History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Will Habeas Corpus Protect You? | History Hyenas

Starting point is 00:00:00 Patreon.com slash history hyenas see all our dates up there as well at history hyenas is back.com Enjoy this episode right now about habeas corpus. You're gonna learn some things buckle up What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I am Christa Stefano, aka Chrissy Haircuts with me as always, Janis Papas, aka Yanni Flathair. Yanni Flathair, and they're not sure whether this is another episode or not because you're still wearing that queen shirt. Did I wear it last week? You've worn it, I think, for three or four episodes.

Starting point is 00:01:06 It's just what it is. That is, are you sleeping in your car again? It's just what it is. I've lost the family. Because that queen shirt is like your uniform at this point. It gets a lot of reps. Yeah, that's a queen shirt, and I like it, and I like it a lot because you're from Queens.

Starting point is 00:01:23 I'm a Queens kid. Now here's the thing, we wanted to talk about today, and here's the other thing too, Donald Trump is a Queens kid. He's a Queens kid, he's from Queens. He's from Jamaica Estates, Queens. And so we wanted to talk about today, today's episode, because you've probably heard

Starting point is 00:01:40 about this a lot with the- The market's up! The market's way up! We're doing good. We're doing good. And so what you've heard about probably a lot with the, the market's way up. We're doing good. We're doing good. And so what you've heard about probably a lot in the news is a little thing called habeas corpus. And you said, what the hell is that?

Starting point is 00:01:52 Well, we're here, we're gonna tell you the hyenas are gonna explain what habeas corpus means and how Donald Trump may be well within his rights to remove migrants. And we always love doing episodes where we can suggest some birth baby names to African American families. That's what we like.

Starting point is 00:02:11 My new son, habeas. That's right. Or my daughter, corpus. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. And that's where we bring everyone together. And this was habeas, corpus was actually Janice's suggestion. I had suggested I want to, because I've been watching a Netflix documentary

Starting point is 00:02:25 about the blitz of the Battle of Britain, the London blitz. Okay, because yeah, I mean, you just want to get an episode in whenever and whichever way you can to get the Germans in there. That's just what it is, because we haven't done anything World War II in a while, and my German is just starting to get a little out of control.

Starting point is 00:02:41 Yeah, we got to, maybe we'll do Berlin pre-Nazis. Okay. Because that was a fun time in Berlin. It was really wild and the trans were really, that's where trans stuff started. We had a Romanian kid on, Dragos. He has episodes on the Patreon. He talked to us a lot about Berlin before the Nazis. It's a very interesting episode, only available at patreon.com slash history hyenas Where the community the history hyenas community exists for only five bones and up you get as you pay more you get more Things more tiers, but patreon.com slash history ain't is we actually have a little promo code a little discount going on right now If you are a free member

Starting point is 00:03:21 You can now get a wild discount of 30% if you want to join one of the pay tiers. So you can go do that. And we did speak to Patreon and unfortunately we were told that if you join up, make a name, and then cancel to try again, unfortunately you could get flagged for fraud and not be able to join again with that email address. So we want to say join one time, give it a shot, you know, give us your best name, try to make us laugh, and then, you know, stick around. You know what it is? Here's the thing too. If you make, because if you're new here to the

Starting point is 00:03:57 show, at the end of every episode, we have the Patreon members, we read the newest members of, we call it the matriarchy, and we ask them to make a funny name and we will pick the funniest name that makes us laugh and we'll make that person the winner for that week. Now, if you feel that your name was funny and you didn't get a good laugh from us or we missed it, what you could do is on the community board at patreon.com slash history ianis or on our chat, on our history ianis chat that we have, tell us what your original name was and then say, I want wanna change it to this. And Jesse, me, Jesse and Giannis will look through it

Starting point is 00:04:29 every week and we'll see if there's any real funny ones, we'll shout them out here on the show. That's how we'll do it. That's how we do it. And that's how we do it. So when you join, join, don't cancel and join again, because you might get flagged for being a scam by Patreon. It's just what it is.

Starting point is 00:04:44 And when you join and you give us a name, and a lot of people just join with their regular names, which is great, you're straight by the Patreon, it's just what it is. And when you join and you give us a name, and a lot of people just join with their regular names, which is great, you're straight to the back, you're here for the content, just like a guy who's going into the video store back in the day, wants to go straight to the back, straight to the porn booth. But what you're basically doing when you join our Patreon

Starting point is 00:04:59 is you are presenting yourself. You're presenting the body. Presenting the body, which is habeas corpus, translate in Latin to what? Yeah. Show us the body. Show us the body. That's what it means. I want to see your tits. I want to see the car. I want to see your whole body. Show me your body. Show me your feet. Yeah, Yanis likes feet. It's just what it is.

Starting point is 00:05:21 I want to present I'm your judge and I want you to show me your body. If you're a hottie with, if you're a female that goes to Yanni's shows, bring an extra pair of socks, because he's going to take a peek. And he has, you know how people have those Ray-Ban glasses now that we're recording everything? Yanni's glasses can see through your shoes, and he can take a look at your toes.

Starting point is 00:05:36 I'm Yanni Zoomfingers. I make it. Yeah, if your feet's around, I'm going to do like that. I'm going to make the image bigger, and I'm going to take a screenshot. It's what it is, because just know that Yanni's phone is full of screenshots of any Instagram picture you've ever posted of your feet.

Starting point is 00:05:51 I'll take your feet and I'll plug them in my mouth like a pacifier and I'll go, nyan, nyan, nyan, nyan. It's what it is, because if you post a bikini pic, don't worry about your tits and ass, it's your feet you gotta worry about. That's what he's gonna screenshot them big. Because bring the body in front of a judge. It's a check on monarchies. It's a

Starting point is 00:06:11 check on the power of the state. It's a staple of democracy. It's called habeas corpus. It is Latin for bring the body to me. Because I have high cholesterol issues and the other day you saw me get a slice of pizza from Joe's Pizza and I took the cheese off and I threw it on the floor and you called the police and you tried to have me arrested but because of habeas corpus I did not commit a crime you can't just throw me in prison even though you wanted to. No yeah I tried to throw you in prison they say hey did he commit a crime we got to bring him in front of a judge and see if there was an actual crime committed you can't just detain

Starting point is 00:06:39 him without habeas corpus and I said but you don't understand he's got 300 cholesterol he's not a baseball player he should not have 300 in his name He's not a good singles hitter. The kid just eats too many fucking pizzas It's just what it is cuz and now so what I was your cholesterol is I looked it up Yeah, because I care about you Yeah, so I looked it up on chat JBT and I asked the question is 300 cholesterol dangerously high and it said is. And it said, yes, it's dangerously high. It's up there, cuz I'm in the big league. So what I've done now is I'm still in pizza,

Starting point is 00:07:10 but I've just thrown sushi on top of the pizza. But have you actually checked the numbers when you were on the beam? Maybe when you got the numbers checked, you were off the beam that day and you got off the beam numbers. I was off the beam numbers. So I'm actually getting back on the beam. I'm doing a little thing called a cardiac scan on Thursday.

Starting point is 00:07:28 So we actually have a fun cute little day planned for Thursday. You ready for our day? Yeah. So what we're going to do is you're going to come up to me. I have it 8 30 in the morning. I love when you make plans with me and then you tell me afterwards, which is what he did this morning, Jess. He calls he calls me up and he goes, he goes, do you have any plans Thursday? I? I go no he goes good because I booked a little walking tour for us already Yeah for Mother's Day because we are members of the matriarchy I given Yanni a late Mother's Day gift and we're gonna do a little Dutch colonial New York history walking tour with the Bowery boys Ooh Yeah, you know it's gonna be fun

Starting point is 00:07:58 So you'll see a patreon episode and hopefully YouTube episode about all the Dutch colonial history of New York the following week But the first thing I'm gonna do do is you're going to meet me up at Mount Sinai at 8.30 in the morning and we're going to get a little barium shot into the arm and we're going to do a little thing called a clear scan called a soft plaque scan that Dr. Peter Atiyah suggested, a longevity expert, where they just take a little peek at people with sky-high cholesterol like me, take a little peek at the soft plaque moving through your arteries, and then if they see some of that,

Starting point is 00:08:27 they help you clean it out. Yeah, you gotta get cracked open and cleaned out. So what is my cholesterol is TTR through the roof, but I have been taking berberine every day, I've been taking red yeast every day, I've been taking fish oil pills every day, I've been trying to eat more fish, I've been trying to be more Japanese,

Starting point is 00:08:42 I've been shitting on the floor, and I've just been trying to get that cholesterol down. So here's what I know, and I know this for sure, is number one, I am eating olives to be more like the olive tree. It's what I am doing. I'm trying to get longevity with the olive tree. I am not being the onion plant where I will be dead in nine weeks. So I'm doing garlic and olives.

Starting point is 00:09:00 Because that's longevity because in just, I'm going to turn this puppy around in six months, I'm going to be like a vampire with all the garlic. Yeah, and that's why habeas corpus is so important to democracies, because they want to ensure that we have a just system that lasts long. They want to make sure that our American experiment becomes the olive tree and not the olive. The onion tree. The onion tree. And a lot of you people are saying that the onion isn't a tree, it's a plant, and I want to say you're a f***. Yeah, I want to say you're... bleep that puppy

Starting point is 00:09:30 out. Because I want to say you are an onion though, because you got layers. I do got layers and I do cry a lot. Yeah. But don't worry, we're going to turn it around because all you can do, all you can do, you listen to me and you listen to me right now, baby gorgeous, is you do, you have to understand it this way, okay? Here it is, this is Chris at Confucius coming at you. You have to understand it this way. There is no getting out of this planet alive. So, are you going to a prisoner planet scenario again?

Starting point is 00:09:59 They're feeding off, they're feeding off your negative emotions. No, there is no getting off this alive. So you might as well laugh at anything the world throws you. You might as well treat everyone kind and everyone respectfully and just laugh at whatever the world. You do not get any points at all for being stressed out, for worrying about everything, for being angry.

Starting point is 00:10:18 If that would lead to immortality, I could understand why we're doing it, but that doesn't. You're dying one way or another another whether you're happy or sad So you might as well be happy because it's just a much fun much more fun life And it's a much more peaceful life you'd be like the olive tree is happy and long the onion tree is Short and tangy and makes you cry and that's not what you want. So there aren't remember this There are no you do not get any points. You do not get immortality for being a dick Yeah, so if you are illegally detained in El Salvador are no, you do not get any points. You do not get immortality for being a dick.

Starting point is 00:10:45 Yeah, so if you are illegally detained in El Salvador, we want you to just relax, box breathe. Laugh it off. Think about it. If you're saying, hey, where's my hippie, a scorpis? We say, hey, listen, you're a potential gang member. It's just what it is. How do we know you're a potential gang member? You got some tattoos in your hand. One of them is a marijuana tree. The other one is a one of three your MS-13 It's just what okay. Look if you're wearing a Chicago baseball hat your MS-13

Starting point is 00:11:10 Yeah, okay. Look if you came over from this country and you cross the border your MS-13 Yeah, so just go with the flow laugh about it be the olive tree. Have a sense of humor Yeah, you're not getting off this planet any way alive. None of us are so have a sense humor about it And look, this isn't your country. It's what it is because I mean if Donald Trump really wants to clean up this country, just go to a fucking LA Dodgers home game. Laugh 14. Just kidding, we're joking.

Starting point is 00:11:37 We're joking. We got a lot of- But that's what the controversy- We're just kidding around. Yeah, the controversy has been coming up now, habeas corpus, because a lot of people are getting catapulted over the wall. Catapulted over the wall. There's a catapult out and they're getting, they're not going on the list. They're getting flung over the wall. And it's not cute and it's not cute and we are and you know we are comedians first, we always make jokes. We're not a Palestinian comedian, so we just make jokes first. We don't get serious, but it's just what it is.

Starting point is 00:12:02 So here's the thing, where did it all start? Where did the, where was the seeds of habeas corpus born? Because the world wasn't always this way. And we got to go all the way back to the 1200s, a little thing called the Magna Carta. Oh yeah. You know what the Magna Carta is? Because the Magna- The Magna Vince Carta. The Magna Vince Carta is the cornerstone-

Starting point is 00:12:20 Yes. For a just civilization. That's what was the first document, the first document of freedom. Magna Carta actually translates to the Great Charter and it was a legal document signed by King John of England on June 15th, 1215. And what happened was is a lot of basically it's like what anything else? The rich people were called the barons at the time. They started losing their money because you know who King John of England was? You ever heard of Richard the Richard the Lionheart?

Starting point is 00:12:46 Yeah, so Richard Lionheart real tough guy a guy everybody loved Richard Lionheart Then he dies and King John of England takes over and King John of England is just kind of a pussy Yeah, they used to call him. I think it was called them something weak heart or they just call King John the soft sword Yeah, they call him King John the soft sword because kid could not not get hard that's why he needed a blue chew. You use promo code history ain't it? Get yourself a little blue chew. It's sponsored by blue chew. But the kid had a soft sword so King John of England, so they said, the baron said, listen to me, you're being a bitch, okay? We're financing all these wars for you. No money. We're not getting any money back. You're spending the money. So he had all this dissatisfaction from the wealthy elites,

Starting point is 00:13:26 which is what happens to people, the wealthy people, the 1%, the Illuminati of the time, they put pressure on the guy, and they had this heavy taxation to fund these unsuccessful wars. So what they said was, listen, we're gonna take London, the rich people, we're gonna make our own army and take London unless John starts to negotiate with us. So what he said was, what they wanted was, they said, the 1215

Starting point is 00:13:50 Magna Carta that King John of England signed said, no free man shall be seized or imprisoned except by the lawful judgment of his equals or by the law of the land. Because what used to happen back then was, you know, you piss King John off or whatever the King would just arrest a rich guy yeah for no reason just take him shut your mouth so they started to get so strong the rich people they said you can't do that anymore yeah no more arbitrary imprisonment just because you say so yeah it's not happening bud and by the way the you know it the Magna Carta is very similar to the Declaration of Independence very similar to most documents of Independence, very similar

Starting point is 00:14:25 to most documents where when they say all people are free and equal, they don't mean all, they just mean rich white property owners. But that was just more because that was what was around at that time. It's just what it is. Yeah. And they hadn't had any other people around yet because they hadn't enslaved them yet. It's what it is. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:42 So the only people that were enslaved back then were women. Yeah. Yeah, they just, those were the slaves back then. Yeah. But that was more of what I call a natural order. It's what it is. So slow on the button. So 1215 Magna Carta. Now this thing, just because here's the thing, just because you say something, doesn't mean that it's actually going to happen. Like we have, there's the, when we did the episode, um, I think it was last week or the week before,

Starting point is 00:15:06 where there's a governing body of NATO. No, not of NATO. Well, remember there was a governing body that said, if you invade a country and you go outside the parameters of, I don't know what you're talking about. Now I don't know what you're talking about. We talked about, was this a private conversation? No, it was a couple episodes ago. And what you're talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about. We talked about, was this a private conversation, public conversation?

Starting point is 00:15:26 It was a couple episodes ago. And what were we talking about? We were talking about war. We were a couple guys talking about war at the time. What was the episode we did before the stock market? I don't remember. We were both two dogs. We're just off the beat.

Starting point is 00:15:40 Off the beat, we're in the moment. I don't remember what you referred to, but I want to get to the bottom of it. Now you got my curiosity beaked. It was something because it was basically saying- Did the stock market? There was a governing body. There was a governing body that basically,

Starting point is 00:15:54 what episode was it? What was the governing body doing? They were, it was something like they, it was a court, it was an international court. The heck? Was it the international, was it the IMF, the International Monetary Fund? Was it something like that? That's very possible.

Starting point is 00:16:09 Where they basically said... They have loans? Yeah, if you basically like, oh, Russia's going to sue the United States, and then Russia wins in court, but the United States can say, okay, you won a court, but I'm still not going to pay you, stupid. I don't think we did anything like that, but yeah. It's just what it is. Yeah, but what do you refer?

Starting point is 00:16:28 So what I want to say is the Magna Carta said that, you know, everybody's created equal. Basically Magna Carta said, hey, the escorpus, no free man shall be seized or imprisoned except by the lawful judgment of his equals or by the law of the land. But nobody really enforced it. Right.

Starting point is 00:16:43 So they would say, hey, we have this Magna Carta, but the Kings would say, yeah, but basically you're just going to go to jail and I'm going to behead you because I said so. Yeah. The funny thing is, is he created this because he was under pressure from the barons. Right. So he was trying to just toss them a bone to get them off their back.

Starting point is 00:16:54 Just get them something. Yeah. He's going, hey, this is what we'll do, okay? Just leave me alone. We won't really do it, but we'll do it. But it did set the foundation for habeas corpus. You just copped to one. You copped to one crime.

Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah. Yeah, I did that one, but leave me alone. Yeah. So basically what it does though, the Magna Carta, it does become the foundation for habeas corpus and the modern due process we have right now today in this country, in this beautiful land of ours, in this great nation of 50 states that we have

Starting point is 00:17:18 that you are actually absolutely privileged to live in. What, do you want to go live in Romania? Go. Yeah. You're just gonna, you're gonna be, you're gonna have to start a webcam business if you do. It to go live in Romania? Go. Yeah. You're just gonna, you're gonna be, you're gonna have to start a webcam business if you do. That's what it is. Start shaking that ass.

Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah. So this became, the Magna Carta became, you know, the foundation for what eventually goes on to become. It was basically the first document that gave a little power to the people and curtailed the power of elites. Now here's what it is. So here's what it is. Here's how the law worked back then. So we got Magna Carta and then the Pope had a lot of pull back then, okay? But now I think

Starting point is 00:17:54 because the Pope's a Chicago kid now, Pope Leo, we might start getting the Chicago mafia back involved and that's a good thing. That could be a good thing because it makes the neighborhood safe. Yeah, it's just what it is. It just makes the neighborhood safe. Yeah, it's just what it is. It just makes the neighborhood safe. Yeah, I can't wait to some of these young boys in the Catholic church now are gonna get a Portillo hot dog down the road. Now somebody did an AI video with the Pope.

Starting point is 00:18:14 Somebody did an AI video with the Pope, which was really funny where it was the Pope arguing in his voice about why George the goat and LeBron is a bitch. And it was very funny. The Chicago Act. Yeah, it was very funny. Yeah. So basically, we have the Magna Carta. Everyone thinks, okay, we got this new law. We're all safe. They can't throw us in prison. But then the Pope at the time, Pope Innocent III, which is a fun name for a Pope because those kids were never really innocent.

Starting point is 00:18:36 Nope. Pope Innocent III, just weeks after King John put forward the Magna Carta. That's like calling P. Diddy, conscious sex. Yeah. Or sex with your will. Yeah. Yeah. They basically, Pope Innocent III annulled this.

Starting point is 00:18:51 He annulled the Magna Carta. He basically said, yeah, I know that they just said that, but we're not doing it. Yeah, because I have a little authority from someone called God, and we don't like to follow rules. What it is. So that led to something called the First Barons War. Now, when you think of barons, that's just a rich kid. That's what a baron was back then. That's a translation. They were just the wealthy. What happened to Baron Vaughan? Baron Vaughan's

Starting point is 00:19:12 still out there. He's still out there. Yeah, Baron Vaughan's a good kid. Very funny comic. King John, who we mentioned, who wrote the Magna Carta, died a couple years later, 1216, and then his son, Henry III, reissued the Magna Carta to restore peace and eventually became part of English law. Now what's the long term long-term significance? It was a failed peace treaty initially but the Magna Carta got reissued, got revised multiple times and over centuries it came to symbolize the principle that the king is subject to the law not above it. So in many ways this is the beginning of the end for the monarchy. The monarchy kind of ends three, 400 years later,

Starting point is 00:19:48 1700, 1800, but this is like the Rico Act for the mob. They're basically saying, not for long, not for long now, because now you're not above the law either. Yeah, people started getting a little fed up with the king, always just issuing edicts and doing whatever he wanted. And so this was the beginning. The Magna Carta was the beginning of the rule of law over all men. Yeah, it's what it is over everyone. And it's actually a good thing. Nobody's above the law. Nobody's above the law. And here's the thing. Here's what you

Starting point is 00:20:20 got to understand. Here's what you got to understand is the United States and you're going to do that like a black girl after school. And that's what Puerto Rico, here's what you got to understand, is the United States and you're gonna do that like a black girl after school and that's what I'm saying Puerto Rican I will meet you after school. That's what it is yeah. Take your emissive we're going to settle this one way or another. Because that's what happens when people's when a cop comes up so they say you ain't got a warrant what they're really saying is habeas corpus motherfucker Magna Carta. It's saying Magna Carta. I'm filming you, officer. Now there is 1,000, 1,000% a child named Magna Carta

Starting point is 00:20:52 who's alive right now, who might be living in the city of Chicago. Yeah, that's what we're saying. Like we do it all these episodes and we're giving black families great ideas on what to name their kids. It's Magna Carta, habeas or corpus. It's a nice one. It's a nice one.

Starting point is 00:21:05 It's a nice one. Or innocent. Or innocent. Yeah. I knew a kid growing up named Science. So I knew a kid Scientific Map and Majestic Map. They were brothers. And they were very good basketball players.

Starting point is 00:21:15 People need to get a little bit more creative with the names. Now, so you can actually, what's cute about this, which I didn't know, there are actually four surviving copies of the original Magna Carta. They are housed in the British Library, got two copies, the Lincoln Cathedral and the Salisbury Cathedral. But I think the Lincoln Cathedral, that might be in the US. Should we go on a little field trip to the Lincoln Cathedral?

Starting point is 00:21:32 Is that in the US? Do we have a copy? I don't know, Cuts. Oh, wow. But it could possibly be there. And I really was, because at first when I started learning about this and you suggested it, I was like, hmm, maybe not so cute. But then when I started learning about this and you suggested it I was like hmm maybe not so cute but then when I started to really research it I was like oh no Yanni picked

Starting point is 00:21:49 a cute one. Oh this is the foundation of why we're able to do this podcast the foundation why you're able to say certain words but sometimes we put cackles over it but we're only putting cackles over it because we want to stay monetized but we are free to say those words and nobody can put us in prison because we got a little thing called freedom of speech. We got a little thing called habeas corpus. We got a little thing called rule of law. And did I break the law? No, no, no. I get it. Now, would the world be a little bit more fun if there was no habeas corpus? Because you just kind of do whatever you want and say whatever you

Starting point is 00:22:19 want and not, and just there'd be no repercussions. Maybe. But that's why we have patreon.com slash history. I know that's a habeas corpus-less world. Where we're just doing anything we want, saying anything we want, and it's fun, fun, fun, and that's why you pay money. And there's no habeas corpus there because we rule over there. Because there are no bodies over there.

Starting point is 00:22:34 We are the law over there. Yeah, because there are no bodies over there. I'll just give you a great example right now of how we live under rule of law, habeas corpus, right? And you can't arbitrarily put me in prison okay what are you doing yeah okay here we go the Pope is we're gonna be right back after this break with more and habeas corpus I won't be in prison after this episode that's a great thing babe look at this thing it's

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Starting point is 00:25:21 Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. I said this part already. Monitors your spending, you said it? Yeah, I opened it up with that. You wanna start over? No, keep going. Okay. Yeah, Rocket Money tries to negotiate lower bills for you.

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Starting point is 00:26:01 gives you an alert. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 shmilyan and cancels subscriptions saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps premium features. Yes, so cancel your unwanted subscriptions, reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash hyenas. H-Y-E-N-A-S today. That's rocketmoney.com slash hyenas rocketmoney.com slash hyenas. Okay, and we're back. So yeah. See, that's just like that's what it is. But you know, back in the day, if I said that sentence, and the king heard it, or the pope heard it, they just throw me in jail, feed me to lions, whatever, you know, do things with my corn hole. They can do whatever they

Starting point is 00:26:45 want, but you can't do that anymore. Now cuz, here's the thing, here's why I'm sneaking, here's why, as I've told you, as I've told you, as you've coined, I have been studying the Jew. I have been studying our Jewish brothers and sisters. You have a PhD in the Jew. I've been studying our Jewish brothers and sisters, and I found, because the thing is, what they are very good at that, and that's what I love about them,

Starting point is 00:27:06 they will find a way, they persevere, they keep going, and they just cannot be stopped, and I appreciate that about them. So you told me when we started this episode, you said- And they can travel without a passport. Yeah, in your shoes. In your shoes.

Starting point is 00:27:18 So that's the real reason why a lot of people think you have to take your shoes off if you're not TSA pre-checked, because you can shoe bottle, but it's really because TSA is just looking for shoes. It's just what it is. So here's the thing is, here's the thing, is you thought that there was going to be no way that I could somehow shoehorn in Nazis into this episode. But I found a way. How did you do it? I found a way because we talked about habeas corpus, we talked about show me the

Starting point is 00:27:44 body, we talked about due process. Yeah, present the body in front of a judge. Present the body in front of the law, and I found a little thing called the Nazi saboteurs on American soil trial. Ooh. So what happened was, did you know, cuz, did you know that in the summer,

Starting point is 00:27:57 in the summer of 1942, when our grandparents were just, when your dad was just in a full onesie bathing suit, and your mom was just in a full onesie bathing suit and your mom was just in a full onesie bathing suit. Yeah, right? Because how old was your mom and pops in 1942? I think they were about 56. Yeah, they were this, yeah. So my pops wasn't even born yet,

Starting point is 00:28:13 but in the summer of 1942, right in the middle of World War II, eight Nazi agents, legitimate Nazis, some born in Germany, some German Americans, actually landed in the US, the U-boat submarines, the German submarines, they landed in Amangas in Long Island, which is where the Hampton's is, right? Amangas in Long Island,

Starting point is 00:28:31 and then another four landed in Florida. And they had explosives, fake IDs, stacks of American cash, and they were ready to blow up bridges, railroads, and factories, okay? They were acting like muzzies. Yeah, because this is the thing, we're doing an episode about individual rights,

Starting point is 00:28:44 the birth of individual rights, the birth of the rule of law, the birth of habeas corpus. There is, if Nazi show up, there will be a way to find evidence that they tried to violate those things. It's just what it is. Yeah. Now, here's the thing.

Starting point is 00:29:02 These guys got all the way to the United States on U-boat. They were able to evade the mighty US Navy and all that, but they did suck at being spies. One of them's name was George Dosh. You can follow him right now at tanksinatra on Instagram. He immediately has a moral panic, and he snitches to the FBI. The kid just goes up to the FBI and says,

Starting point is 00:29:21 I am a Nazi, which is crazy. That's a rare German with anxiety. Right. So the FBI nabs all eight of them within two weeks, because George just tells them where they all are. The public does not hear about it. FDR is like, I don't want this out there. The fact that Nazis were able to get too close to the shore,

Starting point is 00:29:38 that's scary. And you know how they made them flip? Because you go, and how did this happen? How did a Nazi just so quickly say I'm a Nazi? Cause usually they're very, you know, they're very stern, they're very in control and you know, they don't have anxiety, right? Cause they're all psychopaths and Germans

Starting point is 00:29:53 were born without souls. Yes. You're going, how did they do that? Well, they used to do a little thing. This is a truth bet against Berg, where if they wanted to see if there was, if this person was actually a Nazi spy back then, what they would do is they would get a Jew.

Starting point is 00:30:04 They'd set a, they'd go in a room right and they'd set a Jew loose okay okay and they would tie the Nazi up right and if the Nazi could get himself loose and chase the Jew then they knew that it was a Nazi because a Nazi cannot resist chasing the Jew right that's what happens that's why they there was a lot of teams that were able to beat the German football teams soccer teams because what they would do is they would That's what happens. That's why there was a lot of teams that were able to beat the German football teams, soccer teams, because what they would do is they would have Jews on their teams. So one time there was actually a German goalkeeper and the Jew was running around and he ran out of the goal to chase the

Starting point is 00:30:36 Jew and he left the goal untended. So that's how you can always find a Nazi. He will always leave his post and chase the Jew. And that's what it is. And that's how they caught this guy. Right. It's just what it is. Yeah, that's what Schmidty told me at the firehouse. So what happens there is FDR says, look, let's keep this quiet. Or as I like to call them, Hot Wheels. Yeah, Hot Wheels is good.

Starting point is 00:31:00 Hot Wheels is a fun one. That's the 10. Yeah. Hot Wheels. So what he says is, look, let's have that, we got to put these kids through court. They want to have a secret military tribunal, not a civilian court. Because civilian court, public has to know, blah, blah, blah. Military trials even still to this day, they kind of lie right outside habeas corpus, a little bit, kind of. It gets complicated.

Starting point is 00:31:22 But if you go, if you're in the military and you go to military court, it's, you don't love that. Right. Because they could, military could kind of just say it, because if at any point the military feels like the way around habeas corpus is, and we're going to get to this with Guantanamo Bay and what Trump is doing now, is if they say that you're a threat to the nation and you're doing something, spying. If you're, you know, an enemy soldier, they go around habeas corpus and they say, no, we could do what we want with you. So this case, FDR saying, hey, they're Nazis. They don't give F habeas corpus, they don't deserve it.

Starting point is 00:32:00 But the lawyers, the saboteurs, isn't this interesting? The Nazi saboteurs lawyers, Jewish guys, represented by Jews, that's how great Jewish people are. They represented Nazis because they believed in the laws of the country, and they filed the habeas corpus petition that they're civilians, they deserve a public trial. The case actually goes to the Supreme Court. It's called ex parte querun. I keep seeing ex parte. What is ex parte? Do we know? No. We'd have to look that up Sounds like lab ex parte queering, uh, Jesse because it's it's it's part of this you could put it in a

Starting point is 00:32:32 Yeah, see it see it down there ex parte queering right there. Yeah. Yeah expert the query and while you do that I'll let you know governments can suspend habeas corpus only in extreme Circum situations or circumstances like war national emergency, rebellion or insurrection. Lincoln suspended it during the American Civil War. And then post 9-11, Guantanamo Bay detained many people and it became the center of habeas corpus legal battles because a lot of people were detained without trial because they were said,

Starting point is 00:33:03 oh, these are threats to national security. So Lincoln is actually very interesting. And after we get to this, we'll talk about Lincoln. Lincoln is very interesting because he was the only president in history that Congress basically told him, habeas corpus, you cannot, Confederate sympathizers, you can't imprison them against their will. And Lincoln, as the president said, I'm doing it anyway.

Starting point is 00:33:23 Right. Only president ever in history to do that to go against his own Congress and basically they backed down because at the moat at that time the Union Army was much bigger. Right. So what is ex parte queering it? I think ex parte is just must be Latin for something. I think every Supreme Court case is called ex parte but anyway 1942 landmark case US Supreme Court that tested the limits of habeas corpus. So as we said, the eight German saboteurs, part of what was called Operation Oskar Pistorius,

Starting point is 00:33:52 was a Nazi mission to sabotage American war infrastructure. FDR ordered them to be tried by the military tribunal, not civilian courts. One of the saboteurs, Herbert Hans Hoppt, was a US citizen. So the lawyers filed for a writ of habeas corpus challenging the legality of trying them in a military court. What happened? The Supreme Court unanimously upheld the use of a military tribunal ruling that the saboteurs were unlawful enemy combatants, not entitled to a civilian trial. habeas corpus was available, but in this case, the military trial was legal under the Articles of War and the ruling made a distinction between lawful and unlawful combatants.

Starting point is 00:34:34 And basically, end of the day, they hung six of them and the two that, you know, the one guy definitely George that ratted everyone out, him and his other partner, they got spared and they just, I think got life in prison Or like 40 years. Yeah Well, the problem was was it was a franks and beans operation by the Nazis because if you're gonna drop off a couple of kids By U-boat you don't want to send them to Florida and the Hamptons No, cuz they're gonna get distracted from their mission. That's what those are two cute spots Yeah, that are gonna really seduce enemy combatants to be more American.

Starting point is 00:35:06 You're gonna go to a white party, you're gonna be like, this is cute, I no longer want to spy for the Nazis. And you're gonna go to Miami and you're gonna go like, I'm done. I just met a Cuban hottie and I'm staying. If they were smart, they would have just dropped them off in Delaware. That would have worked. Because they would be like, this country sucks, I'm all for the Nazis. Yeah, I'm all, but you don't want to send them to a cuter place than where you're coming

Starting point is 00:35:25 from. Nobody goes from Heidelberg to Miami and goes, you know what, I'm siding with Heidelberg. Just doesn't happen. No. Now, do you want to talk about next whatever you got or do you want to talk about Lincoln? Let's do what you got. No, I just want to say that- I want to say that I love you.

Starting point is 00:35:41 I want to say that I love you too, but let's talk about Lincoln so we can build to what I want to talk about, which is how it relates to today and why we're doing this episode because it's become a big issue. Big. Big. Big, big, big. Because here's why you and I work. What I love to do is just stay in the past.

Starting point is 00:35:57 I like to hide away. I like to have fun and make believe I'm in the past because I can have some control of it. And I like to just make believe I'm fun, fun, fun. I'm in the past. What you like to do is think about the past, because I can have some control of it. And I like to just make believe I'm fun, fun, fun. I'm in the past. What you like to do is think about the past, but relate it to the future. How does it help me now?

Starting point is 00:36:10 Right. So that's why we're good, because I like living in the past. You like living in the present. Yeah, well, we both like living in the past, but for different reasons, because you like living in the past when the Germans had a little power

Starting point is 00:36:20 for like a couple of decades. Not the, yeah, you know, a certain group of those Germans. And you guys lost. I like thinking about the past because it was when my people were glorious, but now they're basically selling shoes. So we're basically the al-Bundi of countries. We figured out today that the powers that be,

Starting point is 00:36:37 the prison planet, that the rulers of the prison planet who have enslaved our negative emotions that they feed off, we have figured out that they like, the head of this simulation really has fun with every human being, but they really have fun with Janis and I. What they like from me is they like to say, you know what, this kid loves sweets,

Starting point is 00:36:55 this kid loves pizza. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna make him eat it and we're gonna give him genetically high cholesterol and predispose him to diabetes. So the more he eats it, the closer he is to dying. So we're gonna make it, it's gonna be fun for us to watch him try to eat cacao and take the cheese off his pizza.

Starting point is 00:37:10 We're gonna try to find him. That's what's gonna be fun for us is just watch his kids struggle. And then with Yanni, what they've done is they said, we're gonna give him the mindset, we're gonna give him the exact brain and we're gonna give him the exact spirit of a Greek emperor, but we're gonna put him alive

Starting point is 00:37:24 at a time when Greece doesn't even have money in their ATM machines. We're going to put him at the worst possible time to ever be Greek, but give him the mind of a Greek emperor, and these guys just sit up here and laugh. So Ex Parte Curian, 317 US 1 was the case of the United States Supreme Court that during World War II upheld the jurisdiction of a United States military tribunal over the trial of eight German saboteurs. So that ex parte quorum is just actually the name of the case. That's what it is.

Starting point is 00:37:56 That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. So that answers that question. So like tell us about that, because I know you want to get to present day and we all want to get to present day. So tell us about how you think Lincoln connects to all this. Well you tell us about Lincoln and I'll tell us.

Starting point is 00:38:10 Well Lincoln did it during the Civil War. He suspended habeas corpus. But didn't you have something cute loaded up? I got something cute loaded up about Trump. Yeah. Okay. But there's not much more to say about that, that just during the Civil War, Lincoln upheld, he upheld not using habeas corpus because he was like, these are enemy combatants and

Starting point is 00:38:32 that's what it is. Oh. They don't get the rights. Before we get to Trump, can we at least be cute and talk about Guantanamo Bay? Yeah, there's nothing cuter than Guantanamo Bay. Guantanamo Bay habeas corpus. Those orange suits are cute. Cute? Guantanamo Bay? Yeah, there's nothing cuter than Guantanamo Bay. Can you do Guantanamo Bay, habeas corpus? Those orange suits are cute. Cute, Guantanamo Bay.

Starting point is 00:38:49 Who designed those suits? Oh my god, we're in Cuba. Cuts, Guantanamo Bay. And I wanna watch Jesse spell Guantanamo Bay, G-U-A-N-T-A-M-A-O. Actually, I think that might be it. Well, put in habeas corpus too, Guantanamo Bay. Guantanamo Bay is interesting too,

Starting point is 00:39:04 because it's in Cuba, but it's like ours, which is wild. It's a military base that's ours, but it's also in Cuba. It's like Flushing Queens is in New York, but it's China. Yeah, it's just very weird. Yeah, it's a little habeas corpus. It's a detention center. This is what I wanted to do, Rasul versus Bush.

Starting point is 00:39:19 So Supreme Court ruled in 2004 that foreign detainees at Guantanamo Bay have the right to file habeas corpus petitions in US federal court. So basically, because they were basically saying like, look, I know that you're technically on US soil, even though we're not in the US at all, we're in Cuba, but you don't have any rights here. You're a detainee of war. And then the lawyers were able to kind of accept that they have actually it's boomer dean verse bush 2008 is the bigger one supreme court ruled that detainees have a constitutional right to habeas corpus despite being held outside the u.s so wherever you are the basically u.s is saying wherever you are if you have anything to do with the united states if you're being held in russia you have a right to habeas corpus through us. So they, they, their attempt, Congress's attempt to strip courts of jurisdiction was struck down. So basically, they were trying, we were Congress, Congress probably really would rather habeas

Starting point is 00:40:18 corpus not be there because they want to just arrest everybody. Well, they want, they want a little thing, because modern day slavery is the US prison system. So they want to put everyone in jail so they can make license plates and toothpaste. Yeah, well I would say, especially, I think the executive branch or the one that's in power at the time probably has the most motivation to suspend habeas corpus, especially post 9-11. So George Bush was trying to do a big. George Bush wanted to suspend habeas corp.

Starting point is 00:40:45 He wanted to arrest, he wanted to arrest, everyone was a terrorist. Everyone was a terrorist. Just what it is. Just like right now, everyone's in MS-13. It was, we're reliving what was happening then, right? So then it was like, if you were Muslim and you were there, they're like, who are you guy?

Starting point is 00:40:58 Yeah. And they were like, hey, I'm just a guy who owns an auto body shop. They were like, yeah, but you're working for ISIS. Yeah, because the thing is too, like when you would see these things online, like during the middle of the pandemic, when China would just like lock people in their homes, they don't have habeas corpus. So we do. So that's why you're just free here. And don't let the

Starting point is 00:41:13 algorithm fool you to tell you that the United States is not the number one country and the best place for you to live. It absolutely is. Like I said, if you don't think it, then go try another one on for size and see what happens. And then when we have an enemy, we just go a little overboard. It's what we do. We were fighting Japan, we threw them in camps. Yes. And we're American citizens, it's what we do.

Starting point is 00:41:34 When 9-11 happened afterwards, if you were Muslim, we just threw you in camps and you were American citizens, it's what we do. Right now, we're doing a little thing called catapult wall. Yeah. Where we're just taking Mexicans and we're shooting them over the wall and a lot of them are going, hey, I'm an American citizen and we're going, ah, but you know, we're just catapulting you because it's what we do. We go a little overboard and we like to invoke a little thing called non-combatant law or

Starting point is 00:41:58 whatever it's called. What it is because we call you in part of a national emergency, we catapult you. We catapult you and you better start getting your real ID going, because right now you can't even get on an airplane if you don't have a real ID, you gotta have your passport, and I'm kinda just feeling that one way or another, they're gonna start revoking US passports,

Starting point is 00:42:14 you better have that real ID. I think it's just a good time if your name is Jorge to just start calling yourself George. It's what it is. That's what I'm saying. It's what it is. Just like in World War II, if your name was Ting Tao or Hey the Coup, or something like that, just call yourself John Smith. Yes, that's what it is. That's what it is. Just like in World War II if your name was King Tao or Heideku or something like that, just call yourself John Smith.

Starting point is 00:42:26 Yes, that's just what it is. That's just what it is, you know? Yeah. If your name was Matsui back then, Haduki Matsui, you just want to call yourself Steve Matsui. It's just what it is. That's what you want to do. Right now, if your name, or during after 9-11, your name was Muhammad Muhammad, you just

Starting point is 00:42:40 want to change your name to Steve. Yeah. My name's Steve. Or be cute and do what Muhammad Amr does. Just go by Mo. Mo. Mo. Hey, I'm Mo.

Starting point is 00:42:51 What's up, Mo? I'm Mo. Hey, it's Mo. I'm just an American guy. Now, Yanni is going to tell us all about how this affects the present day United States and Donald Trump right after this break. I want you to close your eyes right now.

Starting point is 00:43:02 Yeah. And imagine what you're going to look like in six months. Do it. Yeah, because I started using hems and my what you're going to look like in six months. Do it. Yeah, because I started using hems and my hair is getting thicker. You can see it already. Yeah. Doesn't it look good? Yeah. Now picture, because imagine you didn't have it, how bad it would look. But since you got... I look like a bird.

Starting point is 00:43:16 Yeah, right. But since you got that hems, now you're looking nice and thick. What can happen in three to six months? You can pick up a new hobby, get anything you want, life can go this way, life can go that way, you can do about half of your New Year's resolution, whatever you want to do, or you can just start seeing thicker, fuller hair regrowth through HIMS. Not bad for just three to six months, that kid Stephen Miller needs a little HIMS. He needs a little bit. And here's the thing about hims. You can avoid jumping through a bunch of frustrating hoops and get access to treatments without

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Starting point is 00:44:10 that's the best part. No uncomfortable doctor's visits either. That's always uncomfortable going to the doctor. I hate it. So right now you start your free online visit today at hims.com slash hyenas. That's h-i-m-s dot com slash hcom.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com details and important safety information." I just memorized that. So you get the picture, right? We have habeas corpus until the government deems we have some sort of natural, we have a national emergency or, you know, we feel like there's some nefarious groups in the country that are trying to, you know, cause some problems, right? And they have allegiances to foreign powers or whatever. And then we seek to suspend and just start catapulting. Yeah, it's what it is.

Starting point is 00:45:11 So right now we got a huge catapult out. Yeah, it's what it is. I think Trump has put his name on it. Just like he puts his name on buildings and everything else, it's just a Trump catapult. It's just fun. And it's what they're doing. ICE is just catapulting. Their budget is crazy.

Starting point is 00:45:24 They're going to run out of money because they're just running all over the place and they're just catapulting people. That's what it is. Because yeah, ICE is funded by Bitcoin. They've got a lot of cash. I mean, they really are spending money right now to get people out of the country. And the Trump administration is going, hey, everybody is in this gang. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:42 Everyone's in this Venezuelan gang. What's it called? Tres Leches or something like that? Some tres something. Oh yeah, I know what it is. So they're just going they're all in that, they're all in MS-13 and a lot of lawyers are going like, hey, this is just a Mexican guy and Trump is going, no, they all got gang affiliations. So right now, Stephen Miller, right? Everyone knows who he is. He's the bald guy who you know, if you look at his internet history, it's going to be Everyone knows who he is. He's the bald guy who you know, if you look at his internet history,

Starting point is 00:46:06 it's gonna be weird. Yeah. Okay? But he's a well-spoken guy, and he's kind of- Oh yeah, it's gonna be real weird. Yeah. I mean, that guy, he's- Yes. He's got the face, I like to call his face, weird internet history. Yeah, he does. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:21 He's just, I mean, that kid, yeah. Yeah, that's just who he is. He's a lawyer, this kid. Yeah, he is. Is he a lawyer? Actually, go back, Jesse, off the images, where you were. He is the Deputy Chief of Staff. I'm not sure if he's an actual lawyer.

Starting point is 00:46:38 Okay. I know he was like a, he was a big time think tank guy kind of person, right? It's wild that I'm older than him. Yeah. He's 39 years old. He's 39. He went to, no, he's not a lawyer. He went to Duke.

Starting point is 00:46:52 So he went to Duke and that's a good education. What he needs is a little thing called Nutri-Foam, which is also sponsored this podcast, which can help his hair thin again, hair long. I mean, the kid's bald big. Yeah. At this point, just shave it. He needs hair tits big time. He needs hair tits, but I do, but he's doing good things for this country. He's well, okay

Starting point is 00:47:08 I mean right opinion maybe I don't know see so he's uh, he's been the spokesperson for this He's been the one out there Talking to the press and he's saying that currently and this is his words quote unquote They are actively looking at suspending habeas corpus to facilitate these mass deportations. Oh, so maybe he's not doing great things. Well, I don't know, it depends. Are they all gang members? So it's Tren de Aragua is the gang, that's the Venezuelan gang, and the administration is arguing that the current influx of migrants constitutes an invasion. So basically they're saying this is an invasion and this justifies the suspension of habeas corpus under constitutional

Starting point is 00:47:51 provisions. So there's a case court right now where that's been challenged and it's JGG v. Trump, which is a class action habeas corpus lawsuit, which was filed on behalf of these Venezuelan migrants detained under the Alien Enemies Act. So they've been detained under the Alien Enemies Act, and a federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order to halt their deportation while they look at this, but the administration has proceeded with the deportations in spite of the legal ruling. So this is very concerning because Trump and his administration is basically saying fuck the law.

Starting point is 00:48:31 Right. Invoking the Aliens Enemies Act and we're just going, these are enemy combatants and we're invoking that and so fuck your legal ruling. So he's basically. Pretty crazy. So it's basically- Pretty crazy. So it's a little concerning. And it's got a lot of people concerned.

Starting point is 00:48:48 But I still don't think that they're gonna be able to do that. I don't think that they're gonna be able to. The United States government is not gonna be able to suspend habeas corpus. I think it's just like when Trump said he's gonna, people are worried that he's gonna run for three terms and he's like, I'm not gonna do that.

Starting point is 00:49:02 I just, I think our imaginations and our anxieties get the best of us. I don't think that this is actually going to happen. Well, it is happening. And that's the thing. So currently, no, but it's not. There's no, we have habeas corpus right now. Yeah, but we do. But if you're deemed an invader, oh, so you're saying right now, if you're like a good citizen, like you've never committed a crime at all, at any moment, the US government could say you're an invader. They can. And now habeas cor're like a good citizen, like you've never committed a crime at all, at any moment the US government could say, you're an invader. They can.

Starting point is 00:49:27 And now, habeas corpus. That's what the fear is. So the fear is they can just grab anybody. Is there a way, is there a way to get my family in front of, is there a way that I can pick certain members of my family and just say, can you just take a look and do they, are they enemy combatants?

Starting point is 00:49:48 Are they enemy combatants or not? Yeah, are they invading our country? Can I upload a picture? Is there a site? Yeah. I got a couple of people that showed up to the barbecue the other day and I just want to know if they're enemy combatants. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:00 Well. They look like they could be. I mean, it's definitely, they got the look. Yeah. They got the look. Not all of them. Yeah. There's definitely, they got the luck. Yeah. They got the luck. Not all of them. Yeah. There's certain members of the family though. Yeah. So they're doing it to expedite the deportations.

Starting point is 00:50:10 They don't want anything to hold it up. They just want to get them out and they're calling it an invasion. And so that's what's going on. Cause if you come up to my pool this summer, you're going to see a lot of people of the family I married into. You're going to see a lot of guys

Starting point is 00:50:24 in the pool with jean shorts on. So you'd have to look at every one of these guys and say, are these guys, are they gang members? Are they invaders? And even if they are, do they still have the right to go in front of a judge? Can we just say this? Can we just make this one rule? No matter what you look like,

Starting point is 00:50:47 no matter what country you're from, if you have a tattoo on your face, you're an enemy combatant. Can we just say that? If you have a tattoo of anywhere on your face, you're an enemy combatant, you're out of here. We're gonna be getting, well then Post Malone is out of here. Get him out of here! Yeah, can we just say, can we make sweeping rules?

Starting point is 00:51:06 It's a good start. If you have a tattoo on your face, you're an enemy combatant. If you're outside the city of Los Angeles, but you're wearing Los Angeles Dodgers gear, you're an enemy combatant. Yeah. OK?

Starting point is 00:51:16 That's a, I think, listen. I think we should codify that. Yeah. If you're wearing, if you're driving one of those low riding cars, enemy combat. Yes. Okay? The Constitution actually says in Article 1 that the writ of habeas corpus shall not

Starting point is 00:51:34 be suspended unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion, the public safety may require. But this is what I'm saying, I think the same way how the only thing is if Donny T pulls an Abe Lincoln and said, that's the only thing. If Donny T pulls an Abe Lincoln and says, well, you know, like when Congress told Abe Lincoln, you have to listen to us and Abe said, no, we're at war. If Donald Trump says, no, we're at war, that's the only thing where he can suspend habeas corpus

Starting point is 00:52:04 and not listen. But that's a tough thing to advocate for because this isn't a war, even though he's trying to frame it as that. But let's be honest, most of these people are not committing crimes. No, most of them are not. Now the United States has only suspended habeas corpus four times. And Jesse, can you scroll back to where you just had that? Sometimes you scroll a little faster than we need. So the four times was, like we said, during the Civil War, during Reconstruction in South Carolina, in the Philippines during a 1905 insurrection, and in Hawaii in 1941 after Pearl Harbor was bombed by Japan during World War II.

Starting point is 00:52:42 That's why they took the Japanese and put them in internment camps. They just put them in camps. So what we might have is a little thing, this time it might get suspended and we'll just call them internment campos. It just might be a little, because it might just be the new Japanese may just be here. It's right, it's kind of what's happening right now. You know, history repeats itself, so here we are again. Are we overreacting? That's the thing we not are we yeah i'll say that did we overreact after 9 11 did you overreact with the japanese in world war two well here's the thing i want to say i want to say that i do think here's the thing is 9 11 definite overreaction for sure however today in today's world but it

Starting point is 00:53:22 didn't bother us that overreaction into well, I'm asking. I'm not saying it depends. It depends on what your face looked like. Right. Yeah. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. We just, we just spit the facts here. It's just harder to catch a cab for a couple of years. So I'll say in New York city, in New York city though, if you go look outside in the New York, that I've grown up in, you know, been here for 40 years. That you love. That I love. It does feel a little bit more unsafe and it does look a little bit different than any other time in history.

Starting point is 00:53:49 So what I will say is, if you are going to call some of this stuff, and when I say invasion, I mean- Just don't take my landscaper. Right. When I say invasion, I'm not talking about illegal immigrants, I'm talking about fentanyl, I'm talking about there's like a mind virus invasion, then yes, I do think some of this country has changed and we got to watch out for that. But I don't think that, I don't think,

Starting point is 00:54:11 I genuinely in my heart, in my cholesterol filled heart, I do not think that Donald Trump is going to change the constitutional law of the United States to just mass deport people who would otherwise be good US citizens. I genuinely think he's looking for gang members and he's trying to get out the people who are committing crimes. I do think there are a lot of people in this country now who are just full-on gang members who are trying to exploit the United States and they're coming here

Starting point is 00:54:42 for business opportunities that are not good. I don't think he's trying to throw out the guy who's just trying to you know work with his family, you know work for his family, send the check home and drink a beer and watch Ugly Betty reruns at night. Yeah well the only problem with that is and I'm just I'm just bringing it up is a few people because this is why your country always gets subjugated by other countries. You Greeks are always looking for problems. So there's been a few people who've been they've attempted to catapult because they were pro-Palestine protesters on

Starting point is 00:55:16 campuses. So that's another thing. They got a few of those going on. They're kind of annoying. So They're kind of annoying. So, Mamoudou Tal, a British Gambian PhD student at Cornell, was informed by immigration officials that his student visa had been revoked. The action followed his involvement in pro-Palestinian protests on campus, including the disruption of a career fair featuring defense contractors. Also, this kid, he was just a regular protester, which is a legal right here, and they revoked his citizenship basically and made him a agitator and they're going to run him out. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:55:56 Okay, so that's not cute. Well, I don't know. So he filed a lawsuit challenging the executive orders that targeted international students engaged in such activism, but a federal judge denied his request to halt the deportation proceedings, citing concerns for his safety and freedom of expression. Tal chose to leave the U.S. voluntarily on March 31st. Muhammad Khalil? No.

Starting point is 00:56:21 We're talking about? No, we were talking about Momo Dutal. Momo Dutal actually decided on his own accord to just leave. Yeah. And go back and go where? Because he was concerned for his safety. But where did he go? I don't know where he went.

Starting point is 00:56:33 Probably back to his country because he was here on a student visa. Got it. So there's been a few of those. Then we got the NYU Abu Dhabi wore a Palestinian KEF, whatever it's called, and shouted free Palestine as he received his diploma. Days later, he was reportedly detained and deported back to the UAE. So the UAE maintained strict regulations on political expression and such acts are often met with swift gubernatorial response. The NYU Abu Dhabi stated that while his academic authority on campus It does not have jurisdiction over local laws and

Starting point is 00:57:10 So this is complex. So it's just a little complex as you're going like these guys are just saying stuff They're just saying stuff and they're being deported because they're saying stuff. Yeah, so is that cute or is it brutes? Is it yeah, I don't know. I don't know and what? Jesse, is that cute or brutes? It's a mixed bag. It's a mixed bag. Mixed bag. So why don't you write in the YouTube comments, do you think habeas corpus is gonna get upheld

Starting point is 00:57:34 or taken away and is it cute or brutes and do we just have to protect this great nation of laws? Yeah, well here's the thing also is a lot of these migrants are being deported to this El Salvadorian fucking prison, which is definitely not cute. Not cute. Do you know anything about this El Salvadorian fucking prison, which is definitely not cute. Not cute. Do you know anything about the El Salvadorian prison? No.

Starting point is 00:57:50 Do you want to talk about it? Yeah, I do want to talk about it. And we'll do that with our final 10 minutes because it is very not cute. Me and Jesse were talking about it. So the president of El Salvador is a guy that just came into power and he put everyone in prison. It's just what it is. So El Salvador was having a lot of problems,

Starting point is 00:58:05 admittedly, a lot of problems with crime, right? So what he said is he did a feminist argument. He went, who commits crimes? Guys. So he just took the entire population of El Salvador, that was guys, and he put them in prison. So if we were in El Salvador right now, we would just be in jail.

Starting point is 00:58:22 Exactly. But at least they have masks on and they're keeping social distancing. I mean, look at that prison, it is not cute. So those are their, there's no room for anybody. It is overflowing. How many people did he put in prison again? It was like- It was insane, like 60,000,

Starting point is 00:58:36 it was incredible. 80,000, something like that, men, he just put them in prison and- For life, there was no, no habeas corpus in El Salvador. Right now, if you wanna meet a hot lady, go to El Salvador, there's just no dudes. They're all in prison. It's just ladies walking around.

Starting point is 00:58:50 I mean, he's taken and so- What is actually happening? Can we- Yeah, so this is what's happened is the crime was so bad, he put all the men in the country in prison and now the crime rate has plummeted to like zero because there's no guys on the street. So some people are going, he's going overboard. Some people are Trump, like Trump are going, I like this guy's style.

Starting point is 00:59:09 I like this guy's fucking MO. So he created this big massive prison and the prison is really bad. Yeah, their homicide rate went down to 1.9 homicides per 100,000 people. Now what happens is Trump has incentivized this guy to take our prisoners. So not our prisoners, I'm sorry, to take our deported, the deported migrants. So he's just Even if you're not from El Salvador, you're going to the El Salvadoran prison. Yeah, and so they get, they get financial assistance for every, every deported person they receive.

Starting point is 00:59:46 So he's just taking in all these people. So one of those people was the guy, was the famous guy or infamous however you wanna talk about it, who had the tattoos on his hands, and they said he was an MS-13 gang member. Where they call him? Maryland man. So Maryland man was this guy who was living in Maryland,

Starting point is 01:00:02 but the Trump administration is saying he is an MS-13 Chicago gang member, even though he doesn't live in Chicago. But they say, look at his tattoos in his hands and he had a marijuana leaf, something else, something else. And they say that translates to MS 13, which it probably does. He has known affiliate. He's affiliated with people who are in the gang. So Trump took him, deported him and put him in this El Salvadorian prison. So his lawyers are going like, what the fuck? He's not an MS-13 and what do you put him

Starting point is 01:00:28 in this prison? And we need you to release him right now. And then the Supreme Court of the United States said, release him. He needs habeas corpus. But the El Salvadorian president says, I can't release him. I'm not releasing terrorists. But then the lawyers are going, this guy's not releasing them because he's financially incentivized to keep them in. So is true. So the United States ruled our own... So basically, the United States, from their point of view, they have a hostage. El Salvador has a hostage in their prison.

Starting point is 01:00:53 Right. And the El Salvador prison is just going, I'm not releasing him. I don't release terrorists. He's a terrorist, that's it. And then they're going, but you're being paid to keep them by the Trump administration. And he's going like, what? I being paid to keep them by the Trump administration. And he's going like, what? I don't release terrorists. I don't release terrorists. He's just saying the same thing. I don't release terrorists. I don't know what you want me to say, babe. She's just a friend. Yeah. And Trump is going, hey, I know what the Supreme

Starting point is 01:01:16 Court ruled, but there's nothing I can do about it because the El Salvadoran president won't release him. And then he's just winking at the camera. And that's just what's going on. Jesse, was that an accurate summation in colloquial parlance. Yes, but he is El Salvadorian. Nobody can hear you. Can you speak into the mic? He's El Salvadorian. He's El Salvadorian.

Starting point is 01:01:34 He is in his right country. He's in the country he's from. I just noticed right now that Jesse is wearing boat shoes. Jesse's wearing boat shoes with no socks. What are you doing, Jesse? Are you going somewhere else? It's an even worse story than that. His neighbor gave him those shoes.

Starting point is 01:01:47 No, he put them out on the street. He put them out on the street. Wait, yeah. Can you put, throw me your shoe. You don't want to see my feet. It might be worse than yours. So that's what's going on right now is Maryland man is at the center center of this habeas corpus controversy.

Starting point is 01:02:02 A lot of these protesters are at the center of this habeas corpus controversy. A lot of these protesters are at the center of this habeas corpus and this free speech controversy and you're going like, hey, what are we doing here? And some people are going, hey, we're doing a little cleaning. And some people are going, hey, you're suspending rights. So which side are you on? Are we cleaning or are we suspending rights? So it's very interesting. We do this whole episode about habeas corpus and it's playing out in real time right now. Watch the news, see what's going on, tell them the history hyena sent you. Any other fun things you want to know about habeas corpus, let us know in the comments,

Starting point is 01:02:31 youtube.com slash history hyenas, like and subscribe, tell your friends. And if you're a member of ICE, Chris will provide his address to you after this. Because just know that, just know, yeah, I'm going to treat you like I'm the king of El Salvador and I'm just gonna get financially incentivized. You can stay with me. So, Patreon.com slash history hyenas, the newest members of the matriarchy, where the community exists. The most fun we have is at Patreon. Here are the newest members of the matriarchy.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Funniest name, wins. Chrissy, how do I tell my wife? Hold on. Newest member of the matriarchy, Chrissy, how do I tell my wife it, what? Chrissy, how do I tell my wife it's me who's eating all her yogurt? Okay, just tell her. Tell her, yeah. Oh, and then here we go, we got somebody who might be on the list, Fardeen Shoudhry, and when I say list,

Starting point is 01:03:23 I mean deportation list. Just kidding. Tim Dillon fucked me with the Ralph Lauren strap on. I like that, I like that. Ryan Dunyon, Caitlin Lowe, touch of the tis, it's what it is. Okay. Not.

Starting point is 01:03:37 Clay, Rupert Everton, Brandon Beaker, Mandy Palmer, William Collins, David. Straight to the back. Yep, David Moncayo, Wanston Tomato, Jason Ken Snavely. Then we got Laser Beams Make My Nose Squeam. Okay, okay. Johnny Rhodes, Kickin' Share Hats, Nima Mohamedzada. That's someone who's definitely on Bush's suspension

Starting point is 01:04:00 of habeas scorpion. It's just what it is, yeah. Yeah, so we'll call those names like that habeas scorpions. Yeah. Lauren Jones, then we got AOC's Back Shot Fumes Not Gross, it's a character piece. A Side of Chicken Grease with Big Mike's Peace. Drexler, Drexler, yeah, it's a good Drex. Tao is But My Chill's Wrong Too Much Ching Chong, Ching Chong.

Starting point is 01:04:23 Okay. Cody Milam, Travis Luttrell, Chicken Factory, Jesus Estrada, Make No Mistake, Mike. Havius Corpus. Havius Corpus, Make No Mistake, Mike Rockefeller's for the table. Cause he was. Put him on the list. Cause he was on the list.

Starting point is 01:04:37 Put him on the list. That's a throwback to about 15 episodes ago where Mike Rockefeller, grandson of Nelson Rockefeller, was eaten by cannibals. Then we got Vlad the Impaler's Fluffer. Ooh, okay. GP Wong Tong Thot. Okay, Wong Tong Thot. Wong Tong Thot.

Starting point is 01:04:57 I don't know. Instead, yeah, it's okay. Then we got One Glue Over the Cuckoo's Chest. Very good. Nice. I'm gonna list that. Okay. Yeah, I like that. Instead of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Chest. Very good. Nice. I'm gonna list that. Okay. Yeah, I like that.

Starting point is 01:05:07 Instead of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Yeah. Then we got Sat on a Weener and Spun Me Around. Okay. Big Sweez, Patrick Kelly, Sam T, Johnny, Danny Eli, Sam, Max Archin, Steve Kerr's Son, AKA. It's a loophole. Oh, yeah, you got the walked in one.

Starting point is 01:05:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to just take a moment to give credit to the walked in ones for fucking how creative they do to sneak them past. You said it's a loophole. Yeah, I mean, that was so good. That was so good. Because, what do you call it?

Starting point is 01:05:39 Nick, what's the name? Said Steve Kerr's son, AKA. It's a loophole. I mean, and then he calls it a loophole. Yeah I mean it deserves to be the PPW for how creative it is But it's a walked-in to one it's a walk you get the walked-in on the ward Let me tell you something if you're listening that was one of the most creative names we've ever had. Yeah, I mean Chris didn't even could never have seen that coming. No. Yeah. Cause he tricked you with the Steve Kerr.

Starting point is 01:06:05 Yeah. And then just, I kept getting tricked. Yeah. Dawson. Then we got peace poking through my jeans like Ms. Rachel's titty piercings. Yeah. Raj put on a frisbee now.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Hey, walk into one. What? Did you do that? Yeah. Jason Mitchell. Then we got Yanni Mansplaining Mesopotamia. Okay. Then we got Stefani Germanata's gentrified grease ball Kumar. What's the Germanata? That sounds like, oh Stephanie. It's Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Nicholas Valanoti. Leroy De Niro. Leroy De Niro's a chicken figure. Danny P. straight to the back.

Starting point is 01:06:46 Because his kids are black. That's what it is. Tanner Pease, Rocco Madia, Nico, Bruthor Brown, Last Name is Muzzy, but I'm white. Okay. Elon Doosbury, Don Kadak, Alex Lee, Jack, Schultz might be black considering his sperm can't swim. Put him on the list. On the list. Jesus Christ. Good one.

Starting point is 01:07:06 Yeah, that's a good one. You don't get it? Andrew Schultz, right? Big black audience. His sperm can't swim. He has trouble getting his woman pregnant and so who can't swim? Oh yeah, yeah. That's why. Layers. Yeah, it's got layers. It's great. Then we got Captain... I'd say contender. Yeah, okay. Captain Joshua Blox, glue-filled cock Went with Steph Germanata and she let me poke her face Poke her face. It's a good, good... On the list. Yep. On the list. Good, creative Chat G P T Chrissy D Yanni touched my peepee Never met a muzzy, kinda weird. They fuck before it's fuzzy. Okay

Starting point is 01:07:44 My hippie... What's good about that? It's a pedophile joke. weird, they fuck before it's fuzzy. Okay. My hippie- What's good about that? It's a pedophile joke. Yes, they fuck before it's fuzzy. Oh, yeah. They saying that that community has sex with young girls. Oh, yeah, it's, yeah, okay, Drexler. My hippie ex-girlfriend's Bush did 9-11,

Starting point is 01:07:58 never forget, loud at 14. Pro frisbee golfer, called ice on the missus, now the pool boy gives me kisses. Nathan Pence, Shane Kuniff, Alex Kim. You're the wanks on all fours. Madame Mike Mike, Brittany Bergeron, Sam Succomano. House on fire but I'm not leaving this closet. Indian Steve.

Starting point is 01:08:23 PPW Bush doesn't care about black people. Okay. I don't know what that means. The Sun aka Andrew Santino's worst nightmare. Joan of Arc's flaming flip-flops. History Hyena cum slut, allegedly. No babe, yours is perfect, the tight ones hurt. Drexler just for the funny. Carlos Lamaroc, Andrew Reed, Billy Bearns, Matt Johnson, Andrew, Andrew Spirulli, Nick Carey, Captain Ron 19, Gypsy Anonymous, Stu Ben Dover, Alexis Horales, Brad, Andy Frasco, gal named Christy who wants Chrissy D in her pee, Two Inches in Alex, Joshua Myers, Jeremy Walton, Chrissy's fat black ass, I like my coffee, like my farm equipment, Leroy. Okay.

Starting point is 01:09:21 What's farm equipment? Is Leroy farm equipment? I don't get it. Slavery joke? Maybe. Oh, walk in one. Okay. What's, is Leroy farm equipment? I don't get it. Slavery joke. Maybe. Oh, walkin' one. Okay. Yeah, thank you Jesse.

Starting point is 01:09:31 Matt Fala, Yanni Pappas is fritas, Anthony Hodges, Ian, I want to put my duck sauce in Ali Wong's bento box. That's what it is. That's what it is. Caesar, a cactuses, my wife is for the table. In between making her cream still on the beam. Good one Drexler.

Starting point is 01:09:52 VV22682, somebody just put their screen name. Jake Dean. Stephanie M with the sauce on the water. JV Dance. CPA youngboy, make no mistake, Stephanie Germanada makes my peacequake, Stephanie Germanada can toss my Encelada, damn these are a few back, Stephanie Germanada

Starting point is 01:10:14 was from like a couple weeks ago. We're catching up. T-Come 2, Connor Martin, Jonathan McKee, Dylan Long, Bad Friends Podcast, AKA Twins. Kid in the One. Kid in the One. Kid in the One! Pretty funny though. Tony R. drives home from the bar

Starting point is 01:10:30 because jail smells better than an Uber. Chandler Davis. Nicotine Monkey. Yanni P. aka General Schnusalone. Funny, funny. Charlie Crackpipe. Steve Bannon's glue cannon. Impractical jokers PR team.

Starting point is 01:10:52 Oh, impractical jokers PR team. Sui woo we watch like suicide watch. Yeah. Steven Lewis, cutie patootie with a sticky booty. That's glue Mari. Live. Whoa. Glue Mari. sticky booty. That's glue Mari live whoa Glue Mari glue Mari that's the glue Mari. Yeah, cutie-patootie with a sticky booty. That's glue Mari and for That's really good

Starting point is 01:11:16 Drexler Drexler, okay. Yeah live from the CCP aka Chrissy's Colin polyps Put him on the list nice Richard Kukenstein, Michael McKenna, Kanye's glue gun paintings on his new white sheets, Joey Germanata is for the table. Mark Cuban isn't Cuban, but I deport him. Okay. He's a kid, he's a Republican kid. Daniel Sobrowski, we're peaking fucked.

Starting point is 01:11:43 Lady Gaza. Phil a chicken finger. Philosophagus Stephanie. German odd is gay. Armada Jessica held at glue gun point and burnt off. Well, data was good. What?

Starting point is 01:12:03 It's such a good one though, it's such a good one. It's such a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Good point. It's a good one. It's a walk in one though. Can't do it. Joshua Cashwell, Jacob Boyd, Michael Little, Derek Coughlin, Annie Kim, Travis Couture,

Starting point is 01:12:17 Nathaniel Adkins, Matt Reif, aka Pope Francis' last meal. Way song she ain't. Francis's last meal. Yeah, last. Alright. Joe Germsperm makes a return, aka Stephanie Germinata is coming to New York. Nico McDonald, Andrew Pesrowich, Mr. T is God, Stephanie Germinata made me nut in her frittata, latter 14 atta. Okay. Samantha Land. Oh wow, from Patreon. Who? Samantha Land. Who's that? The girl who loves us with our Patreon. Oh, yeah, she's on the list. She's on the list.

Starting point is 01:12:56 Okay. Blaise Nimans, Eduardo. Father Bill had J.D. Vance and Pope Francis to the Epstein list. Colby Minick, Kanye's cousin but not that cousin. Dropping my care package on AOC's landing strip. Lee E Gaga, cuzzy wuzzy was a fuzzy muzzy who did upper decky poopsies. When the stench hits your nose of the burnt furor, Maury. Yeah, you just walked into a pit one. You just walked into a pit one. If you're a joke, it's not okay. Yeah, but I gotta say these walked into ones are very creative. E.T. beats his meat to Chrissy D's fucked up feet. James Culver, Andrew Carver, Michael Lawrence, Levi's daughter.

Starting point is 01:13:46 Okay, one more page. Peter Moreno. Turd doesn't fall too far from the... Fucking anyone can use that word, folks. Marie Newman, Jose... Hopefully we can use that word. Yeah. Jose Guevara, William Cole. I met Chrissie in Charleston and I said I listened to all his podcasts and he said go to therapy. Alexis Pinal-Daleye, local cougar MD, my frisbee went... Tyler Florence, losing the war, only thing I can do is move to Argentina and Not the place

Starting point is 01:14:31 But keep up coming Brian W. Daniel Bruce arian Heavy a heavy flow walked into what's Yanni's eyes are having a border crisis, it's what it is. Put him on the list. Yeah, that's a good chicken figure listie, yeah. Dougie Fresh, Checkmat, BTX, LLC, Wiley, Sam Francher, call my piece three musketeers cause it's soft and covered in chocolate. Put him on the list.

Starting point is 01:15:02 Yeah, Contender. Latin Squeak still growing for Muzzy Cheeks. Colton Coltledge. Tim Dillon blows guys and eats pies. It's more of a fact. Joey Germs buys Chrissy and Stephanie a nice slice. James Irwin, Mikkel, Sean McPherson, Santiago Cano. Potato Monkey's leaky lube Loophole, Catapult

Starting point is 01:15:26 Survivor listening from a cell in El Salvador, I gotta go babes, the guards are coming. Well put out the catapult and put him on the list. What it is. Jesus Christ, that's good, especially since we just did an episode about that. Mike Fusco, Daniel Edwards, King Solomon Sperm Spreader, MD Fertility, Wow, Come Gravy Kisses, spreader MD fertility wow cum gravy kisses Sean McGloin got my muff diving Brack Burt and King Fumes sunny days are for the gays Chaswick Cleckley father Bill went up the hill to fetch a Chrissy Dee Josh Aguilar Hojo Elliot Horst Matt Monahan areola grande John Flaherty, Johnny Perks, Israel Hernandez, Lovelytime420,

Starting point is 01:16:07 Matthew Bishop, Clitney Spears, Helen Yeller, Colby Booker, Thomas Wubin, John Lagana, and then Dairy Farming Beavers, Anal Gland for raspberry flavoring. Drexler. All right. Here we go. We got a good list. This is a pretty good list. We got a good list. Okay, so here we go. It's a goodie. All right. So live from the CCP, aka Chrissie's Colon polyps, Matt Reif, aka Pope Francis's Last Meal. Okay, we're going to Drexler that one. Okay, Drexler.

Starting point is 01:16:45 Yeah, we're gonna Drexler that one. Good one, though. Any other day. Schultz might be black considering his sperm can't swim. We're gonna keep that on. I like it personally. Went with Steph Germanata and she let me poke her face. We're gonna Drexler that one, but it's a good one any other day.

Starting point is 01:17:00 Okay, okay. Um, alright, so we got that. Make no mistake, Mike Rockefeller's for the table. We're gonna Drexler that, good one. One glue over the cuckoo's chest. It's a good one, any other day, it's a tough one. Okay, all right. Really good.

Starting point is 01:17:16 All right. And then we got Yanni's eyes are having a border crisis, it's what it is. We're gonna keep that chicken finger as a contender, that's a good one. Call my piece three musketeers because it's soft and covered in chocolate. That's what it is. We're going to keep that chicken finger as a contender. That's a good one. Call my piece three musketeers because it's soft and covered in chalk. That's a contender.

Starting point is 01:17:29 Catapult survivor listening from a cell in El Salvador. I got to go babes, the guards are coming. That's a contender. Okay, so the contenders here are, here we go. So we got live from the CCP, aka Chrissie's colon polyps. Good one. Shultz might be black considering her sperm can't swim. Good one. Yanni's eyes having a border crisis, it's colon polyps. Good one. Schultz might be black considering his sperm can't swim.

Starting point is 01:17:45 Yanni's eyes having a border crisis, it's what it is. Call my piece three musketeers because it's soft and covered in chocolate. Catapult survivor listening from a cell in El Salvador. I gotta go, babes, the guards are coming. Okay, okay, so we do this right because these are outstanding. These are outstanding.

Starting point is 01:18:02 I'm gonna take the chocolate, you know, the... Three musketeers, cause it's soft and covered in chocolate? Yeah, it's really funny, but we do a lot of gay ones. Okay. So that's the definition of a Drexler is that... Right. I'm sorry. Right.

Starting point is 01:18:19 You should win, but it's just the other ones, and it's what it is, Drexler. Okay, Drexler, live from theler Live from the CCP Chrissy's Collins polyps Ak Chrissy's Colin polyps Schultz might be black concerning her sperm can't swim Yanni's eyes having a border crisis. It's what it is catapult survivor listening from a cell in El Salvador I gotta go babes the guards are coming Alright so for me personally, this is so hard So I'm just gonna say this is so hard, so I'm just gonna say

Starting point is 01:18:45 this is so hard just because they're all deserve to win. So our episode was about that, so I'm leaning towards that, but I'm also leaning towards Yanni's border crisis because that's very funny because it is a very thin piece of land. Yeah. Basically call this cashmere. Yeah, it's just what it is. Basically this is a disputed land strip between India and Pakistan. So it's very funny. So Schultz, CCP is out and Schultz can't swim is out. Yeah, Schultz can't swim is out, would have won on any other day and so would the polyps. So Jesse, what do you like between Yanni's eyes having a border crisis?

Starting point is 01:19:15 It's what it is or catapult survivor listening from Sel and El Salvador, I gotta go, babes, the guards are coming. I agree with Yanni. I love the catapult one. It is about what the show is about today, but we haven't had a good eye joke in a long time and it's really tight. So I'm going. It's really tight. So that's the winner. It's tight and it's unintended.

Starting point is 01:19:32 Yanni's eyes having a border crisis. It's what it is. You are the PPW Pseudo Penis of the Week. Congratulations to you. You're going to see your name up there in lights. And that's it, babe. Go to historyhyenasisback.com to see that, see all our dates. At the end of this month, I am in South Carolina, North Carolina, and Washington, D.C., ChristieComedy.com for tickets. Yeah, I'm in Stanford, Connecticut, and that's about it for the summer right now,

Starting point is 01:19:57 and something in Montana. Now your special's coming out. Yeah.

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History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Will Habeas Corpus Protect You? | History Hyenas

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