Higher Learning with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay - A Higher Learning Rewind: Parents Day

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

Let's take it back to Nov. 27th, 2021: Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay are joined by their parents for a special, parents day edition of 'Higher Learning.' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Trading derivatives involve significant risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Manage your activity with our consumer protection tool. Restrictions apply. See terms at Fandul.com slash predict slash bonus dash offer dash terms. Well, Rachel is stunning. You know what? It's so nice to have positive vibes on the podcast because your son doesn't give me comments.

Well, you know, I watch you guys. I see him. That's what he does to people who he actually loves. Tell me all the secrets. Tell me all the secrets. I'm getting ready to give you some real tips, though. What you really need to know is, like, people he's absolutely crazy about. He respects and he really likes and he appreciates their talent.

That's what he does. So I don't know why. We would prefer to be kissed and hug and cuddle, but he doesn't do that. He's like, plucked in the side of your head or thing to you, like, not so great. You know, you've done an excellent job, and you know you have, and he's like, well, you know, you've got a little improvement going on.

You could do that, you know. Right. But he loves you, absolutely. I love the insight. Wait, so thought warriors, what you're hearing right now is the voice of, oh, look at her drinking. the voice of... I've earned the right to drink.

Yes, you have. Of the other part of me, my soulmate, actually not my soulmate, my soul creator. I don't know how to... I don't have the adjectives. I don't have the adjectives to discuss who my mother. Okay, you can be this my mom. I can easily be your soulmate because your soulmate is not necessarily

somebody you're in love with, person who you love and respect. I can meet or so. Right. Okay. So there it is. I can't get through the intro. It's Crystal Ellis.

My mother is joining us today. Parents Day here on Higher Learning. Everybody clap for my mama right now. Mom. Thank you guys. Mom. First of all, Mama, what you, what you're drinking on? This is a little cavosier.

Cavosciate. Yeah. A little cognate. So why are we drinking? Because I want to. And I can. I'm 65 years old. Yes.

Yes, you can. And you even have it in the proper glass. Like she's sipping. You're a whole mood right now. You know, my whole thing. I can do that. So, you know, I can. I know, I know that you can.

I know that you can. I know that you can. Don't, don't, look, mama, I want, uh, there's a lot of stuff we can talk about, right? Yeah. I'm sure Rachel has a lot of questions that have to do with me and stuff like that. It is parents. We're, we're celebrating.

That's all I want. That's all I ask for. You want that real. Mom, that's all I want, yes. But before we do it, can you please tell the story of you and Keith Knighton with the etching pencil when you got to Glasgow Middle School? Yes, this is going to give you guys an example of where I come from and how I look at the world and how long we've been going through some of the things we've been going through as black people.

Tell everybody what happened to you when you got transferred to Glasgow Middle. Okay. First of all, let me explain this. None of us black kids wanted to go. So everybody who thought integration was a big thing that we all wanted to run there and go to school, we absolutely did not because we left teachers who treated us like mothers and loved us. But just so happens. The first day I was going to Glasgow.

And I got off the bus. I was always a lingerer because I didn't kind of chill with groups too much. So I lingered, got out of. the bus and the duty teacher was standing up against the pole and this big tall monster of a white guy. He was huge, you know? To me, I mean, I was only like, you know, at that time, I was like like five, two or five, three. I was running tracks. I was like a hundred and some pounds, right? So he turned around when I got off the bus and he said something, he said, um, nigger, you know, said, you can't find your way, nigger. And when he said, nigger,

I just kind of looked at him and I said, your mammy is a nigger. That's good. I mean, I didn't know what else to say about that. You know, that's who the nigger is. You know, a piece of dried up shit who does not know how to act with people because that's what a nigger is. And so he took me, he turned around and he took his fist.

He punched me in my eye. He actually assaulted me in such a way that after he punched me in my eye. I ran and I jumped on his back. And he flipped me over his back. and he took his foot and he stumped me in my stomach. And the duty teacher was standing up against the pole smoking a cigarette. It's just this little girl, right, from Stavbert Rouge. And he was huge.

So my eye was messed up and I was hurting. And when I went to my first hour class, it was all right. And so he was standing at the table, you know, in the corner. And he did not see me walk in. You happen to be in your first period art class. He was right there, right there. That's because God will do things for you, amen. And he was standing there, and I looked at him and I saw itching pencil.

And I didn't care. Tell people what the etching pencil is. An etching pencil, tell him. So the etching pencil is the pencil. It's like the pencil on one side, right? But then on the other side, it's got the little spike thing, like the little metal thing, right? You guys have seen this, use it to make a circle or whatever, it called an etching pencil or whatever.

So that was one of those. So I saw him and I grabbed the etching pencil and I walked up behind him and I just like stabbed him three quick times and he screamed. He screamed like a little whining baby. I'm like, what kind of punk are you?

You know, you have just... You stabbed him in the back with an etching pencil. Three quick times. Three quick times. Three quick times. I got three quick times. Three quick. Okay, cool. And I did. And so what happened was the children out the class, ran to get the principal or the assistant principal. But in the meantime,

here comes the teacher and she faints, of course, what the white ladies was doing back then. She faints, right, which made it all the words. And blood was spewing out of him everywhere. And he was screaming. And I was standing and looking at him like, how are you screaming for? Why are you? I really, and going through my mind, I'm like, you have just beat me unmercifully. And you're standing here screaming because I stabbed you in the back. I didn't understand it. Okay. I mean, I understand. Wait, he was the guard or he was a student?

No, he was a student, just like me. And this is the first day? First day. So, but let me tell you how good, how things happened. So, of course, I walked from Glasgow, which was, it was almost like, I would say, four miles. So I walked from Glasgow to our house, right? To the home where we lived. By the time I got there, my dad was coming.

to home because he was working at the post office. So he got home. I walked in. He looked at my like my, oh, I can tell you that, the assistant principal took my hand and put it behind my back. And he twisted it up and dislocated it and put his foot in my back and pushed me off campus. So that's where I was. That's where us little black kids, that's what we had the experience with no counseling,

nobody to defend us really except our parents. So my dad goes against me in the car. We go back to the school. Of course, the assistant principal coward locked himself in the office. Wouldn't come out. You know what's going to happen. Right. And then I get expelled.

So there was one girl. I'm not going to call a full name because I've checked on all these people are still alive. I don't know my Steve is still. But anyway, there was one girl, it's a white girl. And she witnessed. She said, no. This is what happened. She hurt.

Right. He stabbed her. So I ended up No, he beat her up. Now you stabbed him, but she vouched for him. Yeah, I stabbed him, but she witnessed to the stabbing.

She was ridiculed the entire student. Like when I said she was treated like shit, she was. The teachers, kids, white kids, like they hated her because she took up for me. The only thing happened to Steve was that they put him out of school and then sent him to another school district so he could send him. What happened to me? was I ended up at the school board.

My parents had to go to the school board. We had to have a head of trial. They had to say that, you know, I had to have a witness that said what he did to me. But that's what happened. The first day, I did not, we didn't want to be integrated. You didn't want to be integrated.

Interesting. Didn't I want to be integrated. For reasons like this. What grade? Seventh grade. We didn't want to be integrated. Why? I'm going to tell you why, because they took us from teachers

who were like us, who had an interest in us and who loved us and sent us to teachers who hated us. You know how it feels to be sitting in the assembly and guys are getting bricks and putting them in socks and swinging them and just throwing them on your side and busting you in the head?

And when we start doing it back, the principal said, I don't care whatever direction comes, I'm going to expel the whole area. Where they get the bricks from, though? Who was bringing bricks to an assembly? Was they like handing out bricks like before y'all walked in there?

Like, where was the bricks? No, the white kids were doing it. We brought out our own. You know, we had ours in our purses and our backpacks on the bus because we gotten tired of it. So what you're telling me is before school, y'all would like round up bricks. I mean, we started doing it when they did it. So it's a savage time we're living in because I'm not saying it's not true. I'm just saying, think about that.

It's going, y'all having an assembly. Maybe the assembly is to go over new cafeteria rules or something like that. And y'all know that the assembly is Tuesday. So what y'all do is y'all bring bricks to school to throw at each other. We had to defending themselves. That was not something that we as black students invented. Right.

We learned to come to incentives and duck. I mean, seriously, they would bring. That's crazy. What fun. Wait a minute. We learned to duck. Oh, shit. Oh, excuse me, Mama.

I'm not. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't believe this one. So let me ask you a question, Mama, real quick, just real quick. How many times did somebody have to get hit in the head before y'all learned a duck? Y'all didn't learn a duck the first time. It's coming. Oh, it's just a brick.

But then after, how many times did somebody have to hit before y'all said? We didn't think it was going to be, it didn't, we did not think as students that that would keep up, keep up. You know, I know, I know, I know, son, you. Well, I could say about after maybe the fifth assembly. It's a mom. It's a five assemblies. Wait a minute. Because Van is getting a visual right now.

It was because you said they were slinging. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, five assemblies of bricks, right? And they're on a six assembly. So they go together. It's like, listen. Okay. On the real. Y'all need to.

This assembly, we're going to try something different. When they throw the bricks, we're going to get out the wood. Van. Rachel, please don't laugh. No last. I laugh me because I'm uncomfortable. Listen, let's start with that. Let's start with that.

That's why I feel like he's deflecting because he knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. So let's start from the beginning. I even put this on social media. I said thought warriors. That's what we call our listeners.

Is there something? I didn't say that you were going to be on the podcast, but I'm like, is there a question you want to ask Van's mom? There's anything you could ask. I got a lot of questions. I mean, answers. Wow. So a lot of people want to know.

And the main thing people want to know is what Van was like growing up. Van is an excellent storyteller. Excellent. But I know you can tell better stories. And when I say stories, I would like the embarrassing ones, the funny ones, the ones that he has will not tell. I could only get from you. So what was he like from? Oh, please, yes.

I wish I had my coniac with me. I'm sure you want to quit. Okay, so, man, love Superman. He loved him. The little boy, Superman came out fascinated him. Like, he was fascinated. He loved Superman. So if you notice him, if you get up on him close,

there's a little dent right here in the middle of his forehead. Lean into the camera, Van. Lean in, Van. Okay, okay. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. So, Van, almost. causing a heart attack because

for some reason Van decided that he was going to get on the steps at the house up on the top part and he wanted depression being invisible. He took... No! We were sorry about this. That's what he did. Okay, Van. Remember what you said

about me? He was going to use his invisible Superman ability, right? No, it was x-ray vision. X-ray vision, that's right. X-ray vision. So Van puts the cape over his head. and for some reason Van Leaped

and when Van Leap, Van Leap, that concrete pillar and blood just shot everywhere because he, but it's still a little mark, little, it's still up in there.

Yeah, it was like, it was like all the way down to like the little yellow meat, right? Ooh. And he, the thing about it,

said he jumped back up. He jumped back up, right? He jumped back up like nothing happening. Me and Miss Alexander was literally having a fit. Losing it. Losing it.

Did you think that they couldn't see? Did you think you were still invisible? He made fun of me. I want you to know, Mom. He made fun of me because I said if I could have any superpower, I would want to be invisible. And he said that that was weird. Now, here we are, and I'm learning,

you've been wanting to be invisible since back in the day. She was losing it. I looked at my mom's eyes. And by the way, I think I'm only like three or four at this time. I'm very young. So maybe a little older, but like I look at my, I look at my mom's eyes

and I remember seeing her shiver, seeing her body tremble, and they took me to the hospital. I don't remember what happened when I got to the hospital, but I do remember this. How did the stitches come out? Do you remember this, mom?

No. You were combing my hair one time? Like, you're talking about stuff that maybe people need to investigate. Like when you were combing my hair one time One time you were combing my hair And you looked and you were like Is it time for those to come out?

And I can't remember who was around Maybe Kim was there And they're like Crystal What you're doing? And you started picking at the stitches With the cone You started picking Sacrifices the mother will make for our children

I'd never forget this You started picking at this All of a sudden You started taking this stitches out. Well, they were ready to come out. Didn't go to the hospital to get the stitches out. You started taking the stitches out. And then I remember

under the stitches, there was like a, uh, when they come out, it didn't hurt. It was just, but there was their skin and coming off with that. I remember. Yeah, it's scat. And then like, I saw the little white part. And then that scar right there has, it's harder to see now, but that scar has never left. From when I, from when I walked out of stairs. You're the one who covered yourself up with the cape and took a leap.

It was going to be a scar no matter what. Look, first of all, here's the thing that you guys don't have to understand. You guys are looking at this in hindsight. The reality is, what if I would have discovered that I had x-ray vision? Okay. Then what? No. Then what?

Then what? I believed in myself. And so I believed in myself. I believe that I could see through, by the way, through a towel is what I put over my head. Exactly. I believe that I could see through the tile. Not a curtain. where you might have been able to see a little bit something through a towel.

Right. I'm like, what the, I don't, I can't even tell you how, how shocked I was. Did you remember what that's it? Huh? You remember what that's it? No, I don't. Said something wrong with that boy. Well.

Yeah. Well. What else do you like to know? Oh, is Van Amama's boy? Okay, so I'm going to say that he loves me. I'm going to say that he gives me the respect that I've earned from him, right? I'm going to say that for the most part, I believe. But he's not so much your mama's boy that he allows me to interfere with what decisions he makes.

Okay. That's good. That's actually the best way. Actually, I don't do it, me, kid. She doesn't get involved. She doesn't. See, see, here's the thing. Mom, I'm going to ask you a question.

Might be a little bit of a tough question. Okay? You know I'm going to answer it the way I see it. So you got to go to watch if you ask me. Okay. So this is a tough question. So I don't know anyone in my life. I don't know anyone in life who feels for other people like you do.

Who feels the pain of other people. I still remember being in that KFC in Hawthorne. Do you remember this? We're in the KFC in Hawthorne and there's a guy in the KFC and the guy looks like he's a little destitute looks like he's maybe homeless, right? Or whatever.

Mom walks over to the guy and tries to give the guy money so he can get something to eat and then the dude takes out a wad of money. A wad. And goes, a wad of money, don't worry, baby, I got plenty. That man must have just been coming from work.

Like he had a wad of money. But mom just can't get over. She just feels so deeply for everyone. And her children, it's like on 10. It's like on 10 when we go through something, she goes through it worse than what we go through it. Do you in any way feel like you've devoted too much of your life, your feeling, your energy

to the people around you and that you haven't in any way taken enough for yourself. You're an honest answer? The honest answer would be absolutely. And the reason I'm saying that is because we were raised in our generation

to give everything to everybody else, to be sure that everybody else was taking care of but us because we were not considered something to be taken care of during our era. It was my job. was to be sure that your dad had his breakfast and his clothes done and that you and Ebony had the clothes you needed and the food you needed and home-cooked meals, you know,

and stuff like that. It was, you know, and the way I was working, you knew I was almost hitting 12 hours a day when I was going to a loan officer and then coming home cooking for a meal. And then kind of came up. So if I'm going to answer you honestly, I'm going to say, yes, not that my love for anybody is decreased by what I said to you, but the idea that I realized here at 65 years old that there's so many things that you guys were strong enough to handle

that I over-nurtured you about, like just being that person who had to be there and huddle a little bit. So I would say yes, and then I would say no. So I'm kind of in the middle on that one. I don't, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know. There's no place I wouldn't go for you guys. But I should have, I should have known myself a little bit better because after your father and I divorced, I had no idea who I was, actually.

When I did, when I wasn't able to get up, even after our relationship, how it ended, I didn't have the ability to get up and truly make a decision. You know, you and Ebony, I was happy because you guys were grown. You were going down your own path, but yeah. So what do you think? Do you think that I gave too much to you guys instead of giving more to myself? Yeah.

And the only reason why, you know, I feel that way, number one, like what you just said, you talked about what sisters go through, you know? And for me, of course I do. Of course I do. But at that time, I got to be honest with you. I couldn't see it. The only thing I could see was that if you needed something, you went to mama. And now me being 40 years old,

I couldn't see what when people need peace and quiet, when people need you to help them by helping yourself or people need that. Like I couldn't see any of that. Only thing I could see then was that if I needed something or if something had to happen, then that was one person I knew that I could count them. And because of that, you know,

I probably went back to the way. a little bit too much. And I'm happy now that you are a successful writer and a successful business owner and that you have come to know yourself. And that makes me happier. That actually makes me happier honestly than anything. That that's actually, you know, been able to happen for you. And I just, since we're here, I am very, like, very proud of you.

Thank you. Yes. Well, thank you. That may be start crying because you're not got on mascara now. All of us. All of us. All of us. No, I love that you had that moment, Van, because what I was going to ask your mom is what is she most proud of you.

But I'll, and you definitely, Mama, I would love for you to answer. But I love that you took the moment to say what you're proud of her for. And I see where you get so much of you from, too. Yeah, it's all. What I'm most proud of, man. is that he's his own person, right? And he has created a world for himself, you know, outside of what, where he came from.

He didn't have a shabby, you know, upbringing, but he created a world for himself, right? So he came out here, I went to L.A. by himself, right? He jumped off and I remember Capricorn. Remember that? I can't remember Caputon, you know, he got in there and he worked his way in there. And there was, there was nothing that somebody could ask him to do that he didn't just go ahead and say, okay, let me do this, right? You know, let me, let me learn this.

I'm going to do this because this is knowledge. You know, it was like he humbled himself when he came out of. He learned a lot of lessons, too, right? But he didn't stop, right? He did not stop. And that's one of the things that I admire about him. And also that his heart, he is, he does have a loving nature, right? He kids a lot, you know.

He's frustrated quickly, you know, but his heart is like biggest Texas, right? So when I look at my son and I see him, I am, he's amazing to me because I look at somebody who actually struggled and strive to. get where they got. And then he had the love of other people. He actually melted in the hearts of others, right? And I can see that by looking at the post when people came behind him and, you know, and the things that people would say. You know, you see the negative stuff, but you know, there's a thing you can do for that. But that's what I love most about him. He tries to embrace. And he helps, he, I'll tell you, he loves you. He, he wants others around him. He's just not the guy who says let's try to do it. He wants to see everybody around him successful.

That's probably me because he doesn't want them borrow money for me, but I don't know. Or to bring him down. He wants to see everybody successful. So that part of him and his character, his nature, he's just loving nature, it really showed up, you know, when he went to the thing with that 30 miles on people. But it really showed up because it showed up because it showed that he's a man who says, you're not going to break me. No matter what the system does, you're not going to break me. You know, you know.

And if I have to take some time and go in, still not going to break me. Because he expresses unconditional love. He got that from me. That's the only way I made it. I had to embrace love. So I love that my son loves the way he does. And I love that my son encourages, right, everybody around him. He loves him.

but you picks on some people a lot. I like Van's so much more after talking to you. Really? I don't really do. I'm a fan now. She's the best salesman. So people have asked this about you because I mentioned it on the other podcasts way down in a hole.

I talked about some of the hoodoo that you've been accused. there's been accusations coming from my father's side of the family that you and Mammo is Mammo there? Mom! That you and Mom. They're telling people on national television

on this big of podcasts. We're hoodoos. Come here, Mom. I'm not saying that you guys are whodooers. I'm not saying that you guys are who doers. Come here, Mom. I'm saying that there's been some talk that there's some who-do stuff that's happened, that there's different practices

that you, if you look in the back there, You know, this is my grandmother. You look in the back. Hey, Momo. Hi, Mama. Hey, Mom, this is my- This is my grandmother right here. Hey, Momo, how are you doing, Mom? Beautiful.

Beautiful. This is my grandmother. Momo, is it true or not true that you guys are who-doers? The two of them. No, no. Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. That's the wrong terminology. We are Earth mothers.

I love that. Earth-mother. That's what we are. Earth mothers. And natural healers. Thank you. Earth mothers and natural healers. I'm a universal spiritualist.

Okay, I need to come home. I need to get down there. You do. Wait, wait, wait. Let us embrace the feminine divine energy of everything that we are. Because you know what? I'll tell you another reason why I'm being attacked us. Because I'll tell you why.

Can I tell you why real quick? They tell you why real quick. They tell you why real quick. They know of our. power. No, I'm not, I'm not attacking. I'm saying. I'll tell you why I'm saying this. I'll tell you why. Because one time

I was at the house and dad was in the house and dad walked out of the house and he saw some broken eggs down. He saw some broken eggs in front of the house and like near where the little garden thing was and some kind of thing. And it was like early in the morning. like 630, 645, you had just left early in the morning. And dad said, Ben!

And so, that's what you remember how he used to call me. And he calls me in there. And I hear his truck running, right? The truck is running. And he goes, and he says, I want you to come in. I want you to see something right now. I want you to see something. And I'm like, okay, dad, like, what's going on?

Like, it's early. It's early in the morning. And he goes, son, I know I can't never talk to you, because you don't want to believe nothing about your mama. You don't want to believe nothing about your mama. But I'm going to tell you something right now, boy. Come here. Look at this.

He's at your mama and your momo. They've some hoodoers. And they put no hoodoo spell on your daddy. They put the hoodoo spell on me. I'm telling you, if my tires busts out or something happened to my boots, I don't know why. I'm telling you right now, it's because your mama and your momo are some who doers. And I thought, you know, we've never really talked about whether or not you and Mamon are, in fact, who doers?

We've never had this discussion before. So while everybody's listening, I'd ask you two beautiful women. We're going to have to tell himself. First of all, from my experience in religion, and I have been, I'm a Baptist preacher's granddaughter deep in the church. okay, you know, doing everything that I thought was right, okay? So I was raised in the church. You were raised in the church, right?

But we were raised based on our environmental conditioning. Right. So I learned by, I learned by discovery and research and listening to that inner voice that I'm sorry to tell you. that one way is not the only way for anybody to get anywhere. Because if that was the truth, then we're going to say three-fourths of the other world. The world is going to go, I'm a universal spiritualist, which means every aspect of my ancestors, what they did, I'm talking all my ancestors.

I'm even talking about the white ancestry. Then Wiccans be working on something. We have white ancestry in us. Come on, let's be real. We're going to go ancestry. So I found out that all of this plays a part in the natural. frequency of the universe. I see you're laughing

back. So when you start talking witchery or hududum me, first of all, I give respect to the voodamus because that's a religion and a faith. You can look at me like you want some. I'm like, shit out of you. You get on.

I'm definitely going to home. Okay. Okay. When you do that, when you When you come at it like that, for one thing, you, you, you, you disrespect a lot of people. Your grandmother on your father's side. And your grandmother on your mother's side.

But let me tell you about your grandmother on your father's side. Oh, I know. I know. And your uncle Gil, Bishop G.T. Lathen, did some dark and unruly shit to people. Okay. I'm going to say that. So you can say whatever you want. I was scared of your grandmother on your daddy side a little bit because it's some raw shit to people, you know.

Yeah. And you can't say anything. You were terrified of it too. Oh, I was terrified. And I still know, I saw a lion. I saw a lion. I promised. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, my grandma,

the rest and peace, my mom, when I was a kid, I walked in that room and I saw a lion with wings. Yeah. I promise you, I saw a lion with wings. Terrified. Terrified. Terrified. It was a miniature one. Don't leave you there.

A little lion with wings flying around. It's a true story. See, we get into some real South Louisiana shit. I don't doubt you. I don't. You know how family of Louisiana. I don't doubt you. I saw a lion with wings. I don't know.

My band's talking about my room, but everything in my room is about a frequency of unconditional love. I mean, I would like to know what could you say about me as a universal spiritual. Nothing. You're talking about voodoo and voodoo. Who do? Let's get it straight. Who do? it's more or less alchemy where

if somebody wanted your man or wanted your woman there's certain things that they would do to their food or would have you in order to draw them near, right? Who doing you? I'm who doing you? I'm not saying nothing about a voodoo. Much respect. And I'm not saying I don't have, look, y'all who do it?

Don't mess with me because I ain't scared of them. I just want to say this out in the universe, right? So we'll have an understanding. I'm not going there. Stop being. with the hoodoo, but sometimes the things we do may look like hootoo. Right. But it's not. I get you. It's not, but it's not who do, right?

Because, and we all have respect for Jesus. And Jesus and Jesus, and we all believe in worship Jesus, right? Well, believe in what? Jesus, Christ. What about it? Is it okay? What about Yeshua? Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay, no, no school. Okay, no school. Because people are, nope. We got to have a part too. And I'm not saying at all that because my background is Christianity, okay? But guess what?

I was from the side of Christianity where I was a kid, kid, kid, kids sitting back there in the back. So I know what the deacons and my grandpa knows of him. Don't make me go there. He was a love preacher. Everybody loved your grandfather.

He loved him. But after he got out of church, raising that hand up, screaming that boss back saying, Jesus, he was in some ass. Well, and the point of it is They're all men. I mean, they are men. I'm serious.

I take up for him because he's a good father-in-law to me, and I loved him dearly. And he didn't do no more than the rest of those preachers did who had a swinging. You know what? They were all getting some. So, Mom, you think it's okay for preachers to go out and have a little bit of sex on the side is what you're saying, Ma'am.

Yeah. He can do it. All the rest of you y'all do it. All the rest of you doing? So why can't the preacher get him a little bit, too? Ain't no fun unless we all get some. You're right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. Listen, you, you ladies, I love the two of you guys so much. I love you. I love y'all so much. And I hope that people got a little bit of a taste of the, Amazing.

I can't wait to you get home, Van. We got something to you. So we can watch Carrie Mason together. Perry Mason. That's what me and my grandmother watch together.

Perry Mason, little Bill, sometimes a Matlock. Madlock. Now that's my show. No, no. Little bear. Little bear. Little bear, not little Bill's wrong.

Not little Bill. Little Bear, the little bear. All right, y'all, we got to run. Mamma, Mama, I love you. Thank you so much for I love you, darling. It's so nice to meet you both. It's nice to meet you too, Rachel. You're absolutely adorable. Thank you. You are beautiful. I can't wait to come home. I'm not playing.

You're not playing. And you got to come here when you come home. That's home. That's home. No, that's home. That's what I'm saying when I'm coming to y'all's place. All right. We're going to make you some gumbo girl. I can't wait. Gumbo with a side of hoodoo. I don't care. Who do me? I don't care. I love her. I love her.

Bye bye, mama. Bye. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Everyone knows winter is the MVP and making a mess. You don't need Weather Tech floor liners in the summer unless you hit the beach or go camping. Then you'd want a cargo liner or road trip goes sideways. Ketchup goes rogue, ice cream drips. Yeah, you'd be pretty happy about those weather tech seat protectors.

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Millions of business owners already trust Spectrum business. So visit Spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply. services not available in all areas. So for everybody who's just tuning in now, we got the Lindsay's in the house. We got my mom, Kathy Lindsay, and the judge, Judge Lindsay,

who is here via video if you're watching, which is a rare treat because you know if you follow me from Bachelor Nation, he is heard of but never seen. So this must be a big deal. Van, I'm shocked. I'm shocked at a damn shot. Should we just get into it?

Yeah, let's just get into it. A van's got the, van's got the question. So, yeah, I have a question. So people, well, first of all, I'm really happy that you guys, we're able to join us. Rachel, what do I need to know about Rachel?

Me and Rachel are, we have a good partnership, we have good chemistry. I pick on her a lot, right? A lot. I do pick on her a lot because she's already like a sister to me. But if somebody was going to meet Rachel, work with her, be a partner with her. What would they have

to know about Rachel? What's like the most important thing to know about it? Ladies first. She's real. What you get. Yeah, we've always tried to keep her grounded. She had the best

of all the worlds. Yeah, both worlds. Yes, both worlds. So that's the main thing. What you see is what you get. She's for real. Dad. I would say she is competitive.

She takes strong stands. She believes in whatever she's fighting for. And as my wife said, she is for real. So literally she does have the best of both worlds, although sometimes they did not understand why I had them in two worlds, while we had them in two worlds. but we told them they would be better individuals that be more prepared

than dealing with the world's issues. That is, I have always appreciated both worlds. So for those listening, you don't get it. My mom grew up in Houston, Texas, inner city, South Park, to be exact areas. Well, Fifth Ward, Fis Ward, let me get it right, and then South Park. My dad grew up on a farm.

I almost said Skid Row. Skidmore and Skidmore. I'm being in Beaville, Texas. So we got, you know, like the country life. We spend summers there. We spend some holidays there. And then with my mom's side, we got the inner city. But then my family's from Louisiana, like Van is from Louisiana, but he's from southern Louisiana.

My mom's side comes from northern Louisiana. It's a little bit more on the countryside out there, too. So we grew up a lot, you know, going to trail rides, family reunion. so we had a good mix. So that's what they mean. And I always appreciated that. I just would like to add. So best of both worlds,

when you say a mix, you're talking about of the country life and of the more sort of inner city life so that you understand the total experience. Why was that so important for you guys that she had both of those kind of different experiences? Well, I would say this, first of all. It's not just the country versus city.

You know, at one point, she and her sisters complained about going to a school that was predominantly white. And I told her as the unique you know how to function in that world because they are the ones who run the country. At the same time, we want to make certain that you stay grounded in your roots, know the other side. I always think blacks have the best of both worlds because most blacks know how to act when they're dealing with whites.

Conversely, a lot of whites do not know how to. act when they're dealing with blacks. And, I mean, for example, I tell my colleagues sometimes, look, I have no problem going to speak to a thousand people who are all white. But some of them would feel uneasy if they had to speak to a thousand blacks and they were white there. So we got the best of both worlds. And frankly speaking, if blacks within the majority, they may have the same view

the whites have now. But I think it's very important that you're able to function in both squirrels. And also always remember from where you came. That's right. That's right. That's why I didn't lose myself on the Bachelorette like they thought that I was going to. What was it like for y'all when y'all saw that she was going on the Bachelorette? Seriously, your, your little girl is going to go find love on the TV. What did y'all think when y'all heard that? It was everything against what we had raised her to be. Wow.

I mean, how do you find love within that short time with all those guys and all that kissing? And, you know, how do you navigate through that? I did not see it. But moreover, frankly speaking, I thought the show was pretty much scripted. She may dispute that, but the bottom line is with any shows, you got to produce this saying you need to do this or this or that because they're always concerned about the ratings. All the big networks, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News, CNN, all of them,

they want their ratings to be up. So they do not invest in shows that they think are going to be failures. And so sometimes you have to put things in there that are exaggerated to get the attention of the audience. And frankly speaking, I think sometimes you see people on those shows, they're really not like that, but they have to act like that because it sells the ratings. It ups the ratings. Now, did you ever see Rachel acting in a way on The Bachelorette that you didn't think she was really that way? He didn't watch. He didn't watch it.

He didn't watch it. I saw a few excerpts, but I did not watch it because, I mean, to me, first of all, I just do not think those shows, what should I say? Look at the disgusted look on his face. Those shows, I guess what I'm saying is more, for the most part, of fantasy world. Sure, there are times when people, quote, unquote, find love, or, find their mate and that's fine. A lot of times there's a lot of hype and frankly speaking, on the parts that I've seen, the individuals know what to say.

If they do not know what to say, the producers tell them you need to say this, you need to do such and such and such. So that's why I used a term earlier. I think many times the shows are scripted. I mean, not like a regular show, for example. You got a shows are supposed to last an hour. there's so much time for commercials. The outcome is already known because that's the way show's supposed to end.

When I'm in trial, I tell folks in the jury, this is not like TV. You always know the outcome. I do not know what the jury is going to decide in this case. Will the defendant be guilty or not guilty? Will the plaintiff recover $5 million or get zero? It's real in my courtroom. And I do not know how they're going to rule as a case per gruel. I can pretty much see how the case is going as to whom should win or as to whom should lose.

Also, we're very private. We're very private. Not anymore. This is going to take an area that we were totally uncomfortable with. And so that was my main concern. I love to make y'all uncomfortable. You know that, though. Oh, no, no, no. Live for it. Rach, Rachel, listen, you're not making me uncomfortable because there's only so much that I'm going to reveal.

The fact that I appeared on video, that doesn't mean you will not know the inner workings of my soul. Yeah. Whoa, okay. Like, as a kid, was Rachel rebellious or was she pretty, like, did she go along with the rules pretty much? She pretty much stayed within the lines. Rachel was more mischievous, I would say, if I were going to use the term, describe. I mean, not in a bad way. I mean, not in a bad way, but she was a strong independent street. In fact, several of my friends when I was working, when I was city attorney,

they would say, sir, Rachel is the strong will. She's going to be independent. I said, that's fine. I want to be independent because I want to be able to stand the ground on anything, hold her own in any situation. So we raised all of our daughters to be independent. We one thing will be independent. Mom? Strong will. Like my husband said, I saw that at three weeks. I told my husband,

no, this is going to be, she's going to have a strong personality. So. It's a temper tantrum. Three weeks old. So, yes. Yes, as my husband said, yeah.

I mean, yeah, I think I've calm my temper down. There was a time my dad caught me. I punched one of the neighbors in the stomach. Oh, I want to hear this story. He is, he's, I swear, I think I told you what happened. You didn't see it. No. I don't know. I guess, be honest with you, the little girl was a nagging

and Rachel had enough. She turned around and hit her in the stomach, gut punched her. And when she gut punched you, the little girl literally sat down. That's all she could do. I wasn't. I had enough. I wasn't having it. What was she doing to you?

Do you remember? I had no idea. I really did have a bad temper. Basketball courts. I used to always get in fights. She had answered her. She had answered her. I guess that was enough for the little girl.

And she kept answering the Rachel's turn around and hit her in the stomach and literally. And he loved it. I need to get in trouble. A little girl sat down. I mean, that's how hard she hit her. She sat down. What did you guys? expect Rachel to be doing with her life?

I don't like this question. What did you guys expect her to be doing with her life? And is it anywhere near what she's doing right now? Well, it doesn't surprise me that she's in the entertainment field, but I thought she... Wait, why? I suspect that I expected, that's the correct word, that she would practice law a little bit longer. I didn't think the transformation would come this quickly. That is called disappointment.

That's not really a disappointment. It's just more of, instead of making in a bleak turn, you took a hard left or hard right. That's all. I only know how to do it that way. And, Mommy, you were shaking your head vigorously when you said, no, this isn't what you expected me to be doing with my life. I never saw that.

Never saw. I saw sports. I saw you more as a journalistic sports. castor or something like that because that's what you went to New York for and you were in NFL NBA NBA. NBA. In turn. So that's where I saw you. For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tramphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Trimfaya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks.

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Made to keep up with whatever comes next New sweet green wraps hit different Order now at order. Dot sweetgreen.com Now do you guys have any questions for me? Is there anything? I know that you guys listen to the podcast off and on Is there anything you guys want to know for me?

Not so much no, but let me just say this. You know, I've listened to in parts of the podcast and I can tell that you are quite intelligent. You can think deep, but sometime in the way you express yourself is not the best way to do it. I mean, for example, I don't know whether you're trying to do it

for humor or for emphasis or what, but I would say there are too many curse words. And here's why that's important. As I stated before, I think you're intelligent or what we used to say, my generation, you're hip, I guess what your generation would say, you woke, you know what's going on, you're aware, you're what's on in the community, and that's good. But when you're delivering your message, I do not think it's necessary to use that profanity. Here's why.

When you do that, it takes away from your message. It really does. I mean, for example, when you have an argument or a discussion with someone and someone resents to name calling, that requires no intellectual effort, no intellectual thinking, it simply shows that the person can only call names rather than meet the opponent's argument with a cogent intellectual response. So when you curse, it really adds nothing to your delivery. You're not being a comedian.

I don't know, Richard Pryor, you're not... What's that group? I mean... The Kings of Comedy? The King's a comedy. D.L. Hughley, Steve Harvey, Cedric, the Entertainer, and who was the fourth of them? Bernie Mac.

Bernie Mac, rest of peace. He's not doing it for entertainment. So I really am having difficulty understanding what value does it add to the program. Okay. Is it, is it, is it? Okay. It's the F word. You love the F word.

I love the F word. Okay. That's a, that's a fair critique, fair criticism. In my opinion, this is what I would say to that. What I would say is when you're having a, when you're doing a podcast, especially a podcast like this when that goes on an hour or 30 minutes or whatever to me it's always important for me

to communicate with people in plain speak and the way that I would talk to them if things were in sort of a less formal atmosphere meaning this isn't really CNN and this isn't a forum where I'm trying to be my best self It's a form where I'm trying to be my most authentic self. And unfortunately, when I am being my authentic self, I do happen to use some of those words.

So I want people to leave the podcast, getting a true sense of who I am. And that means I have to relax a little bit. So that's the answer that I would give. Mr. Lindsay has absolutely, Judge Lindsay has absolutely zero tolerance for that answer. It may no, Judge Lindsay had zero. It went nowhere. It's an answer that, frankly speaking, I reasonably expected you to make. I mean, I mean, just because I'm a judge and in the courtroom,

I know what goes on the real world. I knew what went on the real world way before you did. So I'm not, it's not that, you know, as the Bible says, there's a time and place for everything. The question is, what's the time in place or why is it necessary when you convey in a message like that. I mean, for example, under the circumstances that you're describing, I'm trying to see what utility or what use does it bring to your podcast.

How does it make you more marketable? How did it make you more acceptable? How does it increase the number of people who want to listen to you? Now, for example, if it's an emerging something, you may have to use those words to get somebody's attention. And that happens, you know, that's what police say all the time when somebody's not complying with their instructions. They use those words to make the suspect or the person who's going to be arrested realize that, hey, we mean business. We want to get your attention.

And the way to get your attention is to use those kinds of words. Now there's a drawback to that. So this is a segue into something I wanted to say. The problem with that. And here's a good example. When police officers use profanity and dealing with the people they're about to arrest or they're questioning, that turns a lot of black people off and rightfully so.

And here's why. They want to be talked to just like they were talked to white people. They do not talk to white people like that. Another thing I don't not like police officers do. Don't come up and say, hey, bro to me. You don't know me at all. You would not tell a white person, hey, bro. So it's insulting to me when a white police officer comes up and says, hey, bro, and I've corrected them too about that. You call me, sir, like you call anyone else. The whole thing is we want to be treated equally just like you treat the mass population. Why treat us differently? Because when you call us that or you say that you've already made a decision in your mind. I'm talking about the police officer. Hey, I can treat this person differently. I do not have to give him or her,

the respect that I would give someone else. Many times the confrontations between blacks take place because police officers do not know how to approach a black people. That's very important. You know, the Bible talks about that too, about a soft answer turns away anger, but grievous, harsh words stir up wrath. In other words, when a police officer snaps at a black person or calls him or her something that's inappropriate, there's going to be a response.

And then the conversation is escalated. The next thing you know, the police officer wants to arrest the black person or the minority person for something that's really not even a crime or something that he or she, the police officer, goads the person into doing. So words do have meaning. That little old saying about sticks and stones may break my bones, the words may never hurt me. That's a lie. Now I understand why, it was said because older parents came up with it to make their children have a sense in how to deflect harmful statements made by other kids. Kids can be awfully mean. So you say, hey, look, you say sticks and stones may break my bones, the words may never hurt me. The truth of the matter is words do hate, do hurt. That's why we have laws against libel and slander. So words, words matter.

words definitely matter and I just think there's a place and time for everything and when something's overused it becomes a liability. It diminishes the effectiveness of your message. Okay, so there's a word

that exists in the English language and I think it's a word that's actually underutilized in the current times that we live in with such, you know, binary political sort of opinions. That word is compromise. So I'm going to attempt

to reach a compromise with you, Judge Lindsay. What I'm going to attempt to do right now is I'm going to plea bargain this. I'm trying to plea. She's probably always been waiting for this moment. I have. You know, I've never been arrested,

never been in court. I am fascinated with the way that the legal system works. You know what I mean? Probably the only man in my family that hasn't been arrested, but whatever. So can we And you said that without cussing. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Can we get to a percentage decrease of curse words as an initial step? Because I'm going to be honest with you. Cold turkey might be hard. But if I was to say that I would use 30% less curse words, would that in a way be a start to me coming around and maybe being a little bit more accepted by you, Judge Lindsay?

That would be a step in the right direction. I cannot call with that because nobody change is usually overnight. I mean, you do things at a habit. In fact, you know, you do them so often and it just almost become second nature. So it's hard to remember to do that. You know, you kind of have to count to 10. I mean, I guess I'll Rachel will allow me to say this. you have to have that willingness to want to change.

You know, like, some years ago, I mentioned the word Oriental, and Rachel said, oh, Daddy, you can't say that. Can't say it. Unless you're talking about a rug or a food. Yeah. Okay.

And so anyway, and she told me about that, and what I had to do was make a conscious effort because when I was growing up, that's what was used. And so anyway, it took really not that long, but every time I would say the word Asian or where the person was from, okay? And I had one of my fellow judges a while back. He said, well, you know, Judge, that young Oriental law clerk to care working for you. And I politely said, Judge, I don't know if you know this, but I do not want you to be. embarrassed or somebody to attack you or being critical of you, but Oriental is not the word to use

when you're talking about a person. Use the term Asian or if you know the country from where that person is or where the person's ancestors are from, use that word. And that way you'll never have to worry about anything. And here's what you'll be surprised. I was talking to one of our judges. And she has an Asian parent. and she told me with a straight face on one of these, in a public forum, that she did not know

that the use of that word was offensive until I told it. So, so anyway, when you used to something for so long, you have to make a concentrated effort that you want to do better. And that's with anything.

You know, I tell people all along, we talk about, about being under the influence of drugs. And the reason they committed the crime is because they were under some drug. And I said, I understand that. But here's the real deal.

Often, I will require people to go and have drug treatment, whether it's counseling, or it's coming in, whether it's taking medication. And some people will say it helps them. And other people say it will not help them. What I always tell them,

You can have the best counselors, all the drug treatment in the world, but if you do not bring something to the table, it is not going to work. And getting it to work is you have to say, I want to do better, I need to stop this. And we do a lot of things by habit. Yes, there are addictions. When it's an addiction, it's even harder to stop. But for things like cursing or using racial slurs, people should be able to overcome that or using terms that are offensive,

people should be able to overcome the use of those turns with just a minimum amount of concentration and say, look. Listen, we're going to have a minimum amount of concentration. A minimum amount, just try. No, I get it. We are going to dedicate the next podcast to you. It is going to have 30% less curse words.

30% less curse words. Rachel, like when you give the example you gave, the minute you said that, I said to myself eight or ten times, do not use that word, do not use that word. And I may have used that word after you said it, but then I may have used that word one time, but I think I caught myself when I did it because I did not want to be considered a racist or I did not want to disparage anyone. So I made a concentrated effort.

And it wasn't that hard. Well, you're not the only one. Some other people have said that Van curses a lot on the, the podcast. I have wanted to invite my friends to listen to the podcast, but I can't because you love the F word. Now, I grew up. My father, because every day.

Right. That was just a part of him. But we didn't. We couldn't. We were not allowed to. So I understand it. But you're very. intelligent, very intelligent. I love

listening to your arguments, your debates, but it's a little jarred. Now, now, can I do something else? Is there any possible way that I can blame somebody else because I was raised in

an, you know, I don't want to, I know they say that people, kids in this generation they like to blame other people. But the reality is that it's seeming, you guys are so upstanding now. Look how much I'm standing up straighter. It seems like I was raised.

If I could be honest, if I could just be honest, it seems like I was raised by a bunch of heathens. That's what it seems like. No, I just heard those words all the time. And sometimes they seem like they were being loving towards me. Like, get over here, a little F word. My dad cussed every day. And he would use the harsh words.

Right. We could. Okay. Okay, so I'm not able to blame my father for it. So I'll take responsibility. Because here's what you have to do. Okay, as I stated before, we raised all of our daughters to be independent. I want all of them to be successful.

And once they get on their own, they have to chart their own course. And that's the way it is with you with custody. And I would say this, with anything, look at the good on a person, pull the good, use that to advance yourself. Those things are the negative or harmful or take you nowhere, gradually shed them or get rid of them. That's what I would say.

That is some of the best advice that I think anyone could get from anywhere. Listen, I can't promise to be perfect. But what I can promise is that I'm going to make the effort, the 30% challenge starts. And I'm being serious about this. By the way, by the way, I've said this before. I had a cousin of mine, didn't work out for him. He got 32 years.

A cousin of mine was before a judge. And the way the judge was controlling the courtroom and the proceedings, I looked at my other cousin. I was like, judges are born. I don't think that they're made. Someone with that type of discipline. Judges are born. This judge ended up, I was, I was admiring this guy, and then he sent my cousin away forever.

But I am terrified of you, Judge Lindsay, honestly. Oh, I can tell you had a full glass of water when we started in this time. And I'm drained to water. Like, I'm being serious. Is that you actually gotten through to me. And the points were made in a very real way. and I will try my best to cut down on the cursing on the podcast. But let me show you something, how well you have done.

You have not said a single cuss word in these 30 minutes. So I know you have the power to do it. Yes. Wait till y'all get off. He's going to make up for that 70%. Put it like this. You have the ability to do it. The question is whether you have the will to do it.

Oh, wow. You have the ability. That's been demonstrated here. And like I said now, you don't have to stop at 30% now. Right. I love it. I love this. Van,

next time you get at me, I'm going to bring my dad back, send him the Zoom link to come on here. You can come out of the corner now, though. I feel like they've been talking to you. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. I needed this.

I needed this. Because here's the thing, a lot of people, they're two. proud to let one of the OGs check them and put them back on this square. I'm not. I'm here to be corrected. You know what I mean? Oh, that's good.

You know what I tell a lot of people? The biggest impediment to success is the inability to accept constructive criticism. I have learned a lot. I feel like a better human being from having met the Lindsay's today. I really do. I really do. We appreciate you guys taking some time out of you have like a whole lost study right there. Look at it.

Like that's her whole thing. It's a chambers. It's a chambers. Chambers. That's fantastic. I've never been in chambers before. This is kind of a treat. Do you understand now why I'm a Cosby kid?

I do. You get it. He calls me a Cosby kid. I do. Rachel is, you know, we talked about Rachel being a Cosby kid and we just finished talking to my mother who's an African spiritualist. So there's a, there's a dichotomy here that works. And that's why the chemistry is so good.

But I really do appreciate you guys talking with us today. I learned so much. Thank you so much. This was a big deal. Can I say one thing? Sure. When Rachel told me she's going to be working with you, I said, well, I like him because I'll never forget on CNZ,

Rachel's name came up with the bad fruit red or something. And I don't, the others were being critical or they didn't know. exactly what she was doing, but you were very complimented. I can't remember the exact detail, but I thank you for that. Yeah, and I appreciate that, and I received that. I think, well, I do remember what you were talking about. What ended up happening in TMZ, it's interesting with Judge Lindsay was talking about earlier, is let's say you're in that crowd of a thousand people, right?

If you're in that crowd of a thousand people, when you're talking about you talk to a thousand people they're white, touch with a thousand people they're black, and you're the only black guy. After a while, what you start to do is you start to recognize

inside of people sort of the inherent biases that they bring to things when they're not even trying. Because see, when someone's trying to be a certain way,

it's almost childlike. You can parse through intentional racism and look through it and it becomes comical after a while, like you really feel that way. But when someone's not trying

to be that, when that's just inside, of them, it's insidious because you can't talk them out of it. And so when you have six bachelorets that you guys have glowing reviews for, and then you have one bachelorette and you have all of these problems, I'm trying to get you to understand that there's something behind that. And I see that. And I'm here with you every day. I wouldn't make a snap judgment on you, right? But I'm here with you every day. So I have enough of a case study

to know how you look at things. And so in that particular instance, I was like, you guys don't see that there's a reason why you're picking her apart? And even if they can come back and say that there's not, then it's worth a conversation. No hurt feelings. But most of the time, the first thing

you get is anger and then the second thing you get is to come to Jesus moment where they're like, you know, See, I almost curse. I was going to say the D word. But I stopped myself. And I think that's what was going on. But I'll tell you what, what I didn't know was that the best thing to do would have been able,

was to get Rachel on the face or Skype or let her talk to the people because she can handle herself way better than anybody else to take over her. She got that on lock. She don't need no help from nobody when it comes to breaking somebody down. Very true. You remember that. Okay. You guys.

Thank you guys. Thank you. You welcome. You're welcome. Thanks again, Van. No problem. All right. Pleasure to meet the both of you.

All right. Take care. Bye, right. Bye, guys. Bye, y'all.