High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: One Shot | Infernal Asylum #1 (Part 2)

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

The League of Ordinary Gentlefolk have made their way into the asylum and start investigating the disappearances! D&D Beyond is the official digital toolset for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. Use the code HIGHROLLING on D&D Beyond (http://bit.ly/dndbeyondhighrollers) to get 25% off all digital items (excluding the Legendary Bundle)! Critit.co.uk combine carpentry and RPG gaming to deliver bespoke, handcrafted gaming accessories for D&D and Pathfinder players! Dice Boxes, Rolling Trays, DM Screens and more! Make sure you check out their kickstarter - bit.ly/critithighrollers - to get 25 beautiful Animal Companion miniatures for £40! Support them there and get yourself some furry, scaly or slimy friends for your campaign! Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with uber eats what do we mean by almost you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered but you can get chicken parmesan delivered sunshine no some wine yes get almost almost anything delivered with uber eats order now alcohol and select markets see after details hello everyone welcome back to high rollers this is my spooky voice because today we are playing a two-parter one-shot DM'd by Kim while Mark is away in Japan. I'll stop doing

this voice now. As usual, this stream is sponsored by D&D Beyond, which was extremely helpful for creating today's characters and Kim used it a lot to build this adventure, so check the episode description for that. We also have a brand new sponsor in the form of www.critit.co.uk

C-R-I-T-I-T who create bespoke handmade accessories for D&D or Pathfinder players like you and me they're also running a Kickstarter for animal miniatures to add to your game 25 miniatures that you can get for just £40 including wolves, snakes and rats, with stretch goals including scorpions, dogs, crows, pseudodragons and

unicorns. So again, £40 and you get 25 super high quality animal companions to add to your campaign, and you can find that using the link in the description of this episode, or by going to bit.ly forward slash critItHighRollers. Anyway, back to the episode. The team have found their way into the spooky asylum and are investigating the disappearances. Hello and welcome back to High Rollers. This is our special two-part one-shot as Mark is away on holiday in Japan.

Welcome back. So how do you guys think it's going so far? You making progress? I mean, how do you feel like it's going? It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's definitely like a well-oiled machine.

Okay. So for those of you who don't know, we have an intrepid band of adventurers who are part of the League of Ordinary Gentlefolk who have come together to solve this unexplained mystery of patients going missing from an asylum. They have arrived at the asylum, two disguised as guards and two disguised as patients, and they have just met well they've met two of the nurses and several patients and you have been told to report to head nurse ratchet

to get your uniforms and to hand over your possessions because we can't have patients running around with sharp things yeah um yes so we finished off we left off before the break in the day room um is there anything you would like to do? So we were just told to mingle, weren't we? Just wander around, meet the locals. So what should we do? Any opportunity, I'm trying to get an arm and wander around with you. Any opportunity, I'm like continuously walking away from them.

Is there anyone in this room that is a human girl, maybe in their mid-twenties, maybe they have, I don't know, some brown hair, brown eyes? Nope. Is there anyone that looks slightly similar to that? Nope. Are there any girls? There's a young dwarven girl holding a taber.

Okay. Could I go up to her? Are there any girls? There's a young dwarven girl holding a table. Okay. Could I go up to her? Yep. And say, Hey. Hey! I'm a god. Oh.

I'm not meant to talk to gods. Bye! What? And she turns around to cuddle her teddy bear. Hey, don't worry, I'm not a god just yet So I'm not a god I mean, I said I was a god I will be

But right now I'm not a god So you can talk to me I've been told not to talk to gods No, no, I'm not a god yet So you're gonna be one? Maybe Let's say Alright, let's just restart

Hey Hi I'm not a god But you just said you were a god Maybe one? Maybe. Let's say, all right, let's just restart. Hey. Hi. I'm not a guard. But you just said you were a guard. No, we restarted the conversation, remember? Oh, that's not how conversations work. It's exactly how it works.

I cast friends on her. What does friends do? It's a cantrip. And for the duration, I have advantage on all charisma checks. Is there any... Oh, crap. Apparently they realize once it ends as well. But do they realize that you've cast it? It's semantic and it's got a material component, but...

I think they just realize after, not during. So you have advantage on all charisma checks. Yes. So what would it be on all charisma checks. Yes. So what would it be? Persuasion. Yeah. Persuasion. Advantage. With advantage. 14 twice. 19.

So as you say the spell, so imagine you trigger it with the word friends. Like, you know. I'm not a god yeah friend yeah she kind of just like shake her head and be like hi my name's carrie sorry did you say your name was felicity brown no my name is carrie insight when i say felicity brown you can't just say insight and just make that be an insight. How's she looking?

Just confused. You're really confusing her. She's a young girl holding a teddy bear. Sorry, I heard you say your name was Felicity Brown. I'm looking around the room. Oh my god. What insight did you roll on the room check? On the room check? Oh, because you're inciting... 13. People have mostly ignored you.

There's one or two of the more lucid patients who just look at you really quickly and then look away. Nurse Wilkes is staring directly at you. So your name's not Felicity Brown? Because you said your name was Felicity Brown. My name's Carrie. Carrie, that's what she said. Sorry, I misheard you. You're weird

I don't like you Well, I guess we're done here And then does your spell wear off? I suppose She'd shake her head and be like Hey! Hey! Looks like we got a rough one

What was your name again? Guard Guard Looks like we got a rough one. What was your name again? Guard. Guard. Flick. Flick. Flick. Flick. She's getting uppity.

I'm checking you in. I'm checking you in. I swear to God. She's getting uppity. She's getting uppity. Hey, Wilkes, what's the protocol on upity patients? I'm going to walk away from him, so I don't want to be near him when that glare's happening.

I am Nurse Wilkes. Nurse Wilkes. What did you just do to the girl? I asked her name. You cast a spell. What was it? I didn't cast a spell. I'm just very charming. I refer you to the rules that we spoke about not less than a minute ago, Mr. Stroll. What did you do?

You told me to mingle. So I wanted to make friends with the patients. We do not tend to encourage a friendly relationship between patients and guards, Mr. Skuld. Is that clear? Very clear, Nurse Wilkes. Thank you very much. This is your first warning. How many do I get? Two. Two? Normally it's three. Nurse Wilkes. Thank you very much. This is your first warning. How many do I get? Two.

Two? Normally it's three. This is my first of two. She's just staring at you. Okay. You're so fiery. I love it. I love the passion. Cast friends on me.

I'm not allowed to cast any spells. Hey, what sort of things would get me a second warning? Because I didn't actually have... Everything you've just done. There was no induction process at all. I just came into the room. I told you the rules, Mr. Skuld, not less than a minute ago. Do you remember what they were?

Just listen to you. But that was pretty much it, right? And what did I say? Not to hide anything. I said, you pay attention to what we say, and that is all. By the way, you didn't tell me to... Very well, Nurse Wilkes. Very, very well.

Tell him what you're doing. Let's go find our sister. What are you doing, Tom? Are you carrying on? Thank you, Nurse Wilkes. I will not disobey you again. Good. And as you walk away, you see a slight movement in her hand

and she puts something back. You can't quite see because of where the window is, kind of like this. You can't quite see where her hands are, but you can see that she moves her hands to put something down on the desk below. moves her hands to put something down on the desk below. In that case, I'm just going to stand attentively at the wall, watching around, just looking around. What, at the wall?

I'm very sorry, I will go into the corner. Can I look out of a window outside and just have a look at like the the woods um so you can't see a great deal because the windows are quite dirty and um obscured by ivy and the thick bars you see pretty much the same thing that you saw um on your way in you can see that's much darker now it's probably coming up to night time. And the fog has rolled in even closer. And roll me a pathepshon.

I thought you were going to say a pathetic chair. No, that was terrible. Oh, I'm very pathetic. No, that's a five. You think you see, as you're looking out in the fog, you think you see maybe something, a creature, a foot an arm but then as the fog rolls it just sort of rolls back into the darkness again and you're not sure if it was if it was just the fog as it moved around what do you guys do re i'd like to sidle

up to katie and uh be like hey um're probably going to take this off me so I want to give it to you first and I take off my halberd off my shoulder it's like massive it's like huge and I'm like this is the least subtle thing in the world

I don't think that there is someone looking around take care of Jerry with an eye thing in the world. I don't think that there is a... Stop looking around. Take care of Jerry with an eye. Thanks. Are you stealthing this in any way? Yeah. That would be probably sleight of hand.

Could I assist with a sleight of hand since I'm like a rogue? I can... Roll me something. Roll me a dice. Roll me a d20. You're not doing the a rogue, I can... Roll me something. Roll me a dice. Roll me a d20. You won't do it with a huge outfit. 4p. 18. Okay, I was going to...

Roll advantage. I've got a plus 9 to sleight of hand. Yeah, 18. Okay. 18 plus your sleight of hand, so... Yes, it's 18. That would be a 23 if it was sleight of hand from me. Okay.

How are we sleight of handing out? I think the... I don't know. It's more the act of giving it to Flisk. It's not like... They're not trying to hide that there's a halberd, but hide the fact that Rhi is giving this halberd over to Flisk. Fear.

Fear. Flisk, fear. Fear, Flisk, fear. Okay, yep. So she hands over the halberd to you and you slip it on. It doesn't appear that the nurse, Nurse Wilkes, has noticed.

I think she's probably too distracted by a skull. All part of the plan. While this happens... Jerry with an I. Jerry with an I. Yeah. What if I spell it wrong? Will you be really angry?

It's making you uncomfortable. It's okay. It's fine. Don't think an eye. Yeah. What if I spell it wrong? Will you be really angry? It's making you uncomfortable. It's okay. It's fine. Don't think too hard. It's fine. Okay. I just know it has an eye. I don't know where it goes.

Is it a J or a G? Ugh. What? While Bear Strout is kind of moaning and screaming and just having a slight midlife crisis you suddenly hear screaming coming from the corner of the room where the music box was and a young man clearly distressed is like clutching at his head. Stop! Make it stop! It's too much! And he starts smashing at the music box. As he's doing this, you can see everyone around him, oh God, oh no, just backing off and running away. Someone, another patient, a young half-elf, tries to go to him and like, stop, stop, calm down,

stop, stop, stop. But he's just gone. He is furiously trying to smash this music box up. Presumably none of you are doing anything. Stop that, man. It's my favourite song. I guess I'm just like looking to Nurse Wilkes. Nurse, what happens when they do this? I'm learning here, I'm learning.

Just wait. Okay. The door at the end of the day room, so this one here, swings open. And another woman, another nurse, stands there. She is terrifying. She has an incredibly dominating presence. She has a face like stone with a mouth that just twists down and an aura of hatred that you can just feel. She's tall, she's solid, she carries herself very upright and she has a grey hair pulled back tightly in a bun, a starched black uniform, and she walks into the room. There's a heavy leather belt around

her midriff with several keys, several iron keys, a few, something that looks crystalline, and a heavy like kosh hanging from her belt. And she walks into her room with her arms behind her back. And as the doors open, you can see all the patients near this man shrink away and just literally retreat from this side of the room backwards. The man doesn't seem to have noticed her enter yet. And as she kind of looks around the room, looks at all of you and looks at this young man who's having this moment. As you see her step into the room, you notice that she is flanked by two colossal men. They are huge. They have big, broad forearms and hairy, really, really hairy. And they have rather vicious grins on their face. Like they're taking glee in this scene and they look like they're enjoying what's about to happen

and they flank either side of her just behind her. She walks into the room and after taking a look at you, she looks at this man. Wilfred, you know I at you. She looks at this man. Wilfred, you know I warned you. That was your last chance. And as this man turns around to see her, he

visibly blanches. He goes white. Is there anything you want to do? I'm taken aback by these big bloody men. Flisk, I think we might be needed as guards. Okay. Is there anything that we can assist

with, ma'am? Who are you and what are you doing in my asylum? Flisk, ma'am. Guard duty here. New, are you? Yes. And you? Oh, I'm a scold. Part of the new guard, too. Then observe. What is it that you do to punish the patients here? She gives you a brief little smile. That is not quite for you to know yet. This is your first day here after all. Brothers Grimm and Brothers Glum here will escort and restrain Wilfred.

But then you're not going to be a problem, are you? And she directs this to the young man. I warned you what would happen after the last time. I warned you that you got off lightly. You know where you're going now. And the two men clamp a hand on either of his arms. And you can see the fight has just gone out of him. He's not resisting.

He's crying. He's so scared. He's crying. He's crying. He's so scared, he's crying. And he just goes limp between these two men who gleefully just hold him and restrain him and start dragging him out of the door. If you are to encounter violent patients

such as Wilfred here, call for one of the more senior guards. Restrain them in the meantime. Can you let me know how I would recognize a more senior guard? So you can see Grim and Glum are wearing these uniforms.

They have several stripes on their sleeve. They have three on each sleeve. The stripes on their sleeve. Okay. They have three on each sleeve. The stripes denote seniority. They are the most trustworthy guards here. We run a tight ship here. No one steps out of line. Happy to be part of the team, nurse.

I am Head Nurse Ratched. I am the right hand of Warden Faust. We were told to come and see you, so... How fortuitous. A moment, and she addresses the room. You all know what happens if you misbehave. Wilfred was given several warnings. He got what is coming to him. Do not disobey the rules. Do not cause a disturbance. Or you know what will happen to you. You two. And I presume these two are

new? Yes. Pleased to meet your acquaintance. I'm Mr. Sized. And this is my son. Hey. You are a woman and you will take that ridiculous moustache off. How dare you? Who are you to say? I am the head nurse and I can see through your pathetic disguise. I'm gonna walk away sobbing, peeling off the moustache and throwing it on the floor in a huff.

But you take it off? Yeah. Good boy. I do take it off. Amazing, such quick rehabilitation. I can see why you're the head nurse. A firm hand helps troubled minds. You two.

These two need to be put into their appropriate outfits. Follow me to the storage room. Okay. You will also need to relieve put into their appropriate outfits. Follow me to the storage room. Okay. You will also need to relieve them of their possessions. All possessions? All possessions. I see. So, Grim and Glum have already disappeared somewhere.

You walk out. She walks out with one final look and down this corridor here and stops outside of this room. Yeah. Healthily labelled storage. Yeah. Where do we see the two guys cutting off? You probably see the tail end of them going up the stairs. And you can hear Wilfred sobbing.

How dare she? Well, Flisk, you take the possessions of Mrs. Sized. I'll get the possessions of Medium Sized. And I'll get the possessions of Fair Strout. I've already got some of fair strap. Crap, okay. You can have all my, first me. Just tell me what you got. You have to find it.

I roll investigation. Mess kits, rations. I resist. Adventurous stuff. But the weapons are the hand axes and the javelin. Daggers? No daggers? No daggers, no. You're going to have to really...

I've hidden lots of bad knives and things. I'm rolling investigation to get all of the possessions that he is resisting. Is this in the corridor behind Nurse Ratched? Yes. Well, I'm trying to get all of his possessions off her, but she's resisting. I've got a sleight of hand 20.

I just keep moving around the thing. It's in my inner thigh. I rolled 11 on investigation. Nurse Ratched turns around at the corridor, and I guess she sees you two. I guess you're getting things off of there

oh no no and then she also sees uh Skald Skald trying to frisk down sized

but not really I guess you're being quite difficult yes I guess where her hand goes she's like turning around and like, ooh! Not there.

Is there a problem here? No, not at all. Could you get those two other men to frisk me? They are busy. Hand over your possessions. You may keep one personal item, that is all. No fun. I peel off a moustache from my inner thigh.

Thank you. Fine. Is this your possession you want to keep? No, you can have that. Well, thank you. You can't keep the axes, I'm sorry. Gordon! Jason! With eyes.

It's like on the floor, like falling. On the floor, are you having a proper tantrum? No. No. Is there a tantrum? No. No. Is there a problem here? No. I believe that the axes have names, so I think that there's quite a personal attachment there.

I'm sorry, it's so hard to let go. Control yourself, child. I am strong. So strong. But also insane. Nurse Ratched opens the door. Just made that cut in. And inside you see a simple small room lined with shelves that contain both guard uniforms,

similar to the ones that you see with on Grimm and Glum with no stripes on their sleeve and you also see patient uniforms similar to those that patients are wearing in the day room. There is also another door on the other side here that is currently locked you see Nurse Ratched go up to it, unlock it with a key from her belt. Patient possessions go in here. Make sure you mark their drawer appropriately. There's nothing worse than patients getting their possessions messed up.

And then she waits by the main door. Hurry, I do not have much time for this. So where's the God stuff she points she so as she as she kind of shows you yeah she points like you know this is the guard uniform this is the patient uniform put stuff here well this one here the medium-sized has a lot of stuff on her it'll take a while to get it all logged I want solutions, not complaints. Oh no, I'm just saying, if you're short on time,

we can deal with this. We're good guards. Real good guards. As she's staring at you, probably thinking about what to do with you, Tranquility runs up in the corridor. She's like, oh, I heard

you wanted me, Nurse Ratched. Was there something I was meant to do? And she's like, oh, I heard you wanted me, Nurse Ratched. Was there something I was meant to do? And she's like, ah, tranquility. And then she begins having a conversation with tranquility. You're listening and it seems to be about laundry shifts and stuff getting messed up. And basically she's stalling out menial duties for tranquility to do. Which leaves you with a possible opportunity.

Okay. To do what you want. So the guard's clothes that are there right now, are there any three stripers? Nope. Dammit. You earned those, Thomas. I know, but I was just hoping they might have been in there.

Wait, are they just, are they stripes that are just in the universe? It's just a black stripe that's sewn on. Sewn on. What are you looking for, dearie? My guard clothes. They're right there. Look.

Put them on. I don't think that any of this stuff is small enough for you to... No. But it's okay, though've i've got i've got fire okay i forget that as well as getting dressed into your new outfits there's also this room here that you need to be putting um their into as well. Okay. Can I go into that? Can I see if there's any... Like, are there patient names on the drawers? There's initials, yeah. Initials? Okay. Interesting. Okay, well I'll walk in with like, into that room with like a handful of medium-sized

room with like a handful of medium sized stuff um oh you know what size eyeballing me a lot and i will just throw that into a box and then start looking for a box labeled fb you see one okay can i close the door behind me as well is there a door on this room yes okay i'll close it Okay, I close it. Okay. Okay, and I want to have a look in FB. Mm-hmm. There is nothing in the drawer.

Okay. Is there an MB? No. Damn. My investigation's run dry. I'm going home. Bet you signed a contract, Thomas. You may never leave. I'm a guard now.

You're here forever and ever and ever. Anyway, what the rest of you doing? I'm stripping. Just the butt naked. I'm wearing a bra, but my boobs are down to my knees The bra is not doing anything It's not doing anything Oh Mr Inspector

I've got a lot for you to inspect Fliss can you deal with that one Nope Knocking on the door It's closed Did you come back out No Come on Is she still talking

to tranquility she keeps giving glances over the corner of her okay over her shoulder in the corner of her eye over her shoulder but yeah she's still talking with tranquility she's she's scolding her about something now like telling her off oh yeah tard, that kind of thing. Crap, what was the name of the guy that just got taken? Wilfred. Did Tranquility said that she was going to get us a list of the people who had been missing?

Did she give us that before we made way? No. Yeah, okay. And you'd probably guess that given the time that she left and all that, she probably hasn't had much time especially, it sounds like there's a lot of duties that she has to do at the moment. Okay. Are there any of the drawers, are they all quite full

or are there like maybe ten drawers that are empty or anything like that? So are you going to start pulling things out or like just... I just want to like try and kind of have a bit of a nosy but... So you notice that there are a couple that are empty. Okay. Ones that are empty, can I just voice record the initials of each one? Sure. FB.

PD. So there'll be an F-B. F-B. W-S. W-S. S. W-S. S.

P-T. S-P-T? No, S and then a P-T. What? Just one S? One S. On its own? What a weird thing.

P-T. Mm-hmm. A-T AA Aaron Anderson and then there's just like various empty ones that you think were for new patients

who come in okay okay I'm gonna while he's in there I'm gonna go back I'm gonna go out because I don't

I wanna make keep an eye on her while he's recording there. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go out because I don't I want to make keep an eye on her well, he's recording things like a weirdo And get my guardian form and then I want to keep an eye out for when she stops talking to try and cruelty and then I'd like to approach their tragic. Have you been completely stripped of your equipment? So anything sharp and pointy it's kind of thing, all that stuff. Yeah. What about you?

I'm just in my undies waiting for the inspector to address me. So I'm guessing you have no weapons or anything like that. Okay, and do you store her stuff there? Do you put it away in the possessions room? Yes, but I keep the halberd. Do you have another weapon as well? Me? Yeah.

I've just got some daggers. You've got daggers and then you've got this halberd on your back as well. Yeah. Nice. Carry on. Oh, not nice. Mr. Scald.

Wait, I do have to go in. I've got daggers and a rapier. I'm getting to go. I need some assistance. I've got daggers and a rapier. I'm getting very chilly. You need to put my clothes on. I can't reach around. I'm not leaving that room. So you're in the possessions room. I'm still in the possessions room.

Are you still looking at things? I mean, I guess I've... So, so wilfred is there anyone that just starts with w um there was a ws that was empty but is there another w yes can i look into that one so you find um a couple of sets of clothes man's clothes um a little painting of what looks like Wilfred and a wife, a woman. And you also find a short brown pipe. I'd like to pocket the pipe. Okay. Sure.

You're going to take it? Yes. I mean, it's fine if you want to steal from a patient. That's fine. I could use it. Not to smoke with, I mean to. He says as he lights up his own fire. I open my pocket and crush a load of rolled cigarettes with it.

I need it. I don't need it to smoke. Ulterior motives. You're talking to yourself. I pick up a pipe. What's your arcana like? Oh, it's plus four. Okay.

My intelligence is plus three. Make an arcana roll. Whoop. So that's an eight. Yeah, it's a really... It looks slightly unusual. It doesn't look like a normal pipe. It looks like it's been lovingly crafted out of

a kind of rich wood that you've never really seen before. There's a couple of engravings in the side. What you think looks like little creatures. Loot. Nice nice mark it down magic pipe belong to Wilfred what's the last name on that I guess I've just got an initial P Wilfred P WP gotcha I'm so investigating

I'm doing my job so have you been taking anything sharp and pointy weapony has it all been taken I've never had you never had anything sharp and weapony are you quite done in there? Oh, I do have an orb. It's not sharp and pointy though. So technically. You

could pass it as a personal possession. Yeah. Okay. It's a glass orb. Quick question. You said to the patients that they all know what's coming if they misbehave, but as a guard, we still don't know what that is. Is there anything that we can... Just so that we can communicate with them. For now, you restrain anyone that is being difficult. And she looks over and is incised. I think that one would enjoy it. Mr. Scald!

Then call for support. Guards, then, will take them up to solitary, which is on the third floor. Okay. You must then report this to either myself or Warden Faust. Warden Faust, I don't think we've met him yet. No, and it is unlikely you will do. He keeps to his own schedule. How would we report to him if you were not around?

You may knock on his office door. Where is his office? Second floor. Okay, thank you. Thank you very much. Yes? What? You were looking at me. I'm still in the other room.

Oh, okay, fine then. Stay there. Where is the other one? Okay, now that I've heard that, I'll open the door. Weird, this door just closed behind me. We should probably check that out. Oh, there you are.

Oh, God. You still haven't put my clothes on yet, Mr. Scrooge? Where are the patient's clothes? Oh, here they are. Okay. Here you go, medium-sized. Well, I just got very bad arthritis and I can't reach. Do hurry.

I have other duties to attend to. Slip it on. Okay. Here you go. Medium. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah. Oh, I feel a bit unstable. No, no, stand still, please.

I'm going to hold on to you for support. Oh, it's like a pendulum. What? Like pendulums. You're just rocking back and forth. Are you quite done? Never. Never.

Do the patients have individual rooms? Follow me. Yes, ma'am. And she walks out. As she walks out, she heads up to the staircase up there. And are you following? I suppose so. Second floor. Bam.

Wow! Look at this. Where are these burly men, Miss Nurse? That is none of your business. They could be. It's been a long time. Are you normally this talkative? Absolutely. My job is a medium, so I speak a lot. Would you like me to read your fortune?

No. Bitch. I'm glad you're saying that. Very quietly. Bitch. Oh, shit. As you say that, she rounds on you. very quietly bitch oh shit as you say that she rounds on you

like so previously she's walking forward like that she spins you imagine old lady what did you say I called you a beautiful lady

patience must know their place and with that She takes from her belt A hard wooden stick with a crystal on the end Oh god, I'm going to get spanked And jams it into your ribcage What?

Would you please make me, mister? Oh my god Oh wait, no, he has no say So, still a roll Just happens Oh, wait, no, he has no say. So, still a roll. It just happens. Let me just find my dice. Just find my dice.

Which ones do you want, the detents? As she jams it into your ribcage, you feel this burning, crackling sensation as lightning pours into your body and shocks you. You take seven points of diamond. You brute! You saw it!

She hurt me! You called me a profanity. That is not allowed here. She's not wrong. Son, stay out of this. Do you want more? Of course I don't, you brute. Sorry, is that another bad B word? You would be advised to shut up.

Why? You're probably on the floor just... Still vibrating with lightning crackles at this point. Wow. Sort her out. Right away. Sort her out. I'm... Yeah, me? Okay. Yes.

Where do you want me to take her? We are going to the dormitories. I will assign you your bunks. And so she carries on her way. So she walks up, so probably up the stairs at this point. Let's say that probably happened around here. She takes a right and walks into what you see is a very large room. Where the hell are my notes?

As we're walking up the stairs, so there's another floor above this one. So while we're still on the staircase, can I just like look up and listen and see if I can hear anything from the solitary? Roll me a perception check. Perception check. 18. So, yeah, so this staircase does, in fact, carry on upwards as well. And you can hear two things. You hear the sound of someone crying, a woman crying. And you also hear the sound, and this is a very, very faint sound,

but you hear the sound of two people stepping, like just stepping in line, and then a... And that's all. Does the crying continue after that? The female, the woman crying does. Carry on. Okay.

So you come to the dormitories and you see a large room with several beds in it. They're very cheap, thin looking beds. There are a couple of inmates, probably the one you didn't see them downstairs. So they're probably the ones that they mentioned that were not accounted for. Each bed has a small chest at the foot of it. It's a very joyless room. It's painted white, or it was once, but it's sort of all crumbly and a bit in disrepair right now. Again, it's very gloomily lit.

There's no decoration in terms of anything like paintings or pot plants or anything like that. It's a very empty room. The patients who are in there are very, very quiet. And you notice, so when you came into the asylum, you noticed that it was cold on the ground floor, but it's definitely colder up here. Your breath visibly steams in front of you and you have goosebumps all up and down your arms. And you notice that the patients that are in there are wrapping themselves in what little blankets that they have from their beds and they are kind of quietly huddled together.

The nurse ratchet points at two empty beds. These will be yours. You are allowed to put whatever personal possessions, your one personal possessions, in the chest at the end. You will also be assigned further linens and blankets that can be stored there also. Showers are at the end of the corridor. If you make a disturbance, the guard rooms are next door and they will tend to you. Is that understood?

Yes. Excellent. Solitary is upstairs upstairs as are my rooms Do not go up there unwarranted Understood? Yes How many patients are in solitary?

Why do you ask? I'm just curious so that I know how many people do I need to watch. At the moment, there is one. Okay. Thank you. Since you arrived late,

you missed dinner, I suggest you settle down now. Your quarters are at the end of the corridor on the left. You will meet other guards there that will settle you in. Right away, ma'am. I will not be having any further problems, will I? I don't know. See that I don't.

And with that, she walks out. What a wicked woman. Assaulting an old lady. How could she? How did you not defend your dad, mother? I don't know anymore. I've seen many scary things in my time. She's terrifying!

I know. Let's get rid of her. Yeah. Snuff her out. Yes. Let's butcher her. Yes. Yes. I think they'll get nobody. That wicked woman needs a lesson. She can't go treating the patients like that.

Yeah, but if we don't find out what's going on here before we teach her a lesson then we're not gonna get paid. I see what's going on here before we teach her a lesson then we're not gonna get paid i see what's going on here we don't need to be psychic to know even though it helps she's killing them she's the one that's taking them away it's obvious kit why she attacked me from saying you did call her a yeah you think that was warranted assault? Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Really? I've punished a person for less, yeah. You're barbaric.

I wouldn't do that. I'm a kind, gentle, loving woman. Well, you've got your possessions. The chests are at the end of the bed. Yes, where will you be sleeping? Well, we're guards now, aren't we? Yep. We should go and see who the other guards are. But everyone's possessions go into the end of those beds.

Were you listening slightly? Like at all? Ever? Clearly no now everyone's possessions you're good i'm good jerry's fine yay with an eye you want me to ruffle through sorry with an eye if you're going to spend the night here yes yes is there anyone else in here so there's a couple of patients in here um who were already in here when you arrived. But you notice actually as you guys are conversing that more of the patients from the day room are slowly coming up and going to their beds. Are there any other guards here?

There is one guard just standing in the corner. He just doesn't really seem that interested. He's just watching around, making sure no one's causing any trouble. How many stripes? Two. Two. And many stripes? Two. Two, and we've got one. Two, two, two, two. And we've got one in our uniforms.

You've got nothing at the moment. Nothing? Mm-mm. Well, that's a step up. Can I go talk to that guard? Yes, you may. He is a half-orc man. Ah.

And he's queer, just like, he's been here for a while, you think, he's just looking at everything like, yeah, whatever. Hey, we're part of the new guard here. Uh, so you got two stripes, how long you been here? Doing the old grind. Oh mate, feels like forever, but I've been here about maybe two years? Two years, two stripes. Yeah. Damn. Feels a lot longer though, it's quite boring here.

You alright mate? Oh, I'm uh, I'm good. Just a garden. I'm not a garden, I am guarding. Oh you're a funny one aren't you mate? That wasn't a joke, I am guarding. Oh, you're a funny one, aren't you, mate? That wasn't a joke. I never tell jokes. Well, you're not gonna last long here

if you don't have a sense of humor. We'll see. Uh-huh. Hey, so what sort of access do nose stripes get me? Well, pretty much you're allowed most places. You're not allowed upstairs, really, to solitary. That's where the more experienced guards come in, right? The ones who've been here the longest.

The ones they can trust, yeah? Right. They're the ones who get to have all the fun. It's not fair. Oh, well. Maybe I'll get my third stripe next year, mate. Hopefully. What kind of fun are you thinking?

Oh, a little bit of slap and tickle you um you mean slapping and what what do you what you get to shove patience around a little bit in it and tickle them yeah you didn't mean like okay uh and that's what they do up up on the third that's what we call it here that's what i said up on the third. That's what we call it here. That's what I said, mate. You hard of hearing? Nope. No.

Hear you loud and clear. Mate, you need to loosen up, yeah? We're a pretty tight-knit crew, the guards. So you're just going to need to loosen up a bit. You're going to come in with this hard-ass, like, war, I'm a guard business. You're not going to make any friends here. And the years, they're going to seem even longer.

Right. Okay. Just a word between you and me, for free, since you're new here. Well, in that case, knock knock. Alright, who's there? I don't really know how this joke structure goes. I really don't know who this joke structure goes to. What do you mean? That's how the joke goes, mate. I'm so relaxed. Thank you.

Who's your new friend, mate? The redhead one. Oh, that's Flisk. Flisk. Hey, Flisk, come over here. It's one of the old guard. I've been listening to him

this whole time G'day name's Hardy what's up you look like you enjoy a little bit of fun sure is there any

way to get any food we missed dinner ah sure go down to the guard quarters they're down the end of the corridor to the left. Yeah, old Tabitha will sort you out, we got some snacks going on. Nice little shower, pep you right up. Thanks, so two stripes, huh? Two stripes?

Yeah, it's more a time thing than anything else, I guess they just want to know that they can trust you. So it's not something that just gets given out. Damn. Higher pay? Probably. I mean, okay. Probably? Speaking of pay, when do we get that?

End of the week, mate. I want it now. It seems like we've done? End of the week, mate. I don't want it now. Seems like we've done a lot of work. We brought in two pretty good ones today. She thought there was some kind of commission. Yeah, I wish. I think there should be. Because- That would be a good idea, wouldn't it, mate? Yeah. Yeah.

Could suggest it to the higher ups, maybe. It would mean there's more guards and then there's more competition and then like, yeah. but then it means there's more patience to push around here watch this and you see as he says that there's a young uh girl trying to go into the shower room that's kind of so he's in the corners just by the shower and he just sticks his foot out the last second and she trips over it much hilarity ensues oh good one! You don't want to be so clumsy, eh? Ha ha ha. Ha.

Good. What? Oh, it's funny. I would do the same if I were you. Look, it's boring around here. You've got to make your own entertainment. Mm-hmm. While this is all going on, can I use it as a distraction? Son.

Let's do it. Son, I think we have to do some inspecting. Yes. You do what you do best and make sure nobody tries to stop me. I'm going to do something naughty. You saw what Ratchet did, right? Yeah, but while they're not looking, while Mr. Skull and Fear is... Okay.

Keeping the guard distracted, I'm going to look in the possession boxes. Okay. I'll just... Keep an eye out, I guess. Okay. I'm going to go the furthest one away from the guard first and just look around and then...

Okay. You go through... So the person whose bed it is isn't there. You start going through it. There's really nothing much, just clothes, the same sort of uniform, a few pieces of paper that are clearly just letters to home, haven't been sent yet.

Nothing interesting. Useless. Next. Anything yet? Not yet, no. Okay, good. Oh, I feel such a thrill. It's like I did back in the 30s

when I got taken up in a tree. You weren't... Anyway. I think that's how you were conceived. Anyway. Makes sense. I do like trees. Makes sense.

Anyway. Anyway. I love trees. That must be why. What's in the next one? In the next one, roll me a perception check. Okay.

Bye-bye bye Ria it doesn't take me long 15 15 so as you're kind of pushing away some of the linen and the clothing

that's in there you notice that there's sort of a little crack around one of the floorboards not the floorboards the baseboard of the chest.

Something. I'm going to try and pry it a little bit. Mm-hmm. See if there's anything. What kind of check would that be? I don't have a player's sheet. Let's say... Well, maybe investigation.

Is it for trying to hide it or is it... To try and open it, probably investigation. Do that or, yeah. Yeah. Slight of hand or whatever, really. Animal handling. Animal handling. What shall I do?

Investigation? Investigation. 19. Okay. So as you kind of, you feel there's a little catch and you start trying to pull it up and you feel that there was something that could have, like a mechanism

that could have gone off but you manage to kind of catch it just in time and lift it ever so gently so that the mechanism doesn't go off when you open it up inside you find something quite unusual actually. It looks like an iron key and it's quite beautifully wrought

like all twisted iron with glyphs written into it and at the end of it is a small white crystal, a quartz crystal, at the end of it. I'm slipping that into my bra by my knee. Stealthily. I found something. Okay. Okay! Okay!

Bless you! Cool. I guess I'll, like... Bless you! Thank you! Do you think we I'll, like... Bless you! Thank you! Do you think we've got time for another one? So, um... The patients around here...

Any of them get... I don't know what happens to them when they go upstairs. We saw someone being taken upstairs. Yeah. It was Wilfred. Yeah. Oh, Wilfred. Yeah.

Oh, shit, mate. Yep. We're not probably going to see him forever again. Oh, Wilfred. Yeah. Oh, shit, mate. Yep, we're not probably going to see him forever again. Oh, well. Ever again. Do they kill them up there? Oh, I don't know that they kill them. They just, I don't really know, to be honest. So mostly, you know, the difficult ones get sent up to solitary.

A little bit of a time out, you know. And, yeah, we get to, like, throw water on them and stuff like that. It's great. But yeah, every now and again with the troublesome ones, they get sent somewhere else. He looks around. They call it the theatre. I don't know where it is, mate. Probably of the mind. Doesn't look like this place is big enough to have a theatre. Is there, like, maybe another... Maybe it's a different building or something? I don't know. I've never seen anything else out here. And, yeah, when we get leave, we just go into that village, you know,

the only one out there. I don't know. That's all I've heard. And I've just heard that, you know, on the grapevine. They don't tell me nothing. Right. Even with two stripes? No. It's the three stripers, mate.

Three striper. That's the dream. That is some dream, mate. I hear you get extra cabbage with your gruel with that. Oh, and I do love gruel. So how often do patients have to go to solitary? How often do they misbehave? Because that was quite an episode, really.

That's how fighty they're being, really. To be honest, Nurse Ratched seems to be anyone who catches her eye, looks at her wrong, and, well, on the rare occasion, we get Warden Faust. He, uh, yeah. He sometimes looks at someone. Now that you ask me about it, sometimes he just looks at someone and then that's it within the week.

Poof. I haven't really thought about it, to be honest. But you've met him, though. Yeah, scary little bugger. Saw the portrait, really, really big portrait. It's a bit terrifying, yeah. Yeah, to be honest, I don't really... I kind of try and stay out of his way.

He's a bit scary, yeah. Well, I guess we kind of want to stay out of his way as well. What sort of thing would get him to come out of his office? Well, he's on the same level. You probably walk past it. He likes to be near the patients. You know, he considers them his children. Right.

He likes to be nearby to keep an eye on them or something. I don't know. But, yeah, he's got a big, buggery office next door. Actually, now I think of it, it's next door to the guard ward as well. Creepy. Not a lot of time to think in two years. I mean, he's a lich, mate. You don't want to fuck with a lich.

No. No, not me. I just want a nice, quiet life. I get me a bit of gold. I get me gruel That's it All the patience I can push around And your extra cabbage too

Exactly You any good at card games? Depends what you're thinking It's what we do to pass the time isn't it? Pretty good at go fish Nice Well maybe we're gonna have a round later on today in the in the garden house God Ward that one quarters yeah how many guards are they here at the moment there's me there's tabby I

don't call it that though she'll punch you uh the grim and love or scary buggers. Probably about 10 of us. 10 of you, okay. And is there some sort of night shift in this place or? Yeah I'm on it. Right, makes sense. Observe, I'm guarding. You're doing a great job. I know right. So how many three stripes are there? Oh, there's probably about, like, three. Three, three stripes.

Okay. I guess Grim and Glum or whatever they are. Oh, yeah. Word of the wise, mate. Don't fuck with them. Won't fuck with them. Who's the other one? Oh, I've never seen her around, actually. She's normally up in solitary. Right.

She's called Angela. Okay. Are you done, mate? I've got some cold water to turn on. Cold water? Yeah, so there's a tap around here if you fuck with it a little bit takes all the hot water away patients only have cold showers hilarious i was gonna say it's very cold up here yeah i noticed that recently

just recently that's the thing yeah Yeah. Yeah. Didn't think about it. Hmm. Okay. Well, I'm going to go get some food. I don't know if you want to get some food but I'm going to go and check out

the guard quarters. You know, make myself at home. Okay. Well, I'm going to make sure the two new visitors are in the right place

and I guess I'll walk down towards medium sized and beer stabble. How many more chests do we get to look at? Beer stabble. And I guess I'll walk down towards medium-sized. And beer stabble. How many more chests do we get to look at in that little conversation? I would say probably a couple more. But it's kind of hard because there are other patients, like more of the patients are filtering in and going to bed. Okay. you go through another chest and where the fuck am I?

I'm here a second ago. Ah, there they are. You find a chest, um, that contains a couple of simple dresses a hairbrush um what looks to be a writing set uh and a pen that it looks quite fancy actually it's not a quill it's a pen um and it's a dark blue uh kind of almost like a crystalline outer of the body. And yeah, it looks like a beautiful pen. Stuff that. And there's also a couple of books in the... What do they say? They're just storybooks, fairy tales, that sort of thing.

I'm just going to look at the inside first page. Anything written on it? Anything suspicious? Nothing. I've got a pen. Nice. Let's practice your writing. Oh, yeah. That's about it.

Okay. I feel like a thief. Proper thief. Nice. Nice job. Thank you. I think the other patients are starting to catch on. Yeah, well, let's keep a low profile for now.

I'm going to hunch over a bit more. Yeah, me too. So you notice... So the room is now full, pretty much, of everyone. And everyone actually hasn't gotten into their beds or anything like that. They're either getting ready for bed. But most of them stand beside their their little cots um and they always seem to be waiting for something are you still standing near hardy uh so i was uh heading back down to where you're heading back

down towards these guys so as you're walking back down um a tall forbidding figure walks into the room. He is dressed in a stiff white robe that covers his whole body. But you see his face, and it is a skeletal face. It is bone grey, as in it literally is the bone. There's no skin on it. It is a dark grey. And he has two piercing blue pinpoints of light in each socket. Socket? Socket. He's a skeleton.

Well, it's a very gaunt face. It's a lich. It's the warden. It's the lich. It's the warden. What's the warden doing? He walks into the room. And behind him you can see Head Nurse Ratched and then Grim and Glum by the side of the doorway,

and they kind of take up positions by the doorway as well. And he walks into the room, and all the patients kind of stand behind their beds, and they've got their heads down like that, and he kind of looks around the room and takes everyone. He sees you two, and he goes, ah. And looks at you two and he goes, ah. He looks at you two and he's like, hmm. Dear children, another night has come upon us, a come upon this sacred place.

Remember why you are all here. You are sick. Your families cast you out into my care, into my family. It is with the love and care of myself and Nurse Ratched and her team that you will be well again. Be thankful for the food you eat, the clothes you wear and the warm beds you sleep in at night. the clothes you wear, and the warm beds you sleep in at night. For if you were not here, you would be cast out onto the streets by those who claim to love you. Know that I love you.

I love you like my children. Remember. Remember our motto. Strength through sacrifice. You may now sleep. strength through sacrifice. You may now sleep. Um, I guess just... Like, could I...

If I'm stood next to, um... a medium-sized, could I almost, like, um... nudge her and very... almost loudly say, You're going to need to listen to the warden when he's speaking. The warden looks over,

but as he looks over, he kind of, his look goes past you for a second, and his gaze seems to settle on a half-elf man in the corner of the room who's just sort of, you know, trying to get ready for bed and stuff like that. And he takes a second and he just leans over to Nurse Ratched and whispers in her ear and gestures with his head, just gestures at this man. And then he comes over. Ah, dear child, you appear to be new here. It's been such a long time since I've been called a child.

Of course, age is eternal. It is but a number. I've forgotten mine. Something around the 60 mark. When you have lived as many years and as many centuries as I do, it does not matter. You are most certainly a child to me. Well, thank you. I'm blushing. And why have you been sent here? Well, people think I'm Ma, but really I just tell people's fortunes. It is a cruel world out there, isn't it?

Don't worry, my dear. You are safe here now. I will look after you, for you are now one of my family. And as he kind of leans towards you, you can feel this cold just emanating off of him. It just radiates cold around him. You wouldn't happen to have any spare blankets, would you? You're catching quite the chill. Blankets? Ah, I believe the nurses will be able to get you one, or one of the guards, or perhaps ask one of the patients. I'm afraid it is not quite my speciality.

Okay, thank you. And yourself, how are you finding things here? Very nice, thank you. And yourself. How are you finding things here? Very nice, thank you. You are a strong young man. Yes. I try to be. I lost my father in the war. Oh, there, there, child.

Where are you? No time for tears. And he actually kind of strokes, reaches out with his hand and gently strokes your face. And it feels, it's freezing. You instantly start shivering. There you go. No more tears. No more sadness.

Okay. Cool. Tell me, dragonborn are you? Yeah. What kind? Fire. Fire? Yeah. How interesting.

Yes, I shall keep a close eye on you. Me too. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Thank you. It's a smile. And remember, strength through sacrifice. Yes, I will be strong. Sacrifice? Smile. And remember, strength through sacrifice. Yes, I will be strong.

Sacrifice? If that is all. Oh, warden, I wanted to apologize for interrupting the speech. This one wasn't listening, and I recognize superiority when I see it. That is fine. And you are? Well, I'm a guard now. Scold, you can call me.

Welcome to the family. Happy to be a part of it. And yourself, my dear? Flisk, sir. Part of the guard. Today. Interesting. Be firm, but be kind.

This is all one big happy family. Mm-hmm. If you need anything, I will be in my office. I am always close by. Quick query, if you will. Your motto sends a little shiver down one's old spine. What does sacrifice mean? Well, we all have to work hard, don't we? To improve ourselves, to better ourselves.

Which is sacrificing energy? Oh, it could be anything. Which is sacrificing energy? Oh, it could be anything. Hard work. Learning. Knowledge. You're sacrificing knowledge?

No. You sacrifice your time and your energy to gain knowledge. Oh. Yes. I understand. Thank you. Yes. I'm sure you will Mmm

A little insight check? A little insight check, yeah, 28 Just a 28 then Yeah, he's not telling you loads of stuff Why would he? He's the warden You're new here, he doesn't know who you are I know, but he's sinister as fuck. And that is very much the vibe you are getting off of him.

Okay. So what do you know of liches? They are... Well, would you know this? You're quite intelligent, I imagine. 16. Plus 3. So you would know that liches are wizards who make unholy pacts and essentially give their souls away in return for immortal life. And they part with their physical soul and bind it in an artifact and then they drink

potions that take the life from them. But because of the pact that they've made, they are immortal. So it's a sense... When he says that he's been around for a long time, you believe him. He has definitely been around for a long time. Yes, he is very sinister. And he does seem, in his crazy way, to be genuine about this whole idea

that everyone in this asylum is in his family and he is interested in people. And you sense a kind of thrill of joy when he talks about knowledge and sacrifice and learning. Mm-hmm. But he seemed genuine when he was saying treat everyone with care and kindness. Firm but fair. Firm but fair and kindness firm but fair firm but fair firm but fair and he was very interested in bear

and the half elf in the corner in the corner. He turns and he leaves the room. The half elf in the corner is... What are they doing? Are they doing anything? He's just still getting ready.

No, nothing's happening. No. And that is where we are going to end things. Oh, man. Okay. Ooh, mama. Ooh, mama.

It's a spoop-lich. It's spoopy. It's spoop-lich. It's a mega spoop. Oh, spoopy. A mega spoop-lich. Good job, mama. Oh, mama. It's a spook-lich. Spoopy. A spook-lich. A mega spook. A mega spook-lich. Good job, Kim. Very good. How was that?

Was that all right? Very good. Enjoying yourselves? Atmospheric. Owning it. I mean, enjoying. I'm scared. Good.

I'm terrified. You should be. You should be. Hey, thanks for listening to this spooky one shot run by Kim She's done a fantastic job So let her know what you thought on our Twitter At High Rollers D&D On our Reddit in YouTube comments

Or hey in the reviews for this podcast Also make sure you check out D&D Beyond and CritIt.co.uk And check out their Animal Companions Kickstarter With the links in the description We'll be back on Monday for episode 2 of this one shot story We'll be back on Monday for episode two of this one-shot story. We'll see you then.