Historically High - HH 1v1 Greatest Movie Heroes

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

I mean the title of the episode is pretty self explanatory right? We're talking fictional heroes, those larger than life figures we used to pretend to be playing in the backyard or riding our bikes down the street. Sure they didn't consider things like property damage, bystander casualties, the laws of physics or frankly anything else, but that's why we love them. Support the show Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I think these were kind of a double. How do you think... Like, do you think when soldiers came home from war, they came back and were teachers? And if they were teachers, would a veteran history teacher be biased? You're talking about... Are you talking about, like,

are you talking about, like, after Vietnam or after... Yeah, like, could you imagine a Vietnam vet coming home and being a teacher? Because they had all sorts of jobs when they came back. Yeah. first of all I wonder what jobs were exempt because if teachers weren't were exempt or something from the draft

then maybe they wouldn't okay but just the question in itself it would be pretty nuts man like can you imagine like having a history teacher that was like all right so we learned about World War II Korea Desert Storm and someone's like you forgot Vietnam

he's like I'll never forget Vietnam He's like, it's in my teaching clause That I do not have to teach you guys about Vietnam Because if I taught you every God damn thing I know about fucking Vietnam Why don't you want to talk about that You want me to talk about teaching you how to rip somebody's head off Yeah You want me to tell you what it looks like

When a man When a man holds a grenade underneath him You would learn about this Have you ever held a grenade pin between your teeth, you can't know. I think it would be just a crazy thing, and as far as being biased, I don't see how you couldn't, because if that was

what you just lived in, like, you would come back and you would probably, I mean, you've seen your shit and you probably have a good amount of PTSD, and you're dealing with kids, like, I would go nuts if just dealing with kids without having PTSD. It always kind of surprises me when they give you the actual percentage

of people that participate in the armed service Yeah. And you do kind of realize at that point, you're like, okay, you know, this isn't something very common. When you look at a percentage, so it does go ahead and put it into light, like, oh, not everybody does this. So it does make it more rarefied and, like, more unique and more special. The thing is, is, like, the reason I think a lot of the post-war stuff gets kept out of kind of more, like, not mainstream, but why people aren't so. aware of it is that it's a small segment of society it's not it's not always in your face like you

see it in movies and stuff like that like um like in for yeah in forrest gump like lieutenant down like on the side of the street like there's always kind of that like stereotypical like vietnam bet like begging for your change on the side of the road or like a broken man but that was like a very small like segment of society so like to even like see that would have been like like, oh, it's just something wrong with that one person. It's not all these guys having issues, which I'm sure how would you go over and see the shit that you saw over there, none of the issues.

Yeah, and some people I think were probably better compartmentalizing in being able to live like normal daily lives. Like, there were people that came over or came back from Vietnam that were probably fairly normal by those standards. Tom Seguera. Have you heard him tell a story about his dad or how his dad would always tell him a little bit more information? He got older and asked him about Vietnam.

He was like, when he was young, he was like, hey, dad, did you ever kill anybody? He's like, oh, no. And then he got older, he's like, hey, dad, did you ever kill anybody? He goes, no, but I commanded people that killed people. And then he finally asked me, he's like, dad, I know if I've asked you this before, but did you ever kill him? Oh, yeah, lots of people. But like, I don't know, having the ability to like have that be.

a part of your life and everything, that's got to be, like, that's gonna be crazy to just have that in your mind. Well, and then, like, you come back and somehow, by some stroke of luck, you're teaching high school history, and you see these kids

having all these, like, stupid children problems. You're like, fucking kidding me. I have to be careful talking about your feelings when I was just over in Korea. Like, fuck you. I don't have fucking fingernails. Yeah. My fingernails still won't grow back

and you're fucking criping about. your chip nails. You're crying and passing notes in class because Bobby didn't invite you to prom. I need to fucking bury my friends. Not to take it in an unsirious direction, but if like, can you imagine if,

like, actual movies, like imagine, like an action movie actually portrayed, like the after effect, like the actual psychological after effect of some of the stuff that,

like, the guys in the action movies do. Like, if you take, like, Commando or, like, an Arnold Schwarzenegger,

like, a normal Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. but even think of like Conan like he completely destroys his enemies and kills all these people and like if he said and I was like how does Conan really feel he's like I feel conflicted if I'm being honest

I'm a little sad for the people I had to kill if I can be vulnerable for a second is this a safe space and you may wonder why did he bring in a joke about an action movie it's because we're doing one on one ladies and gentlemen I know it took a seven and a half minutes to get to a

But it's one-on-one. He caught me by surprise. Did I? Yeah. Another just... We're pretty far in. A flawless transition. All right.

So, we are Heroes versus Villains One-on-One this evening. What are the five categories? I thought we were doing two separate ones. We're just going to do them all in one. What do you mean? So we were doing a Heroes episode and a Villains episode. Oh, we can do that if you want.

I just figure if we split them up into two, will have, because if we did this all at once, this would be another two-hour episode. That's true. Okay. We're going to do Heroes Tonight. Okay. You don't want to do them both? I don't know when the girls want to be picked up. I'm saying this one we're currently recording because they're released at separate times. Yeah. This is going to be its own. But yes, tonight, Adam, we can record the second part. Okay, okay. I just, I didn't want to leave on a... No, I've thought about this a lot too, so I'd love to be able to do, too. Okay. So we're doing Heroes.

All right, so what are the categories? Our hero categories are going to be action movies, comedy movies, kids movies, which was much deeper, I thought it would be. Hey, shut up at there, dogs. Scary movies and fantasy and adventure movies. All right. Do you want to do the ceremonial, see who's going first by the flipping of your game can? Try to catch on this. It's...

All right, you go first. Okay. Are we do an honorable mention and then, or are we doing a winner and then, or top and then honorable mention? Top. We'll go top, I'll go top, and then you do your honorable mention. Okay, catch us. Okay.

Great landing. I'm going to go with, he's in every man. He started as an every man before interning at some point, apparently superhuman status during some of his later movies. I found myself being drawn to people who had more than one. movies. You could kind of see a character arc and some growth.

I like growth. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of these guys that get penciled into a lot of movies. But I don't think anyone has done it in quite the same way that John McLean

has done it. Oh, thank God. I panicked for a second. I thought we chose the same one. You thought we chose the same person? No. I go John McLean for action. Yeah, it starts out as just

a cop from New York just trying to come back salvage his marriage and it gets caught up in the terrorist takeover of Nakatomi Plaza. He gets beat the fuck up in that movie. Ends up saving the day. Quite possibly the greatest Christmas movie. And yes, I am of the opinion that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Dude, don't bring that in here.

Dude, are you kidding me? I can't get into that debate tonight. Okay. Anyway, we'll do that during our historically high holiday special. Yeah. Anyway, then, as if that's not enough, like a couple years later, maybe even the next year, I don't know if we've established the timeline, but he's just trying to fly home to see his family, who I think he's now transferred to be with his family in Los Angeles. And listen, I'm not seeing John McCain's praises. He's got his issues.

But on the merit of action hero, this is what this is based on. He gets caught up in a terrorist, another terrorist takeover. What are the chances? What are the chances? Still calls his buddy, Carl Weathers. Good friend to have. No, not Carl Weathers. Carl Winslow.

What's his name in real life? We've just talked about this recently. Oh, my God. Reginald Van, oh, what was it? Something been Reginald Van Bel Johnson? I'm looking at that. I want to say it's Reginald Bell Johnson. Carl

Oh no No He's Carl Oh right Anyway Yeah Reginal Vell Johnson

Yes Okay That's a weird Last thing He ends up saving the day Again Discovering a A plot to

Free a What like Supposed to be A Castro guy The guy He was taken over Cuba Yeah Like he's gonna be

Landy Like come on He's not going to Cuba He's not going Near Cuba He's not going over near Cuba Then in the third one Which is

arguably better than the second But not better than the first guess what he gets caught up again this time by the brother you better chew on that quietly man I'm not talking to Adam I'm not talking to Adam this who knows but we'll both nope

all right we're having nope there you go dog tanked glitches all right oh you got me you interrupted my goddamn diehard three ran okay he gets haunted by the brother of the guy had killed in the first one but it's on the elaborate cover up took, what is it, it's a ruse

to cover up the theft of all the gold in New York City. Great crime. And, great theft. He did Samuel Jackson. They get to team up. Yeah, Samuel, he drifted in and out of a lot of

just great movies. He found himself in a good position here, I think. Because Die Hard 3 might be, I don't want to say a favorite? It has, this is going to be weird. Okay, it has this math problem in Die Hard 3. And I think it's the coolest, math problem and I always try to solve it like once like every few weeks in my head just to see how fast I can come to it.

And basically what it is is you have a, um, you have two water bottles in front of you. You have a three gallon and a five gallon. You have to produce one that has exactly four gallons in it. So how would you do it? Cut the top off off the fuck, yeah. Did he just, you know, he, dude, shut the door, he doesn't have thumbs. If you shut the door, he has to stay out there. All right.

We'll cut this part. Are you done? Are we over this? You know, you could just hold it, and then he can't get to it. I could hear it on the, oh, you can just stare the whole time. All right, we'll move past him. Okay. Kill him, you got one more chance, boy.

All right, so he ends up, yeah, he ends up teaming up, Samuel Jackson Oh, the problem I presented. Someone else solve it. Email us on the socials. Tell us how you solve the problem if you do this to this. Yeah, that seems simple enough. We'll send you a

coaster. Yeah, a drink coaster. All right. Yeah, then, okay, so the fourth one, John starts going a little off the rails. And I believe that was live free or die hard. And in that one, John is out of his

element when he has to take out a computer hacker who is threatening the infrastructure of the United States he gets to team up with a thing Justin Long and at that point he is able to jump a police car

into a helicopter so that's kind of where you start to enter iffy territory. What are you talking about iffy? He does a lot of iffy things before that. Anyway, I'm just saying despite that kind of stuff I do feel like John McLean is the quintessential

action hero. Quintessential, definitely. He's right there. And everything else that... What am I blinking on his name? Bruce Willis? Yeah, everything else of Bruce Willis is done. I mean, he's kind of been an action guy

his whole career because he just fits that mold so well. There's something about a bald guy like that. Have you heard, and I don't know how much of a rumor this is, but I've heard in a few ways, is that he developed some type of, like, it was a mental condition that made him like really susceptible to suggestion or someone was able to really take advantage of him and they say that he wanted to retire earlier in his career but this person that was kind of in control of him or was able to manipulate him was having him take all these like because you notice how like his he was making it was like god damn bruce will so just fucking making everything he's trying to like cash grab all the time yeah he's like all the team up movie or the buddy cop movies and all like kind of crap or all like the b movies that he would be in just for like you know, his name in the movie.

But, yeah, I can't remember. I wonder how much truth there is to that. Yeah, it probably wasn't like a Dane Cook situation where a family member took advantage of him, but it was... No, because I think his family probably would have stepped in, but it was probably just subtle enough to be like, just do one more.

Just do one more, and he was like, I guess. And one more led to two more and just down the way. It's funny that you bring up mental illnesses because the guy that I'm going for played in probably another one of my favorite movies of all time. And I didn't really know where to rank this one on it. I wanted to put him in here for this, but I decided to go with something else.

I went with... You can't even remember your guy's name? I got sidetracked. I got sidetracked. Maximus from Gladiator. Russell Crowe. Russell. Okay, are you going with the character?

Okay, so you're going with the character of Maximus? Yeah. Okay. Maximus in the story is just an all-time badass from... Hold on. Do you actually have that written down, or are you just looking at the screen? Oh, it's on here. Okay. He just, the whole way that...

Did you think that... I made a split decision on. No, and I might have actually just even sold out my pick because I googled movie heroes. That's what I told you. And I was up there and he popped up on the screen. He's also, hold on. I'm not going to hold a lot of... You know what?

No, this doesn't fucking hold water. Because up here, we got Max Smith, we got Indiana Jones, but then we also have some goddamn Slyke kids movies. We got John Claude Van Damme. We got Jet Lee. We have... Okay, I'll jump tomorrow and we'll mention. Who is that?

Is that... That's not James Vanderbeak, is it? And... And then we have, like, Latin X-Man and Hero. I don't know. Okay, I'm not trusting this. All right. Anyway, but...

We'll get off the thing. Go on. I'll go to my honorable mention and make that my first pick, just so there's no, uh, no odd one. And this one's a very guilty play for a lot. No, I want to hear why you pick Maximus. I don't think you cheated. I, just, his whole story and the way that it plays into Marcus Aurelius,

and that he led a... The general to a slave. The slave that depied an emperor. And then he was arrested back in and brought in prison. I was trying to do the movie tagline. Oh. Oh. And he just...

He was the leader of an army. Marcus Aurelius wanted him to take over Rome. Marcus Aurelius' kid ended up killing him. And then as Maximus was trying to escape back to see his family, he gets back and sees that his wife and daughter are both crucified, which... Son. Wife and son?

Yeah. We're both crucified. And he buries him. And he ends up getting picked up back by the police and brought back. Is a prisoner? No, he ends up getting picked up by a... Basically, it's just like a caravan of, like, slavers. That's right.

So, and because, like, his estate has been burned, and he's basically sitting there wounded, because he ends up, like, killing his horse right before his estate. Yeah. And, like, right within the side of his family. And he's basically just, like... He rode there non-stop for, like, four days. Mm-hmm.

And so he just passes out. So, yeah, he ends up getting taken by the slavers. And then just by chance. Look about that, too. Like, he just had, like, the worst shit imaginable happened to him. He's on his own, like, farm, his own land. And he just passes out there and he's like, I might be safe. No, he just fucking saved anywhere.

Especially going from the highest high of being a very decorated soldier in somebody who... He was the general of Rome. Yeah, he was the man. He was the number one guy. so ends up getting back he's the general of another army wears a mask and I think his name is

Mossamo Mosmo something like that The son I don't exactly remember The Caesar's son Yeah Marcus Raleis's son Comedus

Comedus End up coming back He takes his helmet off And Comedus realizes that it's Maximus And he's back He escaped. My guy said you was dead.

Yeah. And then they rig a fight with him against... Like the undefeated guy. Yeah, the undefeated guy. And he sends in two lions to try to kill Maximus if the other dude doesn't get the job done. He dispatches the two lions and refuses to kill the guy that he was fighting and completely defies the new ruler of Rome's order

and ends up having to tangle with the ruler of Rome where he gets stabbed in the fucking. It was like the lung right before by him. It still goes out and ends up disarming him and getting ready to kill him when the ruler, the son, calls for a sword and his guard's like, mm-mm, bitch, you've dug this hole yourself. We're going to see how this goes. And ends up Maximus kills him and then dies on the battlefield.

Just an all-around badass story. 300, I think, would probably be pretty close with. Sparta and everything, but this is incredible. You know what this is? This is just a good old fashion Roman revenge story. Well, and it's just so much blood and so much actions. No, it's, it's so well done. Like, I legitimately love this movie and I remember seeing it when I was younger. And you know when you, like, see a movie when you're younger, like, the things you that, like, stand out to you about the movie or make it great about that movie are like a lot of the spectacle and the cool shit, everything. And then when you watch it, you haven't seen it for a while,

while and you get a little older you get a little more experience on your belt and you watch the movie and then you see the movie as like a different movie and you're like oh there was a lot of shit underneath what I was seen before layers of emotional things that you don't pick up on yeah so you pick up on but like this one where he basically as soon as he finds out

that he might have a chance to get back to Rome to get in front of the emperor just he's just like oh I got one goal he's like I'm going to get close to this guy he's going to kill him everything else has been taken away by this one guy so of course he's going to want to get the ultimate revenge. And then you play the fact where at the end of the movie,

his buddy comes out and buries two figurines of his wife and son where he was killed in the Coliseum, which glossing over the fact that this happened in the Roman Coliseum in knowing that it still stands today, I've been over and seen it, and there's really just no words. It's incredible that something like this has stood the test of time for so long and is still there.

but he goes out and parries the two figurines where Russell Crow is killed and he says till we meet again just not yet like the emotional draining when you first see this And then you see him as he's walking he's got the hand through the wheat Yeah, and then you see like his kid look up and see him When he's like in the afterlife and everything yeah It's so great Alright who's your you can do your honorable mention first

My honorable mention is just straight personal pleasure I don't know how it's received and thinking back on of the storylines a little bit spotty, but every time I see it's on, I got to watch it. It's Wesley or James McAvoy from Wanted. Okay. He's a kid that just had an assassin father that he didn't know about

and gets drafted into this league of assassins that gets their callouts, or I guess their hits from a loom that's getting weaved in Morgan Freeman, who I could argue would be the greatest good guy and bad guy at the same time any movie he could be he plays a hell of a villain that's like a guilty pleasure movie oh yeah like there are those movies that like if like if you're talking to somebody and somebody asks you like what your favorite action movie is that's the one that you don't tell them

that it might be your favorite action movie but you try to have like another one that's a little bit more acceptable to really like really yeah that's what I did with my picks yeah just this was Chris Pratt like pre-chris Pratt this is Chris Pratt I know but he wasn't really in it he got like his

He was nailing his girlfriend Yeah And then gets blasted with the keyboard And then making him buy his energy For him To give him the energy To blast his girlfriend And he doesn't he buy

He does he buys condoms Yeah he was condoms He goes can you get this for me And he gets him for him And just All around It has a lot of humor It's got Angelina Jolie in it

Which I don't know if there's ever been a bad movie with her in it, but she's beautiful, but she just seems to dirty. She's dangerous. She's going to give you something dangerous. She can drive a car. Well, I mean, they had those rejuvenation goals. Angelina Jolie tells you she's on birth control

when she's not on birth control. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what she, that's how, yeah. Who was yours? Indie Ann Jones. I guess I went more like traditional because, you know what I did? I went with, like, who I saw as, like, an action hero growing up, because I got to watch, for me growing up, Diard was a Christmas movie. I got to watch all the diehards.

Indiana Jones, those movies were, like, not gospel, but I mean, like, the tapes got worn out at our house. Oh, yeah. And it was just Temple of Doom was just, Temple of Doom was scariest shit to me. Like, so I got to watch, like, Rick. Raiders and then when they decided to do, you know, the other ones, it was, um, I know, it was just Raiders to Lost Ark. But, see, that, even that one, like, at the end where, like, the Nazis faces are melting off and all of a sudden the stuff starts coming out of the ark. It was almost too scary for me, but.

So incredible. He was, you know what he was also? He was the first dude that was smart. He uses his brains as much as anything else because all this stuff is historical traps and everything. and yeah he has a bullwhip and a gun but he gets the shit beat out of him and short round short round yeah he's got short round yeah but short round was only there for the one movie moral support though and actually short round did save his life in temple of doom when he burned him and stabbed him out of his trance so short round yeah short round isn't underrated here's the other thing too to me i'm sorry

but that didn't come off as creepy at all the man-boy relationship Yeah, weirdly enough, it did not come across creepy, and that goes to say something about Indy. He would never touch a child. I, yeah, I fully agree. Indy wouldn't. I don't, I mean, do you think Harrison Ford is the only action hero that's lived a more dangerous real life than he ever actually played in a movie?

With his flying everything? Yeah, he's crashed like three planes. Yeah, I think what he does, just the hobby he's selected as dangerous, but I think there are probably people. Like, I think Jason Momoa is probably pretty. Like, have you seen him on his Harleys and shit? And I'm sure surfing Yes

Yeah So he's not on the level That Harrison Ford is No and he's never big bend himself Into the back of a car Either on a motorcycle Or had to land a fucking playing on a golf course That's pretty sick

It's pretty sweet So our mention goes to Indy I had those interchangeable I only would with John McClain Just I see the thought process We had both of them And I

Yeah maybe John McLean ages them out Just because maybe it's more modern And there's more explosions It's true. All right. Comedy. I don't know first last one you go. Oh, that's right.

This one and the kids' one for me were so deep that it was so tough. I know I was talking about pushing away from like just kind of mainstream stuff. This one's never going to ever be beaten really. Happy Gilmore and Happy. is an amazing hero, a guy that can't make a hockey team to save his life, so he meets up with a jolly black man with a wooden hand that somehow teaches him how to hone his ungodly golf skills

and has to go against a terrible villain in Shooter McGavin, but still comes up, and what does he do it for? All we can think of when you said that is the park cycle. let me play on the pro tour tomorrow he's like oh I'm sorry because you're like he's like hell no god damn hell he got him bit my hand off oh my god they let me play on the pro tour

because you were black no it's like goddamn alligator bit my hand off he got your hand I got his head what is there to say about Adam Sandler he's a he's a hero in everything that he plays but it's just so fucking funny to think that like that's a storyline

that I don't know how it gets written Like, how do you write a defunc hockey player turns into a golfer? And all he does it for is grandma. I think that's what you do. You just go, like, I think his mind early on in that situation was he was like, give me a character. And then we'll figure out what to put that character in a situation. And someone was just like, you're a golfer, but you're only doing it because you were a failed hockey player. And you have this really crazy swing.

He's like, let's go with that. And he's like, and you work your way up and get on the pro tour. And he's like, keep going. win. You get a sponsorship with Subway after you get suspended from the tour. Carl Weathers is your tutor. Yes. Paul Reed is your golf instructor.

We're going to bring some guy in there to distract you by yelling jackass mid-swing. You're going to beat the shit out of Bob Barker. Deal. Sign me up. There's so many just clips and one-liners that'll just forever be funny. They're kind of like we were talking about an episode of guys. maybe with evergreen stuff like it just stays evergreen like those jokes will always be funny and um i'd like to say that it's the only adam sandler appearance that will make an appearance

between heroes and villains but i i got more all right um i went with deadpool and when you said happy kill more i was like oh yeah like he there were heroes and villains in his movie but i also would probably still pick Deadpool just because I was a fan of the character beforehand and then there was the hope for the character when he was going to be at X-Men Origins

and then that was a fucking fat turd of a movie but like Ryan Reynolds got to play him there but not the good version but you're like oh shit like he would be everyone was excited because he knew that character you saw that his character meshed so well with his personality but I mean and there's a reason it's the

highest, you know, highest grossing X-rate or R-rated comedy ever. Is it? Not now when it came out. It would be out like the hangover. Damn. Yeah. But it's, honestly, it's a favorite character and it's a guy doing that character perfectly exactly how you would want that character done.

And just like Sandler, he's the king of the one-liners. Yes. Him talking about his big comfy masturbation shoes. He's just willing to go ahead and go into that spot that Sandler's not going to go because Sailor owns this other spot below it. Of, like, funny, but not too crude that he can't be a family movie. Yeah, he just goes full crude.

And he plays off of everybody. Reynolds is like, you're, you keep that. I'm not going to operate down there. I'll go up here. His system of just being able to joke through anything to have a full-on disease in his body is going to kill him. What do you call it?

Fatal disease? Yeah. Terminal. Terminal, yeah. A terminal. disease it's going to kill him and he's still joking with it. His wife in that, I forgot her real

name. It's Monica it's like a French name or something like that. Yeah, I can never read. She was in Gotham too. She's been in a bunch of stuff. She was like a big show Firefly or Serenity. And she's one of those people that does not look like when you see her, you're like, oh she's probably like in her like

maybe like late 20s. And then you see her like 10 years later. It's like, is she still in her late 20s. Like you guessed wrong from the get-go. But she was just like, so she's looked the exact same she doesn't feel like in them. She's super hot. All right.

I had, who did you have as your Honorable Mention? My honorable mention is third good from half-baked. Dave Chappelle, saving the day. Saving himself and his two buddies from

the cocaine. Saving one buddy from Nasty. Yeah. He did, I guess it's three buddies, yeah. Saved one from Nastynake, got him out of prison. And just his whole aura of being a custodian, but calling himself like the master of the custodial arts. And doctor calls him custodian, he calls the doctor scientist,

like just back and forth. He's, you just love him from point A to point B. Them having Wesley Pipes and Billy Bong Thornton, like just, it's the epitome of, just one of the best stoner movies ever. He's, there's just, he meets a girl named Mary Jane and falls in love with Mary Jane,

and then you get the soundtrack to go along with it. He's just the king in that movie. I wonder, like, can you imagine if, like, that, when that movie came up, like, that guy's going to be the biggest comedian? He'd already put in so much time being the great comedian that he was, I think, probably to get the role, because you're in there

with Jim Brewer? Like, you're gonna match. You are, but it was a super low budget movie. Oh, yeah. It's low risk, low, like, but at the same time, that probably also didn't get as popular. Once, like, Chappelle's show came out.

Can you imagine how many people went back to that? Probably blew up. Yeah, you're talking, you get Saggett doing a cameo in there, saying, weed is not a drug. You're a suck dick for weed. Well, it's yours.

I went with Carter from Rush Hour. And actually, I think I actually might want to, no i'll stick with carter i was thinking of chris tucker's other role in um he's not real i guess you could consider a hero so tucker was hilarious because he was just like the everman to jacky chan yep he was but he was an exaggerated everman he was a dude that grew up the son of an l a cop and had this style he never touch a black man's radio um no but then i was thinking about his role from from the fifth element when he's Ruby Rogg.

Yeah, yep. Also another quality role that he played. He kind of had that, I think him and Jackie's careers were kind of forever intertwined after rush hour because they made three of them.

I love hearing the stories when they talk about them still meeting up. He's like, I go over to Japan and see China and see Jackie all the time. He's like, Jackie's like the mayor of China. He's like, I go over there and he's got like Zontera walking around with him and I'm right in the middle of him.

He's like, Jackie, what's that building? He's like, I own that. one. He's like, for real? And he's like, yes. He's like, what about that building? He's like, oh, that one too. And he's like, seriously?

Jackie would have been a good honorable mention, too, because you not only get that, but you get the crossover, the Owen Wilson and Shanghai New and Shanghai Night. Dude, I thought about that, too. I was thinking about Roy and I was thinking about... Chung Wayne. All right. Kids. You went first last time.

Yeah. I'm not concerned about you taking it. I get a deep roll of decks here. I had one that I was talking about. wasn't a kids movie also so okay um i went with hercules the disney version why there wouldn't be really another kid's version but not the fuck the kids Kevin sorbo version well thanks no i went with yeah Disney's Hercules i don't think i've seen it you've never seen Disney's Hercules i wasn't a big Disney animated or really Disney guy i do have a Disney on my list

but i mean even i saw this when i was younger but i guess i've also seen it much more recently My kids' movies are probably Knowledge is probably much more recent and widespread in the yours right now Oh yeah Yours now is more than mine was back then Like I never seen that The one with the candle holder

And the hot girl Beauty in the Beast The Kangle what? Candleholder Thing that used to dance around The candelabra Yeah I've never seen that Lumier

Um The Auguste that one Yeah I've never seen it I basically man you're missing like you're missing one of like the like coolest like disney villains i work off of moulon and pretty much just move okay anyway well i'll just give you a little backstory it's the classic hercules legend he's the son of zeus and hera or no at this point he's oh hercules is usually the son of zeus and okay anyway this one son of zeus and another like queen of the

gods. Hades knows that he's going to somehow Hades has his plan brewing that he's going to take over Olympus. Does Hades have blue hair? Yes, it's James Spader. Not James Spader. Fuck. Who's the guy that was James Woods? The crazy

guy now. Yeah. Okay, so James Woods is Hades and Rip Torn is Zeus. No. Yes, it's hilarious. So anyway, Hades finds out that when Hercules grows up, he's going to ruin Hades' So he has his two little minions kidnapped baby Hercules, feed him this potion, he has to drink the whole thing, and it'll take away his godly powers, and then they can kill him.

So they kidnap the baby, they're having him drink all of this. He has to drink every single ass drop. A farmer and his wife interrupt the demons when they're trying to give it to him. They spill a drop of it. So he still retains his, like, godly strength, but he's, like, mortal, so he ages. He's raised by these good people. He's kind of an outcast. He finds out he's the son of Zeus.

He goes to train with this. How have you not seen this? He goes to train with a sater, you know, the half-goat man guy? It's Danny DeVito. Really? They trains him, yeah. It's Philithecus, and so he calls him Phil. And so then he meets this chick and saves her from like this guy,

but the chick is really working for Hades because he has to try to finish off Hercules or something. And then Hercules goes on to become a hero and do all these great things. he ends up getting, I think, too cocky or something like that and thinking he's all that. Did I just say all that? Yeah, it sounds like he was. Okay, anyway, something happens. He falls in love with the girl.

She's supposed to trick him. And then Hades attacks or something like that. Anyway, it's good worth you. You might have to borrow your kid and figure out of it or watch this. You can just watch it without my kid. Okay, I guess privacy of my own home. For some reason, I was thinking like Hastings, and I was renting it by myself

and I'd have to be like, hey, I got a kid, he's not mine, I found him, but we're going to go watch this. All right, who do you got? So my kids, out of my list, I think I have to go with George Knox,

Danny Glover from Angels in the Outfield. Real old throwback kids movie. You have Joseph Gordon Levitt as a child. You don't go with Tony Danza? No, because Tony Danza doesn't oh he does adopt him that's right

no no doesn't doesn't the no it is Danny Glover that adopts him yeah because he adopts the the friend too

yeah yeah Danza's just he's the pitcher yeah he's the okay so if we're talking about the hero technically

the baseball hero that everyone celebrates his Tony Danza because he won the game. But in my heart... No, no, no, but we get to see behind the scenes. We get to see who the real hero is. And it's the guy that gave those two boys a home. Yeah. And the one that believed him,

the one that understood that they saw Christopher Lloyd in a very eclectic role... Why did the angels... Why did the angels come to the outfield? What was it about that team, aside from the name, that made the service? of God, break the rules to come help them.

Like, did they win the World Series? Or those movies never, they're so ambiguous about the whole success for the team. All it took was one big win for that whole thing to pop off. I think it was them getting into the playoffs. So they were already that close to getting into the playoffs? Yeah, but they had their follies. There were guys taking fly balls to the head in the outfield, and they weren't great, but they... Still, it wasn't worse to first.

I think it was. I think they were garbage. And then... Yeah, because once they started showing up, and then Christopher Lloyd shows up, and he goes over and tells Danny Gloverhead and see, and then they get up and everybody starts doing the angel chant. And then at the end, there are no angels, but they need Tony Danza to believe that there are, so he gets up and does it, and then the rest of the fans start doing it,

and he thinks he has one, and he throws a strike. I would argue Joseph Gordon Levitt might be the hero on that. No, because at the end of the day, is he going home? That's true. He's still an orphan without. Danny Glover. Let's keep it with Glover. Just a fun kid's movie that had really

like we say not a great plot but it was just a cool fantasy. I like your pick. I feel like I've been too influenced in my picks by my child's watches and watching my proxy.

My runner-up was fucking Woody from Toy Story. I think Woody has a very good arc. We need your first one. We need your I said Hercules. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, okay. I talked about him for literally three minutes.

My brain's just so inundated with all these different new things. I got to see Hercules. All right. Woody goes from Andy's favorite toy. He gets replaced by Buzz, which also he does not handle it well, so I'm not going to give him praise for that. No. He tries to get rid of Buzz.

I don't think he intentionally tries to do what he does to Buzz by, like, He means to knock him behind the desk, and then he accidentally knocks him out the window, and then that's how it kind of pops off. Listen, I've watched a lot of toy story. I know the nuances of the toy psychology here. So anyway, they end up getting kidnapped by Sid. He does the right thing in the end. He helps Buzz. Tells Buzz, Andy needs you.

We're getting out of here together. Saves Buzz from getting launched up and blown up. They then get back into the moving truck, or they don't. He brings him with him. He's like, we're going from him. the box in the car they reunite. Second movie. They're best friends. They got a good thing going on.

Woody's got Bo Peep. They're close. Buzz is helping him run the room. They get played with equally. Then Woody gets kidnapped. Uh-oh. What's going on now? Buzz goes and saves him. Woody gets hooked up with all of these toys from his old Woody's Roundup show.

Used to be the super popular toy. Just like Buzz used to be. At the collector's house? that's the guy that kidnaps him because he wants to sell him to a toy museum in like Japan and he replaces the arm that would he lost he didn't lose it it was just like

kind of like it was torn but that's why Andy didn't take him cowboy camp because he didn't want to tear it off and lose it more anyway he ends up pass it up and saying you know what I know I could go be worshipped at this toy museum it's like but I miss my boy I miss my Andy

Miss my family yep I miss my book Pete. So he tries to go back. They guide the Stinky Pete ends up kidnapping him. They end up rescuing in the end. He ends up rescuing Jesse and Bullseye. So they don't end up getting sent to the toy museum. And

yeah, it brings all together as a family. And he hooks his boy Buzz up with Jesse. Don't remember that. Yeah, because then by the third movie, like Jesse and Buzz are together. And that's their little couple. Did Andy ever realize that he got more toys? just magically? No, no, he did. So after the second movie,

the third movie picks up where Andy is now like... That's where I checked out. Oh, because the third movie, Andy's going to college. So it's about them like, they end up going to like a daycare. Oh, weren't they tossed up in the attic

or something like that? He goes to set them by the attic through a series of events. The attic ladder pushes the bag of toys. It gets put into the trash pile. The toys end up getting... Okay, yeah.

And they end is escaping, but then getting in the box to go to the daycare. So at this point, this is kind of like, there's a weird, like, this is Andy's Toy Story, and then there's the Bonnie, three and four, the Bonnie Saga. But no, so he ends up getting them all set up with his Bonnie chick, getting him a new home, and then in the fourth one, he ends up, he loses bow several years before, and he's been without his partner for, like, the last, it would have been like the last 10 years. So then he actually runs back into Bo during a vacation

and he gets to make the choice at the end to go with the rest of the toys and stay with Bonnie. Or to stay with Bo. And Buzz looks at him. He's like, I don't know what to do, Buzz. And Buzz goes, it'll be all right. And he's like, yeah, like he's going to have to go with toys and he looks at him and goes, Bonnie will be all right.

He knows that's his boy, giving him the go-ahead to stick with Bo Peep. and so then he watches them drive off and he's sitting up on top of like the merry-go-round and buzzing all them are at the back window as they drive off you see what do you go to infinity

and then buzzes in the RV pulling away and it goes and beyond or might be switched around that's a cheesy show I'm not gonna lie to the first time I saw that because I had not seen three and four as a kid because I'd grown out of that

I'm sitting and watching it with the kid and that happens and like I'm just like Oh my God Catch yourself A little man It did I was like

I saw like You know I saw how long ago It was Yeah It's the The longest build ever It's the end of journey

Now All right Who'd you have For Um So the one that I got Shot down Apparently

It's not a A kids movie Um I tried to go With Connor O'Neal Kiani Reeves From Hardball

That's a movie About kids Not made for kids That's maybe Where I got Things confused because I forgot that baby G ends up getting killed. Because if you think about it, Bad News Bears really isn't made for kids.

It's made about, the funny thing is about the kids. Yeah, with Walter Mathel and then Billy Bob. So, my honorable mention is just probably my favorite. I don't even know it's a Disney movie. I think it is, Red or Tooie? Yeah. Remy? Yeah.

I love Remy. A fantastic mouse, a fantastic cook. Do you, yeah. Is that what you identify with? Look for food? Yeah, I absolutely loved it. And I don't know if maybe that's just the inroads that I need. Isn't Pat Nosswald his...

Mm-hmm. Katie doesn't like Pat Nosswald's voice. He doesn't like... And I was like, he's perfect for this character. Yeah, he's a little mousy human being, voicing a mouse. Yes. It's perfect. It works his way up in one of the most famous French kitchens in the world.

Gustose. It had fallen on some harder times, but... Gustose gets taken over. And it gets to control... Yeah. Linguini? And it's just the way that it works is, it makes so much sense that he's just up there pulling hairs to control arms and legs. I like how he does this, and then he's like, whisking with the hairs and learning how to drive him and everything.

Yeah, he's running the symphony of the man. It's great movie, probably my favorite Disney movie. That's animated at least. Okay. Pete break before we move on to horror. Okay. All right. We're on one back.

All right, we got horror. I think it's you first this time Okay Dug deep into the archives for this One of my favorite scary movies Probably not as scary now as it was as a kid I went with Oh yeah

Billy from Gremlins Billy from Gremlins Yeah Is he one of the Gremlins? He's the young boy The young boy who's given the Gremlin From his father That

He ends up accidentally feeding them too late, but then they have to go around and kill all the gremlins in the night to save everybody from the gremlin overtaking. Oh yeah, we were doing heroes, sorry. Yeah. I was like, I'm, because I know we just talked about this, right? We were walking back from the bathrooms about

the villains one. It's in my right. Didn't he kill them? Like, are you pro-gremlin? Depends on how you're watching that movie, man. Yeah, there's an argument to be made. They're just trying to expand. To the gremlins, if we were gremlins right now, we'd be talking about this guy. Well, they weren't allowed

eat after midnight. Like, they didn't have any liberties to be able to do that. It's just a sweet movie that was made... I'm not going to lie you, dude, that movie. I don't think I've ever sat and watched that start to finish. Really? I've seen, like, chunks of it. But, man, to me, that movie was fucking scary.

It was super scary, and I think... I don't remember the last time I saw it, but it just... It wasn't even that violent. It was just... They were all creepy when they would hatch from the eggs. It was really gross. and then they fucking bait you with Gizmo

because you're like he's so fucking cute like oh my god it's oh my God they're gonna kill Gizmo Gizmo had to have been what they looked at and made Furbys and then I know and then when you saw him when he was wearing the headband and he has the tiny flaming hair

and you were just like get the fuck out of here just the creepiest thing for the 80s and starts in a very 80s fashion where a father who travels a lot wants to bring his son home a gift so he goes and visits a

Chinese shop or an old Chinese. Oh but here's what's funny about it. He travels along wants to get his kid a gift but instead of getting him a gift from his travels he just like gets home and then goes to some exotic place. He tried. I can try to make it happen. Here's the other thing too.

Man that's a pet with a lot of rules. Yeah, why are we not starting with a dog or a hamster or something? Like you're starting right up at Gremlins where you don't know what goes wrong. Like, hey, do you have anything that doesn't require, like, how about something with one rule? Can we start with something with one rule?

Like, hey, you have to feed and water it. That's the rule or it dies. Mm-hmm. Start baseline it. Put it up a shit. Don't start saying I got to start keeping time. Yeah. Or I can't get, how the fuck do you clean it if it gets dirty?

No water, yeah. It's just... Dry shampooed the shit out of this? That wasn't a thing back in the 80s. No, we didn't have that kind of technology. I don't know. Yeah, it was very rulesy, but... Does steam count? Because it's wet.

It is water. Yeah, so you can't even dry clean him. But it... He saves the day, though. He comes back. He makes sure that all the gremlins are squashed out. He did lose Gizmo, so that was very sad because he lost his pet, and he was overall an adorable pet, but I think the world was...

Doesn't Gizmo come back for Gremlin's too? I never saw Gremlin's too. He doesn't lose Gizmo. Gizmo. in Gremlins too. Is he? Yeah. Okay, so I guess the hero gets his prize back.

Yeah. He still defeats the bad gremlins, though. He defeats the Gizmonds. Yeah, he saves the world. Because, yeah, Gizmo isn't a gremlin. I can't remember the name of the character is. It's not a wombat, but it's something weird like that. Something crazy.

All right. I'm glad we kind of went in different directions with this. I went Ripley from aliens. Alien, alien, alien, like all the aliens. Yeah. Focusing on franchises gives you. you so much more of a run with the character.

And here's the thing that I liked about it too, is like when the movie, the first one first came out, there were all these options for like who would be like the hero in the movie. And so I think like if you were to like look at it from like the characters

you'd be like, oh it's obviously like this dude or this person but like she was like way down on the list but then it flipped it on its head. So it's like first of all it's a really simple like premise for a horror movie. like here in space no one can hear you scream there's a monster loose on this ship

and they were like the way she ended up being the one to survive and everything and then fight it and then come back in the second one and even like a bigger role like Sigarney Weaver's like hot yeah very much so but yeah like in the second one

to then be like fucking machine guns and flame throwers and all that shit but yeah because I do feel like alien or aliens is kind of a horror movie. Yeah, it's... I definitely consider it a horror movie. You're scared. I mean, it's...

Right, who do you got? Oh, did you already go? Yeah, so my honorable mention is a little outside the box again. Sean from Sean of the Dead. Classic zombie movie mixed with a little bit of humor. What's his name? Simon Pegg. Simon Pegg, that's right.

He's always got... got his fat buddy that I don't remember his name. Oh, it's, uh, is it Nick something? It might be, yeah, I don't know his last name. Yeah, Nick Frost. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's Nick Frost. So they just went on the streak because you can even throw, maybe just Simon Pegg is the man playing the characters,

because he's also in the alien movie with Seth Rogan, uh, Paul. Oh, yeah. Which was a very good, underrated movie. I thought you were just combined two movies. I thought you, because they did a movie called at World's End, where they traveled over the bars and the name of the line. That's right. And then Seth Rogen did this as the end. I thought you were going to say he was with Sutherberg.

I was like, no, but no, him and Paul, yeah. Because Seth Rogen played the voice of Paul. Yep, and then you get Jason Bateman as the FBI agent to protect him. And what's her name? The One-Eyed Girl, blonde hair. She's in McRuber. Oh, Kristen Wig. Yeah, Kristen Wig.

as the evangelical preacher's daughter who the evangelical preacher from the initial pick. We're talking about all of his other... Okay, well, fuck it, I'll go with Paul then. Paul's my honorable mention. So I'm pagan Paul. Okay.

Sean of the Dead is great because it... That's not a horror movie. It's zombies. Paul isn't? Oh, Paul... They're picking... It's a counter of a horror movie. Okay, we'll get back.

Okay. Back to Sean of the Dead. He ends up saving the girl that just broke up with him, he saves his parents, which dry British humor to me doesn't always translate. I was just thinking about that too. I was like, I think that might be close to my introduction to like British humor. And so I think that's a, like, that's either, that's not a fence that you straddle. Either you like British humor or you don't like British humor. Well, and it's, like British office bad. American office, great. There's certain things that we just do

better. And, and the other thing, too, is, like, it depends on, like, because I do think some, like, Ricky Jerva's stuff is funny, but I think, like, like, it's got to be, like, different types of humor in the United States.

There's so many different types of humor. It's just, like, you don't like that type of British humor, but I do, like, silent pigs type of humor. Yeah, he's very fun. Because he also just, like, physical, like, kind of, like, physical fun of stuff. And the whole premise of having the bar is the safe house where they always have a drink

that they can have, and it's very British, but it's just very, very funny and the zombies are really well done I think I went with Chief Brody from Jaws That's a good pick

I forgot about Jaws But like I was trying to think I was like What movie made like me actually feels her way and something to where I still think about it Like do you wonder if like Jaws never

it came out and it never inspired like of course there would be other shark movies and everything like that but like I think Jaws didn't it put like a legitimate fear of swimming or the ocean in people like a lot of people

yeah it's for a lot of people that haven't like actually seen a shark which I guess I've seen him in aquariums but if you don't have like a good knowledge of a shark you just immediately think that every great way it looks like Jaws which is terrifying because he's taken down both boats and but like yeah so that movie like the shark was so like and you look and you watch it now

and if you like it was animatronic wasn't it yeah and so once you actually saw like the shark actually like come kind of up out of the water you were just like it killed the illusion it was over so fast it was like the you know with the records crash it's like yeah that's me I bet you're wondering how I got here but yes that completely like broke the illusion but if you kind of has been displayed. It's an awesome story, but yeah, so this guy is literally scared of the ocean. He was in a coastal town.

He's just a cop, he's just a cop. And all of a sudden, he's got people getting eaten in his town, and guess what he does? He's like, we've got to shut down the beaches. We can't have people get eaten up in this town. And this is the last concern on his list, I'm sure. Like, he never thinks that this is ever going to happen. No, this is probably a nightmare scenario

for him, but he's like, listen, I'm going to talk to the mayor, Beach is going to be closed. We're going to not have any other people getting eaten. Mayor Tails and, hey, about that. So this is like summertime, and our island kind of needs tourism. Beach has got to stay open haws. And he's like, but there's a shark out there.

And he's like, Shark, Schmark. He's like, we'll get some people out there in boats with fucking rifles and patrol around a little bit. Well, guess what happens? Someone else gets eaten in front of a whole bunch of people. Then they got a higher shark hunter who ends up being a fucking. fucking psychopath. And then guess what the cop does? He's like,

guess I gotta go with this guy. And you get Richard Drus in there. And some like cocky, like college graduate, marine biologist, hot shop. Smug coming out of his hair. Oh my God,

so goddamn smug. All right. So last category. Sci-fi fantasy. Yeah. So this is you first. That sounds like a sex thing. Sci-fi fantasy?

Yeah, like that would be a song like, I'll be a sci-fi fantasy. I did fantasy adventure. Okay. Which also, I guess, could be a genre. That's true. Sci-fi fantasy adventure is probably a genre. Okay.

I forgot who at first. I did Goonies or Gremlin's last. All right. I love with Gandalf. Good play. Safe play? I don't think it's... Oh, yeah.

You're probably safe because what I'm going to say makes it probably is safe. So yes, the entire... the entirety of both the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings would not have occurred were not like specifically for Gandalf. He's the one that in the Hobbit gives Thor and the idea and the key to the mountain and the map and accompanies them as far as he can. He's also the one that goes to see if Soron is still living and gets captured. He's also the one that helps get Bilbo released and comes and defends in about the five armies, gets Bilbo home, then he ends up figuring out that Bilbo has the one ring,

guides Frodo, through Middle Earth, dies, fight a fucking flaming, winging firebowl. Yeah, it was a bad matchup. The Bulldog? Yeah. So comes back with a fresh new look, all white. you know how hard that would be to keep clean in Middle Earth?

He's a wizard. But the thing is, it does get a little dirty, but it's just around, like, you know, the part that we touch the ground. Yeah. And you're like, you're telling me you're not running with all the horses

all the time, you're not getting mud splattered on that. You're not rolling it up when you're walking around. You choose one side or the other. You're a wizard, and the whole thing stays clean, or don't make us think

that it's just staying on the hem. Yeah, you have some tied at home, I'm sure that you could have clean that up with. Yeah, but anyway. his I don't know why but the first picture that I always get

is him the fight on the bridge Yeah that's against the more with the guy with the whip Yeah it's probably his best scene for me Yes And he then he goes on to like Take one of the guys to the

City that's getting fought over in the return of the king And he gets the whole defenses in that city That's a good one too Yeah He's got a lot of great fights in it Then he goes to Mount Doom or to the gates, and he's getting ready to fight with those guys

to give Frodo a chance to get to the... Listen, he's the driving force. If he's the Tom Brady of the fellowship, end of Middle Earth. You just, he won with the Patriots when he was, you know, in the Hobbit. Guess what? Was he too old? Did he not have it anymore?

Throw him in the same type of role with the Fellowship of the Ring. Go down to Tampa Bay and the Fellowship of the Ring. There you go. Still gets him to Mount Doom. Instead of Get him. in that ring, he destroys that ring. Ageless wonder. There you go.

Well, yeah, that's going to be a tough one to follow up. I've got to go a different vein, and I went with Ben Stiller in The Secret Life of Walter Middy. You ever seen it? I've not seen. It's visually being high in seeing him in Iceland is... It's amazing. If you watch it on a high-res TV or U.HD or something like that,

it'll just blow your mind. But... I think I've seen... Does he know hot springs or some type of a pool or something? He longboards through glaciers in Iceland. So he's a... I'm confusing the sites from that,

from probably that Zach Efron travel show where they go to Iceland and look at all like that. Yeah. Yeah, so he's... Like, he works for Time Magazine, and he has a certain job at Time Magazine, and he's like a risk coordinator or something like that and he's just always played his life as safely as possible

because of his job what he does and he has is this the same job that he has in a long-came poly or he's an insurance risk adjuster sort of except for he yeah I mean he kind of plays a similar character as far as it's safe but it it was originally a book back in like a long time ago like early 1900s and there was an original version that was made in like 1945 that was black and white and it was really pretty good but this one just expounds

on it because he has a like a field photographer that sends him back pictures that they've had this long 20 year relationship together and one day he gets a letter from him as they find out that Time magazine's starting to close down

its print edition and just move everything to digital so this guy's sends him back a note and a role of negatives and says, I think it's like slide 25. In this picture, slide 25, I captured the essence of life. And I want this to be on the cover of the last time magazine ever. So he pulls out the negatives and he's looking, that slide's gone. And he knows that he has to get this. The photographer's already sent it over to the editor and said,

is the slide that I need. Walter has it. Get it from him and that's the one that you'll develop and put on there. So the guy comes to Walter, Walter realizes that it's missing, but he has this other role of negatives of all these places that the photographer's been and where he should be to run into him to try to get the picture or the negative if he didn't send it or whatever. So he ends up telling the guy, yeah, I'll get it to you, give me a second, and follows all the way across the world.

He goes over, I think it's into Scotland, and then he sees that there's a boat in one of the pictures, in one of the negatives, and it's registered in Greenland. So he's just following clues, all these places, like a kind of a worldwide voyage to try to track down, looking for clues and all these pictures. In this time where he's just never done anything in his life, he goes on this full-on exploration to Iceland, to Greenland,

and he ends up, one of the things that came with the letter was a wallet that the guy had given him for, 20 years of being his guy back home and he doesn't really think much of it so he keeps trying to track this guy down every step that he gets to he realizes that he just missed him like he gets to excuse me he gets to the boat talks to the captain captain's like he was here two days ago we just dropped him off in this port ends up chasing him down never ends up finding him he just always one step short returns back to america tells the guy what happened he ends up getting fired from time magazine goes over talking to his mom and in one of the negatives he sees like an archway and he doesn't know

what it is but he goes to his mom's house tells her what happened throws away the wallet walks into his mom's front room and realizes that it's the music stand holder on her piano and he had come back to America and talk to his mom and his mom says yeah he came back he told me all this stuff he he told me what a great guy you've been he explained everything that he's done in life. And so he surmises from the clues where he's going to be. And he ends up flying over and meeting up with the guy.

And he sits out, they find like the rarest snow leopard in the world. And he ends up getting to be there when the guy takes the picture of the snow leopard. So like he's fulfilled. So Ben Stiller's not, I'm guessing, Walter Middy. He is. Yeah. Oh. He's Walter Middy chasing down the guy.

Oh, so it sounds like what it's... See? It's a misleading title because it sounds like this other guy's got the secret life. So it sounds like Ben Stiller's going after to find out about the secret life of Walter Midd. His secret life is always his mind wanting to do the things that this guy does. Like he's living vicariously through him. I still want to watch this despite what you've described him. Well, and I don't want to give away the end.

Okay. Then don't do that. Yeah, it's just the imagery is incredible. Like watching him conquer all of his own fears of going out and doing things. and putting everything in his imagination into practice is like he's almost the hero of his own story at that point, which I find to be very cool. All right.

I just went way more simple than you did. I just went Dutch from Predator. Also great. That was for honorable mention. Yeah. I think with Dutch, guess what? What you see is what you get back. You missed your two pigs.

Huh? You missed your two pigs. you two picks. You did Alien and Predator, and then we ran into Alien versus Predator. The movie. What are you talking about? Alien versus Predator.

Yeah. You ran your two franchises together. Yeah. That happened to in real life. It was horrible. No, but that's what you see is what you get. You get Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, just his peak juiciness.

Yeah. Just all kinds of freaking roared it up. You get a Jack Carweathers. You get. The handshake. When someone says, like, you know when they say the play? You know. You know what they're talking about.

The catch, the same thing, the handshake. Exactly. It's that, the arms. If you say the handshake, it's that grasp, that Dylan, you son of a bitch. That arm wrestling grasp. What's about the Dylan? I got you pushing too many pencils. Oh.

I went pretty normal with mine. my honorable mentions Danny Ocean from Ocean's 11 See I like that one because you did do a franchise guy You got to see Danny evolve And Clooney's played in fucking everything Men Who stare at goats See Danny Ocean is how See I feel like Danny Ocean

That's how I imagine George Clooney is probably the most like in real life Swam Very nice Always well dressed Probably two steps ahead of everybody He's ever met. Yeah, he's so cool. And even in that situation, I mean, he's robbing from some pretty shitty people.

Does that make him a criminal? Yeah, he's robbing Al Pacino. One of them, I think he does it in one of the movies. The other guy is Andy Garcia in the first one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he gets Pacino maybe. He's at great value of Pacino, I think. Yeah, a little bit.

He has that same aura to him. He doesn't, he could never play Tony. Montana, but he can probably play Tony Montana as like Slow Brother. Johnny Montana. Johnny Montana. Yeah. Johnny Montana. All right, man.

That's a clasped in on heroes. Now we're just going to do villains. All right. Stay tuned, guys. Later. Peace. All right, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for joining us for another episode. If you like what you heard, hit that subscribe and like button.

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