Historically High - The History of Hygiene

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

You ever think about time travel? Yeah us too. How bad do you think people in the past smelled when their baths were considered a luxury, only to happen a few times each year. Or how about when people literally shit in buckets inside, only to fling open their windows and toss the contents into the street. And what the fuck were humans wiping their asses with? You've got questions we've got disgusting answers. You may need to shower after this one. Support the show Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The other part that would be awful about that would be the bounce back. And seeing other women do it differently than you and not healing the same. I would lose my fucking mind if I just had a kid and my body wasn't bouncing back the way that like Tina's down the street was that just had a kid too. That shit would drive me crazy. I don't know how women put up with that kind of stuff, man. I'll get into this with you. This will be a good lead in. Maybe.

Actually, yeah, because this does have something to tie into this. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I, having witnessed, it actually happened. I will never, from a physical pain standpoint, like I know the women can get epidurals and stuff like that,

Katie's epidural fell out halfway through. And with an epidural, yes, it does last for a little bit, but the reason they have to keep an epidural in there is because it's a constant feed of that numbing agent. So once it's out, it wears off. So she had to go through the worst part of it and everything with no pain medication. as soon as the doctor was like they were rolling her kind of side to side and like oh the epidural came out

it was just kind of this weird like awkward moment in the room where the decision had to be made like because it was a pain in the ass for them to get it in there she had to stick her a couple times she's in the middle of fucking labor like so she's like leave it out outside standpoint an epidural you have to do a spinal tap that's what it is because it numbs you from whatever whatever they literally tap it down feed it down your entire spine there's not no no no no not in that sense they will just go directly into the... That's even worse. Because at least they're fishing it down. They're just jamming that shit in your spine. They're finding the space

where they can get to your nerves and stuff. Yeah. And so, as soon as she was like, nope, I'll just do it regular. At that point, I was just like, fuck me. Like, I couldn't do that. I make noises if I try to pass too big of a shit. It's sort of similar. But, yeah, seeing, but kind of seeing that, seeing what women go through. and then what their bodies have to rebound with,

it's fucking crazy to, that they're able to do that, that's able to come out of them, their bodies are able to go ahead and recover, and of course they're not going to recover the same, like some women just naturally are in better shape than another. I mean, that's just biologically. It does, but.

So I mean, your genes are going to go ahead and determine how quickly I think you bounce back. Your activity level is going to, if you have help, like a lot of help with your kids, it's going to let you be more active earlier on. And so, I mean, I think it also depends kind of on your, both your financial circumstances, your assistant circumstances, all that kind of ship factors into that. It's just the luck of the draw, though.

Essentially, genetically, yes. And you have to try to get yourself in that mindset. I couldn't do that. I couldn't be like, well, it's just genetics why she's bounced back faster than me. And everyone knows somebody who, you know, are outliers, things like that, that you break an arm or something like that. Someone heals two weeks before you and you're just kind of like, the fuck. You see football players. Genetic freaks.

Yes, football players that fucking have to have surgery and then they, it's, you know, week eight that they fucking either break something. What was it that, uh, Beckham had? Adrian Peterson. Or Adrian Peterson. When he tore his ACL and he was back in less than 12 months. Yeah. It was like the last week of the season and he came back like the third week of the next one.

He came within the same season. Was it? I think so. Fuck. I know that there have been injuries. that they've said that this person will not come back. They came back and made it for the playoffs. But it's those situations where, like,

they are also getting top-tier medical treatment or top-tier recovery. Recovery, of course, you know, if you have more resources for recovery, you're going to bounce back faster. I'm just so glad that I don't have to be that shit. But not only is that still prevalent, like all the recovery and all the crazy, like, stuff that they have to do now, let's go back in time for this shit.

We're not talking about, because I think you would probably get real uncomfortable. We're not going to be going to talk about ancient pregnancy and shit like that. But we're talking historical hygiene. I think this gets really overlooked when people talk about, think about anything historical. Because what's the first thing? If you got dropped in to like jolly old, jolly old London in like the 17th century, what do you think the first thing?

Do you think it's going to be a visual shock? Do you think it's going to be an audible shock? Or do you think it's going to be a fucking like olfactory like smell? shock is going to be the first thing that hits you. Their shock is going to be seeing my teeth because American dental plans, even now, so much better. What is your shock going to be? Let's pretend these people don't even really like see you. You're in a, you're in a Marty McFly, Doc Brown going back to the Wild West situation where

apparently you blend in kind of easily, except for your hat, Mr. Aistwood. What? That's, remember when they go back and the first person that Marty runs into, I think after he gets away from the Indians is he finds his relative, Seamus McFly. It was the first Irish, no. Oh, the third one? Yes.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Seamus is the, and it's, yeah, and he's like, and he says his name is Clint Eastwood. He's like, Mr. Eastwood. He's like, you lost your heart. But the smell, man, the fucking smell. I am convinced that either the, I think it's called the olfactory. Is that what your nose is?

I think olfactory Your alfactory Senses are both like Because you know how you can breathe in And you can catch a scent of something sometimes I think it's the whole thing that does both taste and smell I don't think that existed back then I don't know how it could either that or these people

Were the most nose blind people ever You would just be it would be from the time you were born To the time like You moved out of the city You were still around You still had to deal with waste management in your own shitty way. But like living in the,

let's just fucking get into it and kind of get back, go back to the start. Yeah, this will definitely lead us back to where we just were. But me, the way that I took a look at the way like historical hygiene,

I had to start damn near as far back as I could think of with something that we still have around today and has kind of come in and out of vogue for a long time. This is, excuse me, something I think I said

in the uh, uh, the gay bride month episode. Mm-hmm. What was the? That was, uh,

hotel. Oh, um, Stonewall in. Stonewall. Yeah. I think a bathhouse would be a blast. And bathhouses date back so fucking far.

It's, so we're starting at the time when bathhouses were something that existed, right? Like public baths. So prior to that, so you're saying that one of the early stone public bath houses I see, have it up there was in the Indus Valley, Pakistan, around 2,500 BC. So let's use that as our jumping off point for established bathing habits.

Prior to that, it was, and going back to like fucking people in loincloths, Neanderthals, and shit like that. Is it thall or tall? I've heard it both ways. I feel, you know what? I'm going to say Thal because I just heard myself say Neanderthal, and I made myself say it, and it sounded like I was being ridiculous. I'm going to say Neanderthal. I didn't know if I was saying it. No, I think it's probably me.

but do you think it was how long remember how you like to talk about the first guy that the tribe made go do something love it the tester how long do you think it was before someone was like do you have to fucking shit in that corner of the cave like you're the only one that shits in that corner of the cave like shit outside like it's cold there's fucking giant cats out there that are gonna eat me they're like quit shit in the fucking cave it stinks i get that to your side of the cave and you can do whatever else you want just don't make my side stain. Don't just bury it either because the shit's still in the cave. There will be a bear that comes and smells that shit and tries to eat both of us. But just think of how like animal, here's the thing too. Animal asses,

I can't believe we're going to discuss this. Animal asses are somehow designed to be self-cleaning the right word because. Cheekless though. That's what I'm getting at. The asshole has no resistance to the outside world. It's just asshole,

freedom. Us, it's this asshole hidden inside this fucking, like, Tupperware that you got to fucking make sure is open enough to get it out and then you have to clean the lid of the Tupperware, both lids. Unless you get a golden one. Yeah, I agree. Exactly. Or you're shitting, spreading your butt cheeks.

And open it, it gets out. The bat weighing on the toilet. I feel like this is just going to be the theme like the attitude of the entire podcast. So that's good. Okay, so you basically have people wearing furs that are just squatting and shitting. And how long do you think it was before someone was like, I got to try to like, I can't wait for my every six month getting down to the river to maybe just kind of like, not even

purposely wash myself to fish. And then I get cleaned somehow that way because I'm in the water. But like, when do you think it's eventually someone, probably the weird caveman that nobody liked was like picking up leaves and started wiping his ass with the leave and they're like what are you doing over there weirdo the leaf to wipe the ass was an invention of necessity there was some dude got so fucking tired of using gravel or whatever he could to try a handful of dirt yeah yes exactly he got so tired of that that he had to have been walking through the forest one day and like he felt something rub against his shoulders that didn't feel too bad yeah i wonder and how

many of those guys accidentally grabbed poison ivy and went back to their cave and wiped their ass with something that was poisonous a nettle or something like that and then had that's how you designate yourself as the tester the first guy that wiped his ass with poison ivy was from that point forward the one that they gave all that was the guy like this guy can do anything you got a promotion in the tribe bro but i mean leaves technically weren't even okay here's the other thing too leaves weren't even used that often there was other stuff that was used before leaves that they somehow thought was a good idea. We'll get into that when we talk about the inventions and the days when they came around,

because some of these are shockingly. But also think that, like, there were people that probably were wearing, like, I don't know how accurate the garb that we've seen, like, how they dress up, like, Neanderthals in, like, museums and stuff like that were it's like an animal fur. I'm sure it was very close to that. That makes sense you're building something to go and cover yourself out of animal fur. I think they've found even, like, remnants of that kind of shit. It could have. I just, I don't know if I buy that they went to, in colder areas, I'm sure.

Yeah. But I don't understand why they would ever just not go naked. They probably did it somewhere because you've also seen Aztec, Amazonian tribes that wear literally just the little fucking G-strings and the, like, dick pouches and everything. Hold your twig and berries in place. Exactly. How tempting do you think it is is you're sitting over a log. You got your butt flap holding up in the back so it doesn't get shit on it. And then your wiping device was you drop the butt flap and then use the butt flap.

of your fucking loin cloth to just scrub your ass. You're like, I'm clean. Better to have it outside on the loin cloth than still inside the cheek. I don't know, because then you're taking the loin cloth, at least, like, if it's on the cheeks and everything, that might somehow... I don't... That's a skin annoyance. I know, but then you're also just carrying around. But what's going to happen when you go to sit down?

You're just sitting in the shit that you just wiped. Maybe flip it around, maybe take it off. There's a reason that we don't go back and look at the intellectual prowess of the early man. So anyway, I think that's probably where it started, just wipe beneath her with your hand and trying to wipe, flip it off. You know, when you get something on your hand, you're just trying to do the little hand flip like you're packing a can. Just trying to. Even some of the cultures around the world, how they do it. I think it's in Saudi Arabia.

They were taught at a young age, like, I don't know, it had to have been just way back in history. But they wipe their ass with their left hand and they eat with their right hand. Yes. So it's considered disreserved. respectful to shake your hand with your shit wiping hand. Dude, like, okay, no,

let's think of it this way. Do you shake, do you wipe with your right hand? No, I have a, a, a, a,

a, you are not always in a bidet situation. If you are in a situation where you're not at home and there's no bidet available, what do you wipe with? It has to do our right hand

because I'm convinced my left arm is just shorter. Okay. I don't know how that's possible, I think it's because you ever throw a ball with your left hand. The mechanics, you don't have any type of like,

limp wrist. Yeah, and you don't have, your mechanics don't flow. So when you pull up on your right cheek to go down with your left hand, the angle feels, it feels like your left butt cheek is built different than your right butt cheek. Like,

you're like, that's the wrong angle. I don't have that much ass. Like, when really it's just so many years of your body training to bend one way and it has to figure it out it has to do it the other direction. Okay, so I think it's a consensus then.

Those that don't have a bidet, which is still a large percentage of the population, do shake hands with the hand that they wipe with. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I used, thinking back on that, I know that they talked about in the middle ages or whenever, when they would shake hands, they would reach up the sleeve to make sure the other guy didn't have a dagger. I'd probably be doing that because I'd be worried that that guy just wiped his bare ass.

Do you think that's why, you know, when you see the really cool handshakes that always take place in like Viking movies? And it's the one where they go to clasp it and they clasp, both of them class the upper forearm. Oh yeah. And then join. Do you think that was because they had shit on their hands? They knew. They just knew. You always know.

Like it's another, like I know you're going to shake my hand. with that hand. So let's just shake forearms because I know you can get in duty way up on that forearm. Your arm's not that long. Yeah. Well, here's the other thing too.

With, I actually think the whole idea, where did you say it took, it was in Iraq? Oh, where they found a bathhouse? No, no, the hand thing. Like Saudi Arabia. Okay. Kind of desertish countries over there.

What do they call that area? This is going to sound really ignorant. That whole, the Middle East. Uh-huh. That was pretty simple, actually. There's something about the Middle East that I didn't understand. before, but most of their

ethnicity, it's not necessarily like Afghani or Pakistani. They do use those words. But it's traced back to a Persian lineage. Oh, yes. It's so weird to think... That's because the Persian Empire was so big for so long and had so many different, like, rulers that branched out that, you know, you have... It's like why there's still

like some type of, like, Asian influences in part of what's considered, like, Russia that's close to... China and stuff like that. That's where you get kind of those areas where they're still an influence just because they're so big and they branched out so much. Well, that didn't, we grew up like the Middle East after like World War I or some shit like that. Part of it was divided up after. So we made that happen later on. They just would consider themselves personally. I find that to be very cool though because whenever you're Persian, you always think a Persian, it's like,

well, that's not a country anymore. So where the fuck is that from? Exactly. Yeah. But it's just all these different countries in the Middle East. I do like that idea though. The left hand and the right hand. I actually like that. But having a kid and going through potty training as we speak, I see why that is not a thing anymore. Because all you're trying to do is to teach your kid to wipe their ass by themselves as quickly as possible that you, I've dealt with so much shit that's not my own. Literally shit that's not my own. That if I was able to take one week off that by training him just to use his dominant hand. to do that act. I'm not taking the extra week to do the left hand

to instill this. I like the idea, but guess what? I'm tired. I just want it to end. It has to be adapted later on in life. That has to be something where you can sit down and have a discussion and be like, look, man, I get this is going to sound weird. We spend too much on toilet paper.

You know that hand that you don't write with and that feels kind of funny like it's not as good? That's your ass wipe in hand. You don't eat with that hand ever again? I don't have it in me. I don't have that in me. They have to make bidets for children, right? I'm sure that you can, yeah, I'm sure.

Here's the thing is, badees are so prominent outside of our country that I think that most places that have bedaises that are much more common. Yeah, little kids are, honestly, man, that would be the way to go is just teach the kid be like, you don't even have to know how to wipe. Just press the button right here.

This is the button. I'm going to put a piece of tape over it that has an X on it. You press that one and that'll clean your butt. It's great until the, pat yourself dry. Until the day comes at that they're like, hey, I want to visit America. I want to see how it goes. And then they come over here.

They're like, what? You guys ball this dry paper up and wipe your ass with it? Where's the button? It's demolition man. Do you remember in Demolition Man? Or Arnold, or not Arnold Stallone doesn't know how to use. And he's like, what's with the three seashells? And they're like, what do you mean?

He's like, you guys are out of toilet paper. And they start laughing. She's like, back in the early 19th century or 20th century, they would use wotted up pieces of paper to clean themselves. And everyone just starts fucking laughing. And he's supposed to use the three. sea shell things, which did you read about the sea? Okay. Do you think

that's why Demolition Man used the sea. I didn't know about the sea shells. I just thought they were decorative. The more we learn about history, the more I see little things that pop up and shit like Waterworld and different movies where it seems like it was crazy and something that they just came up with. It's a reversion back to something that's practical. Yeah, well, we went back down the evolutionary scale and just had to do what we needed to do. All right. So kind of getting back to the actual war, we're going to

pick up. on 2,500 BC, earliest known public baths were built in the Indus Valley in Pakistan. This makes a lot of sense to me because you would think that, of course, bathing habits and hygiene are going to be more important in climates where it's very hot and it doesn't rain. And it doesn't rain. So basically, a bathhouse is exactly what it sounds like. I mean, pull out your phone and Google ancient bathhouses and a lot of them were outdoors.

but basically a building that's surrounding a courtyard in the courtyard is a big pool. And people would go in and at this point there's not really soap to speak of. No, not even close. And in these bathhouses, depending on how fancy these places were, I don't know what the filter, not even filtration, what the like drainage or replacement of the water situation. Like do they do it every few days? Because depending on when you're getting in there, you could be getting the tail end. You want to be first. Oh, yeah.

To think about it, it makes so much sense to me that they were public bathhouses. Because if you wanted to have like a private bath in your house, there's so much work that you have to do in procuring the water, getting the water to where you need it to be. Depending on if you want it to warm, you're going to have to put it over a fire to boil it. Then you're going to have to carry that hot ass pot to wherever it is that you're, excuse me, your rudimentary bathtub. Some type of brick or clay or basin. Anything that's big enough for you to get in, it would just be such a labor-intensive thing that even afterwards to get all that,

to get rid of all that water, if you don't drink it because you probably wanted that source of water. Use it to water plants or do laundry in or something. It was precious, yeah, it was a precious thing. So the act of even getting rid of that water afterwards is going to make you just as stinky as before. You don't have soap. And the reason that, you know,

public bath houses, they still exist. Most of them exist in Europe and that area, like old world. The other thing too is that a lot of them were just like,

it wasn't like they were public, like all of the public, because they still charged for it. So you, this isn't for everybody. This is still bathing was almost like a privilege of the wealthier, the well-to-do.

Even in public bathhouses, I mean, the public baths were, of course, offered to, like, a lower tier, lower social, you know, class. Because of the really rich people would also have their own private baths. They would have private bass, so you're looking at, sort of like upper middle class for bathhouses. Surprisingly enough, going through, looking through all the research and everything, people are not cleaner than I give them credit for. Really? there was a time. I mean, if you're bathing once a week, because was it,

we're not at the once a week point. You know that. No, this was, they said that they weren't, it wasn't necessarily like a bath that you would think of. It was just like being wet. Yes. I also kind of forgot about this is,

weirdly enough, the whole hygiene, bathing bathroom shit, it went through some weird ebbs and flows. Oh yeah. In history where some early civilizations were very on it. Others, even later,

hundreds, of years down the line, were even behind them in frequency and the methods they use to clean themselves, which is fucking insane. You would think that progress just always leads forward. Hygienic process or progress. You would flatten out, maybe. You would plateau a little bit. It's like technology. Technology doesn't go down. Uh-uh.

Yeah, we don't get that we've reached a precedent that just has to be continuously either met or over a chain. Not smelling like shit type technology back in here. it did not just, it did not just rise steadily throughout the centuries. And it came back to bite them in the ass. We'll get to that. I just, I find it so cool that these places, they were bathhouses for,

the purpose was to, I think, rinse off and try to maybe smell a little bit better. But there were such whole, or hubs of culture. There were, they would go down there. And even the ones today, that's what a lot of it is.

It's camaraderie. It's being around other people. It's women, you know, talking. Going for Schmitz. Yeah. I'm going to go. first, I'm going down to the club for she fits with the fellas. You're going to have a drink. You're going to sit around. You're going to talk and you're just going to hang out.

Like it was the act of bathing was almost secondary to the social. It was a sports. They call them social clubs now. It's like you'll have gentlemen in these clubs and everything that, you know, yeah, we're going to go play racquetball and bullshit and complain about our wives. But then we're also going to sit and then have a steam. And that that was even things that they did here. It wasn't just, you know, bathhouses, weirdly enough, like bathhouses weren't just a giant. pool, they also would have like food, steam rooms that they could use, which was basically probably just a giant fire in a kiln and they just poured water on the top of it to create the steam.

There were lower class citizens that were running it and probably had to be in there for like eight, 10 hours a day. Oh yeah. Just dying. Can you imagine if someone asked you that? Have you bathed recently? Well, I took a steam. And so that, I mean, that completely purifies everything, right?

Anything that could be in my body that was bad is just now gone. Oh, yeah. So kind of jump in kind of forward a little bit Bathhouses started to spring up in Rome Which I think maybe if we're thinking bathhouses Roman bathhouses kind of come to mind right That's one of the more Greeks and Romans

Yeah So they start springing up in Rome During the second century BC Which is you know how our centuries work If I say 20th century It was actually the 1900s So is that mean so second century Does that is it go the same way when you're BC

So second century is that getting... It would have to be like $2.99 down to $200, right? Or is it one up to $199, like $1,000, and then down to $1,000? Either way. Great question for a smarter person. I don't know. It just seems like this time in the second century in Rome, they just blew up. The prevalence of them, they were building, it was oftentimes one of the first things that they would build in a new city. So they had just, these crazy elaborate aqueduct systems that would guide water throughout the cities. And like you were about to get to, the number was about 170 right around that second century BC. And by the time they hit the fifth century, I'm 80. That's what I'm kind of, I'm going to look at this here. 850 bathhouses sprung up in the Roman Empire.

That's a ton of just extra bathhouses. And I don't know what the population was for the empire, but 850 bathhouses seems like it could serve as a whole lot of people. Yeah, in Rome. The aqueduct, the aqueduct, aqueduct system in Rome, aside from democracy, is probably one of the greatest contributions. Showing you to transport water someplace that water's not naturally there that allows you to create a civilization where maybe one wasn't intended to be. If they didn't steal it from the Babylonians. Yeah. Because that's still on the board is maybe something that could have happened.

But just the system's a diversion that would flow through these cities. And we're not talking like villages or anything like that. Some of these were underground. Some of these were under the road. Some of them were visible. But they were just mainly built to feed some of the houses and some of the richer people. But they were also diverted off for these gigantic bath houses. So that immediately...

Well, they had fountains for public water gathering. So, I mean, the water went throughout the entire city. But it's one of those things. where it makes the process of bathing so much easier because the procurement is so much more efficient. To the point where 850 bathhouses seems like a shitload. That's a lot. And what was the, so that's in the second century.

So second, I'm going to look for the second century population of Rome. And for the initial, because the fifth century was when they had the 850. Okay, so I think that was flipped around. So I think what you're saying is essentially from the fifth century to, the second century because fifth century BC is basically 599 down to 500. I think it was 5th century 80 though.

Oh, okay. No, because that would be just 500. 80. Yeah, that makes sense. So during the first and second century CE population of Rome is about 1 million.

Damn. Yeah. Okay, so maybe it's not as everybody probably isn't getting in on it. there's still a level of society that's not in these bad houses. Well, if you think about it this way, you got a million, okay, we have a million residents where we live. Just say for argument's sake.

And even if you cut that down and say, okay, there's four people per residence. Every residence has a bathroom and a bathtub, I think. I feel like I'm safe. Maybe some don't. It's very few. That means alone in itself, there's 250,000 baths in that area. hypothetically they only had one. Hypothically, if they only had one.

So to say that 850 bath houses to service a million people, yeah, there's still some people that fucking stink. And at this time, too, especially because it's Rome being, you know, a cultural hub of the world at this time, you're probably getting a lot of trade. You're during this time of advancement during this, the Romans probably used, I'm guessing, a lot of herbs and oils

and stuff like that. Essential oils, they were used. using flower petals to make things smell better. Well, you've seen that if you've ever watched any series about Rome where, you know, in the houses of the more prominent politicians and stuff like that, they would have these courtyards that were open to the sky that had basically stone or tiled, a sunken area, even if it was a couple feet deep, that would try to gather rain, you know, to go ahead and fill them.

But if they couldn't, they would try to divert water into them. But then that's what they would use. They would put flower petals and oils and stuff. and you would get to take your, if you were lucky, your bi-weekly first, you know, monthly bath. And you're hoping that those flower petals and stuff wash off all of the fucking heats, sweat, and all that shit. And guess what, you're not probably,

you're not really well-groomed either. No. Full bush. There's a lot of hair to get true. I, I, it amazes me just kind of running along with that. the thought of what the rudimentary soap was because what I found was in Babylonia around 2,800 BC, they actually found clay pots who I think it must have been Babylonian,

Sanskrit, whatever it was that was on them. The labels on the outside of them said fats boiled with ashes. They did make that, they did use that for soap, didn't they? Yeah, and that's, I don't quite understand how soap works that we could, we never released that one-on-one, did we? About what? Stuff we don't understand. I don't know if we did.

Maybe not. Look for that coming up, I guess. But I don't, if I'm being honest with you, I don't know how soap works. I don't know what soap is made of. I know that it's made of fats. I know parabens aren't good. I always see stuff that says... Wax.

Yeah, no parabins, no wax. And you're like, okay. What is it exactly that cleans you out of the soap? Like, what ingredient goes into? The scrub? I would assume most of it comes down. Here's the thing. We're hitting kind of also, if you think about it nowadays, for at least the last, what, 20 years,

there's been a big push to move away from non-chemicals and the most natural things we can have. I use deodorant that doesn't have the aluminum in it. And so it works. The stuff I use works anyway, but you notice that it doesn't work as well. And the scent is definitely not as prominent. And that's simply because when you boil it down, artificial and chemical, aluminum somehow. Yeah, like the fact that you're like, so there's metal in this shit?

And they're like, yeah, but it's really small and it just plugs up your pores. It's cool. You're like, you say you're jamming metal in my pores? Microscopic metal? No shit. That was your solution? No wonder people get Alzheimer's from this shit. No, but so like the natural stuff, you're dealing with natural sense.

Nature, like you go up and smell a rose. Roses do have a pretty distinct smell, and it can be stronger. But then if you were to synthesize that, like in perfume and shit, shit like that, it would be so much more powerful because it's concentrated and it's enhanced. It's an essential oil. It's altered, yeah. So, I mean, even think of like fats boiled with ashes. The ashes had to have been there to hold it together, right? I would assume more of like a pumicey kind of scrubbing, but I think there is something in ashes that is like a natural, like, because you can use

like charcoal or charcoal toothpaste. Yes. I think there is. Activated charcoal. something in ashes that would probably be like a killing agent for some terms. A neutralizing agent maybe. Yeah. But all the way back then, that was what they were doing. And it took us until, um, fuck, what was it? The seventh century CE before soap making was like looked at as an art form. Like they, they had gotten it down to a science.

And that's, I'm sure where all the like fancy super great soaps still come from because they have that artisan back. ground in those countries. But just the way that that whole thing worked, like it took us that long to create more of like a usable good soap. Well, and here's the thing, too, is a lot of the soaps that were first created, because I read about some soaps that were created, like, and they would use lie and some other shit, those were invented specifically for, like, clothes and, like, cleaning stuff that wasn't your body, because a lot of that shit is, like, harsh.

It's cost of, they're cost of chemicals. Yeah. And so even talking about these soaps that were made fats boiled with ashes, the ancient Egyptians basically described, you know, combining animal and vegetable oils with what was the alkaline salts to form like soap-like materials and then they used them to treat skin disease as well as washing. They found them in like medical papers documenting how they would make these things in order to cure diseases. Isn't that fucking crazy? Let me go ahead and reference my ancient Egyptian medical index. And have it not be super far off all that time ago to today. Well, this is, this is exactly what it sounds like people are now trying to replace chemicals with.

They're trying to use oils out of stuff. A lot of things will have types of like salts, like sea salt and that kind of stuff. A scrub, a, uh, exfoliator. Yeah. And so, you know, using those materials. And here's the thing too, you know, the word saying like they would treat skin diseases as well as washing. It's not a treatment of a fucking skin. It's washing your fucking skin.

Yep. Yeah. There's no medical properties in it besides just maybe sanitizing the wound. Yeah, cleaning the fucking germs off of it. The whole, these were two very different areas. You're talking about Egypt and then you're talking about Babylonia up around Iraq. I guess they're still in sort of the general vicinity. Climates may be kind of similar and everything.

I guess if there's a prominence of like desert and sand in those areas, maybe the minerals that they would be finding would be similar. just using the same type of natural materials, you're going to kind of get similarities. Well, to come to such a normal, like to such a close consensus back then on what this could have been.

I don't know if that was for trade routes or what. Yeah. But two different parts of the world are coming up with similar ingredients to mix together to try to achieve the same goal. A lot of trial and error. Probably, yeah. A lot of fucking people getting fucking horrible skin lesions

and shit when they're testing out different ways. how does this one feel? It burns. Okay, well, the burning might stop, so let's leave it on for a little bit longer. Okay, now it's really starting to burn. Yeah, well, it's probably just killing all the diseases on your skin, so let it work its way. My skin is starting to fall off. Well, yeah, that skin was probably infected. It's probably trying to get rid of the infection.

We're getting through. We're finally getting through to clean skin. Well, the fall of Rome, it did lead to a decline in bathing habits during the Middle Ages. That was a huge contributor to the spread of illness. When we're talking fucking plagues, and all of that shit, it all comes down to transmission and germs and everything.

And the areas that you keep around your residence is to try to stop the festering of animals, rodents, different very unclean things rooting through your trash and shit. Well, and here's the thing. Before we get out of, because I feel like we're moving past Rome and everything, I kind of want to backtrack to talk about that area

because it wasn't just about your bathing habits. Let's talk about bathroom habits as far as like, Like, where did you take your shits? Where did you take your paces? All that stuff. Because if we're talking about smell, yeah, you can naturally smell as far as B.O. goes. And I'm sure you can work yourself up into a hell of a funk if you go long enough without bathing

and you're moving around and wearing heavy materials and everything. But, man, where did you have to drop your twos? Probably the bathhouse. Not in the bathtub, per se, but. They had separate from the bathhouses. I'm trying to remember what they called them. but they were basically like communal bathrooms. I'm going to try to describe this to you.

So it was a, did you see any of the images of any of this stuff? Not the bathrooms. Okay. So think of like a bench that's like almost like a sectional L shape that went around two sides of like a fairly about the size of this room. So around the wall behind you and then let's say where your shoe wall is, a row of that high. It's a bench made of marble or granite, they said. It would have to be because everything back there. It can't make cement.

So what would be cut into these is the seats would be probably spaced, the holes, sorry, would be spaced apart on these benches maybe about like a foot. It may be looked at a foot, foot, a half. Nope, no dividers, no partitions, anything like that. And probably around this, the example that it showed, I'm guessing was a minimum of 10 to 12 of these holes around the Zell shape. So the holes almost look like a key hole where it was a circle and then a smaller. And then that would be on the part where I'm trying to describe this. to where listeners could understand it, where the seat is, where your legs would hang off,

part of the hole that was this keyhole shape was actually on the front of it. It was like a ding-dong holder. Kind of. Yes, it's not, I thought it was, but it's not that. I'll get to it. On the top was a similar one

where the circle was in the back and then it had the narrow one where you would just sit and you'd hold your dick down. So you would just be shitting in a room with like 10 other guys at a certain point. They said that what helped with the privacy aspect of it, though, is because everyone was wearing like toogas and shit.

It was easy just to lift up the back of your toga. And then, And it would hang over the front of you. You're still touching your shoulders with the guy next to you. Here is the part that's even better than that. It came to the wiping. So in front of your feet, there would be like a, almost like a trough that went in the same L shape. And it would have water in it.

In that water sitting in the trough would be a C sponge on a stick. Better than a hand. But the sponge is probably didn't get changed too often. Hold on. Yeah. We're getting to it. So the hole in the front that you would think would be the dick hole, that was so you could shove the sponge up under you with the stick

and scrub your fucking... The wiping hole. Yes. And then all you would do is take the sponge back out and you would set it in that fucking trough. Waiting for the next guy after you were done. Another example of wanting to get in first that day. Yeah. You always want to be in on these places first.

Sloppy seconds on the butthole C-sponge brush. not something you want to take. So, like, rich people would have these inside their own homes, but they would usually try to have them in a section that was above what was called a cesspit. That's, I think, where we get the term. Cispool, yeah. Cesspool, cesspit.

And then that would be, they would try to either make some system where they could then pull it out and empty it, drain it. But then you also get into, do you remember chamber pots? Oh, yeah. So chamber pots were basically, there was a couple different, I think, there's going to be variations all over the world.

But basically it's a bowl or some type of container that you're going to take your piss or shit in. And these would be more prominent. So chamber pots to like PN and stuff like that would be, hold on, I got a cough. And it seems like chamber pots came into more fashion. I'm sure they had them probably like porcelain closer to a toilet type material back in Italy. But it seems like in the Middle Ages, you would always see. them be more prevalent for just everybody to have. Yeah, you would kind of see that.

Most of them I think what you would do is they would be in your room. Think of like Wild West Spittoons. You just have a pot in the corner. But you would get up and if you have to take a piss in the mill night, you just piss into the pot and jump back in bed. And then your servants would come empty yet. Way more efficient. You would also have privies.

You didn't watch Game of Thrones. So I always make references of this. So Tyrion, Peter Dinklage, when he kills his father? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know Peter. Okay. Peter and I are. when he kills his dad, Tyrion, he actually catches his dad on the privy, shitting into a chamber pot.

And basically, the privy is just a bench in a small room or what a water closet or whatever the fuck they called it. Did he hide under the bench? Just sit on the bench, piece of wood. You shit through the hole. It drops in. Is that how he killed him? No. He didn't crawl into the...

He's small enough. He could have. It was a crossbow. So he opens the door and he's there taking a shit and then he shoots him on the shitter with a crossbow and kills him. That's fantastic. But can you imagine being... A chamber pot is basically just a bedpan. So someone, your servants would then have to come out every day and clean the shit.

And here's kind of getting back to the whole smell thing, not just about people, individual smelling. Sewage systems during this time were pretty much non-existent. They did have some variations in Rome. They were so bad. But, you know, whenever you watch like a movie about, like, old London, and see the people opening the doors and throwing the buckets out into the streets. That was shit and piss.

Where else are you going to put it? And not to mention, when sewer systems kicked off, they just led down into the waterways that were around your city. That's been the biggest cause of disease is there was a, oh, where the fuck was it? Great stink, we'll get to it. It might, yes, it was in London.

What I'm saying was going to be in London. So kind of not going to, far forward. But like in Rome, yeah, you would have like with your chamber pots and with your whatever, you would have your servants probably take those away from your house and go dump them down the street or whatever. In the poor neighborhood. Yeah, but if you're in the slums and everything like that, you're literally just like, wasn't there a thing about, do you ever remember hearing about like no one walks on the sidewalk? There was some thing about people not walking on the sidewalks in like old London or it might have even been like in Rome, because, you know,

Because at any point, people could just throw their shit out a window or their door or something. And on the sidewalk, you could have it dumped on you or anything. So I think for some reason, a lot of people walked in the streets or like middle of the street was a big thing. Well, and that's part of two sides to why when you're walking with a woman out on the street, you always stand towards the street. And they stand more under awnings and closer to the building, partially because if some car comes up, you'll get clipped by them first. but also because you don't want them to get the shit on, you would rather be the one that's in the way. Like, instead of just walking in a straight line.

You want to be in the splash zone. They're so close to it that when you throw something out, you're not dumping it straight down. You're trying to fling your own shit as far across the street as you can. Get that as far away from your house as you can. So the gentleman is the one that would take the proverbial shit on the head instead of the woman. That was a sacrifice.

But can you imagine? You're just walking down the street and there's just turds and gutters just sitting there. and you got to hope that there's going to be rain soon to wash all this shit down. There were no street cleaners. Nobody came through. I'm guessing maybe in nicer neighborhoods there might have been someone's job, turd wrangler or something like that. Your job is just try to chase these things down into the poorest sections of town.

My thought process doesn't even always lend to the humans at this time. Because every mode of transportation was an animal. And what do you do with all that shit? You have horses just walking down these streets one after another. I don't know what rush hour in Rome looks like, but there's probably quite a few horses, just taking shits everywhere and not human-sized shits, horse-sized shits.

Do you ever see, like, at the rodeo, sometimes if you look like, if you go to, like, a fair, you can see where, like, the trend, there is someone with a big shovel walking around doing that. I'm assuming that was probably a job. But can you imagine that being your job as you just walk the streets to pick up horse shit, goat shit, who's ever transported,

their animals through the city. Other humans? People aren't looking back at their horse and being like, hey there, Peanut, can you make sure you don't take a deuce while we're traveling up to the Senate? Nobody carried bags for their horses shit. Yeah. That was somebody else's job.

There wasn't a feed bag on the front and a shit back on the back. So you have a mix of human shit, you have a mix of animal shit, you have a mix of if somebody did take a private bath. Most of the time, like I was talking about earlier,

these people clean themselves in a different way. Like it wasn't always being immersed in water. And this is where I love this term because I find it very funny. I'm sure it's derogatory. But a horse bath is a very funny thing to me. And that's what these people used to do was they would get just a singular pot of water. I'm sure they would probably start at their face because that would be the most logical point. They said that they tried to make the excuse.

They're like, well, sanitation or not sanitation, hygiene did exist. it was like every morning when someone woke up they would wash their face and hands in the base. I'm like, motherfucker, those aren't the parts that stink. But they would wash their junk too. You would get some situations of maybe taking a wet or damp towel, wiping down your pits.

What is it? Pits, tits, slits, and dicks. Something like that, cleaning those areas. But I mean, you're just washing it with like, and is the water clean? It's got to be cleaner than what you're washing off your body, though. Okay, but are they getting this water out of the river that people are shitting and pissing upstream?

because, I mean, then you're just washing yourself with other people's stuff. I mean, it's water down, of course, but... You want to take the water off the top. You don't want to dig in real deep with your... Don't swirl. Uh-uh. Just try to get your hands as shallow as possible, take that water off the top. Quick in, quick out.

There's no horseplay. Well, eventually, here's the thing, too. When, like, how we were talking, how there's ebbs and flows to hygiene, how it drops off and everything, you would think that, like, it would be the times in which there would be the least amount of hygiene or sorry, the earlier on that there would be like the most disease. Well, come around to like 1346 to 1353.

Is it CE? Yes, the CE. Okay. So what that you would, some people consider 80. 80 CE, same thing. That's when the bubonic plague actually killed. Was it 200 million? The black death.

The black death. So killed 200 million people in Western Eurasia and North Africa. So by Eurasia, we also mean that's kind of Europe and also covers over to like an area of Asia. The parts of Asia, which they talk about this could potentially be where the diseases came from was the rats that were brought over from the invading forces from Asian mountain ranges into these cities. And then these rats that carried it would be walking or would be scurrying around in

these port cities. They'd be jumping on boats trying to get away wherever they could. They'd be transported to other cities. And these cities were so dirty and so. disgusting that these rats would just fester there and they would live there, they would breed more, they would give off ticks. But why do rats get attracted to those places? It's because there's a ton of people. Dirty too. Food. There's stuff for them. Food sword, yeah. Yeah, there's trash and everything. So it's not, I mean, it is kind of surprising that it, that this hits farther along when people are

trying to clean themselves and shit, but you're also getting to a point where people are getting really condensed. And when you're dealing with condensed people, you don't have a great sewage system, if any at all, it's just going to be filth. And that's where fucking rats are going to thrive. So they did- We still see it today. I mean, New York is famous for having a rat problem. It's one of most popular cities in the world. The thing is, too, is like, the black plague was, it could have been transmitted and, you know, carried by rats and everything, but if it affected humans and that's what killed humans, and it was obviously some type of human disease that was caused by, like, germs and shit. Yeah. And it's not like they were doing anything to really fight against it. They

you know, creating more shit and getting dirtier. So 200 million fucking people in a span of, is that, seven, eight, seven years? Yeah, sevenish years. I can't even begin to think of, how it would even have stopped. I get maybe they figured out a way to help it stop, but when you have that many bodies piling up at that rate of speed,

where are you putting them all? That's just more food for the rent. You don't have a place to put your fucking deuses, let alone throughout. And I understand that the, yeah, the range of land was insane here. Of course, you know, you're Asia and North Africa, but still, like, you're just basically, that's when you get the Monty Python. Bring out your dead. That's exactly what it is.

It's bring out your dead. Getting them into wagons. And then going out outside of town and just burning people in big pits to try to stay this off. And one of the things they actually kind of chalk this up to is, you know, like we were saying, fall of Rome, decline in bathing habits in the Middle Ages, people being less clean, less concerned with washing themselves,

hygiene, everything like that, is what directly led to this. It may not have been the only factor, but it was a huge contributing factor. It's the reason we don't have, you know, not talking about COVID or anything like that, because that's a respiratory disease, diseases that are communicated by like germs

and shit like that and infections, we don't get those really prevalent here because we're fucking clean-ish some. Not as much as I'd like. But yeah, there has been advances. So in 18th, I know we're jumping kind of forward a little bit, but after you just killed 200 million people, it probably takes a little bit of time for the population to bounce back.

Well, and there's just so much. These spans of time are so major, but we've covered, the bubonic plague was certainly something that was a once, maybe hopefully once in a world. The black plague, the Black Death. I mean, in some degree, everyone should have heard about it in one way or the other. It was just a major event that you hope could never happen again. But in this whole entire time, like,

that's not that far away from where we are now. And we've had all these old ancient practices that have led up, an arguably cleaner time in the decline of just caring about human hygiene led to the worst plague that the world's ever seen. That's a crazy step back. And you would think after that there would just be a blueprint for how you did things to try to stop and to be cleaner and to be more sanitary. Didn't happen. Yeah. You know, well, at this point, too, I mean, you don't really have doctors per se. You got those weird guys wearing the big beaked air masks and everything sitting on the corner of whatever they were called in front of their apothecaries or anything like that, selling you different remedies and herbs and everything.

Your dentist is like your barber Different shit like that were professional I think barbers were like kind of like a dock in the boxes Barbers were apparently for the longest time Like really really lowly Like they would assign like former slaves would possibly be barbers and things like that That was kind of prevalent also during like the Civil War Is because when slave owners they would have their slaves in a lot of situations

Like shave them and groom them Like their house servants everything kind of like how in Django Samuel Jackson is shaving Leonardo DiCaprio and he's like he used to shave my daddy and everything and so once these people were free

they would have these skill sets and they would be barber so they were thought of in a much lower tier but at the same time like you were saying for like dentistry and everything there wasn't a set dentist there were just people that happened to perform dentistry it could be a fucking blacksmith because he has fucking pliers and everything to rip out a dentistry

tooth. He's pulled six teeth himself on his own mouth. Why don't we just let me? He's got the most experience in the village. But you would get all these like you're saying. It would almost be like well, you know, I fix horseshoes, but I can also remove that molar if you need me to. Jack of all trades, doctor of none. All right. So before we get

into the Great Stink, I do have to take a piss. You got to make a stink. Speaking all this stuff, I'm going to go pee in an actual toilet. All right, while we take a break from class and take care of some business, you can also take care of some business. If you don't follow us on Instagram or Twitter already. Our Instagram handle is historically high pod. That's historically high POD. And our Twitter is historically high. That's historically H.I. All right. And back to our show.

All right. Right before the big sting, sorry. I forgot about this. I just wanted to kind of list off to you a couple things that people used to wipe their asses with. Oh, this is a good list. So ancient Greece, we'll jump over to Greece for a second. It's kind of in the Rome area. so they used to use stones, which they called Pesoy, or fragments of ceramics, which were Ostraka. Now, I'm assuming that the picture that they show, show like Mimau's fucking clay potting plant broken into pieces. Now listen, if you're wiping your ass for sharp fucking pottery, you're probably not going to do that very long.

Once, you can do anything once. Well, I'm guessing they would use stones that were river rocks, smooth to try to just scrape the shit out of your ass. You want the most perfectly soft, round rock that you find? Not even round. Can you imagine finding a rock that was almost contoured that had a little bit of a point to it, but then had some curve

on each side of it? Maybe get something a little skinny to really just be able to credit card it? Do you think if someone found a rock like that, that rock would be like the family rock that stayed in? They're like, this is the perfect wiping rock. This has been handed down for generations in our family. Could be. And then I'm assuming. what they mean is the ceramics would have to be

blunted or curved, right? Something like that. There's no way that you could ever use a sharp edge like that. Ceramic items breaks or a ceramic item breaks in such a way where it doesn't have to be shards, isn't it? Yeah, it doesn't have to be pointy to be sharp. You can catch an edge or something

like that. If you bled out from wiping with a piece of ceramic, I'm calling it, it happened. Yeah, you deserve it. It happened often. They probably had like a name for it that everyone was just like, oh yeah, that happened to my gram. paw. Bloody rump or something like that.

Bloody rump caught him. Bloody rump. Lost my mima that way. And then, so the ceramic fragments, though, they found some there were inscribed, and they found them in these, like, toilet areas. They were inscribed with individuals' names. Yeah.

I wouldn't want to lose the one thing. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't want to pick somebody else's up. They're thinking the opposite. They're thinking that you would put your enemy's name on it, and you would use it to wipe your ass. Now, they don't know. that because they don't know if

fethius was the one taking the dump and that was Theseus as, you know, shit or not. But I do like the idea that it would be, you know, how you can order toilet paper online now that has, how many people have their football team's rival toilet paper and their game room? Oh, there's Chatsky's shit like that that you can

just buy. Yes, but you can use actually, you can buy toilet paper like that actually. Yeah. That has the picture on each square. So they would use that. they would also use what else was it so yes you would use leaves if you can get a hold of them if you were in a coastal town you would use seashells like we talked about okay thank you

getting back to the demolition man thing so with the seashells how would you I'm asking you personally what method would you use if you had to wipe your ass with a seashell and let's just say it's Okay, let's say it's the traditional aerial Little Mermaid Covenant or Titsy shells

The ones that are shaped to have a little flare at the bottom And then come out and everything I'm using the skinniest part and I'm using the round side I'm not getting the skinniest part round side I mean skinniest part round side? I get what you're saying You're holding it with the most round part out I'm using the convex side against my hole I'm not flipping it around to the concave side

And getting that up against the spokes because that's gonna be so much more of a scrape So you're not using it in the form of a scooping You're trying to flip it over and you're almost kind of like a smooth spackling trying to carry it. So are you trying to use because I understand your point on this? I was going to, is it the rough edges that you would hope would be grabbing onto the shit? Ew. See, because on the concave side on the spoon, the scooping side, it's smooth. So of course the shit wouldn't like stick to it.

But if you're using that, the side you're using is what has the texture and the ribs and the ridges. It does. And there's just less of a chance that I'm going to impale myself with a seashell. if you get near those front edges depending on what kind of a shell it is that and that's why people fucking oyster shuckers wear goddamn well they wore gloves because of the night

but aren't those sharp too? Yeah they're sharp they're like little rocks almost there's things that's attention to them maybe they weren't using oysters can you imagine they're like hey just yeah you guys got your bucket of seashells

we haven't been able to really find sea shells we have oyster shells he's like the fuck you have a cold shell we're going to go smash that conch shell with a sharp rock and hope that we get less sharp things to wipe our ass. Yeah, we actually stumbled upon a group of hermit crabs. It was a bloodbath, but we have enough to wipe our ass for the winter. Steve forgot to pull the crab out first, pinch the shit out of the nuts out.

Some of my favorite wiping things, we're not going to get to until we get later, even closer to now. So, okay, get into the great stink. Adam, tell me about the great stink. The great stink may have been. like the first ever time that people thought, hey, maybe climate change is real. And it happened in 1858 in London. And it was named the Great Stink

because the River Thames runs through Central London. Is it River Thames? Thames? Tames, whatever. I thought it was Thames for a while. We want a war for me to be able to call it what I want to call. Okay. Thames. Thames. Yeah. All right, Shakespeare. The River, too. The River T.

That was the main area were all of the broken down dilapidated sewer systems dumped into. And during the summertime, I think it was right around July and August. It got so hot that the level of water and the river started to drop. And as it dropped, it got closer to the line of sewage and shit that was being covered up by that water. There's a reason why there's water and toilets. It's because it makes everything stink less. So as you lose that water on top of it and that stink and that shit and everything starts to get closer to...

So the flowing water would be flowing almost on top of it. And because the other stuff was heavier, it would almost sink down a little bit, but then have its own layer. So it was the fresh water lowered and everything. When I think of like what you're talking about about the stuff dumping into the Thames, Thames, Thames, I just have it in my, like, if you're in a boat and you're driving through the middle of it and you look on both sides, you just see the pipes sticking out and you just see that slow pour of like just brown liquid going in. And if you've ever seen any, like, look at London in the 17th, 15th century, it's filthy as fuck. It's all smoggy and everything. And just the river is just basically where the ships like steamboats are going up and down carrying cargo, coal, barges and all that kind of stuff. Of course they're just going to be like, well, look at all this shit already in it.

Let's just dump our poos. In my mind, when I think about it, I think about Springfield Power Plant in The Simpsons, how it just blows off into Springfield Lake or reservoir out of the side of it, except for instead of nuclear waste, that shit, I don't know which one I'd really take my chances with. Well, and having probably zero understanding from a city planning aspect, city planners aren't going to know like therm or what do you call hydrodynamics. So they probably just understand they're like,

I've seen my poop float. If we dump it in the river, it'll just carry it out to wherever the Thames goes to the ocean or whatever. And we'll just keep having fresh water. Well, London isn't at the mouth of the fucking Thames. there's a lot of river between fucking London and isn't there room between London and the ocean or is London on the...

I'm starting to question my knowledge of... It could be. British geography. I just think that it's... It was such a matter of how many people were in London at that time. It's got to be right on the water, I think. But...

Hmm? No. There's some... there is some definite area. Yeah, they're closer to the exit point. That's at least 20 miles. Closer to the exit point into the ocean. The massive amount of people that were going to the bathroom, there was no way that that water was ever going to sweep it all away.

It was just going to sink to the bottom of get worse. So as that water level dropped, the smell in London got so bad that Parliament had to, like, they had to dismiss. They couldn't be in parliament. It's right next. Is it right on the river? Yeah. So they had to come up with a lot better safety measures in different ways to get rid of waste because it just literally stunk up the entire city. It just the amount of disgustingness that swept across it got named the Great Stink because it was that bad.

That's something that we still teach and learn about all around the world. That's right in the middle of your city. That river literally just sits in the middle of your city. It affects commerce, it affects people that live there. Anything about your city that would be desirable in 1858 is going to stink like shit. Can you imagine all you're praying for when you wake up in the morning is that the wind is blowing the opposite side of the river and trying to blow it over to the other side of the city? You get good days and bad days before the wind's coming your way and it's going away from you.

And then there's no wind and everyone suffers. 95 degrees. That's the thing too. So there was a bridge in London. And I want to say it was in London because it goes along with this whole thing about the Thames. I may be misremembering where it is, but I'm going to say it's in London because it sounds good anyway. The London Bridge. I know there is, but there were several bridges going across.

What I'm saying is some of these bridges would actually have like shops and stuff on them, set up on them. Just hanging out over the... They would have public restrooms because they didn't have to worry about plumbing. It would literally just be... Drop straight down? Yep. A seat and it dropped straight down or on a, you know, a gutter and a gutter went into the river. So, I mean, that's...

You're not even thinking about, like, you have distance between... Not only the distance between the ocean, regardless of you're just dumping this in the ocean. You know the tide comes in, right? Your shit's only going to get out so far before maybe the tide starts washing that all up on the beach. Mommy, mommy, what is this? I don't think the beach would be a popular destination. destination around there.

It seems like the sheer amount of water in the ocean could probably figure that out, but it's just a horrible way to treat your waterways or anything like that. None of that. I doubt that they were probably eating the fish that were coming

out of the tames, but there were still local waterways that it may have contaminated that any if you're fishing at the mouth of where the river meets the ocean, Where's the water? Where's the water that the city is using coming from, man? If they picked that spot, you know, when you look back on any of the ancient civilizations, me and you've talked about, they're developed around something that's necessary to survive. It's not like a city now where we can build a city that's not near a river or not near anything because you can divert that kind of stuff and provide that stuff to your city. Everything, when these cities were developed, were developed around, you know, stuff necessary to survive like a water source. So that's not to say, everyone still got their water from the Thames,

but at the same time, how much of that city was still reliant on getting water from the Thames? Because there were people also, you know, this isn't just a modern city that has all these amenities or anything. This is a place that still has slums, poor neighborhoods, old-ass fucking neighborhoods

from when the city was first established. There's still people to walk down and get water out of public fountains that might be pumped off of the Thames. Or try to fish, look for a food source, anything like that. Well, that's why you, like, if you really think about when you hear about

diseases, yeah, you hear about the Black Plague, but you also hear about diseases that ran rampant through like London and everything and infections. There was a point and this is kind of when we're in one of those ebbs, what we're talking about, where hygiene is just kind of thrown out the window, obviously by what we've just described. But the actual

thought process behind why people are getting sick, people started to think that they were getting sick because at one point people were too clean. And it was rubbing off your body's natural oils and protections because people would be like, well, animals don't get sick all that often. They don't bathe themselves out. Well, guess what animals do fucking bathe themselves pretty often? You just don't fucking see them doing it. Or they cover themselves in dirt to try to stop anything from getting onto the box. But at the same time,

it scared people away from hygiene and cleaning themselves because they thought they were washing off the body's natural defenses. So part of the belief that came even out of like the Black plague and everything was just that oh we're like getting rid of our natural stuff we didn't have this before hygiene this didn't happen before hygiene hygiene is the new thing it's the common denominator so everyone just

stopped scrubbing their nuts and their tits and everything like that and everything will be hunky dory build up your immune system on the outside of your body it's crazy how close these two things happen because I don't know I think Louis was probably

not believed as much back when he did it. Well, Louis, oh, that's right. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm looking at the line you had with William Addis, invented one or two fresh.

We'll drop that one down to the rest of the inventions. Oh, okay. Slipped into there. Okay. But 1860s, Louis Pestor, the guy that...

Pasturization, baby. Yeah, he was the man. He started to develop modern germ theory, and I forgot to look this up. This was a bad research. search. I don't know when we got microscopes, but

he would basically be able to prove through some, maybe microscopes? I don't fucking know. But he was able to prove that meat and other things would spoil because of bacteria that was able to grow onto the

meat. On to the meats. I have a theory on that. We don't know with it. Let's just have a conversation. not knowing when the microscope invented. Actually, look it up while I'm talking about this,

because you can prove me wrong right here. So pasteurization that was named after him that he developed the process for, either doesn't pasteurization involve heat? You heat it up to, I believe it's 210 degrees. Maybe you have to hold it. Maybe that was how he proved the point, is he had a theory about heat or cold,

and maybe he was able to prove that if you took food, heated it up to a certain degree cooked it, the bacteria actually couldn't ruin it. Or on the other flip side of it, maybe he discovered that if you kept food cool, to a certain degree, bacteria were unable to thrive. But he knew essentially he had the germ theory, so he knew that these bacteria were there. Maybe he just was able to prove in one extreme or the other, either by heat or cool, that by submitting it to those, you either kill the bacteria with the heat, or you don't let the bacteria grow

when it gets cold. It makes them dormant. Look it up to see if I'm completely wrong. He might have had a microscope and it's been like, look at these little motherfuckers, eating up all this. Yeah, I think they have because it says it's not clear who invented the first microscope,

but the Dutch spectacle maker Zacharias Janssen is credited with making one of the earliest column-prone microscopes, one of two used, or one that used two lenses around 1600. Okay, so he has access if it was made around 1600.

he at least has access to that. Yeah, by the 1860s, they have to have something. I don't know how wealthy he was. Maybe he was just a guy that got known for doing this, but he obviously had access to something that allowed him to see that, which at that point, it's a lot easier to prove when he's just like, come here, put your eye right here.

Go ahead and look there. What do you see? Shit moving. Yeah, there's a bunch of little things moving. Now pull your eyes away and look down. Do you see anything moving on that little piece of glass? No. Okay. Well, those are germs. That's what's making your dick hurt when you pee. and that the idea of germ theory

replaced something called the I believe was a Mismah theory I don't know if I'm saying it right M-R-A-S-M-A Yeah So that theory was what was that theory It was a theory where

That word means like pollution Okay Greek language And they basically just called it bad air. And they thought that when you would get like a bad smell or something like that, that was coming from something that was sick and disease. Because when they say the air is fouled, something like that.

The foul air was actually what was making you sick. It wasn't the germs or anything that was being transmuted that way. It was the air that you were breathing that came from a certain area. It wasn't shaking Richard's hand that had just got done taking a shit and on the bridge and didn't wash and handed it to you after handling a rat or whatever. Richard was ampedexterous and you don't know which hand you like with. So they blame this Rasm, Rasmus, whatever. They blame this theory

and they use that to explain cholera, chlamydia. Climedia? Oh, baby, no. No, baby. I wasn't sleeping with her. I got this chlamydia from the air. I must have been walking down the street. You know what it was, honey? I was walking down the street

and this, this whore, she passed me. And as she passed me, I smelled something on the air. And I'm, baby, I'm Sorry, I tried to hold my breath. But that's how I got this chlamydia. Imagine all the other wives that are just as angry about all the other men that were walking down that street. They got chlamydia from it, too.

Just a very tragic set of events. I thought that was awesome. Baby, I didn't give you chlamydia. You just walked through some bad air. I'm sorry if you were in my bad air. Maybe I brought that bad air home. We're the victims. We're both victims here.

You shouldn't be mad at me. You should be mad at whoever produced that bad air. And that was a way that they used to try to justify black death too, which once modern germ theory really hit, I think that's when we kind of started to pick up steam. Obviously, there's situations in poorer areas and slums where hygiene takes a back seat. But right around that time, it seems like we started to get some of the fun inventions that we enjoy today. And I don't know how much you looked into a lot of the sanitary things that we use. and kind of when they were invented or when they started to kind of show up.

Before we do that, just because I feel like that's going to keep us on that side of it for a while, I want to go through like colonial America and everything, how it was kind of different and everything, because that's when we get into the corn. And I think we need to address the corn. This is such an eccentric episode. Okay.

So in like colonial America, they did bring over like a tradition of like Chamber pots that they would use porcelain bowls used in the house. We start to get what's kind of known in America, like the classic outhouse. Little tiny shack, a little crescent moon carved in the door. It's basically a bench and you just shit into a hole in the ground or you're shit into a tank and then you empty it out. Or you bury the rest of the top and then go dig yourself another hole and then just go

move the outhouse. That's why you don't put the outhouse. It doesn't stay on the ground. It's a mobile device. Yeah, if you can have someone lift it and you just move it over to the next hole. There was an entire business built around that. Like, mobile shitters. One day you're just looking down in there like, God, I got to get the shovel.

Yeah. Call out your son. Well, it's the same thing that they have to do when they set up a base in the military is Latrian duty. Digging pits. And how do you get out of that? Because you can only dig the hole so wide because you have to fit that outhouse over the top of it. So you dig deep. you're digging for depth

digging the shit grave so here's something else that I didn't know when they started coming out with the farmer's almanac they would start using it people would use it because it was so big people would actually use it as toilet paper and what they would do

is they would take the corner of it they would drill a hole through the corner of it so then they could put a piece of twine or loop it around and just hang it so people they'd like people would read it and then they would wipe their ass with pages Farmers Almanac eventually started just making the holes

in their Farmers Almanac for the people. It's a great business move. You're, you know, people are already using it to do that. Why wouldn't you make it more convenient? They might buy two. Read one, wipe with one. There you go.

Read a couple issues. We just had a new baby. We're going to need to subscribe to two issues. Can I get 10 copies of last year's Farmers Almanac while it's over? I need toilet paper. It's a great marketing move. Poor Richard, or I think it's Poor Richard's Almanac.

Poor Richard was a very smart man. I don't think he was poor for that long. But you, it's kind of weird how they're like, okay, well, they're starting to wipe their ass with paper. How do we make just paper that you can wipe your ass with? And then that's where you kind of get into that. Have you ever, this is going to sound like a weird pivot, but countries that don't use toilet paper,

all that after or anything. Awesome. also like countries that toilets are completely different or actually taking a shit is completely different. Like, I don't know if it's in Turkey or certain places, but you don't sit on anything. You actually just kind of put your feet and you almost squat over and the hole is in the ground. France, Italy, I've used them before. It's the wildest situation. What do you, what do you like holding yourself up with?

Some of the touristy ones that we were in, they would have grab bars. we were in a club in, I think it was Rome. And in the club, you walked in, and you know how we have like troughs for urinals? Sporting, yeah, go to any sporting event. It was just a flat wall, and then an egress into the ground, maybe like nine inches.

Okay, so basically a urinal trough, but you know the urnals at Costco that go all the way to the floor? A trough in that manner. Yeah, okay. But there wasn't like a barrier or anything between it. It was just a trough that was sunk into the floor. Yeah. And then you'd go into the stalls, and they would literally be pads that you would be able, like, if you needed to actually get a sit-in, drop trial, sit with the pads underneath your thighs and shit over the hole.

Like a catcher? Like the wedges that go behind it. You could run the catcher game. That was a move. And I think that was actually. No, no, no. By catcher, I mean, like, you know, how they've designed those pads. They go in the back of their calves and everything.

They're a thigh saver. Okay. And they had, I believe it was a butt. and overhead that you would push, but you'd literally have to, like, get down almost crisscross applesauce to take a shit, and that's when I adapted the actual catcher's stance to do it. I'm sure I know I'm not the first person. So is the hole in the floor? Mm-hmm.

How do you always piss when you shit? How do you, and the whole point of the toilet is the toilet is in front at an angle to where it catches the piss against the basin. Did you have to always hold your dick down? Yeah. So if you're drunk and you forget to hold your dick, you're pissing straight out away from you almost. Huh. And they actually, they had paper, I think, in that club that we were in because it would have been impossible to have a bidet in the stall.

But we also had a bidet. That was my first run in with a bidet was in that it was in a hotel in Florence. And I had the exact thought, I think it's home alone when he's staying in the hotel. And he thinks it's a water fountain. Yeah. Maybe my movies mixed up, but I feel like that was it. And I just saw it and that was my first thought was like, holy shit, they have a water fountain. Yeah, there's another movie.

I can't remember which one it is. He's got the beda and he's drinking out of it because it's shooting up. So he's going, it's like, this is a weird drinking fountain in the bathroom. They're completely different from anything that I'd ever used because it was like a, it was an arcing stream. And you would actually have to get up off the toilet and move over to a second bowl to take care of it. It was a very weird experience. And up until the point where I think I'd use maybe one or two in between, but until we got ours, the flow of the jet. And then the warmth of the water is something that I don't know if I could ever go without.

Like I'm not going to skimp and buy the cold water only bidet and just get shot. No, yeah, that's ridiculous. That to me seems like caveman days. Okay, so just kind of, I was just kind of curious how I looked at what a Japanese bathroom looks like. They're awesome, dude. Japanese toilets are the best toilets. Are they the ones on the right? Uh, the smart toilets.

Yeah. Yeah, they have the big base one. Oh. That one. Um, or do they do both? Well, Japanese are a little bit different. They have smart toilets. Okay.

And I'm sure they still have the trough-like ones that were on the left. Yeah, that one basically looks like if the best way I can describe it is if you took a men's journal and you laid it flat on the ground. But then you put the part that holds the water and everything facing like closest to the wall. Long parts on the ground. Yeah, long parts. And so you would basically, I don't, man, I don't know if you can, I would imagine you face the wall on this one. because then the arc of your piss would take it into the elevated section. And then, yeah, you're just...

You get on a cowgirl? That's what it looks like. Huh. That to me does not seem awkward. Because if they had something to hold on to in front, you're literally just like... Yeah, I mean, I think that... Do you think that that's why Americans are all obese? Why we have such high obesity is because all these other countries, like, a lot of them...

They got to work for it. You have to... Yeah, you have to be in shape to... be able to take a shit in public. And we've just turned it into a situation where you're like, have a fucking seat. We're going to put grab bars on either side so you can lift yourself on and off. Okay.

I would say that's more diet. Probably. I think that's more diet, diet breeds fat, not. But you happen to use the bathroom there more at that point. Explain to me these smart toilets. So the smart toilets are, you've seen why him? No. The one with Franco and Brian.

I haven't seen it. No. I'm aware of it. but I have not seen it. So it's sort of like that, but over there they'll have like a keypad right next to it. Like on a fancy bidet. Uh-huh.

Except for you can have like a warming setting on the seat, which some bids have ours do because it's kind of a necessity. My dad has one like that, yeah. But you can also choose the direction of the spray, and it will also like play music, and it will light up different colors in the bowl just by itself. When you... all I see is like after you drop a deuce and it the deuce hits the water I just hear it when

like like the anime girl laugh it's voice activated some of them are yeah dude it's like it's like taking a crap in a lazy boy almost they're just built straight for comfort not gonna lie to you when we were over my dads I remember um the boy had to go to the bathroom so I take him in raise the seat and this bidet almost has kind of like a slant to the it's almost like um comes down kind of at a slope the towards it yeah more ergonomic than and so i set him on it and the first thing he says is he's putting his hands on the seat to bounce himself he's like ooh it's warm now normally in that situation you sit down on toilet seat your reaction isn't no it's it's it's not an ooh it's warm it's oh it's warm this is somebody else's yes someone else was in here doing their business um but then i

went later and I was like God, because I've been telling myself, I'm like, just get one, put it up in your bathroom and everything. And I do need to end up getting one, but theirs has the remote where you can pre-program. And we're jumping ahead to now advancement. We'll talk about the inventions here a second,

but you have it set to where it has multiple settings depending on who's going to the bathroom because everyone's assholes at a different position. Some's a little shallower, deeper. So they have it set to the settings, the water's heated, the seats heated. Very surprising is when your asshole isn't set for it and you try to use it and you're not familiar with the buttons.

First of all, you aren't quite sure when the water's going to come, so it does catch you off guard. Also, when it's not hitting you where it should, and you have to sit there with additional water and try to then aim and figure out how to get your asshole. But once you get that on your ass, oh, it's fantastic. It's so it, you know what it does? It takes you through a lot of thoughts at one time. It's, does this feel good? This feels good.

What does that mean that it feels good? So ours I've run into this scenario How do I keep it going? Ours we have a pressure setting And there's five varying degrees Now is it by pressure Is there also like one where it goes

Like a pulse There is a pulse features on it But the pressure one is the one that's the most concerned to me And I'm comfortable with my sexuality I just don't need to explore all the regions of my sexuality. And I am so scared to go up.

That's like the final frontier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the final frontier of the back end. I still haven't gone up to full pressure because I don't know. How, what are you talking? What's the level? Give me a range of numbers.

It's just one through five. And I would say I've gone up to the second highest. And I would. So four. I'd like it. So you've walked to the ledge and you've peaked over. Yeah, I would liken it to like maybe a 20 pump on a Super Soaker spray. Okay.

And I just, I don't. Ooh, a 20? Yeah, it's pretty strong. Are we talking like OG Super Soaker? Are we talking like the ones that would have multiple tanks that if you got 20 pumps in it, it would cut through? She metal. It's not one of the ones with the bagpack. Okay.

A little, a single barrel. Okay. And it's not the worst thing in the world. Oh, I know. I don't want to go to number five because I don't want to start feeling entry points and have it be something that's somewhat enjoyable because I don't want to have to continue to replicate that. It's not about but whole pleasures. No, I don't want to find that out about myself.

So I keep it for max when things really need to be taken care of, but I sit around a two, maybe a three, if I'm feeling a little bit of. I see you sitting there and just in certain minds that sometimes want to roll the devil's dice and being like, is this today? I'd go five. I would be drunk one of these nights after we record. It's going to be accidental. Five.

It's going to be accidental that you actually do it. So kind of getting back to, I mean, and that's, that's, we just started at the pinnacle. Yeah. We've, we've reached the mountain top. Now we're going to walk you back down a little bit, but. We miss the best part of American toilet paper, corn cubs. Okay. Yeah, they would actually use not like full on ears of corn, but like corn.

I would assume after dinner time, when they served everybody the corn, they're like, hey, don't throw the corn out to the... You saving it for the... And there was never a question. Well, at least in that situation, there's never a question about what you're being used for. You're actually as like parting guests for your

guests instead of like bagging up like the to-go. I'm like, here's the go box. You would just wrap up a couple corn cobs, whatever corn cobs, they'd be like, here, take these with you. This is for the road. Yep. Well, it's not for the road. Yeah, you can use them at your home too.

As you're describing that, and you're making it clear that it's not like corn cobs that still have the corn on the cob. All I'm thinking is in my head, you know, when you put the corn holders in, and then you just roll it across the top of the butter, and you go back and forth. All I'm thinking is a corn going up and ass crack. And I'm like, how much, how clean would that? What would it grab?

And then how do you hold? Like, are you holding, like, are you just starting it from the front and then you have grip it from the back? Or is you doing like a flossing? Yeah, like a towel flossing motion? How big are these ears of corn? Yeah, that's the thing. Corn wasn't the same size back then.

Okay, so... If it's a two-cob shit, that's a pretty bad shit. Okay. So if you are eating corn, man, it's all full circle. It's so much full circle because corn comes out in your shit almost completely intact. What is it, as you're eating the corn, are you trying to leave something on the cob because you know what you're going to have to use it for? Or are you trying to like smoothen that cob as much as much as, possible.

And then if you smooth that cob and you've got it right where you like it and you're looking around it, everyone else eating dinner and everyone's making these rough ass, sharp ass cobs, are you hiding that cob in your room? Because I'm not, I'm not dropping my hard-earned cob in the communal family cob bucket right next in the outhouse just so my little brother can come in and fucking snatch up this fucking doozy of a corn cob and clean himself with it. You see the dude at the end of the table just working as corn as fast as possible.

but I call, that guy's got a shit already. That guy's got someone coming. You're literally taking that straight out to the outhouse. You're not even chewing that, man. Oh, my God. All I see is some kid walking around the house, literally with the corn cob on a string around his neck. He's like, this ain't getting out of my sight.

This is soap on a rope. Thank God we don't have to even make those assumptions anymore. For science, I'd probably try it, but you couldn't try it at home, because there's nothing you could do with it afterwards. You'd have to, like, bring corn out camping or something like that, which would be a very funny trick to play on a bear or something because he thinks that it's a corn cob and it's just covered.

He'd still eat it. Oh, he'd still eat it for sure. And then he'd have your scent. But now I'm going to track down the rest of this motherfucker. Some of the shocking inventions that we've come up with for cleaning, not shocking as far as that we came up with them, but just the dates when we created them. The first one I started out with was toothbrush

Because there were Kind of ancient tools that were used in the same manner As soon as there was like Sorry some type of established dentistry You had to imagine they were like Man we're having to pull a lot of fucking teeth Is there a way we can try to keep this clean And like what are you really gonna you

You might use like what's a little bit of like animal For like a piece Of course to pick your teeth What I'm saying is how would you early on try to develop something that, because the bristles, the agitators on the brush are what do all the cleaning. It's not really,

they're not strong, they're moving along and they're just flicking stuff off your teeth. So I would think that knowing what everyone put in their ass to wipe it with, that there were probably a lot of situations where people were using clumps of animal fur or maybe even like you were saying charcoal. That had to have been a thing. To try to like take a piece of charcoal and rub it on your teeth. I could see that.

It took us till 1780 to invent the modern toothbrush, the bristled toothbrush, which didn't seem like it was super far away. But to know that we went from 1780 to 1850 before we invented actual toothpaste. All you were doing was just lip service. You were just hoping to scrape shit off your teeth with a toothbrush. You were just trying to polish them up a little bit. There was no fighting in your mouth. I always get weirded out because I don't know I know me I know my routines

I wonder sometimes how many people I come across in the morning who just hadn't brushed their teeth that day and usually you can tell but some people it just makes you wonder You never want to be in a position where you have to tell Nightmouth is a very gross Phenomena that happens to I'm sure everybody Dogs it kind of seems like the breathes always smell the same

but as far as humans, any morning mouth for a human, no matter what you ate or drink. My dog maintains a healthy consistency of its own shit in its mouth. So at least across the board, I know that it's not going to smell good. It licks his bottle. So you just, you know that that's how it works out. That's how he cleanses themselves. No, it's just because at night you're not producing,

you know, you're not constantly putting anything in your mouth to produce saliva or anything like that. Your mouth gets dried out and then all, that's when the fucking back. That's why they say don't eat fucking like sugar and shit before I don't drink soda if you're going to drink it. Don't drink pop for you go to bed. Because the sugar just sits on your teeth and fuck eats. The best time to eat sugary stuff is at night.

Oh, yeah, it's 100%. That's so great. You just got to either try to remember, and like, how often do you ever remember to brush your teeth in night? My move, if I know that brushing my teeth is going to be a production, because I do truly believe in the two-minute thing. I'll mouthwash it that night. Oh, yeah, that least kills the drinks. I'm not going to agitate it off, but I'm going to try to kill at least some of that bacteria and all of that sugar and all that citric acid from the sour things. That's true.

with at least a swing of mouthwash. But when we created toothpaste, it worked to a certain degree. It was decent, 1850s, 1860s, that kind of thing. But we finally realized through trial and error and testing that in order to really help strengthen teeth, it needed fluoride in it. What was it like to fucking kiss someone before this? that's probably why they used to kiss cheeks.

That's probably why they still kissed cheeks. It was an old custom because you didn't want to get around that trench mouth. That's fucking blown in my mind right now. Kissing somebody who you know had no idea what a toothbrush was? Not even that because that person had no idea what it. No, I'm trying to figure out like, so that means, and I mean I'm sure they tried to like rinse their mouths with shit to try to make them fresher. Vinegar.

Yeah, but at the same time, there's, it's all morning breath. But not only that, it's the compilation of every morning that they've, unless, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Well, no, like, I've been so focused on this whole thing about, like, well, people's asses, of course, smell, because they can't wipe all the shit off of them.

People's bodies smell because they're not fucking bathed themselves. But at the same time, like, what's the one thing, you know, it's bad breath, it's B.O. Like, bad breath always, like, what the fuck did that smell? Like, you could tell what someone had for fucking lunch, like three days of you. ago. And when you get that dead tooth,

rotting tooth smell. And here's the other thing, too. A lot of this food, like, what do you think the food just in general smelled like? It's not as appealing appetizing as it is now. It's a boiled shit with like...

No. You're just getting the weird raw taste and flavor and smell just, fuck. You are, you also didn't have any additives or preservatives. I can't be a time. traveler. I'm not going to be

I'll travel forward in time gladly just to see how it all pans out but I can't. You travel back in time 10 years before William Addis and just go ahead and create a new toothbrush. Maybe I'll just go back so far in some place where there's not

a lot of people and if anyone approached me I'll be like, that's close enough you can hear me from there. You guys have heard of social distancing? It's going to change the whole way you think about everybody else. I'm going to help you guys out. Real, real well right now. It took them until 1890 to add fluoride to toothpaste.

So what do you think they were using fluoride before? Because it wasn't, I'm assuming it wasn't invented specifically for teeth. It had to have been invented for something else. And then it just found its way into toothpaste. Yeah, I don't know when it started being introduced into water systems. I would assume it might have been after this. Mm-hmm. but yeah that's interesting

I don't know where it would have come from before then you think of something like fluoride like we talked about fluoride in the Manhattan Project episode yeah and I think just last week or no it was a while ago I guess no yes yeah it was the Oppenheimer episode but that was a byproduct of

the atomic bombs was it would create fluoride creating the atomic bombs I think you've already listened to that episode so just yet another thing that came out of that research which hold on flipping around fluoride wasn't added until the 1890s so it was around beforehand

yeah but it was a byproduct of whatever the fission was that happened that we created nuclear bombs with so I think this may have been like its first introduction it had to have done something before whether it was mixed in animal feed something like that that would keep their teeth looking nice yeah it finally

finally was introduced and that took the 1890s so we're talking roughly 130 years ago okay that seemed right um then we move up to the newer shit um it took them what do we got 1857 oh yeah we'll leave the uh the top one there for the last because it's kind of the most recent but 1857 um guy in new york joseph guetti um um He patented toilet paper. So he was the first guy to put a patent on toilet paper, and I believe it was called medical paper for the water closet, was how it was,

that's what I heard. How it was referred to. Like you said before, colonial times, it would use the almanac. Paper had kind of been around to wipe your ass since, like, the early 15th century. Probably not paper meant to wipe your ass, but paper used to wipe your ass. You would have to assume it would probably feel like construction paper. It would be like wiping your ass. your ass with construction paper. Just not a, not a good, pleasant feeling. Can you imagine like

Christmases where like, you know, they wrapped them in newspapers and stuff like that and everything? And kids start tearing on the desk like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I want you to very carefully. You want something to wipe your ass with later? Quit, quit tearing up a toilet paper. I'm going to save that. Funny tearing it in little squares? No, it's not. You're going to really... Look at the size of my hands. It's not going to cover my hand. Yeah, man, 1857 to... Finally patent toilet paper.

That seems like it's way too close for comfort. Because New York, I'm sure, was a bustling town before 1857. So that's a lot of people that are trying to figure out ways to wipe your ass. That's just not a, not a, that seems like necessity. Again, we're not progressing as fast as we should. No. Especially for something that is, everybody does one to multiple times a day, for the most part. There's some people like, what's his name off of, uh, too bear any?

Yeah. It says he shits like once a week. Some people do that, man. I do not fucking under. How many times do you shit a day? Two. That's about what I am. Sometimes there's a third one in there.

Yeah, occasionally, depending on what meals look like. But yeah, dude, that's just a, that's a necessity. You have to come up with something to make that happen. What was the first thing that fucking sold out when fucking COVID hit? TP. That was part of a shortage, but it was just something. We were willing. People were willing to miss out on food as long as their dolic assholes for taking care of.

A lot of people, you found out a lot of people no longer subscribed to the farmer's almanac. Nope. No. There's a lot of people. Not a lot of almanac readers in here today? No. All right. The decline in phone books meant that the necessity for a roll of toilet paper went way up.

So the next one, I kind of found fun. just because you always hear so much about bathhouses and just baths in general back in the day. But the first advanced shower systems were developed all the way back by the Greeks around 300 BC and they would actually have them in gymnasium, I believe is a Greek word. And they would have them in the gyms

for them to be able to shower off after having an event or like a training or a wrestling match and just to think that we hit, they had an advanced enough water system to be able to pipe water in to create a shower. And I'm guessing, like, you know, by shower, even it, it's advanced for the time. I'm guessing it was more so like a small aqueduct that filtered water into a house. And then it just came out of kind of a... An Archimedes screw that let up.

No, I don't think at all, even remotely that. I think it was literally like... Oh, because Arctoamidi screw was way... Before. Yeah. No, after. Way after. It was Babylonia.

Okay. Remember, that was the thing that they thought to fed the hanging gardens and everything. Maybe not. What I'm thinking is the water that came into the house because the aqueducts were maybe higher, there was a way for the water to become not pressurized, but with the momentum of the water, to get up small inclines. I think what it probably was is the shower was either maybe like kind of dug down in the

ground. So the water didn't have to go up. You stepped down into the shower and then you just released and the water would come out of just a small spout and you would just be under like, you know, we have rain showers. Think of more of just like a pour of water that you would shower. but that still is, in essence, a shower. Yeah, it's a crazy advancement for that far back. Yeah, and what's even crazier is it was invented that far back,

yet it didn't fucking catch on like it should have. No, no, and I'm, maybe it's just generally being as tall as I am, but that's pointless to me. Unless I have an eight-foot-long bathtub, it'll never work. Yeah, that was always the thing, is the bath always seems like it took precedence. And now I understand that the whole appeal behind the showers, it's quick, gets easier, you're rinsing yourself off. A bath is a luxury.

No one, I don't think anyone really takes baths to get clean because the whole premise of it does not make sense. You're literally stewing in your own filth. I don't care how much many bath bombs you drop in there. It makes it smell good. You're floating around in all of your oils and everything. So a shower would have seemed to me like the logical first development. Oh, absolutely.

So, but with baths and everything, you ever see like, you know, when you see images of someone sitting in like the big metal bathtub and everything and like the rooms were. huge. It was because a lot of people would even have these metal baths in their fucking living rooms. Because the times that they got to fill these up, pour hot water, because

they would be heating hot water by the fire and everything. Dump it in there. So you would go into people's houses, especially like in England, and they would have these fucking big like bathtubs sitting in their fucking living rooms. But that's probably something that's kind of like a

baller move. Like just having the tub itself means that you take baths and that's to be a flex in itself like, holy shit, what is that? It'd be like, it's a fucking bathtub, dog. You mean you don't got to go down and take baths? No, fuck, no, man. I'm done with that shit. I only see my own nuts whenever I need to shower now.

How often you use it, dog, I'm in this thing every month. Every month. It's like a hot tub back in the day. Come over where you see. Well, they used to use too. Do you remember it was that in that Jim Jeffries one? They were talking about what they saw. It was like the water blanket or something,

and they would put that on the bottom of these tubs because there were metal, and that's where you would heat it from. So they would put, like, hot coals under them or something to heat it, and it was so you didn't burn yourself on the fucking bottom of the tub. Yeah, that, and then the superheated water, they were mostly iron back then, not porcelain. So they would retain so much heat from the water that it would just be, like, burning all your tender bits.

I think there was some, like, I see a lot of them, like, either bronze or something, you see that kind of color. But it's just weird that the fucking shower was around, So early on and yet no one was just like, this seems cleaner. And just more logical. And faster. Yeah, a lot less work to make it all happen. You'd have to master gravity at that point.

But you also could build like a larger area where you could set a bucket on top and just fucking put a cork in the side of a bucket, pull the cord. And it wouldn't be hard to at that point develop. You know, they had cisterns to heat stuff up. So why wouldn't you have just an elevated cistern that held water and it made it hot and then dropped the water out on you? It just, it seems like it would make more sense. The more shocking part about that was that was 300 BC. We didn't get a patent on an actual shower until 1767. So we're 2,000-ish years behind.

And a plague that killed 200 million people due to fucking germs before someone was like, you think the shower thing is going to catch on? So it was like, I'm investing heavily in blimps. You can fucking, this shower thing's going to be a flash in the pan. It's never going to happen. blimps are where it's at. You also see people, Churchill, huge bath guy.

Yes. And he was way further along. Yeah, Churchill, I don't think. A fat, gross man. I was going to say, Churchill seems like the kind of guy that probably any time he had an excuse to be off of his feet, he probably wanted to. So like Winston, you know, there's this new thing sweeping, you know, called the shower.

Basically, you stand in it and the hot water comes over, you help you get clean. He's like, what do you have to do? He's like, you have to stand under the, no. No, don't ever speak to me about this again. I'd rather plop in than get done. I can't have my cigar and my fucking brandy and everything sitting next to me if I'm fucking have water pouring all over me.

It's going to put out my cigar and water down my brandy. This is a terrible idea. If only he'd been around for the shower beer. Maybe that was him. Maybe that was how they tried to trick him into taking showers. Like we'll put a smaller opening. We'll find you a fucking scotch glass with fucking smaller opening. You like wine?

It keeps putting. It keeps putting my cigar out. This isn't happening. Back to my bath. Prepare my fucking bath. So 1767. Finally, someone gets in on the shower game. Well, the first flushable toilet was actually invented by Sir John Harrington back in 1596. I'm glad to know he was a sir. He was knighted. What were they flushing down? I know they were flushing like their... Were people trying to put stuff down it that they were wiping their ass with? because this is right around the time when 1596,

yeah, people are still wiping their ass with rags and all kinds of stuff. Like, you're getting so much shit. Do you see the videos like when people flush shit down their septic systems and wipes, non-flushable wipes and everything? No, I can't.

Okay. It's, I mean, it's obviously disgusting because it backs them up and then they have a flood of shit and everything. What I'm thinking is like, what are these people putting down there? God,

plumbers at that time, they're like this motherfucker with this goddamn flushable toilet. When we were in Mexico, that was one thing that I was kind of surprised by was in some areas they would have trash cans next to the toilets and the stalls. And you would leave your business in the toilet and flush it. But the sewer systems were so bad that you would just put your wiped-ass toilet paper in the trash can. And I'm sure that was probably the system here was they probably didn't want to flush their rags or anything like that because they knew that they were just going to be able to wash them and use them again. Yeah. So I'm sure it was just for waste. There was a, I can't remember, I want to say it was probably in Greece.

I don't know how I forgot this when we're talking about things that you wiped your asses with. I can't remember if it was in Greece or Italy or something, but there was a time where they would have like a wooden dowel and the wooden dowel would basically have a rag wrapped around it. And what you would do is like you would take that, you would wrap the towel around and then be able to wipe your ass with it and everything. to wipe again, you could roll it the other way, and then you would just pass it off to whatever fucking servant was manning it, and they had to then clean your shit off this fucking thing. You don't want to be on shit duty at that one. You don't, but that seems at least a little bit better than just fucking using a communal sponge on a stick. True. Scrub your unders. Yeah. So in 1888, first deodorant, which actually killed odor was, uh, oh, it killed odor

causing bacteria was invented. So before then it was people just wiping flowers and oils under their armpits. They were trying to figure out how to cover the smell instead of kill the smell. Yeah. So that to me seems like it was fairly early, 1888. It's a pretty long way away for something that we kind of take for granted. I, again, this is another thing like the people that brush your teeth in the morning. I do wonder how many people put deodorant on. I have to assume that it's the majority of the population, but you know that there's still people that don't. Did you say you felt like 1888 was late to the game for deodorant deodorant or early to the game. I feel like it was earlier than what I would expect.

Yeah, I think there's a natural progression to this that you can kind of track is first you would do the whole hygiene thing to make your body smell better for disease and everything. After that point, you'd be like, okay, what still smells? And then you would attack, you know, in this situation, you would probably go for the toothbrush like you were talking about. Like, how do we address the mouth thing? Yeah. That's the area. And so you're doing a process of elimination of just making yourself not fucking stink.

So after that, then you would be like, okay, we're bathing now. We are brushing our teeth to some degree. What's causing us to stink now? They're like, well, during the day, you know, we're wearing fucking wool and fucking cotton and all that heavy shit, even when it's hot outside long sleeves. We're starting to sweat and we find that the most smell is coming from our armpits. And they're like, all right, fuck it. Now we've got to design something that you can spread on your armpits that's not going to make them stink. It's like you figured out the basics and now you're working towards more of the advanced issues. And then after that, I think that's probably when... And I know perfume has been around. Perfume has been around even before any of this shit to try to mask all of this shit.

But then at that point, now we're going from... We were smelling like shit, smelling less like shit. Our mouths aren't smelling as shitty. Now our armpits don't smell. We're almost to a neutral point of just maybe having a not stinking. And now we're just like, do we keep going? yeah, let's just make a bunch of shit we can spare on ourselves to make us smell all different fucking kind of ways.

Let's make it to the moon. And it took them fairly quick after that. Anti-perspirons were 1903. So from 1888 to 1903. Somewhere spilled a bag of aluminum shavings into the batch of fucking deodorant, and they were like,

what do we do? They're like, wow, this is a big batch of deodorant. I don't know. Just fucking use it. Somehow. And all of a sudden, people kept buying it and everything. They're like, we saw an uptick in the user on one of their testers, and the guy was like, I don't even sweat at all.

I haven't sweating a month. No one even questioned it either. They're like, is it healthy to not sweat at all if we just completely block it up? Yeah. I don't know. I never realized that you said that earlier,

that that's what the aluminum shavings do. That's why there's aluminum and deodorant or an antiperspirin is to clog up pores, but it makes total sense. On the lady front, on the female front, 1931, a man, of course, a physician, Colorado Earle Hasd developed a cardboard applicator tampon that was meant to absorb menstrual blood. He made the tampon inside the applicator from a tightly bound strip of dense cotton that was attached to a string for easier removal. That, to me, seems like a way better system than would you hear it was like women would use parts of their dress. parts of their apron, they would use just like animal, they would use wool,

but they would just like, do like a pad of wool or something like that. That has to, a tampon has to be a major step up from using. That had to have been a situation where that guy had just been confronted by too many bears, and he was like, honey, we got to do something about this. I can't keep fighting off these fucking bears off the property. I don't want to move into the city and you keep bringing bears to the house. I beat three bears. Next bear that shows up could be the last.

I'm just going to let him take you next time. But that is like, do you think that that is an invention born out of him seeing a way to make money? Or do you think he was like trying to actually help someone like his wife or his daughters or something like that? I'm going to lead towards humanity on this one and say that it was probably something to take care for his family. I like thinking about that, yeah. I don't like thinking about it, but I'd like thinking of that, him doing that in a nice way. I don't know this man. I have no relation to him.

I'm going to go ahead and just completely besmirch him because he's not going to defend himself. I want an envision like a montage where he's like out in the garage and you'd be here like some rocky music playing everything and he's out there and he's got the light shined on his desk and he's bounding cotton up and then he's trying to put it into cardboard and he's cutting pizza cardboard and puts it in there and then he puts a string on it and he just keeps failing

and he keeps falling apart. He's sweating and he's getting discouraged and you see him out there with coffee, staying up all night and then finally you just see him putting it together and gets it and he stands up. And he's like, honey, come shove this up your pussy. That poor woman, all that testing, that poor woman had to have done. I'd like to think, too, that she had actually come up with the idea.

But he's like, no, you're a woman. That's stupid. Let me figure this out. And he finally comes up with the idea. And she's like, yeah, I told you about that. Patent 247. She's like, I see you did what I said here. And he's like, yeah.

And she's like, and you did the string that I mentioned. He's like, well, yeah, after testing, I found the string. I determined that the string was the best course of action. and she's like, is that cotton in there? Didn't I mention you have absorb in that cotton would be and that it could simply be thrown out? And he's like, yeah, but I thought I kind of had that I did to begin with.

Listen, just cram this thing up your hole and see if it works. Yeah, I'm trying to make us rich and I'm trying to stop you from bleeding everywhere. Fucking bears. It had to have been, I would assume, there was no way that a man just invented it without a heavy dose of information from a female.

Like that she probably, his wife, wife probably deserves a lot more credit. He probably was like, hey, let's call it a rip cord. And she's like, women aren't going to want to call that a rip cord. It's just, I built it, I name it. 1923, and I know we're kind of jumping back and forth on dates, but it's just different stuff. So 23, Q-tips are actually created by Leo. How do you pronounce it?

Gertzen-Zing? Gertz-Zing? Gertzzyng? Gertz-Zany? Yeah, Gertz-Zang. Okay, so Leo creates Q-tips. Now, Q-tips are not for cleaning your ears, believe it or not. That's what people use them for, but nowhere on the box of Q-tips does it instructs you to put them in your ear.

Yeah, you're not supposed to put it, Q-tips in your ears, man. They're supposed to be used for cleaning stuff and other types of things, but the advisement is to never stick anything in your ears. Well, you can use it to clean. It never says put it. It says you can clean the outside, but it is never meant to clean. sorry, it's never meant to clean your ear canal. It says nowhere, do not insert this in your ear. It's just supposed to clean around the outside.

Because they actually, this was an adaption from something that they had. All over history, they would find small sections of wood. And they would almost have like a cup at one end. And people used to use them back in ancient times to actually scrape the earwax out of their ears. That is what you're supposed to do. That's why the whole thing is you can use a bobby pin, but you use the circular, the bendy part. and you just use it to scrape, like gently scrape. Just think of it in the same way that you're using the little spoon thingy.

Instead of a spoon thingy, it's just a little circular, almost like a hook, but like a continue, you know, it's not like the hook. That feels so much more dangerous than Q-Tip. I know it does, but here's the whole point with what they found with Q-tips. And when they were invented, I'm talking on my ass right now. They could have been meant to clean your ears and that kind of stuff. They have been since proven as medical, you know, science has advanced that Q-Tips. that Q-tips don't function as they should because what they do is

they don't grab the wax. Have you noticed that you have to get in there and almost like twirl it to kind of like Yeah, there's a motion that you have to get to get in. But what you end up doing when the Q-Tip goes in is you end up compacting and pushing in wax. You don't get out half as much as you're pushing in. That's why there's all those little new

fucking gadgets that have the scoops and the cameras that just use a scoop and you're supposed to go in and just gently pull the wax out. Yeah. Q-tips, cute tips have been causing problems by it. But I don't know. I used Q-Tips my entire life, not even shit new.

And then I finally started using within the last year or two, these, the little either a bobby pin or that little grabber thing. And I don't have wax built up in my ear at all. I had wax built up the first time that I had to use the little hook thingy. But I haven't had any sense. And I'll take Q-tips. In my ears? I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't plugged up.

But I had a lot of like dark-colored old wax. Okay. We're good. Okay. So anyway, he invented. He invents, yeah, he invents that. It's used for a whole bunch of stuff. Then in 1927, liquid shampoo is invented by Hans Schwartzcoff.

And if you've ever, isn't Schwarzkopf like a famous name in shampoo? I think so. Or like a beauty school or something like that. But yeah, so, I mean, we're making progress. Here's the thing that kind of is weird to me. Where's the hand soap thing you had? It's the top one. Okay.

So it takes till 1984. for a guy named David Poshy and Peter Devon? Devon, I think. Devon. To file a patent for antimicrobial soap. Do not confuse that with antibacterial soap, because that wasn't invented yet. But we have fucking shampoo in 27.

What the fuck is in the shampoo, then? Well, I understand shampoo doesn't kill stuff in your hair or anything like that, but, like, it seems like it was a long time to be like, well, we're washing our hair. Shouldn't we have something that really cleans our hands, considering our hands are fucking touching our assholes all the time. Pubes, man.

You had to figure out how to make that bush smell better. That's true. Yeah, maybe little known fact. That's how it was found out. It was actually shampoo was meant for downstairs hair. And then people finally at one point, they were scratching their pubs washing it in a real healthy lather, and then they had an itch on their head.

They're like, I wonder, will it work up here too? Soft luxurious hair. and Southwiseries, Luxuries Bush. North and South. I don't know. It does seem weird, though, that, yeah, you wouldn't want to take care of the microbial stuff first. And it actually did sort of become the first antibacterial because there was something, or is something called triclosan that I believe is still used.

And when it was added to the mixture, it would kill the bacteria beyond the microbes are probably smaller than bacteria. but the actual like germs that were on your hands would be killed by the trekklissan. And I was pretty shocked to find out that first company that made it is still around very powerful today. Dial. Yeah. That's, I mean, if you find what your, you know what, dial doesn't seem like they've really tried to go outside their wheelhouse. Not the market on NASCAR. and make soap.

Well, here's the thing, too, is like, if you're doing something, I'm sure Dial has tried to make some other shit that failed and everything. But if someone says dial, it's just, it's soap. That's all you think about. That's all they've really stayed in their lane for. The clean-ax of soap. Yeah. They probably had, they've had their versions of Crystal Pepsi, I'm guessing, or no one fucking

remembers it. But, yeah, it's kind of like, fuck like companies that have been around since like World War II. They got famous like GE and all that kind of stuff that were building planes or Boeing or Lockheed and everything that like, oh yeah, like you've been at this for a while. Well, I guess

but that was just in what? That was after it was right around the 80s, so it's not lasting staying there. The fact that we didn't have anti, that means we went through how many fucking wars without any bacterial soap readily available. And I'm sure peroxide was invented before

that. I'm sure. Oh yeah. They had certain things to clean out wounds and to make that all happen. People used vinegar a lot. I don't know. I guess vinegar has probably been around for forever and they noticed that it was so acidic that it would probably kill things. But they used vinegar for a shitload of cleaning purposes.

One of the other very scary things that came much too late. Yeah. So this is before that. U.S. disinfectant Lysol.

was the number one selling feminine hygiene product in the early to mid-1900s. Sold as both a douche and a feminine contraceptive, a series of vintage advertisements show just how bizarrely the household cleaner was marketed to women as a vaginal douche. You've gotten Lysol in your hands before, right? Mm-hmm. And you feel that burn. Could you imagine putting that on that precious, precious skin? And that was something that had staying power to it?

The only reason that that's not more shocking to me is there's been recent events in which people in positions they may be, or very surely should not have been in, asked medical professionals if there was a way to spray disinfectant into people's lungs, was it? Or to inject it into their bodies? Injected. Yeah, that's, it would be more shocked to me if that still wasn't being asked or suggested that people do that. So what do you like? You're cleaning the toilet? and you're like, I guess I haven't cleaned my vagina in a while. So you just like spray some in the toilet and then you just lift up your skirt and spray some on your...

On your bench. Two birds is one stone. And then as you're sitting there watching it, remove the stains from the toilet, it doesn't tawn you at all. You're just like, oh, making this pussy stain free. It's just the burning sensation is... It's working. That's how it's working. Yeah, I guess it's...

If it burns really bad, it means you were extra filthy. It's like the, this will take care of it. First time you accidentally get Ben Gay or Tiger Bomb or something on your ball bag. Can you imagine your wife steps out, honey, I'm all freshly clean for you. You go down there. You know what probably happened? I don't think, you know. Men got tired of having the Lysol taste in their mouth.

That might have been it. That might have biologically ruined oral sex for a long time. And then just to get fucking. dick burn. Yeah. Like what smells like fucking bleach? It's all for you. That's fucking crazy

that that was marketed for that. The world's a weird place. And I like to think that we're getting better about hygiene even today. But I still see two things that just shock me. And one of them, if you want to save the world this way, more power to you.

And what you do in the privacy of your own home is of no concerned to me. But if you're in public, flush the toilet when you piss. I don't want to know how hydrated you are.

Or if this may not... Well, if you're hydrated enough, then you won't even notice. Mm-hmm. And always flesh your piss. Obviously, always take care of your number two's because that's just so much worse.

We're having a water shortage on the island. So we're going with the, if it's mellow, let it mellow, if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. The second thing gets me worse than anything. And I don't care if this is just for show or for peace of mind. But if you're ever in a public restroom or you're at work and you've got multiple stalls or whatever, if you are against washing your hands after you go to the bathroom for some weird reason, just at least go turn the water on and make me think that, you're against washing your hands after you go to the bathroom.

and make me think that you're trying to clean yourself up. Because if you see somebody walk out of a stall or walk away from a urinal or whatever magic happens in a female bathroom. For me, it always happens when I'm in the stall. You hear someone come in. They piss. They flush. And you just hear the chew and you see them walk right out. Just like, ugh.

Or you're standing at the urinal and somebody just walks straight out of the stall. I think you're making it harder for someone. So you get those people that are on the fence about it. and I think if you're doing the urinal thing next to each other, you know peripherally what that person maybe looks like. That person has introduced themselves in a way to you. You know what that person also, for the most part, you're going to turn maybe if they leave,

you're going to maybe glance or look in the mirror or something to see what they're wearing. That person is now identifiable to you within the area that you're in. Now, if you're just stopping by a restaurant or someplace, well, not a restaurant, because if you come out and you see that person sit, other table. You almost just want to walk by and be like,

filth. You should be allowed to publicly shame people for that. Hey man, just in case you're wondering, the water in there, actually, you were probably worried about it. It did work. And I made sure it works. So if you want to hop back in there and wash your hands after handling your dick. Just walk up to their server and be like, hey, don't touch that guy's car. Just clasp it in the thing. I watch him hold it while you, you better hope it has touch. He didn't wash. But even if you're not going to do it, If by some weird mental issue that you have that you just don't decide to do that, at least entertain everybody else in public and go over and turn the water on, fake it,

scroll out a little bit of paper towel. It doesn't have to be a dryable amount, but just make me think that you at least gave a little bit of an effort. That's such a, just a weird, scary thing. Put on a little show for me. And we're not asking much. Peace of mind. Uh-huh.

Just... Give me 12 seconds of your time. Something. Just so I don't have to think of. about that for the next half hour and I don't have to be sitting in a store and go to grab something like, well, somebody probably grabbed that before me and didn't wash her hands.

Now everybody is disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. How far we've come in such a long fucking amount of time and how yeah, it took a lot of steps back. A lot of steps back and there's just always room for improvement in this area.

All right. Well, you got any final thoughts on this one? No, just wash your hands Let me go take a shower when I get home. Yeah, yeah. All right, guys, well, thanks for joining us for another episode. We'll see you next week. Peace.

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