High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: One-Shot | Cabin in the Woods #1

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

Chaos reigns supreme in another one-shot run by Kim! This time we've got Tom, Rhi and Trott exploring a creepy cabin in the woods! Support the High Rollers and get early access to podcast episodes (and more) on our Patreon: www.patreon.com/HighRollers Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Hello and welcome to High Rollers D&D. I am Kim Richards and I am your Dungeon Master for today and I am joined by this bunch of reprobates. Let's start with Rhi and we've got Trot and last but definitely not least, Tom Hazel. Oh, that's the nicest compliment you've given me. Very neutral.

Very neutral. Last but not least is the nicest thing. He turned up. He's here. He's clothed. He's upright. It's Tom Hazel. I'm still breathing, baby. He's still breathing. How are we all doing on this spookiest

of Sundays? Thanks. Thank you very much. Thanks, Kim. You may notice, I am not Mark. Mark is not here. And neither is Katie. They're gone. That's it.

We booted them out. We had a vote. We had a vote. We had a vote and we decided didn't need them didn't need them um but yeah send some love to both katie and mark both of them need uh rest um so why are you spraying i just saw some dust and i've got a couple of steps I've been doing it for the past few days. And that was literally a muscle memory right there. I was like, oh, it does.

I'll spray that. I'll spray that. Got to do this right now. Does anyone have any fizzy drinks they want to just open now before we get into it? With that? Jesus. So, yeah. So what are we doing today?

I don't know. what are we doing today i don't know what are we doing today we're doing we are doing a horror one shot that i did uh four years ago and do you want to know a spooky little fact guys i ran this four years ago on the 28th of august so what that's like five days to the day yeah that's crazy i mean it's crazy. I mean, it's not to the date, so... I said almost to the date, Thomas Hazel. I feel like a spooky fact would be like, I played it exactly

this time, exactly this day, but it's like now it's like five days away. I've got nothing for you. I've got nothing. It was four years ago. Another crazy fact. It was also done by Kim, who's also running this one. Oh my God, she's here today.

I want to believe. Oh my God. It's going to be fun. We're not going to make it past the first two rooms. We're going to role play the entire time. Really dumb shit. Exactly. So this should be a lot of fun so yeah if you have seen this before it is going to be a little bit different i have changed a few things i've brought a few things in you know to reward you if you watch the first one um and as usual these guys are well they're insane so

you know enjoy because it's all going to go to shit within the first what 10 minutes 5 minutes who wants to put a poll on it so on that note I don't think we have any like formal announcements or anything does anyone have anything they want to announce say talk about merchandise I don't know like yeah no

I'm not surprised Tom made it you know when we did the vote to have Tom Mark and Katie kicked out I thought it was Tom made it You know when we did the vote To have Mark and Katie kicked out I thought it was Tom And I got very excited But he's still here I was vote botting

We did it all through Strawpoll for some reason Shall we get this Show wrong on the road Let's get this party started Let's get this show on the road? Let's get this bus a-rockin'. Don't come a-knockin'.

What? This is so fucked. Why? This is so fucked. I don't know why I said that. Why? Three hours? Three hours. Let's do this.

It's fine right how do we even begin my children I believe Kim you got this I believe has everyone opened any fizzy drinks you got all your giggles out like you know

we're good. Trot is devoid of dust right now. No fucking dust. I've been on a fucking tirade ever since Tom commented how dusty my monitor was. You awakened some kind of terrible OCD in this boy. What have you done to him? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, dear. this boy oh dear right what how should we let's let's start because I noticed you have some new names it's not medium-sized bear strout and baby reynard so I think we should begin I'll do I'll

do a little should I do a little podcast do you even make podcasts out of these one shots tom i don't know i do yeah yeah they go out okay okay so i'll we'll start here and i'll last ones don't but these two i was gonna say wow it's a i was about to read out a three-hour poem so um oh okay well maybe it won't go out okay yeah yeah. I know you hate poems. I see. He hates rhymes. He just can't do it. I cannot handle rhymes. They make me do major crimes. No! No! Oh, no!

Before we get started, and before I set the scene, I think we should introduce our new characters. Let's start with Rhiannon, because she looks like she's going to die from laughter. Go on, Rhi. Who are you? What's your name? What are you doing? Hello. I'm Wallowacore, or

Dr. Wallowacore, if you will. I am a female Arakokara archaeologist. I'm walking towards my doctorate. Okay. Wait. You're not towards my doctorate. Okay. Wait. You're not even a doctor yet. I'm working on it.

I'm working on it. Okay. Walla Wakor. She's based on like a... Walla Wakor. She's based on like a great crested grebe. So she has like this crest of orange and black feathers around her head um she wears like a loose white shirt with leather armor vest over the top has some comfy white linen pants over her and she has a large backpack with uh loads of like

pickaxes and like exploring gear and supplies she has like a tent rolled up on the top um and she uses a quarter staff to keep herself from toppling over because she's very top heavy and she has like a tent rolled up on the top and she uses a quarter staff to keep herself from toppling over because she's very top heavy and she has tiny bird legs wait isn't a crested grieve a duck? kind of a duck okay sure I googled it every single picture was them in the water brilliant Okay. Sure.

I googled it. Every single picture was them in the water. Brilliant. We don't even know if they have legs. Like, you can't even see them. I don't know. No one's ever gone under. Tom, I just saw your cat just walk out of the room. I think she was so disgusted. She was like, I'm out. Bye.

She's sick of me already. Right. Who should we go to next? Let's go to Trot. Who are you? What are you doing? I haven't worked out a voice yet, but here we go. Someone's going to come out. Uh-oh.

Hey, y'all. Oh, no! Hey. My name's Bodyknock. Oh, God. I'm just here in the forest. Hey. My name's Bodyknock. Oh god. I'm just here in the forest. I'm a firbolg. Oh no.

Yeah. Yeah, I love trees and I like trees. Yes. Trees and the breeze. Yeah. God yeah goddamn I've got a little little friend I'd like to introduce y'all to sir I call him elf based on the nut elf alpha he's a little and he's my best friend

he sits on my shoulder my name's body knock and I'm pleased to meet y'all I don't get out much actually I'm out all the time what am I talking about I don't speak to many other people but it's really nice to meet y'all.

So, of all of the pets, you went past Dolphin and you picked Weasel. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I did. And I called him Alf. Alf. Alf the Wolf. Alf.

I'm going to write that down. Alf. Tom Hazel. alf alf I'm going to write that down alf Tom Hazel what are you you've just said it I'm playing a version of me that has been teleported away from my computer

I am the level 3 human Tom Hazel and this is his voice he speaks like this and he interacts with characters as if he has been teleported away human, Tom Hazel. And this is his voice. He speaks like this. And he interacts with characters as if he has been teleported away from a computer in the real world to a fantasy universe near the cabin

in the woods. It's me, Tom Hazel. I'm me. Tom Hazel as Tom Hazel. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Hi everyone, you might know me. Tom Hazel as Tom Hazel. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Hi, everyone. You might know me. Everything you know about me

is in this game. I'm crying. I'm actually crying. Well done, guys. 17 minutes in and I'm crying. Oh, God. We've got a furball with Tom Hazel. And just a regular

weedy little nerd human with minus one strength. Yeah. That's accurate. That's accurate. Oh, my gosh. Holy shit. I was going to start this as that you guys all knew each other.

But I feel like Body Knock is perhaps someone you just picked up along the way to your holiday. I was just hanging around these woods. These are my woods. It's worth a long stroll one day. Brilliant. So I'm going to say that perhaps Tom hazel and walla know each other before and and they have uh decided to go on a little holiday retreat um and as they began their journey through the woods to the holiday retreat they just picked up they made a friend

with a friendly little fur bog called body knock um how's that sound does that sound all right yeah do the booking agents know we're picking up a guy on the way in like can we answer the itinerary i mean it's a three-bedroom cabin so it's fine i'm sure they'll be fine with it they don't need to know they'll increase the price if we tell them. I don't know. Yeah. Can't tell them. Yeah, exactly. That's a good point. That happens in the real world.

Just to give you a picture, I don't know if you even know what a fur bulb looks like. Oh, yeah. I do. Do you know what a fur bulb looks like? It's basically a humanoid. It's a greasy grass boy, right? Yeah.

Well, I mean, is that a description? Greasy grass boy? Well, it's like just a nice kind of bluey-gray toned humanoid that's like seven to eight feet tall and has quite a big bulging red nose and just looks really nice and chill. Very happy to be here. Oh, shit.

What are we called? Slash Rhiannon. I know you're being played by Rhiannon. I didn't know fur bogs looked like that. I thought they were just big greasy grass boys. No. He's very tall. I'm going to get a pair of tweezers.

Can I take a sample from you? The museum would be most excited. Yeah. Can I take some fur? Yeah. Pluck some some fur? Yeah. Are you an NPC or are you a... Hang on. Are you being played by Mark right now?

Say something Mark would say. Say rhyme a lot. Say Frost and Rhyme. Uh. Uh. Vox... I don't know. I think it's the short one. It's the short one.

I haven't got a clue. I did. I just want to make new friends. Lovely. So is this like a whole new campaign thing? Or is this going to be a thing for a while? What? Oh, no.

It's a one-shot, isn't it? Oh, people are going to die, guys. People are going to die, guys People are going to die No Tom, if you die in the game, do you die in real life? I suppose so I need to get back somehow I've got to get back to stream

We're doing literally this in like, I don't know, 15 minutes maybe I've got gotta get back You gotta go We just met, buddy Here's my weasel Oh, that's a nice

Very nice All the choices I grab him by the head And I put him right in front of Tom Hazel, the human Oh, hey He's not biting He's not biting and right in front of Tom Hazel, the human. Oh, hey. He's not bitey. He's not bitey.

Have a little tickle his belly. He loves that. Does he really? Do weasels like that? No. It's a little joke. He'd lacerate your face. I don't want that.

I do not want that. No. I'm supposing... Wait, what is it? Is it Dr. Wallowacore, or are we just skipping the doctor for now? The doctor bit will come. It will come. I just need to find the perfect specimen.

Once I find the perfect specimen, I will earn my doctorate. Have you ever seen an Arakokra duck before? No. No? I don't think people make them because, like, why? It's like Arakokra birds, you know, they fly. For the most part, anyway.

Dogs can fly? I also play like an Arakokra who doesn't fly. Can you? Oh, yes. I've just got a lot of shit with me right now, so I can't. I don't want to lose it. A lot of shit.

Are we running, like, encumbrance rules here today or are you just carrying just a ton of crap? That's a big word, little dude. I don't know what you're saying. You're very confusing. You're really smart and I'm very confused right now. That's okay. I love new people and you're so small

you are way bigger than I thought you'd be I'm gonna pick you up now oh don't here we go open your arms up that's it look at you you're so high oh there he goes goodbye

they are greasy grass boys it's just they look a little different they feel exactly as I imagined what's what what is he what is it like what is it what is it like is it is it is it greasy is it lumpy what what does he feel like you know those like slip and slides oh actually I suppose you don't well there's these things called slip and slides right you look like you spray water on a load of rubber and then you slide down it. It kind of feels like that. You know those worms that you can hold that slip out of your hand?

Actually, I suppose you don't know that. No, I don't have hands. It feels like that. You don't have hands. No, you don't. I don't have hands. I don't know what that is. I have no reference to what you're referring to, friend. I'm sorry.

No, you wouldn't. I can't earn my doctorate I have no reference to what you're referring to, friend. I'm sorry. No, you wouldn't. That's my fault. I can't earn my doctorate, human, if you keep giving me these strange otherworldly references. I need something tangible, sir. Please. Do you want to go upside down, Mr. Tom? No, I don't.

I do not. Oh, okay. Shit. Oh. Tom. No, I don't. I do not. Oh, okay. Shit. Oh. Oh, sorry. Do you feel the blood rushing to your head? Coming out your pockets. Oh, sorry, dude.

Oh, my wallet. My phone. It's all right. I wrote my phone. Alf's got it. Whoa. I'm picking up all your shit. I'm picking up all your shit, Tom.

It's gone. Oh, I need all that stuff. My keys. I need those. No, this is too fascinating. No, I need to study these. Thank you. Oh, hey, that's a D20, by the way. That's how we play you. Oh, what?

What? Roll that. Roll that D20. It's called a D20. It's got 20 sides. Roll it. See what happens. Okay. I'll roll. Okay. Okay.

I rolled an 18. What does that mean? That means you win. Well done. What does it mean? You won. You won D&D, which is what this is. I don't know.

You just win the game. You just carry on and keep doing story stuff. What kind of throw was that? Hang on. Are you saying... What throw was it, Tom? Mr. Tom? Do you know? Oh, I don't know.

In this weird... Out of 20, what do you think your strength is? I don't know. I don't know. It's probably an 8. I'm not very strong. Oh, that's not very good. That's less than mine, I imagine. You guys know numbers? Yeah, we do. Whoa, dude.

It's my best day ever. You guys can, like, teach me numbers and stuff, and I can, like, pick you up. Yes. Put me back down, please. You want to go on my shoulders. What do you mean? Okay.

Hey, speaking of making rolls and progressing the story, do you want to head to the cabin? So I imagine this conversation has gone on for several hours as you make your way. Three hours, precisely, as you make your way through Hallow Woods. It is a dense woodland area and the trees are gnarled and dark, branches twisting up to the sky like clawed fingers.

The foliage here is quite thick and there's a heavy stench of moss and rotting leaves that you could smell even despite Bodyknock being there with his very heavy firbolg musk. And if you were quiet for a minute or two, if you stopped your ceaseless wittering and prattling, you'd probably notice that the woods seem oddly quiet. probably noticed that the woods seem oddly quiet. There is the odd crack of a branch and the scuffling of an unseen creature, but otherwise, it's very, very quiet. Tom and Walla, you are both friends who met in the city you're from,

and you decided to go for a little retreat in the woods. Walla, you needed some time away with your research notes. Tom, you just wanted to explore the world and see what it had to offer. And along the way, you picked up Bodyknock the Furbolg, who seems to live on the edges of these woods. And sure, you know there's enough space at the cabin, why not? And sure, there's, you know, there's enough space at the cabin. Why not?

As your conversation goes on and on and on, and all the belongings are shook out of Tom's pockets, the sun begins to set as you arrive at the cabin. It's a small wooden structure that sits in a clearing in the woods with a sloped roof overhanging a porch. And on the porch, an old rocking chair creaks in the breeze. The cabin itself is clearly old but well-maintained. There's a log shed near the front with a few stumps and an axe embedded in one of them. Several piles of logs

there's the front has been swept the porch has been swept as the path there are cute gingham curtains in the windows and it looks warm and inviting there's a well to one side and old, beautifully coloured trees surround the cabin, swaying slightly in a breeze. And if you were to stop your conversation for more than 30 seconds, you wouldn't be able to shake off this feeling that something... It's almost as if the trees themselves are watching you. And that is where you stand.

Hey, dudes, I think we're like the closest friends ever. We just met. Yeah. Do you feel it too, Mr. Tom? That's okay. Let your feelings out.

If not, I can shake them out if you like. Don't do that. I'm just going to go talk to a plant. What? Because the plants aren't very happy around here, you know? And they're all sad and there's something wrong okay so i'm gonna put you down now oh thank you drop drop tom i drop it out like my shoulder height that's okay i fall down hands and knees around us i assume there's grass. Yeah, so it is a little bit dusty

and dry. The grass has kind of been rubbed away to scrubland in the immediate front of the cabin. But there's a few tufts here and there. I'll look for the closest flowering weed

that's coming through, poking through anything. And get right down. Like, my eyes are like level with it. Hey, hey, hey, buddy. Hey, hey. Hey, it's your buddy. Buddy.

And, uh, you okay, dude? You alright? You alright? So, furballs can do this, right? They can speak with plants, but their body doesn't understand

it back. Like, he won't get anything back. They can understand him, but he won't get anything back. Is that in the wording of the actual feature, or are you just adding that little addendum to it? It's a furbolg thing.

So they can be aware of what you're saying. Yeah. So I think that is... Yeah, I can do that. Hey, um... Can you hear anything? Can you hear anything back? Are they saying anything to you? Yeah, man.

Just get a vibe, you know? Just get a vibe. Oh, yeah, no, I get that. Just vibing with them. Okay, interesting. Just write vibing. V-I-B-I-N. Vibing. That's a good

word. Vibing with it right now. And as you're vibing with this weed, which turns out actually to be a nettle, it twists in your hand and stings you

immediately. Oh, dude. Totally uncool. Totally bad. Plants just totally attacked me. I know you're upset, dude, but, like, I'm, like, a guardian of nature and stuff. So don't shoot on your own doorstep and that was just so not red not right just right rude just bumps in the breeze rude plants hmm yeah that i mean don't don't say rude okay okay sorry yeah all right right not cool

they got a lot going on okay there's a lot of like stress in this area not cool oh i see it's not their fault it's not their fault i don's not their fault. I don't hold it against you, little buddy. And I pat the stinging nettle, even though it's stinging my head. It's totally not your fault. I get it. Ow. Hmm. And how long has it not been cool for?

Huh? I don't know. I just got here. Just got here. What's the duration of cool? Yeah, how long does cool last? You're all going to die here! All of you!

You should leave! You're all going to die! You are clustered around this nettle. This wizened, grizzled old lady bursts out from the tree line around the back of the cabin, and she's pointing at you with two fingers, and she's got...

Her eyes are wild, and her hair is just blown out around her. She's in disgusting, dirty rags, and she's just screeching as she comes towards you. You're all going to die! Oh, shit, she's filthy. Watch out for a thing she might be like a caster or something do you do you want to come in come for a holiday we've got room and gloom she shall feast from the flesh on your bones we don't have room we don't have room no space sorry I thought okay

only three rooms and this guy's taking it he's the one who's patting the net I'm like I'm not on your same energy level right now and if you've got some issues I really struggle with uh talking

but Mr. Tom and I push Tom towards this crazy... He's so smart. And so is Walla. These two, and I kind of push them together. These two are my best buddies.

She comes right up in your faces, the two of you. She's right in front of you, very uncomfortably up in your faces, the two of you. She's right in front of you, very uncomfortably up in your... She stinks by the way, absolutely stinks. You gotta help. And she's just... You're going to die here if you are as

smart as your dirt friend says. You will leave or the rock shall take you. That doesn't sound like a bad idea, to be honest. I cast bark skin on myself. You cast what, sorry? Bark skin on myself.

Bark skin, damn. A nice, trickle little bird friend, but it will not save you. It will not save you from her. She will strip the blood from your veins. Doom! And on that, she just starts, this woman, this good old lady starts walking backwards,

still making the fingers at you, still making the horns at you, doing the crazy eye. Okay. And she's walking backwards. Mr. Tom? Mr. Tom? What? Bye. What do you? Mr. Tom? What? Bye.

What do you want me to do? She's leaving. Hey, who? Who's going to spill the blood? Doom! Doom. What is your name? Notebook out.

Good opening question. I didn't bring a notebook! Damn it! Oh! Oh, whoa. I am Asriel, the Harbinger of Doom! Are you sure it's not Harbinger? She's in the tree line.

Weird, she said Harbinger, and I think that's a mispronunciation, but what do I know? This is bad news. This is bad news, by the way. Yeah. I mean, come on. It's going to be okay. They all say that.

Everything works out. Do they? Yeah. She's crazy. She's really weird and crazy. And definitely not an omen. Hey, and I'm gonna grab Tom's head. Ow, ow.

By his head. Ow! And I'm gonna wag my huge furball finger in his face. Very weak neck. Let's not judge people, okay? Let's not call them crazy. Like the stinging nettle. We don't know what stress they've been through.

Okay. She's having a bad day. Shh. It's going to be okay, Mr. Tom.'s gonna be okay Mr. Tom Alf will look after you I give him Alf the weasel thank you

what's your animal handling like Tom uh I'm actually proficient in it oh what because of the cats because of the cats do you want me to roll animal handling

sure why not let's do it let's get a roll in let's do it I rolled a five so it bites you ow shit fucking weasel whoa careful you have cats or something he's sensing like bad juju on you

dude you need to just chill your energies okay dogs i don't get along with dogs either they're just terrified of me all the time they right, fine. We've got a really smart Walla here. See? Walla's cool. Walla's fine. Chill. I'm trying. I'm trying really hard to chill. Oh, yeah, the whole doom thing.

Doom and gloom thing, yeah. She's handling stuff so well right now. Looks like it. Thank you, Bonnie. Oh, she's still here, by the way, whispering from afar. Oh. You hear the word doom just reverberating almost from the trees around you

I wave at where she might be in the trees She whispers doom So are we gonna go on holiday in the cabin? Is it really a holiday for you if you just live

like five minutes away? Every day's a holiday, dude, in the forest. Okay. Good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a point, actually. You cast like a spell.

I didn't actually check if I can cast spells. Let me try. Careful. Careful. What did you do? I don't know. Did I do anything? Am I glowing?

I cast a spell. Magic missile. Magic missile. I can't see. Did I do anything? Am I glowing? I can't see. I don't know. Magic missile. Magic missile. I can't see anything. Magic missile. Hang on. There's a tree. No, not the tree.

Try. I haven't got anything you could practice on. Fuel wounds. Let's see. There's a log. What about this log? Try something on that log over there nothing's coming out of me i don't think i trust focus meditation perhaps maybe boy

maybe body knock can teach you to meditate maybe yeah maybe that energy can help channel that focus. Yeah, and you know what? And I reach into... By the way, should have made this clear, I'm just wearing tiny pants. Okay. Of course you are. Of course you are. I mentioned this one a little earlier. Really long

gangly legs and like shoes that he's clearly stitched together with uh leaves and bamboo and twigs there's no bamboo here well whatever

twine and stuff there you go and he reaches into his pants and brings out some like forest treats. He's got nuts. He's got some mushrooms. Oh, put your nuts back.

You want a little treat? This one will really, really chill you out, dude. It's fine. It's okay you put your nuts back and we'll not ever talk about that ever again right okay

dude I know do you have like anything else on you like a weapon or anything yeah and I look down at my left hand where I'm holding a huge great club oh yeah sorry yeah alright here dude

I thought that was a part of your body I thought it was like a big thumb haha I pat him on the head yeah okay ow the cabin sits there nice inviting hey warm it's quite dark outside now The cabin sits there. Nice. Inviting. Hey, Diggs.

It's warm. It's quite dark outside now. You must be so cold without any fur on you, Mr. Tom. I don't know about you. I'm cold all the time. I've got quite a good down on me. Yeah. I'm okay.

Let me just go inside and I'll start a little fire. I'm okay let me let me just let's just go inside and I'll start a little fire and we can just chill yeah that sounds perfect that one's made of wood chill out together

okay sure sure maybe burn out all the do you know what guys guys this is my first time ever going

inside a place amazing we should make a wish have you ever been in a building before okay we're not supposed to why I know. We should make a wish. You've never been in a building before? No. We're not supposed to.

Why? He's a forest dweller, Mr. Hazel. Yeah, while he gets it. Haven't you made a tent or anything? Dude, I make holes in the ground if the trees let me. Have you ever dug a hole and then put something over the top of the hole while you were in it

dude you're so smart I never thought of that I'm just wondering if that constitutes a building okay sure wow well anyway this is the door no way as a building. Okay, sure. Wow. Well, anyway, this is the door. No way.

Yeah. And it opens on a hinge. Don't write that down, Wally. You know what the door is. Are you going into the cabin? I'm writing down Ben Knoll's reaction. Oh, right, okay. Magical. This is magical. Sure. So, look, if I pull it, it opens, okay. Magical. This is magical. Sure. So, look, if I pull it, it opens, huh?

Push it. Yeah. Voila. If I pull it, it hits against the door frame. If I push it, it opens. I don't want to ruin his thing right now, but I've totally seen other people do this before from a distance, but keep that between us.

I will. I will. Keep keep going you're doing great a great job mr tom yeah see and it's on like this like it unhinges so it kind of swings on like an axis and you can close it again when you're inside yeah excellent demonstration excellent very now i'm thinking about, I'm actually impressed by doors all of a sudden, you know? How'd they come up with doors? Amazing. How did they? How'd they do that? How do doors? As we say, from where I'm from. Anyway,

let's make a campfire in this wooden cabin in the woods. Yeah. See, your energy's totally chill right now. Didn't even eat the nuts. Push the door open. Yeah. And what you see is a large open space.

It's a big open room filled with well-worn but well-loved furniture. Tables, chairs, dresses filled with china. but well-loved furniture. Tables, chairs, dresses filled with china, several battered armchairs in front of a large, currently unlit fireplace. The walls are covered with stuffed heads of all kinds of creatures. And there is a corridor that goes off to the right

and a larger area towards the back of the cabin that goes off to the left. Yeah, so are you going to go in? Are you going to use this map that I spent my lunch time making? Sure. It's all inside now. It's perfect. It's perfect!

It's just like the posters that were in the town. Look! The sketches! They were perfect! Oh, excellent. Wow. Hey, look, there's already a fire, too. How do they do it?

How is it in there? You actually lit all these things. Must be other people. We could have other friends. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe the owners did it ahead of time to make us feel welcome. That does make sense. That's so cool of them to do that.

Wow. Oh, Alf, don't look at... I'm going to cover his little weasel eyes from the stuffed heads. Don't look at that, dude. Too soon, huh? There's a lot of them. Various different woodland creatures, stuffed. You can see the lights, the firelight and the candlelight

reflecting off their marble eyeballs. Are there any weasel ones? No. Not yet. That's okay. There's no weasel ones. Why would there be... I mean, who puts animals like that on the wall?

You know? Weird. It's like a hunting lodge thing. They just hunt stuff, put them on the wall. You know? Weird. It's like a hunting lodge thing. They just hunt stuff, put them on the walls. Why? Trophies. Trophies, you know. Some animals need to eat that, you know? Make use of everything.

They already did. Yeah. Anyway. Should we check out the rooms? Which one? Which one again? Which one? Oh, oh. Let's see. I'm gonna go.

I'll have a look. There's a twin room. Wait for me, dudes. So, Walla walks down. It's quite a small space. So from the main kind of living area, from where you walked in, from the main door, you can pretty much see the corridor.

You can see all the doors. It's not a very large cabin. Walla walks all the way down to the corridor in the east and opens up the furthest most room. You open up and you walk into a room that is softly lit by several candles and candlesticks. There are two twin beds in here. So, yeah, two separate single beds covered in threadbare quilts. There's a wardrobe in the corner and another worn

armchair. And there's a large painting on the western wall of the room, depicting quite a grisly hunting scene. And that is what you see before you.

Wait, did you say two beds in here? What do you know? This is perfect for you and Al. There's a bed for you each. Oh, dude. Okay. That's what these things are? Whoa.

Whoa. Oh, yeah, beds. Whoa. They're like what you normally sleep on, but on stilts. This is a whole room Yeah And a chair too Look at all the stuff

Is this all tree stuff? I guess it's made from trees How do they get the trees so smooth On this ground bit You have to take the bark off. I never thought of that. Dude. People are so smart.

Dude. Alf. I put Alf on the bed on the right. Here. Dude. Alf. Just chill out, dude. Alf starts sniffing around on the bed,

clearly a little bit agitated by something. He kind of investigates the pillow and sort of nuzzles under it, like, you know, uses his snout to flip it up. Oh, dude, what's wrong? Does he like it? I don't know, dude, do it again? Weird vibes. Weird vibes. Out from under the top sheet that he disturbs,

you spot a little patchwork cloth doll. What do you do? Huh. What's this? What's that? What is that? Anyone know? I pick it up.

Oh. Do you pick it up? Yeah. I pick it up. So it's a little patchwork cloth doll, and it has little pointed ears dressed very luxuriously and it has

buttons for eyes. It's kind of cute. As you pick it up and shake it it says, I want to play. It's like Toy Story. Dude, I want to play too ah I found a little tiny friend it's very you grandmother has apples for you oh you got families

here cool I am so beautiful yeah you are dude Oh good to me What's your name When you start freaking out when it turns its head all the way around And then looks you dead in the eyes and says Now play nice that's when you should start freaking out What Okay Barbara

Herb Is that your name Jarababraherb Jarababraherb Good to meet you dude Is that your name? Jarrah Barbara Herb? Jarrah Barbara Herb. Good to meet you, dude. I want you to play. Hey, Mr. Tom.

They want to play. Barbara? No, probably with you. Barbara? Herb? Jarrah? Yeah. I am so beautiful. Jara, Barbara, Herb, dudes.

Well, this is Walla. And I hold up the doll to Walla. Oh, hello, Dolly. This is Mr. Tom. Hi. Hey. Uh, oh. I want to play.

Yeah. Yeah. We all want to play. What do you want to do? It's pretty funny she's got apples maybe Alf might play with that to get it out for a play grandmother has apples for you okay cool good to know many boys finds maybe there's an orchard nearby ah orchard has it cool word boy huh Wow hey meet Alf John a barber Jerry forget John of Barber... Jerry... Forget your name. Jar Barber Herb. Jar Barber Herb. Alf really wants to play, so I'll put you down if that's alright.

Alf will play with you. We gotta go check out the rest of the cabin. The doll on the bed, it just seems to flop and fall silent. Huh. Jar of barber herbs gone to sleep. Sleepy time.

Little button eyes gleaming in the candlelight. Well, I guess this is your room, unless there's not two other beds in which case this is also someone else's room so um oh yeah I didn't think of that it's totally not my place

um I'm gonna go see my room yes let's go another one what's in here oh it's a bathroom I'm going to go see my room. Yes, let's go. Another one. What's in here? It's a bathroom. You enter the room south of the room that you just entered, and it's a small bathroom, as you say.

There is, in the far corner, there is a rather modest toilet. It's literally a hole in the ground with a wooden structure built over it. It smells of rose water, though. And there is also a large bathtub, like an iron-cast bathtub, and it is currently filled with black, fetid water with some green scum

that just is on the surface. No bath. Clean bath. No, no, no, it's not clean. It's definitely not clean. Yeah, no, that's gross as hell. It looks pretty clean.

No, as you start looking at it, so as Vala starts taking a sample, you hear a... coming from down the corridor. Yeah, someone's here. I think the woman got in. Did you lock the door?

No, I didn't lock the door. Let me peek, let me peek. We should totally say hello. Maybe it's the pipes. I might be a Doom lady, though. Are there pipes? Pipes is a bit modern, I think, for a... Cabin in the woods.

Plus, there's literally a hole in the ground for a toilet. I think that just goes out the side of the house, to be honest. What do you do with that? What? Oh, it's a toilet. You do your business. It's a toilet. You put your bottom over it,

and then when you need to do your business, you do it in the hole. So it all goes in there. What kind of business though? When you defecate. Pooping. As they say.

I get it. I'll do that now I guess. Okay. I can't believe you do it. Hang on let's see what time it's like. Don't go yet. Sorry I panicked. I panicked. Okay, okay. Sorry, I panicked. I panicked. Impolite.

It's impolite. You guys go. It's a ton of wallah. Where do you go while Bodyknock is attending to his business? It's like an open door. Goes through it. Slam door behind me. Situation as quick as possible.

If he's about to start really going to town on that hole. Hey dudes. What? Can you keep the door open? I don't want you guys to be too far away.

Open it just like a little bit. I'll open it a crack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little bit. Don't say crack. Don't say crack. Just a little bit. Don't say crack. Don't say crack. Just a smidge. Hey, did you hear where the footsteps were from, by the way?

I don't know. I didn't know where they came from exactly. How settling. Yeah, yeah. It might be an old house. It could just be the foundations just rocking around. Freaking.

Yeah. He's definitely... How's it going out there, dudes? It's good, it's good. It's good. It's good. Do you guys just loiter in the corridor while Bodyknock's dropping a deuce?

Yeah, we're going to check the next room, Bodyknock, okay? Cool, we're going to check the next room, Body Knock. Okay, cool. We're not going to be too far away. Just the other side of the wall. Okay, Mr. Tom. Ah. Jeez.

All right, so yeah, we're going to the next room. Okay, so you see, again, a very simple bedroom. It's got a double bed in it, again, with a similar kind of decor. You know, there's a small wardrobe in the corner. There's threadbare quilts on the bed. And you can see

a cracked pair of glasses on the bedside table. Hmm. They look like yours, Mr. Tom. A little bit. How funny. More rounded, you know. They're like the things you wear. Yeah. I mean, they're like the ones I wear, but not the same. I wouldn't work, probably. I like Harry Potter

glasses, these ones. Who's Harry Potter? Rounded, like circles, you know. Yes, but is he a friend of yours? Yeah, a friend you know. Yes, but is he afraid of yours? Yeah, he's a friend, actually. So can I pick up the cracked glasses? Yeah, they're just a simple pair of glasses.

They look more, to you, Tom Hazel, they look more archaic than the kind of glasses that you, Tom Hazel, would experience in 20th century. One of the lenses is cracked uh in the middle um and yeah that's what you see and as you tilt them actually to the light you notice a halfling girl in the reflection stood behind you. Why, there is someone behind me. Why, there? Uh, no, I don't see anybody.

Okay, put the glasses down, then. What's wrong? Saw a little halfling in the corner, you know, in the reflection of the glasses. Ah, unusual. Can I make, like know, in the reflection of the glasses. Ah, unusual. Can I make like an arcana check on the glasses? Just have a look at what, see if there's any magic on them or anything. Nice.

I get it all the time when I see like a glimmer in my glasses and I think it's a person going around the corner and I freak out and start running, but it turns out, nope, just light. So 16. So there's nothing magical about the glasses um they do appear to be a normal pair of glasses the right lens is cracked um and as you look into it you see a halfling girl stood in the corner of the room. But when you turn to look, she's not there. Oh, goodness me. Let's quickly put them down. Okay, there's no magic in this world.

You know, this world magic stuff on these glasses. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very weird, though. I saw her. I saw the girl. I saw the girl. Something's up. What? Missing out.

I don't think we are. What are you doing? Oh, yeah. What is Bodyknock doing? He's got in the bath. Oh. Trot. Make a strength saving throw.

Okay. 14. As you are splashing around in the water, it's disgusting, by the way. It is black water. There is green scum floating around on the top of it. And would Bodyknock... You sense some movement in the water.

And as you shout out to your newfound companions, two shapes rise up out of the bathtub clamp around you and start dragging you down into the bathroom oh no what's up oh did we we just had a splash did you matter flush? I know he's trying to flush. Oh, no. Okay. Oh, no, he got in the bath. He got in the bath.

Bad vibes. So as Tom and Waller run into the bathroom, they see this furbolg wrapped in a mass of water. You can see two distinct arm-like shapes pulling him down into the blackness. Do they usually do this, Dirt? Dirt, this doesn't feel good. No, this is not good. Not normal. I'm going to try and pull him out.

I'm going to go over to the buff. Try and just... Help me get him out, Mr. Tom! Uh, um, uh, oh! I got a sword thing. Check with advantage. Oh. If Tom is helping you.

If Tom is helping you. I'm, like, taking out a longsword, and I'm, like, sawing along the edge of the weird black goo. You're sawing along the edge of the weird black goo. A 16. I never went to LARP. I don't know how to use these things. And I'm not a warrior. Wow. I'm a dude in front of a computer most of the weed, my coon. A 16. I never went to LARP. I don't know how to use these things. And I'm not a warrior.

Wow. I'm a dude in front of a computer most of the time. So, Wally, you dive towards the bathtub and you grab Bodyknock's ankle. And you actually do manage to stop. You think that if you had left it any longer, Bodyknock would have been dragged

completely downwards into the blackness, but you managed to grab his ankle and stop him from moving any further. Tom, you are attacking the creature, the thing, the water. What are you doing? Soaring it, yeah. Roll an attack roll for me.

Okey-dokey. Boom. roll an attack roll for me okie dokie boom 14 and is your sword magical in any way no it's just a long sword ok roll your damage

boom oh god just a longsword. Okay. Roll your damage. Boom. Uh, oh god. Five damage. Five damage. So Tom, you plunge your sword into the black murkiness of the water and it just, it goes through. There is some

resistance and the water, the ripples, you know, pull back away from your sword but it doesn't seem to do much. I'm going to say let's roll for initiative. Oh damn.

It's a battle. Where's my initiative? Oh, I got a 20. 21. Nice. I'm a speedy boy. What did you get, Reed? 19. Why do you guys never roll like this

when it's actually like a row or something? I know. 19, 21. We roll when it matters. So, 18. By the way, my favorite enemy is oozes. So if there's any oozes, totally got this, guys.

Nice. Interesting. Interesting. So, Bodyknock, you feel the water, this sentient pressure in the water, constrict around you and try to pull you deeper into the water, but you're not sure if it's because of the kind of claw on your ankle or what, but you don't move any further. Trot, it's now your turn. Bodyknock, even. So, am I still restrained at the moment or am i still in the bath have i been pulled out fully or um so i would probably say you're actually probably upside down like

your foot is out of the bath where walla has grabbed it your head is probably down in the bath and it's strange because you can't actually feel the bottom of the bathtub um it's almost like it's it's not there you're not restrained yet but you get the feeling that if you can't actually feel the bottom of the bathtub. It's almost like it's not there. You're not restrained yet, but you get the feeling that if you don't do anything, it's not going to be great for you. I'm going to reach for my great club that I left just to the side of the bathtub,

like clutch it and then just kind of whack. Whack the hands. Give them a good whacking. Dude, get off. Dude. Too much now. 22 to hit. That'll hit.

And then six regular old bludgeoning damage. Stop. Stop it. And as a bonus action, I'm going to turn invisible. You can turn invisible. Yep. Nope. It's the last thing you see and hear.

Nope. And furball magic allows me to turn invisible as a bonus action. Okay. So similar to when Tom tried to attack this thing, the great club swings. I mean, you swing it into the bathroom, probably just narrowly avoiding tom um and it does connect with something and you know you feel a sort of because your head's

in the water you hear this like you know almost like a kind of muffled cry um but you don't get the impression that it it did very much uh Can you read me what invisibility does? Because I'm just thinking that if this thing has you wrapped up in it, I don't feel like it would be that effective. It's a

instinctive reaction that I do when I panic. I just turn invisible. It doesn't really... I don't really gain any benefits because I'm already being attacked at all. And as soon as I attack, I deal damage or force a saving throw

and it disappears again. Fair enough. Next up is Tom. Hazel. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Where is he? Next up is Tom. Hazel. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Where is he? I don't want to slice in case I slice him.

I can see him displacing all the water and stuff, but there's a pointless invisibility if you ask me. I'll just... Meh. Meh. Is this the inner dialogue you have I'll just one of the in a dialogue you have whenever stuff happens in regular high rollers your

tactical move was poor I wouldn't have done that I'll try again I've got no magic or anything so I'm just gonna bam a 20 to hit you're rolling so well You're rolling so well. We're rolling so well.

I know, right? Four damage this time. And also, I want to use... No, I don't want to use this. Don't ignore me. With pleasure. I have 18 AC? Holy shit.

Wow. You're top of the list yeah do you have like a shirt or something alright Jmail plate armour

yeah so you strike again I guess with your I don't know incredible Tom Hazel player instincts you decide to strike exactly where you

struck before in the hopes that the furbolg hasn't moved but yeah again you do you decide to strike exactly where you struck before in the hopes that the furbolg hasn't moved. Yeah, again, you do feel the blade connect, and there is some sort of reaction in the movement of the water. But yeah, that's it.

Rhi, what do you do? I'm going to cast Shillelagh on my quarterstaff, giving that a D8 of damage, and then I'm going to just whack it with my quarterstaff. It gives me a plus five. So that's 17, 19, 21, 22 to hit. Not a hit. Where are you whacking?

I'm whacking on the place that Tom has been hitting. Okay. And are you still keeping a hand on uh on boy knock i guess not at the moment in time i'm just trying to whack this little tentacle

thing drop his foot and whack the water uh yeah so draw your damageo d8 minus one baby that's five minus one

does your um does your staff does it is because you cast Shillelagh on it, does it magical? It becomes magical now, yeah. Yeah, okay, so that's a five. You would have regular damage from the thing as well. It adds plus one D8. Yeah, it's a D8 instead of a d6 damage I never used that spell

got it you never used it trot what's your AC oh good point it is 12 12 why is it 12 are you wearing any armour?

I guess not. It's 13. It's less than me. 13. What size are you? 7 foot. So is that large? No, I'm regular size.

But for encumbrance and stuff, I think I count as a size larger, but we never do that, so don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry about it, dude. So you take... You feel... So once you feel... I'm just trying to think, actually,

would invisibility give you any advantages, do you think? Nope. If anything, it's a hindrance in this whole situation yeah made it more confusing for the other two you're already in it um yeah so you're gonna take uh seven points of bludgeoning damage um and you are grappled um and as you are grappled you feel your body being pulled down deeper into the water. It's your turn. Next. Okay.

I'm going to... So you are grappled and I think that counts. Let's see. You're pulled into the water. Until this grapple ends ends the target is restrained okay I think I'm going to try and break free from this

grappling so it's a strength save right grappled it says grappled grappled grappled grappled I'm just double checking it says like escape DCc is 13 but it doesn't say like what yeah so probably a strength saving throw yeah let's say strength yeah

eight so nope nope yeah you try and and wriggle out but yeah you you can't get free at the end of this turn my, my invisibility goes away. So you suddenly see me struggling underwater now, failing to get out of the grip. And you just see a lot of bubbles rising to the surfaces. I'm trying to speak to you guys. Blah, blah, blah. But the cogs are churning that i shouldn't be speaking underwater right now oh no and that's the end of my turn okay tom you are next i'll throw my backpack on the ground and

start rooting through that uh uh i got this crowbar hammer whatever the hell this is. Oh, I think these are called pitons Don't need that. Maybe I do rope. I got rope grab on grab on to this Well body body body body knock buddy knock Yeah, drop the series bubbles what I Mean can I see it I guess? i mean can i see it i guess you just see blackness around you like it's just it's it's black liquid around you can see basic shapes like you've got the the arm kind of shapes wrapped around you

um so i would say that you could probably see tom but like it's very blurry like you can't you can't really hear him you can't really see him well i've just weakly tossed a pathetic amount of rope onto the very top of this bath i'd say his you could probably see his arms are restrained right this thing has wrapped itself around him so like dangling the end by his hand. His open hand. Grab that. Grab it. I try to optimistically shout, good job Tom, but underwater.

You sound like a murloc, basically. You sound like a murloc. And I waste a load of breath doing it. I do two thumbs up while grappled in the inky blackness of this water. Ties around him or something.

You're going to tie it around him. So I guess, are you going to plunge your hands in and start tying it? Yeah. Okay, make me... I'm going to say make me a straight-up dex roll. Because I reckon you'd have to be quite dexterous to tie it.

Oh, yeah. I'm really 20. Oh, okay. So, yeah, in a moment of clarity you plunge your hands into the black water and you find his foot this fur bog's foot it's quite large quite hairy um and yeah you start trying even though it's kicking and flailing you manage to get a fairly sturdy knot around his ankle. Anything else? That's it. Once I let go of the knot, I've let go of the rope. It was such a pleasure to play with. Rhiannon! I did it!

I'm gonna help Mr. Tom with the rope. Start trying to pull it. Pull him out. Oh, shit. Good idea. Let go. Strength check.

That's a one. Yeah, that's a two. I am not very strong, Mr. Tom. I'm sorry. Help me. Yeah, it doesn't work, mate. You trim it. It's just so slippery in here.

It's so slippery and there's a lot of chaos and there's a very small space and there's a lot of water going everywhere. The fur bog is kicking like crazy. You can't even figure out what it is you need to grab to pull. You know, it's a disaster. You get nowhere with it you get absolutely nowhere with it um so back up to this round uh oh 17 18 19 20 21 22 uh that'll hit you i guess trot yeah one yeah it will yeah but quite a way. So you take...

I rolled very badly. Six points of damage. And you are pulled even further down into the water, and you're struggling to breathe now. I'm not going to make you make any checks for it, but you're starting to get the feeling that

this is not going to be great for much longer. Okay. Okay. Okay. I've got the spell Goodberry so I can create some panic berries. Sure. They just start floating to the top.

Like bath bombs yeah they look like little poo nuggets little fear poos okay I think I got something is it my go? yeah yeah it's your go

I've got beast bond which allows me when cast to telepathically speak with my beast companion. I'm going to call it... Oh, yeah. Fuck me. Okay. There's all of that.

Telepathic link with a beast you touch that's friendly to you. Okay. So, I've definitely touched Alf, unless you want me to touch him right now. No, it's fine. Thank you. He's probably bobbing in the water trying to help anyway so i send a telepathic uh message that goes a little something like this dude real bad right now uh can't breathe would you mind getting me out of the bath just in the other room. Cheers, dude. Ah, it's not too much trouble.

Thanks, buddy. And hoping. He also gets a turn I keep forgetting on my initiative. So I can actually command him to do stuff. He has a movement speed of

30. So from this bed, assume is where alf was 5 10 15 20 25 30 you can get to the bath about here okay and i'd like alf to hopefully try and assist with this whole rope business and pull me out okay so you So you're going to get this tiny weasel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Guess make a strength check. It's a strength of three. That's fine.

He got six. It's higher than me. Higher, stronger than Waller. So Waller and Tom, you see the door burst open and this tiny weasel comes running in. No, it's a rat thing! Hops up to the bath

edge, grabs the rope in its mouth. Attack of opportunity, please. No, I don't. Tom pun pump it across the room and kick it out of the window

ah um yeah no uh the weasel falls in the bathtub

ow oh oh fuck grab all the good berries as you go down they'll keep you alive uh Tom it's your go Oh, fuck. Grab all the good berries as you go down.

They'll keep you alive. Tom, it's your go. I can't pull him out, but I'll try and stop him from going any deeper. So I'm going to run out this door with the rope still attached and slam the door on the rope so it kind of holds it in place to stop him from going any deeper in the bath. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

And if the bath pulls too much, it will take the entire cabin with it. And then what do we do? I mean, the door frames don't look that sturdy. Physics, dude. If you, like, carry it, it starts just sinking into the ground. I slam that door, and then I go around to this room and I slam the door

on this one too double support on the rope 5 10 15 20 25

30 35 14 oh christ I'm guessing it's a 50 foot rope right yeah uh

yeah do you know what I'll say that it will wedge Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what? I'll say that it will wedge the rope. We'll hold it for one turn, if I'm feeling. One? Nice. The entire cabin's going to go under into the bath. Where does the campaign go from there, huh?

I know, right? Rhi, what do you want to do? You see he just runs out of the room and slams the door. You don't really know what he's done, but he's just slammed the door. We need to pull him... What are you... What are you doing?

I'm going to panic cast Acid Arrow, again focusing on that spot that we've been hitting at on this thing. You're just firing an arrow down. I'm just panicking. I'm just firing it. I'm just like, for God's sake. Please.

She's panicking. Is that a spell? Would it be at disadvantage? It's a ranged spell attack. So it would be at disadvantage then. Okay. Watch her roll one. Oh no.

That is 11 total. 11 total. It does not hit. No! My final level two spell! Oh my god. I'm faking it because you're so panicked. It just, it doesn't connect.

It splats on the wall. It sprays everywhere but it doesn't Oh god, what the hell is going on? Oh my god. Right, it's fine. It's fine. It's Oh my god, I don't know what's going on.

I'd like to see it fall against its house. I mean, it's not a house, it's a cabin. It's very old. It's very woodworm-y. Yeah, I know. I know, friend. I'm just trying to think. Hmm.

How do I not kill Bodyknot? It's not a case of killing. It's a case of what's going to happen if... Yeah... Um... So.

I'm going to roll. Oh! So I'm gonna roll Oh Yeah unfortunately It hits again It lands again It lands its attack again What's the damage? That's Six points of damage

Budgeting damage Down to six guys Oh my god some damage? Budgeting damage? Oh, no. Down to six, guys. Oh, my God. And it pulls you... It pulls you... I'm just trying to think how much it would offset.

Do you know what? Tom, I want you to make a strength save. And I'm going to make a strength save. I mean, I'm also... Does the house help? I make a strength save. And I'm going to make a strength throw as well. Does the Harris help? I rolled a natural 20. He's going against the Harris too. Roll with a natural advantage.

Roll with advantage then. Oh. That's a six. Yeah, that's six. And that's a three. Oh no. Oh no. There's two doors. and that's a three oh no oh no to the surge of energy

the water wraps ever tighter around body knock and pulls him down into the darkness Tom two rooms away the rope is pulled out of your hands go fuck rope out of your hands Go fuck rope, woman!

Burn your hands Smack through the two doors I'm going to say three Make a dex throw because I want to see if you can react fast enough to grab the rope Let's go, let's go, let's go

No! You know fast enough to grab the rope. Let's go, let's go, let's go! No! That was a fall! Walla dives to grab the rope as it zips in through the room and slips on the water on the floor, smacks her face on the floor and you watch

as the bathtub empties taking body knock with it and all you see is an empty tub no black water no body knock

I like I like open every door with my elbows now and I walk in the room like using just elbows to open stuff like ow fucking ow my hands oh no oh um gone he's gone in the bath mr tom i don't know what we're doing we don't know where he's Can I see like a hole at the bottom of the bath? You would probably notice that there was a shimmer, a shimmer of magic, and then almost as if the facade settles back

and then it's just solid. Well, shit. So, quick question for the DM here. Just a quickie. Should I roll another character real quick? No. Really? I have things I can do.

Okay. It's fine. It's fine. We'll go to a break real quick. Really? I have things I can do. It's fine. We'll go to a break real quick. Are you waiting for Tom and Waller? Is there anything you want to do? You can play the weasel. I can play it. A grieving elf.

Didn't the weasel go in the bath? No. He's running around the bottom of the bath. Mr. Tom, do you want your deposit back? Are you bothered? A little bothered. I mean, I didn't expect someone to be

sucked into the bath, to be honest. I'm going to take out my pickaxe and I'm just going to start hammering away at the bath with my pickaxe and I'm just going to start hammering away at the bath with my pickaxe just start smashing it up okay well we've lost the deposit now yeah the bathtub smashes to pieces

but I presume you let the weasel get out of the way first yes yeah yeah I don't smash the wheel yeah yeah yeah yeah you smash the bathtub to pieces but there's nothing there before you start smashing it. Outfall jump out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you smash the bathtub to pieces, but there's nothing there. Cool.

So is he gone? Like, what do we do now? Well, if it's... I don't know. I don't know where he could have possibly gone. This is so unusual. This is so strange. The bath dimension, obviously. I don't think that's a't know where he could have possibly gone. This is so unusual. This is so strange. The bath dimension, obviously.

I don't think that's a real thing, Mr. Tom. I appreciate that you're new to this dimension, that you call it. Weird. It starts with bed, then it goes bath, and now he's in the beyond. Fuck sakes okay look did we really need a third guest in this place we want to get the crazy oh my god

wow mr tom i said it was a one shot We want to get the crazy wish team in there. Oh my god! Wow! Mr. Tom! I said it was a one-shot! People will die! I don't know what you're referring to, this makes no sense! He was so nice! And now he's in... I don't know where he's gone! He was nice, Ron and he...

You need to help me dig it up. Take the shovel. What up? What am I going to do with this? This is wood. We're digging. Really? We're digging him out. Yes.

With a shovel. I have my pick. You've got the shovel. We can find him. Here's a great idea. Use the pickaxe on the wood and then I'll use the shovel. Okay. Otherwise, I'm not sure how the and then I'll use the shovel. Okay.

Otherwise, I'm not sure how the shovel's going to help against wood. Well, then let's... Okay, well, then let's go. Let's do it. We'll find him. Let's keep digging. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Okay. All right. We're just going to keep digging under where the bath is. Sure. Yes. And as you two are arguing and bickering and shouting at each other and the poor weasel's just sat on the floor looking between you, you hear a huge clatter come from the main room

and a smack of wood on the floor. And that is where we're going to take a quick break. Oh, my God. Yes. Did you expect someone to basically die instantly? Who says he's dead? Ah, well. Did you expect someone to be kidnapped

by a barf? Did you? Can't say I did, to be honest, no. I'm surprised it's not you. I'm going to survive this. I'm going to be fine. Challenge accepted. Entity world. If I die in this, I get kicked out of Hyrule.

Yeah. That's the rule. Yes.