway. I'm surprised. Oh wow. Well, we're ready. Yes! You fucking donated. that what's your passive perception oh not high enough wait i'm surprised oh wow well yes i'm gonna kill you yeah you don't know it's gone yet this wasn't a one shot i would not allow this in a million years i know we brought all the bastards back didn't we We brought all the bastards back, didn't we? Billy Bear's not. Sunshine's not.

Century's gone insane. He's a douchebag. He's a douchebag. Wait until the other one rocks up. Wow, this is already good, huh? Right, so... Yeah! Fuck you! Right, pass me a pen,

because I just want to sketch something out on this so I can track something a bit easier. So... Is it where the horse is? Yeah, basically, I want to do an actual bit of tracking here. I want this horse to run me down so bad. I'm ready. We do that as 10 foot spaces.

So 10, 20, 30. And then that one's the muddy one. And this one we've got 10, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, He's trying to figure out where the horse is. Oh, I see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. So there's literally nothing here. I'm furious.

So aqua mamba, you jump out of the thing and the horse moves 120 feet. So it just rockets down and turns around the corner. Can I go look right and cast light? Yeah Yeah, yeah, what's that way? So what it does is it goes down. So it's 15 10 15 so it goes down 15 feet and then it turns to the east and it basically follows a lot corridor would know Exactly the same as what was above So the corridor would know. Exactly the same as what was above.

Looks like a loop. Yeah. It seems to be a circuit that the horse is using to rotate around. Okay. Do you dash back before it comes around? Just go in. Okay. And then wait for its next one.

Then I'm going to try and go for it. Okay. So you move 5, 10, 15, 20, and then there is a 10-foot gap of mud. What do you want to do? I'm going to be stuck there. I'm going to dash, though. I'm going to use my little cane because I have a little cane. Okay.

And pole vault. Acrobatics check. Acrobatics. Thank you. Acrobatics. Very good. Nice, nice, nice. Just a plus one.

Thirteen. Thirteen's enough, yeah. I'll let you make it with thirteen. So you hop over. So you end your dash literally just on the other side of the mud. Your movement, sorry. So then you want to dash and keep going. Do you duck into the corridor or are you just going to keep going?

I'm going to duck into the corridor. Okay, so you duck back into that original room. Okay. Yeah. Basically, if anybody duck back into that original room. Okay. Yeah. Basically, if anybody else wants to do the same thing, you guys can make it to that corridor safely because you know how to time the horse now. Okay, cool. Yeah, same to me.

Okay, so you all rush into that room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Speed it up a bit. Okay, so you all wait for the timing. You all one by one run across through the corridor, run into the thong, and then the horse repeats the cycle.

So you messed up the levers. Hey, that's closed again. No, it's open again. Is it open again? She pulled the green lever and it opened again. No, this one is closed. That one's open. The one to the main room, the room that exploded is now open. Cool. Gotta be autumn, right?

In there? Well, I mean, it's already exploded, so I guess what harm could it do to go in there now? It's kind of hot in there, so I wouldn't put a torch in there, just from experience last time, because, you know, I can't constantly explode. It's probably humid from all the foliage in there

and a lot of oxygen. Okay. Which a torch adding to that, boom. We could go all the way to the skull shack thing down there. Yeah, I think we should do that. or follow where Felix got smashed a fucking show you you pull lever to open the portcullis it's to do with the pain oh yes the different levers attack in different rooms etc etc well the red one was the one that the green one the green one opened one in the opposite set off traps in the

opposite room as did the red one remember the talk the opened one in the opposite, set off traps in the opposite room. As did the red one, remember? The red one set the traps off in here. So if we pull the green one, the red will be... Yeah, the portcullis opens and you hear the gouts of flame erupt in that room you started in. There you go. Bingo. Bingo. Bongo.

I can play bongos too. Don't interrupt me. I'm good at banging drums. That tiny drum. Oh, boy. It's getting real hot in here. That's the fire. Would you like to take off your clothes?

No, no, no, no, no. Please don't. No. This is a very traumatic experience. Century, where are you going? Century's right where you're going. I love it. Yeah, yeah.

I want to send Echo through the boom-lol room. So you bring Echo out, and you send him through. So Echo has dark vision. The room was once full of, like, grass and foliage. Now a lot of it is burnt away and tattered remains. And he kind of scouts through the room. It is... I've got to find it now.

Room five. Oof. The room, yeah, is drooping vines and odd jungle foliars that's now mainly been burnt away. The room itself, you can see that there is a door on the southern side. It's about, it's 15 foot wide and 5'10", 15, 20, 25 long. Cool.

You can see that there are, in the very centre of the room, there is the corpse of a dragonborn warrior. Um, you can see that there are in the very center of the room. There is the corpse of a dragon born warrior. Here's to be wearing splint mail armor and a great act is beside him. Oh, nice. Um, you can also see, uh,

yeah, a stone door on the Southern side, basically on the Southern, Southern wall. Cool. Um, there's a door through there. If we can get,

you did ignite it. And I would say with Echo's dark vision, on the eastern side of the wall, it appears that there once would have been a wall of vines that would have hidden a small alcove where a stone door resides behind it. Oh, cool. Two doors in there.

Should we go in? Anything else in the room? There's a dead dragonborn. Right. Freshly dead. Blow it up. Looking at the dragonborn's corpse, it looks like it's been dead for a while. Something erupted from its skull and arms

leaving a gory mess. Kind of like something grew out of its skull and popped. Cool. Something blew up its head from the inside. Blew up? Yeah. Sunshine, I think you killed a guy. Oh no! He's dead.

But he's been long dead. He's dead? He's been long dead! He's been long dead, it wasn't me. We don't know that, Sunshine. He just, she just said. Fucking, all right, sunshine, sunshine. All right, well, should we put a torch in there and just blow it up again just to be sure? Yeah.

All right. I mean. Got any torches? Yeah, I've got quite a few. So you light a torch and go in? I mean, I could just. Oh, go in. I could just. do you want fire?

Are you trying to make it hot or do you just want to illuminate it? Well if it's all gassy in there still. Oh okay fine. Just blow it up, get rid of the gas and then we'll charge through. I don't think it was gassy. It was like mushroomy, spory kind of grossness. She set fire to the foliage and it was heavily oxygenated and something else blew up as a consequence maybe of the fire. He's got it.

No. I'm just saying you're idiots. Why don't you go first then, Michael? I don't want to. I'm not an idiot. What's the plan? Go first. Do we want to go to where the skeleton is? Skeleton or fire? Skeleton fire. Skeleton fire. I say we pay

Felix Navid's dad a visit. Do you know what? Courage. Poor guy. Courage. A little courage. And I'm just going to take my bagpipes out and start playing. And then walk into the room.

You step into the room. Heavy smell of... The oxygen is very rich in here. There is the smell of burnt plants and fibers and things like that. But yeah, nothing attacks you. The body of the dragonborn probably was like partially kind of like ripped apart by the explosion as well. Sorry, is it old or is it new? It's quite old.

Okay, okay. Like maybe like a month. Oh, okay. So we didn't, she didn't. You don't think so. With most of the foliage burnt away, it's actually quite easy to navigate this room. If you had entered here before the fire, you would have struggled to move through it without having to cut it down and things like that. But the fire has cleared it all out, basically.

And yeah, you see that there's a door to the south, and there was this hidden door that's now been revealed by the flames that have burnt it away. The door on the eastern side that was hidden, intense heat emanates from it. Like, you can see glowing runes in the stone side and it's burning with fire. The eastern door, yes. Seek the rune at autumn's end. There you go! Oh! Goal!

Whoa! Level up! Hang on! We hit 1,950,000! Right. Two minute timer starts now. So we're level up Hang on! We hit 1,950,000! For charity! Two minute timer starts now. Oh! So we're level up again. Can we get up to 2,000,000?

The next donation goal is 2,000,000! What? 50k! 50,000 to level up again! No, alright, fine. 5k. Another 5k. 5k!

So 1,955,000 will level up. You guys are level 5 now? I'm level 3. I want her to die. You're level 3? I'm gonna get in. Oh god, I have to do Master of Intrigue stuff. What Bard college do I want to do?

I've never met a Bard before. What languages do I want to do? I've never been a bard before. What languages do I want to learn? What the fuck does the College of Glamour do? Sounds fantastic. Abyssal. Fuck it, glamour. Celestial. Sure.

Compelled Jewel. Compelled Jewel. Fight me! I'm a monk as well. You took the next third, yeah. The four-way multi-class is happening. Were you a monk last time as well? Yeah, he was-way multi-class is happening. Were you on Monk last time as well?

Yeah, he was in Bard Monk Rogue, yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Aqua Mamba. Aqua Mamba has reached full. 53 seconds. If you finish early, you get more time to explore the dungeon. You do have one hour. Right.

Okay. It's not fine. If you don't get out of here, all of these characters die and you don't get a gift. So sentries in the room. No presents. I'm in. I'm gonna follow and I wanna loot the dragonborn. Okay. Suit of splint mail and a silver greataxe.

Fantastic. Thank you very much. That's nice. Did you write PlayStation symbols to symbolize glyphs? It's runes. Cool. Way to see it, Sean. Yeah.

Cool. So which door is the stone door? The splinted mail. They're both stone doors, but one has runes and emanates heat. Yeah. Cool. So which door is the stone door? They're both stone doors, but one has runes and emanates heat. This one doesn't. This one was the hidden one. No, the other one was the hidden one.

How do we open it? Are any of you good at looking to see if things are trapped? Because I'm really not. Yeah, pretty good. Yeah? I'll do that. Forge that man. I'm going to. Yeah, pretty good. Yeah? I'll do that. Forge that man. I'm going to do

an investigation. Time. Nobody, stop. Stop with your characters. So, splint, mail, and what else are we? Silver greataxe. Ooh, nice.

Can I do an investigation? On which door? The rune door. Okay, how are you investigating it? I'm going to have a look. So you're just looking at it.

Perception check, then. Yeah, I'm not going to touch on it or anything. Perception check, then. Yeah, I'm not going to go touching it or anything. Perception check, then. Okay. Investigation, you actually have to interact with it. 16. 16.

So first thing you notice is, yeah, this is radiating magical heat, and these runes, some sort of magical ward, some sort of protection or spell or something that's behind it. Then we've got this spell. This spell. The... Nope. Nope. I could charm it.

I'll tell you what. Which one do we kill to get a dispel? It's not locked. It looks like you can just open it. We could just open it, but it's warded. You. Ah. You got a spell?

I'm wearing the splint mail. It doesn't... I can't, I can't. I've got like you have this advantage on everything yeah what do you want me to do open the door it's also sized for a dragonborn he's a no in that case this deep home wearing dragonborn heavy armor that doesn't he can't most of it doesn't work yet i'm gonna walk over to the rune door and try to open it. If you die, we'll get something more useful.

You take five fire points of damage and the door opens. Get it! It's like you touch it. It's like, ow, ow, ow. It's really hot. And then you open it. Oh. Boom.

Good job. What's inside? So inside, it leads to... God, I've got to scroll right the way down now. So you open the door and a short corridor leads into a circular room lit by crimson lights floating on the curved ceiling. The circular room seems barren, save for three pits. There are three pits about five foot in diameter.

A smooth metal pole runs through the centre of each one Down into the darkness below Like fireman's poles Okay Each pit has script written around the outside edges of the pit Hey, you remember those three paintings in the other room? Death Death

Death, death, death Death, death, death Do you want to go to hell? Do you want to turn into some bones? No No Do you want to do the other thing? What do they actually say, though?

Hey, sexy! Read that shit! What am I reading? The stuff around the edges. So there's like script written around the edges of the pits. Yes, can I read it then, please? It'll last for 24 hours. Oh, does it?

Oh. Really? One hour. It lasts for one hour. It's gone. Is it gone now? It's gone An hour An hour yeah fine You can keep it active So the script

It reads the same thing But it's three different languages Around each pit Elvish Infernal in the middle And draconic The script all translates To the same thing

Those that descend Shall find only death. Interesting. Right. Can I throw a torch down one of them? As soon as it hits the darkness, the torch vanishes. And you don't hear it. It's just silence.

It keeps going. Yeah, it's the three spheres of annihilation. Just keeps going. He's done his face. He's doing his face! How many more torches you got? Wait, wait. Please stop wasting the dear lady's torches. I've got ten. Drop stuff down the other ones. I've got ten. Here.

And I hold up my hand. Blow on that. What? Blow on my hand. I'll go... There you go. Hold up my hand. Blow on that. What? Blow on my hand. I'll go... There you go. You just put your lips together and blow. And then as she blows on my hand, I'm going to conjure dancing lights. Okay. And then send the dancing lights down the hall. As soon as they get about 20 feet down, engulfed by darkness.

Oh. She's terrified. He's terrified. He. Can I send Echo down? Which one? Oh. Uh's terrifying. He's terrifying. He. My dear. He. Can I send Echo down? Which one? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Let's go for the middle one.

Okay. Okay. The 400 feet. So that's the one that has Infernal script written around it. Nice. Okay, so you send, and you go, he just keeps going down. Keeps going down. Is that one that correlates to a painting where they go to hell? Yeah, because it's elf, dragon and tiefling.

So if it's tiefling, then it's going to be... So you send him down. Echo. Oh. As soon as he goes about ten feet down, there's just darkness. Okay. Keep going. Keeps going. Keep going. About forty feet later, he emerges and the shaft continues down and opens up into a large square room.

There's a room down there. There's a room. You have to keep going down, but there's a large square room. What's in the room? The room is 35 feet wide by 30 feet long. The floor is clean and unremarkable. The main feature that draws Echo's attention is a large 15-foot diameter tent with pink and purple bunting that's been set up

in a corner. A small flap entrance has been left open, but an opaque mist fills it. A small wooden sign outside the tent reads Madam Sweet's Fortunes and Favors in elegant cursive font. There is a strange metal door leading

to the west, a stone door to the east, and a heavy iron portcullis in the southeastern corner, also leading east. Sweet. Down the pole. So, no. Okay, you do the doors. So, portcullis, and then door.

Tent. Oh, that's awesome. With some mist opening. There's a tent, some rooms. There's doors. Portcullis. Hey. Sorry. Robot lady.

Hi. Can you put Echo down another hole? Yeah. Go down the dragon one. Yeah. Send Echo down the dragon one. Yeah. There it is.

Okay. Down the dragon hole, yes? Yeah. Okay. Just got to load up something here don't don't mind me guys so the dragon was it in the painting it turned into bones and the elf was it was just a black void but the teeth thing was it turned into a demon it was triumphant it was triumphant turned into a sweet what's echoes AC oh right yeah where is my boy there is ba ba ba ba ba I think he's doesn't say on normally in

your familiar that's the spell but it's thinking it might not be in this sheet I think it's very low. I think it's like 13, 14. Yeah, it's not great. The last thing you see is something. Well, no, you don't see anything because of the darkness spell. Echo vanishes. My Echo dies.

Instantly. I think you take the six of psychic damage. Two psychic damage. But Echo is destroyed. Oh. Echo's gone. Where? He's gone. Where'd he go? I don't know. I didn't see anything, but he's gone. It's destroyed. Oh. Oh, it... Echo's gone. Where? Where'd he go? I don't know, I didn't see anything, but he's gone.

It's just darkness. It's just dark. I mean, you put him down a hole, like... Yeah. Yeesh. I mean, what's gonna happen? Sorry, guys. But the other one had a tent in it. Like a circus tent.

Got any more of them orbs? How far... No, I can only make one. How far down was it? I mean, you could just go down the other one if you wanted. Hey, Tolshank! Ah, yeah. Go down the other hole! Which one? The one we haven't looked down?

The elvish one. I mean, no. Why would I? Why? Why would I possibly do that? Why would I do that? Because Aquamumba tells you to. What about it?

Hear me out. You jump down the hole. I absolutely will not do that. Can I persuade you? I'm not going to make a persuasion. I don't even know how that would work. It doesn't. Um. Carlos, you're going to jump down the hole. I'm not going to make a persuasion. Carlos, you're going to jump down the hole. I absolutely will not do that. Can I persuade you? I'm not going to make a

I don't even know how that would work. It doesn't. Carnival tent? Maybe we should go there. Maybe there'll be someone else. So Tromp's like really thinking like, what can I do? I can see him, he's like How about, how about, Sunshine what if you go down that other hole?

No. Yeah. What about to get your scarab of protection back, huh? Down the hole, maybe? Do you want to get your scarab? Get your scarab. You're a horrible, horrible person. No. No, not horrible.

I've been near the hole. You are in the top. He's dangling the scarab over it. Yes, he absolutely is. He's right next to it. Oh, Billy's too nice. I think you are quite possibly. He's a very, but he is bullying a very pretty young lady.

He is bullying a very pretty young lady and he's stood next to a hole. What? No, I mean, we need to test the holes. I'll look at Billy and just go. Oh. Oh, my dear. What could I possibly do to make you happy? Make him stop bullying me.

Fine, if you're not going to go down the hole, you're not going to go down the hole. Sentry. All right, follow Echo. Echo's already gone. Yeah, I know, follow it. it no echo went down the dragon hole yeah i know but follow it down you're over the elf hole yeah he's over the elf i mean you're the keen one look maybe they convert i'm looking he's good why don't we do you're the whole fanatic you

you give it a try i'll try and sleight of hand the scarab off of tall sheep it's gonna be very difficult. Molly's arguing. Do you know what? So you're going to do it with disadvantage. I've got a plus six on Slime Hat. That Scarab is going to make the rounds. Disadvantage for you, Troy. Oh, shit.

That's a five. Okay, so ten. Passive perception on Tholshank? Twelve. Yeah. Our Cormamumber is like... He puts his hand from the side of you. He's like...

Oh, shit! I'm going to go down the pole to the tent. To the tent. So you just jump on the pole. You reach for that. And then jump. You slide down into the other room. I mean, this is your thing.

Sewers. Or, you know Holes Poosnake Pipes Right yeah you slide down You arrive in the other room You know what I forgot about my snake

It sleeps somewhere I'm not going to pass up the opportunity To slide down the pole Wait what I will slide down the pole Which one The teething one The tent one Okay yeah you slide down You land. Wait, what? I will slide down the pole. Which one? The Teefing one. The Teefing one.

Okay, yeah, you slide down, you land next to Aquaman. Slide down. You go, slide down. Yeah, yeah, slide down, yeah. So we see... I mean, at the moment, Sensory, Tosang,

are you sliding down to join them or are you going to go off and do your own thing? Slide, punt him down the hole. I mean, we could just... Just drop kick him down the hole. What? No, I mean, we could just- Just drop kick him down the hole. What? No, I mean, we could- Sparta!

Make your attack roll for me. Damn it! You go kick him. Don't fall. He steps out of the way and you're like, what? There's a pole there, so you grab the pole and slide down. But yeah. Bye!

Just a deep sigh, and I walk off the edge as well it's just why you just dropped you just want to drop there's a whole pole there I mean there's a pole there I'm going to take the pole

I just mean like I was picking up dice to roll full damage no I mean I'm taking the pole okay sure yeah you all slide down you end up in the pole

although I do have in the pole room although I do have massively heavy armour that I that is down. You end up in the pole. Although I do have... In the pole room. Although I do have massively heavy armour that I... That is true. Does he lose grip in the pole? Yeah, sure. Make enough legs to it.

Alrighty. Athletics? Yeah. Disadvantage because you're wearing armour you're not proficient with. True. I rolled the exact same thing. 11. 11?

That's enough. The pole's easy to jump on. It's hard to climb shimmy up and down the pole, but sliding down it's easy. Cool. Sexy man. Hi. Billiam. Billiam. Billy.

What did it specifically say in the messaging? Go down and you will what? Those that descend shall only find death find death yeah we didn't die so we're about to meet death possibly sweet go talk to him okay you're pretty nice with your words and stuff for a kiss I will don't kiss death no kiss me on the cheek I'm not doing that in front of him whoa whoa whoa why me you're a horrible person you gotta cheek. I'm not doing that in front of him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, why me? Because you're a horrible person.

You've got to turn around. I'm going to stand behind Billy, just glaring at Talshank from behind. All right, fine, I turn around. When he turns around, I'm going to try and steal the scarab off him. Eleven. He's trying to steal it again. I know he's going to do it. Just wave it around.

Oh, wow. Kiss the guy. God, jump. I do it. Okay, once he kisses me on the cheek, I will go and I guess... There's no door, is there? There's a flap, but it's opaque. It's like an opaque mist. Okay, once he gives me on the cheek, I will go and I guess... There's no door, is it? There's a flap, but it's opaque. It's like an opaque mist.

Okay, can I just be like, knock, knock, knock? No response. What's the name on the tent? Madame Sweets. Madame Sweets. Madame Sweets. No response. Sounds like a nice name.

I bet. A really nice person. Yeah, I'm sure they get a lot of football. Boom. really nice person. Yeah, I'm sure they get a lot of football. Oh, that sucked. Do you know what? Since we've only got like 45 minutes left and I really want

my third character to come out, can I just open the flap? The flap's open. It's like an open but it's filled with a logo. Can I walk in?

Just walk in. Okay, are you going in? Alright, so the two of you go an open, but it's filled with Just walk in. Okay. Are you going in? Alright, so the two of you go in. Anybody else? Yeah, I'll walk in. Is that true? Yeah. Watching. Alright, so you stay outside. Okay. Alright, the rest of you enter and you find yourselves you step into a tent which is far bigger on the inside than it appeared on the

outside. Nice. It's very well decorated. There's a heavy sense of incense and lavender. Little braziers and candles burn on many large wooden cabinets and bookcases, all stuffed with jars and trinkets, books, boxes, all that sort of thing. There is a round table in the middle, covered in silks, from which an old woman with orange skin, matted grey dreadlocks, curved horns and red eyes is staring at all of you as you enter.

Sorry, what? Staring at you all as you enter. Sorry, what? Staring at you all as you enter. Oh, hello. Some visitors have come to see Madame Sweets. Hello. Have you been exploring old Marcus's dungeon? Marcus? Yeah, we have.

Oh, what a shame. He's such a naughty wizard. He's a bastard, actually. Yes, quite the little bastard he is. He is. Little prick. You're a funny little one. You can't talk now.

How sweet. Well, what can Madame Sweet do for you? We're looking for a key. Oh, yes. Well, the key's to escape. Two keys. Yes, I could tell you where to find them, if you wish. Great.

Yes. Well, there is a small catch, of course. First of all, well, you see, I'm being a little peckish. It's been a while since I've had any visitors. So the first things first is, if you want to leave my tent alive, solve my riddle, or I'll eat one of you. That's funny, isn't it? Yeah, it's hilarious, actually.

Isn't it? You have to un-tail me. But if you do, oh, one of you. That's funny, isn't it? Yeah, it's hilarious actually. Isn't it? You have to un-teal me. But if you do... Oh yes, you might be quite difficult but there's other uses for you. Yeah, sounds good. But if you do answer correctly then you're free to come and go as you wish

and Old Madam Sweets has a few trinkets to sell and some secrets to trade. Including where the key is? Yeah, well no, I'll tell you that for free. Oh, now? No, after the for free. So, you ready? You ready for a little riddle? If not, I'm going to eat one of you. Normally I charge for that, but sure. What a naughty bear. So, if you're ready, Slayer of Regrets, old and new, sought by many but found by few. What am I? I won't give you very long. Slayer of regrets, old and new. Sought by many but found by few. What am I? What do we say? Five minutes? Sounds good. Just put it on my little device here. What is that? It's a voice.

Oh, don't worry about it. It's an old arcane thing. What does Samsung mean? It's the name of a wizard. Samus Sung. Great wizard, marvelous artificer. Samsung, oh there was plenty of them. That's the number 362. G362. You should be worrying more about the riddle, mate. Yeah, I probably should actually. How many guesses can we have?

Three. Alright, can I guess one? That's a good classic number, isn't it? Three guesses? It's pretty classic. Whoa, good luck in there! You can't hit any of this, by the way. So as soon as they step through, when they touch the mist, to you, it looked like you just moved through into the tent. To Aquamama, they vanished.

Slayer of Regrets. Salt by many. Three is too nice, chat. I've been saying. Really? You can have three. Three. Slayer of Regrets.

That's just Sid. Found by few. Salt by many. Found by few. Slayer of Regrets. Old and new. Salt by many, but found by few. Slayer of Regrets.

Old and new. Salt by many. Is it... Truth. Redemption? Oh, yeah, many, but found by few. So I regret old and new. Is it... Truth. Redemption? Forgiveness? Forgiveness. Yeah, forgiveness. Oh, sort as in the other spelling.

Well, what do you spell? Sort as in sorting hat, sorting. Sought by many. Like post. Yeah. In the answer, post. Royal Mail. Is it... Makes more sense. Many regrets in the Royal Mail.

Is it... Is it... Two Nine of Diamonds? Is that your guess? No. No. But it is rare. I was going to have a Nine of...

Two Nine of Diamonds reference in the other game I run, but they didn't fucking go with my plans, did they? That's a shame. There you go. There's one. Yeah, there we go. Hey, lady, forgiveness. Technically the wording isn't the same,

but I'll give it to you. Go on then. That was my first thought. Redemption or forgiveness. Nice. Redemption or forgiveness. Nice. Wow.

You got both of them. The old rule queen does it again. Yes, very good. Very well done, yes. Yes, terrible shame. I would have eaten you quite happily. So the two keys, one of them is on this floor. The other one is on the floor that you came from.

Okay. All right. The key in this room is in the chambers to the, I must orientate myself, east. The key can be found in one in the chambers to the... I must orientate myself. East. The key can be found in one of the chambers to east. You should be careful of the breeze. Right.

On that side. However, to get to it, well, you'll either have to risk a dangerous trap, or if you head to the west, you can find a key that will enable you to take a little shortcut. What's in the west? More of Marcus's devious traps. I'm afraid I can't give you any more information than that, or I'll upset him.

And above, if you wish to find the key that... I'm not sure if you've already found it, but there is a frozen chamber past the Iron Horse. Inside the frozen chamber, the key is sealed in a block of ice. But it is guarded. I will warn you of that. Okay. Time stands still. Right, that's that way. Aha, yes, you've got it. Ah. There you go.

Now, if you were looking for any sort of trinkets or some supplies to help you on your way, Nanny could make a, Madam could make a little trade. What do you have, Madam? What do you trade? Potions of healing, a magical axe, some little trinkets, perhaps.

And what is your price? Well, something unique and special, I'm afraid. No mere coin. A scarab. Oh, I'd certainly take a scarab of protection. Bam. One night with me, I could sing you a songab of protection. Bam. One night with me? I could sing you a song.

I've brought my pipes. How about your voice? Oh. My singing voice? Or... Oh, madam, you have me at an impasse. What are the trinkets? There is an ever-smoking bottle, a potion of growth.

Oh, I do have a broom of flying still handy. The broom of flying will cost you quite the price. A scarab? No. A scarab and her voice. A scarab is a mighty magic item. A scarab of protection is a mighty powerful relic, but I fear that Marcus would be too unhappy for me

to give you the broom for such a trinket you could find here in his own dungeon. I would like to remind people that we don't have much time left. All right, well, lovely meeting you. Yes, yes, yes, on you go, off you go then. Should we go to the west? Is this a shortcut, or...? Shortcut!

So while you've been doing this, Aquaman, what have you been doing? Looking at the doors. Okay. Which ones? East and west. So the one leading to the east is a heavy stone door with a very obvious lock.

A big, heavy lock. The one to the west is open. It's not locked. Has it got a tumbler in there? Do you want to check? Yeah. So investigation check. 18.

18. So the one to the east is definitely locked. It is trapped. You're not quite sure what it would do, but there's a mechanism. If you try and force the door open, if you try and pick the lock and fail, you could trigger a mechanism and you don't know what it would do. The one to the west is not locked, not trapped. I'll kick it with my foot.

Well, the cane. Which one? The east door? The one that can open and isn't trapped. Okay, yeah, it just knocks open and it leads into a corridor that goes 5, 10, 15, 20, about 25 feet straight in front. So this way here, basically you get like a 25-foot corridor like this. Huh.

Huh. Stone flag, stone floor. Seems to have split into a T-junction at the end. I'm going to throw my cane down the corridor. Yeah, gonna throw my cane down the corridor. Yeah, you throw the cane down. Like how far, like 15 feet? As far as I can, yeah. Yeah, it goes, I'd say with your strength,

like 15, 20 feet. Huh. Well, actually like 10, 15 feet, you're only small. I'll take a shoe off. Okay. Throw it on the first flagstone. Nothing happens. Second shoe. Very cube, I like it. Second. Okay. Throw it on the first flagstone. Nothing happens. Second shoe. Very cube, I like it.

Second. Yeah. Bit further. Yeah, doesn't trigger anything. Ha! Wham! They're in there for five minutes, like, talking, doing riddles. Put my shoes back on.

Okay. Take them off again and throw them a little bit further. Yeah, nothing. Until I get to the cane. Okay, yeah, no traps. Ah! Interesting. What's at the end? It seems to just split into a T-junction, so it's like flat stone wall, T-junction going left and right. Okay, I'll have a look left. Okay. You see, when you get to the edge, you see that the corridor, as it splits to the left and right, it curves upwards and there's like a ring. It's like a stone ring. So, like, the sides curve up and you see that those curves directly to the east and west, they form like platforms and there are rooms beyond that.

There are also little stone hatches. So, if I... Who's got a spare piece of paper that I can draw on? Can I draw on this? Yeah. Just use the tattered remains of our character sheets yeah they're all ripped though so imagine it's kind of like

oh good circle almost a perfect circle so imagine I don't know if you'll be able to see that very clearly so aqua number is X it curves up and then there are two stone hatchways on the wall You'll be able to see that very clearly. So, aqua number is X. At the very bottom of the circle. It curves up, yeah.

And then there are two stone hatchways on the wall. And then there are corridors leading off. Right? So, a hatchway. Yeah. So, imagine it's kind of like that. So, you're like in a ring and it's kind of like a stone circle. Like a hamster wheel.

I'm in a... Oh, right. A sphere. More like a hamster wheel. It's like flat. Like a cylinder. Yeah. Like a cut through part of a cylinder. You're in a cylinderster wheel. Oh, right, a sphere. More like a hamster wheel, because it's like flat, like a cylinder. Yeah, like a cut-through part of a cylinder. Huh. Well,

better wait for the beach shields. Okay. So you're just going to go wait for them? Okay. Eventually you guys come out of the tent. So east is the shorter way. I'm just very aware that we have very little time left. I thought west was the shorter way.

No, no, no. West is the one that takes you to the key that has uh deactivates the traps the shortcut well look there's a big key on the door to the east a lock west is the one that takes you to the key that opens this thing and then that opens the key all right let's go west then traps more traps easter what are you saying where are we going no that's not right she said she that what she said? She said... I'm pretty sure Easter's on my job to tell you now. He said East but what's...

What's Sentry doing? Sentry! Hello! Sentry! I'm going to cast Searing Smite on my axe. Okay. And break down the east door. Wonderful.

Okay. So you attack that eastern door. Yeah, if I see her doing this, can I give her parting inspiration? Sure. Yeah! Oh, one second, darling. One second as you raise the axe. attack that eastern door. Can I, if I see her doing this, can I give her a party inspiration? Sure. Yeah. Oh, one second, darling. One second,

as you raise the axe and you're like about to rage or whatever. I'm just going to be like, one second, darling. Let me sing you a little ditty and then I power up the bagpipes.

Hey! Yeah! Making them sacral, are we? So, party inspiration. You get a that's an 18 so deal damage so you have searing smite

that's a level 2 spell so 1d6 fire damage so that's 3 extra fire damage on top of 1d8 plus 2 I'm a d8 top of one d8 plus two. I'm a d8. I'm a d8.

And that's five, so that's eight damage in total. Okay, the axe embeds into the stone door, and you do chip away some of it and blast, you scour some of it. Come on. on okay hang on so as you do so um here we go the ceiling of this room yep um there are kind of must bebe-camouflaged vents that would need to be examined up close. Begin pumping in a thick orange poison that fills...

But I'm immune to disease. You're immune to disease. Wait, no. Not poison. Oh, yeah. So when a creature enters the spells area for the first time... In fact, actually, because it has to drop down, the ceiling's about 30 feet high,

and it's kind of like filling from the top and dropping down. You have one round. And the door to the west where Aquamama went is still open, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm going through that. Okay. I'm just going to go into that room with

Aquamama. Does it look like sentry damage the door? Barely. It's heavy stone. That'samumba. Does it look like Sentry damaged the door? Barely. Like chipped. It's heavy stone. That's the thing. It's just like really heavy stone. She's bedded into the axe.

It's not a magical axe or adamantina or anything like that. It's just chipped it and then scorched it. And then hitting the door has obviously set off the mechanism. And now this poison cloud is literally descending. What's the rest of you doing? Can I see if I can... Well, that was the trap that the door... was. Watch the breeze.

Watch the breeze. That's what Madame Sweets said. Can anyone disarm traps? Okay, so you're staying in the room. Uh... Can I move towards... this... as I say that?

Okay. Can I... I'll just be... Can I... Can i pop back into madame sweets's tent no i think i think that the mist so part of the trap activating part of the trap activating would have probably temporarily disabled the entrance wanted to make a bargain with her no do a sexy So the, so you go to move into the tent, and you're like, like, the mist is, like, solid now, it's like ice, you're like, uh-oh.

Yeah, and you're like, madam, uh, madam, a word, please? No response. Dolce? Uh, I've gone into the, oh, you went into the corridor. Hey! Century, you just still by the door? Uh, I should be like, well, alright, then just walk out. So you just stomp across the room? Yeah, just like, I don't have a dice screen. So, five, ten, fifteen, yeah, you can dash, you right. Then just walk out. So you just stomp across the room?

Yeah, just like, I don't have a dice. Five, ten, fifteen. Yeah, you can dash. You can just dash and get out. Right. So I think the only one who's still in there is Billy Bear, who's like, madam, madam. Well, yeah, can I start?

I guess, I don't know. That's the one round, though, isn't it? You have enough movement, I'd say. Then I'll move out as well. Okay. So the poison fills that room that you were just in. Doesn't show signs of dissipating. It's just constantly pumping in this gas. But it's not coming into your corridor.

Hey, Aquamumber. So, uh, sentry smashed on the door, filled the room with poison. Can't go that way. Well, looks like it's this way. What'd you find? I found two holes in a cylindrical room. Okay, how much time we got left? Like, 30 minutes? Uh, you have 30 minutes. All right, we need to move. All right. Go through the tunnel.

In the tunnel. So the two smallest go into the two holes. Yes. Wait, how do we go through? The hatchways, a medium creature can go through there. But they're like a little kind of, you just have to open it

and then crawl through them, basically. So what you're saying is Aquamumba and Sunshine. Tolshank and Sunshine. Aquamumba. Sunshine. Oh, so first, Aquamumba. I've heard of you, actually is Aquamumba and sunshine Aquamumba, sunshine I'll say first, Aquamumba I've heard of you actually, Aquamumba Aren't you famous for going through small holes? It's not just what I'm known for

Okay, that was earlier Did you know that it goes through a toilet? No, no, that was Look, I'm going through the damn hole So south and north, so like that I'll go south, open up the south hole. So south and north, so like that. I go south. South hole. Open up the south hatchway. So you go south, right?

So the second Aquamumba, so Aquamumba moves in. What are the rest of you doing? Just waiting? Waiting. Just watching to see what he does. Watching. Okay, so Aquamumba goes south. As he goes south, the whole ring begins to rotate.

Oh. Bringing the hatchway and then the corridor, but, like, coming down below you. So you just go until you can get to the hatchway. As soon as this happens, gallons of acid pour down from this corridor and fill this whole area. Oh, cool.

Yay! Everybody, you don't... Well, nope, because it's tipping the whole amount. Whole amount? Yeah, but we're in here. Yeah. And it's like it's a five-foot channeled corridor that floods it. It's perfect.

It's perfect. Wait, no, I'm confused. I thought it was that way. The entire area. Yeah, so it's basically like that. So you rotate it around. He's gone that way, and then this corridor is now above you and dumps it all like this. In fact, actually, no, because the corridor is straight down below.

So most of it won't hit you guys. It's just going to hit Aquamumber. Because that's not pulled over. So make a dexterity saving throw, Aquamumber. You're still going to take some. Ten. Cool. You take 11 points of acid damage and then add another eight points of acid damage and then another 8 points of acid damage.

It's been ages since I've done acid damage. Can you also make... Oh, you're unconscious? I'm down, yeah. Okay, so your body falls down the shaft that's now below you and just slams into something down there. The room then resets. Shit. then resets. The acid comes dribbling down and sloops down into the bottom of the ring and begins pouring over your feet.

Oh! Probably minor damage. No. That's not nice. Actually, no. All of it would come pouring out. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Yeah, I was going to say. I didn't.

17. 6. 19. 17. 17. so everybody who got above uh 15 you half the damage you're gonna take half of 13 six so 13 for tollshank as the acid basically comes pouring down the ring and then now floods into the corridor, like kind of, pfft, pfft, pfft. My brogues. And fills through.

Aquamanber, you're pretty much dead. Cause your body would have taken death saving throws from impacting on the bottom. There, well, I mean, maybe, maybe let's see. So mark one death saving throw. You guys all have an action. Ow! So, ow!

I'm sure I'm dead now. Can I see his body? How much acid can there still be on there? Is it fallen or is it fallen? So, all you know, so this did this and dumped a load of acid down. His body is now down here, but you don't know what kind of room this is. You do hear a loud, a really loud thud. Like stone on stone thud.

Yeah, Feather Fall's not going to help. Has anyone got a way of waiting down one side? And I'll just crawl down the south side. Oh, we have to go at the same time. Who's the same size? So we stop the... I can't get through, I'm too big. Everyone stand on the north side.

I can get through. Everyone stand on the north side. Sunshine will get through. Everyone stand on the north side. Sunshine will crawl down the south side. That's not going to work. Why not? We're all standing on the north side. We'll weigh it down. I'm going to start crawling somewhere.

I don't know. You and me. You're the same size or we're the same size. You and me, darling. It's pairs. So you both go up one side each or you're both going to go... We're going to go separate. Okay, so who's going where?

So who's going to go north and who's going to go south so north is towards the room where the acid has come from so you go up do you want to go in the hatch or you're going to go look in the room uh i guess i'll go as i'll see what what's not she's doing in china so century what are you doing are you going in the hatch or you want to go where aqua mama's body is i'm gonna like try and like watch yeah try and like go at the same time so you both get to here and then you're looking at each other make another death saving throw Aquas 16 that's a success

so then what do you guys want to do go in the hatches start going into the rooms into the rooms not the hatches the hatches are like flat against the wall there's like little hatches in the wall and then there's a corridor this is a bit confusing I know it's hard to describe so imagine that these aquamumber

is in the tunnel are you going he's in the tunnel but these circles are stone hatches like flat so imagine this is the wall yeah the hatches are in the wall and open it out but the corridors continue going on and away from the ring a corridor he went through a corridor he didn't go through the corridor then okay and then you go down the other one so you look into this corridor and you can see that basically off of the ring like continues in this weird shape right and you look down and there's like a 20 foot drop that would have been filled with acid it's been run smooth so when this turned up all the acid poured out and came out, right? Okay, yeah. So you're looking down that.

Century, you crawl in this one, and on the other side, it's the exact opposite, right? There's a 20-foot room above it. Aquamumber's body... You don't need to make death-saving throws. When Aquamumber's body fell in there, you can see the remnants of some sort of rope or material that was holding up an enormous stone boulder that the acid has melted and dropped and oh my god crushed again that boulder is now resting in the room and if it rotates it's gonna the boulder will drop so it's either boulder or acid and i feel like we

got the raw end of the deal there all right kind of dropped the boulder if you crawl out you and you and billy could go in little hatchways and crawl into those like hatchways hatchways my dear hatchways yeah okay let's crawl in the hole so you make your way into the tiny hatchways um both of you see almost exactly the same thing you crawl through these little hatchways um and you emerge there's like a tiny little kind of like three foot like cylinder that you crawl through. And then you emerge into beautiful inn rooms, like bedrooms, bedrooms of an inn.

You can see that there is a comfortable bed, hardwood floors. There's a little bay window, which looks to have like a little illusion of like a pleasant market square. There's a little breeze, smell of fresh bread coming through it. the room has a comfortable looking double bed um with fluffy pillows and blankets there's a small writing desk there's a large chest at the foot of the bed this is all

identical in both rooms right um there's a wardrobe um a purple rug covering the floor and then if you look behind you there's actually a door that would have been like the in-store but it's open so the hatchway just comes out into the open room but there's a door that could close on it as if it was like a little room in an inn right there's two things that are unique kim in your room in billy's room there is an extra chair like an armchair century in the corner of your room there is a hat rack okay do you want to play another character yeah do you have any taran oh but that's your fourth character isn't it this is my third you're not gonna do your third you're not gonna do no no okay all right he wants to nice sure it's a shame we couldn't cross over. You wouldn't have met him, though.

No, I know. I just, yeah. Awesome. I just thought he had another third character. Oh, no. I just realised. It's before he... Right.

So what do you guys want to do? So Sunshine and... Mark, could we please be proper about this? Oh, sorry. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my sheet. That's Aquamumber. That's the wrong sheet in that space.

He's just eating it. Lovely. I do. Oh, you do. Race, big boy. So where does Taran come into? Does he join us in the tunnel? Yeah, Taran joins you in the tunnel, yeah. A portal opens above, and this armoured man.

Hulking. Scar across his face. Short, blonde hair. Armoured. He's tallied in armour, but like blackened. Death Knight armour. Yeah. And a massive sword.

Whoa, you look heavy. Don't go to the side of the room. We're small. Unless we go to the opposite side. He has seen everything. I've seen everything. Oh, yeah. Did you see what happened to Felix?

Yeah. What happened to Aquamamba? Because we didn't actually see it. Oh, yeah. If he's here, that means someone's died. And stone fell on him. It's a shame. Fuck.

Amazing. I don't think that you know the meaning of the word amazing. Oh no, I do. I'm concerned by you. Century and Billy. I'm just going to shout out really loudly, there's a room here! It's rather marvellous. It's wonderful. You can hear this. Yeah, there's an armchair. Oh, it looks so comfortable. I'm going to sit in the armchair. I'm Kim. I want to choreograph that my room is different to your room.

I'm going to metagame the fuck out of this. Because we've got 20 minutes left. I don't care. Sure. I'm going to sit in the armchair. My feet hurt. Oh, my gosh. I don't think we have time to rest, really.

No, please, darling. I've got a kabunkle on my toe. That's very interesting. I've got a hat rack in my room. It's a hat rack? my room. A hat rack? Yes, it sounds just as comfortable as your room, but it's got a hat rack in it. My goodness, the rooms are identical except for

these two things. What could it mean? There's no hat rack in my room. Oh, that's very interesting. There's no armchair in my room. I'm sitting on the chair. You sit on the chair? I'm sitting on the chair. Nothing happens.

Oh, it's very comfortable. Are there any hats on the hat rack? Is there a key? No, it's just a hat rack. I don't have a hat. Does anyone have a hat? Do either of you have doors? Do either of you have keys?

I don't see any keys, no. There's a chest at the foot of the bed. Oh, there's a chest at the foot of the bed? I'm going to open my chest. I'm going to open my chest too, darling. Brilliant. Okay, the foot of the bed. Oh, there's a chest at the foot of the bed? I'm going to open my chest. I'm going to open my chest too, darling. Brilliant. Okay, let's open the chest. You both open the chest.

You open the chest. Inside there is a key with three prongs on it that looks like it matches the door that led away. When you touch the key, you feel some sort of effect come over you. You are currently immune to poison. Woo! Perfect.

When they open the chest, they both have a key, identical keys. When you open the chest and take the key out, the window, like the little bay window, there's like a gust of wind and the door to the room shuts. So it closes off the little hatchway that you came from. Oh. But apart from that, nothing changes. Oh, I'm a bit stuck. You can't hear each other now.

Hello? Oh, shit. Right, they're closed. We can't hear them at all. You can't hear them at all. So their voices just go silent. But the hatches, we see the hatches closed, right? No, hatches are open.

The door is like, imagine you've got a little crawl space. Yeah, yeah. That just opens up into the room. And then this fake door has just closed on the hatch on their side. A real fake door? A real fake door. Wow. Come on, Dan, give real fake doors.

Who loves... I've got so many fake doors all over here. Want to open? Maybe we could try and crawl in and let them out? All right, me and you on one side, Taryn on the other one. I was just thinking that I could go in one, and you could go in the other. Stay in the middle.

You stay in the middle. Perfect. Sure. Yeah. Do you weigh about the same as me? I think you're more... All right. Take the splint off. Hey, take the splint off.

Oh, yeah. All right, that's going to take me five minutes to... I grab him and pull off the splint. The splint? Splint mail. Ohint? Splint mail. Oh, the splint mail. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, sure.

Is there a seam to this? Yeah, you can put the splint mail on. No, a seam to the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's on either side, right? It's a ring. It rotates. Can I jam the splint into it?

Sure, yeah. Make a strength check for me. See how well it wedges. Give yourself advantage because the splint mail's really strong. Saving or just... Just make an athletics check. 19.

You can wedge it. It's not going to move unless you really force it to. Okay, let's go. That's big brain time. Because, yeah, it's a rotating thing. You can just wedge something in and it won't move as much. So you guys go up. You begin making your way through the

thing. What are you guys doing? Are you just waiting, or are you doing a thing? Can I cast Minor Illusion to make a copy of the key and put it in the chest? Sure. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Nice try.

I'm just going to try and smash open the door. So you hit the door with your axe? Yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Roll initiative, please. Initiative? Whatever.

Oh, that's a door. You guys should roll it as well. Oh, okay. I've got an eight. Oh, that's a door. You guys should roll it as well. Oh, okay. I got an eight. What room is this? Natural 20. Five.

I'm just gonna have to look. I've got three HP. Three plus. I wanna kill one. You got two. I've actually got kill three. He wants to kill one more, he just did. I just wanna kill one more.

All right, do it. I'm ready. We're all gonna die in late. Can we make the goal happen? We've got 15 minutes. $1 drive! Come on. $1 drive!

$1 drive! I don't know how many people are watching. If all of you donate a dollar right now, I'm not as good at this as Miles is. Think of the children. The children and the whales and the dolphins. That's like half a flat white. Barely anything.

14,000 people are watching right now. We only need 1,000 to get to the next goal. $1 each. That's $1. Well, it's not even that. That's like 25. Right.

So, initiative. Sunshine. Oh, 22. 22. Toleshank. 22. That's you. Billy.

11. That's me. Taryn. 12. Century. Four. Four. Right. 22 That's you Billy 11 That's me Taryn 12 Century 4 4 Right So

You guys don't get to act Because you don't know Something's going on Just yet But you'll get to go So there's a surprise round Because as Century Hits the door

With her axe The axe sticks to it It sticks to it And the door A giant mouth Opens up and the door a giant mouth opens up in the door and its form begins to shift and it rips you. It's a mimic.

Mimic door! I thought it was going to be a mimic chest but it's a door! It was a door! The door was the real betrayal. Wait, did you go one side? Oh, it has advantage because you're currently grappled. 16 doesn't hit sentry, right?

So it tries to slap you with this tentacle or pseudopod or no, so it tries to bite you as it's kind of got you gripped but it just, yeah,

it can't get through your armor as you're trying to fend this thing off basically. So now you get an initiative because this is part of the surprise round. Cool. So can I pull my axe

out at all or is it just completely? So you're currently grappled by this thing, right? Like whatever this creature is made of, it's adhesive

and it's stuck to the axe so you're currently grappled. You can still attack but you're at disadvantage. Okie dokie. What if I do a spell attack? Just jump. It depends.

If it's still... So is it... What is it? Like moonbeam. No, you'd be alright with that I think. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. I'll cast moonbeam.

Taste it. A little bit more. We do need to finish up bang on time because there's the rust stream after yeah, I'll do that. I'll cast Moonbeam. Taste it. A little bit more. We do need to finish up Bang on Time because there's the Rust stream after us as well. Yeah, so I'll cast Moonbeam on it. All right, sure. Con save of 12. Cool.

I'm going to do 2d10 on a fail. Fails. Okay, so 2d10 Damagios. Sure, go for it. If I can find them. That is very true. Whoa, there we go. That doesn't add to damage.

That's an eight. That's an eight. All right, nice. And this one is a two. So ten. Ten. So So yeah the moonbeam Kind of cascades Radiant energy down On this thing

But it just hisses And it's trying to Bite you to death Alright let's go to the top So Sunshine you hear If you were going to Century's door

So you hear The sounds of fighting And Century pulls away As this door like shape Is like stuck to her And she's being covered by this radiant light. So I can see that now. You can now see that now.

Tolshank, you can just see an empty corridor. Yeah, okay. Come on, let's go, guys! You can see a doorway on the side that Billy's on, you know, the opposite side. Yeah, but nothing's happening on that side. So, Sunshine, you go first. Can I please shoot?

You've got, like, ten minutes. Can I Hunter's Mark? Sure. And then can I shoot... That's a put down for Tom. That's a put down. Bang! We hit it. 1.955 milli.

We're not levelling up right now. You can't level up now. There's no point in levelling up now. It doesn't matter because you haven't escaped. You're all going to die. Yeah. Ah! There's no point in thinking of now. It doesn't matter, because you haven't escaped. You're all gonna die. Yeah, we've got you good there. Basically, we could just call it here, because you're not gonna escape.

We're not gonna escape. Can I try and go out the window? I just wanna go out the window. We haven't even got one key. Go out the window and it's stone. It's like an illusion behind the window. You haven't got a single key. The other key is on the floor above

that you need to climb up the holes to get to. Get past the horse. Can I watch these two scurrying up to their little holes? Just assess and everything's going on. Yeah. Turn around. And just face plant the poison. Just walk into the gas. Just like, take me. Just take me. You just collapse.

Can I just sit? I'm just thinking, I guess we probably... You just live in the room now. Yeah, can I just sit in the armchair and just look around and go, well, I don't really know. I guess I'm on my own. And then just start playing my bagpipes on the chair in this room. Tolshank, I'm guessing, do you try and come in the room? I've got like 3 HP, so I'm just going to fall.

As soon as you touch the door, right, the mimic would stick to you and just eat you. Jeez. I think that Sentry, the mimic would stick to you and just eat you. Jeez. I think that Sentry, the two of you can probably kill this mimic. By the time you finish killing the mimic, however, there is a voice that echoes throughout the dungeon. I'm just going to sit in the little tunnel, huddle in a ball and cry. Okay, yeah, you do that. That's on your snake.

That's what you do. Sentry. Two HP. You were so close. Do you want to just see? Do you want to do one more round of the see like do a- I wanna- I wanna- One more round of the mimic, see if it can finish you off. Let's do it.

Let's see if Sentry can kill this mimic. 10, it does have a partage. 19! Yeah, that hits, that hits! Plus 20, yep, that's 24. Yep. So with its bite it does 2d8 plus 3 damage. Yeah.

That's it. That's- yep, 12, 14 points of damage. Sentry is down. And then it would bite you to death. Damn. Yay! So you know what? Sunshine, the only person to make it all the way through, still died, but... No, you still had your first character.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Kate's still the first character. You still had a character left. I'm not a character. I heard Tolshank was my last one. I think you all had characters. Oh, Tolshank was your last one. He was still alive at the end of it.

However, you didn't escape. Didn't escape. So as you were all in these various circumstances, a voice just comes through over magic. No, no, no, no, no. I'm bored now, bored now. There's other things I want to do. No, you're all going to die.

And a wave of necrotic energy floods through the dungeon and any remaining life you have is killed. But Mark, necrotic? Yeah. If I fear a saving throw against necromancy with my scarab, I'll just do that 12 times. There's no saving throw. Come on!

But I stole the scarab. You did. Man, we spent so much time in a room just to get a scarab. It was always going to happen, wasn't it? Yeah. It was one of those things. I made this particularly large. And I guess just around the corner from that was the ice cube.

So not just around the corner from that. So that whole thing with the horse was a big circuit. Right. The other room was on the other side. There were more of these like hidden mud pits. Okay. So you would have run down it. And if you didn't have a certain passive perception,

you would have fallen in the mud. It becomes difficult terrain. You'd probably get stampeded, right? Cool. But if you get round, there's a room which is frozen, and inside there is a block of ice with a key inside of it. There is a monster in there as well. You would have thought that.

What's with the little rooms we're in now, with the armchair and the hat stand? Please tell me, because you're going to drive me insane. Just to get the key so you can go through the other room. The hat stand and the armchair was just a fucking decoy. It was a fucking... I imagine this was sealed. It was to make you think that, like,

oh, they're a fucking Mimic or some shit Like I don't trust them But I mean So we would have had to Fight to get a way out No the key was just To this door Yeah

That would have taken To the other side Of the second level But how would we Have gotten out Of our little room Fight the mimic Can I just tell you

What my other characters Are going to be Yeah So I had sunshine And then I had Another halfling Called lollipop And another halfling

Called rainbow And they all had Different colours of hair I had a halfling called Lollipop, and another halfling called Rainbow, and they all had different colors of hair, and they were all just little siblings. Yeah, Powerpuff Girls. Hey, Mark, here you go. Here's my character sheet. Oh, yeah. I think that one's so pretty, I think.

My one would be Boomer, and he wrote all over his character sheet. Give them to me. Give them all. One would have died, and then another really annoying halfling would have just turned up and been like, hi! Oh, wow. have died and then another really annoying halfling would have just turned up and be like hi um man mark is scrunching up all those rest in peace everybody r.i.p but the mate do you know who the real winner is though tons of money thank you guys i think what we what we did, we did like two, three, five. Oh god I almost fell off my chair. Five levels, yeah.

And then I did like 250 because it was to get another dodge. So that was like, you know, $20,000, $30,000. So congratulations everyone. Thank you! There's another stream happening right now, it's Rust, PFLAX, I think Spiff's in it, loads of other people. Yeah, for Rust. But hey, thank you guys so much, thank you for supporting a whole year of High Rollers

as well. This was a really fun way to kind of wind it down. I have been working on this dungeon all week And I'm really pleased I'm gonna try and finish it up, and I will post it online It'll probably go as an open post on my patreon. Um no no tears so anybody can access Yeah, you can download it. Hey zero seven rest in peace quill Felix Navidad aqua mumba boomer worthless century sunshine 07, Rest in Peace, Quill, Felix Navidad, Aquamumber, Boomer, Worthless, Century, Sunshine, Toleshank. Oh, Siri has just answered me. All right, well, that's it.

Guys, thank you so much. Have a great Jingle Jam. We'll be back next Sunday. Kim's got a birthday thing, and then we're going to be playing board games and maybe Dread, which is a great RPG. It's going to be really, really fun. We'll see you for that. Bye. Goodbye.

Bye. which is a great RPG it's going to be really really fun we'll see you for that bye goodbye bye bye

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bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye but will be posted onto our YouTube channel if you've missed them. We'll be back in January for the continuation of Erois, so until then, have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. We'll see you then!