High Rollers DnD - High Rollers: Rogue's Gambit #10 | Into the Vault

Episode Date: November 23, 2018

The team meet an old "friend" and Bertie reveals a pretty big secret! Check out Idle Champions here - https://bit.ly/2MJSdYy - to earn us those valuable D6s... we need all the help we can get. All you need to do is play the game! We're playing the brand new Waterdeep: Dragon Heist module! More information here: https://bit.ly/2JdEX8M Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Hello, welcome back to High Rollers. Welcome back to the penultimate episode of A Rogue's Gambit, sponsored by Idol Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Next week is the final episode of the series, so please play Idol Champions to earn us some dice for an explosive finale. Things are starting to get pretty intense as the team meet an old friend and Bertie reveals a pretty big secret.

So, let's jump into the episode. Let's play A Rogue's Gambit. Welcome, friends. I am your Dungeon Master, Mark Sherlock-Humes. Joining me, we have Chris Trott, he of no iPad nor dice. Call out again. Kim Richards, she of cool new haircut. Tom Hazel, he of being scammed by delivery. And the lovely and wonderful Rhiannon, she of Starbucks coffee. Yay!

Welcome, friends. Welcome Welcome back Rhiannon Hello Katie's away in Scotland So we asked Rhiannon To jump in and play And resume her role As Zip lock

Zip lock Snakebind Snakebind There's more of that to come Oh dear So Having escaped From the clutches

Of Jarl Axel Banre And his drow crew Aboard the Seed Maiden's Fair The party Tried to figure out a way To locate the missing Stone of Jarl Axel Banre and his drow crew aboard the Seedmaiden's Fair, the party tried to figure out a way to locate the missing Stone of Galore and a vault where a fortune in gold dragons is located. During your capture, Boomer, the goblin vigilante, overheard Jarl Axel mention an old windmill and something about a painter, so the party began an investigation around the city of Waterdeep to try and locate it.

Fleur, our tiefling gunslinger, Boomer, and Aquamumber, the halfling, bard rogue... Monk? I had to remember. All managed to make some progress, whilst Bertie, our goliath boxer, engorged himself on food and drink in the yawning portal to a great regret.

Oh, yeah. As part of the investigations aqua mumba met a strange wizard who offered to use the spell locate person to track down little jar laxal uh the wizard calling himself zebzot zambadon or many some other z name that i came up with at the time uh flew around the city and tracked the drow rogue to a hotel overlooking a windmill converted into a series of apartments. You snuck in, discovered that a paranoid old female mage owned it. She

discovered Aquamumba and Zemzamzambadon, attacked, Bertie punched her in the back of the head, and then Zedzot Zindalan turned her into a frozen statue with a fifth level cone of cold. Wait, who did? Zedzot Zindelin.

Okay, cool. The party then discovered the vault beneath the windmill, but they discovered it requires three keys to open, two of which Jarlaxle has. And that is where, well, we finished the last session with Fleur looking out the window to see that a large contingent of city watch and guards have surrounded the windmill itself. Yeah, and that is where we pick up. And we begin by seeing a familiar slender female figure sneaking down the side of the windmill, letting themselves into a small window and emerging on the staircase.

As you're all kind of looking out the windows out onto this This army that's now forming as the Black Viper just appears There's so many out there One two three four five hey guys You guys are in on this there people there's gods everywhere Hey guys! What? Hi, how's it going? Oh, hey, it's Black Viper! I called for it earlier! I thought you guys were in on this! There are people... There's guards everywhere! How did you get in?

A crazy wizard with a long grey beard and very, kind of, very dirty-looking robes turns around and is like, Ah, another one! I'll freeze it! I'm cool, I'm cool! This is cool! Hey!

Hey! I like this one already! Another one I'm cool, I'm cool. This is cool. Hey! I like this one already. Hey. This is zip, zip, zip, zip it. No, that's not my name, you buffoon. Oh. Zandor Zindalan. Double Z.

Yes. How's it going? Zindalan. That's got two Zs. Zindalan? ZZ. ZZ. ZZ.

ZZ. ZZ. ZZ. ZZ. ZZ. ZZ. ZZ. Oh, yeah. It's two Zs. Idiotland? ZZ Anderland. ZZ Anderland. Oh, yeah. It's two Zs. Idiot. Double Z. He is. He really is.

Yeah. And you're thinking, so you have become aware that, yeah, this place has been surrounded by the Watch. People everywhere. But you've been,

yeah, Bertie probably sent for you at some point and you've been following the party and you know that they're close to this treasure and you want in. While I was flying around the city holding ZimZim,

I just saw Black Biker walk and like, Hey, Black Biker! We're going to the windmill! Cool. And that was... There you go. For any of you who are looking to be a DM out there, that's how you introduce a new player to the game.

You went in? Cool. Where's Flora gone? Who knows? She's gone out the other window. She's gone out the other window. They just passed each other through the window. Like, after you, after you.

Just let her out. We? I love this show. I love this show welcome to Rogue's Gambit I love this show it's been nine episodes of this oh yes

so hey uh Viper you open this thing what's that what you're gonna take

Viper down into the vault hey look we found a vault yeah oh he leads you down down the spiral center there's look, we found a vault. Yeah, but it leads you down, down the spiral center into this long corridor,

and there's this big adamantine door with dwarvish runes on it that has no way of being opened. But I'm pretty sure she's not gonna be able to open the door. We need the keys. Yeah, I can't open that. Hey, do you have the key? No, I have other keys, but not that key.

Maybe that one works. No. Maybe that one works. Nah, these are all for... What about that one? Nah, these are so I can get into other places. You sure about that one? Yeah, no, I've copied all these myself. It's fine. Don't worry. Have you tried that one? No, no,

no. Don't worry. I'm pretty sure none of these will open that. I don't have any keys. No. You don't have any keys? Jalexo has the keys! Huh? Oh. And him and a swarm of, like, authoritarian people are about to kill us. So maybe we stop worrying about the whole key situation. Maybe worry about our livelihood and our lives in general.

Not dying, mostly. How do we do that? So maybe we set up for a huge shootout in a very epic fashion. Hopefully it's in slow motion. And then we come out of this alive. Ah, I don't know about shooting all of them. They're lawmen. There's a lot of them as well.

There's a lot of them, more than I can count on my fingers. And the thing with lawmen is there tend to be more where that came from, and they get a lot more pissed off. So we need to escape. Yeah. It's like a wave assault. So while you're having this conversation,

Boomer, in your head, you get a message. Oh. I'm trying to, I have to try and count this. Hello, my little goblin friend.

Oh, shit. It seems you survived my trap. And for that, you have my congratulations. That's syllables. That's syllables. Yeah, congratulations is one word. How many did I do for that?

You did three. 16. I've done 16. 16. Congratulations. It seems you're in a bit of a pickle right now. Want some help? Jarlaxle. There should be 25 words.

You can reply with 25 words. I think that was one too many. Nah, magic. Now we don't know who sent the message. So only... Yes, you hear it in your head. It's a sending spell. So Boomer's going to look around the room

at this hand of misfits. Hello. Look at the splintered remains of the lady on the floor. Oh, yeah. So, there is just like the Terminator 2. There's like a half-frozen body that's slowly melting. Yeah. I'm going to look at how many guards are outside,

and I'm just going to go, yeah, all right. So, you just send back yeah all right is that your two words cheers mucker okay yeah all right what we're gonna do the shootout thing oh the bad guy has offered us a way out he says he can help us what well have you got any better ideas how what how I don't know is he here he's in my head okay which maybe it goes out the cut she's gone he's gone crazy but which bad guy the one that killed Burned Face Man Yeah, Burned Face Man I don't know where that guy went That's how funny you remember him

He doesn't know his name, he just knows him as Burned Face Man I don't know where that guy went I love it when Rhiannon dies It's my favourite thing No, I don't know where that fucker went The fancy fucker with the purple hat He owes me fish and chips He owes me fish and chips

Oh, he wasn't a bad guy. I like that guy. Well, he did almost kill us. Oh my god. So it's either we go the bad guy or we die with the good guys who are probably going to kill us. I mean, we can't do a shootout. I don't have any guns. Yeah. Except these things. Yeah.

Number one, number two. That's what people call guns arms. I heard him say that. They call these arms. That is a fact, Bertie. I'm so proud you remembered that. As much as I don't want to give myself up to Jalaxal, what other choice do we have? Well, that's why I already said yes.

You've already said yes. So while you're having this discussion, you see the crowd outside becomes awed, and the crowd begins parting as you see lariel silverhand like the open lord of water the lady that gave you your magic items silverhead uh regal looking woman in long robes comes out and you can see her kind of talking to the assembled like guards and things like that gestures towards the windmill and makes like a dismissive motion and then just holds up her hand um and you can see there are two attendants

kind of where they're like armed guards and the guards start dispersing. They just start leaving. And you see the silver hand basically making her way up to the windmill. The guards open it and she stands before you, this resplendent looking woman who kind of steps in. The door's shut behind you

and then you hear this very male voice are any of these fucking windows? close these windows, get these covered up and then the form flickers and you see from the hat downwards the form of Larry also turns into Jarlaxle, this drow dark skin, white haired

a bejeweled eye patch over one eye Rhiannon, a big hat with a feather in it outrageously flamboyant clothes like a big slender rapier A bejeweled eye patch over one eye, Rhiannon. A big hat with a feather in it. Nice. Outrageously flamboyant clothes, like a big slender rapier. Nice. Gloves. And he just, he looks fabulous.

And he just emerges. And the two attendants turn into drow. Not quite as flamboyant, but you can see they have two pistols on their, in like holsters. Like cowboy holsters. With long hair hair male drow and my good friends little goblin buddy

big purple dude it's Joe Laxle but yeah use first names for me I see you survived my little the big guy what was his name again oh buddy right big guy! What was his name again? Oh, Bertie.

Right, big guy! You survived too! I kind of expected that, to be honest. Oh, well, I mean, survive what? Never mind. Oh, and who is this lovely thing? Why, hello. Hello, Jaxel. Oh, my goodness.

That's quite a voice you have. Thanks. I'm concealing my identity. Ah, I see. That old gambit. Yeah. It's working pretty well. Yep, sure is. Loving the digs, by the way, dude. Thank you very much.

Ooh, uh... Wow, did not expect that voice To come out of that body Anyway What do you want? Who are you? I'm Aquamamba, you haven't heard of me? Aquamamba, do I know an Aquamamba, Jeffery?

He's messing with me I don't know, sir, maybe I've heard of a snake who goes to toilets Oh yeah, that's this guy You're the toilet guy! I love what you do. Nobody else would do it. You climb up in there,

you get to places nobody else would go. I mean, who would ever suspect it? See things nobody else wants to see. Right, right. Right. I'm going to disguise myself as a chair and just kind of shuffle away I have never seen anybody

Use disguise self that way That is impressive That is impressive Alright Poosnake The chair cries Hey are you the bad guy I'm not a bad guy No

I'm not a bad guy. No. No. I'm not a bad guy. See, I told you. See? Big guy knows. I mean, you owe me some fish and chips. I actually... Sure. Whatever.

So, you found the windmill. Congratulations. Hey. Great. Now, there's a little couple of things to discuss. Now, I helped you. got the law off your back. You want to get in the vault. I want to get in the vault. Huh? Sounds like there's a potential allegiance here.

Have you got the keys? I have two of the keys. I also have the Stone of Galore. I'm also quite capable of killing all of you. So, here's how this is going to work You're going to find The last key Go in the vault Make sure it's okay

I come in I take the treasure Give you a share Everybody's a winner What's the share? There's the chair I love this Look the chair is talking

Can I sit on you? And he like goes to sit on you Obviously passes through Oh that's a shame this look the chair is talking can i sit on you and he like goes to sit on you obviously passes through oh that's a shame he goes to sit on me yeah ring of the ranch oh no oh please do let me just no please i'm not going to. Oh. Sorry. I have to find stats for him. I just realised.

I don't want to ring of the ram. John Axel. John Axel Banray. That'd be pretty... Axel's pretty dumb, but he understands someone that's got... How dumb is he? His intelligence is 10.

Oh. So, plus zero. Well, so, what do you think? Cher, what is it? Oh, let me think here. We're putting our lives on the line, getting a key for you as the last missing piece. Yeah, but, I mean, I could do that. I'm throwing a bit of a bone.

I'll tell you what, I'll make this, how's this for a deal? You take 100,000 out of a bone. I'll tell you what. I'll make this. How's this for a deal? You take a hundred thousand out of the five hundred but there's a staff I want in the vault along with all the treasure.

I want the staff. What does it do? You don't need to worry about that. Is that a hundred thousand each? No. It would be a hundred thousand divided between you guys, but I'm pretty confident that's more than what anybody else in this city is going to pay for you.

I don't need the gold. I have a lot of it. But it's going to give me a lot of leverage. But I'll give you 100,000. How's that? Pooh snake? Ring of the ram. What about you?

Come on, Goblin Buddy. That's a good deal, right? Yes. We've got a thing. Yeah, sure. You survived my little trap. You're a cunning little guy. It was a very cute trap.

I used a parade float, and I almost freezed him to death. Yeah. It's genius. It was touch and go for a second there. Sounds elaborate and beautiful. You know, it was so pointlessly elaborate. That's the beauty of it. I turned blue. There was a broken dragon. It was amazing. Oh, my was so pointlessly elaborate. That's the beauty of it. I'm turning blue.

There was a broken dragon. I wish I was there to see it. It was amazing. Oh my god, that sounds incredible. That spot was pretty cute as well. Oh, you found one of my little guys. Yeah, he's just a little scout. He's fine. Rescued him from the Underdark. Raised him and his three brothers all by myself. That's very sweaty.

Not really. I'm pretty sure they would have killed me if I hadn't raised them. Anyway, so what do we say? Huh? Do we have a deal? Eh, bada-bing! I mean, if not, I could have my guys kill you right now! We'll take the deal!

Yeah, I thought you would! All right, so I've got two of the keys. One's a silvered warhammer, and I'll keep the other one a secret for now. The one last one I need, and this has been the trickiest one to get, is I need a gift from a queen. The only queen I know is the silver hand, and she doesn't like me very much. So I need something.

A what? A gift from a queen. Why is that necessary? That's one of the keys. It's a key? Yep. It sounds like superstitious mumbo jumbo. Nope. Straight from the stone. The stone of Galore? Mm-hmm.

What? Gift from a queen. Just like any gift? Like a toilet roll or whatever? I believe as long as it is a gift from a queen. Okay. You're fine. So you can't steal it?

No, I think it has to be given. That's kind of the point of a gift, right? I don't really give a lot of gifts, so. Neither do I. No, I think it has to be given. That's kind of the point of a gift, right? I don't really give a lot of gifts. Not that you are. But yeah. Do you know any queens? You guys can make intelligence checks if you know any queens. It'd be a history check.

Technically. History or intelligence? I mean, they should be the same. Actually, they're the same. Yeah, they're the same. 15. 11. 16.

Oh, wow. 30? You were reading the other day. He can't read. He can't read. He can't read. You were told the story. You remember a puppet show

I'm a prince Mom? We could make that If you want that to be a thing Hey my mom's a queen She could be a queen of a Goliath tribe Did drag queens count? You know that's an interesting question

Did you say you're a prince? Maybe I don't know Is your mother You know, that's an interesting question. Did you say you're a prince, big guy? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how it works. Is your mother a queen? I mean, she's nice.

Is she the ruler of a kingdom? Maybe. Oh, God. By the gods. Hey, look, she gave me my boots. Buddy, when you were home and you had people come up to you, what did they call you? Birdie. Just Birdie, not Prince Birdie?

Big guy. What did they call your mom? Queen. Now, did they call her Queen or did they call her something like queenie because queenie's a name no i said like my queen okay all right this is an interesting development in our friendship i mean there's not many things that surprise you star like soban ray today is one of those days. What do you mean? So she gave you your boots. I mean, not these ones.

Not my wing boots. My boots, I left them behind in the jail. Wow. Where is she now? How far away? What, are you talking about the prisoner or are you talking about your mum? You are going to have to help me out at some point, Mark. I don't have to do shit.

She's outside. Outside, where? There's probably like a mountain range on the floor. She owns this windmill. How's that woman there? She's dead. No, there is probably a mountain range.

I think it's called the Grey Peaks, which is nearby. That's probably where you're from. There. And the prison is in Undermountain, which is a dungeon complex beneath the city. Yeah. But yeah, I left my boots in the jail. How awful.

Yeah. Did you say you got a 15 as well, by the way? Yeah. Yeah, so with a 15, you would probably know that the Silverhand, L'Areal Silverhand, is a queen. She counts as a queen. She's the ruler of Neverwinter, of Waterdeep. But also, she's a queen from a far-off elven kingdom.

So if you had a gift from her... I can't believe you. Royalty. If you didn't roll a 15, this was about to go very off book. Do goblin queens count? They're probably not recognized in society. I don't know. Laurel's still around.

Yeah. You're part of the lineage. Because you have quite a lot of intelligence. I'll be a king one day. She gave you gifts. You got the magic the lineage. Because you have quite a lot of intelligence. I'll be with King one day. She gave you gifts. You got the magic items. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to say that, though.

No, that's fine. I'm not going to say that. I'm telling Kim Richards, not Boomer. Kim Richards is slightly less intelligent than Boomer. Boomer would know that the gifts that you were given as magic items technically came from a queen. They were from La Ria. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm going to give that to myself, though. Okay. Well, it sounds to me like we need to find his mum. That, sure, great. I'm going to keep the other two keys, and I'll wait here. Okay. Well, I'll wait in my suite in the hotel. Which room is it?

I'm not going to tell you that. What's the passcode for the door? Or is it one of them fancy... You're a funny little guy. I know. I'm adorable. You little funny goblin. Poosnake?

Can you please enlighten me? Yes. On this stone of galore? What do you want to know? Is it some sort of communal device? What is it? It's pretty interesting, actually. It is some sort of device or creature, I'm not quite sure, that stores memories.

And it communicates with whoever attunes to it telepathically. So naturally, that's me, and I know all the secrets of the vault. Well, how to find it and the keys, anyway. How can a key understand that it's a gift from a queen and then it unlocks a door? All I know is powerful magics were used to create this vault. We can't teleport inside. We can't scry inside.

Never Ember spent a ton of money building this thing, and he employed the best mages The best wizards The best clerics to protect it If he's created some sort of System, a magic spell That detects the right keys That'll open the door

Why is it under a windmill Well as far as I understand As far as I understand He bought the windmill Because of some ex-lover of his. Oh, he was shacking up with the lady he's standing on right now. Ooh. Yeah.

He knew that this woman was, you know, crazy. So he built the vault when he was renovating the windmill. Keeping it hidden in plain sight. Because he embezzled

all the money. This is stolen money. While this is happening. It's a cunning ploy by Aquamumba. I'm going to conjure a mage hand behind him and try and rummage for the keys. Because he has one.

He said one of them was a silver warhammer. Sure. Make a sle warhammer. Sure. Make a sleight of hand. The stone of glory. Okay, make a sleight of hand check. That's a whole lot of dice he's just dragged away. Well, maybe he's going to need it. When trying to sleight of hand Jarlaxle Banray.

Do you have any dice, Mark? I do, but I haven't picked them out. I'll just grab a handful. Woo! Yeah. Okay. 45. I don't know how many dice he's just rolled.

I've rolled a lot of sixes Approximately 45 of them 9 12 13 Attention! Go step on them back High five her 38

So you're going for the stone of galore So the mage hand you're kind of like While I'm talking to him Tell me about the Stone of Galore So the mage hand you're kind of like trying to distract him Tell me about the Stone of Galore While that's all He does have his two attendants I'll see if Zibzam Zimbalor notices what you're doing And tries to assist in the distraction

Okay Zibzam Zimbalor doesn't know He's probably just like Mmm He's just sat there looking very glassy-eyed. Let's see if I got a natural 20. But no, the other two guards don't seem to notice. You rummage around, and the mage hand pulls out this long, you know, oval-shaped stone with three eyes in the middle of it,

which you know is the Stone of gore because you've seen it before and you get the stone to light, the mage hand kind of drifts and then you put it into your hand it's fascinating I know you're a very knowledgeable man

I'm a very smart man Poosnake otherwise I hope to one day you would have beaten me here it's true alright buddy knowledgeable man. I'm a very smart man, Poosnake. Otherwise, I hope that one day you would have beaten me here. That's true. Alright, birdie. Prince Birdie. Huh? Let's go find your mother. Oh, cool. Alright. Come on, boys. Let's go back to the suite. We'll be keeping an eye

on the windmill, so if you find it, we'll be here. Very well. Jarlaxle! And then he vanishes in a puff of smoke. Oh man, another guy that says his name before he does anything. What do the guards do?

Walk out. They're like, eh? Open the door and leave. Does your voice do that? Eh. He does. That is Jarlaxle.

Right. Hey, fancy. Goodbye. Knock next time. Au revoir. Close the door. Right. He's fancy. Goodbye. Knock next time. Au revoir. Close the door. Ugh. He was quite the specimen, wasn't he? Yeah. He's a nice guy, isn't he?

I like him. Top bloke. Yep. I don't let a lot of men get near Zimzal and Simplor. I'd let him at me, though. Just go to town. That's fair. Yeah. Okay. This one agrees. 100%. Who wouldn't?

So wait, who are we working for now? Brit's buddy. Huh? Oh, we don't need to do that. What? We know. That was just a ruse to buy us some time. We don't need to do what? Find his mother? Find his mum. What? Oh, come on! We can go find her after this,

big man, okay? Oh, I haven't seen her in ages. Because you and I are going to sit down and have a long talk about this queen business. What? Why? What do you mean? Because I've been looking after you for how long now and it turns out you've got a royal freaking family? Yeah! I mean, I'm going to be a king. Unbelievable.

I'm going to rule like a load of people. I swear to God. Prince Bertford it's but yeah you need a royal wizard I'm available for hire hell yeah I'll hi Zippy Zippy Zippy do roll card yeah yeah you want to do something to be your best bud wait so you're all working for your boss. I'm not agreed to anything. What? Huh? Boomer, what? Oh, you know that fancy little ring of yours? Yeah.

The ring of the ram? Yeah. Who gave it to you? Oh. Oh. I didn't think of that. Oh. Also, we got this.

He pulls out the stone of galore. Oh. But none of you know what it is. You've never seen it before. Oh, so gross. What's that? It looks like you like three weird eyes. Like a stone. Dude, your bread's gone off.

One key. Two keys. No, that's... What is it? It's the Stone of Galore. Oh, that's not a key. What? I think he said that wasn't a key.

So when you're holding it out, you just hear in your voice, in your head, Aquaman, but I'm not a key. But what are you, then? I am the Stone of Galore. Tell me where the other keys are. All right.

Since you possess me, I am bequeathed to share the information of the vault with whoever holds me. But you probably don't have long until Jarl Axel realizes what you've done. Well, hurry up then! Is he okay? There are three keys. Lord Never Ember selected them at random from a list so that he wasn't to be entirely sure which ones. Where? One is a

silvered warhammer. Any silvered warhammer. Where is it? Any. Any silvered warhammer. We need to get any silvered warhammer immediately. You will also need a bar of adamantine. Any silvered warhammer. We need to get any silvered warhammer immediately. You will also need... Go! A bar of adamantine. A bar of adamantine. And then the last one is a gift from a queen.

We just need a bar of adamantine and a silver warhammer. Any. Okay. Where can we source that? Is there an armory somewhere? Yeah, there's loads. It's a huge city. There's loads of them.

Can you slink out without Jarl Axel noticing? No problem. How many of you slunk in without Jarl Axel noticing? No problem. I mean, you slunk in here quite soon. He knows we're going to go out. Like, we can't find the queen by sitting here. Go with Bertie to make it look like you're looking for the queen. Yeah. Be quick about it.

Yes. We're going to go look for the queen at a blacksmith's. Might be a working thing. Just make sure you not lose them. Lose them. All right? We'll be very... So we're going to meet my mom?

Yeah, buddy. Oh, cool. Okay, let's go. Cool, let's go. Get back here quick before Jalaxal finds out that the stone's gone missing. Yeah, he's going to be pissed when he finds that out. Yeah, he might have dropped it. Then that's my alibi.

Okay. Right, and then what? You two are going to go after the silver door hammer? Yeah, I guess we split off, right? Do I have to go with you? I mean, we have to do something. Do you want all that money in the vault? I mean, I do, but Birdie's my boy.

All right, go with Birdie. We'll get the other thing. Sure. Sweet. Nice. We got a deal? Are we a team now? Team Mamba?

I put up a tiny part. Zeb's, Team Mumba! Yeah, what's this guy gonna do? What are you fancy? Warhammer, bar, and a mentee? I should probably get rid of this corpse, really, shouldn't I? Oh, he'll just melt. It's fine. Oh, that's true.

What do you want me to do? I still get the princess share, right? Can you stall Jalexil if he comes back? That's fine specimen of a hunk of man. I can try. Have a go on it. I don't think he'll go for it, but I'll give it a good go.

Just make it really clear that we're looking for Bertie's mother. Bertie's mother. Not getting the keys for ourselves. No. To sneak past Jalexil. I have mastered the arcane arts, Master Aquamumber. I'm not some buffoon who's going to reveal our plan like some simpleton. Just don't get drunk, yeah?

All right. Because I have a feeling... Now, by drunk, do you mean don't drink or don't get drunk? Don't get drunk, because I have a feeling that when you're drunk... I can still have my good afternoon tipple. Oh, that's fine. Just don't get drunk because you strike me as a man who just becomes a waterfall of knowledge. I am a waterfall of

knowledge. Yeah but just like specifically knowledge about what we do. Centuries of knowledge and power trapped within my mind. Well keep that in for now. I just become a waterfall. It's awful. I can't hold it. What? My blood is too small. You broke the seal. Wow. It's awful. I can't hold it. What? My bladder's too small. You broke the seal.

Wow. Many years ago. Unexpected. Shebo, I have one thing which I can use to keep John Axel away. I can literally surround the windmill in a wall of fire. We need to get back in. That is a problem. You would get

burned. Yes, don't do that until we're back in I mean, fireball No, don't kill him I mean, I'm out of ideas, I'm afraid Just say they'll be back soon Come back in two or three hours Right, alright Wait, are we trying to get into the place without being seen?

Buddy, we're looking for your mum No, no, wait. Hear him out. Is that what you said? That's what he said. I've got a teleporting helm. There's my boy. Yeah.

There's my boy. You know what, Buddy? I'm just super smart. I don't give you the time. No. You just need time to think and say things. Yeah. I mean, I've blanked for like 90% of the conversation, but...

You've come a really long way since we last met. Yeah. I'm proud of you. He's got a new hat. I'm like, yeah. You know, I do. I like you guys. I'd like to take some credit for that.

Yes. It's taken a couple of years of training. Okay. Fantastic. Yes. Tell Jarl Axel you're out looking for Bertie's mum. If shit hits the fan wall of fire

He normally does around me. Wall of fire him out. Roger. And we'll give you what's needed to open the door and you'll teleport

in and do it. He can teleport all of us in. Yeah. Teleport us all in and do it. Man, you're real slow. I've had a lot of hits on the head. I've got

three. You've probably got a concussion, mate. You might want to get that seen too. Yeah. I'm hanging on by a fine thread. Halfling one at that. Let's go. Alright. Good luck team. Team Mamba. Team Mamba.

Team Poop Snake. I have. Team Poopsnake. I have very little trust in this man that we just met. What do you mean? We're part of Team Mamba. I'm part of the team. I'm part of the crew. He's part of the team. He's Team Zippy Zippy Zoom. Zip, zap, zim, da-lop. Yeah, give him his turtleneck. Oh, we...

We get turtlenecks? I lost mine. I can't do this anymore. We do. I lost mine. Tell you what. You keep your end of the bargain. You get your share.

And a turtleneck. And then I get to be Bertie's royal wizard Yeah I love it I love it If you give us up I'm not going to give you up Alright, just saying

Worst case scenario You should leave Okay Yes, let's go Let's get out of here So How many charges do you got on that thing? I think I have two left

Yeah Because I tried to use one but it didn't work Teleport us out No, you tried to use it but you didn't spend thing? I think I have two left. Yeah. So I tried to use one, but it didn't work. Teleport us out. No, you tried to use it, but it didn't spend it. But I think you... You used one. We can afford to get you in the window. Yes.

So I've got two left. You've got two left. Yeah. So I'm going to use one now. No! I'm not going to use one now. No! Tom!

You're like... Boomer's like, no! No! No! They need to see us leaving, Bertie. Oh, okay. Right. So Bertie and Boomer are going for the adamantine bar.

Yeah. Black Viper and Aquamumber, Snake Minds, Team Snake Minds, is going for the silvered warhammer. So, yeah, what are you going to do? Are you going to go find a little what? What are you doing? How are you doing? I'm going to go to a luxury VIP blacksmith.

Oh, nice. Okay. So you're going to find the best blacksmith in town. Okay, and then what about you guys? I think we're going to go to a luxury VIP blacksmith. Yeah. So you're like, all right, go team, and then you both... Where are you going? Just get stuck in the door.

Will you go to that blacksmith that's down the... Yeah? Yeah. So, just to be clear, so the adamantine bar you can obtain, it's, I think it costs, oh, I didn't print it out. I'm going to say 500 GP

to buy a small adamantine bar. I have. I have 510. Okay, so you can buy it. I've got about 996. You can get it then. I might get the silver warhammer, it might be more expensive.

No, the silver warhammer is pretty cheap You have to search around for it It's about 25 gold You just go and find You probably have to go to A weapon store that specialises For adventurers

And they're like Hunting some vampires or werewolves Yes we have some silver warhammers Blushing them to death. They bring out this massive silvered warhammer. It'd probably be 125, actually, silver. But yeah, you can just buy this stuff. 125.

It seems to be that the reason that the vault key is that you need the stone to know exactly what random items you need. They're not the kind of things you would just present normally. So yeah, you just buy them. The main thing you need to They're not the kind of things you would just present normally. So yeah, you just buy them. The main thing you need to do is, I'm assuming you want to avoid being followed by the laxle. So that is going to be a

stealth skill challenge. So everybody needs to make some checks. You can each contribute you use a skill, once you've used that skill you're done. You'll need to reach A certain number of successes To lose them

So stealth is obviously A good one But if you can think of other ways That you can try and lose people In the big Deep city of Waterdeep I mean I genuinely believe We're going to see my mum

So I'm just talking about that All the time So that would Like persuasion I guess Like yeah I guess that that would be A persuasion No because you're not performing

You genuinely think you are. Buddy, we're going to go give your mum a gift so that she gets a gift in return. We'll go to the blacksmith's house. Well, that sounds like you're using deception for your part of the challenge. I mean, I was just going to be rambling on about, like, hey, you're going to really like my brother.

He's really cool. And you're going to see my dad. He's real old. And you get to see, oh, maybe you get to have a fight with my sister. So what I'd probably say is by doing that, you're not necessarily doing anything to convince anybody that that's where you're going,

but you are helping Aquamama's lie that that's... You're kind of helping sell the lie. I believe I'm going there. Yeah, this is why it's a help. So Aquamama, you can make a deception with advantage as your first check in the challenge. You have advantage because of Bertie. 21 plus...

27. 27, okay. That's a success. Bam. So you have one success so far. So you're all kind of selling this like, yeah, Bertie, we're going to go do this. Sound like you're a bit Godffried. Yeah. Oh, my sister's gonna beat the crap out of you. She's huge.

What? She's massive. Well, I look forward to it. I best get a weapon. No. It's a bare knuckle fight. I best get a weapon. So while you're having the conversation, Boomer and Black Piper, what are you doing to help lose your tails?

Imagine a super dense metropolis fancy city. So, you know, anything you can imagine with stores or crowds, you can pretty much try and get away with. Like, if you want to try and cause a distraction, you want to try and just slip into the shadows, you can do that. Whatever you can think of to help lose your pursuers. Am I still doing this check as well? We'll do it on the next round.

So your check was helping Aquamumba. I want to slip away into a throng of people and just meld myself into them so well. Classic stealth, just blending in and losing things. Yeah, go for it. It's a stealth check. Nice. That's a lot. Yeah.

16, 25, 33. That is another success. Nice. That's not even including your bonus. Oh, yeah, and plus six. That would have been like, yeah. Like 40, what was it? 39.

39, yeah. Yeah. Nice. So using that, you're not just yourself is slipping into the crowds, you're helping everybody else as well. You're, like, pulling them down backseat alleyways. You're, like, seeing big crowds and being like, right, right, come on, come on, and then you blend in.

You're, like, maybe, like, you grab, like, a cloak and you throw it over, like, Bertie for a second and then lead him off like a grandma. Just frantically, like, ah! Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're kind of helping the team work their way through it. Nice. Boomer, what are you doing?

How are you contributing? So, count... Yeah. You can also just think of something. I'm just thinking, like, if I fire a bright light explosive, that's pretty suspicious activity. Like, it's not really... It would cause a ruckus, yes.

Yeah. But it would draw... It could potentially draw some unwanted attention. But you could also just use your general knowledge of alchemy and things to be like, you bypass a firework cellar and you're like, ah, and you know which ones to set a light to and stuff like that.

Or you could like... Toss a match in there. Whoa. All right. A real alchemist. Or I was thinking like are there actually no I'm really deceptive so I feel like I should do a deceptive check

so like if I'm like if I'm buying into this fantasy you have to take a different angle to the deception because Aquaman was already like sold that yeah you're definitely going to see the queen but if you can think of anything else otherwise yeah it's uh would it would it be the same angle if i was talking about going to get

some food because i'm really hungry or is that still the same sort of like similar vibe you can do it it would just be harder because it's like you're selling two lies then it's like aquam is like we're gonna go see the queen and then you're saying like, no, we're gonna go get some food now. So you can do it, but it's harder. I'll get some food first before we leave.

You can do it. Have I seen people following us? Like, have I seen... So do you want to try and like keep an eye on to keep a track of like who's following you

and where they are? Because that would be a perception check. No. I was just more like, if there's someone I can go and intimidate, like, just tell them to piss off. I mean, there's definitely,

there are people around that you know, the criminal underworld, there are informants everywhere. They're like, all they have to do is go up and pay some money and they'll say, yeah, I saw the goblin and his crew, they were going this way.

So you could go up and intimidate one of them to give false information yeah yeah that sounds great yeah that sounds perfect yeah so you're gonna find like some criminal informants and you're like listen mate if a fucking drow comes around yeah you fucking tell him that i've gone off to this way otherwise i'm gonna come back and i'm gonna eat your tongue while it's still in your face sounds pretty intimidating you're gonna make out with him intense gobbling kiss 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

plus 8, 26 so very much like what Tom said the guy's like what are you gonna do, make out with me yeah but really unpleasantly. He's like, well, we'll see. Won't we, Goblin? I'm just going to grin and show all my little rotten teeth.

But you get a sense that maybe you're not quite as intimidated as you wanted him to be. I'm too cute. Too cute. What else would you guys like to try and do? So, full round. Any ideas of how to try and lose these people? So this is just another round of it?

Yeah, like you have to, because this is you're making your way through the streets of water deep right this isn't like you just instantly arrive where you want to go you're like going to these stores you're buying things you're going to the next store that you need to get stuff from so it's kind of like an ongoing process and every time that you succeed you're getting a little bit further away they're having a harder time finding you or like keeping track of what you're doing but also like you know with failures there's hints that they might be able to track you down so It's ongoing process. There's history to check for old entrance ways or under ruins

Excellent idea Chris drop. Thank you. Do I get three advantages? No Excellent idea, Chris Trump. Thank you. Do I get three advantages? No. By the way, these guys haven't actually been used yet. I've just been holding them in prep. Natural 20.

Natural 20 plus tons. 32, 37, 39. Plus history, which is another six. Yeah. Aquaman knows all the secret routes of the city. Like, sewers. All sewers. All sewers.

No, but you know, like, all the, yeah, like, the hidden nooks and crannies. Yeah, the aqueducts. Yeah, easily. That's how I got my name. So you kind of lead them into, like, a crowded marketplace, and then you pull aside, like, you know, this old, you know, part of the city. You drop down into these old sewers that nobody knows about. After you prince. And then you get to another part

having lost a lot of people. I like the silvers. I met that woman down here. She sold me a jar of piss. Any other ideas? You need one more. One more success. Make it count.

I mean, throughout this entire process, I feel like Bertie is just like, hey, are we going this way? No. Are we going this way? And just constantly, like, pointing in directions we're not actually going, but not in an attempt to confuse people,

just because he's dumb. I'm not sure that's going to help. No, it just means, like, if there's people listening that's just like, oh, they'll be going this help. No, it just means like, if there's people listening, that's just like, oh, they'll be going this way. And I'm just constantly like, are we going that way? I don't think you can roll a check for being Bertie. Also, they can just follow you.

They'll just follow wherever we go. I'll roll a check and I have to get lower in my intelligence. I don't understand how your mind works sometimes. I think Bertie is neither hindering nor helping at this point. Well, that's what I'm doing. Black Viper. Boomer. Any ideas?

Does it have to be a skill check? You can also just be like, if you can come up with a crazy idea, using an item. I do have a crazy idea, but I kind of want to use it later. Then save it. I do have a crazy idea, but I kind of want to use it later. Then save it.

Then save it. Can I try and fashion disguises? Yeah, that's perfect. But like it's the two children under a trench coat disguise. Because Aquamumber and Boomer are both small creatures, so they would fit under one trench I'm on top. Yeah. I'm definitely on top. I am not going underneath you, mate.

Yeah, I think so. For that, I think Black Viper would be proficient with disguises, I think. So make it... Make a... Let me have a look at your skills. What have you got? I think that this would be... You'd have plus four to this with your dice, because it'd be charisma mod plus proficiency.

So you get d20 plus four, and then obviously you can roll the Idol Champions dice as well. Yeah, let's do it. This is like, you're using charisma, but also your knowledge of disguises. So you've got Aquamumber and Boomer in a trench coat and a hat. Yeah. What about you and Bertie?

What are you disguising you and Bertie as? I guess you could use your cloak on those two. Yeah. And then you're now without a cloak, so that's like without a disguise. But then she'd be revealing her true self to you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you probably see see like I don't know

you know there's what kind of crazy disguises can you think of you know you pass dress shops and costume shops along the way that you can

run in and grab things for yeah I've always grabbed fabric and like make like drab babushka hoods and stuff a babushka

but yeah Bertie could make an excellent babushka a babushka thank you an old grandma with a grey skin and wrinkled stone lines. I like that. Something like that, yeah.

Yeah. I'm so pretty. And then what about yourself? What would I do? I guess I'd probably just like... I don't know, what would I do? Do you? Oh, that's what I want to hear.

Yeah. I want to hear what your disguise is. She is a disguise. I'm a disguise. I'm a human disguise. She is an en Yeah. I want to hear what your disguise is. She is a disguise. I'm a disguise. I'm a human disguise. She is an enigma. I feel like... There is a parade which is being planned for recently,

so there's a lot of costume stores and things like that as well. I'll grab a costume. Yeah. Something ridiculous. A onesie. A onesie, yeah. But it would be like a D&D monster onesie, so it's like an owlbear.

Yeah, owlbear onesie. It's an owlbear. Owlbear onesie. So you put an owlbear onesie on it. Yeah, of course. So yeah, make a disguise check. Okay, do it. That's 16.

25 on dice, plus your whatever the addition was. 29. 29. So with these cunning disguises, Aquamumber's knowledge of sewers, Boomer's intimidation didn't really help. Adorable intimidation. And then Bertie and Aquamumber's... Deception?

Deception, like the ploy of going to see the mum. His deception mind. Yeah, Bertie's belief that you're going to see it. Gift for your mum. Yeah, you manage to successfully avoid... You lose them, the two gunslingers, the drow gunslingers that Jarl Axel had with him, were trailing you, and throughout the streets of Warding, you manage to lose them, and you leave them in the dust, walking away in your onesie and everything else.

What the hell are you wearing? I look so good right now. She still has the Batman mask on underneath. Hey, it's me. It's Birdie. Architelle. Yeah, it's really obvious. You just got a thing on my head. That's it.

I've just got a cowl. That's it. It's a big cowl fabric. And yeah, you manage to buy the mythril bar, the adamantine bar And the Silver Warhammer You mark off the gold And then you're done I marked off the gold For the Warhammer

Can you not take the Frickin You've got like so much money I can buy the other one too Actually I have Three pistols Can I How much are like

Three pistols worth Oh he'll take those Yeah so Three pistols and bullets Oh, he'll take those. Yeah, so three pistols and bullets for an adamantine bar. Blacksmith is very pleased. Oh, this is very rare. I'm not going to use that. I'm surprised.

What? I thought Boone would love guns. No, he's more of a classic explosions guy. Let's see. Demolitions. Go big or go home. Do we walk back there or do we teleport in? Let's go to a dark

corner of an alleyway and teleport back. As long as Bertie knows where it is. As long as it's a location he's been before. Because time is of

the essence. Bertie. Yeah. In your mind. Yeah. The old windmill. Yeah. Take us there.

Now? Yes. Alright. Come on in. Yay! Come on in. Everyone get in close. You do that for I'm coming over. Yeah. Take us there. Now? Yes. All right. Come on in. Yay! Come on in. Everyone get in close. You do that for my mom.

I'm coming out of there. You really got to focus on the windmill, okay? The windmill. We're not seeing your mom. Windmill. Oh, windmill. The windmill. The vault.

The windmill. The windmill. Where the vault was. Okay, come here. Okay. And we're not going to see my mom teleport. Did you teleport to your home? You're such a twat.

It's just not... It's just... The Tom Hays are like, yes, yes, that's what I'm doing. So when you arrive, you know you're not at a windmill. You arrive at a... You're such a son of a bitch.

In the mountains, it is cold and windy. You can already tell you're very high up. The oxygen count is low. What the fuck? And you stand before a stone palace carved into the very

mountain itself. You are currently in a courtyard, a beautiful courtyard with a garden. As you just appear in the middle of this courtyard, there is a playset which is big for Goliath-sized playset. So it's like monkey bars, but for a full-sized Goliath man. There is a little sandbox, but it's obviously ginormous um buddy hey we're home buddy um there are several very confused for a second looking goliath guards hey who are like and they start pulling out their weapons and speaking in some sort of strange language which is John me, Bertie they look at you Bertie

Prince Bertie yeah hey what are you doing here? I teleported here you went to this city? yeah what are you doing here?

I just teleported how did you get here? I used this thing you have become a wise wizard yeah wow yeah your mother will be amazed

I got this staff too too, and these boots. We must fetch your mother at once. Well, yeah. We've got time. Just one moment, guys. Bertram. Yeah. Yeah.

What did I say to you before we teleported? Goblin, you do not speak to our prince that way. Listen, we've got to think. You listen to me. He is the royal son of the clan. You will not disrespect him. Are you gonna allow this, Bertie, speaking to your best friend like this?

They're enormous, these... You actually get the sense that maybe these aren't Goliaths. These might be giants. I mean, like, you said teleport to the windmill. Like, I made a mistake, okay? Is this the windmill? No, I mean,

I thought it was my mom. Would you like some refreshments, my prince? We have your favorites. Yeah? Yes. Like ten balls? We have a good time! What? Of course. It was so close Take us back It's so cold There's no food though

What now? What now? Let's go see his mum Come on He's come all this way What? What? I've got a soft spot for mum

Charles Axel's going to be Coming back to the Wimbledon Any moment And you want to go for snacks Aww I am pretty hungry Yes We're about to lose out

A shadow falls over Aquamumber As this guard looms down What? What do you want? Do not raise your voice Shut your mouth I think I'm done Be careful

If they go to touch you I'll wring them out So yeah he reaches down with a giant fist So it's Attack roll with a giant fist. It's attack roll with a plus seven bonus. Sure. He's going to flick you off the map. Twenty hits. And then

it does 2d10 force damage and pushes five feet away. Seven. So he reaches down. He's just about to like Grab you with his giant hand You're like Boom You knock him back

He stuns back The other one is like He has attacked one of the rules Teleport They pull out these giant clubs No guys wait Hey no come on It's Aquamumber

I'm part of his crew I'm part of his team I'm part of his team There is no You are a prince my lord Yeah but he's You do not need to listen To this small You want some too

I'm so done Yes you need to listen To him Bertie You need to listen To Mamba Well can we come back Because I'm really hungry We can

We can definitely Come back Bertie There's thousands of gold You can eat for the rest of your life every day come on there's more of them beginning to appear

come on this little guy with a little stick filling up like four stone giants as they loom around alright I'll see you later guys they're gonna go back tell his mum I love her I mean they're like

you must get away from them my prince no they're my friends it's cool alright see you later then bye and windmill put my monster manual away oh my god okay yeah so you arrive in the windmill you arrive in the windmill.

You appear in the main living room. There's a startled noise from Zimzam Zondalore, who is kind of lying on what looks to be like an old, worn-out chaise longue, and he very quickly covers himself up. You're not quite sure what he was up to. He's like, I didn't expect you back so soon. He was stroking his beard again. He was.

What is this show? I thought we were a good wholesome family show. I'm just going to face Paul and walk down to the vault. He's like, just memorizing my spell book. You do your best,

you do your best. I'm just going to point and go you missed it prestidigitation that away clean that off ew

you saw nothing can we open the door it's very lonely being wizard alright alright well we're about to make you a lot of money

so you don't have to be lonely I thought you had a wife and a lot of kids an ex-wife Lots of them Do you think anybody would stick around me for very long, Boomer?

No, exactly. Zim Zam Yes Aqua team leader member, lord If you see any of them come near Wall of Fire. Well no, I'm coming down with you We need a lookout No, you need me. I need to come with you. I'm part of the team.

But if they come in... We're going to go to the vault together. If they come in, we'll fight them together. Yeah. How many charges have we got left? None. None. What's the matter?

Can you teleport? No, far beyond my skills You're out of spell slots as well I mean spell power aren't you? Yes, my tears of spells have been I've replenished some of my energy With that short rest I took Yes, rest

I'm going to tell you a new one I swear to god Was that Aquamama saying that? It's Aquamama Aquamama Chris that? Or is that Aquamama? Aquamama. Chris Trott's loving this. Who's Chris Trott? Is that your other personality?

Yeah. He's in there somewhere. He's screaming. In a corner. Let me out. We're going to go in. Okay. We're going to take all the gold we can get.

We're going to go in Okay We're going to take all the gold we can get We're going to use the staff And I really hope that staff has some real powerful abilities To stop a whole horde of drow What if it just makes spiders happen? Oh no No, not the spiders Oh yeah, you do So he holds up this stick That has spiders and insects crawling all over it

Oh no Hey, look It's awful This is what it it. Oh, no. Hey, look. No! It's awful. This is what it does. No. No. Oh, okay. No.

No, hey. No. Back off. It's mine. Good. All right, jeez. Keep it away from me. You're my friend.

Nice. No, I'm... No, the stuff, I don't like it. I like you. All right. Oh, no. Okay. Hey, do you like my wing boots?

They're dope. Real dope. They're real fucking dope. They look Oh, no. Okay. Hey, do you like my wing boots? They're dope. Real dope. They're real fucking dope. They look like... They're fresh. Yeah, they look like Air Jordans or something. Oh, yes. Fantasy Air Jordans.

They're amazing. Fantasy Air Jordans with wings on the side. I imagine the wings on it flap as well a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Classic kind of Hermes style. Nice. But these are Air Jordans, not sandals. I mean, yeah, they actually have wings on them.

So, like, we've got all the keys, right? Yeah, let's go to the vault. I'm walking past them with the hammer. The anchor is downstairs. Yeah, he's already... I'm just like, hammer, and I... Orb! So you hold up the hammer, the bar, and then...

Orb, tell me what to do. Present the keys. Bring them. I present! Silver warhammer! You hear a... I'm the. Present the keys. Bring them. I present Silver Warhammer. You hear a I'm the one with the bar. Where's the boomer? Get down here.

Yeah, I'm just picking my nose as I walk down the stairs. I present the Ring of the Ram. Boomer! Yeah, what? Just don't yell, man. You really need some anger management to fucking help.

Just fill up the thing. The bar. what it just don't yell man you really need some anger management fucking hell just fill up the the thing the bottom the big adamantine door vault rolls to the side

into the wall and it's completely sealed off and there'd be a shot from the inside silhouetting and just opening up just with a really

pissed off and boomer's got a finger up his nose he's like really really up there just digging around mining for gold team Pumper assemble and you see like Bertie behind you

like holding his staff away from Black Piper who's freaking out and then Zimzams just stroking his beard looking very strange flush face okay Zank's just stroking his beard, looking very strange. Fluff face. Okay, the door opens, and you see before you a large chamber. I've got a map here, but I can't really show you the map.

You see a large chamber that extends forward. There is three age-worn columns supporting crumbling stone bridges 60 feet overhead um and there are alcoves uh with 12 sets of double doors made from iron so it's a big corridor so it's one big corridor imagine like a long corridor 12 uh 12 sets of doors on the sides in alcoves 12 12 or 12 or 6, 6. 6, 6. But then there is a staircase leading up to three bridges that cross the room. And you can see there are more doors upstairs as well on either side.

No gold. Nothing like immediately in here. You've got to check all the doors and you could all be trapped and rigged. Alright. This is way more complicated than I thought it would be. Alright, let's just get luring. Unless maybe there's like 500,000

doors and there's just one golden behind each door. That would be hilarious. You can just see like there's a vein in Aquamumber's head, just like... He's so close but so far I'm just going to go up

to the first door on the left and inspect it for traps investigation check okay every time he rolls every time

he didn't use any dice every time we still have an hour left ten ten it's enough to realise that these doors They're fakes So just a rudimentary inspection

That first set of doors, fake Doesn't budge It's not a real door Check for fake doors Look for the real ones Split up Best thing a team can do is split up. Okay.

Okay. So, you've got four on one side, four on the other, and then at the very far end there appears to be a set of double doors which leads

to some, you assume a staircase that leads up to the stone bridges. Who is going where? I'm just going to pick doors.

along with the left-hand side. You're going to keep going on the left-hand side, this side. Can I check the, investigate going along with the left-hand side. You're going to keep going on the left-hand side, this side. Can I check the investigate the double doors? Yep.

Okay, so Boomer goes to do that. What about the two of you? What about Bertie and Black Viper? I guess I'll just take the other side to Aquanumber. Okay, Black Viper. So you go up with Boomer, ready to go up into the next bit. 19. 19.

So you just keep going down all of the doors on that side. You check the same things. They all appear to be fake. Left side's fake, Bertie. Bertie, they won't budge. They're like sealed shut. You just, you don't know if that's because

you can't open them or Tom Hazel. They are fake doors but Bertie doesn't know that. Let's put them on the first one still. Come on. It's fake. Huh?

Move along. Okay. I'll spend like 10 minutes on the second one. Yep, same thing. So when you investigate the second one, these doors aren't fake. These are double doors. They don't appear to be trapped.

They just open up into another chamber. You can see that there is a carved set of stairs that goes up about 70 feet to the stone bridges that cross this large vaulted chamber. Think Mines of Moria from Fellowship of the Rings. There is also, on the North Wall directly in front of you, there's a 20-foot square fresco that depicts dwarves battling goblins. What?

It shows the dwarves murdering lots of goblins. Oh, my God. Well, that's fucking racist. That is not how that happened, by the way. Oh my god. Well that's fucking racist. That is not how that happened by the way. We were winning. But these dwarves

you know they don't like it when other people win. So the doors are open and you can see that you have to basically the inside of the room

you move the stairs start going up so you move up to the fresco and then the stairs head up to these stone bridges. Fake news.

Fake news. Alright calm it down bridges. Fake news. Fake news! All right, calm it down, Donald. So, yeah, so after about 20 minutes, Bertie finally checks all the other side of the doors. They're all fakes. I've moved on. Okay, so you move up to the same area where Boomer and Black Viper are.

This fresco in front of you and then the stairs. In this first part. Yeah, they must be above. As I'm ranting at this fresco... How close do you get to it? Not close enough for your trap to grow up in my face. Give me a figure. Can I investigate so close enough to investigate?

Answer my question. Close enough to investigate it. Cool. Can you make a wisdom saving throw, please? Wisdom. Wisdom. Twelve. 1722, 23 on dice What he said So yeah, you begin to feel that the fresco emits some sort of

enchantment, it almost becomes mesmerising and tries to enthrall you to just stare at it but you manage to resist it and kind of look away, you can't be affected by the effect anymore for the next 24 hours. Okay, and do I... Can I tell them?

You can tell that it was trying to muddle your brain. Like, there's some sort of... It looks like it's designed to... To go up the stairs, you have to pass the fresco, and the fresco is there to basically suck your attention in. Keep you there until you starve to death. I see. It's not enough that you're depicting a massacre of my people.

You're trying to get me as well. I'm just pointing at this fresco, shouting at it. Well, fuck you, painting. Fuck you. I'm just getting some matches out. I'm not trying to wave a match. It's a fresco. It's stone painted stone.

It's not a tapestry. Oh, sorry. No, it's a painted stone fresco. I'm going to get a match out and just start going, look, this is what I'm going to do to you paintings. This is what I'm going to do. If you were made of some other material. Why are you shouting, we need to keep moving, come on.

The fresco tried to poison me. What, that one? Are you going to look at it? Where's some seaming through? I would have done that, I'm sure. you going to look at it? Where's some saving throw? I would have done that. I'm not sure. Where's some saving throw? Okay, that's okay.

Oh, my brain's died. Tom. 27. Sorry. Enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, same thing. Try to model your brain. You're immune to Enough. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. See, same thing. Tries to muddle your brain.

You're immune to the effects for 24 hours. You feel like this, this shifting pattern of the colours and the shapes. And then you're like, Ah! Bernie! Huh? Viper! Hello.

Never look at the fresco. At the what? What fresco? Oh, that thing. Like, Viper, make a wisdom saving trick. Oh, that thing. Like, my filmmaker wins the saving for it. One burger as well. Like, 25, 29, 30 on dice.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, all four of you are fine. Yes, use the dice. Use my precious dice. Yeah, in fact, if you could all just swear at it

as you walk past, tell it what a bastard it is, that would be great. Thank you. Hey, you're a bastard! Thank you. Hey, fuck you. You guys,

you're such good friends. Yeah, the stairs just lead up. Why do we do that? It's quite an accurate depiction. It is not! Is that one you? Up we go! Oh, looks like my granddad, actually.

Okay, so you go up to the top. You see that there is... So this forms like one half of the gallery or balconies that the stone bridges are connected to. There's another painting, a stone mural, sorry, that depicts a dwarf smith forging dwarves out of black metal and diamonds. Forging dwarves?

Yeah, like a dwarf is making dwarves out of black metal and diamonds on the wall. Making otherwarves? Yeah, like a dwarf. It's making dwarves out of black metal and diamonds on the wall. Making other dwarves? Yeah. Down the middle of the painting, down the middle of the mural, there is a large crack in the wall, and you can see some sort of black shape, something like a dark space behind the painting.

Then there are three stone bridges, the middle one of which has about a 15-foot gap where it's crumbled in on itself. Um, and then on the other side, there are three adamantine doors at the end of each bridge. And they're not connected on the other side. You can't just walk between the doors. No, no, yeah, the bridges lead to each door. Well! So you have top, middle, and bottom. Middle has the gap that you have to jump across.

I think the lightestest fleet of foot should go on the three bridges. That's you, me, and you. Birdie? You can levitate with your boots, right? Yeah. When we pick the right door, you come across. Okay. I mean, I can just jump. Nope. Birdie, take a look at what's in that crack in the wall.

Fuck. It's a sphere of an illusion oh man it could be what have you done to me I just thought there would be nothing there I'm going to be honest for the last like two minutes I stopped listening for something

so I don't know where we are you're just looking at the picture aren't you so Bertie you look inside a natural one a picture, aren't you? So, Bertie, you look inside. Oh, fuck. A natural one. A black pseudopod of slime reaches out

to try and grab you and slap you and you're like, as this punch. Sure, make an attack roll. Cool. Right in the kisser.

We'll just have you guys go in initiative and then we'll have the monster go, I think. Man, that's low. Well, 12 12 hits. Bam 1d4 plus 6. Is it coming out of the crack now? Yeah, it's kind of oozing out So 10 on that and I guess I get sneak attack on it as well. You do yes Another 6 damage so 16 total. 16 total total You take 4 points of acid damage

As your fist Which one did you hit with by the way? It was fucking A Which is the metal hand Right so because it's a metal hand That now takes a permanent Minus 1 penalty to damage rolls As the acid of the ooze

Melts part of your hand away You're like And it starts burning your hand away What the hell have you done to me Boomer? Yeah So we'll say that's Bertie's game and it starts burning your hand away. What the hell have you done to me, Boomer? You didn't have to. So we'll say that's Bertie's game. I guess let's roll initiative. Let's just do this properly, shall we?

My damn hand. Three. My damn hand. You got all this. It makes it spikier. We could just make you another hand. But the right side. Yeah.

Finally. You're a prince. You can do whatever you want. Man. The stuff Mark lets me get away with. Boomer. Three. Three.

Aquamanber. 16. Viper. Two. 30. 13. And then Zim, Zim, Zimzazor. He's just following behind you. You. 30. 13. And then Zim Zim Zim Zazor. He's just following behind you.

You got a natural 20. Of course he did. Of course he did. Freaking NPC. Yeah, my NPCs are the fucking worst. But they're not. They're the best. And it's dumb.

I hate it. It's the worst for you. Zim Zam is like, My sweet prince! Magic missile Fourth tier Oh my god Don't lay your hand on him

You insufferable slimy bastard Oh my god Zab Zab That almost killed Kim One, two, three I took a drink at very wrong 2nd level Fucking double Z

Triple Z Triple Z 3rd level That's the only note I've got Of this episode so far Kim at triple Z 64 plus 6 Oh mother

64 Oh my god Plus 6 This is a 4th level magic missile Christ Overkill magic 10 20 22 28 points of damage plus six it's a fourth level magic missile Christ overkill much ten twenty

twenty two twenty eight points of damage he's useful so you watch as the missiles slam into this this slime

which is now kind of pulling itself free chunks of it are blown off but it still keeps coming and so it's just like

oh shit you deal with this one team leader come on nope i'm gonna run where'd you run uh down the middle are you it's a 15 foot jump so it's an acrobatics or athletics jack i'm going to try can i enhance that with my key? Oh no So I've got like a Key that can give me the dash Can that enhance my jump? Yeah it does in fact I think it triples your jump distance

So I think at that point There's no point in even making a check Because you'll easily clear the 15 feet So you spend the key point you just sail over And you land in front of this adamantine door Sure I think we should just get through the door and close it.

Okay, that was Aquamanbers go. Bertie. So Mambas just... Run away. Gone. Like, what's the slime doing? It's coming out. It's coming for you. It's like this big black

amorphous blob. I'd probably just punch it again sure go for it but this time harder sure i mean i've seen what he's done to my cool little fist yeah punch it stuff it i'm gonna rage sure stupid blob um so i'm gonna rage and then punch it again uh with the same fist. I got a natural one, so that's... I mean, can you... Oh, you can't reckless because you're only a level one bard. No, I can reckless.

Oh, you leveled up, didn't you? Yeah, I can actually. You can make it reckless if you want. Yeah. 14 plus... Hits. It would now be eight. Yep, hits.

So 1d4 plus five now. Minus one damage. Yeah, that's the five. So three plus five, that's 8. And then 5 and 6 on sneak attack. Just add it out for me, please. 14, 19. 19.

Do I get anything for raging? So your fist takes another minus 1 penalty to damage rolls. Another plus 2. And you take another 8 acid damage. As you punch this thing, your fist begins melting huge chunks of it, sloughing off. So it's now minus 2 penalty to damage rolls. Another plus two. And you take another eight acid damage. As you punch this thing, your fist begins melting huge chunks of it, sloughing off. So it's now minus two penalty to damage rolls on your fist. One of us is going to die first.

You took the acid damage. Nice strategy. That's Bertie's go. Did you add the extra two for rage, by the way? No. So 60. Okay, I've added that. Boomer. Can I throw a bomb at it, please?

Oh. No, I'm sorry. It's go. It will attempt to whack Bertie. That's a 20 to hit you, Bertrand. 20 to hit me. Yeah, that hits. Ooh.

So this is going to be... So you're going to take... So you take 8 bludgeoning, which is halved because you're raging. So you take 4. And then you take... Oh, my God. Ooh. Oh, no.

27 acid damage. What? Holy Christ. And a minus one penalty to your AC. 27. Acid damage. Okay. Which is not halved.

And then a minus one to my AC. Yes. Which is permanent. Permanent? Yep. It's melting parts of your armor away. But I don't have armor. Oh, okay.

Don't worry about it. Okay. It doesn't. That's my unarmored defense. Yeah, no,'t have armor. Oh, okay. Don't worry about it. Okay. It doesn't... That's my unarmored defense. Yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah, if you're wearing armor. He's melted my muscles away. Christ.

Boomer, now it's your go. Yeah, I think I might die first. Can I... It's like melting your skin off. Get off me can we check a bomb at it then not the necklace but the you know I've got regular bombs

you never gave me how much damage that is I think they're like alchemist fire so it's like 2d6 so it's like a ranged weapon attack so what do I roll so it's if you're shooting with a ranged weapon so if you have a ranged weapon on your character sheet. I've got dagger, hammer and a great club.

So dagger. 22. Yep. Two. Yep, that hits. So you get one of these little alchemical firebombs. You throw it at it. Do I get sneak attack?

Sure. I mean, I'm only going to play feet with it. Yeah. I I get sneak attack? Sure. I mean, I'm only within five feet of it. Yeah. I mean, you're taking this damage as well. Roll the damage, please. I'm also like two feet up as well.

I'm alive. Eight. Eight points. So you watch this firebomb go off, blowing off chunks of this acid, but also, like, burn his throat to the side. Like, he falls more in the slime. Oh, soz, mate! No!

And then finally, with the two-initiative Black Viper. Yay! How did you even get two? I have no idea. There it is. Mistakes happen. Oh, it's because, yeah, you would have added your dex as well,

but you still beat us. Whatever. I think I'm going to run through the vault and just shoot my crossbow at the... So you run to where? Acromambers, or you're going to jump over the bridge? You're going to run to where? Acromambers.

Okay, yeah. So give me an acrobatics to jump over the gap. Ah, ba-da-ba-ba.a bar is. Okay, yeah. So give me an acrobatics to jump over the gap. 23. Oh, easy. Nice. Like a pro expert, and then with a hand cross, you turn around, take a shot at the slime. Cool.

15. Hits. Nice. Then 1d6 plus 4. And then add your sneaker deck damage to this. And sneakers damage. Oh, nice. 46. What the hell? Black Viper is an NPC. 3d6. 3d6 plus 4. And then add your Sneaker Deck damage to it. And Sneaker's damage. Oh, nice. Which is 4d6.

What the hell? Black Viper is an NPC. 3d6. 3d6, sorry. So it's 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. 15. 12, 15. 17.

Oh, God. 23. 23. So this crossbow bolt, you kind of aim it perfectly. You wait for the perfect shot, you fire it. The force of the bolt sailing through the air disperses the rest of the remaining ooze as it's just splattered across the floor and walls

and is defeated. Black paper! Oh, I'm sorry, Bertie. Do you have any potions on you? Uh-oh, my sweet prince! I'm real hurt. Didn't you buy any potions on you? Uh-oh, my sweet prince. I'm real hurt. Didn't you buy any potions? I got this.

I'm going to quaff my potion. Is it the bottle of piss? It's the potion of speed. Boomer doesn't know, does he? I got it off an old woman. Oh, yeah, she said it was piss. Yeah, that's not going to help. You have no potions, right?

I got this. It's an oil flask. That's not... No, that's not going to help. You have no potions, right? I've got this. It's an oil flask. That's not, no. Oh. That's not a potion. Wink. I drank a potion. Of what?

Great healing. Okay, you're just drinking it? Are you even hurt? I was at 3 HP this whole time. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I'm like, if that happens again, I'm going to die.

So, wink. Wait, even when we were up with the giant? Wow. Wow. What the hell? the giant When you say something 16 HP Hey, I got this and it's a hot you bought some flirt floor you and I can remember bought bunch And you didn't buy me. Because he's Bertie. He's not going to buy potions.

All right. You don't even have any money. I have no money. I spend it all on food. Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I should have... It's all right. From now on, I will make you constantly invisible, my prince.

Wow. So no one can hurt you. Oh, cool. Can we get to the doors, please? Thank you. I would like to give Bertie a greater healing potion. You're going to feed it, force feed him? Come on, little fella.

Imagine you're sitting down. I'm like, come on, little fella. I rest my massive head on your knees. Thank you. Oh, Boomer will fix you up. That's weird. I'm not comfortable with that. Just roll the dice.

That's like weird fetish territory. It's all right. I'm dice. That's like weird fetish territory. It's alright. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bertie. I'm so sorry. There was my bad. I should have

oh boomer. I should have bought you some potions earlier. What a noise. Oh Rhiannon I love it when you join us.

I just can't. 16 HP. You feeling better buddy? I feel 60 needs me you feeling better I wasn't going for that territory very nice and innocent very much bringing the tone down. He did it. He's just being a little baby. Yeah, that's weird. Why?

Just because I'm sipping from the... A sippy cup. From a sippy cup wearing a diaper. I don't think it's weird. Guys, honestly. Grow up. I've lost it. I'm so sorry. Why do you let us do this

grow up you two come on it's my pee here just two friends looking out for each other aquamumber and black viper

um are you looking at this high five me we did it we counted the M High five, mate We did it, we counted the M I'm going to pretend I didn't see that And I'm just going to turn around And try and open this door

Investigating first the trap Okay, so Make an investigation check for me Investigation Investigating first the traps. Okay. So, yeah, make an investigation check for me. Investigation. Eleven. Eleven. So you don't find any traps.

Do you speak Dwarvish? Let's see. What would that be on D&D beyond? Languages. Proficiencies on languages. No. Okay. So there is text written in some sort of

runic language you don't understand Zeros speak runic runic there there Bertie I don't think I wrote them down are runes giant

I don't think she would speak it yeah they have a I would say that with giant you can it shares a very similar language to

dwarvish so you can kind of partially read it but you're over there. Yeah, you're not by the door. He's resting up. Yeah. I can comprehend languages if you require

team leader. Do it. Alright. And Misty steps over to the door because he wasn't going to make the jump because he's old. So you say, ah! You always surprise me. I'm surprising. I'm surprising. I can't comprehend languages. Ah, it is written in Dwarvish And the inscription reads

A secret never told before Will part Dumothoyn's lips And there is a fresco here Of the Dwarven god Dumothoyn On the door A secret never told will pass whose lips? Will part Dumothoyn's lips Dumothoyn on the door. Secret never told. We'll pass whose lips? We'll part Dumothoyn's lips. Dumothoyn's?

He is the dwarven god of secrets. And he's on that fresco? He's on this door. He points to the engraving on the adamantine door. Is there anything around his lips or anything around his mouth? There's like a... Yeah, it's probably split right down the middle. It splits his lips like that.

It runs down the middle of his face. Can we put something in there? A secret? Some sort of secret? You probably just tell it to it. Secret? I'm giving you a secret. Do I have to kiss it?

No, you have to tell it something you've never told anyone else before. I'm yelling because I'm the only one who's heard this. Well, like, Zimzam looks nervously at Black Viper and Aquamanber. Black Viper, you're going to have to reveal some very personal information for this god of the warps. It's unfortunate that it lands on you, but I think it's spoken. Okay.

Um, I don't flush. Yeah, knowing the character, that is a secret that she never would have told anybody. You just hear a, the secret has been told. She does not flush. The giant heads and Rick and Morty are like, Not cool! The doors pop, and it reveals a square room with a spiral stone stair leading down.

You don't flush. Oh my god. I always forget, I'm always in such a hurry. God. I just do my business and I leave You're the worst. I'm so sorry I'm so you're a lovely young woman, but now I'm I'm offended Right come on you two let's go buddy. You gotta get going going again you're all right mate yeah i'm feeling real

good let's do this hey do you want to yeah if i could just hop on and you can get us over it forward like on his back like riding in i just i just walk across he's done um oh yeah you just fly across and you get the door? Walk across, yeah. So you head down the stairs. Thanks for joining us. Hey. The stairs descend for quite a distance. I don't want to talk about you. The spiralling staircase leads down and down and down.

And eventually you emerge in a deep underground chamber. The vault is lit by streams of sunlight that pour down from gemstones in the ceiling. And they catch motes of dust in their luminous pools ornate columns support a 30 foot high vaulted ceiling which is adorned with carvings of dwarves basking in the presence of their gods deep alcoves line the walls and piled in one of them is an enormous horde of gold coins. Finally! Yes!

In another alcove, you see piles of gemstones. And as you make your way into the room, you hear footsteps coming from where the gold coins were. An aged dwarf clutching a staff, carved and painted to resemble a pair of entwined dragons, one red and one gold, appears. Despite his age, his eyes are pretty steady and bright. I wasn't expecting anyone.

Oh, here we go. As you can see, the place is a bit of a mess. Perhaps you should have. I'm trying to do more of a Patrick Stewart. There we go. Perhaps you should come back later after I've tidied up a little. Okay. We're okay with now.

Excellent. We're fine with now. Well, it's been a while since there's been anyone down here. You know what? It's way more tidier than my place. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. It's very kind.

You've got a lot of nice possessions here, mister. They're not mine. I'm simply looking after them. Right. Well, she doesn't flush, and we're in here now. So I feel like we've earned it. Disgusting. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid not, my friend. This is not to be taken. I'm its guardian. Oh, you're its guardian. My apologies. What's he nine, guardian? My name is Barok Klanghammer. How long have you been here, sir?

Oh, quite a while. Must be pretty boring. It is, but I have everything I need. You looking for a replacement? No. Damn it. I'm afraid it's more of a sacred duty. A large fellow.

Yeah. Don't really want to get on the wrong side, do you? He just smiles. I imagine that the people up in the city above would not want to mess with such a man. Is the wrong side my back? Yeah. Yeah.

He's quite funny. Yeah. Well, you can see Zeb is just like... Freaking out. It looks like we're at an impasse and we're going to have to go. Can I, while he's having the conversation, can I go up to Zeb and just be like, what's the deal, big fella?

It's magic. It's very, very magic. Ball the magic. It's very magic. Sweet. So we're gonna die. Just, Zeb just, yeah, it's like, he's like focusing on this little

old dwarf who's just like, hello. Uh, Aquamumba? I suppose you've come a long way Would you like a cup of tea? Is it poisoned? No So as long as we don't touch anything You're not gonna kill us

As long as you don't disturb the treasures I've been sent to guard Unless of course you're here Well, you would know if you were here For the right reasons. Yep. You got any biscuits? I'm afraid not. No.

Excuse me one second. I got a call. I'm going to walk away and listen to the Stone of Galore. Okay. So what's up with him? Ah, I'm afraid this is one thing I do not have much knowledge on.

Great. This is the Guardian. Yep. That is all I know. That's all you know? Yes. Great. Glorious.

I'm going to throw you. Do you throw the stone? Where into? Just behind the door into the treasure pile? Just throw it. Yeah, okay. In annoyance. He looks at it, he's like, strange.

You possess the Stone of Galore? Yep. I'm assuming it is the stone that led you here. Absolutely. How curious. How did you come across the stone? It was given to us. Birthright. Birthright? Who by? A queen. You can make a deception check if you like.

The rest of the dice. All right. A one. Okay. Get off Twitch chat. Get on your stats. What is your deception on its own out of interest? Plus six.

Okay. Jeez. Oh, my good lord. Oh my good lord 49 55 Interesting What about the rest of you? They are my loyal servants

I would like to hear from them Well they're loyal servants You may speak freely. Thank you. Yeah, we're just assisting them. We're just helping them get here. Wait, did you get this phone from your mom? Deception check, please.

Nice. Yes, buddy. He's very... Dumb. Dumb. But he's very hardy. Deception. What would deception be?

Charisma. It would be plus four, the same as what you made before. Okay, cool. Sixteen. Okay. And what of you, goblin? Strange company to be keeping. Here we go.

I have no problem with your kind, as long as your kind do not wish harm on others. Senior frescoes. Ah, they belong to the ancient dwarves, not me. Are you not an ancient dwarf? He just smiles. Okay. Yeah, that, uh, never-remember-chap

sent us. Deceptions. With advantage. Your meager dice that you have left. Use that last one. There's two. With advantage. Your meagre dice that you have left. You didn't use that last one. There's two. There's two left. I'm cruel. Okay, now there's one left.

Deception. Deception. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. Okay. And what have you? The large one.

Huh? I'm a prince. You're a prince. A fresh prince. Yeah. And why are you here? Well, because I wanted to go on an adventure with my friend Boomer. I'll wave.

That's pretty good. Deception check, with advantage. With advantage. There's one dice left, but I won't use it. Okay. 12 and 11. Wait, what is it? Persuasion.

I have deception. Proficient. Oh, no. I'm not proficient in that. Oh, that turns into... Actually, no. You're telling the truth. It is persuasion. Okay. He's just hanging along with me.

Cool, so 14. Okay. Eli eyes you curiously. Well, I believe the Goliath is a prince and is on an adventure with his friend, the goblin. Hi. I'm not sure if you truly are sent here by Never Ember. It makes sense if you have the Stone of Galore.

You are obviously assisting this royal matter. Correct. Some sort of agent of the crown. Absolutely, noble gods. But your friend here. I'm afraid that I don't trust her presence. She has a strange look about her. She doesn't flush.

And then you watch as his form begins to shimmer gold, and the staff drops to the ground, and his little dwarven body envelops in a large golden light as he transforms into a huge gold dragon. Yep. What's happening to this shit? We found the gold dragon. That's what we were looking for.

Ha ha ha ha, yes, indeed, you have found it. I am Orinax, the patient guardian of this treasure. Give yourself that title, sir. It was given to me by Lord Neverember when he asked me to guard this place. Okay. Cool. So can we have the treasure?

Afraid I don't fully trust you. I'm rolled really high. What do you want from us? Like... Why do you want the treasure? Is this for your own personal gain? What do you intend to do with it? Cure world hunger.

Oh, the queen wants it. Fix the wage gap. And bring peace to everybody. Or... And bring peace to everybody. I want to make you roll just because you're saying it in such a shitty way. Like you're being such an asshole to him. That's how I said it. Yeah, persuasion. One dice left.

Just take it. Oh! That's, um... He's dead. Nine. What about you, Prince? What would you do with this wealth? I don't know.

It was only getting like 250. The dragon laughs. It's just like... Indeed. I just kind of wanted to see it well now you have cool see you goblin ah the city kind of want it back turns out never ember bezelled a lot of it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's necessarily a persuasion. I'm not lying. Well, it's not necessarily you're lying. It's whether you are... He's believing that you are

true with your intent of, like, you actually care about the city. What did Boomer actually want? He didn't really want the money. That's the thing. So I think... Shits and giggles. So I think the fact that you're saying, like, you're not saying that you want it,

you're not lying. Make a persuasion check just for me. I just want to see what you get. Eight. Eight. Okay. He doesn't look at you because he already thinks you're a liar.

Is that dead? That's dead. We're out. Just a dragon, don't worry. It's fine. In a dungeon. Just do a dragon. Just a dragon, don't worry. It's fine. In a dungeon. Just a dragon. It has been a long time since anyone has come here,

but I'm afraid that I am not convinced. I have some of you have come here with good intent, but not all of you. As you travel together, so you shall be judged. This treasure is not yours, halfling. It belongs to Lord Never Ember, and it is through a sacred duty and vow that I swore to protect it. It and the dragon staff.

Technically, it belongs to the city. He embezzled it. What? No. Dagolt would never have done such a thing. Eh. I don't know. I was just meant to find it for the city,

so I'll just go tell him where it is. He, like, the dragon pauses. Like, he does seem to be quite concerned at what you've just said. You say Dagult stole this money. Embezzled. Do you have any proof that you could present me? Aw, the lady told me. Which lady?

Silverhand. Silverhand? Afraid she is not somebody I know of. She, like, rules this place. What? No, Daggold, never ember is the lord. Kim question. Yes.

What, who's Silverhand? So, no, you're right. She is the lord kim question yes what what who's still so no you're right um she is the open lord daggall never remember was the open lord he embezzled all the money and then he got kicked out of his position and fled to another city and then she's taking it over now she wants the money back to help the city what you're saying is all true yeah is he just thinking he just he it seems to me you're getting the impression that he's been down here so long, like he was put here back when Dagult was in charge and now he doesn't know about all this other stuff.

Yeah. Like, he's gone because he did the stealing, the fancy stealing and like there's silver hand ladies now in and she wants the money back to put back into the city, which is why we're here hi then i shall make a deal with you goblin if you find this silver hand woman and bring her to

me with proof of daggold's embezzlement i will bequeath this money back to the city and entrust the staff to this new ruler cool Cool. What does the staff do? It is a powerful relic. It protects Waterdupe from other dragons. Any dragon touched by it is permitted to get close to the city. Other dragons are warded away. It would be very valuable to those who wished harm to the city. Fair.

Don't you want to pop your head up above the surface and just see what it's like? Seems like you've been down here a long time, mate. I would, but I cannot do it until I am sure that this... If what you say is true, then this gold must be returned to the people of Waterdeep. Once that is the case, then perhaps I will leave this place. Maybe stock up on some biscuits. My food supply is getting a little low I'm running low on gemstones What about tea?

I can just conjure tea But a dragon does not live on tea alone So are we not getting tea? I can make you some Because you said you were going to make some Yes, would you like some? A huge hulking dragon to just be pouring He just taps his claw on the ground

and like a little table with a tea set kind of appears. Oh, hey, nice. All right, cool. I'm going to take a seat. Earl Grey, hot. Excellent. Yeah, so what's the plan? So, I mean, because we haven't got a lot of time.

Why? So I mean we got like because we haven't got a lot of time Why? Because the really cool guy is following us He's not cool he's a bad guy and he wants the staff to take over the city Well you would have to get through me He's a very powerful man I am a very powerful dragon Perhaps if you were to assist me in defeating him that would prove your loyalty

Absolutely you take the lead we'll back you up I'm game Perhaps if you were to assist me in defeating him That would prove your loyalty Absolutely You take the lead, we'll back you up Then you intend to remain here Until this He'll be here Then in that case, you may rest here But I assure you If you try and take anything of my treasure

Or the treasure, it will be your doom Look, the only idiot here is Birdie. I sleepwalk. So if, like, I wake up and stop wandering around, that's me sleepwalking. I have a solution to that. Lie down. Okay. He puts a claw over you.

Oh. Now you will not move. It's real snug. Scalium warm. It's, like, really warm. Oh, it's really warm. It's like really warm. Oh, it's really warm. It's just making me feel really... Yep, he's gone. I think with that

Bertie is taking a long rest. You can all take a long rest here. Yeah. Got any beds? No. I sleep on the gold. Of course you do. Of course you do. You may sleep there. Point to the ground. I've got a bedroll anyway.

Do we do hit points? Zebzeb conjures a magical rope out of nothing, climbs it, and disappears. What? He pokes his head out. He's like, I'm going to sleep in my room. I've got wizard business to deal with. Is that not fair?

Do you want to stay up here with me? Wash your hands! A rope gets pulled up. It's called Rope Trick. It's a spell. You literally conjure a little extra-dimensional space. You climb up a rope and you just sit in it for like eight hours. It's basically the magic

treehouse spell. It's so dumb. I love it. It's so dumb. Remind me how hit points work. So dumb. I love it. It's so dumb. Remind me how hit points work. So you can spend hit dice. Every time you roll it you get your con mod

added as well. Oh not on long rest? No you can spend them on long rest. Oh no long rest you get all your hit points back and then half your

hit dice. Bam. Done. You hear the heavy breathing of the dragon as you sleep, but it's quite rhythmic and peaceful. Sweet. You hear the heavy breathing of Bertie.

Really got to get that scene too. Let's see how many charges you get back on your helm. Oh, yeah. One. Oh, bam. There's the way out. Can I D3 my chart ring of right? Yeah, sure. Although I suppose... I'm going to. Oh, yeah. One. Oh, bam. There's the way out. Can I D3 my chart and ring it right?

Yeah, sure. Although I suppose... I'm going to get one, right? One. I've got it back. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

So you take a long rest and when you wake, you probably wait another sort of like hour before anything happens. Like you just rest, you maybe get some food or something like that

and you're kind of sitting around waiting. Can I play cards with a dragon uh he probably doesn't play cards he probably just kind of he probably watches you play with everybody else like he'll probably observe it and he's very annoying in that he points out everything you're doing wrong um and he like before anybody says he's like oh he has nothing you can see it in his face he's like he's like really insightful so he just reads everybody and gives everybody away. Also I look over at his hand. I'm a fucking dragon.

You begin to hear voices kind of descending the staircase that you left open as you begin to hear what is taking them so long? God, you hire some people you hire contractors, they just, they dilly-dally all the time.

God, you've got a job, do it yourself! And then you see as he is greeted, we see this shot of Jarl Axel walking down, looking up and seeing this dragon, and then the four of you. And you can see that there is a small army art like a small army of drow behind him he's got the two gunslingers and then a whole group of his crew from the ship and he's got a rapier in his hand and he's like ah as he comes down i think that's where we're probably gonna

the final shot is literally that silhouette of him and his army and all of us like really relaxing in front of a fucking gold dragon behind us. An adult gold dragon just like you made a friend. That's probably the last line is like Bertie looks up and he's like

hey, made a friend. And then that's where we see the shot end. Man. Cool. So next time So next time the final episode

is the battle for the Vault of Gold Dragons. Holy crap. Vault of the Gold Dragon. Holy crap. Vault of the Gold Dragon. Hey, thank you for listening to this episode, and thanks to Idle Champions for sponsoring the series. Use the link in the description to play the game and earn us dice for the final episode next week.

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