High Rollers DnD - High Rollers LIVE at YogCon | Wicked Wit's Wonderium!

Episode Date: August 10, 2019

It's the YogCon One Shot! Welcome to Wicked Wit's Wonderium, where they have a terrible rat problem... This episode is NON-CANON! ('Ugh...' - Tom) Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. Add your team to your Uber account today. DQ presents Picture This. Picture the Reese's Extreme Blizzard. Reese's peanut butter cups and Reese's Pieces in one Blizzard treat. Wait, are you dreaming? No? Then yeah, this Reese's Extreme Blizzard is real. And for a limited time at DQ. Happy tastes good. It's pretty strange to introduce myself, but here we go.

Saving throws need to be rolled. Terrible pretty strange to introduce myself, but here we go. Saving throws need to be rolled, terrible accents need to be attempted, and rules need to be checked. It's time for High Roller's YogCon Adventure! Hello! Hello! Ah! Thank you, thank you. I see a lovely crowd of adventurers waiting for an adventure. Welcome, I am your Dungeon Master, Mark Sherlock-Humes,

and I'll be taking you on a D&D adventure here at YodCon! Let me introduce you to our players for today's adventure. You know him, you love him, he's my favourite Tom, Tom Hazel! And his precious bird boy. Hello. Hello, everyone. Just get it tested, make sure it's working. One. There we go.

Joining him on this side of the room, on this side of the table, our very lovely Scottish princess, Katie Morrison. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Our wonderful newbie, our wee D&Dplaceable, but not in a good way. Chris Trott! Chris Trott! You just have a jar of sweets with you, do you? He forgot his tablet, because he doesn't have a mic so you can hear him. Last, but certainly not least, Kim Richards. Hi.

Now, Kim, just because I know that you come prepared for everything, do you have a spare set of dice for Trot? Okay, good. Right. Excellent. With that, let us pick up our microphones and play some Dungeons & Dragons. How does that sound? Yeah, sounds great.

Excellent. Hello. Hello. So. Hello. Hello. Hello. Everyone can hear you?

You can hear everyone yes I like the fact that you guys are keeping the mics away from Trot as much as possible I mean that's probably for the best I mean he brought sweets but no dice or an iPad

well there's going to be quite a few people here who maybe don't know who we're playing and a little bit about the world of Hyrule's new Rois so why don't we have very very brief tell us who you are playing okay me first? yeah I am playing Kelek Adkala

or Quill for short and he is a Arakokra which is a bird man Bard Cleric so he's support, heal nothing yeah he's that guy up there sweet sweet bird boy, he's also this guy and hopefully he doesn't die in this one shot

lovely, Kay who are you playing? I am playing Ayla, she is a wild elf storm herald barbarian and she's pretty great and she doesn't have much time for anyone else, to be honest. No. No patience for fools. No patience for fools. Chris Trott. Rhiannon, who are you

playing? Hello. I'm playing Century, who is a Guardian Paladin. She is O for the Ancients Paladin, very much the plant mum protector force of the group. Keeping everybody safe. It's my job.

Chris Trot. Who are you playing? Hello, Mark. Hello, Chris. It's really an honor to be playing this game today with you. I heard that the one-shots for the VIPs were amazing. I'll talk about those in a bit. Okay, sweet.

So I'm looking forward to this. It's my first time, so here we go. I'm Lucius Viren Eluin Elinasto. I am a sorcerer of arcane chromat type, which was made up by Mark Humes. He made it all up. It's all fake. But it's great.

I've got... I'm high elf, and I'm very fancy. And I've just gone through an absolute tragedy of a backstory, so thank you for that, Mark Humes. You're welcome, Chris Trott. And I like the fact that you've got your phone there with D&D Beyond playing. Yeah, I've got the lid. Like, propping it all up.

He's really pleased. Does anyone want a sweet, by the way? They're quite warm. They're very warm and hot. Oh, God, how good. All that is a health and safety concern. Anyway, Kim, who are you playing? Tell us.

Hello. I play Nova, Nova V'ger, for all you Star Trek nerds out there. She is a Hexblade warlock and probably the sweetest Hexblade warlock ever. Loves her books. God bless her. God bless her. Yeah, and just super happy about everything. Including the Star of Sweets!

We are very blessed, by the way. We're very lucky to have an old member of High Rollers. He's not here to play, because if I'd planned this ahead, I would have had him as a guest. But he is operating a camera! It's Leffy Toplow! He's already disappeared. You're not going to see him. But maybe I'll have him run over and roll some dice at some point for us to join in.

Our party of adventurers have been brought together through chance, having trekked across the lowlands of Erois. They have fought off spirits, cultists, beasts and more. And now they have found themselves in the sky city of Gusthaven. Gusthaven, a great wonder of magic and technology, a city that travels through the clouds and collects the magical substance known as Ethereum. A booming industry has arisen with Ethereum

enhancing almost any substance it's mixed with, leading to many great corporations and businesses within the city. Whilst waiting for their brand new airship to be built, Yeah, that's definitely a woo! Airship! Airship, yes! the party are approached by a stranger with a proposition. You are all enjoying a fine afternoon meal in the city of Gustaven

when appearing from the crowd is a very well-dressed male tiefling in a long purple tail-coated suit with a purple top hat and a cane that he kind of spins as he walks. And as he approaches you, there is a very clear recognition in all of you, but especially for Lucius. And as he approaches, he doffs his top cap into a very low bow. Well, Lord Elinesto, I believe.

Yes? Ah, so good to meet one of such famed notoriety. Sorry, I've got bitties all over my mouth. Just give me one second. Yes, please do. Bitties everywhere. Sorry. I'm got bitties all over my mouth. Just give me one second. Yes, please do. Gummies everywhere. Sorry.

I'm surprised that you don't have one of your mercenaries to clean for you. No, no, no, no. No, I've changed. Ah, I see. Well, my name is Wit. Wicked Wit, if you would, of Wicked Wit's Wanderium. Perhaps you've heard of me? How could I not have?

No, absolutely not. I love that place. W you've heard of me? How could I not have? No, absolutely not. I love that place. Wicked Wits... What? Wicked Wits Wondirium, my dear Birdman. It's a wonderful place. It's magical. I've never been, but I've heard beautiful stories about it.

It's wonderful. Of course you have, my dear. Well, Lucius, why don't you specifically tell us about it? Yes. I'm going to open my mouth and Mark Humes is going to project through my voice. Okay. Oh, I simply love all of the crazy potions and cocktails and candies that he makes. Quill.

Okay. What do you think of that, Quill? Yeah, I mean, you got me. But yeah, he says, well, I wondered, I've heard lots about you and your little merry band that you brought here to Gustaven. What have you heard? What?

Yeah, what have you heard? Huh? What have you heard? Oh, that you're, you know, warriors of a type, that you've fought all sorts of beasties. Okay, good. That you took down several criminals in the Docklands. I don't feel like a warrior.

Well, you know... I mean, Aayla. Sorcerers or magicians or whatever you are, I don't know. Can I see? Yes, yes, one of those, whatever it is. But I have a proposition for you. My understanding is you are currently funding the construction of an airship, yes? Yes, yes, we

are, yes. A very expensive endeavour yet? Maybe. I think so. I've been told it's expensive. What if I were to contribute some funds towards such an endeavour in exchange for your assistance with the little matter?

No thanks. Wait, wait, wait. We've got it all covered, actually. What's the opportunity? What have you got? Oh, it's nothing. It's very trivial, really. I'm sure nothing. My factory has a bit of a rodent problem at the moment. Some rats running around.

You know the sort. Big, stinky, large teeth. I just need them dealt with. How? You want us to kill some rats? Yes, yes, you're adventurers. You do that sort of thing, don't you? Killing rats? And for such a dangerous task,

how much were you willing to contribute? I mean, what do you think it would be worth? Well. 30,000 gold. I mean, let's. 30,000 gold. I mean, let's... 30,000 gold. I understand that you have a very large hammer, but that is quite a ridiculous sum.

How about something along the lines of... 6,000. Wow. I don't... I really don't like rats. I just... They're horrid things. They're nasty little...

Awful. Are you sure that it's just rats? Yes,'t like rats. I just... They're horrid things. They're nasty little... Awful. Are you sure that it's just rats? Yes, it's rats. Doesn't Gusthaven have exterminators? Sorry? Doesn't Gusthaven have exterminators? I mean, these are very large rodents. When you say...

Rodents of an unusual size, you might say. How large? Say big. Like a small dog. Seems okay. Dogs? Huh? Dogs?

No, no, they're rats. They're definitely not dogs, I promise. Okay. But no, they're just quite... Well, I suppose there is another thing. Some of my workers have taken the opportunity of all these rats to maybe try and shut down my factory, and perhaps if you were to go in there

and encourage them to leave while you dealt with the rats, that would be appreciated as well. You see, more details are coming out now. Is there anything else that you want to let us know about? No. Right. But come on, 6,000 gold to kill some rats? You can't get a better deal than that.

I mean, you sound... I mean, look at his face. It's so sad. It's so honest. I really, really don't care. I mean, it's really not much, is it? Get in there, squash a few ratties with your hammer? How hard can it be? How hard could it be?

How hard can it be? I mean, we always say that. I'll tell you what. I'll throw in some of my company's potions as a deal. You adventure resorts always need those, don't you? Yes, absolutely. Look at this one. She loves potions, I can tell.

Yes. My potions are the strongest potions. The strongly, strongest? Very strongest. They're not for the weakest. You're a potion seller. You're a potion seller. I'm a potion seller. Potion seller. Yes. So you could provide me with your finest potions. My

strongest potions, yes. Maybe not you. Well, we might be going into battle soon and we'll need your strongest potions. We're going into battle. Yes. And we need your strongest potions. Well, perhaps I'll give them some if you kill all these rats. Are you sure these potions aren't too strong for us? They could be. Maybe not for her.

She seems very strong. Okay. You are correct. Good reference. What about salves? Do you have any salves? I have salves, concoctions, poultices, perfumes, all sorts. Healing salves? Lots of healing salves. Oh, salves.

What is a healing slav? That's a long time ago. I don't know. We heard someone say it once. It sounded really dumb. No, don't. Poultices, potions, cocktails, candies, perfumes, all sorts of things. Got any we can try now? They're

inside, I'm afraid. Right. Well, it sounds good enough, don't you think? Honestly, at this point we have nothing better to do. We're kind of just hanging around. Exactly, you have nothing better to do. You might as well. Small disclaimer.

What would your opinion be if your factory was to accidentally burn down? Oh, that'd be quite impossible, I assure you. My factory has some extra planar magic in it. It makes it larger on the inside than it appears. So it'd be very difficult to burn it down. So how big on the inside is it? It's quite large. It's quite a large premises. The main thing I need you to do is to clear out

the Ethereum refinery inside. Okay. It's very easy to access. You just go in. The matron will send you on your way. There's a small river ride. You take that and then that will take you straight to the refinery. A river ride? Yes, yes, yes.

In a warehouse, factory situation? Yes, it's a river of potions. Okay. What's so strange? Uh-huh. I can see where you're going with this, Mark. I don't understand what you're talking about. Wicked Wits Wanderium is a unique and

magical place. Would you be guiding us through it? No, you can go in and deal with the rats. I told you I hate the things. I couldn't bear to deal with them. I mean, it sounds good. I don't feel like I'm getting brought in. I like this bird, man. I'm quite curious to see how

this planar magic works. I want to see a potion river. Of course you are. It's you. I'm kind curious to see how this planar magic works. I want to see a potion, River. Of course you are. It's you. I'm kind of slightly terrified. Why, look at you. You're so strong and made of metal. What do you have to fear for some rats? No, there's more to this than I think you're leading on, and I don't like it. How could there possibly be something more to this?

I've told you absolutely everything. He looks so trustworthy. I'm so trustworthy. Look at my face. I believe him. When has a tiefling ever lied to somebody else, I tell you? Well, should we just go?

Should we start? Let's do it. I'll take you to the entrance and see you inside. Brilliant. Excellent. It's not like you can really say no. Why? We could. It would just be really boring for you guys. No, we're actually doing a live show.

We could see Mark try and pull something out of his bum for the next two hours if we just decided to stay here. You'll end up going to a factory full of potions. That's what's going to happen if you don't. This is a one-shot. I'm playing around with no sandbox game today. Alright, well let's do it. Excellent. He takes

you to the Glintstill district and to a very secluded nondescript street where there is just a single plaque in the wall which reads Wicked Wits Wanderium. He gestures to an open door, which seems to lead into a very plain-looking entrance hallway

and says, After you, my dears. Simply head inside, go straight through, through the double doors, meet the matron, she'll send you on your way to the theory and refinery, clear out the rats, no problem. Okay. I guess as I'm walking through with everyone else,

it's like, so you're not going to close the door on us are you? As you step through the door does indeed close behind you and then vanishes behind you Oh I just don't like people This is part of the magical tour the Wanderium

It's all part of it, it's so exciting You've been here before? No he's not, he said he hasn't He has no, there was no idea with golden tickets that were put into our sweeties. Yeah all around gustave And I never got one. I got daddy to buy loads Lucius is definitely that kid isn't it? Okay, so do you know the way out once we kill the rats I don't know any more than this So do you know the way out once we kill the rats? I don't know any more than this.

Brilliant. But I assume the door will just magically come back into life as soon as we've destroyed, like, three or four Ratties. Right, well, that's a really great assumption, yeah. Let's get on with it, then. What can we see? So you are currently stood in a very small entrance hallway with a set of double doors in front of you. Long polished brass bar across the door

and just in beautiful, colourful writing, Wicked Wits Wanderium. Great. Step through. I mean, who's leading? Who's going to be first through the doors? Lucius strides up, makes his way through. I skip through.

Yeah, perfect. And in fact, as you throw open the double doors, Lucius, this kind of wonderful Candyland music begins to play, just filling the air with these whimsical musical notes. You see a long hallway stretching out with polished stone floors, but every ten feet or so there are these big, thick glass tubes that connect floor to ceiling, full of colourful liquid flowing to and fro.

Everything is drinkable here. And as you see further into the room, you can see that there are these small little barrel-shaped robots kind of just driving around the place with little barrel-like chests and bodies and then

little faces on top of them with little arms and legs. And they just seem to be driving around in circles. And standing atop a small stage at the far end of the room in front of a pair of double doors, you see, I believe, six halflings all wearing purple suits. And their hair is wild and stretches out in these outrageous shapes and sizes. And they just seem to be standing there, staring, waiting. Oh, they're not? Okay. Mark, is Smeek with us? I forgot to mention Smeek.

Well mentioned, Katie! Alongside the party, all the characters that we've introduced, who has been uncharacteristically quiet up until now, is a small goblin. The goblin is green-skinned, he wears very nice leather armour, and he has a halberd that is far too large for him, and he has wild hair, and he kind a halberd that is far too large for him, and he has wild hair, and he kind of looks up and has been in mesmerized wonder up until this point,

until Aayla looks for him and sees him. Yay. Why, what does he do now? Smeek, keep up, keep up. You're welcome. Smeek begins pointing towards the halflings and waving his halberd around no

I mean it would be hilarious but no how long do we have by the way for this live show can we carry on I don't want to spend the entire thing talking to Smeek I don't want to spend Sunday you're the one extendingmeek. I don't want to spend Sundays talking to Smeek. You're the one extending it now. We were ready to move on to the next scene. Move on.

Move on. Will want to just move in deeper into the room? I mean, so there's six halflings. On a stage. On a little stage, yeah, in the middle of the room. I mean... Can I just, like, wave hello at them? Hello!

Yeah, so Senshi kind of steps in and waves hello. And then they begin to sing. Do they? They begin bobbing up and down. Yeah. And they start singing. Have you got the... Oh my God. Finkle, dinkle, ready set pop.

We have been ordered to make you all stop. Fungle, grungle, don't ask us why. All we know is now you must die. What? What was that last line? Oh, my God. These creatures are called Finkle Dinkles. Finkle Dinkles.

Okay. All right. And then let's do... I'm trying to very quickly write this down so I can track it. Her. Her. And then Smeek. I'll roll for Smeek.

He could die. He can't. Good boy. Quill, initiative. 13. 13. Ayla. 10. 10. Nova. 10. Sorry, initiative. 13. 13. Ayla. 10.

10. Nova. 10, sorry, 10. 8. 8. Sentry. 19. 19.

Lucius. 18. 18. Well, as these creatures begin bobbing up and down, they pull out wicked-looking scepters, like heavy sticks, and they just begin bouncing up and down and look like they're about to engage in violence. Are they dancing towards us while they're trying to kill us?

Yes, they're, like, bouncing, bobbing up and down. This is very important information. They continue just repeating the same song, which I'm not going to repeat. Century. Hello. Hello. There you go.

Hello. I have a microphone. You've got to remember those microphones. I know. You're not used to it. I'd like to ready an action, so I'm going to position myself near Lucius and Nova, and if they come at me, I'm going to strike them. Okay.

So if they rush towards you, you're going to strike them. Okay. Cool. Lucius. My back is to them. Okay. I'm knelt down, trying to drink from the potion, Lucius. My back is to them. Okay. I'm knelt down, trying to drink from the potion,

but I've heard the song before, so I'm like... Okay. Just drinking. So the potions are in these thick, heavy glass tubes that connect floor to ceiling. I think the whole thing is edible, so... So you're just, like, sucking on a glass tube. Yes. Okay.

So most of you look over to see Lucius, just his mouth clasped around the glass tube. Bobbing. Okay, bobbing along with the song. I know the song. Okay. And that's Lucius' turn. It's my turn.

Excellent. I love it. I want it in my head. First draw every time. I just started thinking about what that looked like, and then it just... Just like... Static.

Bobbing. Yeah, bobbing up and down. Smeeks go. Yeah, down. Smeeks go. Yeah, good. Smeeks go. Yeah. Smeek will run forward. Yeah?

Yeah. He will charge towards the nearest thing. And he will attempt to attack it with his halberd. This I like. First things first. He seems to waver for a moment as one of these creatures. And these halflings have got like rosy cheeks, and they've got these cute little outfits with flowers painted on them,

and he hesitates for a moment. And then he just swings. Smeek will hit. And he skewers one of these creatures on the end of his halberd and just lifts him up into the air. What? And begins waving him around. Aayla's just pointing at him and laughing.

And he starts just dancing up and down with the song. The other Finkledinkles do not stop singing or bobbing. And I believe, after Smeek, we we go to Mr Quillick Adkalar. Okay. I'm terrified of Smeek now. That's barbaric. He looks directly at you, Quill. Quill!

Awkward thumbs up. Could I cast Bane all of these boys how many are there there are five now one is dead are they called Finkledinkles sorry I forgot

Finkledinkles I'm trying to figure out how many Bane casts three I'll just cast Bane on three of them. Okay. Any three. And then I'll get to the back of the party and not get attacked.

All of them fail. Oh, cool. So what does it look like? How do you Bane? Bane, obviously just spectral feathers every time. It's now like clouding their vision, like fluttering in their eyes. Like when you stand up too quickly. Okay. And now they're kind of

like... Doesn't stop them singing or bobbing, but definitely affected them in some way. Nice. Ayla. Hello. Hello. I would like to rage.

Rage! Lightning begins crackling up and down. And I'm just going to run at them and hit them. Okay. Recklessly. First thing, before you attack one, I need you to make a charisma saving throw. Ah, boring. Ooh.

18. I mean, this kind of suits Ayla, but you are almost momentarily paused by how adorable these things are. But then you don't give a damn and you smush one skull in. What? Oh. I mean, roll damage. Roll to see if you hit.

Yeah, roll to see if you hit. Oh, God. That wasn't very good. Um, uh, 16? 16 definitely hits these tiny halflings with no armor. Oh. I'm trying to figure out what they can do to us. 15 damage.

Actually, no. That wasn't with lightning damage, though. They need to make a save. Well, the first thing is... Nope, nope, I removed that ability. So, yeah, he dies. Okay. Bam, two damage.

But they do succeed on the lightning damage save. Two. So one of them kind of swing the hammer down and it just flattens one of these halflings. Just smushes it into a paste in the ground. And then the lightning arcs and zaps one. Kind of goes up and down his body.

And he just stares at you. Finkle. Finkle. Ready, set, hop. Well that one I'll hit because that's even higher. You need to make another charisma saving throw for me. 23. Oh, God. That be my charisma saving throw? No.

No. Oh, no. That's a six. See, you squash the first one, and then the other one looks at you with the saddest eyes. And you just feel your body freeze and you cannot target that creature with an attack.

I hate you so much! Nova. I'm so confused. And slightly weirded out. Nova's just going to hold her action. So if one of them attack... Who is she nearest?

Well, Aayla and Smeak are now next to them. Okay. I guess if they come towards Nova and start attacking Nova, she's going to attack and green flame blade. Green flame blade? Green flame blade. Okay, so if they come near Nova... If they come near me and start...

If they attack me. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool story, bro. Cool story. So that's two held actions. Why are you flipping pages there?

I'm just... I'm looking up some stuff. Don't worry. Kill them all. DM's favorite thing. So after Nova, the Finkle Dinkles go. So I believe that only four of them remain. One of them will look at Ayla, wave his stick around for a moment, and I need Ayla to make a wisdom saving throw.

Uh-oh. 18. Oh, you feel a wave of confusion wash over you, but takes no effect. One of them targets Smeek with a wisdom saving throw. Oh, no. That's a 10. Smeek just starts looking around, confused and dazed, swinging his halberd around.

Oh! Da-da-da-da-da. He just stands there and watches them and starts bobbing up and down with these finkle-dinkles. He's not singing along, is he? What's that? He's singing along? Yeah, he's trying to, but it's like...

Da-da-ba-ba-la-la-la-la-la. Why'd I ask? Dumb. The other two, who are on the furthest kind of point of the stage, not within range of melee attacks, begin making their way, kind of skipping up and down, towards the other three. But they don't go towards you to make attacks.

They go up to the glass tubes full of potions, get their big, heavy baseball bat-like sticks, just grin, and then smash the glass that sends this liquid just cascading down. I would like the three of you to roll a d20

each. Is this the one that Lucius is sucking on right now? Yes, so they smash one of the ones Lucius is sucking on. I didn't want to hear that. I got my plus two on saves. Nope, no saving throws. Just a d20. D20?

17. 17. Eight. Eight. Six. Uh-oh. 17. You find, Sentry, your body speeds up to an alarmingly quick rate.

You can take an action immediately if you wish. Oh, okay. I would like to then run up to one of the little dudes and give him a little smacky smack. Okay, yeah, go for it. Yeah. Do you feel your body like speed up almost as if you've drunk too much caffeine

and you just drive forward? All right. 10, 17. Yep, that will hit. Yay, and then D8 plus 4. Do I even have any D8s knocking out? I do. Wow. 7, seventeen. Yep, that will hit. And then d8 plus four. Do I even have any d8s knocking out? I do. Seven, eleven.

That kills him. You cut the small halfling in half. He looks up at you with these big, doe-sad eyes as the axe just splits him clean down the face in the middle. Whoa. Oh, excellent. Sorry. Then after the blow kind of lands,

you feel that energy kind of run out, and now you feel very slow. Oh, no. And you are under the effects of a slow spell. I'm slow-mo-centric. Lucius, you cry uncontrollably. That's just in character. What does the potion do?

That's it. You can still take normal turns. You're just crying uncontrollably. That's not the song lyrics. Roll a d6 for me. This will determine how long it lasts. One. Ten minutes. What? Ten minutes. Crying.

What did you roll, Kim? A six. A six. Okay. So as it washes over your body, any metallic objects, such as your armor and Tiangong increase their weight by a factor of 100 you are restrained until the end of your turn Nova just falls completely flat on her face

as the weight of her armor and weapon just drag her to the ground yep after the Finkledinkles perform their actions one of the little keg robots begins spiraling out of control. Two of them, in fact. One of them begins, basically, his eyes go flashing red and he begins barreling his way over towards you. Keg butt! Give keg butt love! And it begins wheeling its way over to, probably towards the three of you.

What? One of them, however, just kind of spins around and is like, Cakepot want friends. Please bring Cakepot friends. The Cakepot will basically trundle over towards the three of you and then will basically spray you with beer. Can everyone make a constitution saving throw?

What is happening? Is mine at disadvantage from crying uncontrollably? Yeah. Why did I say that? Nat 20. Nat 20. Nat 20 on Century. So what is this constant?

Three. Six. So Nova, who is currently on the floor, you're sprayed with beer that begins and you have to kind of like suck it up to avoid it, like plug in your nose and stuff. Like, you know, otherwise you're going to drown in beer. But I don't breathe underwater though, so. Oh, that's true, you can breathe.

You just kind of soak yourself in beer. But can you breathe under beer? Yeah, I think so. Lucius, when you're crying, like the beer just goes in your mouth and in your eyes. But it's so potent you are immediately poisoned as if under the poison condition. This is going well. This is how I imagined it.

Sentry, it's your game. Oh, hello. Let me see. So there's two left. So you have two of them have just smashed these potion things. There's three left because you killed one. There's also this little keg bot who is now trundling around and spraying stuff everywhere. Okay, can I try and maybe slow-mo run over to where the fountain of potion is coming out

and try and use my body to stop it? Okay, so you just plug your body up against it. Yeah, plug myself in. Yeah, it doesn't take long. You plug it up to prevent the rest of the potion spilling out, and then whatever was feeding it just begins to run out, and it turns to drips and jams, but you stop more spraying over the rest of the team.

Roll a d20 for me. Boop-boop! Fifteen. Fifteen. Okay, for the next minute, the character regenerates three hit points at the start of each turn. So you feel yourself being like pummeled with healing energy. Feeling buzzed.

It's feeling good. It's slow motion, so I'm like... Lucius. I'm crying. And drunk. I'm drunk. You're drunk crying. What are you crying about? Everything. It's all coming out. And drunk. I'm drunk. You're drunk crying. What are you crying about?

Everything. It's all coming out. Go ahead. Johnny! Oh, no. Wick. Wit? Wit.

Wit! Et cetera. Okay, yeah. Thanks. Great role playing, Chris. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, perfect.

So you're just going to spend your time crying? Yes. I mean, I have to, right? You don't have to, no. It's just you can do other things whilst crying. Oh. I've made a pot noodle whilst crying before. I feel like...

I can't say into my life, but it's... Wow. He's gone. This is true. Once again. I love it when I really get Chris Trott. Where did that come from? I feel like one shot is where you see the really freaking weird side of Mark.

This always happens. I've had a really long weekend and it's really hot on this stage. Sneak does nothing. Damn it, sneak. Quill. I would like to cast magic missile at second level Okay So I cast four bolts

Pew pew There's two left right Three left Oh I mathed this bad It was a calculated risk but boy am I bad at math Hey Three plus two that's five Right Three five How many are there Boy, am I bad at math. Hey, three plus two, that's five. Right.

Three, five, how many are there? Three. Three. Five by three is not enough. No. Five does not divide by three, Tom, no. I didn't think my plan through. My plan was basically just to shoot them all twice.

I'll shoot two of them twice, one of them once. There you go. So it's 1D4 plus one per missile. Magic Michael. Bam. Two. Okay. Four.

Two again. This is bad. Four again. What's happening? And two. Okay. So you watch as these little finkel dinkles are pummeled, and they kind of spread to the ground

and then they kind of just awkwardly rise up. Finkle Dinkles. Oh, that's crazy. And they just continue the song. That's not good. They are injured, however. Okay, good. I think maybe we have to bash their brains. Aayla. Like zombos.

Do I have to make a save because I'm in front of it? If you want to attack it, you do, yeah. Damn it. Six. That's the first attack. No, you can't resist to harm this adorable creature. I'm so mad right now. It's fine.

You have a second attack? I will do... You have a second attack? Oh, I didn't realize I got one for each. That's an eight. No. No. Old charismatic Aayla at work. I don't like I got one for each. That's an eight. Nope. Old charismatic Ayla at work.

I don't like people. Nope. And these Finkle Dinkles. You just love them. They're the worst kind. You just love them. You love them. They're so cute.

They're adorable. Nova. So what can I do? Is my armor still heavy? So it's at the end of your next turn. So you are basically, you can still act your restraints. You can't move. You automatically fail strength the end of your next turn. So you are basically, you can still act, you're restrained. So you can't move.

You automatically fail strength and dexterity saving throws. But you can like, you have like a hand outstretched, like cast spells if you want. Yeah, I'm going to Eldritch Blast. You're going to Eldritch Blast one of them? I'm just going to like turn my head and just point. Yep, go for it. Chris, are you still laughing about the pot noodle?

He's gone again. I'm trying to demonstrate that you can multitask whilst crying. He's gone. He's gone. Don't, you're going to set Rhiannon off and then she'll cry. She's going. She's almost gone. Goodbye. What is the 21? Why pot noodle? to set Rhiannon off and then she'll cry. She's going. She's almost gone. Goodbye. Goodbye.

What is a 21? Why a pot noodle? You never heard about crying whilst making a pot noodle? No. A sad, lonely pot noodle? No. No? Don't tell me anymore. Dark days.

I eat proper noodles. What is a 21? What? One is my attack. Yep. 21. 21 hits. One beam.

And the other one is an 11. Misses. No, hits. Oh. These things are just tiny men in little suits. Six and a five. Dead. Obliterated. You just try another one of the Finkle Dinkles.

Reducing him to a smoldering ash of purple goo. An ash of goo. An ash of goo. Gooey ash. Gooey ash. Seeing you just destroy one of your friends, Nova, make a wisdom saving throw. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Damn it. You feel this desire to start laughing kind of swell up in your chest,

but then you realize the gravity of the situation as you pull yourself up off the floor, your armor no longer heavy, and you resist the offense. Very sticky, though. Sentry, make a wisdom saving throw. Oh, good job, dear. Last two left.

Do I get my plus two? You do. I've forgotten how to do maths. 14. Damn it. You resist the creature's influencing effects as it tries to confuse your mind. Cannot confuse my mind. The keg bot, however, is not confused.

And seeing the three of you still stood together, it will spray you with hot oil. What? Can you all make dexterity saving throws, please? What? Oh, lovely oil. Yep, all three of you too. All three of you still stood together, it will spray you with hot oil. Can you all make dexterity saving throws, please? What? Oh, lovely oil. Yep, all three of you, too. All three of you guys. Oh, shit.

They do get plus two. Remind them they have plus two. Three. That's not going to help. Nova? Natural one. 14 again. 14.

You managed to kind of throw yourself out of the way. However, Nova and Lucius, you are covered in a hot oil. You take seven fire damage. And you are covered in oil that means you fall prone, basically. So greasy. You are super greasy. If you take any fire damage, it will reignite the oil. That'll hurt. Yep.

And he just kind of spins around and he's like, wee! And he just sprays oil everywhere. Cakebot loves you! No, that's not how people show love. Cakebot loves you! What's happening? He looks at you and you can hear a gizmo

whirring up to spray you again. Tom's holding his face again. It's like his I'm done face is already coming out. It's chaos. Welcome to OneShot. We have Century. I'm going to smack one of them again

with my axe. One of the little finkles. Make a charisma saving throw for me. I shall. That's 20... You do not care that this creature is adorable. It annoys you. It's annoying me. I want it gone. It's like... I'm going to use my double attack

as well. Oh, okay. So I can smack it twice. Cool. So, 17. It's 20... What's 17 plus 7? High enough. Nice. Okay. The official math for that is high enough And then d8 plus 4, that's a 10 for the first one And do I roll a d20 for the second one?

Sure Nice So that's 19 for the second You annihilate it Just with a cleave of the axe It just cleaves this finkeldinkle As it falls to the ground The potion machine behind you

just completely runs dry. You are no longer under any effect as it runs out. Lucius? Is the river of potions in this room? No, not in this room. Good. That's great.

What's near me at the moment? Is everything collected together in a five foot you have a broken I mean there is potion liquid on the ground if you wanted to scoop it up no no I don't want to do that but enemies around me so you have one finkle dinkle on another side of you

after it smashed open the glass tubing you also have the keg bot who is just kind of walking around spraying his loads everywhere. Crying my eyes out. Covered in beer and oil. Crying. Crying.

I'm going to cast Melf's Acid Arrow on the bot. On the keg bot? Yes. Okay. Keg bot looks at you as you begin to conjure it. Why do you hate keg bot? I don't. Wisdom saving throw?

No, not for a spell. Only for melee attacks. Nice. How? Did you throw it off the table? Oh, for God's sake. How does he do this? Sorry. It's on a mobile phone. Oh, for God's sake. How does he do this? Sorry, I'm...

It's on a mobile phone, so... 16 there, Mark. 16 hits? Good. Don't worry about rolling the damage. The keg bot itself, like, as you hit it, the acid pits away and begins eating into the barrel's component, and just oil and potion and beer begin leaking out of all these holes

from the pitted thing, and it kind of rolls up to you and begins writhing around on its own liquids that are spilling out of its body like, Why? Why? Kegbot only wanted to give you love! I cry even more uncontrollably. What was that? That's definitely a sound in the room. For sure. Nice.

And yeah, the keg bot just lies there, bleeding out from multiple acid wounds. I'll fall to my knees and stroke its scrappy remains, saying, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Keg bot will always love you.

Please. What is happening? Are we the bad guys? Speak. Stanton does nothing. Cool. Quill. A finkel dinkle remains. He turns to you.

Finkel dinkle. What's the surface of this place? The floor. Marble floor. you. Finkle. Dinkle. What's the surface of this place like? The floor? Marble floor. Like a polished marble floor. Is it like covered in just oil and post? Yeah. You guys kind of like moved away from the other group and so it's kind of like merged together

into a puddle beneath these three. Oh. I don't like them at all. I'm going to shoot him in his damn face. You're going to pull out the pistol? Just... Go for it. Disadvantages, you know. Oh, yeah.

Forgot about that. Seven plus. That's not good. I don't think I'm going to hit this thing. It's right in my face. Nine. Just misses. He's got an AC of ten. You pull the gun out and you point it at his face, and you technically need to make a saving throw anyway,

and he just looks at you, and you fire, and it just explodes next to his face, and it hits the ground beneath it. Oh, I can't hit windows. I can't hit halflings that are right in front of me. Finkle, tinkle. I'm throwing this away. Ayla.

He can have it. Save them. Save them, Ayla. Please. Well, I hope so. Christmas. Aayla. You can have it. Save them. Save them, Aayla. Well, I hope so. Charisma, save me through. Eleven. Passes. Excellent.

I'm going to hit it. Recklessly. 24. You wind up with a hammer. You connect with this tiny little purple suited halfling, sending him scoring across the ground into a bony jelly lump. Thank God.

Oh, so it's just bones, blood, beer, post. All mixed together. There is still one little keg bot who is just kind of trundling around, but he's not attacking you. Can I use my second? Oh, he's not attacking us. No.

Okay. He's just kind of wandering around. Where is my brother? Where is my brother? Should we put it out of his misery? I mean, they're just... It might just start attacking us anyway. The others have. Smeet kind of snaps out of it.

Meh! What's happened to this place? Why? My dreams! I've wanted to go to this place for so long! Am I still uncontrollably crying? Yeah, it's ten minutes. I'm just, like, slamming the floor, like, shouting,

Why?! No, why me? I would say that Lucius is taking this hard, but this isn't irregular. Yeah, exactly. It's quite normal. So, what? Why? So, is there double doors

at the other end of the room? There's a pair of double doors shaped like two conical flasks, kind of leaning against each other behind the stage. Maybe the rats are in there. Maybe. Let's just get the rats to get out. Maybe those were the rats. Maybe the rats are in there. Maybe. Let's just get the rats and get out. Maybe those were the rats. Maybe he doesn't know what rats are. Well, Kegbot

turns around and begins trundling over. Welcome! Welcome! Hello. Hello. Where's the river of potions? Riverboat Taur is this way! And he trundles around like a little claptrap and begins heading towards the comical

doors. Okay, maybe this one isn't bad. Cakebot will lead the way! Where is my brother? Where is my brother? He's having a sleep. Okay. Good.

Cool. Hello fellow construct. I am Kegbot. Hello, I'm Sentry. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Okay, okay. Hello. Okay, okay. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So, where are the... Where are the...

Where are the... Where are the rats, Keg, keg, bot. Rats? Rats. There have been numerous rodents sighted around the premises. Can you take us to them? A large number of rats are in the Ethereum refinery. It is this way.

Okay, I guess we'll follow this thing. Follow me! Okay, we need to go. Are we going on the boat? Sorry? Are we going on the boat? I don't think we want to... Rivetor is this way. No me! Okay, we need to go. Are we going on the boat? Sorry? Are we going on the boat? I don't think we want to... Rivetor is this way!

No, no, no, no, no. Get the rats. Get out of here. I don't want to get attacked by... You've already had a little swim and some potions. Can we go on the boat after, though? Maybe. Yes!

Don't promise things. You can't help something. No, I know, but we just... Get the rats. Why are you crying? At this point, Nova feels like a tug on her leg, and Lucius is just crawling up Nova. I'm still lying on the floor.

Like, I fell on the floor, and I'm greasy. Crawling up to Nova. You're not dead, too. You're kind of, like, slipping along each other as, like, covering grease. Why us? I got such a headache. Why are you crying? each other is like covering grease. Why us? I got such a headache. Why are you crying? I didn't drink but the fumes of that beer.

I killed your brother. My brother is sleeping. He's dead. Look at him. And I'm touching the scrappy remains with like poison and potion spilling out of it. Kegbot like spins on the circle like a little R2-D2. Brother is sleeping!

I'm going to try... She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. Anne's gone again. Hello. I'm going to feebly try and cast menting. You seal up the little broken parts of the keg bot's body

and it creates the illusion that he's all fine but there's just a pile of leaked liquids all over him. His eyes are flashing red. Yes. Sleeping. Sleeping. Follow red. Yes. Sleeping. Sleeping. Follow me. Okay.

Okay, follow, follow, follow, follow. I imagine we're just like slipping and sliding, trying to stand up. And you manage to like eventually write yourself. You can spend some time drying yourself off as well. Oh, I was going to say if we were pointed in the direction of a corridor, I could have just like flung you along the marble floor and seen how far you go. Can I do that? See how far she goes?

I'll make a strength check. I'll team up with Gus. I'll be sitting, so like a little cannonball. So you're doing a curling with Nova. So the curling. 20. And then you're going to Gus canter. I'll assist with Gus.

Yeah. Nova, you rocket at an alarming speed towards the double doors. Oh, no. And you can't slow down, and you begin sliding the whole way. You smash through the two conical doors, which open inwards, and you slide into what appears to be a sort of workshop where there are lots of potions being made and tested. You can see Bunsen burners and shelves full of ingredients.

And as you slide in, you collapse into one of these tables, causing a few things to shake and rock. And then a ghostly woman seems to kind of hover over you like, and then what do you think you are doing? What? What? What? You are late. I've been waiting for new technicians to come and make the potions, and it has been forever.

I'm not a technician. Of course you are. Why else would you be here? Come on, up, up. Here are some rats. Up, up. There are rats. There are no rodents in the Wits Emporium. They're in the Ephirium Lounge.

Don't be ridiculous. Anyway, I will not have this talk back from one of my staff. Come on, up. You need to make the potion. Okay, can I stand up and then fall over again? Yeah, you kind of stand up and she's like, oh, for goodness sake. And she levitates you off the ground and sort of like dries you with some sort of telekinetic power.

Thanks. One of your bots sprayed me with beer and oil. Oh, those gag bots have been ridiculous. So many of them are malfunctioning. I've told Wit to fix them. What about the... Ah, where are the rest of the technicians asked for? Guys? Help? Come on! Hurry! Hurry! How far away did she go? How far did she get? What's that?

How far did she go? Pretty far. Like 40 feet. Oh my god, okay, fine. Yeah, I guess we'll catch up. Okay. That is fun. That is... That is fun. Lucius, can I try again? I'm just sobbing. I'm going to do it anyway. Strength check.

I'm at Nova at this point. 14. You saw him. He doesn't go quite as far. He skids to a stop near the door's entrance. And then the keg bot bashes into your back. Oops. Sorry. That was really disappointing, actually. Nova's lighter, though.

Yeah. I could gust him back, so... Yeah. Yeah. I could gust him back if you want to try again. Smeak comes up to Aayla and is like, Me! Okay, sure, yeah. Me! Natural 20. Not even kidding. Oh, my God.

Not even kidding. Pour him back. Smeak is not greased up in any way, but the trail left by Nova and Lucius is enough. You throw Smeak like a bowling ball, and he rolls, kind of tumbling as he does, slams into Lucius, Kegbot, who then slide further

down into Nova, knocking the potion stand over to the three of you. I fall over again. You fall over again. Roll D20s each again. What? There are potions on the stand. Oh my god! Natural one! Okay. Uh- one. Okay.

Uh-oh. Okay. 19. 19. All right. So, Lucius, your skin turns to crystal. It becomes crystallized. You have resistance against piercing and slashing damage,

but you are vulnerable to bludgeoning damage. Roll a d6. Oh. Four. That lasts for four minutes. But a one was ten minutes. Yeah. It's almost like I'm the DM and I make the rules.

Nova, you rolled a natural one, yes? Can you roll two more d20s, please? No! Uh-oh. A 14 and a natural 20! Where were you? Oh, okay. Clap that.

He's going to do something real bad. That's great. Can you make two wisdom saving throws for me? Oh, my God. Wisdom saving. Yeah. Oh, God. A 10 and a 7. Okay.

You're polymorphed into a squirrel and you're confused. Roll a d10. A little blue squirrel. Yeah, a little blue squirrel. Six. Six. You make a melee attack against a randomly determined creature within its reach. Smeak or Lucius?

Let's find out. I'm there too. Smeak or Lucius? Let's find out. One, two, Smeek. Three, four, Lucius. Lucius, you're getting attacked by a tiny squirrel. I'm resistant.

Tiny squirrel never hits you. You take one point of damage. Is that halved? Oh, no. It would be halved to one, I guess. It's like nibbling on your little In fact, take no damage. You're made of crystal. The squirrel is just biting onto you. I'd like to say I'm sorry,

but I'm not. If I was playing Piri right now... Oh, this squirrel. That squirrel would get booted. Oh, yeah. If you look over at Smeek, Smeek has grown a pair of bunny ears and a bunny tail and is now jumping around. Excellent. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh, that almost got me, Mark. She can't handle it. You almost got me, Mark. You almost got me with the bunny tails. I can still speak. The ghostly woman, however, is like, for goodness sake, you have made a complete mess. You all of you, you'll need to get to work cleaning this up. But I think you might be confused. No, I don't think we work here. We just got here. No, don't be ridiculous.

You are here because you are technicians. No, no, we have golden tickets. I said you are technicians! Oh, my God! And you can see her visage change to this scary, kind of warped, old, ghostly woman for a brief second. Okay. We're technicians.

We're technicians. Are there any other technicians? Is there any other... Yeah, you look around and you can see that there are actually two little halflings like the Finkledinkles, though these aren't... They don't have blue suits on. They have orange suits. But they have been... They're dead. They've been dead

for some time. Covered in tiny rat bites. But they're just kind of sat in chairs with like flasks in their hands. Can I just put my hand up to the ghost lady? Yes, yes, my dear. There's some

guys. Oh, they are lazy. They've not been working for hours. No, I think that's because they're very dead. Yeah. No, no, they're just sleeping. Sleeping! A little No, I think that's because they're very dead. Yeah. No, no, they're just sleeping sleeping Yeah, let's find out what little squirrel Nova does you do nothing for the next Chasing my own tail running around and just occasionally bumping into things Yeah, everyone's just coming a little blue squirrel head, but your ankles every now and again

things. So everyone's just having a little blue squirrel headbutt your ankles every now and again. Don't hit me. Don't. I know what you're thinking. Don't step on me. Don't. I'll bite you. I'll bite you and I'll give you rabies. I was just going to

give you like a little tamp so that you could turn back into Nova. But okay, I won't do it. I mean, I'm living right now. This is my life now. Okay. Okay. That's fine. Yep. Well, look, I was going to have you mix some potions, but I can see that you are all

quite inept. Just clean up this mess, will you, and deal with this little rodent. We mixed a ton of potions back there. And in here, actually. There's potions all over the place. No, you've made a terrible mess, birdman. Okay. They're mixed.

With oil. And those things blood. They're unstable. All right. So wait. Wait, where are the rats? Can we see any rats around? Or any trails that might look like...

You see, for a brief second, you can see that there is a door that leads out of this room, but next to it, like, parts of the wooden wall have been gnawed away to create like a little rat hole. And you see for just a second, you see this rat with green glowing eyes and an

exposed brain, like an abnormally large exposed brain just stares at you and scuttles away. Okay. Technicians. We're technicians now. Yes, of course you are. Clean up this mess. We'll take care of it.

We'll all go over there and fix that. Wow, that looks bust. You've got a hole in the wall over there. I'm just going to fix it for you. Okay. You've got a hole in the wall over there. I'm just going to fix it for you. Okay. You just go over and start fixing the wall. She watches you curiously.

Can I see if I see any more rats? No, it's gone. No, it's gone? It's gone from where it was. And is the door next to it open? No, it's closed. It's closed. Can I hear anything from it?

So you go up to it and start listening? Yeah. I kind of hear like a bubbling liquid sound. Hmm. Can I open the door? So as you go to open the door, the ghost woman seems to hear, like sense it, and it's like I told you! You are

technicians! And she screeches. I need everybody to make a charisma saving throw. Uh-oh. Wisdom saving throw. Does that include me? Yes, technically. Oh. Everyone gets a plus two because of sentry. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. No good? No good? 17. 17? 11. A? 11. 11. A natural one.

Oh, that's not good. Oh, no. 20. 20? 20. 20, 21, 22. 22. So, Ayla, you kind of feel like this intense fear rise up in you

as this woman's screech echoes around. You're completely frightened of her. Okay, I didn't open the door. I didn't touch it. It wasn't me. I'm sorry. You just, like, freeze up, and you want to get away from her as quickly as possible.

Sentry, however, now this is interesting. You feel the matrix that gives you your sentience. Oh. The energy of that begins depleting as if aging rapidly. Oh. Oh. Oh. I'm just going to start panicking.

You just feel this energy beginning to ebb and flow away. Yeah. Unsure of what's happening. And you just feel your mind getting a bit sluggish and a bit worn down. Oh my, okay. It's a good job Quill didn't do that on this saving throw. How long did

Aarakocra live? Ten years. You're like three. Why? How much does it age? I mean, I have made it equivalent to the race, but... Okay, good. It's 1d4 times 10 years. But hasn't Century only got, like, two? Yeah, interesting.

Interesting! Oh, that's interesting, Mark, you're right. You just... You've got your mind, like, beginning to slow down. Um... Okay. Well, we won't touch the door. We won't touch the door.

Ayla, don't touch the door. I didn't touch the door. I'm not touching the door. But what's the matter with the door. We won't touch the door. Ayla, don't touch the door. I didn't touch the door. I'm not touching the door. But what's through the door? Just out of interest. It leads to the river access to the Ethereum refinery. Right. Right. Okay. But first you need to clear this all up. Okay. Okay. Sure. Yeah. I will do... I've got something for this, I'm sure.

I mean, it's clearing up some mess. You can just do it. No. You don't need a spell. Ven'm sure. I mean, it's clearing up some mess. You can just do it. No. You don't need a spell. Venial labor. Am I still crying? D&D. Spell slow. Crying has ended.

Okay, I'm still crystal. You are still just about. Nice. Am I still a squirrel? Yeah, that lasts until you get booted out of it, or an hour. Sweet. Is Squirrel Nova, like, has any intelligence? Like, can I look at the rat hole?

You have your own, you don't have your own intelligence. You have the squirrel's intelligence. I was just wondering what a squirrel's intelligence is. Its intelligence is like two. And right now you are still, in fact, the confusion effect would have ended by now. So you are just a squirrel. You think that there might be some food around?

Oh. Yeah. Yeah? Maybe some nuts or like some little bits of... These humans seem to have loads of it. Oh, my God. Yeah. Which one?

The angry one seems to probably have some like trail rations. She's angry, though. The crying one has loads of sugar on it somewhere, I'm sure. Ooh. Yeah. Somebody's got a drink out there as well. That can opening. I'll start cleaning up

very well. You just start putting it all away. At last, finally, somebody knows what they're doing. I was looking for prestidigitation. I don't have that. You were trying to fantasia your way out of this. Yeah, sure. Just get everything have that. Okay. You were trying to fantasia your way out of this. Just get everything else to clean it.

Well, I was going to have you mix some potions, but clearly you are too inept to do this, so just go on. Get out of here. Be on your way. Okay. All right. Bubbling through this door, but she doesn't want me to go through the door.

The Rivator, right? Rivator. Where's the bot? Is he still around? He's wheeling around, following you. Hey, Rivator! Rivator, this way! He crumbles towards the door.

This better lead us to the rats. Am I leaning on the little bot? You can lean on him. He's guiding you a little bit. Your body's fine because your body doesn't age, but it's like feeling something wrong in your core, in your soul,

as if years have just been stolen away from you. Crikey. Yikes. Big old yikes. But we don't know that. No, no. I guess she doesn't look any different, does she?

No, she doesn't look any different. You kind of probably see her take a moment, but then it's fine. Yeah, but Lucius is crying uncontrollably. There's a lot going on. Nova's a squirrel. There's a lot to take in right now. What is Squirrel Nova doing? I'm, like, tugging on Quill's cloak. There's a lot to take in right now. What is Squirrel Nova doing?

I'm, like, tugging on Quill's cloak. Like, just tugging on it. Like, just biting it. Right. I mean, can I... I don't have any... Food? It wants food. I think it wants food.

It wants food. Ooh. Can I throw some of my rations and sort of just hold it and then I'm just going to lead her. Does that work? In the direction that we're going? In the direction of, I guess, the riverboat tour. We're following the

spot. Mark, does this room have books in it? No, but yeah, there's a couple of books actually. There's like alchemy formulas and stuff like that. I'm going to be done with this, so I'm just going to take a book off the stack of tidying up I've done and just whack the squirrel. You just like smack the squirrel.

I know how polymorph works. I've seen it before. Yeah, sure. Stop it. Make an attack roll. Okay. I thought I was going to be the one to do it. Be gentle with me.

16. I think that would hit a squirrel. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. It hits a squirrel. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. It hits a squirrel. You'll take roll a d4 plus your strength. Ooh. Improvised book, I guess.

Three plus one, probably. Four. Four. That's enough to knock out of the form. I'd say take another two damage as it carries over to Nova. But you see Lucius just stop it, whack the squirrel and it just poofs into Nova mid-air.

Ow! I'm sorry. It's been a long day already. Why'd it have to be a book? Book! Is Smeak still... Does he still have rabbit ears? Yeah, he's still got bunny ears and things. He's bouncing up and down and around.

It's all good. I think we're going on the riverboat tour. We're going on the tour. I think. Why? I thought we needed to go to the Ethereum. We need to go to the Ethereum refinery, but you have to go via the river. Riverboat tour leads all over the Wunderium. Is the ghost still here?

Yeah, she's kind of like buzzing herself. She's actually gone up to the two bodies and is like, honestly, when will you two wake up? And her hand's just passing through them and she's pretending to slap them. Excuse me, miss? What is it now? Are you done being a squirrel?

Yeah, thanks for helping with that. Are you... Where's the Rotherium refinery? It's deeper into the factory. The riverboat will take you there. Okay. Remember, do not drink the water. It is not safe.

Why? Is it not safe? It's potions. Ooh. Okay, good. Do any of the potions splash onto the boat? No, as long as you do not get reckless or run around in the boat, I suppose.

Don't run around. Don't run around. Rock it from side to side. No hands and arms inside at all times. At all times. Let's go. Let's do it. I'm going to keep a firm hand on Smeak so that he doesn't do any of those things. He's bouncing up and down like...

I'm going to hold person on him. On Smeak? Yeah. He's not jumping into this river. Oh, you do care. He fails. No, I don't want him to turn into something rabid and attack me. My well-being. He locks up.

Yeah. Can I just pick him up? Pick up Tmeek by the collar and carry him. Kegbot wheels the way. This way! And he kind of trundles through the doors. And it leads onto the banks of a ridiculously bright-colored grass kind of cavern, with large mushrooms and all sorts of growths all

over the place. You see more of the glass tubes flowing through the windows and through the walls and ceiling, full of colored liquid, and all through the middle of it is this swirling river of rainbow-colored liquids all joining together that winds through in round corners, and there is a little kind of like steamboat, like a little paddle boat on the river itself. Smeek's completely still, right? This is magical to Lucius. Finally, he's in his element.

And he steps out. And I reach a hand back to Smeek, who's completely still. Yep. Come with me. And I'm going to continue the song just dragging his body back behind me. And we'll be... Oh, my God. A world of sweet imagination. I'm just going to drag his

still body around, showing him the mushrooms, the tubing. It's going to be a montage of that. Eventually, about halfway through, Smeet kind of is like, Lucy! Yes? You like the mushrooms?

Yeah! And he bounces up and down. And he starts bouncing like the mushrooms? Yeah! And he bounces up and down. I bounce. And he starts bouncing towards the river. Drink! I'm gonna just... Grab him. Yeah, you succeed.

He does not manage to get out of your grip. Smeek, no. Smeek, yes! Smeek, no. He's learning, he's learning. He's getting smarter every day. Kegbot trundles onto the boat and kind of docks himself into the boat. This way.

Kegbot can take you. Where do you wish to go? Ethereum. Ethereum refinery. Yes. Very good. Everybody inside. What?

Yeah, yeah. I see the boat, like the little doors begin closing. Oh, everyone inside. Good job! Here we go! And then you hear a little... As the little engine begins to turn and the little paddle wheels begin to turn

and the boat slowly begins to drift down the river. And this very faint, lovely music begins to play from some sort of hidden magical source as it just begins trundling through this winding river of beautiful scenes of little fairies and mushrooms and little frogs all on little toadstools. This is making me feel weird. Anybody else feel really weird?

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. The river keeps on going. So weird. It's always flowing. Something that rhymes with those about ten times in a row. I think that's the song, right? Pretty much. Yeah.

Smeek is looking over the side. I'm holding him. But he's just looking at it. Smeek, don't you dare. What are the rest of you doing? The boat just seems to be trundling at a very slow speed down this large rainbow river. I think Sentry's just kind of just slumped, just like...

Yeah. You see Sentry's just kind of just slumped, just like, ugh. Yeah, you see Sentry just kind of lean over her eyes, kind of half dimmed and glowed. Sentry, you're missing out. This is the best bit. I've heard so many stories about the riverboat journey through the tunnels. I wish I could look. I can't, Lucius. I can't look at it. But you must. You're missing out. When are we ever going to come back to the Wunderium again?

She's gone. She's gone. We won't. It's probably not canon, right? At this point, no. I'm sorry, Lucius. Look up! I can't.

You can see, like, just so weak and drained. Century? I'm sorry, Lucas. Look up! I can't. You can see, like, just so weak and drained. Century? I'm so weak. What's wrong with you? Was it the potions? I don't know. I think it was the lady. I don't know.

The ghost lady? Yeah. What did she do? Did she scare you? Are you scared? I just... I've got nothing left. I can't. What? I can't keep going. Something's wrong with century. So as you're having this conversation, Quill,

you notice at first, but the rest of you kind of quickly notice. You begin to see the occasional like little skittering creature on the banks of the river. And you see one of these rats with the green glowing eyes and the exposed brain. And then there's another one. And then another one on the other side. And another and another and another. Until eventually there are just these lines, these rows of these green-eyed rats. Oh, I think we have a bigger problem. Yeah, that's a few more than I thought.

You hear in your mind. What? We are the skittering mind. What? You have entered our domain now. What? We are the Skittering Mind. What? You have entered our domain now. What? Welcome. You will be our newest thralls.

I would like each of you to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh. Wisdom. We'll be their newest what? Thralls. Thralls. Oh, cool. I've always wanted to be a thrall.

Oh, and it looks like I will be. Yeah, I will be too. Plus twos. You get plus two? Doesn't matter. So, Ayla? Five. Five.

Like zero. Zero. It's not zero, but it's bad. Nice. Seventeen. Seventeen. Eleven. Eleven.

Twenty-three. Twenty-three. Twenty-three. So, Nova and Sentry, you guys managed to retain your minds, and you are still in control of the body. The rest of you are dominated by the sentry mind. And you are told to kill each other. So would you like to roll initiative?

Each other? Yes. Okay, so not like specifically the ones that saved. No. Everyone. Yes. Cool. Us not like specifically the ones that saved. No. Everyone. Yes. Cool. Us two.

I'm dead. Well, I'm guessing you'll want to defend yourselves in some way. So we have Ayla. We have Quill. We have Sentry. We have Lucius. I don't like this. We have Nova.

We're going to ice. And we have Smeak. Oh, I need to roll for Smeak. Smeak got a 19 minus 1 for 18. Smeek actually is fine. Oh. So what did we get? Wait a minute.

No. No. No. Kill each other. Ayla, what initiative did you get? Seven. Seven? Yeah. you get? Seven. Seven?

Yeah. Quill? Oh, I got a 12. A 12. Century? 15. 15. Lucius?

17. 17. Nova? 19. 19. Nova, you are first to go. You watch as the eyes of Lucius, Aayla and Quill go green. Their eyes just kind of turn a bright glowing green and they kind of begin to raise weapons or prepare spells

and face in towards the boat. Okay. Can I cast Dispel Magic? You can try, yeah. I believe it can be an effect, so you'd have to choose the person that you want to dispel it on, I think. I'm going to go for Ayla. No.

What? That's probably a smart idea. I don't want Ayla to smash my face. Yeah, it's probably smart. Choose one creature, object, or magical effect. It's an individual magic effect for each person. So you're going to try and dispel it on Ayla? Yes, please. Right, you're going to try and dispel it on Ayla? Yes, please.

Right, you're going to need to roll a d20 plus your charisma modifier. Plus my charisma modifier. Oh, that's a plus four. Eleven. Eleven is not enough to dispel this effect. You can see the rows of the skittering mines kind of extend, but it's not limitless. You're not sure how, you know, if they have to stay within range for this effect, but the boat is just slowly progressing through the river. So you cast the spell magic.

You are on a small, about 10 foot by 15 foot boat. There is not many places to go unless you want to jump in the river potion. I'm going to wait for... If someone swings at me with a hammer, I might jump. Can I ready that? Well, you've already cast an action.

No, I can't do anything then. All right. Lucius, you are dominated. Kill each other. Welcome to our domain. Look at our beautiful pattern. Hypnotic pattern. Level three. It'sic pattern. Level three.

It's going to fuck you up. Tell us, Lucius. 30 foot cube within range. The pattern appears for a moment and vanishes. Each creature in the air who sees the pattern must make a wisdom saving throw. Everyone. Everyone. I just rolled for Smeak.

Smeak rolled a 19. Natural 20. 17. 14. What's your spell save on? 14. 18. So everyone passes. What about any rats

did you like it they're not there on the far banks nice pattern right sentry what does it do I have no idea what that does I want to like stand in front of like Quill

and try and make like a barrier can I cast shield of faith on Quill give him plus make a barrier. Can I cast Shield of Faith on Quill, give him plus two to his AC? Sure. Lovely. Nice. And then just raise my shield and try and defend. Okay, so you're going to ready if anybody comes off the

Quill. If anyone comes, bash mash. Okay, I love it. Quill. So I'm... One of them is presenting their back to you. Yeah, they are So looking around, you currently have One of your enemies is their backs towards you The big angry one is next to you

The small goblin is at the side of the boat Looking confused Do not One's just cast a spell And the other one has also cast a spell So there's five people, I guess including Kegbot Six people including Kegbot Kegbot is docked into the boat.

He can't read the text right now. Could I roll a d6 to see who I blast with this high-level guiding bolt? Yeah. Should we determine numbers? One, sneak two, three, four, five. Sneak six.

Sure. Nice. Oh, please, five. Sneak six. Sure. Nice. Oh, please, please. Five. Damn it. One, two, three, four. This is Sentry. So catching Sentry with a lightning bolt, by the way, you're going to hit people beyond Sentry as well.

No, this is super high guiding bolt. Oh, guiding bolt. I thought you said lightning bolt. Yeah, guiding bolt. So you blast Sentry in the back. You have advantage. Oh. Oh, Guiding Bolt. I thought you said Lightning Bolt. Yeah, Guiding Bolt. So you blast Century in the back. You have advantage. Oh. Oh, well, no.

Oh, Century, I'm so sorry. 17? I don't think that hits. What? 20 AC. 20? Yeah. She's a tank.

So this energy just blasts across Century's back. Try and kill me. And just explodes around her. I'll get you next time. Skitter, skitter, skitter, skitter. Try it. Ayla. Skitter.

Sorry, no. Smeek. Smeek just looks confused. He's like, Quill. You're next. And he kind of just like, he just like kicks your shin. Like, why did you do that? Like, nah.

He kicked me, did he? Yeah. He's next. He's just like, nah. Ayla. Are we all, is this what we're doing? Are we trying high level? Are we trying this?

Yeah. You've been told to kill. Okay, okay, okay. So I'm going to rage. Yeah? I'd be disappointed if you didn't. am I in a line of people? Yeah, I'd say that you're in a good line of people Yeah, can I the only person you couldn't get in the line is quill because he's like next to you Can I not get sneak in the line? Yeah, you can get sneak in the line. No, I don't want to get some shit

I do don't I? Yeah So actually, if you want to get the most people in a line... Can I get Quill in? You would basically go behind Quill, get Quill, Smeek, Sentry, and Lucius would be the line. Wow. What about Nova? I think the boat is you'd have to stand next to one side, and the others are all on the other side. Well...

Well, actually, no. Let's say you can just hit everyone. Why not? Thanks, Kim. Just imagine we're all bad Let's say you can just hit everyone. Why not? Thanks, Kim. Just imagine we're all bad guys. What would you do? Would you do that? The thing is,

is that she is dominated, so... Yeah. Would you hit me again? It's not canon. It's fine. It's fine. So I'm going to throw the Howling Tempest in a line

so it transforms into a maelstrom of lightning. So the person at the end would be Nova. So you're going to make an attack against Nova, but everybody else on the line makes a dex saving throw. Yeah, so everyone needs to make a dex saving throw, please. Sneak rolls a two.

Does he get plus two? You mean that's a four? Yeah, something. Do we get stuff because of Sentry being here? Sentry's not... So it depends on if Sentry considers you an ally right now. Are you treating everybody still as an ally? So everybody still gets a plus two. Okay.

So I got plus seven. Eighteen. Eighteen. Dex save? Twenty-two. Twenty-two. Thirteen. Thirteen.

What's the DC? Just thirteen. So everybody passes. 13. Just 13. Everybody passes, they take half damage. Except for me, who's taking it all. So that's half of 18 lightning damage, so he doesn't die. He's got 7 hit points. Yeah, 7 double 14.

Shit, wait. So everyone takes nine lightning damage except Smeek. Yeah. Oh, shit, sorry. You throw the lightning hammer. It transforms into a bolt of lightning. Quill, you're kind of like struck by lightning,

but you have enough to see this little goblin look up. He sees the lightning, drops the halberd, and just does this. Ha, ha, ha, haberd and just does this. The lightning bolt travels through everybody else. Make a ranged attack. Make a melee attack against Nova.

24 to hit. Yeah, that's going to hit. Now do hammer damage. Ten. Ten points of damage? Ten. That's all right. But does she also take the lightning damage?

Yes, she'll take the nine. Yeah, I've already taken it. Yeah, she'll take the nine. We'll just have her save for the same thing. And then my hammer flies back to me, Thor style. Yeah. Fair. Because it's cool. I mean, I'd say it's cool, but you just hate it.

I hate you. There's probably about another, like... You didn't expect Ayla to do it, did you? Another round before you're out of range of these rats mind-controlling your friends. I love it. Like, you didn't get to hear that because you didn't have a mic. But the round is just, oh, shit. I'm going to try Dispel Magic again.

Okay. Who do you want to target? Ayla? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. So what do I need to do again? D20 plus your charisma mod. You've got to beat the level of the spell. Do I? Okay. Fifteen. Still not enough.

What? Dominate monster is an eighth level spell. The DC is ten plus the spell's level. Oh my god. Yeah? Wow. Wow. I think that's it.

Lucius. Kill. Yes. Kill. Let's make it colder. Snilox snowball swarm. Let's do it. At the highest level.

Oh. A flower of magic snowballs erupts. Each creature in a five foot radius from the center. The range is 90 foot. Let's say on this small boat you can hit everybody. Yeah. Deck saving throw, everybody. I don't need to roll the sneak anymore.

Oh, I know. Natural 20. Natural 20. 19. Our luck has returned. Our luck has returned. We got a... I don I know. Natural 20. Natural 20. 19. Our luck has returned. Our luck has returned. We've got a... I don't know.

I don't care. Just hit me with it. I don't care. Okay. What? I'm so happy. Cedric? Sorry.

I definitely passed. 16. 16. It's not canon. Quill is the only one taking full damage. Willingly. Yeah. Just watch him sneak die. I don't think Quill is the only one taking full damage. Willingly. Yeah. Just watch him sneak die.

I don't think Quill's been possessed. I feel like he's just become me. 13 points of cold damage there, Tom. So half to everyone else. So six. Six. Six cold damage to everyone else. Sentry.

I guess because Lucius... No. I don't want to smack Lucius, but I kind of do. Because he's the only one hitting people right now. Push him in the river. I could push him in the river. That's a really good idea. Can I push him up with some potion juice?

Actually, no. I don't want to do that. No. It's so tempting, Mark. Let the hate flow through you. I think I'm just going to stay protecting Quill. And just be like, okay, if I don't touch anyone, everything will be fine, right? If I'm just...

Continue protecting him. Continue protection, everything will be fine, right? Okay. Right? Quill. So around everyone, and it definitely will be everyone, little teeny birds start flying around and just start carving into things

within a massive radius of whatever. It's Spirit Guardians. Yep. The highest level I can put... Oh, it's the highest level already. Spirit Guardians. I'm doing that. How close are they?

I don't know. I'm so happy. Oh, it's only 15 feet from me. That's still going to hit everyone on this tiny boat. Good. It is... There's a lot of words. I can designate any number of creatures, everyone.

Halved in the area is speed, and everyone makes a wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw. Seven. Okay. Eat and sweet team over here. Nine.

Okay. Eleven. Also seven. So everyone fails. Nice. What about Sneak's body? Currently on the boat. Yeah? Yeah, sure. Nice. What about Sneak's body? Currently on the boat. Yeah?

Yeah, sure. Nice. Ooh! 14. And another 6. So 20 damage. 20 damage to everybody. What kind of damage is it?

I'm down. Radiant. Yeah. So no halfing for you. Frick! Lucius falls unconscious. Whoa! And before we finish this lovely mess up,

Aayla, mind-controlled Aayla, one more turn. Oh, okay. Who would she go for? Well, the Birdman just hit you for a lot of damage. Yeah. The Guardian doesn't seem to be doing too much. Yeah, the Birdman's going to get it. I'm sorry.

The Ganassi keeps casting spells on you, but they don't do anything. The elf is, however, on the ground. The what? The elf. He's unconscious on the ground. He's not a threat. Birdman, loot him! I mean... Tron's looking at me like,

don't you fucking encourage this? Don't you fucking encourage death saving throws? I mean, the command was kill everyone. See, I don't even need to do it. Tom will do the worm tonguing. Are you picking the bird? He's next to death. You just did most damage to me.

There you go. Kill the bird. All right. Recklessly. Yeah. Do it. That's going to hit you. Is it?

Yeah, because I rolled a 16 and your AC is 16 18 at the moment from shield can I do my protection reaction? I've just got protection as well 24 to hit so hang on so Katie before you do so you're gonna use protection so roll it just as a straight attack roll

because it will cancel out your advantage protection will give disadvantage but you do have two attacks. So it doesn't... Yes, so my second attack... Second attack, you can't use your reaction. So second attack would be normal with advantage. Maybe he's all right.

Yeah. 17! Damn it! 18 was true faith. So you kind of swing, but the Guardian puts a shield on you. Oh, no, no, but Dexterity's saving throw. Oh, on Lightning? Yeah.

Your favorite. Dexterity, 18. One damage? No. Wow. I rolled a five, so... Two. Two?

Two. So you swing the hammer, it bounces off the Guardian's shield, you swing again, some sort of invisible barrier, but the lightning sparks out, just strikes Quill. And that happens just as the boat rounds a corner, and you just watch as these dozens and dozens of green eyes just watch you go. And you hear in your mind, do not think that you have escaped.

You have only faced the skittering mind's weakest parts. The skittering mind's weakest parts. The skittering mind will control all. And the boat rounds the corner and you feel the mind control fade from your mind. Okay. Lucius, make a death saving throw.

Can I? Well... Let's see who goes initiative. It would be Lucius before you. Okay. No, you go first, actually. Sorry, Nova's 19. Can I cast Spare the Dying on him? You. It would be Lucius before you. Okay. No, you go first, actually. Sorry, Nova's 19. Can I cast Spare the Dying on him? You Spare the Dying on Lucius. Stopping him from dying.

The boat just trundles along. Are we out of initiative now? Spare the Dying on Speak! Is he dead? He's on the boat! Okay, yeah, yeah. I'll put my hand on his face, Spare the Dying. What?

Nothing happens. Put my hand on his face, spare the dying. Nothing happens. No! Don't do this to me! Stay with me! Is it supposed to bring... Stay with me!

Wait. His body is smouldering. But he has a big smile on his face. So do I. Dammit, man! You pick him up, shake him around. Dammit, man! He had so much to give!

His little halberd, his halberd that was too big for him in the boat. Aww. Oh well. He gone cold. Got it. We tried it. Tom is still grinning from ear to ear

yeah but it's not canon so it's fine why because otherwise Sentry is in real trouble so what next Sunday he'll be back yeah you didn't think it was going to be that easy everyone loves him goblin Goblin, Goblin.

Go, Sneaky, go! Okay. The boat comes to a stop outside a large pair of double doors that read Ethereum Refinery. Are you going to cast Cure Wounds on Sneak? No, God no. No, Cure Wounds on Lucius. Cure Wounds on Lucius?

So it's 3d8 plus 4. You got any more healing juice for other people? I can Cure Wounds Lucius a bit as's 3d8 plus 4. You got any more healing juice for other people? I can Cure Winds Lucius a bit as well. I could do with some curing. 14, 19, plus 4, 23 HP. Wow, that was actually a... That was good. You did it.

Hooray! You did it on a heal. You saw it here first. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Healing's not garbage. Healing might be good. That was a lot of HP. Yeah a minute. Healing's not garbage. Healing might be good. That was a lot of HP.

Yeah. Yeah. Whoa! This has been a day of revelry. Oh, yeah. Lay on hands. The ominous door just kind of looms up before you, but it's sealed. There doesn't appear to be any immediate threat.

You're in like a little dock, like a little iron dock. Was I aware of what I just did? Yes. You all were aware of what you did. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why. I saw brains. I saw eyes.

Rat brains. Brains on rats. Green eyes. Talking rat brains. The hammer upgrade is pretty great, though. I'm going to say that. Where's Smeek? Look how happy he is now.

Smeek! Look at his smile. I cry uncontrollably for ten minutes. Will says no. I can't RP this. I'm too happy. Yeah. Okay.

Right, well, okay. So that's great. I don't think 6,000 gold is enough for payment. I certainly don't feel it. I don't feel well. I'm oily. Sure, I'm blasting out heels now. And a bit drunk.

Tom loves healing now. You threw a hammer at me. I didn't mean to. I've been hit in the face with a book he threw a hammer at me I didn't mean to I've been hitting the face with a book and now a hammer really stings I know it wasn't a bruise

I'm pretty sure my nose is flatter than it used to be I'm sorry but I can't hammer look cool though during all of this flatter than it used to be. I'm sorry, but I can't... Hammer looked cool, though. During all of this, Tom has been making a very strange face.

I'm confused. When did healing get good? When you started using it. 18. 18 hit points for Nova. 18's pretty good. Well done. How do I start healing people? That's pretty good. No, I've got no spell slots left for you. Hey! I might start healing people! That's pretty good! No, I've got no spell slots left for you.

I did burn a ton of spell slots doing that. Spell slots! Okay, so where are we now? We're at the door. So there is an iron dock, almost like an industrial-looking gangway, like Metal Grill kind of extending out into the river, Potion of River. Potion of River? Potion of River, there you go. Potion of River.

The boat has docked. Kegbot kind of wheels himself out R2-D2 style. Hello! Oh dear, this goblin is sleeping. Yeah. Whee! Yeah, he's sleeping. We have arrived at the Ethereum refinery.

Please note, this is only for specialized technicians. Are we allowed in? I cannot stop you. Okie dokie. Gangbond is your friend. What did the rat brain, rat skittering brain say before we ran to that corner? Something about controlling all? Anyone hear that?

Can I do a nature check on what I saw of the ratties? A nature check on the what? The rats? Yeah, you can make a nature, arcana or nature check. Given their use of magic, I think arcana would probably make more sense. Ten. Ten? Ten? I mean, they're definitelyana would probably make more sense. Ten. Ten? I mean, they're definitely not normal rats.

You know that much for sure. They have giant brains. They've got brains on the outside. Huh? They've got their brains on the outside, yeah. Yeah, they've got literally brains sticking out of their skulls with green glowing eyes. No idea what those are. Cool.

Weird and gross. Yeah. Throw me a sweet. Throw me a sweet. Throw me a sweet. That's a lot of sweets. And at high speed. None of them are land. No, God, no.

Thank you. You're welcome, Tom. God. You're welcome. You're welcome. Anyway. Okay. So.

I believe that something greater. We've only seen just a mere speck of their power. That's what they said. So their full power is in here probably. Probably the source, yes. They're all controlled by something. But we can't go back without defeating that because then we have to go back through that

and then I'll probably kill more people. Do you know what I think we should do? Jump in the river? Postpone the airship building and spend all the money buying out Wits and Darium and improve it

and I could be the owner. But we still need to get rid of the things. Yeah, it's still infested with rats. Oh yes, yes. But after that? After that, no. No. No. No. No. No. No.

We need an airship. We don't need a dangerous place filled with potions and rivers and golden tickets and such. But my dreams. I've always wanted to go here and have a magical time. Really? Instead, I've got a smouldering goblin on the floor. Really? What the?

I mean, airship though. Airship. Yes, I'll think about it. You can sing songs on the airship. Oh, okay, I'm in. Easy. It's like an air shanty. Yes.

Is that what they'd be? Let's go kill the big rat. Is it a big rat? I bet there's a big one. I bet there's a big one with a huge brain. It might just be one big brain. Can we take a short rest? Can we take a short rest if you want?

Outside the room with the big evil thing inside? Yeah, sure. Sure. Sure. You don't sound confident. You're the DM. Yikes. Big yikes.

I'm always confident, Tom. Okay. So you're taking a short rest? Yeah. Marvelous. Let's roll some stuff. Let's spend like an hour out here. Big yikes. I'm always confident, Tom. So you're taking a short rest? Marvelous. Let's roll some stuff. Spend like an hour out here. Wait, what are you rolling? As you take a moment to begin

trying to gather your energy, recover some wounds, to begin feeling this probing presence in your mind. Almost like you can imagine claws scurrying through your thoughts and your brain, pulling them apart, dredging up memories, dredging up fears, dreams, ambitions. Yes, yes. Yes, so much here.

The skittering mind welcomes you. You would only know peace. Lucius, you begin to see images of your now dead family. Oh, good. Spoilers. Spoilers. Within the mind, you would be reunited

with them. The mind can give you everything you want. Join us. How? Join the mind. How? Simply give over yourself to us. And my family would come back?

Yes. I'm in. Good. Yes, this sounds perfect. Nova, you begin seeing images of your family, but they are in terrible agony and pain, being burnt by Calus Starbane and the Court of Shadows, being tortured, and you begin to hear in your mind,

and the skittering mind can save them, can give you strength. The skittering mind can make all of this go well. You do not need to fear for them. They will be safe. Join us. Join the Skittering Mind. I could probably save them. I mean, I talked to Calus Starbane.

He'd listen to me. He wouldn't do this. You can't possibly save them. He's so nice. You know that you are a failure. Sentry died because of you. I'm not... Oh. Oh. That's okay

because I went on a magical heartwarming adventure that showed me the true meaning of friendship and life. Okay. And I'm not emo anymore. Sure. If you want to believe that. The thoughts linger. Quill.

I just see the last four months. What's that? I just see the last four months like it's been hell. Yeah, you see yourself being torn apart by beasts, by creatures, limbs, eyes destroyed. What's new? You see the great storm descending upon you, the flashes of lightning and thunder, and the great weight of destiny.

You do not need to fear any of this. You could join us, the skittering mind. There would be no pressure, no destiny, no gods to disappoint as you have disappointed Hesper. Whoa, come on.

I probably have. That's mean. Join us. Leave these troubled thoughts behind you. Can I make like a save against it? I mean, you can just decide not to listen if you like. I mean, I feel like he would still listen to it. There, there you go.

Okay. Century, you actually, it can't seem to probe your thoughts, being a guardian. Instead, you kind of feel, you can feel the claws trying to pull apart your thoughts, but almost like they don't understand how you work. It doesn't get a grip. And then you feel within you this kind of swelling light, this golden energy. And you feel that energy that had been lost by the ghost kind of becoming restored.

And you get this image in your mind. You see a space beneath a mountain, beneath a volcano, deep beneath the earth. And as these things try to tear at your memories and your thoughts, you have a flash of when you were first created. A force solving itself. And you see, freshly forged from these great furnaces by dwarves and elves, you see before you

a giant guardian. A guardian larger than any you've seen. And a golden matrix at its heart. And a singular eye staring down, its great armored plating still basically melded to the stone and earth

itself, and you hear in your mind, Arise, sentry. This cannot defeat you. The Prime is with you always. Yeah! That's so cool yeah that's so cool that's so cool

oh hell yeah you hear the voice and it conjures images of you lost and alone as a child, always feeling out of place, being neglected by the other wild elves. You know that you do not belong amongst these kind. These are not your people. They never will be. You are alone and lost, but within the skittering mind, you would be welcome. You would be one. One of us. Join us. He conjures images more again. You see the

others, you see Quill and Lucius and Nova abandoning you, leaving you to defend for yourself with more questions than answers. And then your short rest ends. Cool. Happy fun times.

I've got to go, so I'll see you later. I'm just going to reunite with my family. What do you mean? Someone stop him? You're just going to go in the room? Can I just grab him? You can make an attempt to grab him, yeah.

So if you make a strength check, and then if you can oppose it with acrobatics or athletics, Lucius. Natural one. 23. So he goes to leave and you just grab him by the shoulders and you're like... They can reunite me, don't you understand? Why are you holding me back? Sit. I do sit immediately.

Sit on the ground next to the dead body of Smeet. I want to go in there. We're going to go in there, but we're going to go in as a team. Wait, wait, wait. What was this about your family? The skittering mind. It'll fix all our problems. It won't.

The family that I've lost. Oh, did you guys have a thing too? Yep, yep, yep. Oh, okay, yeah. They told me it was my fault about the whole centuryry thing, which, you know, true, but I've made peace with that. Right, Sentry? Please.

It's fine. Teamwork. Let's go. Teamwork. You can do this. Do not join the Skittering Mind, Lucien. No. If you join, I will personally kill you.

With a hammer to the face. Several times. I think she's serious. Nova knows now. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really sorry. It's still a little wonky.

I'm sorry. No, it's fine. It looks fine. Ow, ow, ow. Doesn't look great. No, it doesn't. It really wrecked her face, actually. It's just a little bit

squint, no? Ow. Okay. Maybe you could just poke it up. It's fine. Don't touch it. It's fine. Don't worry. It's just more interesting though. It's... Anyway. That's what I always wanted. It makes your face look wrong. Thanks.

Hello. Your brother's dead. My brother is sleeping. And he wheels towards the door. Shall we go in? Have we got a robo-smeek now? What? Is this robo-smeek? Hello.

Oh, good. Okay. I love you. Yep. We need to get in there and kill the thing or stop the thing that's making all the things do things to our minds and things. Does that make sense? Yes. Good.

He's on my side. I like this one. Do you require Kegbot's assistance? Yes. Possibly. What can you do? Kegbot has three liquids within him. Unstable potion, hot oil, and beer.

Hmm. Unstable potion. Can I have some beer? Yes. This sprays you with a fountain of beer. Can I have some beer? Yes. Sprays you with a fountain of beer. You smell like me now. Honestly,

it's fine. I'm not that fast. Right. Thank you. You are welcome. So that's that. The plan gone. No more beer. Oil or potion. Those are probably more useful. I have 11 gallons remaining.

Oh, wow, that's a big keg. Shall we go in? Well, we could just shout one of them at the keg. Spray rats with oil set on fire? Yeah, don't spray any of us with it. Okay. Ground rule, none of us. You should be careful.

The Aetherium refinery is a highly unstable location. Great. Let's go. We must destroy this evil threat. Come. And I'm gonna run through. Okay. Into the next room. Yep. What do I see? Hmm. Describe it for us, Mark.

You move into you open up these large metal grated doors and you step inside and you can see bubbling vats, these huge kind of cauldron like vats bubbling with liquids, all sorts of tubes and cables connecting them overhead you see dozens of chains

holding crucibles, big stone like holders liquid holders, where a bubbling silvery metal, refined ethereum, kind of liquidated ethereum is bubbling away as it begins being carted across the room, across by these cables, constantly like

and the very center is one of these larger vats where once there probably would have been a mixture of ethereum and potion or liquid made to produce them in large amounts. But now the vat is just overflowing with these rats, with their glowing green eyes and exposed brains, but they're fused partially together,

and they're just kind of spilling out and growing out. Some of them are connected by tails to hands and claws, just kind of like a big ooze. As I'm storming in, I fall to my knees. Skittering mind, please take the pain away. Very well. If you don't resist, it will dominate you. There we go.

So let's roll initiative then, everybody. For God's sake. Thanks, Trot. Oh, that's bad. He knows what he's sake. Thanks, Trot. Oh, that's bad. Okay. He knows what he's doing. Oh, that's really bad. He's got a plan, everybody.

No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Ayla. Six. Six. Quill. Six. Six.

Century. Six. Really? Really? Yeah. Okay. Lucius. 13. No, that's not a six. You suck. Nova. 18. Lucius? 13.

No, that's not a 6. You suck. Nova? 18. Rubbish. Multiple. And then I will roll for Kegbot. Huh?

It is. Kegbot got a 12. It's a 5. Nova? So you see Lucius just fall to his knees, offer himself up, his eyes go green, and then, yeah, he's going to turn on the party, but you go first. You can see the vats are all kind of connected. They've got furnaces built into them to raise the temperature of the liquid.

You can see the chained crucibles going up over the top as well. Can I see, was it the Rat King that dominated him? It's this one singular creature, the bat of cranium rats, the skittering mind. Cranium Rat King. Cranium Rat King. That's exactly what it is. Can I tell Kegbot to spray Crane and Rat King with oil? Yes. Would that be an action or a bonus action?

Probably, to give him such specific instructions, yes. An action? Okay. He looks at you and he's like, Roger will do! And he begins trundling away, like his little three-wheeled legs, as he just beelines for the thing.

And then can I just move so I'm not in a group with these guys? So you move away from the group? Yeah, and that's all I can do. So you're separated? Okay. Lucius, you are dominated. Defend me. Join us. Look at my beautiful pattern.

Hypnotic pattern. Hits everybody except Nova. If you want to target Flash, wisdom savings throw every point. Not Nova, everybody else. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to see what... Five. Five. Nineteen.

Twenty-three on sentry, so just Aayla fails. So what's the effect? Charmed. You are charmed. You cannot attack Lucius. And while charmed by the spell, the creature is incapacitated and has a speed of zero.

Oh. And incapacitated, you cannot take actions or reactions. You're just staring at this pretty picture of colors and lights. Isn't it lovely? Isn't it lovely? But monotone. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it lovely? Oh, wellone. Yeah, yeah. Isn't it lovely?

Oh, well. So there you go. Very good. Well, it's a triple threat of Aela Quilos entry. No, sorry, Kegbot actually goes. Kegbot trundles up, looks up at the giant vat of ooze. I do not like you. And it just sprays hot oil all over this vat of rats and you can hear

squeaking and kind of shrill screams and in your mind like stop this creature. You must stop this creature now. And then it is aliquil or sentry. Let's go with... Do I get to save at the end of my turn? I believe so. Let's find

out from Lucius. Do you get to save at the end of the turn? Read that tiny text. I can probably find it faster. It's just forever? It ends for the affected creature if it takes any damage or if someone else uses an action to shake the creature out of its stupor.

That's powerful. We'll miss over Rayla's initiative for now. Bye. I've got a dex of 15. My dex is... Just go with Quill for now. So the Ethereum chamber,

you said it was unstable. Is there anything like pipes? Yeah, there's pipes going into it. You can see that there's a furnace connected to it, which is like creating heat to bubble going into it. You can see that there's a furnace connected to it, which is like creating heat to bubble the liquid inside. You can see that there are dozens of like pipes and tubing feeding into it. The crucible with liquid Ethereum is like passing over the top of the vat as well. Hmm.

Liquid Ethereum is pretty hot, right? Yes, and it reacts weirdly with magic. It kind of, Ethereum enhances anything it touches. Okay. Could I... So he's now covered in oil. I guess as it's going over, could I do, like, a magic missile at one of the vats?

Yeah. To try and knock it and, like, spill it? Spill it on him. Absolutely. Bam. I think that hits. It just hits. That just hits.

Yeah. So you just... What level are you casting at? Level one? Second. That just hits. Yeah, so you just, you straight, what level are you casting at? Level one? Second, so four bolts. So four bolts kind of slam into this crucible, and it just tilts the crucible, swinging on the chain, and as it does, these great dollops of silvery liquid

begin spilling onto the rats, and you hear in your minds this horrid, shrieking scream, but you watch as the rats's eyes glow even brighter. Their brains begin to swell even bigger. Oh. Can all of you make charisma saving throw? Oh.

Charisma saving throw. As you feel this psychonic kind of pulse erupt. 11? Yeah, I think you get plus two. 19. 11? Yeah, I think you get plus 2. 19. 12.

12. Lucius as well, please. 19. So everybody who got over 16, you can take half damage. The rest of you all take 15 psychic damage. That goes down to 7 for those of you who halved it. As this kind of sonic energy pulse screams out as their brains

swell in size. However, now I can move again because I've taken damage. You can, yeah. You see their brains are actually so large that they're pulsing and they almost look fit to burst. You can see their brains have become so large by the ethereum that if

they were to grow in any more size they would likely burst. Sentry and then Ayla. I'm going to cast Branding Smite on my axe. But like when I do it can I do it by like holding it up to like one of the furnaces to like super heat it? Absolutely you

can. So you just cast a spell. I'll do a con save for the Skittering Mind. Cool. What's your spell save? 13. 13. So you begin heating up the pressure and you see valves kind of flipping into the red zone. Steam begins

pummeling out of these pipes and vents. And again, you hear this other kind of scream in your mind as it begins burning away at the rats inside the ethereum bat itself and you see several of them sort of like just pop and sort of like burst into flames

but the creature itself is so large and there's so many of them that it's still standing Ayla How many times a day can I use that hammer thing? I think it's once a day Well, I will rage then and I will go and hit it

So you kind of just run straight up to the vat and begin swinging your hammer into it Yeah, whichever point is the furthest out, I guess so I don't have to go too far Yeah, go for it. Make it in time. I'm rolling really badly now. Thirteen. Will hit. Okay.

You're kind of like squishing one or two rats here and there. Can you make a deck saving throw? I mean, it can't move, really, so I'll just fail it. Sure. Fourteen with the hammer, and six with lightning. I mean, it can't move, really, so I'll just fail it. Sure. 14 with the hammer and 6 with lightning. Hey, she did it. Holy crap.

Nice big hit. And second attack is 13 plus 8, so that'll hit too. 16 with the hammer. And 3 lightning. Okay. You're swinging the hammer to and fro, smashing into these rats, squashing several of them, but the large body of the creature remains. On its turn, it sends out dozens of these

rats that are connected by their tails to kind of swarm around you almost like tendrils as it tries to wrap around you and it's going to try and drag you into its undulating, pulsating body. Yum. That's a 20 to hit. Yeah. You make a strength saving throw

please and you take 5 damage. That's already halved. 24. So you're like pulling back and they don't manage to pull you into the body. They're kind of dragging you slowly across the floor. The rats bite into you and you're kind of pulling yourself back

but they don't manage to pull you quite fully in. Nova. Can I cast Create Bonfire on where the oil hits? Absolutely you can. The whole thing kind of ignites into like a flaming bonfire. Ailey, you're kind of like the flame is licking across your face as you're being ever so slowly dragged in.

The flames erupting and another kind of psychic shriek emanates out. Can everybody make a charisma saving throw again, please? Oh, I got 20 that time. Woo! 11. 12. 22. 22.

Nat 20. Nat 20. So I think Nova is taking full damage. The rest take half. So seven psychic damage for those who took half. 15 for those who failed. How many Nat 20s have you had? Like three today.

You've had like three or four Nat 20s today. It's crazy. I don't know. I wish I could do this every week. Yeah. The rats continue to scream and several of them pop as now the fire is raging across them, but there's still enough and you can see their brains pulsating

with psionic power. Lucius, you get to make another same three because you took damage from it. 14 plus a thing. Wisdom? Yep. 17 then. That's enough. You shake free of the dominate spell. Take me back! Okay. Wisdom? Yep. 17 then. That's enough. You shake free of the dominate spell.

Take me back! Okay. Okay. It does not take you back immediately, but you proffer yourself. There is a moment of like, that's disgusting. Oh well, take me back! You see this burning pile of rats with their gross brains swollen and a new family.

Okay, sure. Kegbot will trundle in and will attempt to spray a potion, actually, on the creature. Hitting. Where's my random potions? Let's see what this does to the cranium rats. Eleven. Oh, that's interesting. Who's within ten feet? I believe Lucius and Aayla are.

Can you make wisdom saving throws? This is gross. Oh, no. Six. Six? Thirteen. Okay, the potion that Kegbot sprays over the cranium rats causes the creature to produce a powerful pheromone.

Any living humanoid within ten feet must make a wisdom saving throw or become desperately attracted to the creature. What? What lovely rats you see. Oh. Kill it, please.

That writhing pile of tails and ugh. You can see another one of these. The crucible is still kind of swinging over it. Did I reload the gun during the short rest? Sure. I want to shoot the thing. I just want to shoot something. You're not going to shoot it.

I'll shoot the vat again. The vat? Sure, go for it. Please. 17. Bam! The kind of explosion erupts. The bullet hits the crucible and tilts it and another big dollop of ethereum

Splashes all over the creature. You hear this, no too much power! The brains just pop and explode and go all over the place and the skittering mind is vanquished. Fifty-five shots, one kill. My love! No! I'm going to make out with some of the Rat King bits.

Ew! I'm not. I'm not doing that. In the interest of time, there is a backdoor exit from the Ethereum refinery that Kegbot happily takes you to. Okay. Kegbot decides to accompany you, joining you in your little merry band.

It's not Canal Conical, so you're not going to get Kegbot. But we do see one last thing, which is we see Wicked Wit, the tiefling that sent you here. As you are exiting the building, you see him boarding a skyship away from Gusthaven. And as he gets into his quarters, he kind of tips his hat to the airship captain, sits down, and then he turns to the camera,

if there was one, his eyes glow green, and a raven is popping out. That is it. Thank you for joining us for a little High Rollers adventure. Yeah. That is it. Thank you for joining us for a little High Rollers adventure. Before we go, because I'm getting a flashing thing about it.

This is flashing very much, yeah. Brand new High Rollers hats. You can get them on store.yogscast.com or here in the merch stand. That's been flashing the entire time. It has been flashing the entire time. We've got brand new hats. We also have a brand new Lucius t-shirt. We have a brand new Sorcerer t-shirt on the web store. So if you're online, you can go store.yogscast.com.

Get your Hyrule shirt. We do have a Smeek t-shirt in the works. It's coming. But go and buy the other shirts first. Don't forget to check out Hyrolers every Sunday at 5 o'clock on twitch.tv forward slash yogscast or twitch.tv forward slash highrollers dnd. We will play a far less crazy

game, but still entertaining, I feel. Yeah. Well, I hope so. Yeah. We were throwing sweets. Sorry. Oh, you were just throwing sweets. It's great. It's great. Come and watch it. Once again, big thank you to Beamdog and Skybound. Check out all like Neverwinter and Baldur's Gate all coming to PS4

soon. Thank you D&D Beyond as well hopefully we're going to upload the cool video that we made because we really like it and you can watch that

another time enjoy the rest of YodCon enjoy the rest of YodCon thanks for coming out bye bye bye bye

bye Thank you.