Historically High - The History of Middle Earth: J R R Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

We're packing a bowl of Fantastical History to sooth your weary mind for the next 3 and 1/2 hours...yeah that's not a typo, sorry about 27 minutes into this thing I blackout into a nerd trance and I don't come to for another 3 hours. This isn't just the lore you're somewhat familiar with, we go deep, so so very deep, maybe too deep? But I digress, that's what JRRT would have done and dammit this is about him. We've got all the hits from the Years of the Lamps, the Years of the Trees. the 1st Age, the 2nd Age, and yes you guessed it, the 3rd Age. This is one to get stoned and do some housework too, if you know you know. Support the show Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's the fact that you pretty much given me free reign to have a captive audience just to talk about whatever I want to for the next like, I don't know, this might be like three hours. All right. Why do you think I came over early? Yeah, let's get it on. As Miles Lane once said, let's get it on. I'm taking you to Middle Earth, buddy. But not just the stuff like we're talking about everything. from the time that the world was created

till the end. To the end of the journey, essentially. The journey, you say? Yes. So that's why I wanted you to find your most Gandalf the gray or... Yeah, pretty close. Hobbiddy smoking device or anything.

Yeah, we're gonna... I'm just excited, man. I'm happy. If you're excited, I'm excited, because I know it's going to be good. Okay. So one of the things we have... have in here, just kind of starting

at the beginning. Most of this stuff, not until we get to the very end, is it going to be more generally known that was covered by like the movies. But I'm taking you through like the entire like Cimarellion creation of the universe,

all that shit. There's no movies here. This is reality. This is the world that we... The documentaries that have been made. No, I'm referring to the documentaries that have been made. There we go. Yes. Documentaries. So, first, there was nothing.

And then this guy named Eru Aluvitar. Now, I understand that these names probably need a lot more flourish, but I'm just going to be pronouncing them or trying to pronounce them in the way that I'm reading them. So they might sound a little trashy. What's the language of origin? Well, the language is essentially, like, this is a divine language that I'm trying to even pronounce here. Because we're talking about essentially the god.

So a mere mortal such as yourself probably wouldn't be able to pronounce them as accurately. Exactly. Just how they're known essentially to the people on Arda, the world we're talking about here. So, Eruiluvitar, he creates the Einor. Smoke this little hobbits. So our boy Aero He creates the I've got to you okay Yeah I haven't used that thing a long time

It's a lot harder than I remember So he creates the Ianor And the Inor consists of essentially two factions The Valar and the Maiar And one of them Just basically think of them is like Like Different lieutenants

Like different the Valar actually probably a little bit more powerful than the Maiar, but both are kind of divine creations. Go ahead. So one of the Valar, his name is Melkor. He's actually like the top dog out of the Valar. And he kind of gets bored of waiting for Aru to do something because when he creates them, it's just a void. It's nothingness. So he just kind of wandering around the void.

He's fucking trying to kick hands over and see what's going on. And he's looking for basically this thing called the Secret Fire. And the secret fire essentially is what Aru has that allows him to create life. It's basically what he used to then create them. So he's like, I want to get in on this shit too. I'm looking for the secret fire. And during kind of his wanderings, he starts to get some like rebellious ideas about how everyone should have the power to do this and whatnot. So Aru actually had power to create?

Yeah. Okay. So Aru alone has this. So he has the whole time Melkor is looking for it. The only thing that the Val-R can do, not the only thing, but basically when it comes to creation of life, they can't create it, but they can, like, corrupt or twist it, kind of to their will and how they want to do it. So it has to be essentially created first, and then they can kind of have their way with it. So they're all hanging down in this place called the timeless hall. And sorry, the, um, Eru kind of gets together for like a jam session, like jam band type session. He's like, we're going to sing the universe into existence. So he's like, I wrote us, I wrote us some music, starts passing out the sheet music. All of them starts singing the universe into existence. Well, Melkor start singing his own tune.

And so, I got some of my throat. So he's basically kind of like singing his own music. And then some of the Aynor, next to him probably like some of the Mayer, the lower guys, they kind of see him doing his thing. And they're like, that sounds pretty good. We're going to go and join in with that. So they start singing it too. and it basically becomes like a rap battle between Eru and most of the Aynor and then Melkor

in his little section. So every time Aru just kind of like smiles and then starts another verse. And then Melkor is trying to like sing his shit on top of that. Basically he's trying to sew discord. Another verse, Aru's singing his, gets everyone to go. Melkor kind of, and they go back and forth a little bit. finally, Aru just finishes and basically just does a final note and a mic drop. And basically keeps, he tells Melkor and everything, he kind of looks at him because he knows what he's trying to do. And he's like, I'm going to go ahead and keep your stuff in there, the way we just sang the universe into existence. And basically, I'm going to do it to prove a point. He's like, I know you're rebellious.

You're one of my creations and everything. Aru is like all knowing. He's all seeing. He's omnipotent. the valour and the myar they you know they're brilliant in their own right and everything

but they don't see everything they almost have like a human element about like their roles and their thought processes and stuff like that they're able to be corrupted and they're not like they're not they're independent beings

they're independent beings but they're not all benevolent yeah and so everybody kind of has free will and so every kind of takes him to the side and he says listen

I know what you're trying to do, man. And I'm going to leave your stuff in there. I'm going to give you your tracks on the album. Just to prove a point that my whole plan takes into account all your little plan, and it's going to turn out my way in the end, despite what you want to do to try to mess it up. And so Melkor's secretly pissed about this, but he is like, okay, yeah, whatever. And what they sing into existence is this planet called, it's the world called Arda. So Melkor begs him and he's like, hey man, let me go down there for you to Arda. I'm your second.

I'll make sure everything stays on the up and up. And the whole rule is, is once the Ainor get down there, Aru is just like, he's off in his timeless halls doing his thing. Once they go down there, he's kind of like hands off. So he allows him to go down there, but Aynor can't like go down and then just like come back. So some stay with Aru, some go down to Arda.

So Aru, father. Yep. children go down, not all the children? Nope. Some Valar, some myar, and everything. The others that sung this discord into existence on this planet? Some of them went down. Okay, so not just the one?

No. Okay, got you. So there's quite a few of them that go down here. And once he gets there, he has the intention to rule and basically arise with the other Valar and then just drops the facade and basically pulls a captain, Philipson just is like, look at me. I'm the captain now. I'm running this shit. It's a good move.

And Manway is actually the lead Valar. Now he's not as powerful as Melkor is, but basically he has all the other Valor behind him. And he's the one that Aru was like, this is our lead guy. He's the Lord of like the Air and the Air and the Mountains and all that kind of shit. So he's pretty benevolent or benevolent. Jesus. Benevolent. Gets able to go ahead and get along with everybody.

He's the kind of leader you want. Yeah. And so he's actually Melkor's brother. They're not all brother and sister, though, because some of them end up do getting married. So they're not like brothers. It's weird. They can do that, but it might be a Game of Thrones type thingy. And all creation stories, shit gets a little moll.

Yeah, exactly. So he calls in the Einor backup, and Melkor is like, okay, I can't. Can't handle the heat. I'm out. So he basically like leaves completely like Melkor? Yeah, Melkor just leaves off the map. He goes out into like the void like outside the world.

Crazy thing about this is right now the world is flat. It's not a sphere. So basically what it looks like is it looks like a donut. And in the middle of the donut is a lake. In the middle of the lake is an island. So that's kind of set up for the world. So everyone can kind of understand it. The I-NOR are busy spending their entire

entire time building this world and preparing it for what they call the children of Louvatar. And the children of Louvatar, you'd think it would be the Einor, because that's who it creates, but the children are actually going to be the races of men and the elves. So the Einor's job is to come down here and basically build the world that they're going to be able to inhabit and live in and survive in. Are the elves not human? You're not here? Nope. They're not human? No, the elves are. Oh, you just separated them out. Well, they're completely different as far as like, cultures and their life, their physiologies, they're different species. But they were still sung into existence by Erru?

Yes. Eru, whatever his name is. Okay. So they were a part of the first divine plan. Yes. Just in their own kind of way. The whole reason I think he creates this world is for them. Okay.

Oh, really? Like specifically for the elves? No, no, no. For elves and men. Okay. The children of the Louvatar, both children and, or both elves and men. Okay. So basically why the

While the Aynor Are trying to build all this shit Melkor just keeps popping in and fucking it up Like they're building mountains And they're building oceans and doing all this kind of stuff And Melkor will just sneak in Like after working they're done And just like kick shit over and like ruin mountains and everything

The size of these beings is kind of dependent On what they want to actually be at the time I don't know if it's a thing where if they're too large And they do something they don't they use up all their power And then they have to rest or something like that But these are like full on primordial being. Like when I say they're designing a world, the, the land that ends up being reshaped into it is, like, comparable to the size of the United States, continental United States. So I'm going to use a lot of references to that to let you know geography about where stuff is happening. Perfect. So I can name states that where stuff is and everything. So that'll be helpful. If you know what the states are. If you know what the states are. So finally, word gets back to Aruh, that Melkor is down here just being a fuck wit. and messing with all this kind of stuff.

So he sends down this dude, Tolkienus. Now, Tolkienus is like the Arru version of like the god of war. He likes to fight. He's the best fighter. And when it showed like illustrations of him, think of like a Thor dude, except shirtless with tattoos all over him. So, okay.

Yeah. So he... Is the name Tolkienus a play on maybe somebody who helped create this that was maybe trying to... Maybe that guy was the guy that actually found out, about this history and then wrote it all down. I think that's what you're getting at.

Yeah, like maybe he wanted to insert himself. And he took his name, maybe like a ghostwriter or something like that, used the name. So Tolkis comes down, Melkor sees him, Tolkis just laughs in his face and fucking Melkor runs. So after Melkor leaves, 14,363 years go by. And the Valor finally complete art. They're like, gloves down, dust off the hands, work is done. God took seven days. These guys took 14,000 years.

You know, they had someone just coming. Who knows how much that guy fucked it up. And, you know, probably not 14,000 years. But they had to get it just right. Well, yeah. They were also reconstructing Malkus's fuck up. So, okay, I see that. So to provide light to the world, they raised two lamps.

Now, these, just think of, like, the thing that's hard to kind of grasp about this is, like, the enormity of stuff. Yeah, those little things. It's proportions. It's proportions that like I don't think people have ever seen or can see. So like the pillar, just like imagine the pillar of these lamps is like larger than the largest mountain and higher than anything you've ever seen or raises it up beyond levels you can't see. But it provides both moonlight when it's nighttime sunlight. And they're kind of space far apart from each other on separate north and south of this land.

And this works because it's a donut shape. It's not a sphere. so there's no light and dark. So one light starts going out during the night time, the moon lights up, and that's what provides them. They just kind of pulse. Like street lamps, sort of. Exactly.

Okay. Yeah, when the night one comes on, you got to get home. Your mom's going to be calling you. So Melkor, he actually has gained some of the Maier as his followers. They kind of like what he's doing. He's a powerful guy. He's the most powerful of all the valor.

And so he's using them as spies. And one of those followers at this time is most, most likely Sauron. Ooh. And Sauron is the name that he was actually given once he, you know, they discovered he was, he was on Melkor's side and, you know, all the evil shit. I'm trying to remember what his name was beforehand, but I can't remember. He was probably also one of the ones that sang with him. So he's using some of these guys as spies.

And so after all the work is complete, how do you celebrate? Tolkis wants to get married. he was dating a nice other a nice valour girl i think her name isessa or isa he's like listen we've been dating for 14,000 years we're finally done with work let's get hitched it'll be a fucking party tolkes rode the whole thing out he was just down there running defense the entire time yeah he can't go back okay so yeah you said it was tough to go back and forth yeah and that's why uh he might have met a girl true yeah doesn't want to go back a little summer love mm-hmm so they get married and Tolka's party is so goddamn hard that he falls asleep.

And I'm guessing when these guys fall asleep, it's like a slumber. A slumber, yes. So at this point, Melkor returns. He comes over what they call the walls of night or some shit like that. Yeah. And when he comes in, he basically just completely like fucks up. Well, before he starts destroying stuff, he's like, I got to have a place to like a safe place here,

so I don't have to keep bouncing off into the void. Bolting into the darkness, yeah. So he builds it. this fortress called Utumno. And the way it describes him building this is just like he was digging into like the earth itself and basically creating like mountains in this world in Arda are, what are like the Alps and Everest and everything? But those are just the common mountains.

They're all enormous. So he carves this fortress under this. And the fortress is I'm trying to think of something to even describe it to. Like you know, the mountains outside right out there. to make a fortress that span miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles. Like the super jail and the second Deadpool. More. More.

I'm trying to think of how to describe it. The enormity of this mile, like... It's like a mountain range fortress, sort of? Imagine the fortress almost being the width of half of our city, but then like built into the mountain. With just like gates and towers and all this kind of stuff. He's a demigod. I mean, he's kind of a god. He can build and do all this kind of stuff.

So he builds this fortress, make sure it's locked up tight, and then he busts in and destroys the lamps. There's so much power in these lamps, basically, that when he knocks him over and destroys them, all of the daylight lamp, I guess, caused like fire destruction just over the whole entire planet, basically, like part of the continent. And then I think when he destroys the other one, it does something, it's because the only water was in the lake.

It's got to have something to do with there was water under. Basically what it does is it reshapes the world, all of the destruction, basically of something so powerful that it just reshapes the world. And what it does is it basically the best way I can describe it is it turns the whole land with that little lake in the middle and it turns it into continental United States with some of Canada and Alaska. where it reaches across the Bering Strait. And then the other side ends up being kind of like, on the other side of the Pacific Ocean, you have, imagine Japan wasn't there or was like closer to China.

And then you have like the Korean Peninsula and all that like China where that's at. So the destruction was almost like a pangea type. Yeah. Okay. World shaving event. And so the land that ends up being over where essentially on the other side of the Pacific

where like China would be, that's going to be Amman. And that's where all the Valar end up going. They're like, we don't want to put up with this shit from fucking Melkor anymore. We're going to go and still over here. There's going to be an ocean separating us. This isn't like these guys can just like fucking fly or anything. They still have to like travel like people.

They can grow to enormous sizes, but they're not walking across an entire ocean. It takes them time. They have to travel by boat and everything or walk. Once they're there, they lost a little bit of their godliness. And that's why it would take so long if they were trying to find like when Melchor returned and was building his fortress, it's not like they just could be like, here's some fucking hammer and on an anvil and be like oh what's melchor up to it's a continent it's a continent bigger than a continent because it was whole at that time so what they do is

they ended up creating and again the world is still flat at this point now it's just like spread out and they create two trees and they call them the two trees of allanore and the trees themselves are lar i'm trying to think of like size wise imagine a redwood um But more of like an oak, like big leaves, big span. Those big as African trees. You've got to dial it up. I was going to say a redwood. Think of the biggest redwood that you're driving cars through.

And then times that by maybe like 100. That's a pretty big tree. Yes, enormous. You're not familiar with the Star Wars universe, I'm aware, but on the wookie planet of Kashik, it's a forest planet. Yeah, I kind of remember. Yes, they have trees so big that there are multiple towns within the branches of the trees. They're so far spread apart and everything. there could be cities built on the boughs and the branches of the trees.

So when I was younger, my older, older cousin had an Ewak village toy from like that's probably late 70s, early 80s maybe. It would have been like, had to have been like a little bit later in the 80s because that's when Return of the Jedi came out. That's when the Ewok's were introduced. I played in that Ewok Forest Village for so long and just think, about that like this sort of lays into proportion a little bit for me of like an actual these places were where they built in the trees sort of or was the tree was the forest separate from like where the village was are you talking about the iwok still no yes they don't live in the two trees the two trees are simply to replace the lamps okay so it wasn't a forest

it was just the two trees to replace the land even if there was a forest the forest would look like a fucking grass growing up at the like even pine trees would look like grass growing up at the roots of these trees that big. They're providing the world with light. Okay. So Melkor is still getting light from... Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So basically at some point, once they create the two trees and he sees light come on, it's basically like someone flipped on the switch and he's like, oh shit, they made something new.

So the... Oh, hold on. Got to catch my place. Okay. So this is now called the Year of the Trees once these are created. That makes sense. Yep. Melkor's over in Middle Earth and all the Val-R and most of the Maillard that aren't serving him are over on basically in the west on amen amen i don't know what so basically melchord uses his time he builds up strength the mayer that followed him with the exception of sauron he basically converts them or they convert themselves through you know his sorcery whatever

he discovers into what are called the ballrogs if you remember in the first in fellowship the first documentary the first documentary it shows the um it looks almost like a giant minotaur with flaming wings and it's on fire. Yes. That is a ballrog. And that's what they turned into? Yes. Okay.

And I think he has like four of them. And then he also creates another fortress that is actually closer to the coast. So basically his fortress of Utumno, that is where, and now I can get to the United States reference, the continental United States. The Atumno would be in, probably in like the decumno. Codas. Like, Midwest. Yeah.

And then Angbad, this new fortress that he creates as well, is I want to say it's larger. It is in basically Montana. Imagine it right at the border of Montana and Canada, huge mountain range that then extends all the way up through Canada. It's at the front of this mountain range built into the mountain. It's so big that when he is removing the earth to dig it out, it's so big that that earth, when it's piled on top and all the slag from digging through all. the minerals and stuff, creates three giant volcanoes that are on top, and his blast furnaces

feed into the chambers of the volcanoes for all of his, like, war materials and all that kind of stuff. He digs into the mountain, creates huge throne. Like, it's enormous. So, this is where he's mining his resources, too. Possibly. I mean, I assume, yeah, he's creating weapons of war and everything. He's got to arm, he really doesn't have a lot of guys that he's arming right now, because he doesn't have any soldiers. We're going to get to that. So he puts Angbad, he puts Saron, in charge of being bad. Sarton's his number two. That's probably why he doesn't turn him into a ballrog. He wants him. He doesn't want him a servant, servant.

He wants him maybe a little bit more independent to be able to do his own thing. Same plan a little bit. Yep. So the first elves actually, again, they were set to wake up at a certain time, I believe. It wasn't just determined when Aru was like, everything's ready down there and elves. I think they were set to appear at a certain place at a predetermined time. regardless of what happened down there. So technically they were supposed to come into a world

that was shaped like a donut and be whole and already ready by the Valar and all that kind of stuff. Well, the elves end up waking up in Middle Earth around this lake. And there's like maybe two Valar or Maire there. And one of them, his name is Oromay. Oromay is the hunter.

And basically, instead of going over to Amon with the rest of Valar, Orme is like, no, no, nah. Melchor's going to keep creating all these crazy beasts and everything like that or corrupting all these beasts and turning them, I'm going to hunt him down. So he just spends his time riding around and hunting these things down. And I think he has a hound with him. Like just for funzies or to try to keep them from getting over to...

A little bit of both, I think. I think a little bit of both with this guy. Okay, so he's sort of a line of defense, but he's also taking pleasure in it. Yes. Okay. Yep. So the elves awaken, and I think there's only 144 of them that awaken around this lake. and at kind of the same time, Orme actually finds them, Melkor does. And I think Melkor might find them just a hair before because he takes some of them and then he puts like terror into the other ones.

So much so when Orme finds them, him being also like, you know, a Val-R-M-A-R, they don't really trust him from the get-go. They're scared of him. No, it's stranger danger. So what Melkor ends up doing with some of these elves is he turns them into the orcs. now My favorite historical beings I think Yes

I really like orcs Now about orcs There's you know they're mysterious man No one quite knows a lot about them And no one really knows how There's some theories on how they might breed Which is going to become important in here When we're dealing with armies of the scope we're going to talk about

And You mean like There's two There's two philosophical ways to think about this And it's going to either make the issue heavier Or it's just going to allow us move past it and just enjoy the, enjoy the history of this. Either he corrupts these things, turns them into orcs and you have both male and female, and he's basically having to force the

female orcs to breed at insanely rapid rates to basically fill the ranks. Just basically breeding females to create his army. Yes. Okay. So, and then that would also mean that when all of them end up getting slaughtered and killed and everything like that, you're killing women and technically children, even by the good guys. So I like to, the other, the other word on the street about how the orcs, the other word on the street about how the orcs were bred is once he discovered the life in the elves and everything like that,

he found a way to twist it, but then also breed orcs through like magical means and like some type of sorcery in the earth. And that's why he was able to create them so quickly. I like the first way better because I just, I just picture the end. It makes it that much more sinister.

Well, yeah. And if these are breeding women, I like to think that it's like the Amazon position that they're getting impregnated. Have you ever seen the Amazon position? Have you ever seen an orc though? Yeah, I know the Amazon position, but some Amazon's are attractive. This would not be, can you imagine just like the sounds from like these orc fucking rape factories? I don't think it's that way. I think they bring the orcs in. And the females are the ones that are doing all the work and probably scaring the shit at them. Like breeding may not be the best thing for these males because they're a little scared of going to Breedown.

well basically the valar find out what melchor is doing to eru's children and they're like fuck that we're not gonna we're not letting this happen so they end up coming over to middle earth and when they're coming over you would imagine they land in basically like Oregon Washington that's kind of the coastal area Pacific Northwest closer to Montana but not right on it yep so not gonna go over a ton of facts about this because there's a lot more stuff in front of it but the Valor end up winning. And some of them go over and start guarding the remainder of the elves. But it basically

takes him a two-year siege of a tumno. Even the valor and the mair. And there's no elves fighting with them right now. It's just the valor and the mire

that were there. So two-year siege of a tombno. Tolkus finally fucking either breaks down the door or finds Melkor. He's hiding

in one of his lower levels and chains his ass up. Now there's a valour name Al-A-L-W-I. It's a U-U-L-E, but it's got like a flourish on the U, and I think it's Al-UL-UL-U. Al-U-L is like the, a good comparison would be Hephaestus, like the smith of the Val-R.

Hephaestus. In the Greek pantheon, he's the one that creates all the lightning bolts for Zeus, all the weaponry, Hades-Pitchfork, he's the one that basically builds shit. That guy's name was Festis? Haphstus. Oh, Huff-F-S-S-S-S-D-D-D-S-D-D-D-D-D-R-S-D-D-D-S-D-D-D-S-D-D-R-S-R. So, Tolkis chains his ass up with these chains that Allul made. And when Melkor gets back, they drag his ass back across the, they call it the Sundering Sea, drag his ass back across,

throw him in front of Manway, and he's begging for pardon. Manway's like, fuck your ass. So he gets 3,000 years in the halls of Mandos. And Mandos is another one of the Val-R. He created the halls of Mandos. basically the halls of mandos are also i believe where if the children of al of aluvatar uh die maybe just the elves which are they're going to be known as the eldar they go their spirits go to the halls of mandos it's kind of like the afterlife but it's inescapable without permission so that's why

they send um melchor there for 3,000 years is melchor or are they immortal or are they still immortal. So is 3,000 years like a life sentence? These guys, the Aynor, can't die. Okay, so they are immortal. So 3,000 years isn't a lifetime. It's maybe a blink of a He just, he just sits in there stewing and plotting his revenge. But he knows there will be a release time. Yeah. He will get out. Yep. So basically 3,000 years go by. And during the 3,000 years, the progress that happens kind of in middle earth, the elves wake up, um, Orame is.

is able to convince some of them like, hey, you guys should follow me. I want to go ahead and take you over to where you can be protected, where you should have been protected anyway had this condombed hole. And we're going to take you over to Amman and you can live with the Valar. So over time, he ends up getting them across. Basically, he takes them from the place where they end up coming together or like being created is, shit, man, it's like in what I would consider like the, not the Virginia is the Carolinas. It's close to, like, the farther east.

There's lands a little bit further to the east, but it really didn't. There's no maps or anything. But they were across the sea from... Yeah, and I mean, they got to cross the whole continent. So, or maybe... They got to cross the continent or they got across the continent or they got across the whole continent because they're over in, like, the Carolina. So they got to cross all the way to the west and then hop a boat in the west and take it over to...

Okay, so they were going like through the Pacific Ocean. Yes. Okay. So they were crossing over Melkor's area? He was... there anymore, but when they were actually like taking him out of an Atumo, which they leveled after they got him out of there, um, they didn't find Sauron or the ballrogs. So they went ahead and hid and they were probably hiding it in bad where Sauron was. So he still has guys there that are waiting, that are building up strength that are still there to do his bidding. And they're expecting him to get out at some point. Three thousand years is nothing. Yeah. They didn't know how long he was going to be in there, but they'll wait for as long as they have to. This sounds like a Saddam Hussein situation. You got it. They took him away. They took him away. They leveled his palace, but his sons were still kind of on the loose and could potentially start causing some shit. Yeah.

So after 3,000 years, he's like, hey, I don't know if he knocks on the door of the halls of Mandoos. He's like, hey, I kind of want to talk to Manway. Can I talk to him? I'm sorry. Gets in front of Manway and is like, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Basically, spills is, you know, let me out, please. I made some mistakes.

I'll be good. I'll be good. I want to be a better man for you. Manway's like, hey, bro. you know, I don't know if you had a rough or anything like that, but we'll go and let's shout. But you're on probation and almond. You can't leave. Can't go back to Middle Earth.

You're on house arrest. Yep. We're putting a tracking bracelet on your ankle. He's got it around his ankle. So what he ends up deciding to do is he's like, well, shit. By the time he gets out, Orame has already brought over like three different groups of elves. Now, even though there were 144, I don't know how many Melchore originally. took, but because there has been so much time, as they've been traveling, they've also

been setting up some establishments, some of them, a couple of them stayed in areas, but then grew their population. Elves just breed like normal. You know, you got to stick it in to get something out. Grandma, grandpa style. Yep. Okay. So they eventually, during Melchor's incarceration, they get three groups of elves to end up over, or may get some over to Cali. They get picked up somewhere in the Los Angeles area. He shuttles them over. In order to shuttle them over, he asks for the valor of the ocean.

His name is Ulma or Olem. I'll end up getting to it on one of these flashcards later. They're like, hey, we got a lot of people that need to come over. So he's like, let me send my island. So he drives an island over, loads a whole bunch of them up. At this point, like, some of the elves stay in the, let's call it, on the west or east side of the Missouri. Some of them make it over.

mountain range that I would say where the Missouri River is, and that's called the Misty Mountains. It's enormous. It was raised by Melkor, specifically to try to keep Orme, kind of like to impede his travels. Okay. It's enormous. There's a, there's a pass, though, through it. And so he has to lead them through that. Then he has to lead them over another mountain range, I think, called the Blue Mountains. He's losing elves, not like, just because they're wanting to settle in places. It's like, ooh, what's that over there? And then a group will go break off. And then by the time he gets back, He turns around, he looks, he's like, where's the fucking half of them go?

He ends up getting there with three groups. One of them is called, ends up being called the Noldor. One of them is the Freyar or something like that. I'll get to the actual name. So, pardon me if I'm getting this. There's a lot of names to remember. You could be making half these up, and I have no idea. And another one are the Tisseri, and they're like the ocean-going ones.

So once Oromé gets him on the island, shuttles them back over to Amman, the ones that like the ocean. They go through like a little chain of islands right off the coast and like, ooh, we like this. Drop us off here. We like to build ships and shit. So they drop them off there. They bring another group in. They get them closer to almond, get them on the land and everything. And basically there's one group that's like, we're going to stay here and build a city. And then there's a group called the Noldor. And they're like, we're going to build this city too. So they allow them to establish cities. They're going to basically have them live there. They want them to live there. Elv cities? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I don't even know.

I mean, I'm sure the Valar and the Meyer have to have cities, but they let them build their own cities. They're going to be smaller in scale for them and everything. The thing about the elves, too, is the elves are also immortal. Okay? Yeah. They age, but I think they get to a certain age, like prime adulthood, and then they stop aging. Prime adulthood's probably like 10,000 years, 5,000 years maybe? Yeah, I think you're probably, 5,000 would probably be good.

Okay. They might get up to adulthood a little faster, but then between, like, your 20s and to your 40. Yeah. You probably stop at 40, I would imagine, just based on graphics. You know, renderings I've seen. Thousands of the new hundred kind of deal. Yeah, exactly. Still looking good. Everything's tight. All right.

The elves always seem to keep it tight. I have not seen an out-of-shaped elf. Except for their feet. Just bad feet. I think you're thinking of someone else. Oh, okay. Yeah, the elves, I think, are like, top to bottom, like, pretty good. Okay. So they end up building their cities and everything. and once Melkor gets out, he's like, not a lot to do around here.

He's like, I want to see if I can fuck with these elves. So he's trying to corrupt these elves. Well, he has this plan that he's been thinking up for the last 3,000 years. And after he gets out, he looks at the groups of elves. And he's like, the ones that sail, he's like, they're kind of weak. They're not going to serve my purpose. Looks at the other ones. And he's like, they're a little harder to get in with.

They're a little less trusting. But the Noldor, they love to learn. They wanted to learn from any of the Valar or the, I nor that they possibly could. Some of them were taught by Allul for like smithing and stuff like that. Melkor came in, he's like, I can give you guys some information on stuff.

I'm pretty powerful. I made some mistakes, but hey, learn from me. You know, some of those passes that you guys took to get here, I was the one that made those. Yeah.

So we're going to go ahead and start with the dude and his name is Feynor. I'm going to zero in on a couple of these historical figures, but there's going to be a lot of names. I'm going to throw at you, so just have me stop if you want me to try to explain who they come from, but because the elves are immortal, their lineages, you know, they have children, but these characters are in play for thousands of years, some of them.

So basically, the Noldor, their first taught how to Smith by Ayul, and there was this one guy, his name was Finway. And Finway, he's the half-brother, oh, sorry, Finway, he has a kid with this elf, this hot lady elf. Hot Lady Elf. Hot Lady Elf. And I'm not going to, I didn't write her name down because I think she ends up dying right after the birth of, after Finway, she gives birth to Phenor. And then she passes. Finway's a man about town.

He gives it a reasonable amount of time, probably a hundred years or so. And then he's like a time for me to move on. And so he sold my wild oats. Yeah. And so he ends up settling down with the lady and he has a few more kids. And he has another kid named Fingolfan and then Finarfin. Bad at naming. Maybe it's just, they just want to keep it close.

So maybe they can just say Finn and it applies to both the kids. I'm not sure. So these are the half-brothers of Feor. Or Phenor. Phenor is like obsessed with building shit. He wants to be the greatest smith. He learns from Al Yule and then he also learns from Melkor as well. He lets Melkor teach him some shit.

He's so good. He's known essentially. is the greatest smith outside of the aynor ever so he creates these things and they're called the cimmerils that's where we get the historical name for the textbook the simerlion okay okay the simurals are basically these three like circular gems and i think i want to say they're probably about the size of like a baseball and they he basically crafts them and then is able to fill them with the light of the two trees through some type of means i don't this is like divine type of like stuff i think he has one of the Mayer or the I-Nor help him fill it up.

Is your mic on? Yeah, my mic's on. Okay. Okay. Is your, are you not, are you not getting me? It's just not picking up through the headphones. Oh, okay. Yeah, looks like it's on.

Okay. So he crafts, crafts these simmerils, and, you know, the elves are basically just like people. Some of them are jealous. Some of them are greedy. some of them are cocky. You know, they have all their faults and everything. Yeah, they're human or mortal. But they have human emotions.

Okay. And everything. Maybe that's the best way to describe it. So during this time, he's creating these. Melcourt keeps kind of so and lies among the Noldor and everything. And he kind of is not turning them against the Val-Ard, but he's dropping little breadcrumbs about like how they're really the ones in charge. And, you know, why did they take Middle Earth away from,

from the elves and everything like that and forced them to come over here. Just little snippets of like maybe you should be disgruntled about this. You know, I've been to Middle Earth. It's pretty cool. You guys should have stayed there and checked it out.

He's working. He's got a little civil rights coming on. Well, Fainor also becomes so obsessed with his work, like these simurals that he makes, that he thinks that his half-brother actually wants him, wants them, and basically threatens him with a sword.

And the Val-ar like, fucking ease up dude like that that's not cool here he wasn't trying to steal your shit and so they actually exile him to this place called forminose and it's just another city that's outside of the main noldor elf city he's like and finway is like i feel bad like my kid lost his mom now he's getting exiled he goes with him yeah yeah so he goes with him well melkor is like man they're they're shaft in you so he shows up and forminose knocks on the door and he's like, hey, Fainor, what's going on, man? I'm here to see how you're doing.

He's like, fuck you. He's like, I know that you had something to do with this. You're whispering all that shit in my ear. You made me crazy about my fucking jewels. He's like, get the fuck out of here. I want nothing to do with you. So he ends up leaving and basically Melkor kind of goes south and is just wandering around.

He's still trying to find a way to enact his plan. It hasn't worked out with the elves and everything. and he runs into this creature, basically this dark creature that probably came in at some point into the world and existed in the world due to the discourse that they sing into the world. And the creature's name is Angoliath. And basically she, her preferred shape, she's a shapeshifter, but she always tries to take the shape of like a giant spider, enormous spider. The scariest thing possible. Yeah, why wouldn't you try to take that shape? You know the sports complex?

Down there. That big? Yes. She would span the entire width that that supports complex with her legs. She's enormous. She's bigger than Melkor. Nothing like the one in the Wild Wild West. We're talking Super Spider.

Yes. Okay. Yes. Just a evil creature that takes the form of a spider. So he convinces her because she wants power. He's like, I know in place. They got these trees. And if you come with me, we could probably knock these things out

and you could take all the light out. of them and drink them. And she's like, ooh, that sounds fucking good. And so she's a little wary. She's like, I don't think I can take on the Valar though. And he's like, listen, he's like, I got you, I know how to sneak in there. We'll go and do that. So one, it's a night in which

I think like they're distracted by something. There's like a celebration or something like that. And basically Melkor and Angoliath sneak around. The trees are visible from the main norlor city, like they're capital city. You can see them way way in the distance because they're so huge. But basically Melkor goes up to him and like stabs into the tree and all of like the golden sap and light sap is coming out of it and a goliad just drinks all of it grabs up on the tree and just sinks her teeth into it and starts drinking all of it as she's drinking this she's growing larger and more powerful and she's injecting the venom into the tree so they can't be rescued either so the trees essentially become infected and they go dark and the light's gone from the land and as they do this basically he's like no we got to fucking book it let's get out of here so I mentioned earlier

earlier like Alaska and the Bering Strait and everything. You know how there used to be that land bridge there that actually existed? Up in the very, very north, there is a land bridge that goes from Amon way up around and then comes way back down through Middle Earth. Kind of like how Alaska come down through Canada and into like Washington. Okay. So on his way up there, because Formanos is north of where the trees were, he stops by Forminose, knocks on the door. Finway answers, this isn't really how to happen, but this how I envision it happening. Finway answers the door,

Melkor is like, Surprise bitch, and knives him. He kills him. He's like, I've come for the simmerils. Takes him, grabs a whole bunch of his other jewels, all of Fainhor's works that he had and everything, because of course he's not just crafting those. He's crafting other shit. Yeah.

Takes all of that shit in Him and Angolia book it across this land bridge. And it takes them a long time because, of course, they're walking and everything. So finally they end up getting over to, what I would say would be probably like right where Canada meets Washington. He's still quite a ways away from that Montana,

fortress and everything. And as soon as they get over there, Angoliath's like, hey, it looks like we're out of trouble. Fucking dump the stash and let's see what we got. And Melkor's like, okay, she's like, you promised me shit. And he's like, okay, she's huge by this point. She's more powerful than he is. He's probably smart to listen. So yeah. So you know the deal where you put the good shit in your back pocket and then you dump out all the other stuff. And he's like, this is what we got and everything. And she's like, oh yeah, and she's eating all of the fucking gems and everything. She's grown larger. And she's like, where's the simmer? and he's like,

what are you talking about? She's like, give them to me. He's like, yeah, those are going to be mine. She fucking, like, webs him up

and traps him and starts squeezing him and she's going to kill him. So he screams out in pain. Ballrog buddies hear it. And so they fucking jump on the quick and, quick and nasty and get to him

and are able to get to him before she kills him and, like, scare her away with, like, their flaming swords and, like, firewips and everything. And the fact that

that probably, ranked in numbers there. Oh yeah, I mean, she couldn't defeat all of them. But she could take one, but she couldn't take them. She could have taken Melkor. She would have killed him. But the Simmerrills? He kept them.

He was able to keep them. What were the, the Boulcore? The Boulcore that came up, they came up in numbers. Boulog. Bailog. Yeah. They came up in Big Numbers. They came up in Big Numbers.

Okay. Yeah, they end up coming across from the Montana area quickly. Uh-huh. You know, their beings, they can still move pretty quick. and um or like divine beings or whatever and basically scare her off she goes and she ends up setting up shop after she gets scared away let's say she sets up shop i want to say in like Wyoming so right next door but there's still some south wyoming maybe right where it's getting ready to meet nebraska if those touch do those touch i think Wyoming Nebraska do okay so right in that area there's a mountain range

she ends up taking shelter and it actually becomes kind of a haunted place because she starts actually other spiders and everything. So that kind of, the forest around there becomes kind of like a place you don't go. It's like an evil place. So, yeah, the Balrogs come in and after he gets back to AIMBAG, he's like, I'm fucking back. Boss is back in town. He mounts the three cimerales on his crown.

And what this basically does is after Fainor discovers what happened, after, you know, crisis of the two trees going out, Fainor gets back to Forminos. They most, they know who did this. I mean, there's only one being that's able to do this stuff. Things were probably pretty peaceful when Melkor was locked up, but now things are starting to go awry after he's been let out. Oh, yeah. It didn't take him long to fuck it up either. So Fainor gets back, finds out all the shit's gone,

and basically the Valar like, hey, you know, that sucks, man. But you can always, well, he can't make new ones because the trees are gone. They can't just recreate the trees. It took them a lot of power to do it. So, and of course, they're on the ground. They can be killed again. So they're like, we'll scratch off that idea. You know, lamps don't work.

Trees don't work. Phanorn's like, so you're just going to let him get away with that. That's the only remaining light from these trees is in those things. We should go get them back and they're like, man, we're still good over here. We're safe over here. We're just not going to let him come back. We'll make sure. They don't have any light.

Huh? They don't have any light. I'll get to it. Okay. They still, they'll rework some shit. Okay. So Fainer is like, no. No, we're not doing this.

Fainor has like seven or eight sons Maybe even a little bit more at this time And so he's like We're no we're not letting this shit stand So he goes against the Valar He's like we're going to get this shit back and take this guy down I'm going to get my shit back that I want to do it Yeah

So kind of against the Valor's wishes They don't want him to do it They're like we're not going to we're not responsible for what you do We're not going to come help you or any of that shit Like this is you we're telling you not to do this kind of stuff We didn't, you weren't created for this. Well, he has to find a way to get across for him and all of his, you know, sons. And basically he has this Noldoor army that's going to follow him too.

Because he's, he's basically their king. Now that Finnway's gone. Finway was the high lord of them. But since he got stabbed in the Semeroy was that stolen from him. Yep, it passes down to Faynor. So he's, as their king, he's like, we're going to fucking war. Well, the people that owned the boats, the Tisseri, they're like, like, yeah, we're not going to lich borrow boats.

The valor don't want to do that. We're not going to get on the bad side. He's like, give me the fucking boats where we're going to kill you. So he ends up killing a bunch of these guys and stealing their boats. So now the valor are like, fuck, dude, now you're killing like your own people and taking these boats. They haul ass over. They land in, I want to say probably Washington or Oregon. And they set up a camp. Don't even build a city or anything like that.

He's like, we're going straight at him. So Finway basically As soon as they land Or sorry, Fainor As soon as they land He's like, by the way, there is no trip home And he sets the boats on fire That's very short-sighted

Burns all the ships Now at the same time There is another force Like coming over That is actually Noldor as well And I want to say it is his half-brother So Fingulfin and the Northern Elves they're actually coming across,

they miss the boats, but they're coming across that big land bridge too, to support him. And as they're on the land bridge, the fire from the boats is so big, they can see the light in the sky. And Fingulfan is like,

this dude just fucking burned our boats. We can't get home. Unless we walk the land bridge. Unless we walk, and he's already lost a bunch of his people walking. It's like, it's the tundra. Yeah, it's a trek through.

It's like walking through the Arctic. It's not, you know, it's not friendly. And so, So Fingulfan during this time after they start to move in there, he's like, I'm going to actually head back. So I think Fingulfan actually heads back, but still a bunch of like, even his sons, say they're

like, we're going to keep going. And I don't know if it was at this time or it was after the events that are about to happen, but all of Fainor's sons basically take an oath. And it's basically the oath of Fainor. And it's like, regardless of who stands in our way, the oath is we're getting the cimmerils back by any means. It doesn't matter who's holding them. It doesn't matter if they're friendly and they don't give them up. We're getting them back.

So when Fainor gets there, Morgoth knows or sorry, Melkor, at this point, once they determine he killed the trees, he goes by a new name now. They give him a new name and it's supposed to be like a sinister name and it's Morgoth. So I'm going to start using Morgoth now. Assumed identity. Hell yeah. So he reinvents himself. He's now the Lord of, you know, Middle Earth. Morgoth.

Yes. So the area that all of this is going to happen in, and this is basically what's called like the years of, what's going to be called the years of the sun. It's during this time that they figure out a way to do light for the world, and they're like, we're just going to do a sun and a moon. That way he can't touch him and he can't fuck him up. So they create the sun and the moon.

They're suspended outside the planet. He can't get to them. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. I'm not sure why I don't just maybe, you didn't expect it to get messed up. You didn't expect the lamps to fail or the, you know, trees to get poisoned by a giant spider. Let's just go with something in space. Screwing some light bulbs. Mm-hmm. So let's see where we at. Okay. So Fainor gets there and Morgoth actually finds out that they're landing. So he sends a force out to fight them. At this point, because he's had all that time where he's corrupted. some of the elves. Basically, he has like an army that's waiting for him because Sauron's also been like, you know, breeding the orcs and creating his force. Befing up. Yep. Consolting power. And he sends out the orcs to meet Fainor's troops. Fainor is basically pissed off beyond belief and just plows through them and just charges straight up to the gates of Ingbad. And he ends up

within sight of the gates. He gets so far out ahead of his main army that it's just like him and his like elite guard. They get there and as they get to Angbad or Morgos sends out the ballrogs. They surround him, kill all of his men and then they end up mortally wounding Fainor.

A little bit of an Achilles type situation. Yeah, he just got ahead of himself. He didn't have his force. Well, what happens is after he falls before they're able to deal, he's mortally wounded, but before they're able to like, you know, cut off his head or just like the killing blow, his sons come in, fight him off and get his fall.

body out. Good. Well, I don't know. This guy started a whole bunch of shits. I don't know how good it is. He had good means. He, I don't know. I guess maybe if you can just create another sun and a moon, but you also still want

the cimmeros back. So I don't know. Well, and after this happens to one of his sons, the name is Midros. For some reason, he goes to Morgoth for some type of like parlay or like discussion. And Morgoth is like, fuck. you so he captures him and chains his ass to like the cliffs of one of the volcanoes by his hand and he can't get loose so what ends up happening is the rest of the nordor elves they actually arrive in middle earth and basically kind of under an instruction from oh no he's that sea god

that i was talking about two of these guys um his name is turgon and he's actually one of the sons of fingolfin which is the half-brother of feanor and then fin raw and then fin raw who he's the son of Phenarfin, so the other half-brother. So this is what I'm going to tell you right now. The names are going to start getting. And that's why I honestly, I skipped over a ton of the names. I just need to name these guys because they're main characters that come in. Or they're the sires of other people that come in to play.

So he's like, listen, you guys aren't going to, you know, get yourselves ready for a fucking war. This isn't just you guys coming in and beating him. So you guys need to go create essentially like refuges for like the elves and everything. So he sends Turgon, he ends up creating this place called Gondolin. And after looking around basically what we're talking about is the continental United States, he finds this place and he's led to it. And it is a, think of it as probably in Colorado. And it's a giant circle of just sheer mountains and cliffs that protects this enormous valley.

And there's like a secret valley that you have to go through in a tunnel to get to it. He finds that and he keeps a secret. He sends his people and he's like, you guys established like a town here, I'll be back. He goes in there, takes some people with him, finds out it's safe, finds a safe route to it, and then ends up bringing all those people into this city, and they build this enormous city called gondolin. Within the natural protection of the mountain range. And it stays secret for the longest time.

People don't go out. People, you know, he sends out scouting parties, but everyone's super, like no one finds it. And then Finrod ends up going a little bit further south. And I think he ends up, like, imagine where like Lake Tahoe would be. Lake Tahoe, there's a giant river there, and he finds this giant mountain, and he basically carves a fortress into the mountain, and it's called Nargothrond. So at this point, Midros has still chained to the volcano, and this guy named Fingon, he's the son of Fingulfin.

Yeah. He hops a ride on this giant eagle. There's giant eagles. Sweet. Okay. Hops a ride on a giant eagle and basically flies to the volcano. jumps onto the side of the volcano and is like, I'm getting you out of here. And he's like, just, and Majros is like, just fucking kill me.

He's like, nope. And he hacks off his hand. He's like, you're getting out of here. Brings him back. And technically, Midros should have been the next high king because he was the son of Phenor was the high king. And he's like, yeah, I got myself caught. I kind of fucked up.

I don't think I should be the high king. And so he's actually past it. He's like, tell your dad, Fengulfin, he's going to be the high king. So Fingulfin actually becomes the high king. Finulfan actually becomes the high king of the Noldor. So where did the one-handed man end up? He ends up going over to... So it'll help if I kind of paint the geography for you this area.

Okay. So Montana, border of Colorado, that's where that is. Now imagine the rest of Montana as a giant plane. And then around that border where Montana is all the way from the Pacific Northwest, wrapping all the way around to probably like Ohio. is basically kind of a mountain range that encloses this giant plane. Midros goes and creates a fortress over in,

I'd say like, maybe Indiana, not Indiana. Iowa. So it was a little further east. Yeah, and so they're kind of creating these refuges and fortresses kind of to watch over this plane

facing toward Morgoth. Because if he sends people out, they want to be able to keep an eye on the bad guy. Exactly, they want to be able to stop him. And, all right, hold on. I'm holding too many cue cards here. Morgoth basically sees them consolidating power.

And he's like, I got to kind of stop them before they get a foothold here. They're going to be a pain of my ass for a while. So he actually attacks the armies of Fengulfin and Madros and actually beats them. And they get beat, but at the same time, they weaken him enough to where he's not able to then push forward and conquer the basically move south. And what they do is they create basically like within that plane in Montana. like fortresses or watchtowers just to get a little bit closer look to watch what's going on in Ingbad

and if he sends out small rating parties they can come off before they get to like the main elf settlements and everything okay so they're just kind of like scouting parties kind of like fire like you put up fire towers or whatever they are they're manned and everything but I mean

it's not like cities it's basically like watch towers and outposts okay outposts yeah kind of around this time in the very far east back to kind of where we were talking like imagine there's a little bit more land on our East Coast, stretches out a little bit further, that's where the first men awake. So men actually kind of awake during this time. All this is going on?

Well, I guess there wouldn't be any men yet. No, not yet. So they wake at this time. And after kind of getting their bearings, they start working their way west as well. And after a while, they end up coming over the Blue Mountains, which would be, let's just call them the Rocky Mountains. mountains. They come over the Rocky Mountains. Do the Rocky Mountains extend all the way down to like New Mexico? Yeah.

And Arizona. Okay. Perfect. Then that's the perfect analogy. They come over and they're in this whole land that it's taking place of, which would be California, and Nevada, everything west of the Rocky Mountains is called, oh, it's called Bella. For some reason, I always have trouble pronouncing this. Then once I hear it, I realize how how much I'm needed I am. It's called Belerian. So that's what that area is called that entire from north to south. from Canada's border down to, you know,

where it touches the Mexican border. The West Coast. Yes, exactly. So, they end up eventually making their way over that into Balaerian. Well, while they're doing

what they consider the siege of Angbad, they're not, it's not a siege. It's like they're just looking after it. Melkor's not even, or Morgas, not even there.

He's actually discovers men have awakened, and he's like, these motherfuckers are going to be so much easier to corrupt than, oh, yeah.

than the elves. Not only because like the difference between, you know, of course, the big difference between elves and men is one is immortal and the other one have a shelf life of like 100 years. Even in this, regular men shelf life of 100 years. So Melkor is able to actually corrupt some of them. And he basically kind of dropped some information in their ears to get him to turn to his side. He's like, why do you guys only get to live for 100 years? Like the valor must have cursed you guys or something like that because. You guys don't die willingly.

You guys age takes you. Like, you get to die unwillingly. And they're like, yeah, that's pretty fucked up. Little Satan style. Yeah, and he's like, we should do something about that. Come follow me. And we'll see if we can do something about that. Like, sounds good.

Well, some of the other men, they actually end up leaving and work in their way to try to get closer to the Valar. And end up coming into Balarion. The first leader of the men, his name is Bayor. and the men are known as the Edine. So he's leading the Edine. He ends up coming in and he leads the first house of men into Ballarian over the Blue Mountains. So men have actually officially entered the playing field. They're on the chessboard now.

All right, we're moving on, buddy. What do you got so far? You got any questions about? A lot of stuff going on. It feels very biblical, but in a much more interesting sense. Like there's parallels that you can draw between, but the mysticism of this just seems so much more enthralling.

So there's a period essentially what they call the long piece and it's almost like 200 years where not a lot of shit happens. Again, even though Morgoth was technically victorious, he lost so many of his people that he couldn't make war.

He couldn't conquer anything. And there was still a bunch more elves and now men coming into the picture farther south. So if he pushes too far without the troops, he's going to end up getting beat. The big thing too, that I don't think the the elves didn't realize is that they actually couldn't beat morgoth because even if they destroyed

him he's a spirit like they were just trying to i think get him off the board i don't really you know feynor tried to charge him to try to beat him like with like 50 guys like i think they kind of underestimate like how powerful this dude is he can like move mountains and shit well and through everything that he's gone through he's still become victorious like he's still he's still around Yeah, it's not like he's not strategic. He's got some war medals, for sure. Yeah. So some of the men come in, they end up meeting some of the elves.

They're friendly to him. They're not threatened by him or anything like that. And so they actually help some of the men, they figure out they're like, oh shit, like more allies. So they help some of them settle in kind of like Oregon, Washington. And that's like where the house of like Bayor ends up settling. There's like a mountain range there and it's kind of protected. and it's like, hey, fantastic. We have someone kind of watching our,

what you consider, like what, your left flank or something like that. We don't have to spread ourselves. Good positioning. Yeah, exactly. But the humans, you said, were corrupted by... Some. Kind of in the same way that the elves were.

Okay. Only some of the humans were in Melkor. Some of them stayed over on the East Coast, kind of established themselves there. Same thing with the elves. Some of them stayed along the way and kind of established other areas and everything. Around this,

time too we're going to introduce the third and final race maybe not final because there are a couple other ones but the main one in our story is the dwarves so the dwarves actually come into being they weren't actually planned as any of this they weren't any of the children of Louvatar or anything were the dwarves the mixed race between the humans and the else so

Al Yule he ended up getting kind of bored at some point and he was like fuck he's like I've been building so many cool things he's like I could build some cool last people. And so he's like, what don't we have yet? He's like, we got elves who are like super graceful and smart and everything. And we got men who were kind of like a little more rugged and have to

enjoy life more because they have shorter lifespans. He's like, let's create something maybe a little bit in the middle, but let's make them like hardy and shit. And he ends up also kind of designing them to withstand Morgoth. He's like, I'm going to make them kind of hard to corrupt because I've kind of noticed something about

these guys we were already made is that they're kind of susceptible to fuckery. Pretty easily tempted. So he creates seven or eight stone statues of dwarves, but he can't give life to him. And so Aru comes down, he's like, hey buddy, what's you doing? And he's like, uh, nothing. He's like, looks like you're creating some people. And he's like, no, it's just falling around. He's like, I'm going to need you to

probably smash those. You know, I'm the only one that creates people around here. And Al Yul's like, fine. And he gets ready to smash him. And then Aru is like, just fucking kidding. with you. They can live. And so he ends up, as he's getting ready to smash them, he brings them to life and like the dwarves like, no! And he stops. So these dwarves

are essentially like the fathers of all the dwarves. Dwarves are excellent craftsmen. They're the creation of essentially the craftsmen of the gods. They love digging for treasure and all that kind of stuff. They make great fortresses like all that kind of stuff. Wonderful underground. And they're just fucking sturdy

as fuck, like both of body and mind. So they're kind of in the play. They actually have a fortress called Nargarost or something like that in the Blue Mountains. So they're a little bit more to the west of where that Magroskai is. So they're kind of like, they're the, they're at the border of Balearion where it meets with Middle Earth, basically.

So we're Middle Earth and the human population come together? They come over the Blue Mountains at a certain point. So the long, the long piece lasts until what's considered year 455 of the years of the sun which we're now in.

And Morgoth is basically like all right. He's like I've been up to some shit in my fortress. I've been building up my base. I got my troops and everything like that. It's time to see if I can go and conquer this bitch. So one night he

basically I'm trying to think of how to describe this. He sends forth rivers of fire and basically what he does is he forces like the volcanoes and everything like that to explode and cover this entire area of what we would consider Montana. I'm trying to remember what the name of the plane was. But he covers this whole thing and fire sends it out and basically uses that to clear all the elves out or torch them if they're going to stay. And behind that he basically sends out his ballrogs and he's been busy because he's actually managed to create a dragon.

That sounds pretty busy. Yeah, so it's basically his dragon that he first creates. His name is Glaurung. And he can talk and shit. I mean, he's like a sentient being, but he's flightless. He doesn't have wings. Basically like a giant commoto dragon or monitor lizard that can fucking breathe fire. And sends out that and all these orcs he's actually created.

And they're the, you know, Eldar and the men are completely caught off guard by it. So they're trying to kind of beat them back and ever. everything and like the main guys, there's a guy named Finrod that comes out. He's related to either Fingulfan or the other guy. I can't remember exactly what his relation is, but he's one of the heroes or one of the leaders of the elves. He ends up getting saved by this guy. He's a man. His name is Barrett here. And Finrod and thanks for it actually gives him a ring. And he's like, this ring will actually help you in your fight. It'll be an heirloom and it'll help protect your family. This ring is going to actually come into play much later in the story because this ring

gets handed down as almost a sign of the royal lineage of men. And it survives throughout this whole entire thing. So this is where it actually comes from. It's Finrod actually. It's like a token of esteem between elves and men. So this ring would be maybe made in like a series of rings? Nope. No. No, rings were still made before the rings were thinking about. Okay. So this ring was probably made over in Valinor, where the Val are. They call it Valinor at some point. So I'll probably just start referring to that instead of Amin or whatever over in Valinor. Stuff that was made over there is helped made by divine beings and all their crafts.

So I mean, it's super special. So he gives them this ring. And basically what the ring is, it's got a green jewel in it. And then it's got like two, it almost looks like two serpents. And they're kind of like biting one another. I'm not sure what the significance of it is. So after this, Morgoth controls the entire north. So he controls the Pacific Northwest, Montana, all the way over to what we'd consider the Dakotas and Wisconsin and Michigan and all that kind of stuff. He controls that area. He's got the humans up there. Yes? He drives them back. But at the same time, too, he's, I'm assuming taking as many prisoners as he can between elves and humans and corrupting them into orks or humans or humans. I'm sure he can find a place for corrupted humans. He already has a gang of them that he's already using.

Fingulfan, because he sees all of this shit happen, and he sees basically all of his people getting killed across this entire thing. He's like, fuck this. And he just barrels, fucking rides his horse straight through the enemy, all the way across what we would consider the plane of Montana to the gates of Engbad. Just plowing through till he got there? Yes. And basically rides up there and challenges Morgoth.

He's like, get your ass out here. Let's fucking settle this. And Morgoth comes out. And Morgoth at this point, I think kind of the general consensus, is that he's around 40 feet tall. And Fingulfin, some of the elves would be, you know, larger than some humans. So he was maybe around like eight feet, maybe nine. Some of the like super high elves were a little bit taller.

And so he's got a shield and his sword. And I think Morgoth has basically a doth. giant fucking mason he calls it gronde and so he comes out and he's like yeah let's do this and during this fight fengulfin is so fast that he's able to dodge these attacks and as he's thrown this mason to the ground it's leaving like these pits of fire where it hits so fengulfin is dodging those and he ends up wounding morgoss seven times but you know he's fighting a fucking god basically and he's seven spots on a 40 foot tall being yeah and so finally he hires, I think he ends up misstepping

and steps back into one of the pits. And as he's doing that, Morgoth brings his foot down on him and crushes him. And so there's his, his name is Therondor. I was mentioned the Eagles earlier. So there's these giant eagles that reside in, why can I remember this?

Bella, what did I call it? Blerian. What humans are? The whole country that they're in right now. Okay. That area. Yeah. So there's,

a huge group of eagles that live in Belaerian, and they came over from Valenor. They're like, I'm trying to think of 747 would be a good size for these eagles. Yeah, you can ride on the top of them, easy. So he ends up coming in, and he was friends with Fingulfan. These birds are sentient.

They can talk. They're smart as shit. And so he ends up coming in as Morgoth is getting ready to either defile because he's going to defile a shit out of his body. He comes in and claws the shit on Morgoth's face and grabs Fingulfin's body and fucking books it out of there. So now, Dead body.

Yes, dead body. So he's dead. So now Fingon, who, um, he ends up becoming the high king of the Nolder. He was Fingolfan's son. And I think he was also the one that came and rescued Majros and got him off there. So Fingolfan was the one that took over for the fellow that got strapped to the side of the mountain. So his son now assumes the hiking. The line now goes to that.

Okay. It doesn't revert back to Phanor's line. It stays in Fingolfan's line. So during this time, because now Mel or Morgoth, pretty much has the line. whole north, he sent Sauron, and he's like, hey, go ahead and just like snag a fortress somewhere around here. So he goes and sets up shop probably, I would imagine, somewhere where Idaho meets Nevada. There's a river, there's a fortress, and it's called, and it's on an island in a lake, and it's called Minas Turrith. Starting to flirt with Southwest. Yeah. Okay. Yep. And he ends up

taking this over. It was an elven fortress. He ends up taking it over, bouncing. and everyone out of there, and he turns it into what he calls the Isle of Werewolves, and he starts fucking making werewolves. So he's capturing men, subjecting him to magic or some shit or have another Werewolves. He's basically creating an Army of Werewolves. If you're creating an Army of Werewolves,

seem like the right way to go. All right. I'm going to take a P-break, and then we're going to get back to this. We're going to talk about the People's Magazine best couple in Ballerian at this time. Coming up next, you're going to see what I mean. All right, while we take a break from class and take care of some business, you can also take care of some business.

If you don't follow us on Instagram or Twitter already, our Instagram handle is historically high pod. That's historically high POD. And our Twitter is historically high. That's historically H.I. All right. And back to our show. All right, back at it. When I say power couples, who do you think of? You think in McLehlyne and Olson? Benefer, McLehlehany and Olson. Renan, Benifers back, right? Reynolds and... They are.

Lively? Yeah. Who else is back? Yeah. Ben Affleck and Jennifer are back. All right. A-Rod's out of the picture. These two blow them out of the water.

Anyone you can think of. We're talking about Barron and Luthian. And these two little scallywags end up changing literally the course of everything. So, Baron is actually the son of a guy we talked about Bear here. He's the guy that got the ring

from a good old Finrod. or Finn, one of the Finn, Finn gone. And he ends up kind of like, after the whole Morgoth taken over the whole North, he takes like, him and his dad take like a remaining faction of their forces, small and they become outlaws. And they just harass the shit out of Morgoth's troops and everything like that. It's trying to set up outposts and all that kind of stuff. So even though Morgoth is the king dick now in that area,

they're just trying to piss him off? it's kind of like a gorilla style. I mean, that's their home, man. Part of it's their home. Okay. Yeah, I guess it's kind of like a goat. Yeah, it's kind of like a gorilla. I mean, they'd have sanctuary if they went. They fought for, they could leave, but they're not going to leave their home. They know they have to try to, they're the shield that's holding this stuff back. So these are all very courageous people at them. So. It sounds so close to so many things in other histories that we've learned about.

I know. So him and his dad and their band of merrymen are harassing the shit out of Morgas troops And it ends up they get whittled down through attrition And it ends up just being baron So he's now getting hunted because he's like a wanted man You know, it's a sheriff of Nottingham situation Barron's Robin Hood and the sheriff is Morgothings like I know this motherfucker's out there Find him that's a prize on his head So he ends up getting chased into that forest that I was talking about where the spider was

It doesn't run to the spider but he ends up either run into some trouble and he gets rescued or he ends up meeting with Luthian. And Luthian is the daughter of this guy named Thingle. When we were talking about the elves moving west, some of them saw something, was like, hey, what's that? I want to go look at it. That was Thingle and a couple of his followers.

He went over. They ended up going into this area of like a forest and meeting this Mayar that was hanging out in Middle Earth and her name was Melian. She was just chilling by yourself Yeah she might have been like a forest mayor And been like trying to keep the forest alive and everything like that And

Like a hippie Kind of and I think she kind of entrances him And he ends up like falling asleep or some shit For literally like six months to a year Long enough that all the other elves make their way to that floating island And get the fuck out So that happened that long ago So by this time

He's got an established kingdom and everything Well this is his daughter So she's the daughter of an elven king and basically a demigod. And she is widely known as in the history of this world as the most beautiful woman ever. She ends up meeting Barron and she's like, look at this rugged, son of a bitch.

She's not even my species. God damn, I got to get me some of that. So they meet and fall in love. And basically, the deal is, he goes to her father and he's like, I want to marry your daughter. He's like, okay. And he's like, okay, I'll let you marry her.

What you got to get me, though, is remember in John Wick where they always talk about the impossible task that John Wick accomplished to get free of like his debt to the mob or to whoever the assassins are high table. His folklore kind of. Yes. So he gives them an impossible task. He's like, I'll let you guys get married if you bring me one of the cimurals from Morgas Crown. So they're like, cool. We'll be back in a little while. So they end up taken off.

And they actually went to try to do this. Oh yeah. They love each other, man. That's like an impossible task, though. They're dying doing that. They're star-cross lovers. And they don't have to run away and try to live in secret. If this happens, he's got to let him marry and then treat him as one of the family.

And then their children can also stay within the line and take over his king. I mean, there's a lot of benefits to try and have this thing be legitimate. Too much. Okay. Let's just see what. Hey, let's see what happens. It's just too much. Let's find out what happens to these crazy kings.

kids. They're in love. Fucking hormones raging. She's the most beautiful one in the world. You think he's not gonna fucking do whatever? Yeah, I guess if he... That's magical demigod. Elf. That's...

That's... That's what... That's A5 Wagyu. All right. Well, yeah, and it's probably... And she's never gonna age. Even if you do, for the day, until the day you die, she's gonna look just as hot.

If it's better to die than live without her, Okay. So they don't leave right away. He goes off to try to kind of strategize and try to figure out if they're going to be able to accomplish this. He goes over because he knows Fingal or Fingon, sorry. He goes over, talks to him. So this is also where, remember I was telling you about the sons of Fennor and their oath? They find out about this.

And they found out someone else is going after a Simmeril. So two of the sons, they meet up with Barron. and they basically give him bad information. They're like, you're going to find the information you're looking for at Minas Turath. And I'm not sure if Baron knew that it had been taken over and it's down the fucking island of werewolves or anything. But they try to send him to try to snuff out the competition. They're not going to maybe going to kill him dishonor and that perhaps. But they send him because they know he's going to die.

So somehow I don't know if another elf Finrod goes with him. I believe they're friends. and they're actually captured by Sauron. And basically how he's going to kill him is he has him down in a pit and he just keeps releasing werewolves in to kill him. Saron just sounds like the worst guy. I mean, Morgoth's pretty bad. He's pretty bad, but...

We're going to get something here in a second. So Finrod ends up killing a werewolf with his bare hands, maybe even a couple of them, but then he ends up dying of his wounds. At this point, though, Luthian shows up to rescue Barron. and Luthian has made a friend along the way and his name is Juan I think it's Huon but I like saying it as Juan because it's H-U-A-N so Juan

Okay Okay remember when I was talking Okay so it's not J-U-A No but Juan Juan right Yeah okay all right Remember when I was telling you about that dude Orame The Valor like to hunt people

Yeah his dog Okay This is like a wolfhound of Valinor Basically this is like a demigod dog The dog can talk three times. It's allowed to talk three times in its life. And it uses like two of the times to talk to Luthian. It originally is with the sons of Phenor.

And it's like, you guys are fucking not cool dudes. So it ends up bailing on them to go run with Luthian. And she shows up to the Isle of Werewolves with this fucking wolfhound. The legend behind this wolfhound also is that the only thing that will kill this wolfhound is when it meets the greatest wolf in Middle Earth. So Sauron starts sending all the werewolves And this dog is fucking these things up Just killing him

Paring him left and right Until he's out of werewolves And then finally he's like All right So he transforms himself into a werewolf The greatest werewolf he believes in Middle Earth Goes out to fight him and it's a good fight But fucking Juan gets him by the throat

And fucking pins him to the ground Soron tries to turn into a snake to get away Juan's not having it He's like I'll fucking kill you as a snake too So finally he changes back into his form and the dog's got him by the throat and luthian's like where is um baron and through some type of like i don't know if he ends up like getting away real quick or something like there's like orcs that come in to distract him i think it might be something like that

but he ends up getting away and she ends up rescuing baron so after all the werewolves and everything were gonzel baron had escaped no no no baron was in the tower. Sauron had escaped somehow. Oh, okay. After the negotiation, I don't know if he had some guys that came in an attack

and drew their attention or whatever, but he ends up getting away. So he heads back to like Angbat or something. She then goes into the tower and frees baron. So this, they make their way for Ingmar. They're like, we're heading to get the fucking simmeringed so we can get hitched.

So the dog actually, Juan, he's not a dog, he's fucking amazing. He ends up going ahead of them and helping them acquire disguises. He ends up killing another, like, werewolf and gets its skin and gives it to Barron so he can sneak into Ingmar. And he ends up killing, like, this war bat or something, like this giant mutant bat,

and ends up skinning it and giving the skin to Luthian. So what is Barron again? Huh? What is Barron again? He got the werewolf skin. But is he a human? Barron is just a man. Okay.

Yeah. So he's got 100 years. He's not a long life. That's why he's trying to get this shit done, dude. He wants to get it in while he can get it in. So they end up infiltrating and getting into like the throne room. And they're discovered. And because she's part my art, she,

Luthian has this gift of like song. And so she basically sings this song and it kind of actually puts, uh, Morgoth out. And she's like, fucking grab, grab it. Oh yeah.

So he runs up onto, on a Morgoth and Beren takes out of, his knife and he prized one of the cimmerils out of his crown and grabs it and he's like he's still out i'm going for two and so he fucking jams the knife and then the knife breaks while it's in the second one and the shard hits morgoth in the face and he starts to wake up oh no so they're trying to rush to get out of there before he gets up and they're met actually with like morgoss personal fucking guard dog like it's some crazy it's the werewolf a lot of dogs yeah well he's breeding crazy fucking things. And Baron goes to hold out the simmeril to like the blinding light from it to try to scare

it off and it fucking bites his hand off and bites the simeril and swallows it. And then the fucking things are supposed to be super hot to hold. Simurals? No, no, no. Hold on. I think there's something about like the light that's within it and evil. It somehow, I don't know if it hurts the werewolf. Oh. It bales and takes off just running like across the whole fucking plane and with the ham and simmerle inside of it. So basically they're now hunting. this werewolf and I don't know if they go and inform her father to or get message to thingle because he sends out people to and basically they corner this werewolf and baron and Juan end up fighting this thing killing it but it ends up killing both of them so it was the

greatest wolf because it killed Juan but then Baron is sitting there and he's dying so Luthian basically is like, yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and pick to die too. So she lays down and is somehow able to go ahead and just kind of lose the will to live and dies with him. Because she is part Mayer and elf, she heads to the halls of Mandos. She gets there and she goes before Mandos, who's the gatekeeper. Her soul? Her soul. Okay.

And I think more so, like it's, you know, it seems like you would be like in a corporeal body, not just like a floating like ball light or something like that. Because she goes to Mando, Mandoz, and she basically is like, you know, please let us live. I'll sing you a song and she sings such a banger that it moves Mandoz to pity. And he goes before Manway and he's like, I just came out of the studio and I just heard the greatest thing I've ever heard. We got to sign this chick. And so the deal is is that he gives her the option. You can either be resurrected and live out the remainder of your life as one of the Eldar in Valenor, where it's safe and you can live forever and live your wildest dreams.

Or I'll send you both back. I'll bring him back and you're both mortals. And she's like, fucking send me back. So she gave up her god. So she gave up, yeah, that ability. So she went back and she became mortal. He ends up getting resurrected and they have a son named Dior, who's going to also be a player. later down the road.

So we're now at like 468 in the year of the sun. I'm trying to remember when the last time we actually discussed today. 4.55. So we're not that far past that. We're like 13 years. In a mortal's life. So this is when the fifth battle, and it's called the War of the Jewels takes place.

The War of the Jewels is basically the first engagement since Phenor came over and started the fight. So it's gone on for hundreds of years at this point. this battle the war of the jewels or this war has. So Midros is like, okay, sounds about right for time. We've had a few years off. It's time to start building up some forces to try to kick fucking Morgoth out of here, get rid of him.

So he starts building basically like an alliance. It's called the Union of Midros. And he gets basically elves and the Edine men together gets dwarfs together. Find some other men that are further east called the Easterlings. He's like, hey, you guys want to get in on this? And they're like, yeah, we'll go help fight for you. They've all had enough of morga shit. It's

time to well the alliance could have been actually stronger but because of the whole oaths of the sons of phanor they'd been like going around and actually like killing certain people who because the simeril is now in the possession of um thingle he he has it because they killed the wolf and got the okay the dad of it yeah exactly and that was the deal they could get married

if he got the simeril so he has that so these two guys are going around like trying to get this simerals so they're actually doing some killing and they're pissing off like other elf, you know, cities and tribes and stuff like that. So because of that and because of their relationship to, um, Thingl or something like that, it somehow causes other people to kind of back out of the alliance. So they're not as strong as they can be.

The sons end up making an alliance with Thingl with them telling him basically, hey, give us the similar. And they're like, no. And they're like, well, then after we get done fighting, more goth. we're going to fight you and he's like cool cool let's just do that then you're not going to come to see me after that you're probably not going to make that

so basically the plan is and like we have the border of Montana to the east border of Idaho and Oregon mountain range there to the west Midros's forces are built up of the guys from the east

dwarves and then like the sons of of Feinor and like those guys and I think Thingles forces might have been there too. On the west hand side we have like let me see, we have Fingon's Army and then like a bunch of the men

the E-Dine or whatever they're calling him and then he's kind of worried because they don't think they have enough guys and then this guy named Turgon we mentioned him he was the guy that went and started Gondolin in the Hidden Valley Oh, in the mountain range? They hadn't heard from him for like hundreds of years he ends up showing up with like 10,000

Elven Warriors from that city and he's like oh thank God they also have this other group of elves who are under the command of this guy named Gwindor well Gwendoor has a brother named Gellmere

well Gellmere got captured by Morgoth a while back so Morgoth because he has spies all over I cannot pronounce this fucking country. Belarion.

Jesus, why is that so hard for me to remember that? The spelling doesn't sound phonetic. Balerian. He has spies all over, so he kind of gets wind of what's going on, but he realizes that, well, I can't, I got to just strategically try to beat these guys. So he sends his main force against Midros

in the east, and then sends kind of like a small token force against the western side. Well, with that force, he sends the Gem or Gilmere. and basically this small force is supposed to come out bait them coming in and then a larger force behind him

is supposed to come smash into him so how they try to do this is basically they bring Gilmer out and start dismembering him across like a valley where they can still see them and his brother's just sitting there watching the cut pieces off of him before they finally kill him well he's so fucking pissed off that he just calls his men

and he's like fucking charge and just fucking takes off to go after him right falls right into the trap yeah well Finn gone is kind of just chilling back like this isn't part of the plan. I know what's going to happen here. You guys are going to get wiped out, but we're not going to get wiped out with you.

We'll have to try to come in and just clean up a little bit and try to help you. So he pulls his men back, keeps his men back, and also Turgon keeps his men back. He's like, I'm definitely not fucking going in there. That's stupid. Well, what they underestimate is Gwindor basically fucks himself a path to Angbad. He's so pissed off about his brother. He kind of underestimates, or Morgothan underestimates him getting through.

The power of rage. Yes. and he gets all the way through and basically starts breaking down the gates of Angbad with his forces. And Morgoth gets a little bit nervous actually because no one's ever actually made it this far.

But basically the gates are in the like there's towers and like it funnels you in. He basically just surrounds him with all of his men that are still in the fucking fortress and he kills all of them down to the last man. So they all got all got wiped out.

So then at this point Fingon and his troops are trying to catch up a little bit and this kind of gives you a sense of the scope of like the fortress and everything is that he's able to use all these hidden tunnels to basically release his main fortress on kind of the flanks and basically surrounds him and starts pushing everybody back Midros over in the east that's where he sends glam glam rung the dragon the Komodo dragon

the land land dragon yeah the land dragon so he's fucking up that side and everything. During the battle, part of those Easterling guys, they end up turning on the elves. They were working for Morgoth. Like half of them under Wonder Commander, the other half of them were actually good and kept trying to help them, but basically you're fighting a war on three fronts at that point. So they end up getting just completely, like, decimated. Finally, Turgon comes to Fingon's aid, sees them just getting hammered, and basically allows him instead of trying to, they're trying to run away and they're just getting killed from behind. They can't organize retreat.

Trying to lay cover fire for him. Exactly. So that's what Turgon comes in. He's like, hey, we're going to cover you. We'll allow you to strategically retreat. They start moving back. The only reason that Midros is able to even escape on the eastern front is basically because the dwarves are like, fucking get out of here. Like we can actually fight against this dragon.

They had full armor. They had masks. They were more resilient to heat for the dragon fire and everything. And they were able to actually like wound. the dragons with their axes. So they basically formed a fucking circle around this dragon to buy them time for these elves to get out of there. And during kind of the chaos and everything of buying them, time the dragon just basically finds like the king of the dwarves and charges him and just tramples him and kills him. And before it's able to go ahead and finish him off, he basically takes his sword

and just jams it and gutshots him. And so the dragon has to end up retreating in a whole bunch of like more goss forces like fall the dragon because they're losing like their big piece off the board. So the dwarves after that happens, they just kind of quit fighting. They go and pick up the king's body, and they just basically walk back to their fortress, and no one fucks with them the entire time. I think someone tries to harass them at the beginning, and they just destroy them. They're just on such a mission to get back, and no one even touches others. Okay, we'll just sort of let you go because you're just fucking everything up.

Yes. We just saw you stand up to a dragon. I don't think any of us are really going to be a match. Any of the orcs are going to be a match for them. We'll sit this one out. Yeah. All seven things. So they extinct the only dragon

that was around at that time? Glowrung? Yeah. Yes. He was the only one that Morgoth had created. So he made one and he got, damn. He's not dead though.

He escapes. It just forces him off the battlefield his wound does. He's no longer able to fight. So he's still a piece on the board. And then luckily, all seven sons of Phenor escape so they can still go

to cause shit and everything like that because they're not dealing with enough stuff with Morgoth. They got to deal with people, you know, shit from their own people. So the Balrogs, they're out fighting too. And the leader of them, one of the Mayard that, you know, Morgoth made, it was like his chief mayor, aside from Sauron and that turned into a ballrog. His name is Goth Mog. So he's like the head ballrog. He's the head ballrog. So he ends up arriving on the Western front and he has a fucking like elite troll. guard and he battles.

We've got trolls now too? Yeah. He was able to find him in the mountains and they're not like, you know, smart creatures or anything so they're easily susceptible and so I'm sure Morroth was just like, what do you guys want to like mud and food? And he's like, I can get you mudd dead. Yeah. We'll make that happen. And I'll let you just kill people if you want and they'll like we like that. So basically goth-mog comes and Finn gone just completely runs through his entire troll guard and then it's like you. and him and got him and got him and goth mom are fighting and he's fighting him to a standstill and then

another ball rod comes up and grabs fin gone from behind or restrains him and uh goth mogg splits him right in the head with his axe and kills him so there's also so you know turgons forces are still trying to they're coming back after they see this happen now they're in full retreat too trying to get back and so um out of the edine the men there were like two guys a king and they're and his son named whore. It's Hewer, H-U-O-R,

Hewer, and Heurin. Heurin is the sun. And they basically just tell Turgon, they're like, hey, we'll buy you some time, get out of here. And they form basically a human wall across this pass. Because if they allow, basically,

they know Gondolin is hidden. It's his refuge, kind of a blast bastion there, if something happens. They know that if they allow them to get through and follow Turgon, he's going to lead him right to go under there. They're going to find out where it is.

So basically they end up getting killed, all of the human or all of the men end up getting killed, except for Huron. And he ends up getting captured, but it takes them, he ends up killing, he grabs a double-sided axe from like a fallen troll or something, he ends up killing 70 other

enemies before he gets captured. The only reason that he's unable to fight is because apparently like troll blood is acidic. So for everyone he kills and guts and everything, it's wearing away as axe. Finally, the axe just wears down to like a metal nub on the end. And so they end up capturing him. Once they get, Morgoth gets a hold of him.

He takes him up to like one of the peaks of the volcanoes above the fortress and basically has a chair made and sits him down and chains him in the chair and is basically able to kind of either bewitch or put something over him that allows him to look across all of Balarion and see the shit that's happening with his family, all the bad things that are happening. and he puts like a curse on him and he's like even if you get away from here i'm putting a curse upon you and your line for that anything that you touch goes badly and that ends up playing into a whole bunch of other shit because he ends up getting away so he cursed his entire human race his his his his line oh so just his lineage yeah he's only yeah he's only able to to do that okay all right we're

going to start jumping a little bit further in time because there's pretty much a lull that kind of happens. A stalemate. Well, I mean, at this point, Morgoth pretty much has control over, I mean, he hasn't moved completely south yet, but there's no resistance now in the north that can, that can hold him back. So he does need to go and kind of recuperate. He lost, you know, lost some people, but there's, he can, you know, replenish his troops and everything like that faster than anybody else can. So there's a guy named Turin, and he's actually the son of Huron, the guy that's chained up on the chair. He ends up being the one to kill Glamrung. The one that was coming to save his brother?

No, the dragon. Oh, yeah. So he was the one that finished him off? Yeah, he finishes him off. So Morgoth is pretty much like, there's not really anyone to challenge me. And he kind of tells Glamrung, he's like, go do your thing. You can wander. So he ends up, and dragons love gold.

They want treasure hordes and everything. So he ends up finding this place that's a little further south It's that place along the river that was built into the mountain I think I mentioned earlier I know I'm saying a lot of shit He ends up finding that place breaking into it and wanting to use that as his like treasure hoard Because there's like a treasure there Well, Turen ends up somehow Like tricking him or he gets tricked by

Huron gets tricked by him or sorry Turing gets tricked by him And he ends up coming to and hunting this dragon down and he gets himself positioned in the bottom of like a little tiny, like a little ravine, just like a canal, not a ravine canal. And as the dragon goes over him, he doesn't see him.

And he basically just takes his sword and just shoves it right up through its chest all the way of the hill. And as the dragon's dying, it ends up doing something that ends up killing him too. So he dies, but the dragon also dies. So that's where that piece comes off the board. Okay.

So Dior that I mentioned was Baron and Luthian's kid. He ends up... Power couple. Power couple. They had a kid? Yeah. They must have got busy quick. Yeah. I guess that wasn't a big swath of time though that went by. Well, this is now between this. This is like

this could be, you know, 50 years or so. So Dior actually has a daughter, too, named Elwing. So this is obviously got to be 50 or 60 years. Thingle is actually the king that has the cimeryl.

Mm-hmm. He wants to make a crown so he can wear it. So he has the dwarves, gives him the cimeral. It's like, here, fashion this into this crown. And during their time with it, the dwarves basically just become obsessed with it. That's a hard-o move to want that in your crown, just one of them. And so, Thingl actually gets killed by the dwarves for the simeril. And then baron, being the excellent son-in-law, avenges him and hunts down a bunch of the dwarves and kills them.

So that's actually going to kind of play into why further down the line there's some animosity. It's basically racial tensions between the dwarves and the elves. It's kind of stemming from almost like this type of thing. Like you killed like one of our kings for fucking shiny rock. That's the greatest racial tension that I've ever heard between the elves and the dwarfs. So basically once Barron gets rid of the dwarves and everything, they take the Simeril back and Luthian has it. And so she becomes a target for the sons of Phanor who are basically chasing. her. So it's not just fucking Morgoth now it's these assholes. And this other guy

named Arendil ends up being born. And Baron and Lucian sometime after this end up both sharing their final death. Together it would have for me together. And as she passes, she passes it to Dior, who's their son. One of the sons of Phenor ends up hunting down Dior and ends up killing him. and his wife and his two sons. The only one left alive is his daughter Elwing. So she ends up getting the simmerle somehow. And she basically heads as far south as she can get.

She basically heads for like Baja, like almost San Diego. And there's like a river that empties out. It's almost, it's not, it's on the coast, but it would be more like if Mexico wasn't there. Sorry, if Mexico wasn't there and like Arizona had like a river running through it that emptied into the sea. So she ends up holding out there. The Colorado, doesn't that go through Arizona? But then goes into Mexico, probably, right?

Or does that come out in the Baja Gulf? It might. I think it empties into the sea. Okay, same. Same thing then. So that's called the mouths of Sireon, is where the mouth of the river comes out. So she's kind of trying to, like, hide out there.

Well, what ends up happening during this time is that Gondolin ends up getting found out by Morgoth. He ends up capturing one of, like, the nephews of the king there, of, I think, Turgon's nephew and through torture ends up finding where it's at. And so Turgon, you know, never expected to be found out and everything.

So basically, in this time after Glamrung had died, Morgoth had actually created a couple different more dragons, all still just like land lizards and launches them, the Balrogs and a ton of orcs against this city.

And they're trying to, you know, gather their defenses and everything like that. And the city ends up getting destroyed, but Gothmog, the head of the Balrogs is killed Turgon is killed

I can't remember if they kill each other this guy named Glor Fendell he's gonna come into play later but basically he's kind of like he almost seems

like he's kind of an Achilles type soldier Runs hot run's hot but he's also like an excellent warrior I think he ends up

killing another one of the ballrogs himself while like covering the escape of like these people out this hidden pass so he's like full on hero So that's another piece off the board.

So that city's gone now too. So pretty much unchecked power everywhere from, you know, halfway up to the north. And there's still a little pockets probably of elves and everything. But at any point, he could, you know, Morgoth could invade and just completely own the thing. So Erendel actually meets Elwing and they get married. Now, the reason I'm mentioning these two and I've been mentioning these two is they actually have two kids. and one of the kids is Elrond and the other kid is named Elros.

So they're all hiding out at the mouse of Sirion and the Sons of Phanor attack. Well, Elwing jumps into the ocean with the Simeril and the ocean god basically like, I'm just going to give you a little shove and get you to a Rendell ship and gets her onto the ship. And both of them are like,

we need to head to Valinor to see if we can get some help for what's going on. situation well they end up leaving their kids behind and so one of the sons of phaenor his name is maglor and he's kind of like he strikes me as more of like he's like a poet like an artist and everything he kind of seems like the guy in the back being like do we have to fucking kill these people again like are we still killing people for these fucking rocks so he actually ends up finding these two kids and actually racism doesn't let anything to happen he's like conflicted the whole time because he's like technically i should have to kill these kids but i'm just

going to keep raising them for a little bit until I really have to do it. It's like the people that own tigers or bears. Or pythons and they just want to go. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. So Arendel ends up using the Simeril as like kind of like a North Star and he finds his way with him and his wife. They find their way to Valenor and basically go in front of like Manway and they're like, for the love of God, do you know what's going on over there?

We're sorry. like we're sorry for like the noldor fuck up with feignor and him telling you to fuck yourself and then killing all those elves and taking their ships we're really sorry we've been up to our eyeballs in a shit sandwich for like the last like thousand years with your brother there's a lot of stuff that we're not proud of this this is like we're your family squabbles are fucking coming down on nuts now please try to fix this shit well manway's finally like all right like yeah i have i haven't been doing, I guess I haven't been doing a lot or anything like that. They end up convincing him and he mobilizes basically Valenor for war. So that's every single like elf that stayed there and for like a thousand years has been just like populating and doing all that kind of stuff. So the, the Elteri or the ones that are like the ocean going ones, they're like, um, aren't you, so we're sailing over to try to help out the people whose ancestors killed a bunch of our people. and they're like, yeah, and they're like, fine,

I'm going to send, like, as few people just to sail the boats, and not one of our people is setting foot on Middle Earth. You get off our fucking boats as soon as you get there. And so they mobilize all of Valenor. Morgoth has basically been building up this force as well, this entire time too.

And they said that his force, I'm going to hit you with the number here. This is going to seem staggering, but his force numbered between orcs and everything, like almost like upwards of a million. Like beyond the eyes could see. Valenores has to be way bigger, though. Not so much bigger, but if you think about it, like every soldier that's an elf is worth

probably like five to ten orcs. Like you have some of these elves that are literally writing up to fucking fight Morgoth himself. So I mean, some of these guys are fucking, I mean, they're dying, but they kind of, one of them got him seven times. So all the Noldor that were still in Valenor, all the Vandor, all the van, which were that other one aside from the ocean going people all of the myr that are still there and then even possibly some of the actual valar end up going over they land where everyone seems to land like in the organ washington area and for 40 years this fucking this war goes on 40 years

between morgoth and valen war goth and his million strong force and this army of elves and demigods and all this shit and men. There were three houses of men that were still there in Middle Earth that helped to join them. They were small and they got diminished and everything like that because they had been fighting this fight, but they still fought on that side. And so it got to the point where they had driven finally all of Morgos forces back to Engbad.

And he was like, you know, what's the last ditch effort? Hell Mary, he ends up unleashing. He's been working on this. He unleashes winged dragons. and he's been breeding this one in secret and has kept it hidden and the main dragon his name is and Kellagon the Black.

So for size reference, I'm trying to think of how I would even compare this. Bigger than your subdivision? Big old dragon. Just enormous. Beyond the scope of scale. I guess that people can really fathom as far as like a living creature.

So there's other also wing dragons, just smaller ones. So they end up starting just fucking up the Noldor and the Valar forces and everything starts attacking the back. You have a new weapon that nobody's seen before. Oh yeah. Well, all of a sudden Arendale arrives. Doesn't arrive

in his normal ship though. The Valar are like wildcard time bitches and they fucking bless his ship to be able to fly and he's wearing the simmer on his head. Oh, okay. So he flies in and for an entire day him and his flying ship battle these dragons

and he ends up killing all of them finally kills Ankelegon kills him right above the volcanoes and as his body comes down it lands on all the volcanoes and just crushes them that's a big victory oh yeah so morgoth ends up getting captured I think Tolkus comes in

kicks down the door they find him hiding in his lowest chamber chain his ass simerals are taken off of his crown and the crown is beaten into a collar around his neck they cut off his feet it's a good move you can't get away with that any feet and they take it

him back to Valinor and they finally and see he doesn't go into the halls of mandos they shove him through what they call

the doors of night into the time was void that sounds pretty bad they're fucking done with them that's a life sentence oh yeah

there's no coming back for that there's some stuff that says they may have beheaded him right before they sent him through just to be sure

you know when you do the pop in the head zombie movie there might have been something to that so the aftermath of this

this battle for 40 years is basically the ending of what they call the first age. Second age starts now, but what's been done is... How many ages are there? Up to three. There's a fourth one that is started,

essentially, but it's still in the early stages of that one. And once we get into the second age, third age is going to fly by, but second age has got some key points that really play into it. Am I, you starting to lose?

I just, I don't know. That's a lot of ages, but it's good stuff. We're pressing on. We're pressing on. All right. So most of Ballerian is actually destroyed during this whole thing. It's like a cataclysmic event and it sinks into the ocean.

So we basically, the ocean gets bigger. We basically lose California, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Nevada, probably Colorado. No, yeah, probably Colorado. Just the war wrecked everything into the ocean. Yeah, basically there was so much. I mean, you have gods fighting and everything like that. Just the destruction. A lot of earth being moved.

Yeah. They created it. They're destroying it just the same. Yep. So basically like the Valar, all the elves that are still there, they're basically like, just fucking come home. Let's get out of here. We've done enough. Yeah.

And a lot of them do end up leaving, but there's a certain individuals. There's like, no, I mean, we're good. We're going to, we're going to head east. We're going to see what's going on. We got some stuff we want to look at. So a couple names that stay, guy named Searden, he was like a guy that just hung out a lot during the battle on basically the South Coast. He was like a shipwright. Galadriel, who she takes, she has a huge part in the story.

This guy named Selleborn, who ends up, I believe they end up getting married. This guy named Killebrimbor, who's actually a descendant of Phenor. and then this guy named Gilgillad who ends up becoming after in right at the beginning of the second age find out he's in line he was the one who's now the high king of the Noldor so the high king of the elves remaining on in Middle Earth and then Elron decides to stay so kind of a weird thing that happens with Elron and his brother

is because their lineage weirdly enough can be tied back essentially to pretty much every early itiner or iteration of men and elves through some type of breeding, the valor kind of give them a choice. And it's like, hey, we're going to give you a choice. Because some elves with the whole like no death, it kind of wears on some of them. The life just goes on and everything.

So like you're kind of in a rare circumstance where you have a foot in both worlds. So we're going to give you a choice. You can either live as a man as a, or you can, or we'll grant you mortality. I think the whole granting them mortality, I don't think it was like going to be the lifespan of man, but it would be a finite amount of time.

And so Elron was like, I think I'll stay an elf. He's like, I kind of want to see where this goes. And Elro says like, I think I'm going to be a man. So because of Bilarian basically being fucking gone, all these men that were there, the ones that survived this war, don't really have a place to go. But they also laid their lives on the line, their limited lives on the line to try to help them win this war.

So the valor are like, we got a special prize for you. so to the southwest quite a ways out into the sea of Middle Earth they're basically like we got you a shiny new island

so the island is about I did size comparison and the island is about three quarters of the size of like Utah so still big yeah I mean

three quarters to the size an island just and it's just for them and it's a five pointed star shape and it's and they end up calling it numinor. So Elrose being a man, he's like, I'm going to take the remaining men that survived this and we're going to sail for this island.

And they get there and this is only for them. So they, the Valar blessed them essentially or give them the gifts, some type of gift to wear because they get their, you know, special island. But they're like, we're going to go ahead and sweeten the pot just a little bit because you did, you know, you did help us out a little bit. So we're going to go ahead and give you longer lifespans. So you guys can live, maybe. like 300 years. We'll give you 300 as an average lifespan. Dwarfs are about 250, regular humans,

100. And then I think hobbits are like 120. So hobbits even have a little bit. Not bad. No. So they end up sailing for Numenor for the reward. And yeah, he becomes the first king of Numenor. The dwarves that survived because where they were living that got sunk into, they had to end up going east as well. There had been some dwarves when they first woke up that actually went east anyway earlier on. Explored the other. Yep. And they were descended to this guy named Duren.

And so Duren has a legend that he was the first one that was awake out of the dwarfs. He was the first one to be grounded life. So he kind of has their messiah, their dwarf Messiah status. So he actually founded this place in the Misty Mountains, that big huge stretch of mountains that's now pretty much kind of in the middle of Middle Earth, now that the changes happened. He ends up establishing this huge kingdom. under it. This spans has an entrance on one side of the range of mountains. You go walk right through. It takes you three days to pass through. And then it has a door on the other side.

That's a pretty big swath land. Yes. I mean, they, they never came over. They've been at this for thousands of years digging this, you know, this empire. So. And they were left out of the fighting too. Yeah. So they, you know, the, the ones that ended up coming in had a safe place to go to right away. And I mean, I'm sure, like, there were other creatures on that side. Like, I'm sure that Morgoth didn't have every single one of his, like, orcs and everything

over there, or he had some type of allies. You think there were orc defectors? Oh, that'd be... How would you trust that? Just to look, like, Hello? You have to know, though. We want to be on your side. You have to know that if it's one... Your women are so much more attractive than

us we used to be you. You could snuff out one, so you might as well trust one or two or three, because you know that if there's an uprising, you're going to be able to get rid of them. Well, I mean, they're not, here's the thing is, they're not mindless. They're just

like, first of all, they look like crap, so they probably don't feel very good about themselves. Yeah. They're created also to be evil, and I'm sure so they're kind of inherently that way, but like they talk and have conversations and stuff, but at some point, it's like, Like, we don't want to die. We're going to go hang out with somebody else just to stay alive.

Your food is so much better. So here's the thing, too. Yeah, Morgoth gets taken in. Some of the ballrogs that he had escaped. And then his chief lieutenant, Sauron, nowhere to be found. They find him for a quick second right after the battle. And as they're cleaning up, they're more worried about Morgoth and all that kind of stuff. and it almost kind of reminds me of like you'd be watching it for like a scene.

And Sauron's just standing there in the middle of like the throne room as they're like carrying Morgoth out, dragging him out. And one of the Valor or whatever turns and looks back in him is like, what are you going to do? It's like, what do you mean? He's like, you should probably get back and maybe ask for some forgiveness to Manway and see what he wants to do with you. I think Sauron was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that. I just, I think I left something on. I'll be right back. And he basically bolts it.

headed that direction right now. I think he goes way, way far east and finds this place. My timing might be off on this, but he ends up finding this place what becomes Mordor. Mordor would basically, the area of Mordor, it has a mountain range, a huge mountain range, north, west, and south. So it's like a box. It's the size of Georgia. So, I mean, it's huge.

Yeah. But it's super defensible. So I think he ends up kind of starting to establish a power base there. and that's actually in the second age 500 years go by in the second age during that time there's some you know the first king of newmanor dies his line goes on and they're developing as a civilization some of like their architecture it looks like jacked up um like on steroids roman architecture like white marble it's yes yeah they're very they're they're very advanced so sarron actually starts building up some power and Like 500 years after he kind of establishes himself in Mordor, he builds this giant fortress. It's called a Bairdur. And then the elves that were hanging out kind of on the west coast, they start to kind of branch out. So that Kellebrimbor guy, the relative of Phenor, he kind of goes east a little bit and finds a place that's not too far east, still on the west side of the mountains.

And he establishes a place called a Ridgion there and basically establishes. kind of like a guild for like the craftsmen that are still like within the elves. And so they're working on like, you know, jewels and all that kind of stuff and trying to forge like new shit. People with like interests kind of. It, I think the area, the original, I'm trying to remember what the name of the city is that they're all in. I can't remember. I kind of see it as almost like a place where like artists would gather. It's kind of like that kind of place.

Like for three things like Alexandria. I kind of imagine it like that. And so Sauron, he disguises himself. He realizes that he doesn't have the strength to take them on in like a military fight. So he tries to, and he's a Maier, so he's not as strong as Morgoth. So even maybe one of these elves, if they really wanted to try to battle him, might be able to take him out. If he can't escape. Yeah.

And he'll, he, you know, his spirit can't be killed. So his spirit can try to escape. Yeah. Which you probably would be able to because I don't think. you can catch a fucking spirit. But his form could be destroyed. So he disguises himself as an elf, and he calls himself Anatar. And it, like, translates to, like, the Lord of Gifts.

And so he goes to... First, he goes to Gil Gallad, who's over on the West Coast. He's created this kingdom called Linden. So he first tries to go over there, and that's, like, where Galadriel and El Rond and Gilgallid are all hanging out. And he shows up, he's like, hey, guy, He's like, I'm an elf like you. He's like, hey, I know some stuff.

You guys want to build some stuff? He's like, I'm from Valinor. That's why you've never heard of me or anything like that. This is Steve Buscemi going to hang out with the kids. Yes. And they're kind of like, you know, the last thousand, two thousand, three thousand years have kind of shown us not to be super trustworthy of strangers. So we're just going to go ahead and ask you to turn around and leave.

We're not going to kill you. We're just don't want to hang out. who you are, but we don't, you don't smell right. Like, be gone. So he ends up cruising down to Origion and gets in with Killebrimbor and is able to kind of pique his interest. Because one of Solron, when he was a Maier, and he was under Valar like service before he went with Morgoth. He trained under Allul. So he was a really good Smith. So he had these talents that he could share. Yeah. He's like, you know what? That's a really good what you guys are doing there, but try this. And then it would help them progress. So he's like, you know what you guys should actually do is you guys should actually try to make rings that are able to go ahead and reflect your power. And then that'll allow you guys to like maintain your kingdoms and everything. I can show you guys like, let's work on that. And Caleb, remember, it's like, oh, that's an excellent idea. Or people can live on forever. The forest and everything will stay green. So he helps him craft. nine rings that all kind of,

they all seem to kind of look the same. He then crafts seven other rings that are a little bit different. And Sauron's plan basically is while he's helping them, he has a hand in making these rings. And what he's doing is he's essentially making them along the lines that he knows how they're made

and he knows what's going into them. And he knows what can, um, how he can tie them to something else to make them the wares be more malleable mentally to him. He's looking to go ahead and not conquer the Middle Earth by force. He's going to basically subjugate everybody and then he's just going to rule everyone through all these puppets. Sort of a infinity stones. Yes, but more of a mind control type thing.

Yeah. Yeah. He's still puppeteering the infinity stones. He's basically in control of all. all of these people and that's how and even if you know he doesn't control all the main people he can still create forces and armies of you know other people to fight against him so anyway it's going to be to his advantage so after he creates all of those like a hundred years later takes him 90 years to make these rings he ends up heading back to mortar he doesn't tell him that's where he's heading

but he's like you know what i'm going to head out for a bit i'll be back in a little while just keep everything going you guys are doing great so he bounced bounces back to Mordor and Bate pretty much within works on for like 10 years forging the one master ring knowing everything that he did

in all these other rings he's able to use that and tie them all into this master ring what he has to do though in order to kind of provide that power like imagine he has a cell phone with 100% he has to pretty much put 80% if not more of his power into this ring

to give it the effectiveness to subjugate all the other rings. Well, also during this time, after he leaves, Kellebrimbor makes three other rings. And he makes them like the best. Because now he's had 90 years to kind of hone his craft and everything. So he makes three rings just for the elves. That wouldn't be under the master ring.

Because he didn't have any influence. He didn't know what was up with them. So he creates three of them and he gives them to, he gives one, two, he keeps all three. And then he finds out that I'm trying to think. of exactly how he finds out who like how who's Soron is he somehow finds out kind of what's been going on

he starts to become wise to it and everything so he takes the three rings he keeps all the other ones he takes the three rings and he sends one to Galadriel and she's actually at this point she's moved to the east of the mountains and she's settled in this like big forest um trying to it's called Lorien he sends the other two

one for Gilgalad on the West Coast and hanging out with Gilgall is also that shipmaster, his name is Searden. Sends him one of the rings. Well, right after he ends up sending the rings off, Sauron attacks Reggion. He has forces built up. He's had his boys building up forces back in Mordor

this entire time he's been working on these rings. Attacks the city. Conquers it, sacks it. Tells Kellebrimbor, give me all the fucking rings. He's like, where's the other ones? I heard somehow he finds out there was other wings like, where's the other rings? so he's like I'm not giving you those

he ends up getting the nine and then the seven that were meant for the dwarves nine were to go to men and ends up killing Killebrimbor letting a bunch of his archers shoot his body full of arrows and then sticks him on a pike and uses him as a war banner

as he marches Vlad the Impaler kind of a little bit of Vlad the Impaler well when when Origion was under attack they got a messenger out to Gil Gallad and he sent Elron with a to try to help them out.

By the time they got there, it was too far gone. Because, I mean, we're talking, you're traveling from, you know, I think traveling across a state almost or partway across to state

to try to get somewhere. Nothing's happening fast. I mean, you're traveling by foot. Even if your elves, your stuff doesn't move. A lot of the time, like skipping events and everything like that, it sounds like it's all happening

really close together. But, I mean, there's so much distance that's having to be covered. And we've moved into more of a mortal realm where speed and magic and flying and these things were less common. Yeah, the eagles really aren't a factor.

They kind of just keep it themselves and everything. They'll come in every now and then, but it's not, there's, yeah, there's no flight or anything. Everything's wagon trains and horses. I mean, you can get some faster on horses, but I mean, if you've got elven horses, I'm sure those are faster than regular horses, but you're still having to, you know,

it's going to take you a few days to get somewhere. So, yeah, by the time they get there, it's already been taken and then they turn kind of toward Elron's forces and force them into the north and force them kind of into like a ravine and a canyon but it's also like super defensible so Elron's like okay cool

so he ends up developed like creating like a city there called him Laddras it's also called Riverdale Riverdale so that's where Elrond is now and then at this point It's too bad that didn't name it Scientology It's too bad that didn't name it Scientology or something like that

it was Elron that founded it. I wonder which El Ron... Is his name El Rond or Elron? El Ron Hubbard. This is El Rond. Oh, okay. Thank God. Maybe Elron ripped that off.

Maybe his parents were big Lord of the Rings fans. That might be the case. And maybe that's what inspired him to create all this fucking crazy shit. I mean, this is pretty crazy shit. But like his stuff makes this look like a fucking history list we're doing here. So when Sauron's forces first went against the elves, they still had the elves and Gilgallad still had relations with Numenor. After they've gotten settled and kind of established their empire,

they started like sending ships back and forth and communicating. During this time, the Numenorians also were sending ships kind of to the like south of Middle Earth and establishing a couple colonies and everything, far south of where all this other stuff is going on. Spreading, though. Yeah, so they have a presence and everything. And this is still during a time when there's going to come a time pretty soon after this where Numeror stops making contact and kind of takes a different direction.

That's kind of not Elv or Valar friendly. So, but at this time, they still have good, good relations. So Gil Gallaud sends a ship down. He's like, hey, Sauron's back. We're at war. He had sent a messenger down like a few years before and said, hey, there's some stuff going on. like there's more orcs showing up. Stuff, you know, is getting a little,

getting a little dark. Just giving you guys a heads up in case we think Sauron, we never captured him. Things are going a different direction. Yeah, he never got accounted for. So we think this rascal might be doing something. So if we need you, we'll go ahead and send a homing pigeon.

Well, they send it and so Numenor ends up sending a huge force up to Linden. And this is at the same time Sauron goes to attack Linden and Rivendale. Well, the new menorians show up and these are basically they're just a step below elves as far as like battle prowess these are people to live for up to 300

years their their naval is like naval power is like unmatched and on their island they just have a huge standing military so they're specialists and yeah they're not fighting farmers with pitchforks these are fully armored cavalry and everything so basically they show up combined

with the elves and they just mow fucking through them they force sarmes all the way back to like Origion almost destroys forces entirely he's able to barely escape back to Mordor with like a handful of troops and all the rings that he took and all the rings that he took so at this point he realizes that he has the rings now but his military is just complete shit so he's got to work to build that backup and everything he starts giving rings out to like the men that were loyal to Morgoth and everything he finds a couple of leaders of those men

gives them a ring. They're able to kind of reign in their troops become more powerful. And then he starts approaching, you know, news doesn't travel fast here. There's not a way to get messages out to everybody. So like, the only people that knew Sauron was back or anything like that or that he could show up in this

elvish disguise are all probably dead. They were killed when he took over the place where he was helping make the rings. And it's not like they're sending out fucking wanted posters. Have you seen this elf? Yeah, they have no idea. So he's able to infiltrate not only like all of these places where like little small kingdoms or villages of men with their leaders and be like, hey, this ring, you know, I'm with, you know, what would

it be like? I'm with Elvin ambassadors United. And we're just coming out here to go ahead and offer these rings that we're making to help you, you know, be more successful and be more powerful. They're like, well, absolutely. They're also going to make you live a little bit longer too. They have that power in them. They're like, fantastic, I can rule longer. They're not fucking questioning this shit. No. He ends up going to and having relationships with different dwarf tribes and gives the dwarves the seven rings that he made for them. Yeah.

Well, he doesn't account for the fact that when Al Ull made them, one of the things that he did was he made them extremely not susceptible to influence or anything. So the rings like don't do anything. If anything, all the only thing the rings do is it hyper-focuses them on like digging for treasure and trying to build shit. So they, in a way, it almost has them kind of, like enclose themselves a little bit, put up some walls. Well, and the dwarves had the three other rings, too, didn't they?

No. That went to different elves. Oh, okay. Different elves. Mm-hmm. So, kind of around, like, in the second age, like, now we're in, like, the 2000s. So, 20209 is when Numeror has another king that steps in, and this king is, like, openly hostile toward, like, the elves and the valor.

I don't know if he has a problem with like there seems to be a sentiment that kind of grows along the island that yeah we live a long time but why aren't we living forever? We fought just like our ancestors fought just like they fought just like they fought and everything. We risk just as much as they did and they get to live in this magical land

and we only get this island. It's a fucking paradise but like we only get to enjoy it for 300 years. They get to enjoy their land forever. So there's kind of a sentiment that starts gaining ground and then Numeru basically kind of gets devised into two different factions. They're called the faithful and they're called the Kingsmen.

So the Kingsmen are the ones that are against the elves. No one has like for a little while the faithful who kind of maintain the old ways and everything. They still secretly will receive elven ships and communications with them and everything. One of the rules that Numenor had put on it by the Valar is like, we're giving you this island. It's beautiful. You never have to leave it if you don't want to. You can if you want to. You can only sell east though.

never sell further west toward our lands if you lose sight of your island you've gone too far that's that's prohibited you can receive ships that come because that's the elves coming out but you're not... You're not allowed into the what they called the undying lands

Alonore it's still a pretty fucking good deal yeah but why that was it was the fate of men that was just the the fate of men your look right now is going to come into play to make some decisions. That exact look and what you're trying to, I think, get at.

It's going to be a big contributing factor as to what happens to Numeror. So more kings, more kings, more kings. Back in Middle Earth in like 2251, all those rings that he gave to the men, those kings are dead now. Well, not technically dead. What those rings did is, although they did make them stronger, live longer. What it also did is it also did is it, pretty much ate away at them until they entered into what they call like the unseen world.

It cursed them basically. So they are spirits, but they can grab. They're just invisible essentially. They faded out of existence. Into another realm. So there's nine of them. And they're called the ring race or the NASGEL. And so they usually wear all black cloaks and everything.

So the cloaks are just hanging over like formed, like like, formed, but like completely transparent bodies and everything like that. So they become essentially like Sauron's most loyal and like terrifying servants. You can't kill him. I mean, you can try to like defeat him and you can make them retreat and everything like that, but you can't fully kill him. So he's got nine lieutenants now. So they first make their appearance there. Let's jump forward another like 800 years.

So those guys are up, pucking around in Middle Earth getting up to all kinds of shit. He's still building or Sauron's still building up his forces. he knows the rings are working he probably has figured out that they're not working on the dwarves at this point and I think he actually goes to hunt down the dwarven rings to try to get him back because he's going to use him on more men and he can only get like a number of them back

um any questions no okay it's a lot of ring talk I like it I like that just the thought of like him trying to go back and pick up the things that he yeah he's not like he can't just appear

like that's what I think is kind of cool is he can't he's not just like a ghost that can like appear and everything he actually has to then go travel and find where these rings are and be like I don't know if he's like I'll kill you if you don't get or if he's shown up with his troops

or if he's shown up as that elf and being like remember when I gave you that ring spoke too soon it wasn't for you the doors were like no I've been having some pretty fucking good success to finding gold with this thing

you can't have this shit back it's not a brute force type take over the ring I'm sure he had to use that at some point because he did get a couple of them back, and I really don't see dwarves based on how it describes him of giving up jewelry or anything like that, unless they had something negative associated with it.

In 319, so we're like, you know, 8009 inheritance later, this guy named a Lendiel is born on Numenor. He's born to a family who is part of the faithful, and his mother teaches him essentially how to speak the elven language. It's called Kenway or Kenya or son. I can't remember, Quenia, something like that teaches him all about like the histories of them the relationship so he's like a captain what they call the seagard when he gets older basically numiners norm are navy but they kind of know

that he's one of the faithful so it's kind of kept him in kind of a different position yeah kind of like he's been he's been passed over for maybe some promotions or something like that um in 3177 this guy comes along and every um leader of newman has taken on the title, the first title is tar, T-A-R, and then they figure out a new name. It's kind of a Pope situation. So they say Tarr and then whatever the actual name is. And so this guy comes along and his name is Tarr Palantir. And he's the first, you know, he's in the line of kings, but he's the first one in hundreds of years who is like,

I think we've kind of been fucking up with this whole like Val-R hating thing and everything. he repents and basically tries to restore the old ways, but the Kingsman faction is so established. At that point, it almost causes, like, not like a full-on civil war, but there's, like, some... Civil unrest.

Yeah, it causes a lot of civil unrest and everything. It might, maybe a couple riots or something like that. And at this time, if you're thinking about it, I'm not sure exactly how many people initially went to Newman, but at this point, we're talking about hundreds, hundreds of years later, if not, you know, oh, well, sorry, no, thousands of years later, actually. Yeah, it would have to have been a decent chunk.

So, Numeron, being the size, it's heavily populated. It's got several cities and everything like that. Even, like, the segments of the star are their own, like, territories and factions and everything. But there is a centralized king. And it's been fairly peaceful, so there's not a lot of soldiers dying or population decrease. Exactly. I mean, the only time you're going to have soldiers fighting is if somehow two factions and it's getting sold, you know, the go. but I don't think it's come to that yet.

So he's trying to restore the old ways. His daughter is kind of like, she wants to help restore the old ways, but she sees where the friction is. Well, she's got this uncle. His name is, I can remember it's something Farazone. And when Palantir dies,

he essentially forces marriage on her and then takes the crown for himself. And so all of the kings that were kind of on the Valar side. They all took the title what I was telling you, Tar. Yeah. If they're against it, they're on the king's side. They do R. I know it's a weird stupid distinction, but his name ends up being R Farazan. And so he ends up taking the crown in like 3255. And at this point, Sauron has the one ring. He's dominated a lot of different factions of men, like up to the east of him and everything like that. And he is calling himself the Lord of

men. Now, as far as, like, I don't know how long it takes for that to get back to Arfara Zon, because he does have Numenorian settlements on in Middle Earth. So I'm sure that gets back to him at some point. And he's like, no, he's like, I'm the Lord of all men. He's like, that's not going to work. So in like five years later or six years later, he basically takes this massive army to Middle Earth and marches on Sauron and Sauron's troops see the Numerar Army and desert him and run. And the only thing

Sauron can do... Probably a smart move. Yep, the only thing Sauron can do is he basically drops to his knees. Before he gets captured, he takes on his what he calls his fair appearance, like as the elf and everything like that and basically just drops to his knees and surrenders himself. So they capture him and take him back to Numenor.

Somehow, within three years, Saran is now the lead advisor to the king. Always. I'm guessing it started out maybe not even on the boat ride there. Maybe, maybe even on the boat right there. They haven't chained up below decks.

Al Farisana is feeling pretty cocky, walks down below decks. He said, I'm the king of all men. Saran is like, yes, you are. Let's him come back. Maybe takes a few visits down to the dungeon. I think, What ends up happening is what it was the look that you kind of gave me when I talked about

how they're disgruntled about not having immortality. So he starts to talk to Al Farazan about that. Probably hears him gripe. Probably knows that's what his gripe is. You know, doesn't even need to hear him talk about it. He knows that's the one thing that they don't have that the elves do have. Mortality. So he starts to talk to him and that's how he gets in with his advisor.

And then he starts planting the seed essentially that the worship of every, that's all been a story that's been fabricated and everything. It's 3,000 years later, I mean, yeah, these people live for a long time. There's a lot of records. But at the same time, that's far enough distance away from, you know, the War of Wrath happening and Morgoth and everything like that. That I think how he establishes it is he's like, Morgoth was just over here trying to go ahead and create freedom for everyone and trying to throw out the powers. And what it ended up happening is the valor came over and reestablish order. This is the neo-Nazi shit.

No shit. He's like, gave you guys, yeah, he gives you this island, but then why just give you an island? Why don't you get to go live with all the other elves that they took back and have everlasting life? He's like, you know who can actually help out with that? He's like, Melkor. And he's like, in Melkor, I think you're going to find your salvation. And so he somehow establishes himself as the priest of Melkor. There was a, in the capital city in Numenor.

one of their I guess not like symbols or anything like that but they had this white tree and I think it was called the tree of Nimlough and it was a gift to them from the elves and what would happen no no I'm sorry from the Valar it grew in the courtyard of the palace

and it would bloom and the way that the leaves fell could actually tell you how the Valar were feeling toward you or something like that there was something but what ends up happening is it's a symbol essentially has been a symbol

of the partnership or whatever between elves and Valar and men and everything. That gets torn down. Sort of like a reading of the TV. Oh yeah, that gets fucking torched. They torch that shit. Well, Elendil, the guy that was like the sea captain, everything like that, they're part of the faithful. They're seeing all this happen.

His son sneaks in before they're able to torch and takes one of the fruits from it and runs off with it. How'd he got caught he would have been killed? What was the other, the faithful and the Kingsman? Kingsman. Yep. So then Sauron has made the high priest of Melkor and has them build a 500 foot tall temple to Melkor, where he then has human sacrifices of captured people of the faithful. Seems like a bit of an ask. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, these aren't willing sacrifices. A bit of a tell?

Yeah, maybe a little bit. Well, what he ends up doing is he convinces Al Faris-on because he starts getting older. You know, he's getting up there, he might be in his two 80s. And he's like, you're getting kind of the end of your life. Do you want to know the secret to immortality? And he's like, yeah, he's like, it's not the, it's not the elves being the elves. It's not the Valor being the Valor. It's the land in which they reside in. It's the undying lands.

Whoever lives in the lands. Oh, yeah. Never dies. So basically he turns it into it's something attainable. And so in like 3310, this thing called the Great Armourment begins in Al Farazahn is just like build me as many fucking ships as you can. We're going to fucking take our immortality. And like nine years later,

sails across with all of the Kingsmen, probably Shanghai's a bunch of faithful people and everything like that, and set sail over toward Valnor. At the same time, Elendell, as part of the faithful, has been kind of gathering like followers and kind of people trying to escape. And it's kind of on the other side of the eye.

island, I think, and he has nine ships and fills them with as many people as he can, and they kind of set off for, for Middle Earth. Sauron stays behind on Numenor. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So the armada gets to Valenor, and as soon as they hit land, I think either the Valar or the elves or anything like that were like, hey, Aru, like, the fuck, dude, you're going to let this

happen. and Avery kind of like looks down and he's like, fuck. He's like, I told him not to go there. So he fucking opens up the ocean, fucking crashes all their ships, and then basically just landslides this entire numinorian force

with mountains, just caves it in on him and buries him. He's like, there. He's done. And he's like, and honestly, guys, I don't want to have to handle this shit again or anything like that. So what we're going to go ahead and do is I'm going to go ahead and make the world round.

And then I'm going to make Valinor completely unfindable unless you're an elf. And he, it says it removes it from the world. Basically it puts it over the horizon. Wakanda is it? Yeah. Except now the flat earth has become the round earth. So, well, what ends up happening is

that's not enough. He's like, I told these fuckers not to come this far. So I got to take out their home. So then he sends a fucking tidal wave that completely obliterates and takes out Numerator. Saran along with it though So Saran was still there And was wiped out too His physical form is destroyed

Remember it can be destroyed And his spirit can live on Can live on So the spirit heads back from Mordor To reconstitute itself And to go ahead and you know Develop a new body and everything The one thing that I'm kind of curious about

Is if he had the ring With him While he was on Numenor Because then if he I don't He can't carry the rings of spirit Yeah it would have just dropped off And probably been washed away the tidal wave.

And it sunk Numeranor. It wasn't like it just a tidal wave came and cleared and the island was still there. It sunk the fucking island.

It just took everything. Yeah. So it completely took it off the map. So it's not like it can be at the bottom of the ocean and then he can be like, let's send some fishing boats out there to get it.

So he probably, and he still had servants back in Mortar, and he had a huge tower. He probably could have just left it there. I would imagine he probably would leave it there. Instead of being down in Newman's, Or. Yeah, because if something would have happened, like, that's the whole point.

Maybe he didn't get to bring it with him after he was jailed. If I was, you know, an evil fucking demigod, his whole play here was to get captured. Because he knew he could corrupt them. Because he knew what thread to pick out. It was the immortality thread. Especially if someone, their ego is so sensitive that him calling himself the Lord of All Men made this fucking king come over just to fucking capture him with all these dudes. he probably knew the guy was pretty easy to to fucking trick.

So, and even if he, but he had to know at some point, even by accident or if he got assassinated, the ring would be then on Numenor and someone could either pick it up and that guy could put it on and have the power, whatever, or it could be lost and he could never find it again.

So that's what it makes me think he probably kept it back because he didn't need the, it's not like he put a ring on Farazan's finger and then was suscepting him to his ring, making him controlled. He just did it through. It was just...

He also had some powers and everything, but yeah, I think he was just doing it by knowing exactly what to play on. Just a silver tongue genius. Silver tongue devil. So, what ends up happening is because the world has changed.

Once Alendil and his two sons, Seildor and Anerion, as their numinor is getting sunk beneath the waves apparently the Valar were like we're not going to kill all of you you guys were cool and everything so it sends a wind and the wind basically blows them quickly

toward middle earth well unintended consequences it separates them so Elindil and like three of his ships end up going up toward like Gil Gallad and Lindor which is farther to the north and then Isildor and his brothers end up

getting pushed kind of to the south and like toward a river and that river ends up happening to flow right past like the west mountains of mordor and that's where they established their kingdom okay and they call that one gondor and then the one that elendale ends up when he gets stuff to gilgalad and all those people he's like yeah he's like you guys are cool just kind of go inland a little bit and you guys can have this whole area it was the area essentially that was where like erigion was okay he's like we don't want it you guys are cool and everything go ahead and just take that over if anything to being small that's a fucking buffer kingdom between you and getting attacked by if Sauron does anything. Just be cool neighbors and we'll give you this area. That's the thing, but they were,

they had never met because relations between them, but like he knew that the Numenorians, essentially the good ones were probably friendly with them, I would imagine. They didn't have much of a choice.

Yeah. Wasn't like they had anywhere to go back to. Well, even just fucking as a spirit or not having a body, he still has the ring race, the NASGEL, those guys, those guys are able to act as lieutenants, fulfill his commands and everything, gather

troops. And so in 33, oh, sorry, so in 3320, that's essentially when Alendale and his sons create the two kingdoms. So they're building establishing forts. They had a presence. Remember I said they had some places in establishment before. So they had some people there. They knew like how to build and everything like that. So they end up building the city and Gondor they build a fort that's in the mountains that are on the border. The mountains that basically border Mordor and everything.

They build a fort, a huge fortress there, and this one is basically like, this is to guard this way out of Mordor so we can pretty much stop any of the evil shit from even getting out. And then there's the river that's like 30 miles west of that.

They build a city that straddles the river, a huge city that's their capital city called Oskilliath. And then about 10 miles, maybe like 20 miles a little bit further west. There's a big mountain range and a spur that came out of it. And they built this huge city called Minas Turrith. And that's the one that if you recognize it's got the big mountain that comes out like a point in the middle of it, it's like a seven-tiered city.

It's basically a circle, semi-circles to go around and then seven of them that go up. Okay. And they build these to basically guard against Mordor because that's where they know shit's going to come from. That's where it's coming from. So you have Minas Ethel, which is the one built into the mountains. That's where Is Sealedor, the oldest son, rules from. Him and his brother kind of share rulership of Gondor, and their dad hangs up north in Arnor.

So he's like, you boys handle shit down there. I'm going to be up here. You cover that. I'm going to take here. Yeah, exactly. So Sauron ends up actually reestablishing and building up enough strength that pretty much like two, about 200 years, oh, sorry, 100 years later, he attacks Minosethel, the fortress in the mountains.

and the tree that is sealed or the fruit that he had got, he was trying to keep Normanor alive and everything, you know. He planted that in the courtyard of his fortress city. Well, it ended up getting burned, but he got away with like a couple seeds of it. So he ends up getting out and escaping Toskeliath, and then he escapes over to where his brother's at and his brother's in Minas Turrith.

So that's like the next guard city. So he's like, hey, you got to try to try to hold this shit back. I'm going to go fucking get dad telling what's up, you know, Sauron's back. We need to fucking rally the troops. So he fucking hauls ass up north and, you know, northwest. Trying to get to his dad. Yep.

Gets to his dad. And in like, it's a year, it's a year later. So Gil Gallad, Elendiel, they get together. They're like, all right, this, we got to fucking knock this out right now. We can't let him get any stronger. So they form what's called the last alliance of men and elves.

So Elend. the Newman Orions there and the elves, they all march toward the mountains east. They meet up with Elron and Rivendell. Three years, they spent training and making weapons. Fucking running drills and everything like that. Getting their army ready to fucking go.

They're gathering strength. You know, other elves have to come down from different areas. Yep. They got to build up their strength. They know what they're going against. And they pretty much know that this is kind of their last shot at it. They know he has the ring and everything.

They know what he's capable. of. They march on Mordor like three years later. And so the only way that's really into Mordor is right at, if you're looking at it like a clock,

right at like the 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock corner of the square, there's a little break in the mountains. And he built this huge massive fucking gate. They're called the Black Gate. And then behind that is a little valley. And then behind that a little ways is like his fortress.

Mountain Doom where he forged the one ring. Yeah. So they march essentially. The only way in is this gate. So right in front of the gate is this huge plane. And they call it the battle plane. Well, he sends out all of his orcs and everything like that. And the fucking alliance kicks her ass. Nice.

Blow through the black gate. And they have to... They lay siege to Baradour for seven years. Damn. His fortress. is, you know, the size comparisons, you know that tower in Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi.

Yeah. The Burj Khalifa or whatever it's called. It's taller than that. And it's about four times this big, round and thick. And then, you know, when you see the images of the eye of Soron, well, he still has his body,

he has his body now, but that's where the eye is at the very top. It's enormous. So it's the giant plateau almost. Yeah, but it's a tower. Devil's Tower kind of looking just straight up out of the ground. Yes, yep. But it's got a huge wall.

Like, it's got tears and fortress, like built all around it. So they're laying siege to this thing for seven years. Also, this, like, where they're at in Mordor because of... So the orcs, they can't really move in sunlight. That's one of, like, the bugaboo's about them, is they can't really move in sunlight. The sun burns their skin. Yeah. So the reason that he also chose Mordor is because it had that volcano.

He was able to go ahead and cause that volcano. to erupt and constantly have it spewing like soot and ash into the sky. And then the mountain rain just kind of kept it in. So basically it's a land of just darkness. And so like even the air is just like ashy and it's like a fume and everything. So thinking of them having to lay siege to this place for seven years and have to like bring in supplies from across the country, just like it's crazy. Yeah.

And being away from seven, you know, for seven years just trying to tear this fortress. down. In the darkness. In the darkness. Well, like four years, oh sorry, like six years into this siege, Anerion, the younger brother of a Sealdor, he ends up taking a rock to the fucking head that was launched

out of one of the top tiers of this and it kills him. And he was one of the top leaders. He was the high king of the Numenor. He was the son, not the oldest son, but one of the one Sharon ownership of Gondor. So a year later, the

battle isn't going well for Sauron. He's been under siege for seven years. He's finally either strong enough or he's just like, fuck it. So he comes out. And as he comes out, he basically comes out with a force that then backs up and forces, like the Elven and Alliance forces and men force, like back toward the volcano. And so this final battle ends up taking place kind of on the slopes of the mountain. And it finally gets to the point during this battle where kind of a the leaders find each other. Gil Gallid and Elendiel are the leaders of the Numenorians and the

high elves, they end up finding Sauron or he seeks them out. And all of them fighting against each other two on one, I think like Gil Gallad has his giant spear. That's what he fights with. It's a glave. So it's the stick with a huge scimitar blade on the end.

He ends up taking it to I think Sauron's like neck and gets him a little bit. At the same time, Sauron grabs him by the neck, and his hand is so white-hot that it basically burns him alive and just, like, torches him into ash. And at the same time, I think Alendale went to go stab him and pushed it into the side. And at that point, I think Sauron catches him with a mace or something like that. And just, I mean, this guy, Sauron's like 10 or 11 feet tall. And yet just crushes him in his armor.

And as he falls, he falls onto his sword. And it breaks the sword into shards. well, Sauron goes down and Isildor is there and what he does is to make sure he goes up and he cuts the ring off of his finger and as he cuts the ring off of his finger because his physical forms now destroyed

he turns into a spirit has to flee and gets the fuck out of there. Can't take the ring with him. Well, I don't think he took, even if I mean, a steel door's holding it. So at this point Elrond is there. I think he might be

the next up tier level leader because he was kind of Gil Gallid's second. Right there, right hand, man. Yep. And him and I think another elf leader, I don't know if it was Seared in or not, but basically they see a seal they're holding it and they're like, hey, let's go fucking destroy this thing. Like, that's, we can, we can finish this.

We don't know, you know, they, get rid of it. They don't know, of course, like, that all of Sauron's, like, power is tied to it and everything. And as long as the ring survives, he survives. Because if the ring would have been destroyed so much of his power was in the ring, the spirit couldn't have survived. The spirit was only 20% of his power. It was just barely able to survive.

It could have never regenerated. So they tried to get him to go to Mount Doom to destroy. And he's like, no, he's like my, no, I'm taking this shit. He's like, this is my recompense. I'm the man now. He's like, my father just died. My brother was just killed a year ago. He's like, I'm taking this.

This is my recompense for the, you know, for all the pain I've endured that this man, and, you know, this guy has caused me. So. he ends up, they can't force him to do it or anything. They'd have to kill him and then that causes, that's the king now. That would have turned the new minorities against them. It would be civil war between the last alliance and no one would get home. So they have to let him take it.

I don't think they knew at that point like what all was tied to the ring because they also tore down the tower. But they couldn't tear down the foundations. They couldn't wreck the foundations. He had actually infused the foundations with like power from the ring. and as long as the rain survived, the foundation's good. And this comes into play when he starts to try to, when he rebuilds and gets his power back. So, Asildor, he ends up going back to Gondor,

goes to Ministerreth. I think Anerion's son, he had a son. He was there kind of ruling in his father's stead. He's like, sorry, man. He's like, your pops is gone. He's like, I'm going to hang out for a couple years and show you how to rule. But since I'm now the high king,

I got to be up north in order where our other kingdom is. that's where my seat is. I got my priorities too. But you're going to stay down here and run some shit down here. So then he has his three oldest sons with him, a Seelor does. He's had his three oldest sons with him. And he took his youngest son,

and his youngest son was actually in, um, had been left in Rivendale for safety. Just in case, you know, everyone died. There would still be an air. Fallback plan.

Yeah, an heir to the, to the Newmanorian throne essentially. Um, so two years after, he ends like, I'm going to start heading north, back to my kingdom. He ends up leaving with his, like a pretty big contingent. He's the Hyde King.

He's going to leave with a pretty good large size of troops. And he's heading up north. And he gets to this place along, you know, the stretch river. And he wears the ring around his neck. And when he'd first got in the ring, he had noticed it had a bunch of writing on the outside of it. After it had come off of Sauron's hand. And when he was holding it, he said, the ring was, you know, it was huge. because I had to fit over Sorin's finger.

It started to shrink down. He's like, but it lost none of its shape or anything like that, but the writing was read on it. And it was in like a form of elvish or something. Yeah. He's like, I don't know what it says. I don't read it. He's like, but it starts to fade.

It started to fade. So I'm going to write it down here on this scroll. And he basically details in a scroll, his finding of the ring, what happened, his feelings on it and everything like that. And then it keeps out of Ministerreth. It's like his journal or some shit or like his memoirs. memoirs.

Memoir. So as he's writing up north, he's wearing the ring on a necklace around his neck. And apparently the ring still has the power to essentially try to draw evil to it. And so there's still orcs around the mountains and all this kind of stuff that have been hanging out. Well, it ends up drawing all of these orcs toward him

and they surprise attack all of him and all of his troops. All of his troops are killed. His three oldest sons are killed. He takes the ring off and puts the ring on. When he puts the ring on, it makes him invisible and transfers him over to that wraith world. Yeah. So he can't be seen, but your footsteps can be seen and everything. He gets it and he runs for the river.

He's swimming across the river and he gets about halfway across and the ring comes off of his finger. And as soon as it does, he becomes visible again. And he, when it came off of his finger, basically, he didn't even really try to go back for the ring. He reached for it a couple times, but then he was like, oh, that's, actually that's kind of a weight. Okay. And he got back and tried to swim. It helped me get far enough away where I can.

Yeah. But he wasn't like, he was kind of obsessed with it, but not enough to be like, oh, it almost felt like a burden was lifted off of him. And he got to the other bank. Well, when he started to get up out of the water, the other bank, he was visible. And a bunch of archers from the other side shot him and killed him. So there goes. That line is only survived essentially by the young son that's over in Rivendell.

And the ring is in the water. And the ring sinks, and this isn't a small river. I mean, it might have narrowed down at this point, but it goes straight to the bottom. It could be moved and everything. You know, who knows if it's sold, but this is like, if we're talking distance from the actual where this empties into the sea. If we're comparing it to the U.S., this thing gets dropped in like Nebraska. I mean, pretty midway. As far away as you can almost.

Yeah. It's not going to reach the, like, I don't know how it's going to reach the ocean. Yeah. But I mean, who's going to think to look in there? They didn't know what was causing him to become invisible. They just saw him appear and go into the water. It's not like they were just like, that must be the ring. Like how many orcs knew that Sauron had a ring?

Yeah. It wasn't like. They just knew that he was the leader. They didn't know why. Yeah, exactly. All this water talk has me thinking we needed a bathroom break. Okay. All right.

That should be our last pee break, I'm guessing, depending on how much longer I drone on. If you're still with us, God bless you, and you're going to be very well informed at the end. I don't know if there's another extremely comprehensive, historically themed marijuana-themed podcast about this. No, I bet we're probably tops there. Well, hopefully.

These things go hand-in-hand because I feel like Mr. Tolkien, his mind to wrap just all this stuff into one thing is, more vast than I think anybody I can think of. Looking into this, man, like I had, like, what I would consider, like, a very good knowledge of this stuff,

but after doing, like, the deeper dig, and honestly, there was some stuff that I did not look into just simply because it was talking about lineages, and it's like playing a RPG. Like,

you have the main story quest, and if you do that, you still get the story, and you still get all the pertinent facts, but you also get stuff doing, like, side quests and side missions and everything that enriches the story.

So if, if I had to talk about that, I'd need 50 more fucking index cards and another 15 hours of your time, so I'm not going to subject you to that. Was it him or was it like more fan fiction stuff? Him.

Him and his family. So Christopher Tolkien also has had a hand in this in like finishing his father's works and kind of elaborating on some stuff, but it's the Tolkien family. This is not like, the only thing that's comparable to it is, and I think it's broader now,

would be Star Wars, and that's just simply because there's been so many offshoots of different characters that have gone on. or invention of different characters that weren't previously established here. Was George Lucas just the director of Star Wars? No, he wrote it.

Okay. Yeah, he wrote it too. What I'm saying is, like, there's also been stuff that's been inspired entirely by fan fiction, and there's so much fan fiction when it comes to Star Wars. So that universe was expanded by... Other authors and everything like that, too. There's a ton of different authors that are contributed.

But Tolkien is just the Tolkien family. That's why it's so amazing. Just the depth. Yeah, the sheer volume. of like everything and for him just to tie everything back together and we just all these interconnected stories okay we're getting to the good stuff for you now so ring is lost in the river so that's the two years after the third age starts another thousand years go by and basically during the thousand years is it's a lot of kings of gondore taking place having skirmishes with other human

settlements and stuff um interactions with like dwarves and interactions with elves and That takes place all over for about a thousand years. So in Third Age 1000, this is when we get into the Wizards. So they're called the Ishtar, and they're actually Ma'ar. So it's like the Ma'ar, but it's letting you know that they're the wizard faction, like the wizard. The guys that were playing D&D while they were waning over in Valinor, they were like, let's fucking cast spells and shit.

So they get sent over, and who gets sent over initially is Gandalf. I didn't write down what his. my our name was the guy that would be sarahmon the white at the time christopher lee in the historical accurate representation motion picture event um he's kind of the he's supposed to be a little bit higher tier wizard like white gray and then um another guy comes down with him is called his name is radagast and he's radagast the brown he's like a nature dude so he's like living with all the animals in the forest he likes to partake a little bit and everything mother nature Yeah. Mother nurture for this guy. He's got like a bird living in under his hat, like a little bird nest on his head. He talks to squirrels all day.

Did we get into the... No, that's coming. I'll get to that when it hits. This guy was finding out, oh, he was a wizard, man. He was able to concoct all kinds of spells and potions and everything like that. He didn't need modern cropping. So they arrive. Gandalf is, he didn't, well, he didn't, well, want to initially come over. And he was talking to... Good thing he did. Anyway, well, that's why. So he was talking to Manway, and he's like, hey, some stuff's kind of brewing over there. We're going to go and send some help. You know, we didn't send any help last time and shit hit the fan. We don't want to have to go ahead and all of us go over there again.

It's get in front of this. Yeah, we're going to go and send over you guys clean up some stuff. Try to guide them to a solution, basically. And so, Gandal was like, yeah, I don't like Sauron. I really don't want to go. and he's like, that's why you probably should go because you're not going to underestimate him and everything. So as soon as Gandalf gets there,

he basically starts just like making moves of trying to get a lay of the land, finding out where the alliances are, the statuses of everyone, like how the elves are doing all that kind of stuff, goes and introduces himself essentially to all of like the elven commanders and all like the kings, everything, like, hey,

I'm May I'm, I'm Gandalf, they know him by different names and everything. So he's making moves. This is also when the precursor, to the best people of Middle Earth, the Harfoots. So the Harfoots are kind of an offshoot or precursor to the Hobbits, and they were more nomadic. They actually traveled.

And so this is why it's the first time they always used to kind of roam the area that was kind of north of Mordor, a little northeast. They would have like a migration pattern that they would travel with the seasons for like food and all that stuff. So they end up because more. border is fucking waste, you know, wasteland. And it's affecting all other kinds of shit. They got orcs fucking roaming the lands.

They're like, yeah, we should probably get to relatively safer area. Probably still dark as could be. So they cross the misty mountains into what's called area door. It's where Arnor is and everything like that, Rivendell. Yeah. And then that's where they kind of find their way to the shire. They kind of find this area that's basically kind of protected on certain sides. by forests, and then it's just this lush green country.

Most beautiful place on Earth, or Middle Earth. So that's when actually they settle in the Shire. At this point, Sauron is hanging out, kind of hiding out as a spirit, and instead of just hiding in Mordor, where I think they kind of have, they have guards there. Basically, they've left a detachment, Gondor mans, the Black Gate. They have soldiers living there to make sure nothing escapes. They've taken over, taken back over.

that mountain fortress and everything in there using that. So nobody comes in, nobody goes out. Yeah, and Sauron can get in as a spirit, but he also can't, if they see any buildup of troops, they're just going to wipe him out.

He doesn't have a chance to build a power base. So he ends up going to this place and it's called Dolgulur. And basically it's, I'm trying to think in the sense of like our country, if Mordor is Georgia, then he's hanging out in like Illinois, maybe like southern Illinois

and basically at this old fortress at like the edge of this huge forest and the rest of the forest on like the north side of it is run by these elves called the wood elves and they're kind of like assholes. So he's hiding out there

another 980 years go by and the dwarves that are hanging out in Moria where all the dwarves kind of settled under the Durans people and made that huge, city that went from mountain one range to the other yeah so they are just fucking crazy digging for minerals and all that kind of stuff gold jewels they find this stuff that's only in moria and it's

called me thrill and basically it's this metal that almost like emanates light and it's like light almost like a feather but it's like hard as shit so it's just this mirror and you can fashion it anyway you want it's weirdly as hard as it is and it's durr You can fashion it really easily And you can make chain mail shirts and they never rust or age you never have to take it's it just a vibranium Yes pretty much Unantanion vibranium out of man whatever you you know Pick your pick your amazing metal

So they've been just mining this shit as far as they can They have like a couple seams of it and they just have to keep going deeper and deeper and deeper Well they end up fucking waking up one of the ballrogs that was fucking hiding out and the dwarves are like fuck so they try to fight it throughout this entire huge underground city it keeps pushing them back killing everybody they it's a fucking

damn god they can't fucking beat it by themselves and it ends up killing the current king Duren and then also his son Nane and they both die before it finally just drives them out so they woke him up through their their mining and everything and then he was sleeping down in some cave

they dug two fucking deep down and they fucking woke them up. So at this point the dwarves, they actually head kind of like northeast and they find this, compared to it always looks like Mount Rainier. Find this one single solitary peak kind of in a flat area. I know Rainier has mountains around it, but the height I'm thinking of it. And it's just they call it the lonely mountain and they made their home there and dug a huge empire and then find out it was just fucking filled with gold and jewels and all that kind of stuff. score. It was a great fucking score. So they,

yeah, they go in, they name it Aibor, and they call it the kingdom under the mountain. And so basically the next guy in line from Nane or whatever, he got to go and take over kingship. And that's kind of where the dwarves hung out for a while. In 2002, I'm just going to name off some, sorry, this might be kind of boring. This guy named the Witch King, he was basically the lead ring wraith. In the other world. No, no, no. He's the, like, the ring race still exist. He's, like, the leader of them.

He's like, he's basically what Sauron was to Morgoth. He is to Sauron. He's like his most loyal and, like, dangerous servant and everything. He's the one. He's not in the black robe? Yes, he is. He's just the leader of them. He was like the, the, when he was corrupting the kings of men,

he was like the greatest king of king at the time that got corrupted by the ring. And aren't they invisible because they live in another world? Yeah, sorry. So, yeah, that's why they call them wraiths. So they exist in the shadow world, but that just makes them invisible in ours. They still exist in ours. They can only be seen in that one. Kind of like when, you know, if Frodo would have put on the ring, he becomes invisible.

But he can still leave the footprints and move around so he could have disappeared in one place, move in the wraith world, and then appear in our world in another. You still see his footsteps and everything. So it wasn't a ring wraith, but he, used it to Yes, the ring allows you to enter that. Yeah, to enter that world. So he ends up taking over that mountain fortress again so they can tell

that Sauron's starting to kind of build his power again. And then finally, after a long time, if you go through enough years, even with like the Numenorians having longer lives through like interwar with like other species or other like factions of men and everything like that,

the line of kings for Gondor actually kind of fails. And so then stewards have to take over. So basically you have this huge long line of basically a guy sitting in the chair next to the throne that's not the king, but it's kind of the king, and probably gets used to have powers the king. Proxy king. And then

like 500 years, or sorry, 400 years after that, that's when Gullum finds the ring. So Gullum started out as this guy named Smigl and he was kind of a hobbit. Interesting creature for sure. Oh, he becomes one. He starts out kind of like Frodo. He's a hobbit, but he's kind of a little bit different. Him and his cousin

Deagle, again creative naming here. At this point in the story, do you, at this point in the story... The creativity's already been established. I was going to say, yeah, do you think in this point he's just like, fuck, I'm just going to keep rhyme in names. I mean, their parents, what I'm talking about. The parents of them. It was his cousin. Even worse,

naming that close to your cousin, man. What was your sibling named? It's a bad deal. So he's out fishing. Smigel's over on the bank. big old fucking fish pulls Deagle out of his boat and pulls him down toward the riverbed he opens his eyes and sees something shiny there sitting on the bottom reaches down and grabs it

swims to the bank Smegel has been watching him kind of from behind a tree Deagle's looking at this ring and his hand is just like fixated on it Smigle sneaks up behind him and sees the ring and just fucking chokes him to death and takes the ring I think he goes back

no one ever finds the body I don't know if he tries to go back to like his village but then he ends getting, I think, yeah, he gets exiled and he just fucking moves up into the fucking mountains to be with the ring. Yeah, he's got his ring. That's all he cares about. He's up there just fucking eating fish

out of fucking disgusting fucking creeks. He's living a life. Well, he had it for like 450 years. So that's what it ends up turning him into. The golem that you know, that's how they kind of figure out that, that's one of the reasons that Gandalf wants Frodo to carry the ring because he sees how resilient like the species of hobbits are. So,

yeah, Ghalm takes it and it doesn't start transforming him like that. Like normally, like a human man, if they had it, it extended their life a little bit. But once they hit that 200, 250,

that's when they faded away and everything like that and became a wraith. Gallum had it for like, I think like 450 years. And so when Gandalf, kind of saw that, he was like, oh shit. He put that together later. That's why the hobbits could maybe carry it. But yeah, he didn't even turn into a race.

His body withered and he turned into like this creature. But how much of that was like as necessity to live surviving the mountains and shit? Yeah, he was in solitude at that point. So living that kind of lifestyle, how many times does he slip in that on and off of his finger just to escape? So he has the ring the entire time, you know, from 24, 60. all the way up to like 2941. So he has a long fucking time. He has it so long that an entire kingdom,

another kingdom is founded, and it's the horse guys, Rohan. Yeah. And then finally, so after Morgoth's defeat, there were a couple dragons, there might have been one or two dragons that survived,

and they flew up north to survive. And so they had bred a little bit, and there were still a couple dragons, but they had like this weird, fascination with the dwarves because dragons love treasure dwarves love treasure we're going to let you go ahead and dig up all the fucking treasure and then the dragon come in and take it

so like in 2770 this dragon fucking comes knocking at the door of Aibor knows how big of a treasure they have they've got word of it the treasure room of this place is just massive massive massive hall just filled like a fucking Scrooge McDuck swimming

fucking vault times you know a hundred and there's a city right outside the lonely mountain named Dale where men lived like a pretty big city and they had a really good relations with the dwarves that traded with them and everything it was a huge hub up north while the dragon comes down and just instantly torches the town tries to kill everyone in there and then it means business oh fuck yeah it knows what's in the mountain and doesn't even hesitate bust down the door and just kills a shit ton of dwarves and then gets down into the treasure room and

nestles itself down and all the dwarves have to end up fucking abandoning the mountain so that's actually, did you ever read that historical book, The Hobbit? Yeah, I think that was a signed reading in school. History class. So just as, actually, we can just fire through this. It's pretty easy. So what ends up happening is after like dwarves live 250 years and everything. Good life, fan.

Yeah. So one of the guys that ends up getting forced out of Arabour is, actually, there's the king, the king's son and then his son. So three lines of them. They all survive the attack on airborne. They get out and basically they're like, well, we don't have any fucking where to go. So they tried to retake Moria,

what they call Moria now, the underground, under Mountain City. It's Moria, the one that the Balrog was woken up in. So they end up like fighting through a shit ton of like orcs and shit like that because the ballrog is like, well, you guys are shitheads too. You guys can live here where I live.

Probably draws to them. Yeah, it's probably, like their fucking god probably does whatever he wants them to do um so they end up defeating all the orcs but like literally they get to the door of like killing all the orcs and start driving them into the city and as they peek through the door like back in the distance the ballrog is just sitting there and they see it and they're like fuck it's still here like it didn't and so they have to fucking abandon it because yeah we can kill all the orcs but the ballrog's got they literally got all the way in there and they saw it and they were just like fuck

So a few, I think, like 100 years go by, something like that. So during that, one of the battles, the king is killed trying to retake it. So his son is next in line. His son ends up disappearing somewhere. And so the third guy in line, which is the king's grandson, his name is Thorin. And so Gandalf starts to kind of get an inkling that Sauron might try to go ahead and get the dragon on his side, which, like, going back, to the time of Morgoth, like that one dragon, even the one that couldn't fly,

fucking won him how many, like, battles and everything. There's a history between dragons and... Not only that, like, even one dragon's a huge weapon. Like, how hard would it be to take a dragon down? Yeah. So... Soren's a pretty good talker. Yes.

I can get a little ring around that dragon's finger. I'll put all the rings on his little fucking dragon claws. Yeah. This is a fucking takeover his mind. So Gandalf ends up finding Thorin. and oh sorry before he finds Thorin he looks all around for Thorin's dad as he was Thrain and looks all around for him can't find him anywhere finally somehow gets a hair up his ass that he's like I wonder if I go back to that Dolgordua place where I thought

Sauron might be hanging out I'm going to search that place he goes and he finds Thrain there in a dungeon and for some reason captured captured okay and so the only thing he can do before he dies Thrain does is he gives him a map and a key. And the map and the key is a map to a door that lets you get in a secret way into the Lonely Mountain to Aerobor because the dragon,

you couldn't go in the main entrance anymore. It blocked it off and it would hear people coming in that way. And then the key to open it somehow when he was captured they didn't search for a key or map. So anyway. This prison wallet.

That's probably where, yeah. You're never going to want to let this map dry out. Lay it out flat and put a heavy book on top of it. Um, so after he gets that, he goes and finds, um, Thorin and he's like, hey, I got an idea. He's like, I have, I just so happen to have this stuff. And he's like, let's take a small group and let's sneak in. And what we'll do is we can sneak in and like try to kill the dragon that way or try to force the dragon out.

Because if you're going to march a whole army there of dwarves, they're going to know it's coming way before you get there. They're going to have a chance to prepare the dragon could just come out and burn you guys from the air. So he's like, we're going to need someone that can be really quiet to break in. We're going to need a burglar. and they're like okay and he's like I think I have an idea and because Gandalf had been in and out of the shire throughout like all of his travels and everything he had kind of seen how hobbits were that they were like if you were a normal person and a hobbit went past you almost know don't even notice them they don't hide or anything like that they're just they're very stealthy and quiet

mischievous stealthy not all of them was chevious that's what he had to try to find because most hobbits do not like adventure they only like hobbits like a few things they like farming. They like drinking and making ale. And they like, did I miss the pipe weed thing? They like smoking pipe weed. Which, yeah, I did miss a little bit of that. A while back before

the smog, the dragon attacked Airbor over in the shire, a guy named Tobald Hornblower grows the first pipeweed in the shire. And one of the, and he grows it in a place called the South Farthing so and then there's also someone that started growing it too and his last name was long bottom so there's a couple different strains so there's a stuff called old toby after this guy it's like the OG and then the other one is called long bottom leaf oh that's awesome that's why the hobbits are the most just like associatable you know race and everything like they like to eat and drink and just fucking smoke and like they like to be in their houses and shit so Gandalf comes in and he's like looking for the right hobbit and

and he keeps hearing word of this hobbit that's kind of like strange and like not like everyone else like he'll disappear for days at a time or be caught talking to like strangers from outside the shire and shit so he goes to find this guy and it ends up being Bilbo Of course. Well the name like Bilbo you're definitely mischievous Well he ends up coming back like 20 years later After kind of initially identifying him

And then comes back when the plan is finally How they're going to get to like the Lonely Mountain and all that kind of stuff Get everything get the group assemble it's going to be a small group and get them all together. So he comes back and Bilbo's kind of like a little more reserved at this point, but he ends up shanghing him into this thing. Oh, yeah. And basically during their adventures,

I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty, but they end up making it to like the Misty Mountains. They go to cross over the Misty Mountains because they're coming from the Shire. They go through Undel, cross over the Misty Mountains. While they're over there, they end up getting caught like in this little cavern, and the cavern is actually a trap door into like, like basically as huge like orc goblin settlement underneath the mountains. And they get forced down in there.

Well, what happens is after they get trapped in this trap door, Bilbo ends up going down to another level or falls down this like hole. And when he's down in this crevice, crevasse crevice, that's where Gallum's been hiding. And how Galem's been surviving is orcs or goblins that fall down there. He fucking bashes their heads in him and eats them. you gotta do what you gotta do. So Bilbo falls down with this fucking goblin and then Gollum fucking kills it right in front of him.

So the ring doesn't really have the ability to like, of course, really move itself or anything, but it has a will. So it's been with Gollum this whole time, but it knows where it wants to be. Yeah. So at this point, Gallum keeps it in a little tiny,

you know, he's wearing this tiny fucking loincloth or whatever. He keeps in a little pouch. And so the ring while he's like moving around, it falls out. and Bilbo finds it. And he ends up escaping the mountain with it. And then at the same time,

the dwarves kind of escape whatever situation there and then they meet outside the mountain. And Gandalf is kind of like suspicious of him a little bit. Like how did you get out of there? Like, and then you just seem to have appeared like bias everything. And at some point, Gandalf gets an inkling that he has a ring. But there were a lot of different,

like you were asking me earlier. Like, are we getting into the rings? There were rings made that were like called lesser rings or that had different enchantments on it. and everything like that. They were known. But the big thing about that too is, even before the rings that like Sauron crafted

that had like different designs or they all had a jewel in or something like that. There were magic rings. There were ones that were made prior to that that were like just little enchantments. Like you could make you disappear for a little bit. And they all were unremarkable.

They were just solid gold. So that's why he was kind of like, oh, that's probably just one of those. If he found it in the mountain, like how we'd have gotten there. Just a rando. Plus he's trying to get these fucking dwarves to this mountain

to fucking take out this draft. and he's got another shit on his plate. So they end up taking back Aribor. Bilbo helps them. There's a big battle when Sauron actually send some forces up there to try to cut the elves or cut the dwarves off and try to kind of weaken the north so he can also take over that area.

Less people to fight against him in the war coming up. Gullum ends up like leaving the mountain like three years later. For Bilbo to get back and everything. he was gone for about a total year on this whole quest. So after he was at Arabore for a little bit, him and Gandalf actually went back to the shire together. And then he was already back in the shire. So he beat him back.

No, no, no. Gullum had no idea where the shire, like anything like that. When him and Bilbo were talking a little bit, well, before he escaped, Bilbo had mentioned something about what his name was, and he said Baggins. And then he mentioned something about the shire.

So Gullum had heard those two words. Okay. So, but Ghalm had no knowledge of what, you know, the Shire was. He, 450 years earlier,

it might not have been called that or it might have been something different. So he ends up coming out of the mountains looking for the ring. He doesn't know also

if Bilbo's even there. So he's just looking all over. Sarmon, that wizard that was with Gandalf, he ends up taking up shop at this place called Eisengard. It's kind of like a tower that guards this pass

between the mountains. And he's kind of doing it under the guise of being like, hey, I'm here for wisdom if anyone wants to come fucking needs counsel or anything like that. He was part of this thing called the White Council with a bunch of other major players

in Middle East. I'm going to pay it forward. But really, in reality, he's actually looking for the ring. And he's sending people that work for him up and down where that river was because he has an idea after doing kind of like hearing stories and capturing people

of what might have happened. So he's been searching it all the while during these things called the White Council. The White Council was there were no black people there so might have, it wasn't, it was white because it was supposed to be good, but now that I'm thinking about it.

So it was Elron, like Gil Gallad, Galadryl, um, Saramon and, Gandalf. And Gandalf was like, I don't think the ring's destroyed. Like,

it's, I think it's still out there somewhere. We should probably be looking for it. And, um, Sarmone, it's like, if it was fucking, even if it wasn't destroyed,

like the river would have washed it out to the ocean. There's no, There's no way to find it. And Gannels was like, I don't, I don't think so. Like, that seems, you're, you're making it seem too easy. So I don't know if he really suspected him, but he's been looking for the ring too. At this point, too, Gandalf meets a guy named Aragorn. And Aragorn ends up being next in line.

He wasn't, you know, how I said when Aseldor was heading back up to take over the kingdom after the war in his father of slain. how his last kid was in Rivendale. Well, the one that was running. Yes. So he ends up being king of Arnor because, you know, his nephew, I guess, is still back in Gondor running things. He didn't die or anything. So that youngest son becomes the king. And then along the lines, that kingdom was kind of destroyed or broke up and everything.

And so they took, he was a descendant also of those Numeronor guys. So he had the long life 300 years. So that line was kind of staying intact. where they had that longevity. And the last person in that line was Aragorn. And he had that ring of Barahir. That's how it tied him. That was the ring that way back in the time of Morgoth, that El Finrod or Fingon gave to...

Oh, given to... Okay. ...gave to Barahir as a sign for helping them and saving them. Okay. So that was to mark the lineage of the king. So that's how they knew that Erigorn, he carried that ring. He got it legitimately. supposed to be the heir to the throne of like men basically he he was staying in hiding but he

also didn't really it sounds like he didn't he he was going to do it but he was trying to like help out like gandolph like gandolph had gotten in touch with him and he was trying to he knew that being king wasn't going to win the war he knew that he could help by helping to find the ring and finding out how to destroy it he trusted gandolph so gandolph was like hey we need to go ahead and find out who knows about this ring. He ends up finding, oh sorry, I'm getting, getting ahead of myself. So after Erigorn meets Gandalf,

they establish a relationship and they're helping each other out. During Bilbo's 111th birthday, Gandalf comes into town because it's a big old fucking celebration. And he had started to have suspicions about Bilbo's ring because after he'd visited him

like five or six years prior, Bilbo hadn't aged. He wasn't wearing the ring. He was just like, you know, on its person and everything like that. He never put it on. But just being on his person in his possession, everything, anybody always had to keep it with him in his pocket.

He'd grown really attached to it. Just like... Just like everyone else that had it. And so after he saw that, Gandalf was like, fuck, I don't think there's many rings that do that. So he'd started to get some suspicions. And he convinced Bilbo,

because on his 111 birthday, he was leaving the Shire. He's like, I'm getting older. He's like, I don't know how much time. Despite looking like that, he fell old. Yeah. And so he was telling Gandalf, he had set up a plan to where he was going to leave all this shit to Frodo, who was his parents had previously died. And so he took him. He was like his uncle and he took him in.

And Frodo was kind of like him, kind of odd and like to go off by himself and explore and everything. So he was going to leave Frodo all his possessions. And Gandolf was like, well, that should include. the ring right and he's like what and he's like yeah all your he's like just it's possession yeah and he's like also he's like if it's so hard to part with it because he kind of had suspicions about it he's like no it's not hard to part with and finally like after like talking to him about it he didn't let him know what he thought it might be he just needed to get it away from him basically so he convinced him to leave it and as soon as he kind of stepped away he felt like a way had gotten

lifted and then bilbo hiked off by himself and went to rivendell because he'd been there back when he was a young man on his whole quest thing and he wanted to go back there and see the elves again. It's like Boca. It is kind of like Boca, I think, except no one gets old there. So he leaves the ring to Frodo and after talking to Frodo, making sure he's all squared away because Frodo just found out by surprise he's like fucking Bilbo's gone. He's like, oh yeah, Bilbo's gone.

Sorry, he leaves all of his shit. He's got everything. Yeah, and he's like, he even left you his ring. And he's like, why don't just put it like in an envelope and shove it in a box and just ignored and everything like that. He's like, just don't mention it to anybody. So Gandalf's like, um, by the way, I'll be back in a little bit. I got some shit to do. I'm going to go talk to some people. And he leaves for 17 fucking years. And while he's leaving for the 17 years, he gets back in touch with Aragorn. And he's like, Bilbo got the ring from Ghalm. We need to find out what Ghalman knows

about this ring and where he got it and everything. So him and Aragorn basically go across Middle Earth trying to hunt down leads of Gullum and everything. And finally, Gandalf, Erigorn's hunting him, Gandalf's like, I gotta try to find some additional information. He goes to Minnus Turath in Gondor. And like after fucking like years of research down in like this fucking library, finally finds this fucking scroll from a sealed door describing the ring. And it just talked to him about how like how the ring made him feel. And like it's painful for him, but he can't like let it go.

And then he was talking about the markings on the ring that would appear possibly if you heated the ring. The elvish. Yeah. And so Gandalf is like, fuck. So he gets back up. to the fucking shire and he throws the ring in the fire and everything and he pulls it out. He's like, what do you show, see Frodo and Fro's like, I don't see anything on it. He's like, oh, thank Christ. And then all of a sudden, Frodo's like, hold on a second and he starts to see the

fucking words appear. So at that point, Gandalf's like, all right, sit down. This is the one ring. So he, the timeframe here is just kind of crazy because he basically like on April 12th of that year, Gandalf tells Frode, he's like, you got to get the fuck out of here. on April 12th we're pretty specific it does see this is when history starts getting real specific man

when we're talking about the time frame of this of this quest so April 12th he's like Frodo he's like this is the fucking one ring

you gotta get the fuck out of here and you gotta like get somewhere safe and then we'll figure out what to do with it and so he doesn't end up leaving until September 23rd so like almost fucking

six months when he does end up leaving he leaves with Frodo's like 50 at this point too. Still a striking young man at 50 though. They look weirdly young at 50 apparently.

The other thing too is the people he took with him like Sam, Sam's like 20 years younger than him and so are like the other two guys Marion Pippen. They might be like 10 years or like five or 10 years. They're all good looking lads though. It's one thing you got to say with the hobbits are adorable. They are but it makes me think that maybe Frodo had a little pole.

These Hobbit kids, young Hobbit Impressible men are looking up to him and he's like you guys want to fucking. fucking gone at like an insanely dangerous mission. Well, you gotta talk the younger generation into doing it. I don't think it took much. The older generation's not gonna say yes. Yeah, it didn't take much.

So they go through, get out of the shire, they go through this place called the Old Forest. And this guy named, uh, they run into this weird guy named Tom Bombadil. And he's like this weird jolly. He reminds me of like, uh, fucking Marty Gras Santa Claus. Like he's just happy and singing all the time. And he sings songs with his name.

and he ends up rescuing him and out of some shit and then takes him back to his house and he can sense the ring and he's like can I see that and Frodo just kind of is like I guess and it like feels compelled to him and he grabs it and picks it up and he's looking at it and he flips it over and puts it on his finger and he doesn't disappear or anything like that and he looks at it on him

and then he takes back off and just hands it back to Frodo and he's like okay so like he it never and it never explains it never fucking explains who this this guy is but he also has these weird powers like he controls this valley in the forest where he has it perfectly manicured and he's married to like this weird fucking

like nature spirit sounds like a lot of he sounds like a fun hang yes so they end up getting out of the forest they meet up with this guy named strider who turns out to be aragorn sent by Gandalf to help him Gandalf at this point has gotten himself captured because he tried to go to Saramon and was

like hey remember when I was talking about the ring he's like I think we found it got an update and the Sarman's like you found the ring you say He's like, well, fancy that. He's like, I've been talking secretly to fucking Sauron, and I'm just going to fucking imprison you. So I'm prison him for two months.

Then he finally jumps off the top of the fucking tower lands on one of those giant eagles. Sauron is a very crafty man. He is. He's got to give him credit or spirit, I guess, at this point. Here's where it gets missed here. And I'm going to go ahead and do the even more Cliff Notes version of this. he doesn't suspect that they're going to go ahead and give it to somebody so small and like seemingly insignificant. Yeah, very unassuming that a hobbit would be the one carrying the ring.

Exactly. And Gandalf picked that strategically because he knew of their, you know, if you, the thing is, is like, so on their journey, Eragorn is able to resist the temptation of it. But the other guy that's with them, Boromir, he's from Gondor, it fucks with his mind. He's like a really good dude and he's honorable and everything like that. but at some point, you know, during their travels, they come to, you know, they end up going through Moria and everything because it's their only way through. They try to go over the mountains. They lose Gandalf there because the Balrog's there and they end up in accidentally waking it up and everything. That's a whole issue, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure that's, that's rough. Gandalf ends up like, he survives going down like the crevice. And he ends up like fighting the fucking ballrog and killing it because apparently, despite looking like you're 80 years old. he's a fucking stud. And then he dies from his wounds, gets resurrected as Gandalf

the white. Basically, the Valar were like, yeah, we see we kind of fucked up with Saramon. So we're going to make you the lead guy. So yeah, get back out there. Get back out there and do something. So they end up, they don't, of course, the fellowship,

you know, the people together with Frodo to take the ring. They don't know that Gandalf is alive again until later on. But they end up, sailing down this river to try to get to Mordor. And the reason they're sending in so few people is because if you sent any large number of people, especially with like the rumors out there, because the whole reason that Sauron is trying to look for the ring is because he knows the rumors that it's been found.

He's been sending his ring race out to find him. If you start sending a big number of troops straight toward Mordor. Questions will be asked. He's going to be like, I'm guessing they have the ring and all I got to do is kill. Make sure no one gets through to the mountain for them to throw it in the fire to destroy it. I need that back. Yeah, exactly. You're going to commit all your resources.

So that's why they try to sneak in like the fucking A team and why they pick such a small group to do it. But what I was saying is the ring ends up just being around it. The ring corrupts Boromir. He tries to take it from Frodo. Frodo escapes him. And him and Sam end up splitting off to go to Mordor and everything because he knows he can't trust pretty much anyone now in the group except his friend.

And as soon as that happens, Boromir snaps out of it. is like, what the fuck did I just do? And he ends up dying, like, defending Frodo's buddies, Mary and Pippen. They end up getting captured anyway. Some shit happens with the Rohan horse people where Sarmond tries to fucking kill all of them with a new orc super soldier.

And Aragorn goes in... So cool, man. Orcs are so fucking cool. He, like, crossbreeds him. And then turns him in. But basically what he does is he's like, he fucking does... It's eugenics again, man. he basically breeds the sunlight weakness out of the orcs when he creates

like the new super one so they can travel in sunlight too. But then he ends up sending almost all of them out to try to destroy Rohan and they go to their fortress it's called Helms Deep. And they basically more than half their soldiers got banished from the land because the king was under the mind control of Saramon.

I know I'm jumping around here but anyway. So all of like their cavalry isn't there They have all the women and children hiding in this fort And they hold these like 10,000 Super Ork soldiers off just long Yeah They hold them off just long enough For essentially Gandalf who went off to search for this

Like fucking horse cavalry Finds him, brings them back And then they charge into him and kill him So he loses all his like super He like all of you go And he ends up losing them all in like You committed way too many One fell swoop

But yeah Ghalm ends up finding Frodo and Sam Somehow convinces Frodo he's got to trust him and promises to serve him, to lead him to Mordor to destroy the ring that he doesn't want, you know, wants all to himself. Sam's back there, the fucking straight rational man being like, do you not see what's going on here? And Frodo's like, I feel bad for him, Sam. I too carry the ring and I know what it can do. And he's like, yeah, but like, he's going to kill us. He's, he's talking to himself, he's talking to himself in the goddamn reflection in the water

about how, how he's going to kill us. I've seen him doing it. Too trusting. Maybe that was the issue. Frodo was too trusting. Well, and, you know, things work out. Erigorn ends up surviving the battle with Rohan. He ends up going to Gondor and helping save the city after Sauron tries to attack and destroy it. It causes a distraction enough for Frodo and Sam to get into Mordor or Georgia. Can you imagine that, man?

Like, when you're thinking about that, they get in. It's not just like a friendly, like, jaunt to, like, the volcano. It's like, you get in there and it's like, hundreds of miles that you're still walking across this fucking you can see it but it's all you can and all you're wondering is if fucking some goblin's gonna jump up and be like surprise fucker and just like fucking shank you is there going to be some rogue orc that's wandering around here that's gonna catch us well and then they also know that too and so while like sam is basically like at this point sam has already saved froto because froto fucking kick sam to the curb and gollum of course

stabbed in the fucking back and he almost got eaten by that spider. Sam shows up and fucking saves him. When Frodo looks like he's dead, Sam takes the ring so it doesn't get taken. Then after he finds out, Frodo's not dead, follows him for two days carrying the ring, and then fucking storms a fucking fortress and kills the orcs that are left inside to save his ass. Frodo is the hero that history wants you to remember the most. Sam... I mean, Frodo carried it for like this. whole journey took like a year to like for them to get back so i think it took like nine months to get to mount

doom and do all that kind of stuff but and i understand froto carried it at that point but at the same time man sam hasn't had a lot of water and food no all that food got he gollum threw up all their or threw off all their lamnest bread or whatever it's called sam's hungry too there's no no not a single one he still carries froto's ass up the mountain to fucking destroy the ring. In the meantime, Aragorn gathers all the remaining men to charge on the black gate to fucking create a distraction so all the orcs have to empty out of the land.

So then Frodo and Sam have a straight shot. They get there. Frodo's standing there and turns around, looks at Sam with that mischievous glance and says, It's mine, Sam. I do not wish to destroy it, Samwise. And Sam is like, fuck, no, the fuck you're not. I'm not going to turn, or you're not going to turn the Gallum on me.

No. I'm not going to let that happen. Well, no. And at that point, too, he fucking puts on the ring. So, of course, fucking Sam can't see him. But who can detect him, fucking Gallum, who's been fucking snaking their asses up the mountain, jumps on Frodo, bites off the ring finger with the ring with it. And then he's sitting there dancing with the ring.

And he's happy about it. And Frodo's like, you just bit my fucking finger off, charges him, knocks him into the fucking lava. the ring gets destroyed that whole just the final scenes of the documentary just

it's like a microchasm of everything else it's just that the selfishness that you see all the way through the story before even before the rings or anything like that that whole crux just comes to that final destruction

yeah well most people are very familiar with the documentary film series yeah yeah that's the that's why it was easy to kind of gloss over because more people know about that. But yeah, I mean, you know, almost everybody wins. Yeah, there's a lot of dead people. But Aragorn gets the girl. He gets his elf girlfriend.

Her dad is like, yeah, of course. I know I didn't want you guys to get married, but all you had to do was defeat the Dark Lord and here you go. It was a similar situation. It was all yours. It was a Baron and Luton situation again is what it was. But, yeah, everyone ends up happy. what oh what ends up happening too that they don't really show some of the stuff is so froto ends up

getting to go with bilbo on one of the last ships to vallanore because he was a ring bear they're making a special exception for him so bilbo gets to go and once he gets there i don't know if once he gets there he doesn't die or he just i'm not sure how that works i'd like think he doesn't no but he's old as fuck when he gets to go there so you'd hope it maybe like reverse age it a little bit. A little Benjamin button. Yeah, but Gandalf is heading back there too and some of the elves are heading back and they're like, peace out, men are going to take over.

We're hightailing it back to our paradise world. They're just going to handle what's going on. And then Sam gets back to the Shire, gets the girl he's been wanting for the longest time. They have like eight kids. He gets elected mayor of the Shire. It's a good position for saying. Or Mayor of Hobbiton.

Wait, he might end up, no, he gets, yeah. Hobbiton is the city. The shire is like, imagine the shire being like the state. And then you have like Hobbiton in like different areas. He's like the mayor.

He's the mayor of Hobbiton. And then one of the other dudes that went on it like Pippin or Mary ends up becoming what's called the Thane. And that's like the governor over the entire shire. Like these guys come back and are just set for fucking life.

They save the world. Well, what they end up having to do actually that is not in the documentary. It got altered in the documentary is Saramon, he ends up escaping and going to the shire and fucking like scorching the whole shire. And after Frodo, Sam, Mary, and Pippen get back,

they have to defeat Saramon. And they end up beating him. And then they end up regrowing the shire and all that kind of stuff from repairing it. But yeah, Sam is fucking pretty set as well as all those other guys. He deserves it. Then Aragorn and Arwen, his wife, they have another son.

think he ends up, Erdogan, of course, ends up dying. I'm not sure what happens to Arwin if she ends up heightling it there, she... I think she might have actually become mortal. She might have actually given up like that Luthian. Chick did. She might have been able to give that up. But then that kid's line ends up succeeding

and, like, repairing everything and bringing all the people together. And, yeah, I think that's pretty much how everything ends. I'm just glad that we don't gloss over this part of history. This is a big part of history in our world. It is. Is it weird that some history is almost more, I'm not going to say believable, but like more enriched than actual history?

Yeah. It's a, I don't know, I guess it, the victor tells the story. And this time it seems like it was a good outcome in history. many other times, usually the victors aren't the best people. I'm very curious how technology did not develop at any time during this. I understand that's not the

point. But like once you hit even a little bit of like technology or advancement, it tends to like accelerate it and it kind of like accelerates faster than the line. I mean they had bows and arrows. They had like tributes like the catapults and everything. They obviously had some magic written words

ability to make armor. I mean they're medieval. Yeah. And everything. I'm just wondering at why they stayed, especially with the elves. Like, maybe the elves were just like not about that. Maybe it was more like nature shit and building stuff with your hands with like metals and stuff. Yeah, more of the less man destruction man killer. Hobbits probably could have advanced really quick had it not been for pipe weed. They advanced where they needed to advance.

They got to exactly where they needed. They were just now trying to invent different strains of pipeweed and different ways to smoke it. technology doesn't always equal happiness. That's true. Advancement does not guarantee happiness. All right, man. How does it feel knowing that I just kept you hostage talking about this shit for three and a half hours?

It's so informative. It's just a world that I don't know. I didn't know existed. What's going to be your reaction? Just if this one happens to get the most fucking views, or most listens, just because it's such like a relevant topic. I don't.

You're going to have to start learn about a lot of fictional histories. This isn't, no, just histories. This isn't fictional. This is as fictional as the Bible. Yeah. It's so,

there's so many, it's without like even me explaining it where all the parallels are. Yeah. It's a, you can see so much of, and even events that happen later on in history. Do you think you read the Bible and was like, there's not enough fucking

fire demons in war in this? You guys didn't put dragons in these? There's clearly not enough fucking... Yeah, there's clearly not enough giant fortresses and battles in this. And what? You got one species? It's just men? Yeah. Oh, great. You made a woman? Oh,

two. You took a rib and you made a woman. Yeah. That's cool. Guess what? You guys mentioned Leviathan one time. I'm creating dragons that can fly and that can't fly. He's like, oh, you put two of each animal on a fucking boat. I'm going to send an island to take an entire race of people to a magical land. Oh, all right.

Well, everyone, ladies and gentlemen, and you fucking saucy sluts and scallywags and everyone out there listening to this, thank you for joining Adam on this journey, whether you wanted to or not. It was a good one. I'm glad we did it. You're glad it's over. No, I'm glad that I got to hear it. wait till we do Star Wars. Oh, I'm sure it's going to be just as good.

All right. Well, thanks for listening again, guys. Have a good night. Please. All right, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for joining us for another episode. If you like what you heard, hit that subscribe and like button. Follow us. If you didn't like what you heard, still hit that anyway, because we'll probably cover something in the future that you do like.

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