Historically High - The History of James Bond

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

OO7, licensed to kill, with a thirst for shaken Martinis and an apparent allergy to condoms. Created by Sir Ian Fleming, International Super Spy James Bond originally existed only in print, until his big screen debut in 1962's Dr. No. Since that time its been a constant stream of beautiful woman, exotic locations, Megalomaniac Villains, Deadly Henchmen, crazy gadgets, and some of the coolest cars ever made.  Join us as we talk about what Bond has meant to us, the good, the bad, and the insanely ridiculous.Support the show Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You're the coolest guy in the world. Let's maybe chill out on the bad comments. It's been weird for me to, like, watch this and watch it, like, through different eyes, essentially. Uh-huh. And realize that, like... High eyes? Stone-dyes? Well, not only...

Well, yeah, that, but also, like, watching it as an adult where you have some comprehension of, like, age. Mm-hmm. Like, because as you're, you know, watching this... Okay, so, I mean, might as well not beat around the bush about it. Yeah, because we'll leave the bush beating to James Bond. There's a lot of bush beating. Kind of bush beating. This happened in the 70s.

The height of bush, Bond was in there like a goddamn raccoon just hiding in the bush. It's like the wilderness must be explored. So we're going to be talking Bond today, James Bond. Dund D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Ban-A-B-D-B-D-B-D-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-----... One of the... First of all, that guitar riff, regardless of you've seen or not, you know that's the James Bond riff. I always, it's always the Trump, it's always...

Yes. And, second question, or second comment about that, uh, the opening scenes that they used to have. Is that down the rifling of a gun, or is it someone who Bond is shooting at? It's their gun. It's the... So how does the blood come over the top of it? Because the, I don't know, fuck. Because it looks good.

Yeah, you can see the rifling in it, so it either looks like a camera. That's why it's followed. That's why it follows him. It's like it's an assassin that's trying to kill Bond unexpectedly, and that's when he turns and fires and he kills the guy that was going to kill him. Okay, so it's not like a spy with a camera, like some sort of a lens that's on him. No, it kind of looks like the lens that closes. Well, I mean, here's the thing, too.

It's supposed to always be the rifling. but prior it was just a black circle. So maybe it was something different, but then later on they added rifling to where you could actually see it. Bunn history is very fun to me because it, I mean, it's born out of

not necessarily reality, but also not necessarily not reality. Yeah, I mean, it has its inspirations on real things. It's just an exaggerated version of it. But. I'll be goddamned, he's not the greatest man that ever lived or didn't live either or he's i i say that just mainly based on the feelings that i get watching his action scenes or watching a chase scene i don't know if

there's any movie that can compare to like some of the chase scenes that happen no and it's it's weird that they always have like there's always a structure so you always know there's going to be a chase in it very strict formula yes so he's bang chick meet bad guy well no it's first it's first it's first he's in the he's mid mission it always starts out in the middle of a mission and you get that opening scene of him doing like a what like 10 or 15 minute mission and then it's always i don't know sometimes it's related to that mission and sometimes it's unrelated to it the newer ones was it after casino royale when they cut away from um the not m i 6 but that the office that they were in that's up and then it cuts to Daniel Craig, like the beginning of the next one,

Skyfall or whatever it is, is the smoldering building? No, Spector is the smoldering building. So Sky Falls when it gets blown up. When Judy Dench's M's office gets blown up. I just watched that one like two days ago. But yeah, well, here's the thing, too, is you never even saw what building they were working out of until you actually got to like the Pierce Brosnan era. Like, MI6 was all secretive.

Did you know that I think MI6? nobody even knew publicly. They hadn't even revealed themselves publicly. Before Bond. Before Bond. I want to say I heard that. It was a thing the government knew about. People within the government knew what MI6 meant,

but the public wasn't really aware of it until, and that's just one of the things Ian Fleming got out of it. Let's just knock out Fleming first, because I feel like once we get into Bond, we're not coming back to Ian Fleming. Yeah, this is going to be a, I don't want it to be a scatterbrained episode, but Bond just kind of does that to you.

It's watching these movies over again, and I didn't watch all of them. I don't think that I've seen all of them. I know that there's a few that I watched when I was a kid, and it's like, this is bad now. I can't imagine going back to like Octopus. Terrible, terrible movie. There's just, it's, there's so bad

that you almost have to watch them. Yeah. Yeah, Moon Raker for me, spoiler, probably my favorite. It's so bad that it's just good. Yeah. It's just like, of course that's going to happen in a Bond movie. It has like every, the thing that Bond movies are not scared of is just to lean into like tried and true tropes.

Absurdity. Absurdity. Like the fact that the cover for Moon Raker is Bond in like the stereotypical like metallic space suit. Like that looks like a goddamn heat blanket. Well, but he's holding no helmet and he's holding the gun. You're just like, oh shit. in space. And the great part about that, Bonn being in space,

we hadn't launched like the space shuttle yet. So nobody knew about what the space shuttle looked like. Okay, so what happened there was. Yeah, they got the free look in preview on it. Yeah, and then the shuttle got delayed, but the movie didn't get delayed. I always wondered

about that, because when I first heard that, I was like, oh shit. I was like, how did they get it so right? And then it came out. I wonder how many people after that happened, when they finally unveiled the space show, they're like, did these motherfuckers just actually base this thing

on the Bond movie? All right, Ian Fleming. Yeah, yeah. Sir, Ian Fleming. Interesting cat. He kind of always seemed like he failed upwards. I know that he came from a more of a well-to-do class. And his brother was actually a pretty fairly well-aclaimed filmmaker too

and kind of helped him get into some situations that he was in as far as like jobs, different schools to get movies or to get books produced. He owes a lot to his brother just because I think his brother wrote based on his actually, so he was an adventure novelist,

but he wrote actually based on his adventures. So where you have Ian Fleming, who is writing fiction that may take certain character traits from people that he knew or from things that he experienced during World War II, his brother actually was like,

adventure novel as to where he would actually go on these adventures, like go up the Amazon. I want to say he wrote like the Lost City of Z. Could have been. Or something like that. It was something along those same lines. Definitely. Total adventure novel, but like actually put in the groundwork to like be able to write something. It wasn't a fiction.

It was documenting his travels. Oh, his were actually, I thought his was fiction. No. And so that he was a pretty famous. He was more famous as a writer prior to Ian Fleming writing Bond. Fleming, oddly enough. Born in 1908, that seems like forever ago for some things, but I guess for other things, not so much. Yeah, born in 1908, not a whole lot.

Like I say, he grew up in a well-to-do family, so everything was fairly easy for, and there wasn't a whole lot of struggle, anything like that. Once he left college, he kind of floundered and was hoping to land somewhere. He went to a few different colleges, and I believe one of them he got kicked out of for, getting gonorrhea from a prostitute. I heard that, yeah. Not sure how true that is, but when you realize that... So are you getting kicked out because you have gonorrhea?

Are you getting kicked out because he had sex with a prostitute? Got to be prostitute. I would imagine. Because I think depending on the outcome, it's still, like, illegal and might put a bad name on the university or whatever program is... We have a strict no gonorrhea policy. That was how they checked them to make sure that there was no bad issues that happened over the weekend was they just had to pull their

dicks out. May 1939 Fleming gets recruited by a guy named John Godfrey. He was the director of Naval Intelligence and he brought him in to become a personal assistant. John Godfrey was one of Fleming's father's

friends. So there was a little bit of like... Daddy got me the job. Yeah, yeah, a little bit of hand-downs. So 1939, pre-World War II, naval intelligence. This is World War II. Yeah, but pre-world.

Oh, I guess they had already started, huh? Yeah, yeah. Remember, we relate to the party. Yeah, that's right. He's in the thick of it in 1939. 1942, he formed something called the number 30 commando unit, and they were tasked with seizing enemy documents. As the front line would push into areas in these countries,

they were tasked with going into these specific laboratories, research facilities. Pretty much any type of, like, command center that they had. So they would send part of kind of what normal infantry guys jobs would be. They were doing the fighting. But, I mean, if they stumbled upon a command post or something, they were supposed to try to grab some documents and send runners back from the front. These guys were basically, like you were saying,

if they're, I think, were more high, well, high value, but also, like, more sensitive, like places, they would go in to try to do this, these raids. Less gun carrying and more. Yeah, and try to get. like basically any type of what did they call it when we brought over the scientist it was intellectual property yeah intellectual reparation something like that so yeah we were after they were after intellectual property basically anything that they could gather from these you know

Nazi places whatever so uh during that time too I'm trying to think kind of because he didn't have like a super exemplary or like um impressive military career. No. A lot of people didn't like him. Yeah, I was kind of surprised to find that out because he is Sir Ian Fleming.

He was knighted. He definitely, I don't think he was knighted for his World War II service. No, I think he got knighted at some point for Bond. Being an author.

Yeah. But March, 1944, he was in charge of giving intel to the Royal Navy to prepare for Operation Overlord. And Overlord was the Normandy, right?

Yeah, so, yeah, Overlord was, what did we do? We did Operation Fortitude. Yeah. And then we did a paperclip. Yes. So that was also in preparation for Overlord, another section of it where, you know, misinformation. So I'm not sure exactly what his role was in regards to Overlord if he was, you know, logistics or planning or, you know, sending ahead specific units, probably something to do with his commando unit to be like, hey, we need to make sure we're getting into these areas in France and trying to find maps. and Intel about other German positions in France. Yeah, as he's handing over all that intel to the Royal Navy, he's explaining probably where the troops are in relation

that the Nazi troops are as far as like where their their highest populations are to try to figure out how to, and just like we talked about in the Ghost Army, part of the plan was to make sure that all the troops... Are you speculating or is this what he really did? Well, I think Ian Fleming was a part of the Ghost Army too. Oh, okay. to think about with Operation Fortitude,

that plan was to try to split troops as far as getting away from... Yes, was to mislead the Germans into fortifying places where they weren't going to attack and try to draw support away. So I'm sure he was maybe writing scripts as far as... Not to say that it was scripted, but like the game plan... Yeah. On the British side to say... Yeah, you've got to craft a story.

Yeah, we're going to get these guys here. We're going to attack here. This is what we need to be. though that's a fairly high ranking I would say extremely high ranking to be the guy that's giving intelligence to the Royal Navy to prepare for one of the largest operations

or the most important operations? I don't know he was just, I think maybe he was, so you're saying he was in charge of? He was the advisor that was advising the Royal Navy on the intelligence that was collected. Okay. So could have been advising them as far as the command of 30.

He might have just been on like the British side, not so much for like the entire allies as far as giving intel, but he obviously had a pretty important role. Yeah. After the war, moved into print and media. He was a part of a newspaper group that allowed him, I think it was three months out of the year for winter,

to go vacation in Jamaica. And aptly named, we have the name of one of the greatest, maybe the greatest 1064 game ever made. Fantastic movie is. as far as it goes. Golden Eye was fantastic, but his place in Jamaica's vacation home was called Golden Eye.

Yeah. So that's where the name of the book came from, and then eventually the name of the movie. He wrote Casino Royale that finally got published on April 13th, 1953. So a decent time after the war. I mean, that's what, eight years, eight-ish years? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Maybe a little less from them. Victory over Europe and victory over Japan. They're different. But yeah, it's between seven and eight years. They probably had some mop up that he was still in charge of. But that's pretty fast to just spring yourself into... I want to know how much fucking money he was making. Well, again, his family was well to do.

Yeah, there's a good chance that vacation home might have been the families or his parents. Yeah, to afford, like, and to be able to just vacation like Jamaica, like halfway around the world, like for that three months. but yeah as far as when he wrote casino royale that was i want to say they did he turned in the draft and the publisher actually it was the same publisher that worked with his brother the publisher told him no and then like his brother actually pulled some strings and was like hey i'm i i sell well for you guys i don't know if he's like please has a favor just do this well it ended up being the right call because it sold out. How many different?

It went through three. Three different printings, I think. It sold over a hundred million copies. Or the Bond series has sold over a hundred million copies. Yeah, I think that one I'm trying to remember exactly. It was enough of a hit to go ahead and keep going. Yeah, he ended up writing 12 books and two short stories just based on Bond. He also wrote Chitty Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which don't know what it is, but I always hear it.

You don't know what Chitty Chitty Chitty Big Bang is? What is it? So it's like a kid's book, and I remember it more so for the movie, but it was, oh my God, it was like the really, I'm going to have to look this up, because I'm trying to remember the name of the actor. He's played in, he was famous for playing in like a TV show. Let's see, Chitty Chitty, Bing, Bang. Alan. Ellen. No, it was old. Dick Van Dyke. Really? Yep. DVD? Yeah. So basically, it's about like this. The car is called.

chitty-chitty-bang-bang. And it's this, like, magical car that has, like, wings and can fly. And it looks like an old, I mean, you can see it. It's like an old, like, model T or like an English version of, like, the model T. So is that like the English version of Herbie, the love bug? It could have been the inspiration for Herbie. Ace Ventura, when nature calls where he's like, oh, you pretty chitty-bing, bang, chitty-jitty-bang, chitty-bang, we love you.

He's singing the song. They sing the movie. Oh, that's a song in there? Yeah. It's kind of like, think of it like a, uh, uh, uh, car version of Mary Poppins, like that on that level for like British movies. Okay. But I think he-

Got to be a big hit then. Well, he wrote it for, I want to say, like his kid or his nephew or something, or niece. He wrote chitty, chitty-bang-bang for a niece or nephew, and then he wrote James Bond for his brother. For every, everybody. For every man on the planet. Have you ever read one of the Bond books? I have not read one of the Ian Fleming books, but I read a Bond novel. I'm trying to remember.

I went through the authors that did it. It was one of the more recent guys, but it was a very casino royale-ish in the sense of like it was at Bond, like almost at that stage of his career, where he's still very early on. And it was more of that tone of like very like, it wasn't like gadgety and all that kind of stuff.

It was more like he's an assassin, he's a soldier, that kind of stuff. So it was good. I mean, they definitely, I think each officer, author, aside from Ian Fleming, of course, brings something different to the character. But yeah, I mean, that's one of those things where, like, you, getting, like, the ability to write a James Bond book is just something that, like, you have to be picked for that. Yeah. It's not like you can just write a book with the character of James Bond to be like, yeah, that's cool.

Like, you have to have approval. So you already have to have some great credits to your name to be able to do that, I think. I don't know what it means as far as for me, but looking at the list of authors, I didn't recognize anything. No, they're not like authors that you're going to actually recognize that have written other works. There's people, I think, that primarily exist within, like, fiction writing

that will write for, like, video game franchises and all that kind of stuff. Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, like, there's a couple authors that write a lot of Star Wars stuff, but then also written for, like, Gears of War and, like, other video game franchises. But yeah, 12 books in all. And two short stories. I don't, were all of them adapted for movies? I think all of them have been.

And I think Casino Royale twice. Once as a TV show. And then the plot was, I mean, it was similar, but I mean, nowhere near as movie-ish. I think it was a TV series, like a short-lived TV series. Yeah, we got to put a pin in that because I do want to talk about that at the end as far as what you would like to see down with Bond or the things you do. don't want to see. Going forward. Yeah, I don't ever want to see a series.

Okay, we'll get to that. Yeah. Like, I'm going to, because I'll get fixated on that for the pros and cons of that. So he ends up writing in every time he goes to Golden Knight, this is when he's writing his books in the three, three months span that he keeps going down. Yeah, to Gold Knight to write these. So the first, are we getting into the actual Bond bio now? Yeah, I think the nice thing about Bond being in. fictional character is this is all history technically, but you can kind of jump into like the

fantasy of his father and mother and being an orphan child and all that. But then there's still snippets of reality, like how he got his name, where 007 came from, those different things like that. It's like you, you can mix in reality with the fantasy that create, or the reality that created the fantasy. Yeah. And I mean, the character of Bond and, and his history and biography just seems like it's kind of a mishmash of different choices that Fleming made based upon people that he saw and wish fulfillment and this kind of stuff. Like apparently like a lot of bonds like culinary and like drink choices and habits are based off like Fleming. And then. Fleming had shit taste in.

Oh yeah. It was like horribly bland shit. Yeah. And everything. His, his martini's. Shaken not stirred. They changed that a lot. They changed that a lot for also, like,

they changed that aspect of Bond a lot for once they put him in movies. But like, as far as like Bond in the books, he's very like bare bones about stuff. Oh, well, and you don't really need a catchphrase in a book. No, I mean, you still have him. But so the character of James Bond, born from a Scottish father and a Swiss mother, I want to say his father was like,

worked in like the railroad industry. They were richer. Do you know why his father is Scottish? His father is Scottish because Fleming ended up liking Connery so much that he had to kind of retool the backstory to explain why he would have had a Scottish accent. He adapted James Bond's father just to get Connery to sign off on being born. How cool is that? I think he did it after he saw him.

But that's what I mean. Like he wanted Connery. to be a part of it. He's like, I can make this work. I can make this guy who can't do an accent to save his fucking life. He tailored the character for the portrayal of the character, like they did with Samuel Jackson for Nick Fury. How Nick Fury used to be the white guy with the iPatch and everything, and everything, he started playing him now in all of the cartoons and comics and everything, he looks like Samuel Jackson. So even going forward, they've just adapted the whole thing. Wow. Yeah. So Scottish father and a Swiss mother, he gets orphaned at the age of

11 after his parents were in a climbing accident. Apparently that happened a lot because you always hear people like in Europe like what happened. He's like, it was a climbing accident. The Swiss Alps are just rife with dead bodies that have been swept up by avalanches. So many orphans have been created by climbing accidents. Like what?

At some point these parents are just being reckless when they're like, hey, we're going climbing this beginning. The kid's like, no! Only one of you can climb at a time. Hey, do you guys want to go with us? No. We want to stay home. So, and also part of kind of the bond mythos is around like age 11.

He's kind, or no, sorry, age 12. He's kind of brought in under like the stewardship of this guy. I'm trying to remember his name. Fuck. He was one of his father's friends, wasn't he? It's one of his dad's friends. And it's one of like the, it's the main plot point of Spector. Yeah, it is Spector because there's allegedly like a maybe a.

sibling or it's the son of the guy that took him under and they were basically like brothers and they were raised together and everything so he's brought under kind of the stewardship of this guy and at some point he tries to go to oxford or something like that or goes to school and he ends up getting kicked out for something which i think is a little bit of like probably banging his professor it was for was it for banging his professor i actually think it might have been judging by the by the character i would say yes i think it might have been, and I think that goes directly back to Fleming of saying, this is why I got kicked, like, kind of like that wishful fulfillment thing. Yeah, and being like, if I, if I, if I,

if I, I want to believe that I got kicked out, like something like that, making it seem cooler. Um, I called a professor and I paid her, so I still got gonorrhea. Gets it counts. So where does the name James Bond come from? I, just the most odd of places, it was just a, it was an ornithology book. It was an ornithology book. It was an ornithful. The orthologist that wrote a book that was sitting on the coffee table in Golden Eye or at GoldenEye, whatever you say that. He liked a birdwatch. Like Fleming was like a huge birdwatcher or something. And the guy, I forgot exactly what the title of the name was, but the author was James Bond, the famous.

I think he was Dr. James Bond because he was an ornithologist. So I do know that I think Fleming signed a book or, oh, that's what it was. The ornithologist sent him another book that he had written. and it was signed to Ian Fleming from the real James Bond. Oh, okay. So a nice little nod to like he actually was really proud of kind of spawning the name of the character. And he picked it because he wanted the most boring sounding. Just the most basic.

generic basic name you could fucking think of. Which it's weird to think now that James Bond was just like a vanilla name. Yeah. Because what we know now is nothing of vanilla. Mm-hmm. And then he, so in the, you know, bond history and everything, uh, double O, the double O status like 007, 006, 008. So the double O designation was basically what was provided to you that that was your license to kill number. So it didn't your, your, your double O status is basically, double O status

means you have a license to kill. It means you've, on mission, you've killed two people like that you were directed to kill. And then that earns you your double O status and then you have a license to kill at that point. And he ends up using 007 because that was the train that he wrote every day. So I mean, he's just picking out these. That's how it works though, dude. I mean, like when you're writing something, you are just trying to pick things. Comedians that write jokes just write a lot of them on just observations they make. Yeah, there's so many things within Star Wars like, you know,

a TDX thing that comes on your screen at the movies and it's like, and it does, it's the sound test. That has, like, its numbers or TDX, like, on certain doors,

like in Star Wars, because that's who created the company. Huh. There's, there's a whole bunch of, like, different dates and everything like that worked into this stuff. So it's no surprising that he's just picking stuff out.

You know, there's not a double-o status, but, like, now you're thinking about it, you're like, wait, is there some type of special status for, is there,

though? There's got to be some type of, like, Yeah, immunity to stuff. We don't know. Soldiers are provided that during wartime, like during rules of engagement and everything. And who else more creative to come up with it

than a guy that was in intelligence in the Navy? So just adding another layer to the Bond character and mystique, which who knows, maybe he realized that the train was 007. He thought of double O status, and that was based off of something that he had seen in the military. Or at some point, they're like, why is he 007? And they're like, well, he, that's his agent name.

Well, why is he need just seven? He's like, well, he has to have the double O status. And they're like, why? And he's like, fuck. The license to kill. Yeah, he's like, fuck. Because that's what gives him his status that he can kill people. They're like, that works.

Good enough. And that, yeah, he worked for MI6, which that was the branch that ended up handling, or what they believe handles like espionage and, like, spying and everything for, for Britain. Not sure if that's still the designation, but... I think it would have to be because there's still like MI3, MI5 that are like different branches of the intelligence field or the military. Yeah. So it just, the whole thing intermittently about to transition into the movies,

he has a fantastic secretary, Moneypenny. Well, it's not his secretary. Well, it's the secretary. It's EMS. Yeah, M secretary. So, yeah, so getting into, I guess, guess before we talk about the movies, because then we're going to be mentioning characters names. So you have James Bond, 007, British Secret Agent, Licensed to Kill, basically one of the,

if not the first, rules like superhero on screen. Like, come on, like, how quickly would some of these guys be dead? Oh, very, very, very quickly. Like, within the first movie, there's, yeah. James Bond should have been killed in every movie that he was in. Yes. Probably every book as well. Yes.

Like, this wasn't. There are certain James Bonds that definitely would have been dead before they even got to the gun barrel. Or no, before they even got to the actual song for the movie. Rod would have just tripped and fallen in the divinions. Okay, so you have James Bond. So he works for MI6. You have kind of going in order of who he reports to. So you have M.

M is just the designation for the current like head of the MI6. Then you have Q. Q is the designation for the person that is the question. quartermaster. He's the guy that hooks up Bond with all of his weapons and all the cool gadgets and the cars and all that kind of shit. What's Morgan Freeman and Batman?

Lucius Fox. So he's like his Q. Yeah, Lucius Fox is like his cue. Yeah. It's something that's been borrowed. It's Yeah, it has to be picked up from Bond because there's so many things. You have to think anytime you think of like someone has a tech guy in a movie or like someone that provides like the like their again quartermaster like their armor or anything a lot of

that is just based on m or no q it's stuff like that it's m it's q it's those it's code names yeah but those code names thinking of like men in black that has to be where men in black got the idea for agent j oh yeah yeah it just all this stuff that comes out of this i don't think it happened before fleming row bond this all has to be a spawn from from the actual bond. I'm guessing people in, you know, during war time did have code names and fake names. And I'm sure there were people maybe in, you know, command positions that like during secret or like stuff like that would have just code names that they would use. But I'm guessing it's hard to kind of distinguish at this time because this is so embedded as part of our culture.

Things from James Bond is that it's hard to kind of tell like which came back. first. And then if they told you, well, Bond actually did make, they made that up. That's not a real thing. You're like, well, that's kind of cool. Maybe it should be or something. Maybe it should stick. Yeah. You have different agents that sneak in. There's a rogue agent in GoldenEye. It's, I want to say it's 005? Uh, it's 006 or 005. Yeah. Alex, Alec Trevillian. Yeah. But you have kind of these characters that flowed in and out. And the main thing that you're always going to see in,

a bond movie over anything else over killing over anything like that it's always the women bond girls have spawned like their own imagery to just calling someone a bond girl or something like that is like the highest form of flattery yes these women were all gorgeous for their time uh some of them still somehow or just very beautiful women but from the beginning from uh doctor no the the love interest just start flowing in. Did you know? Okay, so it's Ursula Andres and Dr. No.

And she's the one that has that very famous scene where she's coming up out of the water and I think it's the orange bikini. She's got like the swim knife. They didn't even use her real voice. They had to have her dubbed. There's a ton of these Bond movies,

especially early on. Because you got to understand that like these are all being produced and done over in England. It's like Pinewood Studios or something that did most of them. So they're bringing in a lot of like foreign actresses. That's why you don't see like a lot of Americans.

That's like, have you noticed that? Like, Bond is its own is one of those weird things where it feels like such an American franchise. Strictly British. But it's British. And they don't really, they don't put any, I mean,

they do with American characters and stuff like that. They shoot in America. They direct some scenes. I'm not going to lie to you. Anytime a Bond movie takes place in America, it automatically loses point. with me. That's where we get the invisible car, huh? Nope, that one.

Okay, let's just start. We'll go from the beginning. So, 1962 was Dr. No, I believe? Yes. So all the way back then, that's what, 62 or 60 years? 60 years. 61 years now? I think they did. I think it did just go through its 60th anniversary. It's so crazy to think that Dr. No, just seeing the movie in and of itself,

the 60s, that feels like. that was pretty high technology for the 60s, at least in my mind. Watching the movies kind of going through and watching, I've seen them all, but I haven't seen all of them very recently. I went through and watched a couple from each of the actors, kind of what would be considered their best and what might be considered their worst. But that introduction of James Bond and Dr. No, where you don't see him, you see the cards and everything like that, and then the cards get put over,

and he's the one dealing the cards, and then the camel finally pans up to him and he's lighten the cigarette and just does the... The name is Bond. James Bond. I don't know, like, if you could ever get that more perfect,

like the idea of how to introduce that character, regards of how you introduce him, like, in other movies and everything like that, that's the first time anybody saw him on camera. So that... I don't imagine that's probably earlier in Connery's career where there's not such a... He looked old. Man, that's my...

Conner always looked old, though. Connery was 22 when he was old. Yeah. So Conry always seemed old to me. And he was only like, what, like 30... Was he 35 when he started 32? I think he was 32. I think he was on the younger side.

32. He looked already 40 at least in that first movie. And he was a, you know, he's a man. Like, you know, people at that... At that point, people didn't look young in their 30s. They looked like fucking men when they were, you know, you're in the, you're in goddamn England. You probably have a job at, you know, 10 years old. There's no jubilant 30-year-old in England.

I don't see that happening. No, you've already got like a 15-year-old kid at that point, just standard. You've already had to live with your parents telling you about like the war and all that. And just not, you're going to be weathered at a young age. And Connery certainly was weathered at a young age. age. So Connery, and I mean each kind of like era of bond, each actor kind of brings something different to it. It's never, you know, while it's the same character, everyone's interpretation of the character can be so vastly different.

So, I mean, Connery's bond was just seemed like a very, like, very confident, figured he could get out of any situation. I don't know if Connery's bond, I would consider him like a smart bond. Yeah. Like, he was a pretty reckless bond. He just oozed like machismo and suave. That's the whole point. Like, he could just get out of his, out of any situation just based on his, like, charisma. Like, that's what they were banking him.

He wasn't going to outthink, like, the villain or anything like that. His power was to essentially turn the villains women or, like, the hench women that they had. against them. So then he just had the jump on the villain. So basically he was just using his magic Bond dick to try to turn

these women traitor. That was like his greatest power. Like he did that in Goldfinger. He ended up turning pussy galore to, and we got to talk about these times. Yeah, that's the elephant in the room.

I feel like if you know Bond, it's tough to be two grown men and still have to do this. But Ian Fleming was a perfect. Oh God, yes. He was a dirty, downright pervert. Yes. And he wasn't like a, he didn't hide it.

It was out in the open for all to see. The thing about Fleming is that like all of the things with Bond are Ian Fleming wish fulfillment. And it was written at that time when, you know, even more so than like what you look at like Mad Men, where it was just like slapping chicks on the ass in the office and all that kind of stuff, making whatever fucking innuendos you want to. Because even from the get-go, Connery's Bond. comes off as a little rapy.

Yeah. I mean, in the first movie, he is like forceful, pretty forceful with a woman and everything. And it's weird to look back on that and being like, yeah, that's a little uncomfortable.

And I'm not trying to like sound weird about it, but like, I don't know if it's because so much stuff has steered away from that, that you watch that and is like, man, I bet if she knew who he really was, she'd press charges. He said his name was James Bond. Yeah.

You know how, lady, you know how many reports we get about a guy named James Bond forcing himself on women? A couple times a year this guy makes his way through. We always get a rash of sexual assault reports and they always give that name. Can't be the same guy. And then it's, well, what's your name? Uh, octopusy. Huh? Excuse me?

What's, what's your name? Uh, my favorite Bond woman, uh, Holly Goodhead. You're telling me. we're fucking throwing out Holly Goodhead and we're just gonna like let that go. No, you can't let that go. Especially, I think Austin Powers being the rip that it was, Ivana Hump a lot is fucking spot on for like 90%.

Did you forget about the actual character that had the dame that was pussy galore? A lot of vagina. Remember the chick at the poker table? She's like, a lot of vagina. And that's, it's funny to say those because, That would have been, like, strictly towing the line with Fleming. Like, Fleming did the exact same thing.

They probably, I'm pretty confident that they had to, like, dialed down the names that Ian Fleming. Because, like, the way that he wrote, it was, it leaned really hard into, like, the, like, what am I trying to say here? Like, the misogynistic part of it. Clantio Toole, uh, Zina Onitone. Zanyan on top. That was Golden Eye. Even that was pretty recent.

Pretty recent, but I do feel like going back and watching Golden Eye the other night, 1994 or 96? Ooh, you're going to flip that up. No, 95. 95? Okay, so middle it. We used to

watch movies in very poor quality. There was It had to have been a turn right around 2000, like the millennium. That pictures on TV started getting clearer because trying to watch a movie from that time period. And I would say probably even like home alone and shit like that that were up there. Look at the video game technology was when that was made. Like look at like the N64 graphics of that game. And you wonder.

But yes, I think I was watching it and I couldn't get the screen aspect to go to like. wide screen. I was like, the fuck is wrong with this. And it was just like the like smaller like sized downbox. And I was like, oh yes, this was before ratios were a thing. Hey, you guys remember when TVs used to be square? The fuck, dude. So weird. I mean, the whole point of the bomb franchise is just about like these weird like irresponsible, stupid like male fantasies is what it is. And then somehow I don't know if women just get brought along for the ride. Like, hey, honey, we're going to see the new Bond film. She's like, okay, whatever. Well, at least Daniel Craig's hot.

And that's one thing in doing research and really thinking about it was, I don't know if I've ever met a girl who has, like, ever made a Bond reference or anything like that. Not really. It's just, it's not for women. And I don't think it really matters. They could make it for women. I think interesting spill. If you are, we don't mean that in offensive way.

No. But what we're saying is that, like, if you like Bond fans, Fantastic. I grew up watching Bomb because my mom love Bond movies. My sister loves James Bond movies. What I'm saying is that it's not made essentially with your consideration in mind. Whether it becomes a good movie or fun. But what I'm saying is that it's not going to be a movie that tries to pull punches away to be like, well, the newer ones do. But especially like when these things were first started, these movies were made for men because guess who chose where we're going on the date? Just highly misogynistic movies. So I almost don't They're not good and I wouldn't say that I would ever want to see them made today Just because it feels different when you see something like in this day and age It's a bad phrase to use but it's like back in this time or things were different back then

Unfortunately things just were different back then yeah and I'm glad that they've changed and I'm glad that they've grown up But to appreciate these things in the time capsule that they were like just for guys it's the ultimate guys being dudes franchise. Watching it is almost like you're like, part of it is almost like the, I can't believe this used to be in movies. Like shit like that is like you're watching. I'm like,

I can't believe they just fucking like got to make movies like this. The absolute freedom that they had to just make a dumb storyline or a dumb joke or a rape joke, anything like that was just, it all flew back then. Well, the thing is, is, you know, these aren't like getting a ton of, you know,

this first movie, especially Dr. No, isn't getting a ton of money behind it. And I mean, you can tell it everything. But, I mean. They, I want to say Dr. No was a million dollar budget. They came out of the gate to without given like two shits about any type of like racial sensitivity. Because the dude, I can't remember what the black dude's name is in Dr. No. It is, it's.

And he's from like the island to go on to. I can't remember if it ends up taking place. Oh yeah. In Jamaica is where it takes place. And. this guy, oh, his name is Quarrel. And so he's like a native Islander there and definitely

like, he's just like, Mr. Bond, like, let me show you where you're going to go. Of course, he ends up dying. Oh, yeah. Probably first too, right? He ends up getting killed like him and Bond are trying to search someplace and he ends up getting killed.

But I mean, if you don't, if you want somebody to reach out to women for the Bond franchise, you can go straight to minorities because minorities like you say were just treated incredibly stereotypically. Yeah, was it? Chang in Moonraker was

Yes. He looks like Korean Seth Rogan. That's, there was the Timothy Dalton one that was basically about like heroin trafficking that took place between like Jamaica and the United States. Like I'm sorry, but I'm not saying like

keep the United States. States out of it. What I'm saying is like, it's not fucking interesting. When you come, when they have to come to the United States, I'm just like, man, like, you can have fucking set this like somewhere. Like, I see this shit all the time. Like, it's not exotic here. No.

No. Your brand of stereotype is something that we've been doing for a very long time. So you have Sean Connery, who ends up playing Bond through Dr. No, then from Russia with love. You would say Connery's defining feature, was the charisma.

Yes, and the fact that I think if we were to create like a hierarchy of bonds that you believe could go, like likelihood of actual survival for what they're doing, I think you go Craig. Brosnan. No, I go Craig, Connery, Brosnan, Dawton, Moore. I'm not counting Laysenby. Well, Laysenby would be number one. because he would just run away from the problem. He would escape somehow.

That's true. So, but I think, I mean, the way Conner, yeah, he was just so smooth and suave. And he had that, I mean, when you think of, like, James Bond and everything, like, he definitely had, like, the look of who you could believe was James Bond. He just aged. And I'm not even saying he was that old when he stopped playing Bond, but he just looked old. So when Bonn does this weird thing where regardless of the age of the actor playing Bond, the girls are barely like 20.

And so you get this as Bonn, it's the Matthew McConaughey thing. It's, I keep getting older. They stay the same. That's like the, that's like Bond said that before. So it would get like as the actor got older,

it got a little bit like creepier. But I mean, I think there was even one point where he like rejects a woman because she is like 19. And I think it's really. Roger Moore maybe. And it's like towards the tail end of his street. Yeah, it was, it might have been viewed to a kill where

she's like the ice skater. Uh-huh. And her name's B-B. And she's like, but she's literally stereotypical like 18 like, I want a pony. And like, I want ice cream. Hi, Mr. Bond. And like made her so seem so young that like. Roger Moore was very like it was the tail end of his. It was his last one. Yeah. So he's as old as a bond as he's ever been. And it's very like he's like the old dude.

it's like watching after her like her coach. It's very fucking creepy. But then like she liked him. So it was, I don't know if that was supposed to be like, he still got it. Like, I don't know.

He had morals. He didn't do it. We're going to get to that movie. We will get to that movie. Goldfinger, Thunderball, you only live twice. I think the best one out of the Connery.

Oh, and then Connery actually came back after George Lazenby came in. I don't know how that worked, but they got Connery to comeback for Diamonds are forever. But it wasn't an Eon. No, it was.

Oh, it was? You're thinking of never say never again. Okay. Which, yeah, that one is not really considered like official bond canon. I know you want to skip over Lays and B, but. No, no, we don't. I'm going to stay on Connery for a second. What do you think Connery's best bond is?

Uh, Goldfinger. I'll agree. Gotta be. I don't know if it's even for the fact that like it's his best portrayal of like James Bond, but I think just because that one I think is the most memorable bond. I don't know. Sweet spot with the character for sure. Yes, he had. He was his third bond, so he was still, he nailed down what made the character. It's got pussy galore. The character, and then the movie itself, I believe, also featured a flying all women's flight team or something

like that. So it did, in fact, have pussy a mass amount of it. Galore. Galore. It was one of the first times that a bond girl had been like kind of put on his equal footing like because she wasn't into bond at the beginning or anything like that she was working for goldfinger um she gave bond his own shit right back at him and everything the plot's fucking ridiculous like you're going to increase like goldfinger wants to increase the value of his own gold by nukeing or radiating all the gold in fort knocks so then and but they're like not going to know that like so so the guy that is getting rich off of all of his value of gold is not the guy that nuke the our gold supply.

Odd job. I don't, maybe this is also why this one is kind of the favorite is because like, odd job from Golden Eye, the game, people had to make rules. He was at the end of no too, wasn't he? Odd job? No, he only showed up in in GoldenE. Okay. This is when he's only showed up in Goldfinger. He was in Goldfinger. He was gold. He was Goldfingers like, man servant. But you couldn't use him in, I'm talking about the game.

You couldn't use him in Golden Eye. There was rules because whenever you shot, it would go over his head. But you could play with him. You just were, it was an understanding. Listen, as a person of honor, while the character was available for selection in the game, there were most of the time rules. And if you played with odd job, you were really much just admitting that you were a bitch. That's just, that's how it worked.

Oh, you were going to win, but you were a bitch. It was a hollow victory. Oh, but if you lost with odd job, you were doing something wrong. I think that was the risk that you, that's why you didn't pick him, because if you knew if you ended up losing with him, it'd just be, yeah,

you might pack your shit up and leave the sleepover. Sleepover is over. Yeah, sleepovers over for you. But yeah, I mean, the, the plots, ridiculous, as in any Bond movie, you know, our Goldfinger is, I can't remember where he's from. He's, like, German. or something like that.

Yeah, it's like Austrian almost. I expect you to die. But this is where you get some of those iconic like Bond scenes. Like he's the one that straps Bond to the table and does the laser beam that looks like it's going to cut into his dick first. Can I have happened? He's like, do you expect me to talk? And he's like, do you expect me to talk? He's like, no, Mr. Bond.

I expect you to die. And then somehow makes this giant elaborate, like this was the epitome of the elaborate like death to bond. and then he just like walks away. This is where they figure out how to, when we said, or when, yeah, what we said earlier, Bond's supposed to die in every movie. But the elaborate way to make that not happen is to put on these painstakingly long,

stupid ritual killings of Bond. You got to give the guy a chance to monologue. Yeah, he's, I think, what, there have been 23 movies. 22 or 23. 22, 23 somewhere around there. And he's only died in one of them. and then he came back, Daniel Craig, when he gets shocked back to life.

No, no, he's, well, he's dead now. I thought he can't, I thought they shocked him back to life. Have you not seen the new one? Mm-mm. Oh, he's dead. He dies. Huh.

At the end of it. Well, so he's what, 20, he could be 22 for 23? No, as far as like deaths in movies to not dying? Yes, but this death was of his own. He had a hand. in this. Yeah.

Yeah. But all these movies were meant, Bond was supposed to die. And that was the big hook that you were getting at every single one of them was this weird, elaborate scheme, which again,

this is where Austin Powers gets sharks with laser beams on their head because that's still not far off from the shit that Fleming was coming up with. I mean, a laser beam to start at the penis and cut somebody in half

is just a wild way to kill somebody. And you're like, what were you cutting with this? Like, what was this supposed to be like your special gold laser? So why do you have like human-sized bed with like fucking shackles right next to this thing.

You've been planning on cutting up, coming someone dick up with this thing since you had this thing installed. You know it. This was constructed for a reason. This is the reason this thing was made. Had he maybe hit Connery's penis, it might have saved just a mountain of STDs that got spread around the time. It would save so many future bond.

We're not bond girls. The Bond Girl wannabies. We'll get to that as well. But that's where you also get that scene where, I guess we're getting into it right now. So the formula, usually for Bond, is between what, two and three women in a movie. I think that's a pretty fair assessment.

So two to three win a movie he sleeps with. Women, but not all hookups. Not all of them are hookups. I would say he's like he's got a 97% like hookup effect in this. Success rates, yeah. And I have the numbers to back that up. We will go through the numbers. Usually there is a woman he meets,

Sometimes he knocks one out before the fucking music even rolls for the theme song. There are movies in which he knocks one out there. Moon Raker, he's on the plane. He gets a job done. No, no. He's on the plane, but he has to bail out, remember? Yeah, but I think they were getting dressed in the beginning. Oh, I think they were.

I think you're right. Yes. You only, oh, no, no. A view to a kill. He skis down a mountain, and then there's a little British submarine. that looks like an iceberg he jumps into and the inside of it for some fucking reason half of it is submarine and then half of it is

goddamn bedroom with like silk sheets and everything so even before the music rolls okay he usually then the next girl that he meets is he usually meets a woman that is working for the villain or the guy that he's sent to investigate

or double agent in some cases yes he gets in with her and then they sleep together now if it happens to be someone working for the villain, the villain then finds out about it, and James is literally one degree away from the responsibility for her death. So his body count,

like, he's responsible for a lot of women dying with his penis. Directly or indirectly sometimes. Yes, it's one of those things where there's like, there might even be more of a 50% chance that if Bond has sex with you, before the final girl, you're going to die. And in Goldfinger, she ends up getting, they panner with gold paint and she suffocates or something like that because her skin suffocates.

Always a very weird way that they go out too. Yeah. But that's, I mean, that's one of, from the Connery time frame, the Connery, or I think that's probably the best one. Can we take a bathroom break before you get delays me? Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay, before we get out of Connery, I do want to say what I believe Connery, what do you think Connery like,

the most memorable thing out of his era was. I feel like after I say mine, then you're going to say, I think it's got to be the Aston Martin. Yeah. His, again, part of the Bond formula is Bond always has the coolest cars. It's debatable for some of the Bronson ones,

or Brosnan ones, but it, the Aston Martin is just so classic to Bond. And Bond's had a bunch of different cars that he's driven. He's gone out of the way. He's driven lotuses. He's driven BMWs. He's strayed a little bit.

I want to say there was an American car in there somewhere. It might have been a Mustang, like a Mach 1 or something. I want to say it was Roger Moore's time. Ooh. I'll have to look into that. But the cool Bond car is just as big of a staples as anything else in Bond's character. I think that is from the get-go. Or maybe it might have been from,

Goldfinger because that's where you saw the introduction of that Ashton Martin. It was the DB, oh, which one was it? Is it DB3? DB5. DB5. And that one is, no, it's not the DP5. Which one is the? Ashton Martin's for me, by the time we do that... It is the DB5, yeah. At the time we do the first anniversary episode and we start getting paid like 100,000 an episode to do this. I'm going to be an Aston Martin guy, I think.

Yes, I will always have this. Loved Aston Morton. I will come back and have a DB5 just because it's been the car, I think, that despite what's come and gone, as far as like, everyone had that gone in 60 seconds time where they're like, I want that fucking Eleanor

and everything, but then looking back on it, seeing, you know, that Aston Martin, especially with all like the ejector seed, the bulletproof shield that came out of the back, the machine guns, behind the headlights and everything. No one had ever seen that before. And you're like, fucking spies get this?

And from that point on in Goldfinger, it kind of like was trying to not always in a good way one up each other, you know, throughout the movies to see what else we could put in these cars. And then like you said, it got to the point during the Brosnan days where it just like, that was definitely jumping the shark type territory. And they were BMWs and they just weren't that cool.

They didn't get used right. the whole thing with the BMD, that was during the early Brosnan time because that was his car in the, um, in GoldenE. He had the Z3. Is that the coop? Yeah. Okay. And the Z3 is undoubtedly the coolest BMW that he drove.

He didn't do anything with it that movie. Q introduced it. He's like, you got Stinger missiles behind the, uh, headlights and everything. The only time he drives it is somehow they shipped the car to like Cuba or wherever. and he drives it with the chick to like the airstrip where that dude lands, uh, Jack Wade or whatever, which did you know that the guy that plays Jack Wade and Golden I was also a bad guy in,

um, the living daylights. Was he? Yes. They usually take other bad guys or bad guy personas and kind of put them on some of their bad guys. It was the first, it was the first Timothy Dalton movie.

He plays like a general of some country or something like that. Huh. It was like an arms dealer. Interesting. but okay so he didn't get to use anything the other guy drove it almost as much as bond drove it when he was driving it away from the airfield it was it had to have been BMW just backed up the brink's truck it was the three three first rosson movies the second one was the four door BMW it was like a 320 i or

something like that just not a good BMW what do you don't that's not a spy car bond doesn't drive a four door car he no doesn't have a family unless he he's going incognito or he's trying to hide out and not be bond, Ford or four door car makes it or four, yeah, just, it just blows my mind that that was the movie. That's why I think BMW just had to have paid a billion dollars for that sponsorship.

That one was, yeah, it was a 750 IL. Oh. And the big thing about that one was it had, so Q gives it to him, and it has like a Nokia, he gives him like a Nokia phone with it.

Oh, that was one of the first ones that people saw like, No, that wasn't the first one that people saw with a phone in a car, but it was kind of like the first cell phone, right? That was back during the, that was during like Connery time where he could talk. But what it was is it wasn't like a phone. It was like the speaker built into the car and he could communicate with like in my phone. Pretty much.

But yeah, so the second Brosnan movie, he has that BMW. And then really the only thing about that, actually that did have a lot of stuff. It had like bulletproof windows. It had roof mounted missiles, tire spikes. But he sat in the back seat and was down out of danger and was steering it with the Nokia phone. It like flipped open and he could steer it by that. But even that one was short-lived. He used it for like one chase scene through a parking garage and then ended up jumping it like out of the parking garage and into like the rental car return place.

All these references, if you haven't seen these movies, all these references sound like hyperbole. but this is just shit that happened. If you're listening, this chances are you've seen these movies. And then the last one was the BMWs, the Z8. It's supposed to be like the new Z3 or whatever. And the only thing that I think he used that for in the movie was

he took it to, do you remember die another day? Or no, no, the world is not enough. That's one with Denise Richards. Okay. Yes. Yes. The only thing he really used out of that,

I think he might have fired a rocket. to take down a helicopter and then it had this thing that popped out at the BMW logo on the front that was basically like a wire cutter and he used it to cut a wire or something but I'm like how fucking that wire has to be in that exact fucking like what situation are you going to be in like you're looking ahead and they're like setting a trip wire across somebody he's like can you like raise that like another six inches and then just be there to raise it or lower it again once I get close because I have this thing on here or is there just like a A generic traditional, like a trip wire is always 18 inches off the ground.

Yeah, that's, that's normally where they put it. But so, yeah, and other than that, I mean, he's had different cars throughout the years, but just recently, I think in the fourth Brosnan movie, they brought back and they went back to the Aston. They didn't even do it right, though. They fucked up their one chance to come back to the Aston Martin by just making it ridiculous. It might be the worst scene in any Bond movie for me.

I mean, if we're getting into the best bond cars, it's got to be that DB5, even the most memorable one. The one, and then he just gets into, in the Daniel Craig Bond, the newer ones, he has the Asin Martin, but it's not, like, loaded with all the gadgets and shit. It's like bulletproof glass,

reinflatable tires, like punctureproof tires. Other than that, his old DB5, the one that he uses in Skyfall, has more technology. has more weapons and technology on it. That one has like all of the golden or all of the gold finger stuff. Well, and we'll get to it when we talk about Daniel Craig's era,

but it just turns so much more into like modern day realities. My comparison for it is the Roger Moore era that we're going to get to here after Laysenby. He's the Adam West Batman era. If you're going to compare it to something, he would be the Adam West TV. It's disrespectful, but I know what you're saying. Like, holy, holy bananas Batman.

It's disrespectful to Roger Moore, but I get it. Okay, but what I'm saying is the Craig version is like the Nolan movies. Yeah. They got rid of a lot of fluff and everything like that. But when they started using the Aston Martens, die another day aside, that's, I mean, those are my favorite cars by a long shot. Yeah, my favorite one, I'll call it second favorite because, The first favorite is just incredible. But Casino Royale, it's the 2006, the DBS V12, Aston Martin.

It's one of the sexiest cars that has just ever existed. That one? Yeah. It's just incredible. It's so good. But the best one that he ever had, even this is gadget-wise, this would be like my favorite gadget too, is the Lotus, I think it's an Espray. the spree and the spy who loved me

the one that turns into the submarine and that's a good car chase too leading that to where they jump off you think that's the best car chase okay we're gonna get to this yeah do yes that one was awesome the way it turned into

you're like of course that car turns into a fucking submarine once you see it as a submarine you're like that is that is that a submarine that actually turns into a car did they just make this in that way yes that was

that one's awesome Lotus got a couple couple cars in there. I think they had an East Spirit in another one. I think it was in a spree and then it was a... E-Spirit Turbo and that was in for your eyes only. Lotus again is just another beautiful

car maker. They're so small and so tiny but they're just so great. So going to what you're saying he did use a Ford Mustang Mach 1 if that was Sean Connery and Diamonds Are Forever which again I don't know if that counts then because Diamonds or Forever wasn't one of the Eon.

productions he used a ooh apparently Laysenby used a oh she his wife on her majesty secret service

moving into Lays and B drove a Mercury Cougar and then at some point he drove and you only live twice a Toyota 2000 GT that does not look like a Toyota that looks like a little British car

that's pretty cool looking that's I think what they were going for because there's a lot of like the Z3 that kind of of was like its own advertisement was it was a bond car i i fully support what you said about them throwing a ton of money in bmw 100% um what was funny is in dr no the car that he had in his chase remember i sent you the picture of the chase where it's literally the camera mounted on the

hood and then it's just like the black and white screen of a car going behind him that car he was driving was called a sunbeam alpine series two so i guess they didn't think that one was cool enough because they'd bring in two movies later. In Goldfinger, they were like, let's just give this guy a badass fucking car. That became essentially one of the most iconic cars in modern cinema. And a lot of them, it's kind of odd to think cause and effect, but a lot of the cars, like BMW had a very large glow up after Bond.

After it became the Bond car, it was just crazy marketing. Oh, yeah. So I wonder if maybe during Dr. No's time in 62 or whenever it was, like Sunbeam was a hot car of the time. Like it was the car you wanted to be in. Maybe in Britain too. And then when they started leaning in, I was going to say,

because Aston Martin is strictly British. Yeah. So they wanted to lean into that. There's no better card than to do that. So what do we get with Laysenby, who only gets one, one shot? Majesty's Secret Service. He is the most,

I don't know, man. He just like, I don't, I think it's because I never really took time to watch that, that movie, because he only had one shot at it and everything. He just, he's not bond to me. Well, and he fucked it up because after Her Majesty's Secret Service, he kind of, like, I think he bought a boat and went and sailed around the world and, like, didn't want to come back and fulfill the rest of his contractual obligations. It wasn't that he didn't play a decent bond in Her Majesty's Secret Service. it was like he thought that there wasn't a future in the franchise so he didn't want to waste his time with it. And it was a big mistake. Not a good move.

Big mistake. Oh, God, why did I do that? But coming into being the second bond, you kind of had to adjust your thought process of what bond was. Because it was pretty clear that going forward, Sean Connery is just too old. It just, it wasn't going to work. And you, and the thing is, too, you're replacing Sean Connery, like, you're not going to out Sean Connery, Sean Connery. You have to find another way to play this character while keeping it the same character while having people to your continuity of all the quirks, but a different person.

See, and here's the thing too is I wonder, you know, Lays and B was probably lined up to try to do a couple different movies. And like you said, that broke down. I wonder if the reason that who was your bond when you first watched Bond? Because I think everyone has... Everybody has a bond, but I think there's also favorite bonds, too, because my bond's always going to be Pierce Brosnan. Okay. It was always...

I think Gold Knight was my first one. I'm glad you phrased it like that, that everyone has their bond, but then has their favorite bond. So like... Pierce will always be my bond as far as the guy that popped my chair. He was the first bond that I saw. But George, or Roger Moore is, he's just my bond. So he's your favorite.

He's my favorite. See, Roger is mine. default, because that's whose movies I grew up on when I was little, and then my favorite is Craig. Yeah, and again, that's not to diminish any of these besides maybe Lays and B, but I think I have only seen parts of Her Majesty's Secret Service. But that's the only Bond movie, I think, where he has a happy ending, because he gets married or something. Not so happy, because that'll play into the fanfic kind of aspect that we were talking about.

Okay. But, yeah, Brausman, he was my first bond. He'll always be, like, seeing him, he looks like bond to me. He sounds like bond to me. He's just the prototypical, like, old man. I talk to this. If we're going to build our own bond or build our perfect bond, it's, it's Brosnan's voice.

He's just the Englishman's Englishman. Yes. He cleans up so nice. But Roger Moore is just, I'm just more of a, I lean towards the funnier, more absurd shit. The camp. Yeah. Yeah. You like your bond campy.

There's, that's the thing about bond. There's some, there's an error for everybody. Some are shorter than others. Like if you, here's the thing is I think people fall into different camps for different reasons. Like, it's like Westerns. You have people that like love John Wayne. You have people that are like, nah, I like clinics would better.

And then you have people that, I don't know if there's really anyone to move in after that. But. But some, yeah, maybe even something like that. But you have people that are like, the John Wayne is basically your Sean Connery. and then you had someone else at some point that might have been Clint Eastwood. Clinties Wood is definitely not the comparison to Roger Moore, but I'm saying you get different

like, different like eras that people are bigger fans of because the to- Three amigos might be more fitting for Rodney's that's actually, yeah. That's a little bit. And then you have like tombstone for like Daniel Craig or for like Pierce Brosnan. Yeah, Daniel Craig is by far away the realist bond.

That's like no country for old men type shit. Daniel Craig's James Bond is like the slightest step away out of reality. Yes. He just, he feels like you feel everything. There's not the quirky gadgets and there's not that he gets sexism and like. Like up to a certain point,

Bond did not get hurt. No. And these were old men that had to adapt their fighting styles later on in their careers because they literally couldn't do like simple fights. So, so with George Lazenby only having one movie. So what's, what's this theory that you're talking about?

It makes total sense to me. And it's kind of the theory of how Bond may not be like a singular human, but like 007 is a rank. Like a moniker. Yeah, a moniker that can be interchangeable with other characters. And in Her Majesty's Secret Service, it's the only Bond film where James Bond actually gets married. And at the end of the film, his wife gets shot and killed. And so that, to me, feels like the way and the way that it's described in, I don't know, if it's fanfic or the theory or whatever.

But that's the Lazy's B bond stepping away from MI6 and the 007 role in order to introduce Roger Moore coming in. Yeah. Because it's like the person that Lays and B was as double seven. I 100% by this. Yeah, it just, it makes so much sense. It makes sense for the entire franchise because the only, okay, so I did hear stuff on this. The only time that this doesn't make sense is.

is when Bond recognizes gadgets from a previous Bond's era or something like that. But that can be easily explained of just being like, no, I read through like my predecessor's records for missions to see kind of like if there's anyone heard of like, because here's the thing too is yes, you do have different actors changing roles. You have a lot of these stories that the, even the current movies, some of the more current movies are based on they have to update them for like now, you know, the times now. But if, okay, first of all, it makes total sense because why the fuck are you traveling around the world to all these super villains giving out your real goddamn name? First of all, ridiculous.

You're a part of a spy agency, but every city you go into, they always know that you're there. The first thing, it's like fight club. They're like spy club. What's the number one rule spy club? Don't use your fucking real name. What's the number two rule? Don't use her fucking real name. So, but I think also because you only get up to like, from what I've seen, 009, there's a,

a scene that makes no fucking sense in the living daylights. What's the other Timothy Dalton one called? It's a living daylights and, God damn it. They're not memorable. This is why. Oh, license to kill. God damn it, that's a good,

that shouldn't have been a Timothy Dalton one. They could have used that in so many different ways. But it takes place when four double O's, are trying to parachute and infiltrate the Rock of Gibraltar as part of a training exercise. And one of them ends up turning on all of them. And I don't know what the explanation for it. I don't think, I think it's this weird intro that there's no explanation for it. They're just doing some weird set piece on the Rock of Gibraltar.

I think this might be as far as like, unbelievableity for actual stunts. I think this may beat Moonraker. Because there's a point when they parachute down. And then Timothy Dalton's bond like jumps onto the top of like the Jeep. They're driving down the Rock of Gibraltar. I know it's huge. They're driving down the fucking Rock of Gibraltar in this opening scene for like three minutes. Going downhill the whole way.

Rodgerbaltri the ballter ain't that big. Yes. Here's what I'm getting at. It gets to the point where, of course, the explosives that are in the back of the Jeep, they just so happen to get into are on fire and about really explode. The vehicle, Bond's still wearing his parachute that he somehow repacked at this point or some shit. He's Bond. Mm-hmm.

And he's in the vehicle with the guy. And as they jump off the side of the road, apparently 500 yards out over the water, Bon pulls his shoot. It pulls him out of the back of the vehicle. And then, of course, it explodes before it hits the water. The next shot is this woman on a yacht being like, there are no manly men.

I'm not even shit in you, dude. And she's like, I can't find anyone that's a real, man. Aren't there any real men around? And then all of a sudden, Bond lands like on the top of the pergola or whatever the fuck it is covering the sun deck. Your lips to God's ears. But when it goes to Bond's view when he first pulls his parachute, he's literally like 300 feet above this yacht. Like he was that high off the fucking, like he gained altitude. And he's way out in the fucking water. Yeah, and he's way out in the water. And so he ends up dropping into the boat. And she's on the phone. He's like, I need to borrow this.

and hands it to her and calls and he's like universal exports you know how they always use that as the phone and he's like 007 and need to be debriefed in an hour and then she looks at him and she's like champagne and goes to hand to him he's like better make it two hours

and they fucking go into the goes into the music but just from that like standpoint I don't even know where I was getting at with this but just the ridiculousness yeah yeah I

I'm not sure how we got there but it's just anything, even if you haven't seen all the Bond movies, anything that you hear from movies you haven't seen, she's like, sure, no matter how absurd it is, like, yeah, that, there are so many movie tropes that borrow from James Bond. Any spy movie you have ever seen, espionage movie, anything like that. There's not only been those, but like parodies,

they will all make some type of reference, whether it's the gadgets, stuff undercover. Like, Bond movies were the first times you ever saw, like, there's a fucking silencer that goes, on these fucking guns. Like, what the, that's the fucking most spy shit I've ever seen. You can see

so many different movies in your head of the parachute being the reason that they exit a vehicle. It's just, it's so strictly bond. I think, sorry,

where I was getting that with the Timothy Dalton movie is we were talking about how James Bond would be like a moniker. Yeah. But like, I'm saying,

like, changing between so many different types of character like that, it makes perfect sense that like at some point you would retire and then not use your fucking real name

and you would pick up this identity and then other bonds that's also why maybe he didn't get recognized because I'm sorry but if you're foiling this many evil fucking villains world dominated plots your name's going to get around to the super villain community. They're going to know you yes and anytime that they see you or see

your name they're going to be like I know that guy but when you show up in your James Bond and he's like that's not James Bond see it's working you're telling me that odd job just only worked for Goldfinger no he he was around oh he died Yeah, but before Goldfair,

he had a network of bad guys which... It's all interconnected. Yeah, we'll get to the bond bad guys because there have been some tremendous ones, but just to wrap Lazy's and B up so we can get into the main attraction.

He was fine, I think. A one movie run isn't really enough because Connery in the beginning wasn't great. Roger Moore in the beginning wasn't great. They had to work their way in.

A lot of people are, a lot of people can name most of the bonds, but when you say George Lazy-Bee, who's that? Quick, yeah. We spent more time on them than most people would. Yes. All right. Oh, it's your time, baby.

All right. The next era of Bond is the era in which I grew up. Now, kind of looking back on it, I was probably provided access to these movies, and these movies were on in my household when I was probably too young to really, should have been watching these movies. Were they PG back then?

Roger Moore's were usually PG-13. Most of them were all PG-13. My first swear word, not even kidding, was from a Sean Connery Bond movie where he says, holy shit. He's like, holy shit. And I said, holy shit. And I got in trouble for it.

Did you, were you saying it like that, or were you saying it normally? I think I said it normally. I tried to repeat it normally. It would be like, man, that's not a swear word. When he said it, it sounded completely different. Yeah. Oh, and before we get into Roger Morris,

sorry. after George Lazy's B, Sean Connery came back for another movie called Diamonds Are Forever and then he was done after that. And even then, again, he was getting older and everything, which isn't even going to be the top of that because there will come a point when Sean Connery goes to play

James Bond again. Yeah, that's the weird one. And that's, yes, that's a very, that's a very weird one. Roger Moore, how old was Roger Moore when he got into that role? I he he wasn't a young man it's never they always seem to like try to find these guys at their youngest but do you say they try well I think like to fit the character and I don't know if that's intentional or just what we've seen but you don't see like a young spry bond in his 20s ever there's not until we got to Craig yeah uh and Dalton Dalton did some stuff and okay we're going to get more toward that after more because I think they do compensating say for that. They're like, we need someone that doesn't have to just fucking karate chop somebody

with one shot. That's the extent of their fighting. Yeah, the Adam West karate chop. That was a very astute comparison. And I'm not saying that in a bad way. It's fun to watch that sometimes. And that's Roger Moore, like I say, he's, he produces so much more of like a circus act to it. He brings a little bit of levity to the character because Connery was fairly serious. Yes, very Oh, very. And so he brought sort of a different spin on it with Roger Moore. And Roger Moore has some of the most absurd movies that are a part of the franchise. Like, it's just the absurdity of some of the shit that he gets away with.

Like, Moon Raker, like I've said multiple times, it's my favorite Bond movie. And it's because it's just the most absurd thing that's ever been made, I think. We're going to get to Moonraker. Let's start because that was when I think that that was at the tail end of Roger Moore's tenure and everything, which makes it even better because you can see where they were having to go ahead and compensate for his age. Roger Moore was 45 when he began playing Bond and Live and Let Die. Live and Let Die is, I don't know if it's the movie I've probably seen the most out of his Bond movies, but I think it might be up there. the song to do with the so yeah i was going to say the song paul mccartney on that is just

you still hear on the radio today that's that popular of a song like you don't even hear that like adele skyfall song anymore that thing won like a grammy or some shit but i mean the whole point like there's a i don't know how you feel about your bond intros and everything but there's a

old ones there's a there was a formula too not only to the movies but like to the intros. And he always had like the silhouettes of like naked women dancing. It was supposed to be like trippy and colorful and all this kind of stuff. I don't know if they, some of them started to try to tell the story of like what the plot or like have Bond in danger like the silhouette,

but a lot of it had guns had like the Walther PPP K coming up and like firing shots out of it. Bond's second gun. Yes. But I think most famous gun. The Walther PPP is the gun that's synonymous with Bond. but it actually got replaced in Dr. No, he was carrying around a...

It was a barretta, wasn't it? A barretta. Yep, he started carrying around a barretta. And so I think they ended up saying that the barretta didn't have enough stopping power or something like that. It was a woman's gun. It was a woman's gun meant to be carried in a handbag or something.

And then he still tries to sneak it out of the office. He's like, Bond, you can leave the barretta. He just hands it to Moneypenny. Roger Moore. Man, I like the fact that he's your favorite bond and the one that I grew up with. Just because I can talk about, like, how he looked then and how he looked when I go back and watch the movies. But, yeah, like you were saying, they had so much camp that I think that's also why it made it. I'm not saying it was right to show a child those movies, but why a parent could feel justified in being like, hey, he's dressed up as a clown in one of these movies.

And you're like, just ignore the fact that there's this giant gargantuan man with, like, fucking metal teeth that'll give your. good fucking nightmares. And later on, speaking of the man Jaws, comes one of the most, or he becomes one of the most beloved, maybe this is showing the movies that I should have seen at the young age. He's one of my most beloved, like, childhood, funny, ancillary characters. Yes. Him being the former construction manager.

Mr. Larson. Mr. Larson of Happy Gilmore. Like, he's just the man in that movie. And it's so weird to know that. he was still like around and kicking and doing things when Gilmore came out. He just, Jaws is my favorite bad guy too. He's just,

he's so goofy and stupid and dofy. Can you say henchman? Are you saying he's your favorite Bond villain or are you just saying maybe henchman? Hinchman. Yeah. Bon villain. I think you'll know when we get to him.

But he just, Jaws is like the epitome of just the bad guy to me. I think it was his first appearance when he was biting people in the neck to kill them Because of his metal jaw Yeah, he tried that was the spy who loved me So that's when he made the appearance in the spy who loved me And he was like yeah

More brutal Oh yeah During that like he killed a shark Like he was definitely like formidable But in my 1-1 You gotta wonder Is it just the teeth Because Roger Moore kicks him in the bean bag

Oh you get a metal clang out of that Yeah Yeah. So is it like everything under Jaws' clothes is also metal two? Is it to him to have metal teeth and a metal penis? I feel like we need a young Jaws movie. Yeah. To find out the, The Jaws origin story?

Yes. And then for as bad as he was, at the end of Moonraker, he just runs off with another. And then he talks. Yeah. And he sounds like an intelligent, like, well-spoken, like, well, what does he say to that girl? He's handing her like champagne and he's like, for you, my love, or something like that. Something like that, yeah. But I mean

Levin Led Die really set kind of the stage for how Roger Moore's like tender of Bond was going to go. He was already 45 and everything. So you had this, the fights were always like him blocking. And it was a lot of like what you could like judo or like, you were meant to believe like as a fighter. Connery was like a brawler.

Like he could go just like, he was like, I'll go fish to cuff with you and like, you know, the knuckles out and everything. I'm having name stupidity here. bad martial artist with the ponytail. Steven Seagall. He was like the Seagal Bond.

Yes. Like he was, when you watch his... As an older man. Yeah. As an older white man. He was whatever Seagall's judo is or whatever he does. Like that was what he was trained in. There's a lot of weird blocks.

There was a lot of bad throws. Like it just wasn't... You can tell he wasn't doing any of his own stunts. And they come right out of the gate firing. They go with a, you know, Caribbean dictator Dr. Cananga. They bring in voodoo, you know, tarot cards, the, you know, mystic type stuff. Yeah, not a bad movie. No, I mean, but like, they weren't even, they were just like,

we got to go big and something different. Can't just fight the Russians. All the time, they're like, well, what about like black voodoo priests? And they're like, I like it, keep going. And then we just have Bond karate chop a bunch of guys, like perfect. And then we're going to throw in this guy named Sheriff J. W. Pepper. Oh, J. W. Pepper. Who's the Louisiana fucking state police during a Bayou boat chase. Yeah, he gets introduced in the boat, the boat chase, isn't it?

He's fucking like, he's boss hog. He's like, I do declare these boys are out of here, swap boat racing. I don't think J.W. made his way into the books. I don't think that was a Fleming thing. No. But. And then you almost feel like, you're like, well,

fuck, does that what like the British think of us? Like, when they were watching it, or the British watching that, being like, that's America. Yeah. Whenever somebody in America will watch it, like, oh, shit, there's another Louisiana Southerner. And then when people in Britain watch it, they're like, that could be anywhere in America. Oh, yeah.

That's all America is. It's just swamps for boat racing and then voodoo priests. That could be a guy from Washington. Then they followed up with the man with the golden gun, probably one of the most iconic movies. Weirdly enough, though, it's just this weird cat and mouse. Like, he's not really. like an overarching villain. He's just trying to like kind of kill Bond.

Yeah, he didn't really have any plans for world domination. It was just, he was just hired or was trying to kill Bond or something like that. Christopher Lee, the guy that played Saramon in Lord of the Rings and everything. He is the guy that played Scaramanga. Really? Yeah. He's also one of the only people, the only cast of Lord of the Rings to actually have met J.R. Tolkien. He was also a spy in World War II. and a little fun fact for you during Lord of the Rings production his character gets stabbed in the back and he makes this noise and they cut Peter Jackson is like

I don't that would seem kind of like overdoing I don't think a man would sound like that when he got stabbed in the back he's like have you ever stabbed a man in the back Peter Jackson's like no he's like I stabbed a man in the back in World War II to kill me he's like that's what they sound like

Peter Jackson was like fair enough Hard to argue that. Also, one of the most memorable things where you still get callbacks to it. De plane, boss, de plane. You get tattoo, a little tiny guy. Yeah. You always think Fantasy Island. That's exactly.

That's where you get it. Yeah. But he was the guy that kind of like ran Scaremugg's Island. I love when they show him running around to like the control panels and he has to jump up onto like the high chair and like reach across to do shit. There again, just wild, blatant. Just stereotyping. No fucks giving. And that's going to be a common theme throughout a lot of these. You got to laugh at it because of the absurdity.

Because it's just, it's just like you say with everything else, just like, yeah, that's Bond. You get the spy who loved me. This one is, I love this movie, actually. I just love the plot of it. You get like this ship. It was like peak, like it was, it got more ridiculous in Moonraker. But this was leading toward it. You had like an oil tanker ship that could open up.

and like track nuclear subs and like capture it. They want to capture one of them, the Soviets, the United States, make each other seem like they're going to war, launching their missiles. And then it's all as this set up for a plan by, fuck, what's the bad guy's name? It is, oh, God damn it. Oh, what is his name?

I'm going to draw a blink on this. Do, do, do. Oh, Carl Stromberg. He's like a shipping tycoon. So basically he's trying to design. an underwater society where he'll basically bring in all it's a noz arc type shit he's bringing in people that can rebuild society and everything in his own image and he was going to wait for all the nuclear war to happen and everything stromberg had a very like uh pure race kind of feel

to him didn't he oh yeah and that's going to continue right that's the plot of moonraker that's that's that's got to be fleming's influence because you're talking about sort of naziish you're gonna go you're going to write what you know yeah And like what, who the bad guys are. So I truly believe that that is a full on, like, legitimate Fleming influence of what he knew as far as from where he was. Oh, definitely. So, yeah. And just the set pieces of that movie were awesome, like the underwater base that rose up and everything.

That's where you got, Jaws was introduced as the henchman. And he was introduced in that tremendous, uh, driving scene, right? I'm trying to remember. Because it was, in that scene, he first, because he first, they get trapped by the motorcycle. And then the helicopter comes in. It was the motorcycle first. And then it was. The lotus, right?

Yeah. Okay. The lotus of spree. Yeah. And Jaws comes up. Jaws ends up firing all of his bullets out of his gun. And then he drives up to the other henchman that's following him and yanks the gun out of his hand and start shooting. And then after they get rid of Jaws, then the helicopter comes in.

That's right. jump off, turn it into the submarine, and then it has the little rocket launcher that launches out of the top. That's right. Fantastic movie. But again, we're getting into like more of the ridiculousness,

but that's what starts making it more fun, especially growing up like as a kid and everything. Again, I think his body count for, and all of these movies end with the same thing. And they've done it up until I think really the, up until the Craig movies. Oh, yeah. The movie ends with,

Bond sleeping with whatever the the Bond girl of the movie ends up happening and usually they are in an escape pod or something like that and then they're discovered by like their superiors who have like teamed up and if they're like one's working for in this movie one was working for the Russians or something like that she was like agent double X and I remember in the scene they get him out of the escape pod and they're like already having sex yeah and he's like double oh seven he's like triple X He just pulls the curtain back. He's like, we're banging.

All right. Now we get to, I think, what is, it's one of the fucking craziest. I don't think it's the worst. I think it's the most fucking ridiculous, bat shit crazy bond. And that's why it's so fun is Moonraker. It's the most absurd bond, but it's far from the worst. This, did you know there was another movie lined up prior to Moonraker coming out? I think it was for your eyes only.

And they were trying to. capitalize off of the popularity of Star Wars. So they're like, we gotta, we gotta do space is a big thing right now. We gotta send bond to space. And just the stuff in this movie, like from the start of it where... This just makes me so happy to talk about the start of the movie when he's up in the plane. Actually, no, because the start of the movie is when they're transporting the spaceship on top of the jet? Yes, which is real.

Yeah, which is how they do it. But these two like mute secret agents are already in the space shuttle. Yeah, they somehow snuck aboard the space shuttle. Inside the giant rolling bunks, they just pulled up the sheets and were just able to... So,

so, and it's like apparently at a time when we just loan our space shuttles to like other countries because like the British would have the space shudder. They're like, we're returning it to the Americans. Like they had to have the space shuttle for some reason. And, yeah, like you're saying, these two mutes end up hijacking, getting into the cockpit of the shuttle.

The shuttle's fueled. Yeah. And there's no fail safes to keep this thing from going. It's good to take off. And basically fly the shuttle off of the fucking plane, destroying the plane. While somehow landing the space shuttle. Yeah. In parts unknown.

They got it back. Now we pan to, again, the ultimate just. where you first get introduced to Bond in every movie. They're buttoning themselves back up on a private jet after he'd just hump the stewardess. This is not a big plane. No, very small plane. It's like a five-seater.

A lot of folks on this plane for it to be that small. Here's my question. So after he gets done banging this chick, who's obviously working for the bad guy. Oh, yeah. The pilot then comes out, holds him at gunpoint. I guess the thing here is you get him undress, getting him with his guard down.

he just banged he's in his refractory period he's he's at his most vulnerable yeah he's sleepy besides his vinegar strokes he's ready for a sandwich and a nap so everyone's putting on parachutes he gets in a fight with the cap or whoever was flying the plane guy with the gun the door ends up opening and as they're wrestling by the door jaws somehow the largest man in the entire series quite possibly the world at this point besides andre the giant is hiding in this very very very small plane and this is mr larsen from happy gilman's this guy's like seven feet tall he somehow sneaks up behind them like crouched down and shoves them out of the plane he's already wearing a parachute and everything so bond isn't though no no no yeah the pilot that he's fighting with so he's still fighting with him in the air ends up fighting him off getting the parachute off of him kicks that guy away then as roger more gets the parachute on he's got jaws skydive chasing him grabs him like tries to bite his leg and then bond pulls his shoot and gets away. And then Jaws goes to rip his shoot and ends up tearing the fucking rope off of it. Yep. Because he's just a big dumb oath. Yep. And then he ends up which had did you look at the actors when

they were doing the skydiving scene? Yeah. Like the most obvious like stump people. Of course you're not going to have your actors doing this, but like no, Jaws was like three different heights. Yes. He grew and shrunk. And you could just see like a mouthpiece of metal. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know if it was the altitude that made him shrink or what. Yeah. He was definitely change in sizes. So Jaws falls from a flight height, a plane, and into a conveniently placed circus tent.

Before falling into the conveniently play circus tent, he starts to flap his wings. Yes. Like a bird. Like a big giant man bird. Like looney tune style. Yeah, flapping his wing. And the only thing missing was the sound of like the dula, yeah. And then that leads right into the circus

music that they play as he crashes through the circus tent. Yes. Moon Raker, which is just a version of Goldfinger. It was the same woman that was singing it, I think. They really phoned it in on the Moonhacker song.

There was a woman that sang three different Bond songs. I think it was Goldfinger, Moonraker, and then one in between or something. But yeah, Jaws is fine. After that. Yeah, we'll get back to him

making a reappearance here, but... So we enter what essentially the plot of the movie is this guy who is a, somehow like a tycoon or something, um, supplies all of the world

space shuttles at a time when there wasn't even a space shuttle known to the world, which that's a crazy fact. Did we already talk about that? Yeah, this was before the NASA launch of the space shuttle. And the space shuttle looked exactly like it. NASA had actually allowed the prop designer whatever to see the space shuttle. They were going to actually release like the space shuttle, what it looked like as part of like the movie promo and stuff.

And be like, this is what it really looks like. space shuttle and veil got pushed back and so this movie was actually inadvertently and then you had people being like did they fucking design our space vehicle off the moonraker did roder more have anything to do with this? Yeah so

this guy apparently his entire industry is based off of like making space shuttles he's got this insane factory yeah and the factory it just makes zero sense yes it has things in there like it has a G test or whatever He was training all zone astronauts.

Yeah. Listen. This is the beauty of Moonraker is it doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah. And that's the brilliance of it. Drax is the villain. He flies out to Drags. Hugo Drax.

Hugo Drax. Yeah, flies out to his space shuttle building, which I think is in Los Angeles or somewhere like that. He has places all over the world. Oh, I thought it was back stateside where he goes and meets Drax. Oh, no, it is. It's like San Francisco. It's supposed to be, or Los Angeles. I think you're right.

It's like supposed to be LA. And then they show that scene of them flying over it. And it looks like a goddamn, just like an enormous thing you've ever seen. Yes. It looks like a goddamn Lockheed Martin factory. And then somehow he gets all of his space shuttles in secret down to like his secret space shuttle launching facility in Brazil hidden in the jungle. Doesn't make any sense. No.

Which this, this movie's just made to not make sense. So my favorite, well, do we want to talk about the centrifuge just? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I was getting ready to get to. So the first, um, I'm trying to think, does Bond hook up with anybody? He hooks up with the stewardess.

Not, he hooks up with the stewardess. He gets flown. They were stewardesses at that time. Yeah, they're stewardess. We're trying to keep accuracy. Very appropriate. Yeah. Then he ends up meeting up with a super hot helicopter pilot.

That's what I was going to say. So that's the next one. And that's Drax is supposed to be his hench woman. So we're getting into this trope. He ends up like hooking up with her, turning her somehow and getting her to like sneak into Drix's room. Not yet, though. Not before the centerfuge incident.

That's right. So prior to that, he has a contact he's supposed to go meet at Drax's company, Dr. H. Goodhead. Just an astounding creative last name. Yeah. Yep. And he goes into like the lab and everything. And he's like, I'm here to see Dr. H. Goodhead. And this woman's like, Holly Goodhead.

And he's like, a woman. Just the most sexist reaction that you would ever see. He's like, a woman. Like, women could be doctors? Like, get the fuck out of here. Just the simple fact that, like, it had to just, the movie had to let you know at that point. It's like, Roger Moore is still that fucking misogynist asshole that you've known for the last five movies. In seeing the scene, he could have said nothing.

His eyebrows said everything. The genuine look of surprise, like, it was almost like Roger Moore didn't even know that it was going to be that way and it happened. And it was like a genuine reaction. Yeah. So he finds out that this Dax guy is suspected of, you know, nefarious shit. Takes him all over the world. Oh, okay, the centrifuge part. So they walk him into the astronaut, what you would consider, like the thing that spins to simulate gravity. And Dr. Goodhead is like, do you want to try it?

And he's like, sure, why not? What can go wrong here? Oh, we should probably get to what the gadget that he's been issued prior to this. So he goes back after. Jaws makes his... Circus debut. Yeah, circus debut off the trapeze. Bond heads back to MI6.

He heads back to headquarters. He meets up with Q. Q gives him the most absurd wrist bracelet that you'll just ever see. It was activated by... nerve impulses. Nerve impulses in your wrist. Think of like it's Spidey's web shooters. Yeah.

Except it's fucking enormous. And then it holds one dart. Well, it held, he was given five darts that were armor piercing and five darts that were cyanide tip. But it holds one dart at time. So, I mean, yeah. How are you switching back and forth between the two? And how do you know what to have it loaded with? Yeah, just make them all explosives.

Just something like that. There's a test fire where he shoots the dart into the picture of a horse's ass. It's in M's office. Yeah. Yeah. And M is like, Debo, 2007. Just the most absurd. Just the weird shit.

Like, that's all they ever said to like, Bonn, like, you're. You're incorrigible. Oh, Bond. So, of course, he's wearing this. And so Dr. Goodhead gets him into the centrifuge. And she's telling him she's like, astronauts can take up to like 7 G's. The most they can take is like 13 or 14 or something. And then he has this button, what are they called the chicken switch or something like that?

And it's a button you hold down. And when you want it to stop, you let pressure off the button. Unbeknownst to Dr. Goodhead and James, Dax had enlisted his small Korean This was the guy who was talking about his small Korean Seth Rogan-esque Do you say Seth Rogan-esque? That's what he looks like to me.

He looks like Korean Seth Rogan. But his name is Chang, I believe. And he's dressed in like a kimono. Like it's just the most stereotypical. Yeah. The bull cut kind of. Yes, it's all extremely. The most stereotypical shit ever. I'm just glad he didn't have big teeth.

But he sneaks into the... It is, Chang. Chang? Yeah. Yeah, that seemed like it was fitting for that. Chang's an ambiguous enough name. He just walks into like, so it's a circular room and then it's got like the control room that like has windows that overlook it. He just goes into the control room and like he nudges the guy and he's like, hey, take lunch. Dr. Goodhead at this point also has to take a call back in the laboratory. So she leaves as Roger Moore is loaded up into the centerfuge.

And Chang is at the controls. And Roger Moore can see him. Like you think you'd recognize the haircut Anywhere, anywhere In his defense, it was an Asian guy That was also at the control panel before Not wearing a white shirt Not a blue kimono

So I don't know if there's confusion there And you might be asking, hey, Why is this guy already trying to like Do something bad to bond? So like Drax already knows the bond is there And suspects something And Drax doesn't like He's not one of those villains

That like is really like threatening But he always has really good one-liners. And so he's like, before, like, Dr. Goodhead goes to show him the centrifuge, he's talking to chain. He's like, see that some harm comes to him. He's an ominous man that's got like a poor French accent. Someone said something about him and I can't get out of my head. He looks like a big Peter Dinklage.

Yeah, yeah. Doug Benson said that I think it was. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm glad we listened to that same one. Okay. So he ends up basically He's trying to kill Bond, right? But he's like milking the shit out of this

And really taking his time. So like he starts controlling it. And like after like Dr. Goodhead gets in loaded And she's like, oh, I've got a call from Mr. Drax. I have to go take. So she leaves. Very convenient. Yeah.

And so she ends up leaving. So this guy starts just like very like meticulously just raising the dial to get him. Like not a full crank to like 20 just to fucking kill. him. This is another like the first of the odd trying to kill bonds that just doesn't ever work out. But he's just like cranking it up a little and you get past

seven you're like oh no that's what the astronauts train at and then it starts creeping up and you can see Roger Moore's old ass face kicking fucking like so bad like if you're not trying to show his age why are you trying to do this because you can see all the loose skin like going back. It looked like the

atomic bomb in Indiana Jones Yes. When it goes off and it just sucks everything. But yeah, he looked like he almost like a little bit of more of in home alone too. Like he's almost a skeleton. The face is pulled back very bad. Yes.

So like he ends up getting up to like 10 and he's still trying to be like badass. So then he like let's go the switch and he's pressing the switch and it's not working. Which is there like a switch over? Why is there a switch override? Chang cut the wires. That was the first move before he got into the control center was he cut the wires. Did he did it show him do that? Yeah.

It cut the wires with the chicken switch so it wouldn't work. He disabled it. Okay. And so all of a sudden we get up to like 16 now. Bond is over like the 14 limit that would normally kill people. And he somehow remembers, you know, like a weird flashback. 007 your wrist mounted rocket fucking gun or whatever. And he uses that to like hit something luckily on the inside of the centrifuge.

Perfect fire. Somehow he had the wrist control to fire it. Mm-hmm. It hits something mechanical and just stops it. God. Yeah, just the craziest thing ever. And that's, when Benson says that the Korean Joe, or the Korean Seth Rogan, I went back and watched it and it was just all I could see after that.

And then like, Chang, when he's doing it after like it stops working, he doesn't even like looks out. He's just like, oh. Yeah, it just walks away. Like there was zero care about it. I'll have another chance. He has to go back and report to drags. Yeah.

And as great as that scene is, probably the most badass thing that he does comes next when they go out to the shooting range. Oh, what Bond does? Yeah. It's so obvious that like they're trying to, here's what I don't get. Like in a lot of situations, I think the other thing with the Roger Moore era was that he knew that they were trying to kill him. And he was communicating and like walking with the guy that was trying to kill him. And so there was a known understanding that these guys were trying to kill each other.

Yeah. Yet they were just being weirdly ambiguous about it. It was like chess. Like they were playing chess. So they're walking out and they're getting ready to go on like a pheasant hunt and Bond's not going to go with them. and he's walking with Dax and as they're walking you see this guy climb up into this tree with like a hunting rifle

and Dax is like why don't you give it a shot Mr. Bond I don't know why I'm using like a Because that's what he sounds like Mr. Bond give it a shot And some birds fly up for Bond He takes it misses the birds And then just goes and somehow aims at the guy in the tree and shoots And he's like it appears you missed

He's like did I and the guy falls down dead out of the tree. The dead cypher just falls out of the tree. Like, Drax sees it and he just like doesn't bet and he's just like, oh, farts. Well, and then he hands the gun back to Drex and walks away. Like, if Drax just wanted him dead and it was going to be... He had like 50 other guys out there. He could be like, hey, kill this guy.

Yeah, just turn around a pump one in his back as soon as he turns around. But like you say, it's that understanding of like, we both know that our job is to kill each other, but we're just not going to do it in front of everybody. Yes. And so Bond ends up, like, leaving. And this is where the helicopter pilot that he had previously seduced, Yeah, that's where we missed it was there was the seduction after the G forces where he beds her. He gets information from her and then she comes back to report to drags.

Isn't that where he just like without even talking to her, he just like grabs her like tie and like undresses her? No, he tells her that her services are no longer needed and then he points to the forest and he sends her out to the forest. No, no, I'm saying Bond. Oh. When Bond seduces her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just like wings over on the couch with her and just like literally pulls the tie. to her shirt and he's like, that's gotta go.

Somehow the tie was attached on the clothing. So he ends up like, she ends up taking him into like Drex's room or like office and he finds some information. He takes a picture of the glass manufacturer. That's right. And then as Bonn is leaving this hunt in his car, he basically releases her

onto the woods to run and then has Cheang. Yeah, Drex. And then has Chang chase her down with like fucking dogs and kills her. Yeah, two dogs and she's still dressed to perfection running out in the woods. Like, there wasn't any sort of like knowledge of this and then she just gets off by these dogs. Maybe this goes toward and even even leans more believability to the bond is a different guy.

Because at this point, a bond is supposed to be the same guy. How do you not know that you're getting these women killed? Or maybe you're just leaving these women that you know have turned on these guys and just been like, ah, fend for yourself. So good. So good luck. You made all these choices yourself. So, hey, at what point do you just. start telling these women, so hey, I know we've slept together.

You just might want to, like, leave. My track record states if you're going to stay, you're going to die in some horrible way. If I know anything about me, it's that you're marked for death now. Oh. So we get, oh, we go into Venice now, right? Yep. Yeah, we go into a glass shop in Venice. Somehow he figures out by looking at the picture that he took of the glass company that they were in Venice.

This was forever ago. shows up in Venice goes into the glass shop has an odd conversation with the woman behind the desk who's also dubbed over but she's just insanely hot too She tells him

Receptionists don't look like that Yeah no not at all Maybe in Venice But she tells him to take a look around They make a weird sexual innuendo And then he just walks to the back room Like he walks back into the factory Or the foundry

Like just Venice glass inspector It's one of those bald things we just going to go right to the place where you can't go. But this is also one of the situations where they just go full on stereotype because Chang ends up of course meeting him in the glass shop in not even it's not even using an actual sword. He's using like the wicker training sword and just like tries to kill Bond that way.

And you basically just get this fight that is them kind of like wrestling and just throwing each other against these glass shelves. Yeah. And just trying to break as much shit as possible. and then does he end up killing Chang during this confrontation? I think Chang still lives to go another round. You think Chang does?

Yeah, I think he reports back to drags. And he's wearing like full on like training gear, like with the face mask and everything like that, which ends up getting torn off. And then he's like, Chang, I never would have suspected this was you. Haircut, I mean, Chang. Like, we didn't know that this, who this, it was.

They had to make sure they unmasked him. So basically, he's able to track Drax, find out his plot. He's using like a nerve gas. They don't know what he's going to do with it though. So Bond ends up going back, meeting up with,

it meets up with Q somewhere in like Brazil. Oh, we're not skipping over the gondola. Oh, God, yeah. We're spending a lot of time on this movie and it's just because it's fucking awesome. Like it's, it makes no sense. There's a gondola scene where they're coming like down out of the... Is it in?

Yeah, it's in Venice. It's in a canal. And as he's coming down in his gondola... Oh, this gondola. There's two gondola scenes in this one. Same gondola, I think. No, no, no. There's the gondola that he is in with the water.

Oh, I guess they're in different countries, huh? The two gondola cars. Yeah. Go ahead. He's rolling around in his gondola. You see another gondola come into frame that has a casket sitting on top of it for some odd reason. The casket then opens up to reveal that the top lid of the casket is just littered in knives. And a man sits.

up, the next assassin sits up out of the casket and he has like five knives that show up in front of him. He grabs it. He launches the first one over at Bond. It's a miss. And that time before the man can load up his second knife to throw at Bond, Bond grabs the knife, whips it back to him. Doesn't he kill Bond's guy first? The first knife is he kills Bond's guy, the guy that's pushing him. Yeah, the gondola driver.

Whatever you call. Gondolier. Yeah, gondolier. He kills his gondolier. Roger Moore sends the knife back, kills the guy. He falls back down just perfectly poetically in the casket, and then the casket closes. As that casket closes, they go under like a bridge or something,

and the casket gets kicked off the top of that gondola. Roger Moore is now in his gondola trying to run it himself. Boom. Turns out it's a super high-powered gondola. It's got he sits and he hits a button on the side. One panel flips over and it's got like electronics on it. And then it's actually speedboat. So now he's fucking in a gondola

Huh? Hoverboat too Not yet Not yet So he has this big chase scene In this gondola Where he's like driving it like a speedboat And there's like two other boats

Coming after him in Venice He ends up like losing those guys And then goes up to like Where boats can get out But of course it's a fucking gondola The gondola turns into a fucking hovercraft Who would a guess And looks like a goddamn parade flow

And then he's driving this gondola Through like the streets of Venice And people are just like The fuck And then you get human double taken, you get dogs double taking and you get a bird double taking and it's basically so bad that it's not a bird

double taking it's a bird looking one direction and then they just reverse it so it does like this weird like fucking like 80s rap video of like there almost needs to be a record and an audible record scratch so a lot of a couple of theme here going with boats in this one because after he

finds out he gets out of Venice they find out he's in Brazil or some shit he's got drags has got this hidden base like in the Amazon they send him Bond with another boat speedboat and lo and behold guess what

on his way down on the Amazon he ends up getting jumped by Jaws Who to guess? Jaws is back. Jaws is back in another couple of speedboats that are launching like mortars at him

and they're exploding but of course Bond's boat is equipped with torpedoes mines takes out a few of the pursuing boats and all of a sudden what's that in front of him

it's a waterfall oh no he's in a speedboat what's he gonna do well he unzips like the Bimini top in the boat and everything, it turns into a goddamn paraglider, and he just paraglides himself up over the waterfall out of the boat, which you never see his boat go over, despite like 90% of his boat

still being there on the water. And then as he flies away to safety, you get the fucking comical wot-want with jaws where he's looking at the guy driving his boat, and he goes to grab the wheel to turn it and tears the boat off. Which is the most slastic bullshit that you're, yeah, and then he was almost impressed that he tears the wheel off. And then they just sit there as they're going over it. And it's the worst, like, tiny model with, like, a dummy in it that goes over the fucking water ball. It's like Team America

out there. I'm surprised they didn't dub in his voice going, no. I think they were waiting for the end for him to finally speak, though. Yeah. He just, if the Lotus's spree turning into a submarine after being a car

wasn't absurd enough, you just had a gondola that just turned into a paraglider. It just hang glides off the side, headed straight for the waterfall, just so unnecessarily funny. There is somehow between finding Drax's base, Bonn gets into a situation. I'm not sure if it's before or after this, but there's another gondola chase where they're almost like in the Andes or something. It's like a ski resort. They're snow on top of the mountain. Some place where gondolas just wouldn't be.

Like the big carriage gondolas. And him and Goodhead are coming down in one. and one of the bad guys takes over the control panel and stops it right next to another gondola that has jaws in it. And they get on the roof and basically have to try to fight on the roof and you've got like five foot eight Roger fucking.

At this point Roger Moore is in his 50s. Like probably like 55, 56, is fighting with this giant man on top of a gondola. And he ends up pulling the old move where he grabs his belt and grabs the girl and throws it over the cable and they fucking zip line down the gondola. Like that hasn't been done a million times

Yeah I mean but it's gonna work obviously Yeah every time It's the belt's designed by Q branch at him It's supposed to do stuff like this Richard keel 7 foot 2 There you go Jaws 7 foot 2 So they then take Jaws as gondola

And speed it up to try to catch them Ziplining down it Well then they just pull the old drop off the line Into the very soft meadow apparently That's right underneath the gondola And then Jaws' gondola Can't slow down enough and just crashes Of course he survives

He's Jaws and when he gets up He's made a metal And when he gets up He meets a girl And she's kind of like this Weirdly hot But like stereotypical

What you would think like the nerdy girl Like she's in her like 20s And she's got pig tails And like the big glasses and everything She's been to band camp Oh yeah But then you get the That music that they always use

When two people see each other And like her in love The da la na Nah na na na And they just join hands And like walk away together Without saying anything and then Bond and Goodhead are like sitting watching from like the hillside that they fell on.

They're like, aw, good for them. Just the fucking... Maybe he'll stop trying to fucking murder us. Yeah, maybe that's... Maybe we're safe now. So they end up finding Drax's base and this is an exact ripoff of the previous movie. Drax's whole plan is he's going to... He has all these beautiful women and like all these perfect couples at his base.

And he's going to use them, launch them into space. And then nerve gas, the planet, the nerve gas only affects just humans. It doesn't even affect animals. After everyone's dead, they're going to then come back to Earth and live. And he has like seven fucking space shuttles that he's going to launch in the middle of the Amazon, launches him into space. Thank God. Holly Goodhead is an astronaut, a trained astronaut. And also, we find out earlier a CIA operative.

Yep. Shoot the double agent. So they end up hijacking one of like the last space shuttle to pilot it. They get up into space and find out what. Drax has somehow been able to create an entire floating like space station without anybody knowing what's going on. And you get all of these people docking with the space station. And guess what is the United States is able to do? Within literally minutes as a response team, they found out about these space shuttle launches.

They got a space shuttle on standby too, loaded with space marines. Space Marines, space nangers. Space Nidges. They're headed up. Spacey seals. Yep. This is Space Force before Space Force. Hell yeah.

And let's not forget that we already have space lasers because during one of the scenes when he's walking through K-Branch, they flashed on it for two seconds. It's just like, wham-w-w-w-w-wam, shooting laser beams. So they end up getting up into space. James Bond and Dr. Goodhead get found out. All of a sudden, Drax has given a monologue about how he's going to rebuild the perfect race with all the perfect people. and Bond gives this look to Jaws and he's like, oh, I'm gonna play this guy. He's like, so I guess anyone not fitting your idea

of physical perfection doesn't have a place in a new society. He's like, and like the bad guy can't see Jaws standing right there. And he's like, absolutely not. They wouldn't have a place. And then all of a sudden, Jaws realizes there's not a place for him and his new special lady friend

who somehow gets a free ride up onto the space shuttle despite just having met him. Plus one, very important person. You get to come to the spaceship because I need this big freak up here. So then all of a sudden, Bond and Jaws joined forces and start just wreaking havoc on the

control room like fighting off everybody and at that an opportune time guess what Space Marines show up Laser Space Battle Bedlam made Star Wars look like shit Well do you think that's what it was

Do you think they went to George Lucas and like Hey did you see Bond stuff And he's like yeah I think we'll be okay I think Star Wars had come out already come out before this but when he saw that he was just like yeah they came to us for help but we said no like George do you think this is going to hurt the Star Wars brand

do you think this is more accurate George is like this is fake but that's definitely not more accurate so you got this all of a sudden space station starts exploding all this shit Bonn ends up killing Drax with his little fucking wristart thing launches him out of an airlock

yeah drags gets launched out of an airlock he gets launched out of his own space station and just floats away into space but three of these nerve gas bombs have been launched start Earth. Party's not over yet, so Bonn and Goodhead, hightel it to one of the last space shuttles, they get in there, oh no, locking mechanism. It won't work.

All of a sudden they see Jaws and his girlfriend in the space station. Roger Moore gets on the CB. Jaws, hey, we're cool now. Okay, we can't release the locking mechanism. All of a sudden, he knows how to do that. Gets the spatial released. Then their section of the fucking space station literally gets severed. like there's airlocks.

No, like they're going to get sucked down to space. And they're just like, they end up heading off toward Earth. Bon's like, it's okay. They're only a couple hundred miles from Earth or some shit. Like it's like an expectation that they'll land safely. Yeah, and they'll land not in the water or anywhere else. They're just going to like this is built to survive. Yeah.

Yeah. So they take the space shell and thank God this thing is equipped with lasers. Well, they wouldn't have been able to shoot these things down. Yeah. The other other awesome thing from that Benson, listen, was they said that from the first explosions on the space station to complete annihilation was 12 minutes. 12 minutes.

In space. Yeah. And then, of course, in classic Bond fashion, at the end of it, they have the Americans and the command from the British and everything at like Cape Canaveral and they're watching in the video feed. They're like, we have a television camera going live in the space shuttle right now, like to celebrate Bond and Dr. Goodhead. Of course, it's right in the cargo hold.

where they're laying down, like, naked in a net with, like, they have a space blanket somehow up there. Rod is just laying pipe. Oh, yeah. And basically, they see them on multiple cameras in there, apparently, because there's a lot of angle changes. And then we get the line that, I don't even know how you just leave this in the movie, but the fact that Q is like, I think he's attempting re-entry, sir. Because of everything else that just happened, that only makes sense. I know.

But the fact that, like, and then you just want to hear suddenly, 007. And then she's like, James, he's like, Ken. She's like, take me on one more trip around the world. Like, like spaceflight is so fucking easy. I think that was another bang me again, though. It was. Yeah. She's like, nail me again around the world.

But they're still capital. They're like, no one's flying the shuttle. And like, they're just like, we're just going to keep, we'll keep orbiting, right? You're just careening to the earth or orbit. Either way. Yeah. Either way we're good. Oxygen's not a question at this point.

We're using up a lot of oxygen, but our little capsule straight. All right. I got to pee one more time, and then we'll get into Current Bond. Okay. All right, well, we take a break from class and take care of some business. You can also take care of some business. If you don't follow us on Instagram or Twitter already, our Instagram handle is historically high pod.

That's historically high POD. And our Twitter is historically high. That's historically H.I. All right, and back to our show. All right, back once more. All right. So before we get into The more modern, I guess, or the next guy,

I just got to mention a view to a kill. Not only a great song, Duran Duran. Yeah. But Roger Moore's, we got his, it's a send-off and everything. And thank God because he was about 57. He might have been older at this point. I mentioned the movie because as far as like pure ridiculousness, it's up there in the top three.

You got Christopher Walken as the German genetic engineered like weird bad guy and his plan is to flood and destroy Silicon Valley to control like its peak like what is like something that's going to be the future like microchips like how do we make it into a Bond villain? He's going to have

all the microchips. I'm glad you brought him up because Walkins my favorite villain. Is he? And I don't know. Max Zorin? Yeah, I don't know. Zorin as a villain's a pretty good villain. Mr. Bond? Yeah, dude. It's just. You'll die

today. Mayday. You can't. Pop his head like a Zit. You can't beat Christopher walking as a villain. He's played so many villains and so many funny villains that now going back and seeing it, like after everything that you've seen. There's

like watching it when you're younger before you see all the other Christopher walking parts. Yeah. And then you see it again and it's like that's It was so like ridiculous watching it as an adult. But like seeing Mayday. and everything and being like, what is this I'm looking at?

And then maybe having like, oh, she's strong. Like, this is kind of like, why is my, why are my pants doing this? But just the fact that it had Midge from that 70 show is like the main girl. And she had no point being even in the story. She was like the daughter of somebody. Just a hot chick. Yes. So she was.

Yes. She was eye candy. A lot of blimps. This is one of the movies that took place in the United States. So, I mean, I'm even kind of putting that to the side. But walking is a bad guy. Roger Moore, basically at this point, his fighting involved maybe like a kick, like one like maybe not even up to like hip height kick and a couple karate chops. He was winded delivering lines.

There wasn't going to be on fighting. And at this point, too, this was when I can't remember. I'm just going to call her midge. She was still really young. And so I'm talking like mid-20s. So you got like this 57 year old guy that's it was fucking disgusting. Come on. So, but I mean it's the the climax.

with basically the blimp exploding and over the Golden Gate Bridge it it had to be mentioned so it brings a smile to your face. Yeah, it is. It's a fucking crazy movie. All right, getting into Timothy Dalton. There's not a lot to say about Dalton.

No, I think that he was a fine bond. I think that is the second probably better than his first. Oh, I thought his first was better than the second. The second to me just was, It was about like the fucking heroin smuggling, like, and all that kind of stuff. That's why I kind of liked it.

But again, also very poorly stereotypical. The first one, I was watching the credits, does have one of the coolest Aston Martins. The one that's the skis that pop out the side and all that stuff. Very niche. Like, you got to be in that exact situation to need that Aston Martin. Thank God it was. You definitely knew. It did have also where they have to ski down the slopes on the fucking cello case, like riding side by side.

A little fucking ridiculous. but just watching the intro, it was like it was the first time that studio, the editor had ever gotten a hold of like neon effects. And he was just like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And it's just fucking ridiculous like the colors. The song is fucking ridiculous in the Living Daylights. Acid must have been pretty big in that guy's life.

Oh, yeah. But I think Dalton, being a bond and everything, he looks like a, he's a very like... He was serviceable. Yes. well he looked like bond to me and everything like that he has a good bond look I just think that they

tried to go like too too far away from the camp because there's a scene in that movie where he's like holding a Russian general like hostage and one of his bodyguards is coming in and he literally grabs

like the woman that's with the Russian general and rips off her robe and shoves her in front of the door and she's like oh oh and then like the guard opens the door and sees her standing topless just tits out And then Bond uses that to shoot the guard. And then he tosses the robe and he's like, get in the bathroom and lock yourself. And it's like, you literally just like traumatized.

He's just like trying to, I thought she was being raped. But it came on a little bit, came on a little bit strong. He was a little bit of like darker Bond, I think. Timothy Dalton to me looks like British Jerry Lewis. Maybe it's just the chin. But he definitely, he's just, he's, he's so far away from. the camp kind of Roger Moore that we were talking about.

He kind of swings the pendulum back into the more serious realm. I kind of, I know I did the whole Roger Moore to the, um, fuck, Adam West Batman.

Yeah. I think Timothy Dalton was like the Tim Burton. That first Batman where it tried to get like, yeah, darker and stuff like that. And then I think once you get into Pierce Brosnan at the beginning, Pierce Brosnan was like Batman returns in GoldenEye.

And then from there he went into like the neon Batman shit, like the Schumacher ones that nobody like, that nobody likes. So you would say charisma was Sean Connery.

Mm-hmm. What would you say for Roger Moore? Just the smile-inducing. It was just like it was like the ridiculous, it was ridiculously campy but in such like a way that like

you didn't feel like there were ever stakes. Like you always knew Bond was going to like in those like it was so ridiculous that it was just seeing how Bond would get out of it. Yeah. Like how funny the plot was and like the villains and the henchmen and stuff. So Roger Moore more like the happy go lucky.

Yeah. Low stakes. Low stakes entertainment. That's his defining. What would you say for Timothy Dalton? His was just kind of like forgettable. He was there. He was... Yeah. He wasn't he was supposed to be there. That's the thing. Between him and Pierce Brosnan, the only reason that Pierce

Brosnan didn't start playing right after Roger Moore was because he had his contract with Remington Steel. I think he was supposed to be the next Bond, and then I don't know if Roger Moore wanted to do one more, and Timothy, or not, Pierce Brosdon was like,

I'm not waiting around, so he went and did Remington Still, which is a knockoff of James Bond. And then when it came open and Roger Moore was done, I think the contracts didn't work out. So they got Timothy Dalton to fill in, and then as soon as I think Pierce Brosnan was ready and out of that contract, I think that's when they moved him in. And so that'll move us into Golden Eye,

which it was my first bond here's the thing I don't didn't even really watch the Timothy Dalton ones because my mom wasn't a fan yeah like it was all Roger Moore yeah and so the first new one

that I saw when I was old enough that was when I was 10 and when Golden Night came out and that was like that was just coolest shit because it was like I don't know it was like it wasn't campy

it had the camp to it as far as like dialogue and stuff like that but like Golden Night from setting it up for that first scene where he jumps off the you're just like oh shit like golden night yeah he

he was the one I was talking about earlier I think before we started recording he's like the markout guy for me when he first gets introduced and he's oh he's in the casino and he's playing backerat which

I wish I could understand backerat I just I don't get it but after he gets done and beats the first villain lady yeah yeah yeah and then the guy comes up to talk to him and ask him if he would like a drink. And as soon as you hear it, you know what's coming out of his mouth. And you just, like, you mark out for a second.

Like, you're a wrestling fan. And this is 1997. It was 95. When? When the game, or when the movie came out. Oh, yeah. As far as, like, wrestling fan. Oh, okay.

Like, this is when the rock asked somebody if you like pancakes. Okay. You know what's coming next. you're just so excited to hear it and as soon as he says martini shaken not stirred you just immediately you're like yes this is what I'm here for vodka martini

shaken not stirred without breaking eye contact with her like just make me my drink I don't even have to know it it's the most throwaway line the way that he says it but everybody in the movie theater is waiting for it because that's just what you've come to expect yeah and he like I say he's my first bond

he's just the prototypical look to him he's got the accent to it He fits so well in a tux that it's just, it's like it was made for him. I think when we get to the Daniel Craig once, I'll focus more on trying to remember the opening scenes for those. But I do think that the golden eye opening scene out of all the bond opening scenes is the coolest just because of what it did. Seeing that once he gets through, you know, the Russian chemical place and like 006 gets killed or whatever, that was also when like you're like, oh, these guys are machining gun, machine gunning people. Like this isn't like going to be worried about the body count. like Bond or anything like that.

This isn't just I have a Walthor PPK and I'm just going and I'm shooting a couple guys of movie. Like, so the plane that's taken off down that runway that he has to then chase down with the motorcycle and jump off at the same time as the plane and then free fall and chase the plane down and then pull up and everything.

I don't know if it was just the age that I saw it at but because that was so much like crazier and looked more realistic than anything I'd seen in the Roger Moore ones. That was just like, oh shit. It had to be because re-watching it and seeing it now, it's just like, this is garbage. When he starts getting down near the plane,

it shows him getting close to you're like, this is obviously green screen. But like when the actual skydive jumps off with the plane, that's real. You just don't see, you know, you're not close enough to see what it. So like, even watching that part, that you're just like, whoa, but then you see him next to it and you're just like, oh, I can see this looks fake now, but at the time you're like this still, you're still in it. Completely real to a child ties. No, I think Brazenin and I think that was an awesome.

The tank chase. Yeah. like that hadn't been done. And like it, but it was still not like ridiculous. The headman, it's stripes. Yeah. But yeah, the,

the set piece were awesome. The whole plot was awesome. Decent Bond girl. Not just saying that she was a beautiful and everything like that, but just kind of what she brought to the table. Yeah. And then let's see. What was his body count this one?

He sleeps with the girl at the very beginning. And he's driving the DB5. Oh, that did make an appearance in this. he went when he's driving next to the Ferrari and then the next one was the Z3 the next one was BMW

no in this movie it was remember he's driving the DB5 when he's racing Zena in the Ferrari oh yeah okay so it's the throwback with it yes and he pops and all of a sudden he has champagne on ice like in the center console that's when he ends up sleeping with the chick that was sent to evaluate him we still haven't shaken

that yet that's the sex is still in full force and here's the thing too one of the most memorable like villains, like in how she kills people. You're seen as a 10 year old. This guy getting fucked. This guy fucking this chick. And she ends up like crossing her legs up on him and killing him.

And then she tries to do it to bond a couple times. May Day makes he excited in a weird bodybuilder kind of way. And if you had a reaction to watching her wrap her thighs around somebody's neck and kill them, that told you something about your future too. You were definitely going to be into a shirt. So I guess I'm going to be into this. So all right. So then we move on to Brosnan.

And this first one, not like a huge, huge gadget movie. He had like the little belt that fired the grappling hook and his watch could do some shit and everything. And then the pen grenade was about as much as it crazy as it got. I got to look it up. Keep going. But there's something about the watches and Roger Moore that it just seems so fitting. And I forget what his watch of choice is. You know something that always bug me about the Roger Moore movies looking back on him? He wore so much khaki.

He always wore like a khaki pants and like a navy blazer. It was never like the black or anything like that. Yeah, he wore the tuxedo sometimes, but otherwise he just looked like he was in Boca. Yeah. Like going to nice dinner in Boca. Yeah, he could have been coming from a Buffett concert. You just don't know. So then we get to die another day.

So, yeah, just before that, he wore a lot of Rolexes. He wore his main brand. It's just, it's escaping me. Omega? Yes. Yes, Omega. But Roger Moore got a full run of Seco watches. Roger Moore was the first bond to have an analog, or to have a digital watch.

Ooh. And which it sounds. The future is here. It sounds fancy for the time, but now when you think, of it like a classy watch. The rubber strap on it. Yeah, dude. Roger Moore's wearing a G-shock.

He might as well have been wearing a swatch watch at that point. That's when he could like risk communicator, when he could talk into it and shit. It's got a calculator and shit on it. Like, that's how seriously they took Roger Moore. Everybody else got Rolexes. His tiny little 007 themed camera that had

zero zero seven on it with the lens. Everybody else got Omega's and Rolexes. They're like, what do we do for Roger Moore? Could he win this at a pojo's? Yeah, sure. Let's throw it on him. So, die another day. it's an all right movie

typically the first Bond movies for me are the best but like this one I don't know it's again it's trying to make it relevant for what's like could be popular or like threatening at the time so it's like a news media

mogul and he has a warship an invisible stealth warship that he's like trying to end up create war between like Britain and China to like increase news ratings only one man can stop him there's a decline in the bond songs at this point too. Who did this one?

Was this, uh, the girl from garbage? Yeah. I think she was the last decent one. Or she might have, and then, I know Madonna did one. I can't remember. That one was bad. Oh, Madonna did one for Die Another Day because she was in Die Another Day. And after that, it was like

Chad Kroger and... No, it was, it wasn't Chad Kroger. It was the guy from Soundgarden. You sure? For, uh, for Casino Roy. that you'll know my name. It's not Kroger? It's not, dude.

They wouldn't get the guy for fucking, don't do that. You're going to upset me. No. It wasn't. Sometimes you've got to poke the beast. Don't do that.

Now I'm trying to think of his name, Chris Cornell. Okay. It was Chris Cornell. I got the C. Fucking easy. Go easy. God damn it.

Throw me out of my groove. Die another day. Here's the thing I don't get. So we get Terry Hatcher. Terry Hatcher's hot. Terry Hatcher is still hot. We get her as a Bond girl. Here's what I don't get.

She's like the girlfriend of this media mogul guy, but she slept with Bond before. Like, what are the chances? Like, does Bond go at certain points and part of his mission is to just go try to sleep with a ton of women that, like, are higher in society? So at some point, they might be dating the supervillain he's after. He seems to know a lot of these women. You don't think he's doing research? That's what I'm saying is that part of his research. Well, you have.

Ends up getting her killed because he sleeps with her again. No one full well that they're going to find. This guy is a meet. Is surveillance is his game. And you think he's not going to find out about you sleeping with his girlfriend and not kill her. She ends up dead. Then Bond almost gets his like dick cut off or something. They're going to torture him or do something to him.

Another slow kill that he somehow escapes. He saves the day, kills the bad guys. Everyone goes home and he ends up sleeping with some like the Chinese. secret agent. We're not going to skip over Hallie Berry. We're not to Hallie Berry yet. Okay. We're getting into Hallie Berry.

We still got another movie before Hallie Berry. She's in dying another day, isn't she? That's the fourth one. The world is not enough, which is Denise Richards. Okay. Yeah. No, we can't skip over Denise. Yeah.

And during this time frame, I think, I don't know if we went back. So starting with the Pierce Brosnan movies, M, who had traditionally been played by this actor, it was always a man, is replaced by Judy Dench. So you get this, and this is like this new shakeup in the world of Bond.

And Herm Bond have this weird, like, she thinks he's like... There's a clash. Yeah, because she's like very logistical and like, she believes in like, she used to be in a friend, like an accountant or something like that. And then he's just basically,

he's like, I just go around and kill people. And so she doesn't like think he's needed. But then they develop a mutual respect for each other throughout the series. Yeah. He has to save her life in this one. You kind of have to.

It's a sort of a love-hate relationship. I'm not going to lie to you. Out of all the ridiculousness in this movie, I think the most ridiculous thing is trying to buy Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist. Who wears croppedoffs on her inspections and stuff? Again, Bond movie. This is kind of the first inclination of the superwomen that's still around and just still like, holy shit.

Yeah. Because Denise Richards, can still get it. Oh yeah, genetically blessed. Very, very attractive. Hashtag blast. Yeah, and she's kind of the first staying power. Like the rest of the Bond women

have all kind of had their time in the sun. Midge is still good looking, I think. Isn't the woman that plays Midge still hot? I haven't seen her in a really long time. That's true. I've watched a lot of that 70 show recently, so that's when I'm seeing her at that era. She was great then.

And then, of course, Bond saves the day from nuclear fallout in Istanbul to interrupt oil trade pipe again oil trade pipelines that old that old chestnut he ends up sleeping with the niece Richards at the end of course and the movie ends with

oh her name is Christmas Dr. Christmas Jones and I'm pretty sure they named her this just for this line at the end because like of course like MI6 is doing surveillance on bond they can see his heat signature from a satellite and all of a sudden they see like another leg pop

out the side of the heat signature and he's on top it these Richards and then it goes into the room and he's like that's funny and she's like what he's like I thought Christmas only came once a year I was a kid when I heard that and had no fucking clue what that meant I was probably when that came out I was probably 15 and maybe I should have known by that time what that meant but I didn't get that until I did a rewatch like five years later and I was like that fucking made it end we're in the 90s and we're still doing this shit yeah still we're still happening. It's still happening.

All right. And then moving on to Pierce's last go-around. Die another day was. Hallie Berry was the only saving grace of that. She was a CIA agent. Come on. Think better names. Jinks Mays or whatever her names was in that. I think they were trying to get away from just the obvious. That, you know what? That was her secret agent name. That wasn't her real name. She knew to make up a secret agent name. That's what I'd like to believe, because she seemed pretty smart. This is where we get the...

Kind of the throwback to the orange bikini scene, too. That was... It's supposed to be an homage to the earthlandress when she pops out of the water and everything. What a beautiful homage. Oh, my God. This is the plot where it's a Korean dictator's son that Bond ends up killing in the beginning, or they think he died.

James Bond gets captured and tortured for like 18 months by Korea, and then gets traded out back to MI6 when they... bring it back out, it looks like just a fake Pierce grow on him. North Korea. North Korea. We need to mention North Korea. Sorry. The plot ends up being that there's this guy named like Gustav Graves,

great villain name, who is actually the Korean general son who got gene therapy to turn him into this unrecognizable white guy who all of a sudden within the span of like two years has amassed like a billion dollar foundation. I don't know if

he took this guy's identity or whatever. And his whole goal is to design a satellite that can fire a beam of light at the earth and take out the demilitarized line and use it as a weapon to essentially unite Korea. I'm not going on the limb here. One of the worst bonds. Oh, this is just like, we're running out of shit to do. What's good now? Space laser. It's in the like, fuck it, space laser it is.

This is where bond is provided back with the Aston Martin. Hooray, yes. But now the vanquish is, and the cue even says, like, is it? the vanish and it just fucking turns invisible. It uses like the concept of what like the TV screens on the outside of it or some shit. Back to Willie Wonka and the chalk of the fucking mic TV. And we get a car chase over a frozen lake against a jaguar with like a chain gun attached to it. That also takes place within like a hotel made of ice.

And then at some point Bond has to jump off of like an ice cliff when the space laser comes down, but how does he survive? Well, he ends up using a piece of the car or some shit and a parachute to fucking perisurf down this fucking tsunami wave. So bad. All in all, the end of the movie takes place on a plane that I think also might take close to 10, 12 minutes to explode after being heavily, heavily damaged. Hey, Bonn saves the day and he leaves with Halliberry.

On a bunch of diamonds. And had the Vanquish not vanished another probably top five Bond car? The Vanquish was gorgeous too. The reintroduction of the Asin Martin alone, yes, but you didn't even see it. Yeah. You're taking away. You're making it. When you could see it was great.

It's like the Invisible Woman's Plain. So that was actually it for Pierce Brosnan because that movie was fucking ridiculous. I think that actually is the worst Bond movie. Yeah, I wouldn't argue that. there was some stinkers but that really felt like it took the gig and then moving on to the current bond

well just ended his tenure Daniel Craig and his movies were basically like yeah Christopher Nolan Batman movies for Bond started him out in the very first movie you got to see how he got his double O status a guy that you actually believed could actually like fight

and everything I think he fits the same walls, Braznan, where he just, he looks apart. He's, he looks like Pond. I think they were able to, and I might be completely off on this. So kind of during, and this, what happened in the first movie kind of set the stage for all the other movies. It was all one like cohesive story. Like that was one thing about like Connery. They were after like Spector or they went after like organizations. But all the movies didn't have a ton of time in except like a little callback and saying, oh, this guy worked for us or something like that. Like the Craig movies,

had like leading towards something like they knew kind of where they wanted to go with it and so in the first movie it's when he gets his double-o status it's basically him being sent to do oh the action scene in the first part of that where he's doing the like construction chase and all of that stuff or that might be the scene right after he gets his double-o status before the intro and after it's that whole action scene where he's like doing the parkour and chasing that guy around he's a double-o-seven at that point yeah um But yeah, and then just even having it slow down to just do the poker game and still having that have like tension and drama and all that kind of stuff. Probably the worst torture a bond has ever endured.

Are you talking about the chair? When I first saw that man, like if you guys haven't seen it basically, they take the bond gets captured, they're trying to torture him for information. It's like a wicker chair. Yeah, they strip him naked, put him in a wicker chair, but they cut out the bottom wicker of it. So it's just him hanging basically with his fucking balls in his dead. His meat is just down there like a punching bag. And the guy comes in and basically has this big old thick rope with a big old club, like knotted club on the end of it and basically just sits there and swings it under the chair

and bashes his fucking nuts. But like the torture scene is crazy because you can hear him screaming. He's not giving up the information. But like just watching that, you're like, okay, this bond isn't fucking around. No, and you almost want to like scream out like just give him the information. Leave his dick alone. He's had enough. There's going to be nothing left.

But like I was saying, like you never ever got to like see bonds get hurt or anything. And for a good chunk of this movie for like a 10, 15 minute section of the movie, you see him actually like in recovery and kind of like that kind of shit. It brings a human element to it. Yeah. It takes kind of out of the superhero realm and more into the common. This is a man.

And he ends up falling in love with the woman that's sent on the mission with him. And at first she's kind of playing. She's being blackmail. into playing for the opposite side, and then she ends up, like, kind of falling in love with him. And then after he won't give up the information or something like that, they end up running off together. Well, she ends up then having to still fulfill part of her agreement. And in the end, she ends up getting killed while kind of trying to, in a roundabout way,

save his life. Yeah, it's kind of not to say that the Laysenby thing was anything real big with him. having a wife, but it's kind of like the first ever human, like, it's almost like love. It was, and that's the thing, too, is you had Bond by the end of the movie before that last action piece where she dies, he was putting in his resignation. So you could have, it was almost a situation where you had, you got to see Bond become Bond go on this mission, then he was going to be ready to call it quit because he didn't want to do it. And then basically after this happens, I was, and I was probably looking, I was probably stoned, too stoneed while I was watching it,

I was watching the end part of Casino Royale, and he's like holding her, and then he kind of looks around and he's got this, like, crazy look in his face. And I'm trying to think of, like, what his mindset was on this and how that, like, I could see how that might have shaped the character. And I might be just chasing, you know, rabbit holes and everything. But I think what that did and what that was intended to do was to show that, like, that is going to shape his relationships with women going forward. And because he basically trusted this woman, loved her. and he feels like, because he's not told by M until later, like, why do you think you're still alive?

She obviously made a deal to get the money in exchange for your life. And he hears that, when he calls back in to basically say, I'm not resigning, I'll be back. And I think, but part of him is like, I feel like she betrayed me. So I think any woman he meets going forward

in any of the Craig movies, he's just feeling like he's never going to let himself, like, do that again until the second to last movie. And then even then you see in the very, last movie, he's still letting that impact him. He becomes a flawed character. That's the biggest thing is like, you know that he's flawed.

You see him drinking when he gets like, like when he gets attacked in that casino royale scene, he goes upstairs and pours himself a glass. Was he just like calm his nerves? Like you never saw Roger Moore, like them having to like do something like that. Or see him bleeding. It changed from like the good time Charlie drinker

into like this is a coping mechanism. Yeah, exactly. You saw it at a certain point he was addicted to pills and like skyfall after he. got like wounded and everything. But I think it was just cooler to see because it was at the time also when like Jason Bourne and people were like, oh shit, that's a lot fucking cooler than all the... You had a lot more action stars than you're trying to take the limelight.

Yeah. So you almost had to go more realistic to try to bring him into their realm and then try to one up him. And I think that he does. I mean, he's... The Daniel Craig Bonds, I think, are the most well sculpted and scripted of any of them. where you get out of the just lunacy. At that point, too, I think after that first movie and then wanting to try to do it in a certain way, you've had a lot of like high caliber directors.

Whereas like the earlier movies, you had directors that would direct multiple bond movies until maybe one of them flopped or they got tired of doing it. And then you would have like a writer that had written for the previous movies become the director. Second unit director or producer, something like that. And so it was like never, your quality never expanded outside of what, that group was capable of. And now you have Bond movies being directed and, you know, Skyfall winning like some awards and all that kind of stuff.

But kind of with the theme of bond. So Craig has his second outing in Quantum of Solace. No idea what the fucking title means. I feel like they were just throwing fucking words in a wall and waiting for something to be like quantum. Hmm. That sounds like very techy. And then what's something that we don't, a word that people don't understand?

Solace? Ooh, yes. Let's go with that. have no reference to the movie whatsoever. And we have a substantial jump because from the production budget for Casino Royale came in at $102 million. Quantum of Solace jumped all the way up to $230 million. Casino Royale was a huge hit. Yeah.

So you're going to throw a lot of money behind that next one. And so that one was probably the worst of the Craig movies. It was just kind of a weird plot about some type of like eco-terrorist that was really trying to control all the water in Bolivia or something like that. I thought it was a cool direction

that they did bond in because you still got like the suave bond and everything. Not a lot of tuxedo wearing for this bond. He just wears a lot of like stuff he could be run around in some khakis and everything like that, T-shirt button up sometimes. It almost is like he's more

in the field with his dress than he is. Yeah, exactly. It was that that was cooler to see. And I think kind of going off, what I was saying is the girl in this Bond movie was like an ex-Columbian, like agent or something like that. They was trying to kill that general or something, like one of the bad guys. And Bond never, she was the Bond girl for that movie. He ended up sleeping with like an assistant and ended up getting her killed. And as Bond will tend to do that.

Bond will tend to do. And she got into, she ended up getting covered with oil. I don't know if she was dead before the oil. I think they actually found oil in her stomach. And that, oh, they did. Because that's why he ends up killing the bad guy the same way. Oh, yeah, because he makes him drink the motor oil too. He leaves him with the quarter of motor oil, leaves him in the middle of the desert.

Yeah. And then they end up finding him dead. But so, yeah, so her, he never like, because she apparently was like sexually assaulted by this general too when she was younger. Bond never ends up sleeping with her. I think he also, he still filmed the effect. of the previous movie. So that's kind of cool because they just work together

and then end up getting the bad guy and calling it good. And then I think at the end of that one is when you get the callback when he goes back to that woman he loved and finds her boyfriend, the one that was blackmailing her,

and then doesn't kill him, but ends up turning him in. Certainly less fun with the romantic trists of the bonds of yore. I think he, as far as like when you see other bonds take a step back and make worse films.

He took the shortest step back. When I was kind of getting out with that, sorry I didn't finish that thought on it. What I was getting at is I think that that is how they kept that relevant in Bond. Because like the whole thing with like Roger Moore and everything, if this is making sense, the whole thing with like if you look back at the like Roger Moore

and Sean Connery, there was never really a reason other than him just being an asshole for just sleeping with these women and everything. And I'm not saying that's not one of like the, you know, fun things about Bond. It's like, oh, that's Bond. It's a lovable trait. Exactly. What I'm saying, though, is you would look back at them

and be like, man, that guy had to have, like, so much VD, he never wore a fucking condom. But like with Craig, you look at it and it's just kind of like, he likes this girl who's sleeping with her, but he because of his past, it almost explains why he's never going to let himself get attached. And so you're like, I can see why he's just very casual with these women. Not saying it's

right or anything because he gets a lot of these girls killed. Yeah. But like, it makes it believable. And then it also makes it understandable why he doesn't like force himself after after certain women like that girl in the second one he's just okay with them doing their thing and then like separating just a business yeah exactly um and then we get to skyfall which i just i watched that one i think last night and this is where you also get like the villains that come in to start being like savior bartum and everything

coming in to be to be sylva um this is i i thought one cool aspect was it i think Judy Dench didn't really match up with that era of Bond. Yeah, it was almost like the relationship was repaired with Daniel Craig because he starts to take things as seriously as she does. Yeah, and what I mean by that is like, I can see like with Q, how they brought Q the same actor into like the Paris Brosnan era. And then he got taken over like the last movie by John Cleese, who was R or some shit. When they started Daniel Craig, they gave him a new Q and it was like this young kind of like

tech guy, but he was like nerdy. Like it be believable for someone who could like, design gadgets and stuff. It fit the time. But like Judy Dench coming over almost made it feel like it was still holding on a little bit of Brosnan stuff. And they were good together and everything. I just think it's cool in this movie that you get to see Ray Fines step in at the very end to B.M. And then B.M for the next two movies because I think he actually plays a really good M as well.

I'm not saying Judy Densh doesn't. I'm just saying with Daniel Craig, I think that M is a good version for him. Yeah, she was a great actor. She did well in the movies. but sometimes it's just a chemistry issue that you see kind of in a different light when you see somebody else. They're like, okay, she was good,

but there was more to flesh out between these two. And like the opening scene of Skyfall is awesome. It has the motorbike chase and like across the Grand Bazaar and all that kind of stuff, the fight on top of the train and everything. They were a little bit more skeptical with this one. They dropped from 230 million to 200 million.

so. It's going to happen after the second one didn't do as well as they should, but. They had to cut out one car scene. Yeah. They had to cut out one chase. Well, actually, I think they probably did because a lot of the action for that last part of the movie

all takes place at the skyfall and everything out in Scotland. But one of the cool things I thought they did with this movie is how they end up taking the agent that's with Bond at the beginning, the chick. And you end up like finding out she and, ends up becoming money penny because she finds that she's better about like the office stuff like not the I don't mean office stuff like secretary stuff she's better at like being the liaison between like M and like the agents because she is an agent or it was and just I don't think she enjoys going out there like Bonn even mentions to her living movie is like some people just it's not for everybody and he's kind of saying it like joking with her and everything but another thing too is this is where you get to see Bonn's Bond like be a human and like you're like oh this dude's getting beat the fuck up because he goes remember when he goes and takes the fitness test and the guy's talking to him while he's trying

to run on the treadmill and then afterward he's like do you want to continue this later he's like yeah let's continue this later and as soon as the guy's leave the room he like collapses and he's just like Jesus Christ it's the first time they acknowledge that Bond ages in a normal way like all the rest of them get old and crusty and really bad and fight scenes but they never like make it obvious they're like yeah this dude's old no but the bad guys never have to lower their fighting skills for fucking bond. Like he's fighting the same caliber of guys is just being harder on him. Daniel Craig,

you can tell his fight seems to become more labored. Everything starts to pile up on him more. But yeah, so that ends up, Skyfall ends up being a huge. I think that one was a billion dollars that ended up making. I remember Skyfall was on the top of that for a long time. Yeah, Skyfall at one point.

1 billion worldwide. I think it was the highest grossing bond movie ever, which makes sense. It was awesome. Adele sang the theme song. It was very good. Yeah. And then we get Spector, which the opening scene of fucking Spector, if you haven't, did you I don't think I've seen Spector.

Okay. I'm not going to walk through the whole thing, but basically this is when he starts to dig in and find out that the people like Le Schiff, that Mr. White guy, the guy he kills in the second one, are all connected to this organization called Spector. And so he's starting to put it all together. And the opening scene, part of it involves it during a day of the dead. I don't know where I think it might be Mexico City. And he's tracking this guy and he's going to assassinate him.

It's one long camera shot between him walking through the entire day of the dead parade in a mask. He's in a black, full black tuxedo with like skeleton on it. And he's holding hands with a woman that's wearing a mask too. They go up into a hotel, falls them the entire time, into the bedroom. She takes off his mask, goes to lay on the bed. And she's like, are you going somewhere? he's already taken off the skeleton suit. He's like, I'll be back in a minute, walks out the window,

camera shot falls in the entire time, walks on top of rooftops for a wall, and then goes to set up in a sniper position. It's like a five-minute scene of just following him. It's so fucking cool. I know that sounds like really geeky to think about, but just that you never see him, you knew that he had to do everything perfect.

Yeah. But he ends up finding this organization, and that's where you get, um, uh, Christoph Waltz comes in and ends up, And ends up being the kid going back to when Bond was a kid, ends up being the son of the guy that took him in.

And that's where you get Ernest Stavro Blofeld, which Blofeld was also a villain, a key villain for a couple of Connery's movies. But that's where you end up getting him now as part of this. And he's the leader of this organization that's been trying to make Bond's life miserable and everything. So that ended up being, I mean, it had some of the points were all right.

Batista was in that one. That was where Really? That was where Batista was like one of the henchmen And basically was like Kind of like an odd job Without the gimmicky hat and shit

But just like a beast But it was really smart I think his name was Mr. Hinks Him and Bond get into a car chase in Spain That's pretty cool I gotta see this one now You're gonna need to watch this one And then Daniel Craig's last outing

This is the No Future Plans for Bond right now So this is the last, we'll have a bond 2,021, no time to die Blot was okay Bond ended up in Spector. He actually, I think, ends up with wanting to settle down with a woman, and it ends up being like the daughter of someone he killed or something like that.

He had like saved her when she's like a neurosurgeon, so like she's definitely like not stupid. This one was kind of a battle to get Craig to sign into too, wasn't it? Yeah, and I think they had to make sure it was set up for him to be his last outing. They leave no doubt. And that always kind of hampers and hamstrass. brings a writing crew. I think not if we just lean into the fact that we think that they're different guys.

Okay. Yeah. I guess that's true. It just seems like sort of the... I think that they're going to have to acknowledge that now. The shoving off point for the other ones just seemed like it was sort of like a phoned in the performance. Yeah. But Daniel Craig, I'm sure, was still good in this one.

No, he was excellent. And, I mean, the plot was actually kind of a cool concept for him to not be able to continue his bond. You find out that, and this leads back to him just being like a really flawed. character that has no trust he ends up with that girl that he ended the last movie with for a while um he leaves her after thinking that she betrayed him for something like that was like a misunderstanding she ended up being pregnant at the time he didn't know about that so this is like a kid this yeah this is like eight years later that he ends up and he finds out that she has a daughter and it's never really explicitly said that like it's his but you know that it matches up he

the kid looks has all the features and he can kind of tell so the bad guy basically is this guy that I can't remember what the connection is he develops this way to assassinate people by basically he can code your DNA and inject you with like a virus that if you get close to the people

that have the DNA the virus is coded for it'll kill them like you'll infect them it'll kill them so like for instance if I was injected with the virus and the virus was coded for your DNA if we were right here in the same room where I touched you just chemical warfare yes and so what ends up happening the reason that his bond spoiler alert go watch the movie if you haven't fucking seen it

um what ends up happening is bond this guy is like the ultimate torture injects bond with the virus that has the DNA coded for his wife or his girlfriend and his daughter huh and so before and this is going to be sold off as a weapon or used to kill a bunch of people so basically bond so his daughter's dead no if he gets near her okay he can't go near them he gets them off this island where all the shit's going on. Like it's a small island Alcatraz type dealio where these guys

making all of this shit in the lab. And he basically goes in and sets off a beacon and has the airstrike come in and he's like, just call it in and is in the explosion

and everything that destroys this island. So that's how Bond dies. Because he wouldn't be able to go next to it. Like he, I think he'd been shot or something like that.

But he also knew that the rest of his life he would never be able to basically after finding out that he has a daughter and that his love didn't betray him, he would then have to spend his whole life away from them. So,

you see what I meant by kind of on his own terms? Like when I said that earlier. It was, and I feel like it sets up something that I kind of hope they can lean towards, like is an option to go forward, not in the future, but like in the distant future as far as with Bond. But, yeah, I mean, I think that Craig overall,

if we're saying that it was bravado for, Connery and then kind of happy go lucky for more more Laysenby was just a flash in the pan I wouldn't even say he was in the pan yeah Tdalt was he was just kind of there Brosnan feels Bond E as far as everything that he did and I think that's kind of what I remember him as Daniel Craig Bronson started started so strong and then just like fizzled It almost ruined his version of Bond. Like if you can just like think of him for maybe like, if you just think Golden Eye Man and you're like,

you couldn't just made Golden Eye like three more movies. But no, but Brosnan was definitely like, I don't know, he was the bond for that time. Yeah, he was the perfect 90s bond. I think Daniel Craig is just like the most full character. Like you saw the most believable character in all aspects that he could really fight. He really got injured. He really had a lot of shit he was going through and everything like that.

He was a really flawed character. You saw behind the curtain for him. Yeah, I would say flawed would probably be the best way to describe Daniel Craig's. Yeah. Just a fantastic film. Film franchise. Yeah. It has made so much money.

The total franchise has generated over $7 billion globally, which is just insane. It's the fifth highest grossing film series ever. And that's saying something because, this isn't like a Marvel franchise where they're coming out with a movie every year and it's current days where so many people are going. They're also taking into account that's seven billion. Think of movies back like in the you know 70s and stuff when these were getting made. These weren't like you know huge huge huge turnouts and everything. They were making good money for the time to keep from making them. But I mean that's and to keep going to have that longevity.

Yeah. It's pretty dense. And it's even I mean live and let die in 73 his gross 161 million globally. From a movie at that point in time in history that's a must see movie for that time. Just incredible. Just some of the other facts that go

along with it. Like we've talked about, there's been 25 films to date with six different bond actors and there were 13 different directors. So like you were saying earlier, they were filming them in batches. But later on, it kind of became like not necessarily a hunt and peck,

but it was like they were looking for a specific director per film. Yeah, look at it this way. When you got into Brosnan, they all had different directors. That's where you get a lot of makeup of that 13 different directors. Before that, that was, let's see, oh, Sam Mendes did Skyfall Inspector,

but one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight out of that 13 were all just during the Brosnan Craig Age. So that's how many of those previous movies were all directed by the same people. You got away from kind of the boys. club that they had. Three Bond theme songs

have won Academy Awards. Pretty cool for a franchise to win Academy Awards with just theme songs. And that kind of lends to the cachet of Bonn that you have people like Paul McCartney, you have people like Adele that want to be the theme

Tina Turner. Yeah. Yeah, that want to be the theme for... Didn't Tina Turner sing Golden Night? Golden Night. Was she? I think that was Tina Turner. Excuse me. You just wanted your name to it. Golden lie was such a good opening sequence too. That song,

do, do, do, do. Yeah, it was pretty good. I kind of forgot about that one. Bond, James Bond, is a catchphrase that's been recognized as the American Film Institute is the 22nd greatest quote in cinema history. I feel like that's,

it's sort of like a niche, weird fact, but with all the movies that have been made, I mean, that's, you're right there. Michael Scarn. Yeah, you're getting ripped off by the office and it's just great. Getting into the Bond women. So the Bond girls, six Bond girls have been featured in Playboy 27 times. So I would say that that's a pretty all-star roster that you're in Playboy.

Do you think that's what happens is you start the Bond movie and then there's just the Playboy flight was at the airport? Oh, yeah. It's time for you to go. We're going to time this with the release of the movie. You're going to end up making a lot of money. you're just you're a sex symbol at that point yeah it's so weird that so many of them like were dubbed the early ones with like people that weren't in their language

and everything just because they didn't fucking speak English you you're hot can you say this no that's fine we'll just dub you over we'll figure out someone that can't say we got a lot of people that can talk so over the course of the 25 films driven 24 different cars makes sense you're never gonna keep the old through one movie you might have kept the same one yeah and that's just kind of like the main cars that were for it there were other chases where he was in taxis and shit like that.

But as far as the stuff that he drove that were like the main ones, 24 different cars or 25 films, I mean, that's awesome. I think, I don't know if this is the right one, but I think the one where he has the same car and it is between Casino Royale

and Quantum of Solis, because he gets... It was a DB12, wasn't it? It is, but remember it rolls? Yeah. It flips. Oh, by the way, did you know that's the most times in cinema history

that they've got a car to rotate. It holds the record for most amount of rolls. Really? Yeah. And the first time they did it, it landed on its wheels. That was the first take that they did it. They got a little of the first take.

They would have probably gotten it on the first take. Yes, they had three of them, I think, that they could use. And it had a pneumatic thing in the back that punched the ground, and that's how it flipped and did that stuff. But I think what happened is, so that one gets destroyed, but he gets the same car. In the next, he's driving the same car. next movie like a replacement for it and he has

the guy in the trunk when he's doing the car chase at the very beginning which is a fucking excellent car chase in that one too yeah so great car longevity he had just mainly asin Martin but his roll at X of cards is fantastic the fact that the DB5

that's the epitome of the bond vehicle appeared kind of in all of the got to appear in all of them I don't know if he drove that one at all in the Timothy Dalton side but I know I think more might have driven it once or wise. You just

seeing the evolution of Bond, you kind of of see the evolution of Asin Martin. All the lines are still there and just the

beauty of the car's design is still there, but you can see the changes over time. It's kind of like a perfect, I don't know,

I'm going to use a word that I don't know if it's the right word, but like an allegory for Bond. Yeah. It just... It still is a little bit of a tide of the past.

Yeah. I liked how in Castino, you saw him, how he won the car. And then he apparently just shipped it back to like, England to Q and he was like, can you just put some guns in this?

Yeah, can we make this cooler? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know I asked you about this. So Pierce Brosnan killed the most people with 135. George Lazenby killed the least with how many? Five. Well, he only got the one movie, so I think that's a little unfair. Five still seems light for a long movie.

I explained you why I don't feel like this is fair because I told you as soon as the Brazen there hit, they just like everyone was using machine guns. And there was like no, he, I was counting when he was in the tank, just trying to count how many people he ran over in cars. And then they would have to flash back to the scene real quick and show someone like jumping out of like an already smashed car. I'm like, God damn it. Yeah, he was a mass effect. I mean, the dude just absolutely was cool as far as the way that he killed people.

He killed people in mass and it was in numbers. And it goes back to exactly like what you were talking about. You go from a Walter PPP to a machine gun. You're going to win. Like that's going to change that. at Laysenby, like we say, he had one movie. He was Her Majesty's Secret Service, so he was like a British. So who was after Lazy's B?

I just saw the high and the low there. I would guess Dalton then. Probably. Yeah. Yeah, he would probably be. Roger Moore probably have to be second. Yeah. And then I would think, because I don't think Connery really just like full on went like

Brosden murder spree. Well, in his first movie he had a woman's gun. That's true. busy killing with that. So in total, Bond encounters 104 villains. Yeah,

dude. That's, what, if you have 27, or 25 films, you're encountering just like... Those are probably villains

that like are recognized as villains. Because if you're counting, like the guys chasing him down the goddamn ski slope, when there's like 20 guys after him, that's not going to be someone here. You're counting. These are probably like named villains.

Yeah, you're not getting the, uh, these are all people that have credits. at the end of the movie. They're not just like Hinchman 1, henchman 2. James Bond,

like we said earlier, he's only married one time in one movie and it was Lazy's B and Her Majesty's Secret Service and just like we were talking about before, it was an easy end, I think, if the theory holds up.

This just occurred to me. Okay, so you said in our Majesty's Secret Service she gets killed in the end? Uh-huh. Not at their wedding, right? Uh, no, I think they're driving a, away and it's a car scene when she gets shot in the car.

Away from their wedding. I believe so. Okay. Is this where McGruber gets the fact that cut kills McGruber's wife at their wedding? Yeah. I think that McGruber could probably get some... I never saw Bond do the celery trick, but...

We don't know that he didn't, though. That's true. That was something that... It was two olives on a stick. You didn't tell us about that. Okay. So the other thing I asked, hey, we need to hide this. He's like, where?

He's like, are you familiar with the term prison wallet? All right. So I asked you about this one. So what was the total bond body count as far as women he was with? This, I put a lot of research into this because I felt like it was necessary. So this is, before we preface this, or to preface this, One of the best things that I found in doing this research is watching and listening to British people talk about James Bond. And when I say British people, I just mean British men.

I don't know. I'd never heard a British woman talk about it or anything like that. But I don't know if there's anybody that we have that we claim in America the way that Brits claim James Bond. Like they waxed, I was thinking of like athletes, but there's no athlete that's just universally loved. and there's no really star. It's John Wayne. But John Wayne was very, like, he wasn't. I'm saying that's the only comparable one I can think of.

I'm not even saying that that's a good one for on our side, because then that's just the stereotypical, you know, American cowboy and everything like that. I just don't think we have someone who like epitomizes, like Britishness, a character like this. So, like, everybody knows about. Ours might be like George Washington. Maybe.

He was British. He was British for a while. Yeah, I guess, yeah. He was an expat. But there were articles about James Bond sex body counts where they actually did

interviews with actual doctors. Like sexual doctors to talk about like there were articles that rated every Bond's chances of having a venereal disease. Oh, there was not a condom in sight. I don't see how condoms were not standard issue by Q Branch for Bond.

Instead of like, here is your wrist dot launcher and bond your box, your extra large box of condoms. Instead of magums. Then they just sit there and laugh at each other. He's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Instead of magnets. I don't use those. They're called golden eyes. So, without further ado, uh, the body count, Roger Moore, it just makes sense.

Roger Moore comes in, clocks in at 19 women. 19 women. I wonder what the average age on that was. Not, not a lot. It's between 20 and 25. Yeah. Yeah, they were all very young women and he, like you said earlier, he just kept it older. I'll give it up to 30.

I'll give it up maybe 30 years old. But yeah, Roger Moore at that point. He was like somebody's peepaw. He was still just smashing. Grandpa. Shut the fuck up, grandpa. You're not a secretation. The second old.

To make the list, of course, this is just film longevity, I'm sure. Connery begged 15 women. Okay. Which seems, you know, that's definitely a high risk of sexual diseases. Connery, okay, so Moore and Connery are tied for movies, which explains. I'm just trying to think. So Roger Moore had one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, one, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, they're only tied if you count, never say never again.

if you don't count that, then Roger Moore has one more movie. I'm just trying to figure out. So seven, so he had two, a little over two per movie. And Moore had a little over two per movie. Morehead, yeah, 19. So, okay. Almost, yeah, two and a half per movie. In Brosnan, he didn't have the amount of movies,

but he still put up a respectable 10. I mean, back in 10 broads and four movies. Again, that's 2.5. There might be a formula to this in which they have to average up just as many women. What was Craig at? Yeah, Craig comes in third

to last at seven. So, I mean, that's a, that was definitely a part of the character change, I think, because he had... Seven and five. That's not bad. He had the love interest in kind of the jaded feelings

towards relationships, which definitely makes sense to lend to seven. He knocked out two in the first movie between one of the terrorist wives' wives and classic bond fashion and she ended up dead I feel like that should just be the byline

after anything she and he slept with her and she ended up dead yeah we got numbers for that too um second to last Tdalt comes in with four so he's kind of right in on aggregate there right two movies four women Laysenby overachieved

and somehow was the only one to get married but he ended up with three in one movie. He might have the... I think actually the highest for one movie was more, and it might have been a view to a kill. He had four in one movie. He had the top of all the bonds in one movie. It could have been.

Connery seems like he would be more of the Poonhound, but Roger Moore is definitely an acceptable answer to that, too. So by the math, that's 58 women, and out of that 58 women, 16 of those women died. So a hefty portion of those 58 women, 16 of them ended up dying. So they barred. They were all the first one.

Oh, they were all the henchmen's women. Yeah. Not saying that's okay. No, no. Just 22% were drunk. Yeah, 12 of these women were drunk. I don't know how you assume that from a film. If it's just like drank alcohol on on screen beforehand or what, but that seems like a,

a respectable amount. I mean, I don't think consent was really the issue with Mr. Bond at that point. I don't think Mr. Bond asked for consent. Oh, so if you had to build your perfect bond. And I really enjoyed this. So, actor, like we talked about, Pierce, he just, he was my first bond. He was the first thing that I saw, so he was the first thing that I know. Carr was definitely going to be that DBS, the 2006, the Aston Martin.

Bonn Girl's Holly Goodhead Just because Moonraker and just the whole Absurdity That one line kind of sealed it for me He was like a woman It just A woman It did it for me

Uh The villain definitely Christopher Walkin Just because Christopher Walkin is a Bond villain Is something that everybody needs to be a part of Live and Let Die for the song's easy And the worst thing that they ever did Like we talked about I don't even need to say it again

But it's the Vanish vanquish All right, let me see your categories real quick All right, I got to go Actor, I'm going Daniel Craig, Carr, I'm going to go with the DB5 But I'm going to go with the DB5 That he drives in Skyfall Because I think that's the one that's closest

To the original Sean Connery one Respectably, yeah, it's a nod to history It's these weird little He's a different person, but it's still him All right, just tell me the categories Sorry, I forgot to write him down Oh, because it times it. out.

Car was that, what about the best gadget? What did you say was the best gadget? The Lotus, the Spear, or the Espray. Oh, okay. Ooh. Having a car turned into a submarine. No, of course. I'm not going to pick that one. That was awesome, though. I'm just trying to think of a very ridiculous one.

What was one that you could only use in a certain situation? Probably the skis. Skis are very neat. Are you talking about gadget on the car, or does gadget in general? I would say gadget in, Just everything. Every kind of extra that he had. That's fucking hard, man.

Okay, I like the, in golden eye. I like the watch that he's able to shoot the laser and weld. Yes, that's a good one. Because I also have this affinity. You had to do that in the game, and you had to hit the gray straps. And it was always, like, weird to try to hit him. All right, next one.

After gadget, girl, bon girl. I might be Halliberry for me. Yeah, she's definitely right up there. That's 1A for sure. Villain. I might have to go with, like, Dr. Cananga. Just how ridiculous it was. Yeah, besides Zorin, I would probably say Goldfinger would be second.

Zoran is a really, fuck. He's absurd. Yeah. Fuck, Zorn is a really good one. Yeah, and then maybe Xavier Bartum. Barton was... Silva. He was the one that was like in...

in Skyfall, some of them was trying to kill him. Yeah, he was a very good villain too. Song. I have View to a kill on my phone. You listen to that? Yes, but I'm just now thinking of Golden Eye.

I'll go View to a Kill, but Golden Eye is a fucking great song. Yeah, either way. I mean, they're, like you said, I don't know which one's exactly when the Academy Awards besides live and let die, but I'm sure it was one of those and then

to finish up the craziest plot, the craziest scene chase idea it was the ski chase in um of you to a kill

because he is like it just starts in like what looks like fucking Antarctica and Bond is like in full snow gear and then like on the other side of the ridge it's just a bunch of fucking Soviet soldiers it doesn't explain what the hell's going on he finds an agent buried in snow and takes like a microchip off of him.

And then it's this huge ski chase where you can obviously tell it never gets close enough to Roger Moore. It's like they even said like he never even stepped foot like where they were filming this. He filmed all of his like close up shots like at the studio. This huge ski chase. He ends up like getting behind this snowmobile and knocking the guy off and getting on the snowmobile and then the snowmobile gets blown up and he lands and the ski from the snowmobile lands next to him and you see him get this look on his face.

And he invents snowboarding. comes off a pipe, knocks two guys guns out of their hands with the ski, and then snowboards down the mountain, goes over a little front, like a little pond, and two of the Soviet guys crashed into it,

and then that's the one where he ends up getting into the iceberg shaped. Oh, yeah. Somewhere where the hatch has the British flag on it, and then it's the woman in there. And she's not like a fucking specialist. She's wearing like a fucking track suit, and she's just like, oh, you're late, James.

that I would say yeah that that fits in really well with the absurdity yes so yeah just just to wind down kind of the future of it I mean where we hear all the buzz all the time and I don't even know I mean I don't know if anybody really has a problem with it anymore just the thought of where the next bond goes and I don't I don't have a preference I just want the right person it has to be someone that I look at in that role and don't look at that person, just be like, can that person pull off, like, the look, how I think maybe Bond should kind of sound like, or do they have that, like, accent that Bond has, which all of them do. Obviously, they have to have some variation of it. Well, it's like what you said before, I don't think that an American would be the right person to

put on. 100%. No. It has to be somebody that has a natural. And I don't even have, like, a preference on, like, the look. I'm just like, if I'm looking at you and you look like you're able to, like, perform. the stuff that you're doing, your character is doing. Fantastic. Like, if they can find, they missed the train on Idris El-Ider's.

Idris Alba. Idris Alba. Time frame is gone because they'd maybe get two movies out of him before he got to the point where he's not a believable age for Bond. They missed their time frame on it. If they can find, like, another maybe like 30, 35-year-old. Just some 35-year-old. Britt. I think he, it has to be somebody with some sex appeal for sure. Daniel Craig's hot,

but he's hot in like a mechanic sort of way. Like he's, he's hot in a dirty way. You need somebody, I feel... He's got some lines on his face and everything. He's not like a model hot. He's just like, that's a gruff motherfucker. And you definitely have a chance in switching over to go back to kind of more of the traditionally handsome, like, Bond style. Yeah. So I think anybody that could go there. Something interesting that I didn't know after you brought it up, but when I was talking about in kind of the distant future, I

don't want to sound, this is, I don't really know how to say it, but I don't think you could ever really fit Bond into a female role just because of the stereotype and the archetype of the character. Yeah, and no time

to die because Bond was officially retired in that. There was another 007 and 007 got assigned to let's see, I can't remember what her name was.

The actor is like actress? You just do actor now. Oh. You can just actor now. Really? Yeah, Lashana Lynch as Nomi.

She's the new 007. She was assigned the 007 number. So I think that might have been them dipping their toes to find out if that character, how that character tested and everything like that. I'm in no way saying that like there are a bunch of examples of like women secret

agent like salt um I fad back I can't like name a bunch of them but there's a bunch of look at the black widow franchise I know that's technically not a secret agent and everything but like it's a popular character so it's not saying that women can't handle action rules what I'm saying is like make make one for that a woman and everything like that a bond adjacent for a female I feel like would be a movie that I would go see 10 times out of 10 as well. Exactly. Like don't try to just like shoehorn something in because like make it its own thing. Like why would you say because then everyone is because it's bond, everyone is comparing it to previous bond.

So you're automatically going to have an issue. I have no, I don't give a shit like what race bond is or anything like that. If you could find a woman that would make a believable bond and then I could believe can put herself into these actions situations and all that kind of stuff, that's why I like Daniel Craig so much. Then I can actually kind of believe that he could be. that person. Yeah. But put anyone in that role, I think Eldris Elba would have been awesome in that role. I'm sure there's a bunch of other people that could line up.

I'm just hoping they're going to put out something sooner rather than later. Yeah, they kind of need to nail down somebody pretty soon because if they don't nail down somebody soon, we're looking at like 2026, 28, like a long time out. But when you brought up the daughter, if we. could get something like 10 years out. No. No? You wouldn't want that?

Have her be? Not, not Bond is 007, but is like the adjacent like female version of an MI6. No. The only reason I'm saying that is because in that world, Bond is not like ridiculous and everything to the point where her mother would ever allow her to ever do anything like that or like would keep her away from that life as much as possible. You don't think it's just ingrained in her DNA. No. No.

Okay. I would not feel good about that. I would feel about as good about that as if they did a bond series like you were saying earlier. I can't do it. It can't be a weekly thing. I'm not even shitting you. I will not be surprised if there is some type of bond adjacent series that's called like double O's. In the next few years, there's enough fucking streaming services out buying rights for all this kind of stuff that if they did,

a spinoff of what other double O missions are and like other double O agents and then just have cursory mentions of like 007 or something like this guy's on like bonds on mission or something like that that will be your say I'm putting it down right now we can go back and listen to this within two to three years we will have a streaming series like called double O's or something like that

it's gross I don't like that or license licensed to kill or some shit I think that it's such a there could be bond fatigue with that. And that's, it's kind of like getting excited for like the, um, buddy, this is the,

this is the British version of comics, man. This is what, this is kind of, and I'm not saying they don't have other stuff, but I feel like this is like British, you know, England's answer to superheroes.

And he is. It's a great character. I just feel like the over exposure is not. No, no, no, no, no,

no, I'm saying people in positions to do this are not concerned with overexposure. They can get a season or two out of it. Just to cash in. Yeah. All right, man. This has been a long one, but it's been fun of shit. Yeah.

I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as we did. Bond is just a, he's a fun guy. He's a guy's guy to the fullest extent of it. But he's, I mean, to be the fifth largest franchise for films is, it's impressive. It's doing something entertaining. Yeah, I think he flies under the radar. I think in the world of superheroes, when a new bond one comes out,

it's kind of like, ooh, it's something different. It's a palate cleanser almost. It's like, let's see someone actually, like, get beat the fuck up when they get shot at and everything. Yeah. All right, guys, well, thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time.

Peace. All right, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for joining us for another episode. If you like what you heard, hit that subscribe and like button. Follow us. If you didn't like what you heard, still hit that anyway,

because we'll probably cover something in the future that you do like. Please follow us on our social media. Adam, hit them with it. Our Instagram is historically high pod, historically high POD, and we are on Twitter at historically high. That's historically H-I. All right. And if you guys want to send in any feedback suggestions, hit us upon those two, or you can even do it on Gmail. It's historically high podcast at gmail.com.

Thanks again. Peace.