Hits 21 - 1990 (4): Elton John, Partners in Kryme, Bombularina

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Hits 21! It's time for a new season: Hits 21 - The 90s. At the roundtable from now on it's Rob, Andy, and Ed, with Lizzy stepping aside for the next while. This week we've got Elton John warning us about the Heeluna Hen, the Teenage Mutant Hero/Ninja Turtles, and Timmy Mallett and Andrew Lloyd Webber team up for... something. Twitter: @Hits21UK Email: [e-mail]

The End Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hits21, the 90s, where me, Rob, me, Andy and me, Ed are looking back at every single UK number one of the 1990s. If you want to get in touch with us you can find us over on Twitter, we are at Hits21UK, that is at Hits21UK and you can email us too, send it on over to Hits21Podcast at gmail.com. Thank you ever so much for joining us again, we are currently looking back at the year 1990. This week we'll be covering the period between the 17th of June and the 8th of September. Last week the poll winner, Vogue Madonna, took it from Killer just about, so well done to Madge for that one. It is time to press on with this week's episode and here are some news headlines from June Septemberish 1990.

British Chancellor John Major proposes a hard ECU, a new European currency that would circulate alongside existing national currencies. However, the idea was abandoned after swift opposition from France and Germany. And UEFA lifts the European ban on English football clubs which had been imposed after the 1985 Heischel disaster. Boris Yeltsin, the president of Russia's parliament, dramatically resigns from the Soviet Communist Party, stating that he can no longer fulfil his instructions. His resignation left the Soviet Union President Mikhail Gorbachev leading a severely split party. In football, Graham Taylor is announced as the new England manager.

In Kuwait, a British man is shot by Iraqi soldiers after attempting to leave the country. Meanwhile, Conservative MP Ian Gow is killed by an IRA bomb attack just six days after stating the British government would never surrender. And a UK high temperature of 37.1 degrees Celsius is recorded in Cheltenham as a heat wave sweeps across Britain. The films to hit the top of the UK box office during this period were as follows. After Pretty Woman finished that 9 week run at the top we have Back to the Future 3 for 2 weeks, Gremlins 2 for 2 weeks, Total Recall for 2 weeks, Die Hard 2 for 2 weeks before Memphis

Bell also begins a 2 week run at the top. In a world first, the three tenors sing live together for the first time. Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and Jose Carrera serenade a worldwide audience ahead of the World Cup final in Rome. And scenes of leading character Panthro holding nunchucks in animated series Thundercats are edited out after concerns of violence raised about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles as we got, perhaps unrelated, over here. Meanwhile the first ever episode of MasterChef airs on the BBC. Stars in their eyes debuts

on ITV with first host Leslie Crowther and the first ever episode of The Simpsons is broadcast in the UK with season one episode Call of the Simpsons being the first choice for Sky TV Andy, the UK album charts, how are they doing? You've just heard his name Luciano Pavarotti with the essential Pavarotti which was at number one for one week and then went three times platinum. Presumably inspired by that three tennis performance at the World Cup final I can only assume. Then we have Hits 21 alumni, New Kids on the Block at number one for just one week, single platinum with their effort step by step. Before the new kids on the block,

youthful things that they are, are toppled by fellow youth rival Luciano Pavarotti, who returns to number one for another three weeks with the essential Pavarotti. Then we have a five week run at the top for none other than Elton John with his latest Sleeping with the Past which went triple platinum and finally seeing out this period it's another icon of a somewhat previous era to this it's Prince with Graffiti Bridge which went number one for one week and just went gold just gold and snuck in at the top for one week there so that's your lot It's very much Pavarotti season in the album charts. You don't get those anymore do you? Yeah. Not for a tenner.

Ed, where they don't pay a tenner at all. How are things in the States? For a single week, June the 30th, we have Step by Step by New Kids on the Block that Andy just mentioned, reaching the UK number one Which isn't the album Beloved single Hangin' Tough we mentioned the other week was off showing A just how slow the rollout was for that 1988 album and B that probably already peaked really in popularity And yes, he's back, but please don't hurt him. MC Hammer.

MC Hammer with Please Hammer Don't Hurt Him is number one for the whole of July and the whole of August, the whole of September and the whole of October. In total, between its two sits there, it had a combined rain of 21 weeks at the top of the US charts. Oh my god. But we all laugh about that now. Singles. End of June into July, it's New Kids on the Block with the title track off their legacy hit album, perhaps, step by step for three weeks, narrowly missed out on a single top

spot in the UK. Then for two weeks, seeing us into August, we have She Ain't Worth It by Glenn Medeiros featuring Bobby Brown, UK number 12, and August is dominated by Mariah Carey with Vision of Love, which only reached UK number 8, although might be well known by some folk, before A Week Each of If Wishes Came True by Sweet Sensation, anyone, and Blaze of Glory by John Bon Jovi, which, well, neither of these did much trouble in the UK, to be quite honest. And that's a lot. So, we are going to move back over to the UK and check out our first song this week.

Well, technically first two songs. It's a human sign When things go wrong In the sand of her lingers, in temptation strong Into the boundary of each married man Swift as it comes calling, and negativity laughs And negativity lies Cold, cold heart Heart done by you Something's left in bed up, baby Just passing through

And it's no sacrifice, just a sin for the world It's too hard to slam it into several words But it's not sacrifice, no sacrifice, it's no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no Okay, this is Sacrifice AA Side with Healing Hands by Elton John. Released as the fourth single from his 22nd studio album titled Sleeping With The Past, Sacrifice AA Side with Healing Hands is Elton John's 56th single overall to be released in the UK and his second to reach number 1. And it's not the last time we'll be coming to Mr Dwight on this podcast. Sacrifice was originally released on its own in 1989 when it reached number 55, while Healing Hands was also released on its own in 1989 and that charted at number 45. Sacrifice AA Side with Healing Hands first entered the UK chart at

number 26, reaching number 1 during its third week on the chart. It stayed at number 1 for 5 WEEKS! Across its 5 weeks atop the chart it sold 438,000 copies, beating competition from Nessun Dorma by Luciano Pavarotti and Oops Up by Snap, Mona by Craig McLaughlin and Close To You by Maxi Priest, You Can't Touch This by MC Hammer and The Only Rhyme That Bites by MC Tunes vs 808 State, One Love by The Stone Roses and Thunderbirds Are Go by FAB and MC Parker and Turtle Power by Partners in Crime. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Sacrifice and Healing Hands dropped one place to number 2. By the time they were done on the charts they had been inside the top 100 for 15 weeks. The song is

currently officially certified three times platinum, that's sacrifice, so it is triple platinum in the UK as of 2024. I don't think that's based on pre-cantor data, I think that's been updated since. So they were both released separately, they were combined as a double A-sided single. Ed kick us off this week with Sacrifice and Healing Hands. 90s pop songs are too long aren't they? They are, this is something I've noticed in the playlist I put together of all the songs we're going to have to cover that there's like three of them or less than four minutes. I just don't think there's any reason for a chart hit to be more than five minutes at any point,

but we'll come to that. I'm glad you're kicking me off with this because I think some more positive stuff might, might pile up on top of me. Elton John unquestionably has an instinctive skill as a songwriter. I get why he's popular. He's a good singer.

He definitely knows what he's doing, his songs are catchy. I've never really dug Elton John that much, I must confess, with some exceptions. You know, when he goes pissy, or should I say when Bernie Torpin and he go pissy on like goodbye yellow brick road or Campy like I'm still standing or very very occasionally pretty groovy and kind of Austin Ato on like Benny and the Jets. I'm pretty happy. I dig those tracks like them, but his kinder Cordal Non-genre specific like piano ballad thing. I've never really been able to get my teeth into properly I mean, it's probably an inappropriate comparison, but fuck it people compare like bloody

Blondie and the Pretenders all the time for no apparent reason except they're both fronted by women So I might as well do it now plus I'll not be able to speak about Billy Joel again on this show so yeah I think I probably prefer another sort of 70s audacious piano star Billy Joel a little bit more because there's a bit more personal piss if you get to me there is a bit of a bit of rough edgedness and I guess I just like the jazziness of it a bit more so unfortunately I'm not immediately disposed to be into the grand pantheon of Elton John balladie balladie let's just go with that but you know as I say he knows what he's doing the first track here Sacrifice I knew say, he knows what he's doing. The first track here, Sacrifice, I knew this.

I remembered the chorus, he's good at that. And it's fine. It's a good, solid piece of writing. It's not really got a huge amount of momentum and there's no dynamic shift over the whole thing. It feels a bit like a cut copy exercise with maybe a bit of those choral synth oo's in the background buried deep in the mix. The arrangement is kind of bollocks but it's not so much the electric piano stuff that

bothers me. It's that kind of toy box percussion that feels like someone of the era with an older style song going, uh, what's modern? Ooh, setting number three on this 808 drum machine. I'm surprised it doesn't have loads of those ch ch ch ch ch ch hand claps on it. But anyway, it's uh, it's fine, it's memorable enough, but it's too long and it just doesn't really move with much thrill for me. And yeah, unfortunately

I'm probably even less laudatory about healing hands, which is, oh god, just rhythmically, it's just dead. It's got that thudding, four on the floor beat, and yet it's trying to seemingly go for a gospel thing. Again, he's got the structure down, the tune and the harmonic movement, it's all very graceful, it all works. But, ugh, just he doesn't seem to have much interest in creating a sort of a band world, a sound world around it. I think he would have been an amazing house songwriter, you know, someone like, like Randy Newman was in the 60s before he had a solo career, writing these terrific sort of singles that were brought to life by you know

Dusty Springfield and Memphis musicians and things like that but that's partly just my stuff but nonetheless this is this is likely this is likely the um best of what we're getting this week but that's me yeah i also think that it's the best that we're gonna getting this week. But that's me. Yeah, I also think that it's the best that we're gonna get this week, but I'm not massive on Elton either, especially not after the late 70s. You know, I kind of, I'm with him through, you know, the sort of like early to mid 70s,

but around the time of like part-time love and a single man, that's kind of when I jump off and kind of stop caring and stop paying attention. And there's a couple of, you know, ones after that, like, you know, early eighties, I'm still standing and things like that, you know, that I'm sort of like, yeah, OK, fine. But I just think this comes from a period where he's a bit past his prime, like as a writer anyway. But it does signal a little bit of a resurgence for Elton in the 90s, because we're not long off the Lion King soundtrack, and then eventually him teaming up with Blue at the start of the 2000s, and having Are You Ready for Love reissued, and all this stuff.

It's a bit of a, oh, this is sort of like the beginning of the UK beginning to regard him as a national treasure, if you know what I mean. Like it feels like you know the 80s is largely a period of kind of people not forgetting about him but just kind of like okay Pops moving on a bit and then the 90s there's just this big wallet where it's like nope Elton's still around and I imagine he was probably given the chance to do the Lion King soundtrack based off the back of Sacrifice because Can You Feel the Love Tonight is relatively tonally anyway. It feels like what Hans Zimmer and that were kind of going for with the Lion King soundtrack. I think Sacrifice is pretty. You know, its arrangement is decorated nicely enough with those like little ornamental

touches, the soft pads and the synth keys and the electronic piano instead, the mix feels spacious enough and grand without being too overbearing. Like you though Ed, I'm not too keen on the particular timbre of the percussion. But the mix feels okay, Elton still has a really nice ear for melancholic melodies, I think there's a whisker of a story in there about a relationship falling apart, it's suitably moody and achy and it's, you know, I don't find myself disliking it but I do come back to something Andy that you said in week one of us coming back to 1990, I think the real issue is that not only

are the songs too long, but they're always on a very even keel. There's not a lot of ebb and flow, there's not much up or down, and it means that my patience starts to get tested, especially as it pushes on after four and five minutes. I also have a bit of an issue with the inflections that Elton starts to develop in this point in his career, where he goes from singing with slightly pursed lips in the early seventies to just belting out strange pronunciations of songs and words and lyrics. Like even with healing hands, you know,

I appreciate the kind of AOR gospel rock thing that it kind of has going on, but I kind of giggle every time he's like warning me to reach out for the healer hen, thing that it kind of has going on but I kind of giggle every time he's like warning me to reach out for the hee-luna hen whatever the hee-luna hen is so I'm broadly positive about this as a AA side but I can still feel the kind of the schlockier end of 80s America in this somewhere while the rest of the pop world's kind of getting on with itself but I guess that was always Elton's thing, wasn't it? It was always kind of pastiche. Let's look to the past. Let's pay tribute. Let's respect. It just, yeah. I have a lot of respect for Elton John. I think that his life story is particularly

interesting and he's done very well to live to tell that tale. I enjoyed his Glastonbury set 18 months ago, he has a staggering amount of songs to fill a two hour set and okay that's fine I can't do what he can do but it's funny actually Ed that you kind of said that maybe the comparison isn't wholly invited but I also thought about Billy Joel in this moment where it was like, oh, I kind of wish he'd done this instead, but Andy, sacrifice healing hands. Yeah, it's interesting really, because I'm certainly gonna be more positive, but then I'm predisposed to be more positive really,

because I'm an Ellen fan. I wouldn't say I'm like, oh my God, super duper fan. I really enjoy listening to him, like just, like just sticking great to sits on and just letting him go for a couple of hours, to be honest. And I went to see the goodbye yellow brick road tour and he was pretty good. It's very, very good. It's custom reset. I thought it was excellent. The thing is I'm hearing a lot of the same things that you two are hearing I just don't necessarily consider them bad things because I quite like some of the things that you

sort of find a nuisance about Elton John to be honest. One example is the weird pronunciation thing like it's a little bit of a trademark if it's to be honest and normally I would find that annoying but there's something about the fact that he manages to turn the word sacrifice into a word with six syllables that's actually pretty impressive that he tends to sacrifice. Also the yeah just the way he sings it so kind of plaintively and loudly I've been thinking all day of the words to describe it and it is a bit of a honk, I'm not going to lie. But again, I quite enjoy that really. I think it gives his voice quite a lot of strength and clarity and makes it more of a temptation to sing along to which I think for something like this, a song like

this really needs because it is very long, you do need to get hooked by it, you do need to get taken away by it otherwise you'll just be very very bored. I don't adore this, I think it's certainly not one of the greatest in Elton's canon and so I think it's very surprising and very weird in retrospect that this is Elton's first solo number one. Yeah his only other number one up to this point was Don't Go Breaking My Heart, which was a duet of course. And he's been releasing singles for just over 20 years at this point.

And it's weird because I don't know if I said this about Madonna last week, but I've got this thing in my head where at this point in time Madonna isn't Madonna. Like not the icon Madonna, she's new on the scene relatively still. She's only been around for about five years. Kylie isn't Kylie at this time. She could, she could still be a flash in the pan, you know, she's only been going for like three years. Whereas Elton here is Elton, like he is like a legend. He's a national treasure as we know him now really. Like obviously he's become like, you know, 50 year career now, but he's still a huge like bit of music history that is only just now getting his first number one which is really

rare to see that and I had some fun thinking about comparisons here. It's the equivalent of if McFly got their first UK number one this week that would be bizarre. It's equivalent of the Beatles getting their first number one in 1983 and it would be the equivalent of Lady Gaga getting their first number one in 1983 and it would be the equivalent of Lady Gaga getting her first number one five years from now. It's just bizarre to think about really and it's equally bizarre because of all the songs that could get it number one. It's this which is very odd to me like it was a really big hit and people do seem to look back on it quite fondly

but I just sort of think this of all things. It was a charity song, wasn't it? It was for charity as I recall. Well that probably has something to do with it but it is still looked back on very fondly as well. I think maybe it just fits into the soundscape of the 90s, well of the early 90s at least very well because it does have that kind of, I'm going to use the word the word gloopy I'm gonna say the word languid as well in terms of production where it's just a bit like in the background I realized that sounded a little bit like a wobble board there and I didn't mean it to but yes it does have that kind of sound which is not always to my taste and so I do knock a few marks off for

that because interesting that you mentioned that criticism. I've made of the era in general Rob because I've made two Criticisms of the era so far both of which apply to this one of which is that songs don't go from 0 to 60 They stay at a constant sort of 20 in this year Vogue aside, I think almost every song we've covered has done that And the other criticism I've had of this year in general not for every song but for a lot of songs is that they're allergic to percussion and this song it has percussion but it really needs a bit more of a drive it just needs something it feels right alongside that kind of horrible Phil Collins Chris DeBeer kind of hellscape as far as I'm concerned of Balladry which

yes do you have to knock quite a few marks off for. I think it's also worth mentioning that Cold Heart remix for a few years ago as well because that has become one of those covers remixes whatever you want to call it that has sort of wholesale replaced the original even in head, like it's sort of like, whenever I hear this, I keep expecting it to go into that weird Dua Lipa chorus thing with Rocketman. Not particularly a huge fan of that, to be honest. I never really know how I feel about it,

because ironically, given the subject matter, that Rocketman bit, I think, is inserted very coldly and very strangely, and doesn't really work melodically or harmonicallyically but whatever. But again another big hit. So there's something that I'm not really seeing in this because I think this is absolutely not one of Elton's best. It's nice to see him at number one but if you look at like what he gets at, his only other solo number ones that he'll ever get are Are You Ready For Love which is rehashed from the 70s, and Candle in the Wind, 97, which obviously

is for very different reasons. He doesn't really get that many cracks at number one, so why did this get there? It must be the charity thing, I guess. But it is nice to see him here. I just don't get too excited about it. I will say Healing Hands, that definitely doesn't do the percussion thing. That, has too much percussion that is like oh yeah it's got that kind of simple minds kind of trying trying beat the snare into submission kind of thing and that goes too far the other way so it's a good counterpoint with this at double A side neither one of them quite hitting the spot but both of them pretty pleasant pretty pleasant and certainly certainly the best of this week.

But I think to call that a low bar is an understatement to be honest. So yes, it's clearly the best of this week, as I think the listeners will agree when they hear what we've got coming up. Just as a bit of a postscript, it seems that the proceeds, eventually £328,000 were raised and were given to several AIDS charities. So, big up Elton for that one. We are going to move on to our second song this week, which is... THIS! Power! To you are too valuable Power! To you are too valuable Power! To you are too valuable Power! To you you took me to town On the half-shell, they're the heroes for In this day and age, who could ask for more?

The crime wave is high, with buggings mysterious All police and detectors are furious Cause they can't find the source Of this lethally evil force You could ask for more, the crime wave is high With buggings, mysterious, all police and detectors are furious Cause they can't find the source of this legally evil force This is serious, so give me a quarter I was a witness, get me a reporter Call April O'Neil and on this case, hey, you better hurry up There's no time to waste, we need help Like quick, call the double F, pity on the city

Man, it's in trouble, We need heroes like the Lone Ranger When Tato came pronto When there was danger They didn't say we'd be there in half an hour Cause they displayed Turtle Power Now our ace reporter was hot on the trail, determined to put these crooks in jail. She spied the bad guys and saw what happened, but before she knew it, she fell in a trap and got caught.

Yeah, she was all alone, with no friends and no phone. Now this was beyond her worst dreams, cause she was cornered by some wayward teens. Okay, this is Turtle Power by Partners in Crime. Released as the second single from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack album, Turtle Power is Partners in Crime's first single to be released in the UK and their first to reach number one, however as of 2024 it is their last. Turtle Power first entered the UK chart at number four, reaching number one during its second week on the chart. It stayed at number one for... FOUR WEEKS! Across its four weeks atop the charts, it sold 248,000 copies, beating competition from Hanky Panky by Madonna, Naked in the Rain by Blue Pearl, Rockin' Over the Beat by Teknotronic, and I'm Free by Soup Dragons, Tom's Diner by DNA and Suzanne Vega, Thieves in the Temple by Prince and Tonight by New Kids on the Block,

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Poker Dot Bikini by Bombalarena and Listen to Your Heart by Rock Sekt. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Turtle Power fell two places to number three. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 10 weeks. The song is currently officially certified silver in the UK but that's based on that pre-Kantar data. I have to say if this was number one for like a week and then Tom's Diner was number one and then Listen to Your Heart by Roxette was number one that as a three would be like that's the 90s whereas this just feels like a bit of a weird flash

in the pan that everybody forgot about as of 1992, if you know what I mean. Andy, you can go first on this one. Did the partners in crime convince you about Turtle Power? Ah. I almost don't know what to say, to be honest, because I think we're in fairly uncharted territory here that It's not the worst thing we've ever covered not quite

I do think it's possibly the most juvenile thing that we've ever covered and Also, possibly the least cool thing that we've ever covered on the show from a 2024 perspective Like, you know, you get some really cool podcasts out there that are like revisiting the whole works of Pink Floyd or whatever. Here we are talking about Turtle Power. And I will say that this is a low moment for my credentials as a commentator on music. Because really, there's not much to get out of this, is there? To be honest, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

I'm going in almost completely cold here I well I guess it probably applies to you Rob I'm not sure if it does apply to you Ed that sort of fell in a bell curve with Ninja Turtles really where they sort of peaked a bit before we were into TV yeah as kids and came back again sort of long after we were into kids TV because we sort of grew up in the late 90s early noughties. Yeah I just missed them my brother was into them my older brother. Right so I didn't know if Ninja Turtles was like just just late enough for you but it's certainly not late enough for me and Rob. Didn't last long enough really I think by the end of this year it had blown over

in the UK to be quite frank. So total some knowledge of it is based on my little cousin who I've mentioned before actually shout out to a previous episode the little cousin who I used to rock to sleep with eternal flame that same little cousin he went through a Ninja Turtles phase in the mid-noughties when they released that animated film that nobody remembers not the Michael Bay one just a random animated film about Ninja Turtles which I took him to see and it was really really boring. I couldn't remember anything of it at all. And the chief abiding memory of his obsession with Ninja Turtles is when he found out he was getting a little brother or sister. Didn't

know many names in the world and he was asked what he would like to call the child and he said if it's a boy call it Raphael after one of the Ninja Tales and if it's a girl call it Nan which is just lovely. Not Donatello then or Michael Angelou? No, not Donatello, I mean Donatello that would be a hell of a great name. I'm surprised you didn't sort of compromise on Nanatello. Or Michael Angela. Donatello me he didn't pick that name you can have that one. Stole it from RuPaul. But anyway yes you'll notice I've not really spoken about the song here because

I really don't think there's much to get out of this at all if you're not already a Ninja Turtles fan. I expected to be able to sit down and say well at least I've learned something about the Ninja Turtles. This is four and a half frigging minutes. I expected to get a little bit of a treatise on who are the turtles, what do they stand for, what actually is turtle power. I am not any clearer about what turtle power is. Do these turtles have superpowers? Is their power something to do with their morals? Is it something to do with the fact that they're large as turtles go? Is it something to do with the fact that they are quadruplets and

can talk? I don't know. I'm not clear at all on what turtle power actually is. And what is there in the lyrics is not great, to be honest. One thing I didn't expect to be talking about in a Ninja Turtles song is problematic language about women which I really didn't expect to come up which is at some point what's that lyric when they say the hero saves the little flower talking about a girl that way which is disgusting horrible language really just not good at all there is not one thing good about this and it's easily my least favorite of 1990 so far No hook to it at all stays again in a solid 20 miles an hour all the way through

Isn't good as a turtle song isn't good as a song either I've got no clue how this got to number one The only thing I will say is I do remember your assignment last week Rob where you asked me to make Andy's gay corner out of Turtle Power. And I've not got much for you, to be honest. All I'm going to say is, again, four bachelors, as far as I'm aware, living alone, who have lots of female friends, but it never really goes any further with them.

So I'm just going gonna leave it there. Maybe turtle power is something to do with finding something within yourself and maybe it's an early precursor to gay future because perhaps the T-U-R-T-L-E power is a precursor to H-O-T-T-O-G-O. You can take me hot to go. Let's give turtle Power credit for that, shall we? In Andy's gay corner this week. Nothing else to say about it. This is rubbish. Rubbish. Throw it back in the ocean.

Yeah, Turtle Power, Andy, according to the lyrics, is kind of a vague, wishy-washy sentiment about standing for what you believe in and finding the strength to do what's right. But that's not, I mean... Which, whatever. those are good things. If you're a nice person, you have turtle power. Well, the other thing is, it's not really a power, is it? To be honest, I've never, like, I feel like I'm a basically decent person, and I've never sat through and thought, I have turtle power.

More turtle feelings than turtle power. No, no. I will say, the film that came out last year, the most recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film with Ice Cube voicing the villain, that was a good film. It wasn't like the best film I've ever seen in my life, but it's definitely the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles property slash TV show slash film. I have heard that. Yeah, that I've watched.

The animation looked very pretty from what I saw. Yeah, good, good, fun, fun kind of different sort of superhero movie in the current market, if you will. And this I have next to nothing on it. It's just that it's a massive, massive shame that such a groundbreaking moment, an esteemed title is wasted and given to this NAF song. This is the first fully bonafide rap single to be number one in the UK. And it is a gimmicky novelty thing that's only

here because of a brand tie-in and there wasn't even anything particularly out about TMNT at this time it was literally just like they were kind of cashing in on a wave that kind of started about a year ago and we were like okay let's buy this I mean yeah, we get teenage mutant hero turtles at some point soon ish, but anyway It's but it's not just It's just not about anything to do with the turtles. It's just Like you say vague kind of wishy washy stuff about like a bunch of folks rescuing a guy and villains won't want to mess with these guys and the flow and the delivery of MC Golden Voice leaves a lot

to be desired. The closest thing we get to a hook is that god awful that g-u-r-g-o. I'm into the general aesthetic and I suppose the rapping isn't like egregiously terrible and I appreciate that this just seems to be for kids instead of pandering to less cultured adults in the room, naming no names but the next song, I don't hate this enough to pie hole it, I just think it's a shame, I think if this wasn't so fixated on turtles and they're not about the turtles or if like another rapper came in then it wouldn't Feel so bad But I don't hate this. It's just kind of naff and adorable and there it sits kind of in a great

Night in the early 90s. Well, it's sort of it's adorable in the sense that like it's trying to be all like yeah, dude We're the turtles were rocking hard because we're the turtles and it's a bit like oh it's a bit like hanging tough but kind of with a bit more credibility a bit more credibility it's well it's a very kind of shade it's it's it's just kind of like that early 90s thing that like the like uk british people are like oh this this is, this is what rapping is. It takes us about six years to realise that no, it isn't. You know, we're about 18 months off the chronic going, like, however many times platinum in the US and over here we're still doing like, yeah, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rap, but Ed, turtle power.

First of all, Andy, you're not quite correct when you said there's four turtles that live on their own. There is an elderly rat that lives with them. Yes, yeah. Does that gay it up anymore or any less? I'm not really sure. Well, I mean, the phrase elder gay is an existing but problematic term in the gay community. So let's just say that that's an elder gay. Yeah. Oh, so it actually adds gay points to the turtles then you've got to know your history that you know that

old rat has seen times you know and now the ninja turtles can live their bachelor life in 1980 slash 90s America which has been a dark time but you know a era of sunrise potentially for the single turtle gay community I don't know where I'm going literally coming out through the manhole into onto the surface did you mean to say that showing through the manhole I meant the first bit the second bit was pure accident but I'll accept it. Yeah, right. I did, I admit say that yeah, that the first Elton John thing was likely the best thing we're going to be getting.

I will actually qualify by saying that sacrifice is the best we're gonna be getting this week, probably by a fair bit. I bloody hated healing hands. So as a standalone release with one score to it, which I'm not going to reveal, Turtle Power is technically my favourite of the week. Oh my god. Because the average for Elton John just slightly dips below it.

I think you've both summed it up very well. It's pretty half-assed. It goes on ludicrously too long I mean a kid's basically taking notes about this endless sort of litany of plot beats I don't I don't think so again. There's no real variety and I'm more than four minutes What children's song needs to be more than four minutes at any time? But nonetheless this is probably exactly what they wanted it to be I get the impression and this is you know forgive

me if I'm wrong other people making this perhaps weren't completely invested in the law and universe of the Teenage Mutant Ninja slash Hero Turtles. Now I don't, you know, I might be wrong and forgive me MC Gordon voice for that. But yeah, it's crap really, isn't it? But there's a certain naff squeaky charm to it. It's very plasticky. And I must admit that after the sort of deadening production on the Elton numbers, that when that vocoder came in, I'm like, oh, that's fun.

This might be fun, not even fun here. They don't do anything with it, but they don't destroy it either, which kind of is a little bit the opposite of something that might happen in the next track, where they start with a hook that could potentially be fun, and then destroy it. And anyway, we'll get to that. But yeah, what is turtle power, you asked? I don't think it's even this. I mean, it's not even that

it doesn't elaborate on it. Fight for your rights and your freedom to speak. Is that something they did? Freedom to speak? Did Emmaline Pankhurst have turtle power then? Based on that? Rosa Parks? Maybe! Well there isn't the thing with the teenage buter ninja turtles that like they fight to save the city but like they kind of have to do it all under cover of darkness because if the people of the city found out that they existed they would be horrified and like oh my god there are mutant ninja turtles living under the city sort of thing so like maybe it's like in the most recent film around the time that this song was released is like a big scene at the end where

it's like oh we accept the turtles now or the community thing we see your value now but yeah I don't know I wish I had nicer things to say about the first rap number one in the UK but Andy yes carry on. I was just gonna ask could I possibly have the final word on this which is that you referenced the TMNT phrase which is so often referred, used to refer to the turtles. Yeah. I would like to pronounce TM final song this week which is this Go on, go on, go on, girl I like it Go on, go on, go on, go on, girl 1, 2, 3, 4 Dizzy, dizzy, teeny weeny I love all the stuff bikini

That's the one for the first time today Dizzy, dizzy, teeny weeny I love all the stuff bikini So let the love birds Be one and two, hey She was afraid to come out of the locker She was as nervous as she could be She was afraid to come out of the locker She was afraid that somebody would see Two, three, four, tell the people what she wore Okay, this is Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Poker Dot Bikini by Bomba Lorena.

Released as the lead single from the supergroup's debut studio album titled Huggin' and a Kissin', Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Poker Dot Bikini is Bomba Lorena's first single to be released in the UK and their first to reach number 1, however as of 2024 it is their last. The single is a cover of the song first released by Brian Highland which reached number 8 in the UK in 1960. Itsy Bitsy first entered the UK chart at number 50, reaching number 1 during its fifth week on the chart. It stayed at number 1 for… 3 weeks! In its first week atop the charts, it sold 61,000 copies beating competition from Praying for Time by George Michael which climbed to number 8 and Where Are You Baby by Betty Boo

which climbed to number 9. In week 2 it sold 65,000 copies, beating competition from 4Bakarac and David Song's EP by Deacon Blue which got to number 2, Can Can You Party by Jive Bunny which climbed to number 8 and Silhouettes by Cliff Richard, which climbed to number 10. And in week 3 it sold 56,000 copies, beating competition from Groovers in the Heart by D-Lite, which climbed to number 4, The Joker by The Steve Miller Band, which climbed to number 6, What Time is Love by The KLF, which climbed to number 7, and Rhythm of the Rain by Jason DonovanF which climbed to number 7 and Rhythm of the Rain by Jason Donovan which climbed to number 9. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Itsy Bitsy fell two places to number 3.

By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 104, 13 weeks. The song is currently officially certified silver in the UK based on pre-Kantar data. Oh my god, Groove is in the heart going past at number four. Yeah, I apologise for my big outburst there. Jesus Christ. It just fell out of my mouth. Come on, that is just, that is unforgivable British public. Super Hands was right, devoted to the Nazis and bought Coldplay albums,

you can't trust people. Oh, erm, Ed, I guess you can take this one first if you'd like. Ah, sure. Do either of you remember Timmy Mallet? I know who he is, but he's before my time, yeah. The only thing that I kind of, the first time I remember hearing his name I was around 12 years old I was listening to Chris Moyles breakfast show on radio one and he kept or was that Keith Cheguin? No, that was so yeah, no, I don't

Easy to get those two mixed up. Yeah tell you. And I'm not kidding there. He had known for like giant props and stuff, wasn't he? Oh yeah, he had, what was it called? Punky Hammer, whatever it was called. It was a big yellow and pink bloody hammer. A mallet? Yeah, that would make sense. That would be the logical name. But yeah, I reminded myself of Timmy Mallick.

Because I remember him being there when I was young. I don't remember anything about him. But yeah, well, this is bollocks, isn't it? I mean, that's the thing. It's like, I don't mind the silly fun aspect when it starts up and it's just, it's a naff old novelty song with a couple of the most obvious hip hop samples put in it. Like the Run DMC. Oh yeah. And then we've got the, yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah.

Which was ripped off. It takes two by Rob Bass. I can't remember what the original track was. I'm sure, Rob, you can tell me. Yeah, do you know what? And then just as that first chorus ends, it just, it reveals that this is just gonna be nothing really, because it keeps that la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

which fucking kills any dancey or hip hop-hop momentum they've tried to build up, stone-dead, it would not have been terrible, completely awful, if they'd have gone the turtle power route, that's amazing, that's a positive comparison, and just made the verses just like rap and then gone back to the chorus without the the chintzy little post chorus bit but no it just oh it turns into this sort of midline karaoke sludge through the verses and what is it like semiotically I mean what is it trying to signal this it's all over the place is it who is it for because it because Timmy Mallet was a children's entertainer at the time that was what he was best known for.

He was known for Whackaday, which was he replaced Roland Ratt for fuck's sake. But it's got aspects of hip hop. You know, the kids kind of know the surface level stuff of that, it's fun rapping. Listen, him, he's talking, it's cool. That's what you do. But there's also, you know,

odd bits of like party time aga-do shit going on. And then there's some really weird sort of almost, well, kind of suggestive samples in there. Like, were they taking the piss with this? Trying to see how far they could go with it. Because of that part, like after the second verse, where it says we're gonna have big fun tonight and echoes out like Phil Collins in Mama if you know

yeah yeah yeah how has he managed to get two mentions this week? Christ hey he's a pop monster. Certainly one of those things, yeah. He's a plop monster. But, yeah, I mean, this is very much an 80s hangover, not least because, I mean, it is even more sort of superficially just nodding its head to trends way after they've passed than even Turtle Power's sort of circa 1987 rapping was. But you know, one thing I'll say is that I think this was for kids. So I was going to go a bit sort of more lenient on its silly, stupid distractions.

But at the same time, is it? Because there's all of this other weird signaling shit going on. It's, look, it's just a fucking mess. I don't know what else to say. It's, it's pants. Please continue. Yeah, Andy, how about you? Yes, it's pretty rubbish, isn't it?

I'm not gonna lie. I am not going to absolutely tear this apart because I don't think it really needs to be torn apart to be honest but yes it's not very good and certainly one aspect of the 90s which will hang around all the way through to the end of the decade perhaps most prominently at the end of the decade really which is novelty is really rearing its head for the first time this week it's a well i don't know but these are the first sort of real novelty tracks that we've had this week first of all turtle power which i would put in that category it's a rap

about teenage mutant ninja tales for christ's sake and then this whatever this is is certainly novelty because musically it's i agree with agree with Edd, it's Black Lace basically, which is actually not an insult. I think for that kind of little kids, butlins, holiday camp sort of thing, Black Lace are very good at what they do. It's not a bad thing to imitate, but it's certainly not something I want to be topping the pop charts. And yes, it's got all kinds of bawdy lyrics and like I think that's pointed

politely to be honest like quite a lot of signalling towards women in a way that I perhaps wouldn't want my child to be exposed to to be honest so I am led myself sorry I am led to think who is this for just like ed was but as with anything that's popular that think, who is this for? Just like Ed was. But as with anything that's popular, that you ask who is this for, I always remind myself, well, it was for someone, because this was a big hit. And it remains a little bit of a shit classic, to be honest.

This is big on TikTok. It has been previously, it appeared in- Seriously? Oh yeah, it appeared in an episode of Doctor Who this year several times. Yes it did. This is like the youth of today like this. And I think it's mainly that go on girl, go on girl, go on girl bit from the start. It's... I will say this in its favour, right, which is that, like it or not, emphasis on not, it's meme worthy,

I think. You can very easily take the mickey out of this. There's a lot of memorable little bits that are kind of so bad they're good and has some really kind of annoying earworms once again that you don't want to be in your head but do just kind of get stuck in there. The ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba is such a weird thing to have in the song but again it kind of sticks around. It's trash, absolute trash to be honest and I have no idea how this got to number one and remains popular but I'm not even sure it's my least favorite of this week to be honest because I do think as it at least has a kind of has a kind of party time thing going for it I don't think it's that bad to be honest. We're fighting over scraps here let's be honest. This is you know this is two mice

fighting over a bag of crisps to be honest but like at least well at least this has something where it's like yeah You know kind of makes you kind of giggle in a bad way at it Whereas turtle power is just like a total void of anything at all as far as I'm concerned That's just an empty four and a half minutes. Whereas this at least is you know, it's making some choices not least of which Timmy Mallet Appearing on it in the first place. I don't think that's like Something we've talked about enough to be honest. He's just like a TV presenter He's like the Ant and Dec of his day off Keith Tregwin as you mentioned Yeah, he definitely ain't a pop singer

Doing this doing this body carry-on film come black lace thing Is a kind of universe brain career choice for him to be honest. That's a big swing that he's taken there It's very odd and I don't think he had any other follow-up hits or attempts at hits to be honest It's strange thing for him to have done, but it's probably the thing he's most known for these days to be honest I do think that this is just slightly slightly better than turtle power just because it's so strange and It has had more staying power rather than turtle power just because it's so strange and it has had more staying power rather than turtle power lol but it's pretty awful and I've thought of every possible thing that's good that I can say about it and there's plenty of bad which I'm not going to go on about

too much it's self evident just from listening to the clip of the song that you'll have heard at the start of this which is that it's lecher, it's cacophonous in a bad way, and it makes you feel gross inside. You mentioned that kind of it has got that party time thing. Is it a party time record, or does it just signify party? No, I think it genuinely, well, it's, I don't know. It's sort of a chicken and egg question, really, because this was

From my memory this was on in holiday camps as a kid This was one of those songs like black lace So maybe it just became the thing that it was imitating but it is a party type song Yeah, yeah And I think you'd absolutely still get this at like kids past the parcel things and stuff like that You absolutely still get it. Yeah. Well, two things. The first thing, Ed, is that the... Whoa! Yeah! Sample, that's Think by Lynn Collins. Okay, right. And then there was a bit of a factoid that I picked up about this Bombala Arena version. You were saying there about Timmy Mallet not being the best singer. So I'm not sure how the case ended up to be honest.

But in November 2008 a schoolteacher and former singer who was called Everton Barnes, he claimed that he was the real singer on the record because Mallet had been unable to hit the notes properly. I don't know how that court case ended up. They're not difficult notes. Yeah. And even Everton Barnes FC didn't do a great job. What a name that is.

Sounding as double-tracking is a nightmare. But anyway. Great name. With this, I listened to this once this week ahead of, you know, the show, Research Purposes. I've heard it before in the past. And then I listened to it once when I watched the music video and then I listened to it again when I recorded the clip that played before, just at the start of the segment and I kind of realized while I was listening to this

so I thought a lot about how much time I have left on this planet because my mum's dad died at 60, my mum's mum died at 72, my dad's mum died at 69 and my dad's dad died at 83. He was the oldest, he died three years ago. I'm 30. So I'm either halfway or just over a third of the way through my life and when I'd done listening to the song for the third time I just didn't, I just decided not to put any notes down. I just don't, I think this is the worst thing we've ever covered on the show. I just, I find this so ugly in so many ways and so insulting in so many ways and so confusing in so many ways and not that it confuses me, more just that the song feels confused about what it's meant to be and what it wants to be and who it's supposed to be winking at

and I hate the fact that we put this at number one for three weeks, especially over something like Groovers in the Heart, but this typifies again, just like the late 80s and early 90s I think are such a dark period for shit like this getting to the top in British pop. A week, fine, if it's a passing thing we all get caught up in it. There's probably someone a little younger than me who probably feels that who's an interpop It feels that way about the resurrection of Amarillo or Bob the Builder Oh, you know that and think part of the charm of the British charts is that shit like this We just go for it

But I think after three weeks that charm is dead that charm just dies At the three- week point and when it starts getting in the way of actual era defining pop and or at least pop that is more synonymous and feels of the moment in the 90s where again this kind of feels I'm surprised that Pete Waterman had nothing to do with this because it just feels like something like, oh here's a novelty-ish thing from the 60s that's vaguely interesting to audiences of 30 years ago, let's like slap a load of like plasticine on it and stick it in front of the British public and like dangle it in front of their faces and see what they do. I find this as well to be more, like you were saying Andy, it's very lecherous, it's very

pervy, it feels like Timmy Mallet is kind of just waiting for like some 16 year old girl at the beach's towel to fall down. Like it just feels like, it's like even has a pair of binoculars in the video looking into the locker rooms as she's getting undressed, it's just so, ugh, it feels so awkward and suggestive of ugh, just like this family friendly perviness that's, argh, no, I can't, whenever it gets around two and a half minutes I am stunned that there's more more than another minute to go. Like I say I didn't write any notes down I did you know it takes time to put notes and I'd rather on paper and I'd rather just go off the top of my head with this because I feel like all of my thoughts are relatively contained in my skull and I can just kind of spit them out

but like I just I cannot believe this I really can't I think like this is another one of those occasions where I'm like was music a good idea like just like as an art form when we were coming up with these things like when we were cavemen was this the right way to go really was this the best place that we could have ended up because everything that happened before this led to this have ended up because everything that happened before this led to this and everything that happened before this that led to this was clearly a mistake. I watched the there was a 1960 TV performance done by Brian Highland and the song is this is about the the original now the song is performed in front of a live studio audience on a TV show and the TV presenter says now singing his brand new hit you know in that kind of late 50s early 60s

Compare kind of voice is business young man named Brian Highland and he's got an itsy bitsy teeny weeny Yeah, oh, you know the song it's very popular and just before you watch it check out the girl Like that and then the girl is like like a six-year-old In a back and they've put the bikini on backwards I'm just like I'm utterly freaked out by it and this version is somehow more disgusting Just because at least with the original one It's like all whoever's done the stage direction on that has completely set up Brian Highland there, but like the

actual song on its own is just like, you know, it's like teenagers having a bit of fun. It's that tropical kind of surf era sort of, okay, it's annoying and not my idea of fun, but this it just like, it's like a 50 year old hanging around at a party full of college and sixth form kids giggling and ugh, no, I just, I find this revolting, so, so revolting and it isn't just the content of the lyrics alone. I hate all of the, I hate the way this sounds. I hate the throwing in all of these random samples, the kind of creepy, slightly, the stick around will tell you more. And it is so annoying that the thing that is stuck in my head most this week, out of all three songs we've listened to, is this... Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum on with the it was an it it feels like it goes in an odd direction which okay there you go have a

point for that i guess but i oh my god i just yeah no this threw me for a loop this week i hate this i can't wait to move on from this i actually didn't want to say anything about it. I just, I found it, it's one of the few songs we've done where I'm just like, my, any time I spend on this before the show will be utterly pointless. I just, I, yeah, I just, like I say, I'd rather spend it doing something else, like, ugh, just... Yeah, I'll be honest, I don't think I actually finished listening to the song on any of my attempts. I kind of got the measure and I realized that, you know, two and a half minutes is more than sufficient to get a taste of this. But anyway...

of this. But anyway. We will call time on this episode of Hits21 but before we do I just want to check Andy, sacrifice and healing hands, turtle power and itsy bitsy, pie hole, vault, where's everything going? Well I won't be making a sacrifice to the Hits21 gods by putting that song in the pie hole, no that's safe where it is. You might say that I've applied healing hands to that song. As for turtle power, it certainly didn't show enough turtle power to power it into the vault. In fact, it showed so little turtle power that it's fallen down into the manhole. Sorry turtles. And as for itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini that she wore for the first time today. If this song was a person it would be standing teetering on the edge of the pie hole and I would be saying go on girl go on go on go on girl. I'm pushing it into the pie hole.

Okay, Ed, Elton John, Partners in Crime, Bombal Arena. Elton John, you're fine where you are. You're on a dynamic, even keel. You're just there. You're firmly horizontal. That's about it. Turtle power. I'm not going to force them back into the sewer, but they sure as shit aren't going to use my lift. Itsy bitsy, please mallet, don't bonk them. Oh god. Oh god, it's going in the bin.

It's total crap. So for me, sacrificing healing hands, that's going nowhere. Turtle power is just above the pie hole. It's not going in, but Itsy Witsy, Bitsy, Mincy, Teeny, whatever, that is the furthest into the pie hole out of any song that I've ever talked about on this podcast. When we come back, we will be continuing our journey through 1990, and we will see you for it.

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