Higher Learning with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay - A 'Higher Learning' Tribute: Van Lathan Sr. 

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

On this special episode, we pay tribute to Van Lathan Sr. as Rachel and the 'Higher Learning' team share a compilation of Van's unforgettable dad stories. Hosts: Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay Producers: Trudy Joseph and Donnie Beacham Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up, everyone? Just wishing you all love and peace during this time. I just want to say thank you to all the thought warriors who have reached out, who have sent in their condolences, who have asked me how Van is doing. You know, I've been talking to him on and off. And, you know, this is a tough time, but he is being surrounded by family and friends and a lot of love. And you guys have been a part of that. So once again, I just want to say thank you to the Thought Warriors community. And, you know, we've been kind of talking and figuring out what we could do.

We miss you guys. We miss being able to talk to you twice a week. And we'll get back to doing things the way that we do on the higher learning podcast. But we also want to be respectful and we want to give Van this time to just grieve and to honor his father. And so we appreciate you guys for giving him the time and the space to do that. We also want to take this time to honor Van's dad because we know he was such an integral part of higher. are learning and you know you can call him an honorary host on this show just from all the stories that van would tell and so we wanted to do a tribute that's honoring him because he's such and will

continue to be a special constant presence on this podcast mr van lathen senior and we thought that it would be great if we would just compile some if we compiled some of those stories that van would tell so often on this podcast i i've already listened to it and you guys i'm literally laughing the entire time. I don't think I say more than five words. And I know that's how you guys were and just listening to Van take us through memory lane and of all the advice and the lessons and the stories and the memories of his dad. So we just wanted to take this time for you guys to listen along to enjoy and to honor Van Terry Lathen, Sr. My pops one time, my dad used to do this thing. as soon as the car would come

my dad had big diesel duly truck right and you could hear his truck coming up the block you know when we lived in Gardia you could hear his truck coming up the block and I knew that after having worked all day long that my dad did not want to see me relaxed or having a good time at all it was his worst nightmare to have gotten up at four

right gone and worked construction he owned a construction company and then come home and see me playing like Mario Kart he's not fucking with that. That's not what he likes. He wants to see you, he wants to see when he comes home from all of that work,

he wants to see you sitting down watching Bible studies on TV, polishing a student of the year trophy. That's what he wants to see. Like he wants to know that that work means something. But that's not what would be happening. Me and my homies will be in there on that fucking madden. That's what we would be doing. And so as soon as I was,

would hear the truck come up, I would tell my boys, I would be like, hey, y'all, hey, sit up straight. Act like you're not having a good time. Sit up straight. Sit up straight right now. Act like you just got bad news. Don't let this niggas see you having a good time.

But it still didn't never fail. When he came home, find something to do. Like right away, Van, have you fed the horses yet? Well, not the horses. Not then. We weren't living in Zachary.

But like, Van, you fed the dog? We did have horses, but later on. Like, it's like, it's like, Van, you fed the dogs? I'd be like, yes, sir. Well, go check on them and make sure they're not hungry again. And when I would get, when I would get up, in my mind, I would be like, yes, sir. Did you have a great day at work, father? How are things?

What would you need? Would you like me to draw you a bath? But in my mind, I'm thinking, yo, fuck you, dog. I never thought of it. Old black men are so funny. One time, we would have days at the house where we would have days at the house where we, we would let the horses out and get on three-wheelers and ride around and like everybody would enjoy the country.

My mom would cook and stuff like that. And so one day we were having one of those days and my boy Ian came over. And after he came over, you know, we were going to go out later on that night and go to the club and stuff like that. So Ian was like, I'm just going to bring a change of clothes and then I'm going to take a shower or whatever I'm going to leave.

I was like, all, cool. And so my dad, walks in the house, and then when he sees Ian, Ian's coming from the bathroom with the towel on and the shirt, and he's going in my room so he can change. And I'm sitting on the couch playing video games with my other homeboy Ryan, and my dad goes, did he just take a shower in my house?

And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, I never forget this. He goes, you mean to tell me that nigger had his balls out in my house? And I'm like, yeah, he did. Like, he had to take a shower soon. I mean, I can't verify, but yeah, I would assume that his balls were out. Boy, don't you ever let another man come drop his nuts in my house?

I'm like, and I remember looking at my mom and like, is he being serious right now? That no one can take a shower. Never had guests over is what you're telling me. Not like that. Man, when I was a kid, I was instructed not to eat from anybody else's house. Yeah, no, that's big and with black families. Yeah, I'd be like, yo, like, hey, Van, would you like something to eat? Nope.

Man, you want something to eat? No. Ben, seriously, we're all about to eat dinner. You're just not going to eat? No, I'm not eating your food. I don't want it. So definitely never anything like that. But by this time, we had all known each other for such a long time.

and I'm wondering if now my worst nightmare has come true if I'm now my dad. I'm here to tell you, you are him. Wow. Wow. It's interesting the way that happens right there. I love you, big guy. From DeAndre Villegos,

what is something your parents told you when you were younger that you fully believed only to realize later it wasn't true? Example, you can't drive with the lights on inside of the car. Oh, something that my parents told me when you were younger, that you fully believed only to realize later.

What a fucking fantastic question that it wasn't true. I feel like you probably have a really good story. Oh, I do, but we don't have a lot of time. That leaving the refrigerator open makes the entire house cool. No, it don't. It makes the stuff inside the refrigerator warm.

But I would leave the refrigerator open and my dad would be like, what are you trying to cool off the whole house? What are you doing? Close the door. It doesn't make the house cool at all. the stuff gets warm, but that doesn't make, you know what, I got me honest with you. Let me all keep it all away gangster.

80% lies. That you were told as a kid? 8 out of 10, nigger. 80% completely untrue. I know you don't. Because all your parents did was read you Bible verses. That's probably true. Right.

But for me, literally, eight out of 10, like you go somewhere with your uncle. be like, who is that woman talking to uncle like that? Oh, that's just his friend. Don't worry about that. Don't tell your auntie, nothing. All, like, I'm telling you, like, eight out of ten, lies. Lies. That's, that he answers for me because I don't, he's right.

They didn't really lie. At least I don't know if they did. They lied. Why? Why are we wearing a Santa hat? That's what people really want to know. Well, I'm wearing a Santa hat, okay, because I want to feel festive. Santa hat to make me feel good.

it makes me, it harkens back to my childhood. And you know what? Also, how about this? I'm wearing the Santa hat because I as a child dreamed of the day where I too could do shit and not have anyone tell me anything about it. My dad used to say, close the refrigerator door, your air conditioning in the whole neighborhood. That statement is stupid. That makes no sense.

You just wanted it closed because you wanted it closed. Well, now it's my house and I wear a damn Santa hat. Well, go ahead and open the refrigerator. then just do it all. I might. And I remember very, I remember saying people would say, uh, van is whatever, van whatever. And I would be like, whatever.

My mom thinks I'm handsome. And I carried that like all the way through me with my life. Like my mom, she's like, my mom would look at me and she'd be like, boy, boy, you are so handsome. You look just like your daddy. I remember one time I thought I was actually in the Freddie. I thought I was, I thought Freddie was happening for real. I know I keep telling you guys stories like this, but I have fallen asleep on the couch.

Okay. Okay, man. I have fallen asleep on the couch. And if we get my mom back on here, she'll remember this. I have fallen to sleep on the couch. And when I woke up, I looked at the television and there was a commercial for Freddie's one 900 number. Another commercial.

And look, and look, when I woke up all I saw, I remember, if you remember Nightmare and L.C. Street three, Freddie appears as an apparition in the TV, and then he grabs the kid and he pulls him into the TV and he kills him. I remember I woke up and I saw Freddy on the TV and he was like,

ha, ha, ha, ha, dial one 900, Freddie Groomer. And I left up and ran to the back and was pounding on my parents' door. How?

Maybe. Oh, man. Seven or eight? Something like that. Seven or eight. Pounded on my parents. door. And my dad came out there. My dad came out there. Like he didn't have no pants on. It almost hit me in the face. He like, he came out there. Boy, what's going on? Boy, what's

going? What's wrong? What's wrong? And I'm like, Freddie Kruger, Freddie Krueger. And he said, nigger, if you don't get your motherfucking ass out of my face, talk about some Fredt and Krueger, get your ass in your room and go to sleep. Get your ass. I'm like, yo, I'm scared. You're not going to Hey, what's wrong, Terry? This nigga talk about some Freddy Kruger. This boy got to learn what's real and what's not. What was scarier? Your dad in that moment or Freddy Kruger on TV?

That's why I love my dad. This is from Lina. Do you have a nickname that only family members or close friends call you? If so, what is it? Spanky. Is it really? Yeah. Why?

My dad just called that. Spank. Wow. You heard it here. You know the thought words are going to be calling you that. From Jessica Fisher. What is your favorite holiday tradition? One was like me and my sister

waking up early. Me and my sister had a cold word. It was turbo. So I would come to my sister or she would wish it, she would whisper turbo to me, turbo or jumbo. And that was,

it's time to get up and go down and get the presents, right? And that was like something every single year until we stopped doing that. Boy, childhood is a big. every single year until we stop doing that. That was amazing.

My second favorite one, Christmas tradition or holiday tradition, is my dad fucking over his relatives. Okay. If there's ever more than 10 latins, my dad is going to fuck over somebody. Why? Because everybody gets on his nerves. He never wants to be around.

What my father has, more than anything, is undiagnosed social anxiety. Okay. Doesn't like to be around a lot of people. People. Neither does mine. Just doesn't enjoy it, right? If he's at his crib, his 10 of me and my friends and stuff like that, for some reason, he's cool. When he gets around the rest of the family, he gets irritable, right?

He gets super irritable. And anything can set him off. And before you know it, like everybody is having a good time. Normally, once everybody relaxes, you hear, you know what, nigger? and then my mom would just and then my mom would just look and it's time to break out. It's like it's time to break out.

It's time to break out. I'm like, what happens? I'm like, what happened? She's like, it doesn't matter what happened this time. You knew it was going to happen. We're not going to make it. We'll come back and get your prayers. Every never fails.

For some reason, we were talking about because one of our producers, Trudy, she got brand new hair did. And I was like, Fresh press. Fresh press. When the girls would get their hair did, I would sing the Moher song for them

when they got on the bus because Mohair was where they went. And then I looked up Moher, and Mohair is still open. That is so amazing that Moher is still open after all of these years. Moher was open when I was in middle school.

Next time you go back home, you should visit. You should tell them about the song. Maybe now that they've grown, they've gotten bigger. Maybe they're in the mood to advertise. Maybe, you know what I'm saying?

Like, you can help them out a little bit. Mohair. I got my hair cut at Mohair one time. Oh, they cut hair too. Okay, so it's... They were also, they would have a barber in there sometimes. But then what happened was the barbers that were in Mohair, they then left Mohair and started their own barbershop.

And I can't remember what the name of the barbershop was. Mo cuts. It wasn't Mo Cuts because they were precious. Would that be genius? Yeah, branched off. It was something. It was Orlando and all of those guys are over there cutting hair.

And I remember just going by there, my dad would be in there. And my dad would be in there getting his haircut. Didn't even tell me he was going to get his haircut. I'm running around here, looking crazy on top of my head. My dad's in there with a fresh lineup.

That's how they do you. We lived in Dallas for like, I never told you this. We lived in Dallas. DeSoto for a little while. Oh, yeah. We lived in DeSoto for a little while, so, like, my dad used to go, I'm going to catfish floors.

And you go there and get some of the best fried catfish I ever had. I don't know if it's still open down there in Dallas. There's another place. I'm going to, if you ever in Dallas. Loved it. I walked in on my parents one time. I knew you were going to tell this story. How old were you?

How old were you? And did you understand what was happening? Twelve. Oh, you fully understood. It was 1992. Do you want to hear the story? I don't think I have a choice at this point. Okay, so it was a Sunday morning.

I remember it being a Sunday morning. It was a Sunday morning I had friends over the night before and thank God that they left. I had friends over the night before and there was some talk about whether or not they were going to spend the night. And I never liked to have friends spend the night on Saturday night because it made Sunday too sad. I'd rather you spend the night on Friday night. and then we could hang out all day Saturday and then you go home. Because Sunday, you know,

schools coming again on my, I was never a big Sunday guy. Like, people love Sunday. But Sunday to me just always meant that I love, I still love Sunday. No, Sunday you got to wake up. Friday and Saturday is the lick. And even Thursday, I like Thursday.

Anyway, back to the story. So my friends had left. And, but they had left late. Like late for kids, like 11, 30, 12. their mom had come picked them up they went back she was a nurse she worked double shift shout out to gibral and ashore and ashore and i'm in my room and i remember i was in my room was uh my comic books were right next to the bed we had been watching comic we have been reading comics and the light from the sun wakes me up and i wake up and we're living on general

taylor and baton Rouge in hermitage subdivision my room was uh when you turned down the hall my room was the first room and then my parents room was at the end of the hall. Okay. And I heard caclat, caclac, cac, clac, cac, cac, and I'm like, the fuck is that. But, you know, it's Sunday, it's Sunday morning and it was always hit or miss whether or not there was going to be like a big Sunday breakfast. Okay. So if I woke up and mom wasn't cooking any time, hold on, I need the stress ball for this.

Wow. Are we sure we want to tell this story? Of course. So if I woke up and there was no breakfast cooking, I would just go back to sleep because what's the point of waking up if there's no goddamn cheese eggs, you know, and grits? So I try, so I wake up and I try to roll over and go back over to sleep. But the sound is like definite. It's like, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack.

And it won't stop. And I'm like, this goes on for maybe five, six minutes. And I'm trying to lay down and go to sleep. and I just can't get around it like I can't get around it I'm like what the fuck is going on and so I'm thinking maybe something's going on back there

maybe dad is fixing something or I just will now want to know what's happening and I remember I wake up and I get outside of my door and very slowly I'm walking down and the sound is coming for their room and the door was wide open the door was a whole

The door was wide open. Did they think you were asleep that you weren't in the house? I thought that they probably thought that I was sleep. When I say the door was wide open, the door was wide open. And I turned around and I looked and dad was on top of mom and it was huffing and it was puffing and there was some shit talking. Okay. How long were you in the doorway? It took me a second for me to register what I was looking at.

And I definitely froze. And it took me a second to register like what I was looking at. And so I'm looking. I'll never forget, mom is getting their eagle on. Don't stop telling all the business. Mom is getting her eagle on. And dad is working. I mean, and he's working so much.

And he's got his hand, his left hand on the headboard. Oh, there's the noise. Yeah. And it's clack, clack, clack, clack. And so I'm standing there and all of a sudden I hear, and this my mom and my dad turns around

and he comes towards the door right and when he comes towards the door his shit is going back forth back forth back forth his shit is like a I don't know man it's like a you know like a thermometer or like something like that it's going back forth back forth

back forth back forth and and I'm like Jesus Christ what the fuck and he's and it's coming He's like coming toward me. He's coming toward me. He's got his shirt on. He's shirt cocking it.

He's got his shirt on. And the thing is just flappity, flap, flapety flap. And it's coming towards me. And I'm like, shit. And he slams the door. And I hear, I told you the goddamn turn, the goddamn close that door. I told you.

That boy going to be crazy now. He's going to be scarred. Tell you a story about my father real quick. Because, you know, a lot of times my dad would say that he was going to come somewhere. Then he would just never show up. But what, there's something else, there's one thing that he did that was so awesome.

I wanted a Batman video game. And, and like my father, my father was like, we're not, we don't have no money for no video games. We don't have it. Just fuck all that.

You don't get no video games. I'm like, God damn. And I come home one day. I'm like, yo, dad, seriously. It's like, can I have the game? It's like, can I have the video game? He goes, no. No video games.

As a matter of fact, take your ass out there. And video game, with that lawnmower. So when I go out there to get the lawnmower, the game is taped to the lawnmower. Oh, that's really special. Yeah, and so I look over and he is just laughing his head off.

It's so fun torturing me. But I thought about it. If he had just bought me the games when I wanted them, that wouldn't be a special memory. So that's the kind of dad I'm going to be with the Thought Warrior community. I'm going to be the dad that only comes through 10% of the time. but you really remember it and you keep telling yourself

for your whole life.