History That Doesn't Suck - Epilogue To The Revolution; Or The Big Stuff You Should’ve Caught

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

“Oh, what, you want it in a single sentence? Fine, here you go.” The epilogue to the Revolution. After enjoying the stories of Revolutionary America (1763-1789), it’s time to make sure you didn���t lose the big picture before we dive into the Early Republic. So today, we’ll cover: (1) the main causes of the Revolution; (2) the highlights of the war; (3) the bare essentials of the peace process and making the US Constitution; and (4) who won and who lost (beyond the obvious). College students who blew off the first few weeks of class and are now cramming for that midterm on the American Revolution: you’re welcome. ____ Connect with us on HTDSpodcast.com and go deep into episode bibliographies and book recommendations join discussions in our Facebook community get news and discounts from The HTDS Gazette  come see a live show get HTDS merch or become an HTDS premium member for bonus episodes and other perks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What did it take to survive an ancient siege? Why was the cult of Dionysus behind so many slave revolts in ancient Rome? What's the tragic history and mythology behind Japan's most haunted ancient forest? We're Jen and Jenny from Ancient History Fangirl. Join us to explore ancient history and mythology from a fun, sometimes tipsy, perspective. Find us at ancienthistoryfangirl.com or wherever you get your podcasts. From the creators of the popular science show with millions of YouTube subscribers comes the MinuteEarth podcast. Every episode of the show dives deep into a science question you

might not even know you had, but once you hear the answer, you'll want to share it with everyone you know. Why do rivers curve? Why did the T-Rex have such tiny arms? And why do so many more kids need glasses now than they used to? Spoiler alert, it isn't screen time. Our team of scientists digs into the research and breaks it down into a short, entertaining explanation, jam-packed with science facts and terrible puns. Subscribe to MinuteEarth wherever you like to listen. Welcome to History That Doesn't Suck. I'm your professor, Greg Jackson, and I'd like to tell you a story. Today, however, I'm pleased to share an interview with a special guest versus my normal storytelling. Regular listeners of HTDS know that we do this occasionally to recap and give some broader context of an era explored over a series of preceding narrative episodes.

If you're new to HTDS, welcome, and you may want to jump back a couple of episodes to hear the stories leading up to this epilogue. Now, on with the show. Welcome to History That Doesn't Suck. I'm your professor, Greg Jackson, and today we're going to review the whole freaking revolution. We've arrived at the epilogue. Well, our first epilogue. The story of America isn't over. We've got a long way to go, but we've just finished volume one, the American Revolution. So now's the time to summarize and comment before we move into Volume 2. Now, if you're just discovering history that doesn't suck, awesome. You'll have a ridiculously good time listening to this, but I would encourage you to go back and listen from Episode 1. I'll still be as irreverent as ever today, but the tone of this episode will be slightly different from my usual storytelling

ways. Because, like I said in last week's Q&A, this epilogue episode is all about making sure you can see the forest from the trees as we close out the revolution and head into that brave new world that is the early republic. So today, we have four objectives. They are, one, make sure you caught the main causes of the revolution. Two, tease out the most important things to remember about the war itself. Three, review the war's aftermath, which includes making peace and the new U.S. Constitution. And four, we'll talk winners and losers. Because as I'm sure you realize after the past 15 episodes, this was a whole lot more complicated than America versus Britain.

What about the French, the Spanish, the Dutch, or even subgroups of Americans, like women, the enslaved, or Indians? I'll elaborate. Okay, you ready for this? Of course you are. You're a freaking scholar of the American Revolution at this point. So let's nail down Objective One, the cause of the outgunned Colonel George Washington is in his first major battle. Remember this from episode one? A combined French and Indian force has George's scared, injured, bleeding, and drunk 400-man army pinned down in their train wreck of a fort amid a torrential downpour.

Every time I think of this scene, I can smell the rain and the wet earth. I hear the injured Virginians scream in agony as they cling to their heavy, five-foot-long rifles, many of which are so soaked through they can't discharge anyway. I can't help but wonder, is George making peace with God this afternoon while his men make peace with the rum? Well, as you know, George lives, and that alone is important. But for now, we'll focus on the fact that his crushing defeat in the Ohio country at Fort Necessity in 1754 is the start of a serious throwdown between Britain, France, and American Indians who have little choice but to pick sides. Appropriately, this war is called the French and Indian War.

Two years later, so 1756, this American-based conflict gets downgraded to being just one theater of a global conflict between Britain and France, as well as their respective allies, fought in places like Europe and India. And what do we call this war? Oh, you know the name. Say it with me if you're not in a public place and it's super awkward. The Seven Years' War? Yes! And we care about this because, here's the big takeaway from episode one. Although the British win the Seven Years' War in 1763, its outcome sets the stage for the American Revolution. Okay, so how did the Seven Years' War do that? First, we have territorial changes. After the war, victorious Britain jacks a ton of American territory from its European opponents.

I'm talking about Spanish Florida, French Canada, and French territory east of the Mississippi. This includes modern-day American states like Wisconsin, Illinois, Mississippi, and others. The only thing east of the Mississippi River Britain doesn't get is New Orleans, which, along with all other French territory west of the Mississippi, France hands over to Spain as compensation for its loss of Florida to Britain. Sounds good for Britain and its imperial ambitions, right? Well, as you may recall from episode 2, that's complicated. See, all this new turf needs to be protected. I mean, who's to say France and Spain won't try to retake something?

And perhaps even more threatening, a lot of Indian tribes are not cool with Britain claiming their lands. Not that they were cool with France or Spain doing so, but the French were more into trading fur than aggressively settling the land, as the British do. Yeah, it's a downgrade for the Indians, and some of them are ready to fight. Some do fight. So how does the British government handle the situation? It leaves 10,000 soldiers to protect Canada, Florida, and the new frontier. It also immediately draws a line down the Appalachian Mountains and tells colonial Americans they do not have permission to settle lands to the west of it. This is called the 1763 Proclamation Line. Problem solved, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong. Colonial land speculators and colonials who want to settle, or already have settled, west of this proclamation line are all pissed at being hemmed in.

Right there, we already have one crack in the relationship between the colonies and Parliament due to the Seven Years' War. Okay, beyond adding territory, let's tackle the second big way the Seven Years' War impacts Britain. The crown is flat broke. Apparently, all that winning was expensive. The Seven Years' War nearly doubles Britain's national debt from roughly 72 million pounds to more than 130 million pounds. Just making the interest payments on its loans will require Parliament to raise taxes. So it starts thinking about ways to raise funds, and the American colonies are looking choice. Now, let me be clear. Parliament doesn't ask

the colonies to contribute directly to the national debt, but it is going to ask the colonies to pay taxes to Parliament in order to cover the cost of the British Empire in North America. Ready for another big takeaway? As we saw in Episodes 2-5, Parliament and Colonial America have mutually exclusive, incompatible interpretations of what rights the colonists have as British subjects. And this manifests itself forcefully through three tax crises between 1763 and the 1775 outbreak of the Revolutionary War. I cannot overemphasize this. Did you catch what I said? If you didn't,

rewind the freaking episode and listen to that sentence again. Oh, sure, you're biking and can't reach your phone. Fine, I'll do it for you. Three tax crises between 1763 and 1775 demonstrate that Parliament and colonial America have mutually exclusive, incompatible interpretations of the rights colonists have as British subjects. And that's what's going to unleash the crazy in April 1775 that turns into an eight-year war for independence. Given their importance, let me break those three crises down for you. Tax crisis number one, the Sugar and Stamp Acts. We're now in 1764. Flat broke parliament just committed to leaving that 10,000 man army in America, and that's going to cost 220,000 pounds per year.

To put that another way, one estimate puts this cost at 4% of the British national budget. Ooh, yeah, broke parliament's definitely going to pass the buck to the Americans. Well, the pound to the Americans. After all, the soldiers are protecting them, right? Well, the colonists didn't ask for the protection. They see it as unnecessary. Further, and this is so crucial to understanding the incompatible views of Parliament and the American colonials, Parliament has never taxed the Americans in order to raise revenue. Sure, they've passed acts to regulate trade in the empire, and those have favored

London. That's cool. That's fine. I mean, Americans smuggle to avoid those duties half the time anyway. But taxing to raise revenue? That's different. I'm not going to detail Parliament's and Colonial America's opposing arguments on taxation here. Go listen to episode 2 if you need a refresher. The long and short of it, though, is that Parliament claims it can tax Colonial Americans because they are British subjects, while patriots in colonial America say Parliament can't because they have no personal representatives from the American colonies in Parliament. Hence the refrain, no taxation without representation. So the 1764 Sugar Act is intended to raise revenue by hitting colonial merchants with duties. The heaviest is the new three pence a gallon tax

on foreign molasses. It does a lot of other stuff, but if you're only going to remember one thing about the Sugar Act, that's the one worth holding onto. And while it technically lowers a previous tax, this one will actually get enforced, meaning the smuggle-happy American merchants will have to pay up. So they are pissed. Next year's 1765 Stamp Act is a much bigger deal though. It doesn't just hit the merchants, it hits all Americans, and unlike the Sugar Act, it is especially egregious because it is a direct tax. It taxes a ton of stuff, from official documents to newspapers and playing cards even. And since there are no American reps in Parliament, many Americans see this as unconstitutional. This Stamp Act is what got Patrick Henry spit

in a speech in which he implies maybe someone should off King George. Yeah, this is the act that got the tobacco farming lawyer all fired up. The Stamp Act also led to the formation of the Sons of Liberty. Remember how violent those guys can get? How they burn effigies, beat up royal officials, and destroy the homes of government officials? We saw that in episode two. I guess the better question is, how could you forget? So, it's the Stamp Act that gets Henry blabbing and Boston burning. Americans also resist this first wave of post-Seven Years War taxation by boycotting British goods or flat out refusing to import them through non-importation agreements. Realizing they've poked a freaking hornet's nest, Parliament repeals the Sugar and Stamp Acts in 1766.

But Parliament also asserts it has the right to tax the colonies with the 1766 Declaratory Act. Basically, Parliament's insisting that it can tax Britons across the empire, whether those Britons vote for representatives or not. That is, representatives in Parliament. Meanwhile, Americans are even more convinced that the legislature of their home colony alone has the right to tax them in order to raise revenue, because this is the only body of legislatures for which colonial Americans actually vote. You see the distinction between their points of view, right? So this tax crisis might be over, but it doesn't resolve the difference between colonial and parliamentary interpretations of proper representation for taxation. Tax crisis number two, the Townshend

program. This bomb drops just a year later in 1767. The new chancellor of the Exchequer, Charles Townshend, aka Champagne Charlie, doesn't have the warmest feelings for the colonies, and he pushes through a new effort to tax colonial America. Now, I'm not going to detail these acts like I did in episodes 3 and 4, but the important thing is Parliament is trying once again to stick it to smuggling Americans and to otherwise raise revenue through taxes. Well, it's not like Americans have changed their minds about the terms under which they

believe they may be taxed. More crazy goes down in Boston when British officials try to seize a ship owned by the wealthy, popular, rich, and oh so sexy, John Hancock. Customs agents get beat up, non-importation gets another go, and the annual celebration of the repeal of the Stamp Act turns riotous. So the Secretary of State for the Colonies finally sends troops to occupy this town filled with what one royal official described as liberty-mad people. So I'll also quickly point out that the behavior we see after the Red Sox, Patriots, or Celtics have an amazing season or beat a rival, this is simply in the city's DNA. But back to the main point, this occupation starts in 1768. Parliament repeals most of the Townshend program on March 5th, 1770, but irony strikes hard. As we learned in episode three, that's the same day some of these still Boston occupying troops

end up shooting and killing five men in the Boston Massacre. But was it a massacre? Or just a policing act gone wrong? We'll never know exactly how things went down that night, but these soldiers' lawyers, which include future U.S. President John Adams, effectively proved their innocence in a court of law.

And with that, another tax crisis winds down. But the trust between Parliament and the colonies, especially Massachusetts Bay, is eroding fast. In fact, full-on paranoia is setting in with some Americans who are coming to believe that parliament means to reduce them to slaves. Oh, by the way, the author of the second tax crisis, that SOB Champagne Charlie, he dies right after pushing his stupid townshend program through. So basically, he creates this mess and then checks out, leaving it to others to deal with the fallout.

Rest in peace, Champagne Charlie. Tax crisis number three, the 1773 Tea Act. Following the 1770 Boston Massacre, we have three years of relative calm. But then Parliament tries to bail out the too-big-to-fail East India Company with the 1773 Tea Act. Well, Americans still insist that only a legislature in which they have elected reps, i.e. their colonial legislatures, can tax them. So it's on. Three ships carrying East India Company tea show up in Boston, and after 20 days of tension mounting between the patriots and royal officials, a small group of men disguised as Mohawks sneak onto the ships to destroy it all.

Well, some disguises are better than others. We all have that one friend who just phones it in whenever you do something together, you know? And it's the same for these patriots. I mean, come on, Joseph. That's literally just a blanket wrapped around you and some soot smeared on your face. You suck at this. I digress. As we saw in episode 4, these mohawks board the ships and dump over 9,000 pounds worth of tea into Boston Harbor. Um, that's like a fortune in tea. And Parliament really wanted the tax revenue and to get the East India Company back on its feet. This is one step too far. Now it's the Americans who have poked the hornet's nest. Okay, here's another big takeaway.

This third and last tax crisis is what tips the scales. Both sides genuinely still want reconciliation, but the Tea Party's the point of no return. People just don't realize it yet. Parliament responds to the Boston Tea Party with the coercive acts. I detailed these in episodes 4 and 5, but to sum up, Parliament punishes Massachusetts for the Tea Party. One of these acts even shuts down Boston Harbor until the East India Company is repaid in full. Parliament thinks that'll show those mass holes, and all the other colonials, that they best behave. What? Behave? Oh hell no! This just shows Americans that they are right.

Parliament is full of evil conspirators who want to make slaves of Americans. Liberty polls are raised across the colonies, and come September 1774, the First Continental Congress meets up in Philly to hash out an appropriate response. I detail this Congress in episode 5, but the most important thing, if you recall nothing else about this Congress, it's that the men who attend it create the Continental Association. This is a non-importation agreement meant to stick it to Parliament. Congress sends their complaints directly to the king, because Parliament sucks and screw them, in order to ask his majesty for redress.

But if the British government can't show that it's going to be cool, well, then a second Continental Congress will meet up next year to consider further action. Parliament does not respond the way the Americans hoped. Instead of making concessions, they send word to Massachusetts military governor Thomas G, to seize Massachusetts arms. In February 1775, an attempt to seize arms in Salem almost turns into a battle. Then, only two months later, on the night of April 18th, Gage sends an army of 700 men to seize arms at Concord. Riders head out to warn John Hancock and Samuel Adams, who are hiding in Lexington, that they might be arrested, and to warn Concord that Gage has an army marching through the night to come take their munitions.

Paul Revere gets word to John and Sam, but, as we learned in episode 5, he then gets caught, leaving it to Dr. Prescott to get word to Concord. By 4.30 a.m., Lexington's militia of a mere 60 to 70 men stand on its green, ready to intercept the 700-man army heading to Concord. Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon. But if they want a war, let it begin here, Lexington militia captain John Parker orders. The advance guard arrives. Ye villains! Ye rebels! Disperse, damn you, disperse! Calls out a British officer. Wait, what? Who just fired? I don't know. No one knows, and the Redcoats aren't waiting to find out. And with that, Gage's arms-seizing army and the Lexington militia inadvertently start the first battle of the Revolutionary War. The Redcoats continue to

Conquered, where Americans fire the shot heard round the world, as poet Ralph Waldo Emerson will later describe it, at Conquered's North Bridge. This is the moment when Americans first deliberately opened fire on redcoats. And that is your overview of the causes of the revolution. Oh, what, you want it in a single sentence? Fine, here you go. The expansion of British turf and debt caused by the Seven Years' War leads to three tax crises that demonstrated colonial Americans and Parliament have mutually exclusive, incompatible views on America's constitutional rights as British subjects, and the Boston Tea

Party is the point at which things escalated to the point of no return. You might have found that sentence to be fairly meaningless if you hadn't listened to the first five episodes. Pat yourself on the back. Also, you're welcome. Alright, let's move on to objective number two, the important things you should remember about the Revolutionary War. The month after Lexington and Concord, that is, in May 1775, the Second Continental Congress comes together. They still hope to put the genie back in the bottle and make peace with their king, but they have to respond to the civil war that's on their hands. So what do they do? They go both ways at once. In June, New Englander John Adams nominates George Washington to serve as

commander-in-chief of a Continental Army. The Virginian general heads north to Massachusetts and takes command just a few weeks after patriots stain Bunker Hill with redcoat blood. It's a battle little John Quincy and his mom, Abigail Adams, watch from a distance with tears in their eyes. Meanwhile, Congress sends their olive branch petition, reaffirming their loyalty to their sovereign. Ha! King George won't even look at it. In August, he proclaims the colonies are in a state of rebellion. It's about this point that patriots start to realize this isn't just a civil war. Maybe this is a war for independence.

And who helps them catch this vision? Thomas Paine. Tom lays it out clearly for everyone in January 1776 with his super popular well-read pamphlet, Common Sense, hashtag colonial viral. He even nudges George Washington towards independence. So as 1776 moves on, independence is starting to become the new colonial refrain. Confidence in their ability to win independence grows in March, when George's men stealthily sneak Henry Knox's cannons up on Dorchester Heights and then scare British General Howe into fleeing Boston. You know, between Lexington and Concord, Bunker Hill, and now George retaking Boston, this war isn't looking so bad. Come June, Congress even gets the guts to consider declaring independence.

As we learned in Episode 8, it's a gut-wrenching, terrifying move. John Dickinson argues passionately against it. Fiery John Adams pleads for it. The vote on July 1 fails to get a unanimous voice, as only nine states are in favor. Then comes a night of intense talking, persuading, coaxing, and cajoling, plus Delawarean Cesar Rodney's hardcore horse riding through the night to turn the tide by flipping his state's vote to an eye. On July 2nd, 1776, with 12 states in favor and New York abstaining,

Congress votes to throw down the gauntlet. Independence, baby! And side note, on July 4th, Congress approves an edited version of the mostly Thomas Jefferson Pinn Declaration of Independence, which details the sins of King George III in Parliament. Well, John Adams thinks it's a side note. We all seem to think that's a really important date. But at any rate, there's no going back now. And maybe some are starting to wish they could, because General Howe has George Washington on the ropes. In the back half of 1776, Howe beats the American commander-in-chief at Long Island, Kipps Bay, and Harlem Heights. By November, George has lost New York altogether and is fleeing

into New Jersey. Come December, his ill-trained, ill-equipped, starving, freezing, ragtag army crosses the Delaware to take refuge in Pennsylvania. It looks like the revolution is all but over. Thomas Paine puts it best. These are the times that try men's souls. George isn't the best general to ever live. Far cry from it. But you know what he really sucks at?

Quitting. He takes his almost broken army of nearly expired enlistment soldiers and sneaks back across the ice-chunk-laden Delaware River on December 25th. And when George's army hits the Germanic soldiers stationed at Trenton the next morning, they strike with a Christmas fury that's like the vengeance of Krampus and Belschnickel combined. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. Then George takes some thousand prisoners of war and goes on to score another win at Princeton just a week later.

All right. The revolution's back on. But George has a less than stellar summer ahead of him. In 1777, he and General Howe do a dance between Maryland and Pennsylvania, with the Americans losing battles along the way. Come September, General Howe sacks the unofficial capital of colonial America, Philadelphia. George has egg on his face once again. People are doubting him and thinking he should be replaced as he leads his men to a miserable winter's camp at Valley Forge.

The only silver lining for him this year, really, is the addition of some new military aides. The brilliant, Caribbean-born, wardsmithing immigrant Alexander Hamilton, the humble yet ambitious Frenchman Marquis de Lafayette, and the bold anti-slavery southerner John Lawrence. But despite George's problems, the revolution is rocking up north. This same year, Britain sends one of its most skillful lovers, sorry, generals, to invade New York State via Canada. This is the one, the only, Gentleman Johnny.

We met him in episode nine, and he means to cut New England off from the other rebellious colonies. But that's not happening. By the end of the year, Benedict Arnold and Horatio Gates route this playboy general at Saratoga, New York. This is huge. Why? Because when Horatio Gates routed this playboy general at Saratoga, New York. This is huge.

Why? Because when Horatio takes Gentleman Johnny's entire friggin' army captive, France decides to man up and get in this fight. That's right. Take note. Because of this victory at Saratoga, France agrees to a full-on military alliance with America. Only a few months later, in early 1778,

France's foreign minister and Benjamin Franklin hash out two treaties. This war for American independence just became a global war. And speaking of things getting global, the Continental Army also adds a crucial foreigner to their numbers in 1778. Baron von Steuben. This French-language swearing Prussian shows up at Valley Forge and teaches George's army how to bring it on the battlefield. Meanwhile, George is getting his swagger back. He took some mad hate during the winter of 1777 to 1778. As his disease-ridden men freeze, starve, and die at Valley Forge,

some military leaders and congressional reps start doubting his skills as commander-in-chief so much that it looked like a conspiracy to drive him out. Well, Georgia's loyal crew doesn't stand for anything smelling of that. They push back. Hard. John Caddawaller even duels the smack-talking Irish Frenchman Thomas Conway. John shoots him in the mouth. Yeah, that'll shut him up. As winter ends, George is eager to take on General Howe with his newly von Steuben-trained men. He gets the chance in June. Britain's new North American commander-in-chief, Sir Henry Clinton, has to end the Red Coat occupation of Philly.

Oh, why? Because the French have turned this war into a world war, and Sir Henry has to send 8,000 men to defend Florida and the Caribbean. As Sir Henry and his men make their way to New York, George intercepts the Philly fleeing Brits at Monmouth, New Jersey. Now this battle starts out rough. George's number two, Charles Lee, chickens out and calls a retreat. What? Well, F that. It's hearsay, but word on the street is George cusses Charles out in a highly uncharacteristic way. After doing so, George then steps up and leads the men himself. Stand fast, my boys, and receive your enemy!

The Virginian commander hollers at his men under the sweltering hundred degree heat. Sir Henry gets away, but not without suffering a thousand casualties first. This is George's last major fight before Yorktown. He'll now spend most of the remainder of the war keeping tabs on the cautious Sir Henry, sitting in New York City. But just because George is stuck in a staring contest in New York, doesn't mean the fighting lets up. In 1779, throwdowns are happening everywhere. The French engage the British near the English Channel, and they're trying to snag islands from the British in the Caribbean.

John Sullivan goes savage on the Iroquois. Spain's become an ally of France and is engaging the British in Louisiana and Florida. Oh, and amid all this global warfare, there is still some serious action in the future United States. But it's in the future United States. But it's in the South. Oh, the fighting is fierce as Britain unleashes its Southern strategy. I'll skip the details on why they do this since I laid it out clearly in episode 11, but British leadership take the main theater of war down south of the Mason-Dixon line in hopes of finding more loyalists who will support Redcoats and even

join the fight. At first, the strategy is working. Back in September 1778, the British took Savannah, Georgia, and come May 1780, Sir Henry takes a short break from New York to sack Charleston, South Carolina. He captures the entire American army commanded by Benjamin Lincoln. Sir Henry then heads back to New York, leaving his number two, Lord Cornwallis, behind to continue the southern strategy. And it goes well. That August, Lord Cornwallis crushes the hero of Saratoga, Horatio Gates, who's commanding the American forces at Camden. Good grief.

Two American armies lost in the South within a few months. Could things get worse? Yes, they can. 1780 might be the roughest year of the war for the Americans. As we learned in episode 12, the great general, Benedict Arnold, a man who's fought and won several crucial battles since 1775, betrays the cause of America. He's felt unappreciated for years, and now,

Benedict intends to hand over his command at West Point, New York, to the British for a commission in the British military and fistfuls of cash. He doesn't manage to deliver West Point, although Benedict does manage to escape right under George Washington's nose as this traitor's wife pretends to be insane. Soon thereafter, George has little choice but to execute the British officer with whom Benedict had arranged this scheme, Major John Andre. Well respected on both sides, his death breaks British and American hearts. And on the day of his execution,

John personally arranges his own blindfold and noose before taking the quick drop and a sudden stop. As dire as 1780 is, you'd never have thought 1781 would be when America lands its knockout punch. Much of this is thanks to Nathaniel Green, who's been turning things around in the South. He coaxes Lord Cornwallis into following him on a wild goose chase from South Carolina to North Carolina's and Virginia's border. All the while, Nathaniel cuts his lordship's army down to size,

like the time in March 1781 when his men blew away Highland Scots and other British troops near North Carolina's Guilford Courthouse. Enraged and convinced the Southern strategy is a lost cause, Lord Cornwallis leads his now small army to Virginia. And the fateful decision by his lordship sets the stage for the definitive major American victory we heard about in episode 13. The Battle of Yorktown. As Lord Cornwallis plays cat and mouse with Lafayette in The Old Dominion, more French are amassing to challenge his lordship's recently reinforced army.

French Admiral de Glace brings his massive fleet up from the Caribbean and repels the British Navy at Chesapeake Bay. French General Rochambeau and George trick Sir Henry into thinking they are going to attack him in New York, but instead they book it 450 miles south to Virginia, where they meet up with Lafayette and Admiral de Gasse. Lord Cornwallis is trapped, and after three weeks of trenching, Alexander Hamilton demonstrates that he is the true original American ninja warrior, just before the combined Franco-American army's artillery light up Yorktown.

Henry the Cannon King Knox must be proud. Lord Cornwallis cries uncle, and on October 19th, 1781, his lordship officially surrenders. Well, he sends another to do it because he has the sniffles. But either way, for the second time in this war, the Americans have captured an entire British army. Oh, and this time, the glory doesn't go to Horatio. It belongs to George Washington. Skirmishes continue after Yorktown. Sadly, one kills the abolitionist southerner John Lawrence, but we won't have another major battle.

The people of Britain have had enough of this war of attrition and won't support King George's desire to keep going. This war is ending, but it doesn't mean America can rest just yet. We are now on our third objective, the war's aftermath, which includes making peace and a constitution. By early 1782, peace talks are underway in Paris, and damn do these Americans know how to work it. We've got John Adams and Ben Franklin. Thankfully, these two men act like adults and put aside their dislike for one another as they negotiate. We've got New York's lanky and strong backbone John Jay, and technically we've got Henry Lawrence, even if he's there for like five minutes. Our three main negotiators play the interests of Britain, France, and Spain in just the right way

to land far better terms than they would have if this was just a straight up negotiation with the British. The details are in episode 14, but our American negotiators get British recognition of American independence. They don't pick up Canada. Nice try though, Ben. But they do get all territory east of the Mississippi River minus Florida, which is going back to Spain. There's also an initial dispute with Spain over territory roughly analogous to modern-day Mississippi and Alabama, but Spain will drop these claims soon enough. The Americans also score fishing rights in Canadian waters. The treaty is signed in 1783 and ratified in 1784. Oh, and fun

fact, hostilities end on April 19th, 1783, eight years to the day since the first shots fired at Lexington and Concord. Oh, and how do the Americans break the news to the French foreign minister that they disobeyed their own Congress and negotiated with Britain without him? They let Ben do it. And apparently, the ancient Philadelphian can seduce foreign ministers as well as he can seduce the ladies. He not only breaks the news that they've negotiated without France, he also gets France to give the United States another loan for 6 million pounds. Seriously, who is this guy? But as good as these peace terms sound, there's still turmoil in independent America. The Continental Army hasn't been paid in years.

The soldiers and officers are beyond frustrated with a payment-delinquent Congress. Many of George's officers want to threaten its members if they don't pay up. George manages to nip this in the bud. It's not with his prepared remarks, though. Oh, do you remember this? Our aging, tired commander addresses the officers, begging and pleading with them to be patient with Congress. It does no good.

But what does? His spectacles. George tries to read a letter from a sympathetic congressman to his officers, but he can't see the words. Finally, he pulls out a new pair of glasses. George then says, Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have not only grown gray, but almost blind in service to my country.

Oh, it's heartbreaking and warming at the same time. It's like the Christmas classic, It's a Wonderful Life. Officers are reduced to tears, and George has saved America from potentially succumbing to a military dictatorship. Issues remain, though. Congress continues to owe soldiers and officers back pay. It's failing to pay foreign debts and some of the states are fighting over small disputes and disrupting trade between other states. What the what? Why? Now listen up. This is really important.

Although the 13 states are united under the 13 Articles of Confederation, they are independent and sovereign republics. Let that sink in. They are not a unified country. To quote the Articles, Each state retains its sovereignty, freedom, and independence. Close quote. That's why Congress is weak and doesn't really have the power to

regulate things, let alone raise taxes so it can readily pay congressional soldiers or pay foreign debts. This has frustrated a number of big players, like George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Alexander Hamilton, as they fought or negotiated without the support they really needed. See, here's the thing. Parliament's abuse of colonial America's constitutional rights made Americans so afraid of any kind of large government, they overreacted and gave insufficient power to Congress under the Articles of Confederation. But by the mid to late 1780s, the citizens of America's 13 sovereign republics are starting to realize that maybe they threw the baby out with the bathwater.

So by 1787, guys like James Madison and Alexander Hamilton succeed in convincing a reluctant Congress and 12 of the 13 states that, maybe, just maybe, America needs to sit down and talk about strengthening the Confederation. You know, maybe they can throw the water out and still keep the baby. And that's how 55 men end up in Philly for the hot, sweaty summer of 1787. Thomas Jefferson describes these guys as, quote, an assembly of demigods,

close quote. That's well put, but personally, I dig how the convention's chair of the committee of style, the one-legged ladies' man, Governor Morris, describes the group. To quote him,

plain, honest men. It's an intense summer. What's supposed to be a little off the top turns into a shearing as amending the Articles of Confederation quickly becomes throwing them out and making something new entirely. Remember how we just talked about state sovereignty? Oh, that's driving a number of conversations as they rehash representation in Congress, divide powers, and entertain different plans of government. Slavery is another big topic. South Carolina and Georgia make it clear that no union will happen if the convention tries to shoot down the institution of slavery.

From the three-fifths compromise to the fugitive slave clause, they get their way. And I can only imagine how this might have pissed off anti-slavery figures at the convention, like Alexander Hamilton and John Dickinson. I mean, John freed all of his slaves out of a personal commitment to the ideals of the revolution. Why do we not talk more about this man? Talk about being ahead of his time. Finally, on September 17th, 1787, it's done. These men have compromised left, right, and center to render a form of government that has outlasted all others on earth, save that of the state of Massachusetts. With respect to state sovereignty, they've invented a new American federalism that doesn't hand all the marbles to this new continental government, but does give it the teeth needed to actually work. With the promise of a bill of rights,

states ratify the Constitution one by one. The new federal government comes into effect in 1789, and the Electoral College unanimously elects George Washington as president. And so, the fight with British Parliament over constitutional rights, representation, and colonial self-governance that started in 1763 yields a new American government that aligns with these ex-Britains' evolving vision of rights in 1789. But as awesome as that is, there are definitely winners and losers in this brave new world. So let's get to our final and fourth objective today by taking stock of that. First by nations, then by subgroups of Americans. So which nation takes the gold medal in the war? Oh, that's easy.

America. It's independent and the terms scored in the Peace of Paris are off the charts. It gets so much territory that it is poised to become a respectable power that might compete with Britain, France, and Spain, even though all of these empires didn't want to see that happen. Seriously, the Americans get everything they really want, only leaving the most outlandish requests on the table, like picking up Canada. Therefore, I'm awarding America the gold. Silver goes to Spain. In the final treaty, Spain regains some territory taken by Britain in their past few wars, such as East and West Florida and the Mediterranean island of Menorca. While it didn't get back the British-held enclave on the Iberian Peninsula called Gibraltar,

Spain walks away from the American Revolutionary War stronger. At this point, it controls, to varying degrees, territory from a part of the modern-day U.S.-Canadian border all the way down to the southern tip of Chile. Think about that. Yeah, Spain's definitely our silver medalist. Bronze goes to France. It got mixed up in the American Revolution as an opportunity to stick it to its colonial nemesis, Britain, and hopefully pick up some of Britain's lucrative Caribbean sugarcane-producing islands. France does regain a little territory Britain had previously taken from the French Empire in the Caribbean and in the Senegal River area of Africa. But the finances don't add up. France spends over a billion livres, pounds. Yeah, King Louis' government thought the payoff

would be greater than it turns out to be. France's debts are so significant, they contribute to France going broke and eventually starting its own revolution in 1789. Nothing to lose your head worrying about, but this wasn't Louis XVI's best decision. And not placing. Britain. It loses the 13 colonies. It loses other pieces of its empire to France and Spain. All of this costs a fortune too. Do I really need to elaborate here? There's a fifth country I'll mention, but we're not including it in the rankings.

The Netherlands. The fourth Anglo-Dutch war overlaps with the American Revolution and actually gets going because the British think the Dutch are getting too friendly with the Americans. They come to this conclusion after capturing Henry Lawrence on his way to the Netherlands. Nothing significant comes from this pittance of a war, but let the record show, American independence led Britain into war with France, Spain, and the Netherlands. How crazy is that? Okay, enough on the countries. Let's discuss different groups of Americans, because the war means very different things for different crowds. Now, I'll perfectly understand if you would the least, or nothing, and work our way up to those

who won the most. Got it? Okay then, here we go. American Indians. Seriously, the revolution does them no favors. Most tried to stay out of it at first, but ultimately, tribes from the north to the south get dragged into the fight. While a few ally with the patriots, such as the Catawba in the deep south and the Iroquois of the Oneida nation up north, most Indians believed their best bet was a British victory. As the war progressed, heartbreaking massacres happened on both sides and some American Indian tribes lost land. Overall, the war increases animosity between American Indians and white Americans while placing the former at the mercy of the latter.

George Washington, who certainly has his own history with Indians as friend and foe alike, calls for a renegotiation of treaties that had taken advantage of tribes. In one such instance, he sees to it that a large piece of land taken by Georgia gets returned to the Creek Indians in 1790. At the end of the day, Indians are the one group of Americans that gain nothing from the revolution. Finishing one step up from American Indians, we have African Americans. Numbering around 500,000 across the 13 states, they make up about 20% of the American population and very few are free before the revolution, even in the north. I think we often forget that slavery exists in all 13 states before and during

the war. A sizable minority of African Americans receive their freedom during and after the war. A sizable minority of African Americans received their freedom during and after the war. This includes some of the 5,000 African Americans who fight for the patriots, as well as thousands of others whose American masters see the hypocrisy of fighting for freedom while keeping slaves, like John Dickinson. But the British army, more to screw over the South's economy than out of idealism, frees the most. Tens of thousands of the enslaved fled to the British and many received their freedom. Eight to ten thousand become refugees in settling Canada, the West Indies, or, eventually, in the West African British colony, Sierra Leone. The revolution and its ideals loosen the grip of institutionalized slavery on the northern states. As we've seen across several episodes, some Americans,

like James Otis, attacked slavery while attacking British encroachments on liberty. Anti-slavery societies begin to form and, as we just pointed out, a minority of masters liberate their slaves. In the North, where the economy isn't dependent on slavery, abolition gets underway. By 1804, every northern state has set gradual abolition in motion, with laws liberating children born enslaved upon their reaching adulthood. This kills slavery in the North, but slower than you might think. For example, in 1860, the year before the Civil War breaks out, 18 extremely old African Americans

will still be enslaved in New Jersey. But in the South, slavery lives on, and it's about to hit a whole new phase as cotton becomes king. So all in all, with some slaves receiving liberty, others not, emancipation starting in the north, but not in the south, I'd say African Americans get a mixed outcome.

Next up, loyalists. It really sucks to be a loyalist in the newly independent United States. They make up about 20% of white colonial Americans. Some 20,000 of them even take up arms against their patriot neighbors. Many of them have to leave during or after the war. We don't know the exact number, but somewhere between 60,000 to 80,000 loyalist Americans become refugees during the war, fleeing to places like Canada or Britain. You might recall that we saw Benjamin Franklin's son, William, do just that. Some return after the war, but many don't. Not surprisingly, a good number of Loyalists are from the ranks of British office holders, or specific geographical pockets in New York State,

New Jersey, the Deep South, and so on. Oh, and by the way, with this influx of loyalists to Canada, are we really surprised that Canada will never decide to join the Union? Nearing the top, I'd say patriotic women. They do their fair share in fighting for independence, but despite Abigail Adams' calling for women's suffrage all the way back in 1776, that's not going to happen for the most part. One exception is New Jersey, where women receive the right to vote if they are the head of household and paying taxes, so basically, if they're widowed. But this limited women's suffrage will end in 1807. Again, past societies aren't our societies, and as crazy as it sounds to our 21st century ears,

very few are calling for women to have the vote, so Abigail is way ahead of her time. All the same, excluding women from voting will give future women a long uphill battle as they strive to acquire a real voice in American politics. In a close second place, patriots who are obsessed with complete and total state sovereignty. These are guys who oppose the new U.S. Constitution as anti-federalists. One such example is Patrick Henry. Mr. Give me liberty or give me death is not a fan of the new constitution, and he fights it tooth and nail during Virginia's ratifying convention. He speaks against the constitution for seven hours straight in one day. They may

enjoy independence from Britain, but with the states ceasing to be completely sovereign republics, it's not quite the independence these patriots had in mind. And finally, at the top we have the patriots. Huh, almost sounds like I'm talking about the NFL. Anyhow, I'm talking about the patriots who support the U.S. Constitution. Let's bear in mind that when this whole throwdown with the crown started back in the 1760s, Patriots had no guarantee they would come out on top. Far from it. But as things exploded, well, they won. And they will call the shots after the war.

As much as anyone can. So we're talking about George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, and others who support the U.S. Constitution. Obviously, these patriots are the real winners. The revolution is over. A nation is born. A nation without clout, without funds, without currency, without precedent, frankly, without direction. Around the world, all eyes are on the new nation and its new president, George Washington. If he fails, if it fails, the American experiment will prove the superiority of monarchy and damn the aspirations of Republicans across the globe.

No pressure. composed and performed by Greg Jackson and Diana Averill. For bibliography of all primary and secondary sources consulted in writing this episode, visit historythatdoesntsuck.com. Join me in two weeks where I'd like to tell you a story. HTDS is supported by premium membership fans. You can join by clicking the link in the episode description. My gratitude to you kind souls providing additional funding to help us keep going. And a special thanks to our members whose monthly gift puts them at producer status. Andy Thompson, Anthony Pizzulo, Art Lane, Beth

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