Hits 21 - 1990 (7): The Race for Christmas Number 1

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

It's CLIFFmas! Twitter: @Hits21UK Email: [e-mail]

The End Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hitch 21, the 90s, where me, Rob, me, Andy and me, Ed, are looking back at every single UK number one of the 1990s. If you want to get in touch with us you can find us over on Twitter, we are at Hit21UK, that is at Hit21UK and you can email us too, just send it on over to hit21podcast at gmail.com. Thank you so much for joining us again and thank you for waiting while we took a little break. to Christmas episode of the 90s. These were always a bit of an event for us in the 2000s and now we're going back to Christmases that two of us didn't even experience. Do you remember this Christmas at all Ed? Do you know my first Christmas that I remember is actually probably 1991. My memory begins with Sonic the Hedgehog and probably ends with it actually. Anyway.

Last week's poll winner, it was only a choice of two, Righteous Brothers and Vanilla Ice and it was Ice Ice Baby by one vote for our listeners. So Vanilla Ice reigns supreme to the extreme last week. Everyone is apparently a big fan of vanilla ice not me I do all obviously value our listeners and don't want them to ever leave us Obviously, obviously, obviously You know, I don't have to agree with everything our listeners say and let's just say I'm feeling cooler towards them this week That's not a porn on ice ice baby You're gonna freeze them out

Yeah, it is time to press on with this week's episode and because it's Christmas we know that not a lot happens but here are some short news headlines anyway. More than 100,000 homes in the UK are left without power on Christmas Day after storms batter the country and tornadoes even appear in the Midlands. Support for the Conservatives has been boosted after the appointment of John Major as party leader but Labour remain ahead in the polls. And madness hits Britain's high streets as major shortages of the Teenage Mutant hero turtles, figurines, seized price gouging and stampeds at shops around the country.

And you'll be hearing more about that shortly. So Andy, the UK album charts we've kind of covered all of those for 1990 so we're going to jump to your television schedules we're going to move away from music we're going to look at tv so if we were if me and you were alive, Christmas 1990, what would we have been watching? What would we have seen? Well, I'm glad you asked that question. Yeah, it's very interesting doing a TV Christmas that none of us remember, two of us weren't even here for, because all the ones we've done so far have been able to be like,

yeah, I sort of remember that, because I remembered all of them from 2000 onwards to some extent. But this, yeah, it's time to let your TV warm up on Christmas Eve, whack on the C-fax, close the windows whenever there's any inclement weather, otherwise you'll lose your signal. Because yes, we're back in Christmas 1990. And it is a very different landscape, let me tell you. I just don't think you'd get this these days.

BBC One leads its Christmas night with an hour-long generation game, hosted of course by Bruce Forsyth. Good game, good game, didn't they do well? Along with an hour-long edition of Birds of a Feather and an hour-long edition of Bread, the TV show, not just footage of Bread. Okay. Yeah, so a lot's been made of how Christmas 2008 is being resurrected for Christmas 2024, that it's like the same schedule, but I think it's safe to say that this one probably won't be repeated. It's generation game, bread and birds of a feather. Can't see that, if I'm honest.

But yeah. And we also have a special documentary on the BBC showcasing the festive period from the perspectives of servicemen and women in the Gulf War, and they did a live satellite link up to their families, very sweet, and on Boxing Day the main highlight is a 100 minute Bergerac. Blimey, no ads or nothing. Yeah. Also as a sign of the times, should just say, there are extensive daytime family specials from both Jimmy Savile and Rolf Harris. Suffice it to say those names will be appearing a lot in the next decade but I won't be mentioning them again. Shame on them. ITV on the other hand gives us an hour long Dez O'Connor special on Christmas night before a two hour Ruth Rendell mysteries on Christmas night. Can you imagine?

Other highlights on Boxing Day, highlights such as they are, include Ken Dodd at the London Palladium, an hour of Torval and Dean dancing with Russian ice skating all-stars, and another full hour of ventriloquist Ron Lucas entertaining a grateful nation. A ventriloquist. Come on now. Come on. This was 1990, not 1910. Anyway, over on the soaps, and this is not an era I know about for any of the soaps if I'm honest, so I won't be taking follow-up questions. Here are the synopses.

In EastEnders, Diane has a secret to hide and Ian makes it his mission to drive wixie from Albert Square. In Corrie, while Alf reaches for his stomach pills, Curly finds a soulmate and Gail has news for the family. I do know this one, the news is that she's in labour and she gives birth to David Platt on Boxing Day. That's how long ago this is. And on Emmerdale, well that's not making it into the Christmas schedules at all because it's not that big yet. Emmerdale takes the week off. The big Christmas films going head to head on Christmas day afternoon always like to see which of these we think is the better one.

I think it's pretty straightforward this year. On BBC One we have the premiere of E.T. the extrater, and opposite that on ITV we've got Moonraker. Which of these do you think is this year's winner? Definitely ET! Yeah, I don't think there's any doubt about that one to be honest. Her Majesty the Queen in her Christmas speech paid tribute to all of those fighting in the Gulf War, and we don't yet have an alternative Christmas message that starts in 1993 so perhaps we could start finish with some suggestions of who could have done one perhaps recently

departed Prime Minister M. Thatch could have done one or the cast of Doctor Who out of work for the first Christmas since the show was cancelled last year or perhaps Stock Aitken and Waterman could have done a reproduced cover of I don't know Blue Christmas maybe we're better off without all of them. Suffice it to say I don't think we missed much by not being alive for Christmas TV 1990 if you love a two-hour Ruth Rendell this was your bag but if not maybe not so yeah that's your lot for this Christmas. Alright then, so Ed, over the other side of the Atlantic, what's the situation there?

The top ten singles of the whole year we have at number ten, Blaze of Glory by New Jersey's own John Bon Jovi, at number nine we've got Cradle of Love by Billie Idol, number eight we have En Vogue with Hold On. Number seven, nicely bookending the year, it's Another Day in Paradise with Phil Collins. Number six, Mariah Carey's Vision of Love. And number five, and you will be pleased to know,

it's Madonna with Vogue. Excellent. At number four, it's Belle Biv De Vaux with Poison. It's who? Not that poison or that other song called Poison but this poison. Number three, Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor. Number two, It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. Again, another sort of in the 90s, really? Single? Number one, it's Wilson pissing Phillips with Hold On. What?! Ha ha ha! You can't touch this, wasn't even in the top ten. Apparently not.

Number 55. What?! How is that possible? I know! It's bonkers. Wow. Okay. Thanks for that. I don't know what different calculations they're using here, but that's... Anyway, right into the Christmas season. That's what we're all here for. So, what were the charts looking like on the week starting? 22nd, ending 28th of December, 1990.

Albums? Oh, shock horror, guess what's at number one? It's fucking vanilla ice again But you already knew that so yeah, they're top ten singles just to get you I was gonna say heat it up, but cool down for our very own at number ten we've got sensitivity by Ralph Tresvant what? by Ralph Tresvant what?

Number nine it's a cover of the temptations the way you do the things you do by dead dead swine you be 40 Number eight Unleash your stout chests its freedom by George Michael What chests? It's Freedom by George Michael. At number seven, I'm your baby tonight. It's human stylophone Whitney Houston. At number six, irony on two counts here, it's High Enough by Damn Yankees. Pass. At number five, oh yeah, Tom's Diner by DNA featuring Suzanne Vega. At number four, it's only Wilson pissing Phillips with, oh let's say Song X.

At number three, it's From a Distance by Bette Midler. At number two, Madonna justifies her love for six straight minutes, front and back. Number two you say. Hmm, wonder where it peaked in the UK. And at number one, it's Because I Love You, The Postman Song by, oh let's say, Mr. X. Stevie B. Sorry, that's the trivia question, Nancy, you were looking for. Well, thank you very much. America, again, not focusing much on the Christmassy side of things. It is very much a Britain thing, isn't it?

Yeah. Where we give a shit about Christmas number one. So thank you both very much for those. And normally at this point, we would be looking back at the toys and games, the biggest selling toys and games of Christmas in a particular year and when I was looking about how to go about it this time because the information isn't that readily available for Ed to go and just find on the internet, what I did come across was a very handy video clip on the BBC website. I just stumbled across it and it seems that they have all of this stuff archived from December 1990, so I'm going to play this video clip from the BBC which

counts down the top 10 toys of Christmas 1990. Enjoy! Well despite the recession there's one thing which is always in strong demand at this time of year and that of course is toys. But as Morrow and Williams has been finding out, the toy that is on the top of many a child's Christmas list is in surprisingly short supply. At number 10 in the toys top 10 it's those Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. In at number 9 is Pictionary. Steaming into number 8, the diecast range of Thomas

the Tank Engine. The Big Red Fun Bus drives into number 7, and at number 6 it's Sylvania and Families. The perennial favourite, Cindy, is at number 5, and her rival Barbie at number 4. At number 3 is the computer game Nintendo, with Scale Electric zooming in to number two. And on the top of everyone's list, it's the Lego Duplo Zoo. So, are you surprised that the turtles aren't number one? Well, it's only because people can't get enough of them. For the past few weeks there have been early morning queues at this North London superstore

just waiting for the daily delivery of those turtles. The turtle hype has now reached such an extent that there's a virtual stampede to buy the creatures when they arrive in the shops, with parents anxious not to let their children down at Christmas. I want the rats. Yes, winter. I've tried several stores and they were, you know, out of stock within half an hour being brought into the stores, you know, so I decided I would kill this morning.

They've come all the way from Lourdes, especially to get the turtles. Are you pleased that you've got them this morning? Especially pleased. His friends have got one or two, but that's it. It's a money spinning business, particularly during the run-up to Christmas. In a South End evening paper, there's an advert for turtles at more than double shop prices. Because of the scarcity, parents are willing to pay. Others are just glad they've got them. So that was a trip back to the BBC in 1990.

Before we look at the Christmas number one for 1990 and of course, the Christmas top 10, we're going to bring back our favourite annual competition Born to Runner Up so Andy take it away for be true 1990. Thank you very much we desperately need a jingle for this yeah thank you very much Robert. For those who may have just joined us for the 1990s who've jumped on recently Born to Runner Up is quite simple we look at all the songs that peaked at number two. So it's not every single song that reached number two because some of them went to number one afterwards,

but every song that peaked at number two in 1990, of which there were 21 this year. And we've secretly, I say secretly, not a secret to me, but we've secretly ranked them all and I've collated the scores. And Robinette genuinely don't know how this has worked out but we will determine the best number two single of 1990 and then at the end of the decade do a champion of champions of the best number two single of the

whole 1990s. Just a reminder of last time that our 2009 winner was Don't Upset the Rhythm by The Noisettes and we nominated one more time by Daft Punk as our champion of champions for the noughties. So let's get started on our 1990s competition for this. So I think it's fair to say it's a mixed bag. This year we had some absolute garbage which I'll start with which was ranked at the bottom not quite unanimously one person went about for it a little bit more than the other two but the anniversary waltz by status quo which is five and a half minutes of them revisiting their I don't want to call them hits because that would imply any quality at all. So yes, status quo right at the bottom. But there's a lot of good stuff this year.

So I'm going to go straight into our top 10. Our 10th best number two single of 1990 was Opposites Attract by Paula Rabbit. Oh, yeah, I thought that might be it. That's a low actually. What I'll say is that there'll be quite a few gasps and surprises, I think, because some strange placements because of how little we agreed. We all picked different favourite

songs by the way. In 9th place it's Nessun Dorma covered by Avarotti which peaked at number 2. Nice to get some kind of Italia 90 representation in there. Yeah, definitely yeah. Oh I get it. I see. I was wondering, you know, what is it with all the um, with all the opera in 1990? It's Italia. Of course it is in eighth place. It's love shack by the b52s No, okay Yeah, that's a little lower than expected actually. So yeah, okay. Yeah, I think so too

Yeah in seventh place it is blue velvet not black velvet, which is already somewhere in this list as well blue velvet by Bobby Vinton Appears in seventh place In sixth place you had that it peaked at number two in the US and it also peaked at number two in the UK It's justify my love by Madonna at number six Fair placing. Yeah,, fair placing I think. So our top 5, and as I say we all picked different ones. In 5th place it is Dirty Cash by The Adventures of Stevie V. Yes!

So glad that made it to the top 5. In 4th place it is Ed's number 1 pick of the year and my second place pick of the year. It's Better the Devil You Know by Kylie Minogue. In fourth place. Failed to make Rob's top ten. That one. Each of their own. In third place, this was no one's favourite of the year but we all ranked it quite high.

In third place it's Black Velvet by Alana Miles yeah okay yeah fair enough quite a respectable finish to top two mine and Rob's favorites both still to come and in second place it is my favorite of the year it's Groovers in the Heart by D-Lite in second place and I will say it was really close but just edging ahead and taking the 1990 Be True trophy it's Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vagam. Yay! I'm happy with that, it's a great track. Do you know, when we were looking through the list and when we were ranking things the

reason I put Tom's Diner at the top is because it was the one that I was most actually sad about, not getting to number one. With Groovers in the Heart, I was kind of outraged on its behalf, but Tom's Diner was a bit like, oh, what? It sounds the most futuristic out of all these singles as well. It seems to predict the way forward. It sounds very modern. And to be fair, although I say we didn't agree on the winner, Rob put that first and me and Ed both put that in our top three. So pretty consensus choice on the winner there. Yeah. Another just point of interest as well, I said that Ed and I both put status quo at the bottom.

Rob's worst one of the year was Hanky Panky by Madonna. It's pretty bad. And just having a look at some of the things that beat these songs to number one. So Hanky Panky was beaten to number one by Turtle Power. Erm, and I want to pose a question to you Rob. Do you think that might be your least favourite top two of all time? Hanky Panky and Turtle Power.

Well, I didn't, erm, I didn't pie-hole Turtle Power. But it's not a great one and two, is it? What if you mashed them up and had Turtle Hanky? Tom's Diner was also beaten to number one by Turtle Power. And do you want to know what else? Two different songs beat Tom's Diner to number one. The other one was Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Pokedoc Bikini. I know.

Oh yeah. But yes, well done Suzanne Vega and Bikini. I know. Oh yeah. But yes, well done Suzanne Vega and DNA as well. Should have mentioned them as well. Yeah, Tom Steiner wins 1990. Amazing stuff, alright then. So, it is time for the Christmas Day Top 10. And then when we finish the Christmas Day Top 10 for 1990, we're going to go straight in to the Christmas number one for this year. So here goes.

Starting us off at number 10, it might be unbelievable, but it's still down three places for EMF. At number nine, you'd better pray he won't hurt you. MC Hammer is at one place this week. It's a non mover at number eight as Snap give us their Christmas hit Mary Had a Little Boy. At seven she's more than justified her place in the top ten but she's still down four places it's Madonna with Justify My Love. At six it's the Farm Song which is about both football and Christmas. It's all together now down one place this week. Into the Christmas 1990 top 5 and finding its place on wedding playlists forever, we

have Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta's Grease Megamix and that climbs a massive 9 places into the top 5. At 4 it's up 2 places from last week and has jumped a huge 23 places in 2 weeks. It is Sadness Part 1 by Enigma. And into the Christmas 1990 top 3, up 1 place, inspired by the success of another hit of theirs this year, You've Lost That Loving Feeling is back in the charts for the first time and back in the top three for the first time in 25 years for the righteous brothers and at number two the runner-up for Christmas number one in 1990 it's down one place from last week

It's vanilla ice with ice ice, baby, which means that the Christmas day number one of 1990 is this. Now we have been through the harvest Winter has truly begun Now we have walked in the chill of the night We are waiting for, waiting for, for the Sager's Day Many have come from the valleys Many have come from the valleys, many have come from the hills, and many have started their journey home, to be with someone, with someone, on the Savior's Day. Open your eyes on Savior's Day Don't look back or turn away Life can be yours if you only stay He's calling you, calling you on the Savior's day Joining the old and the young ones, joining the black and the white

And the wine, meeting the need of the hungriest He Will we ever remember Him on the Savior's Day? Open your eyes on Savior's Day Don't look back or turn away Life can be yours if you only stay He is calling you, calling you On the Savior's day Hey, yeah, yeah Here's to the God of the friends, Raise your glasses! Here's to the God of the friends, Bring to the King! Here's to the hope and the future He brings, We will sing to Him, sing to Him, On the Savior's Day Open your eyes on Savior's Day Don't look back or turn away Life can be yours if you only stay

He is calling you, calling you On the Savior's Day, on the Savior's Day On the Savior's Day, He is calling you on the Savior's day On the Savior's day On the Savior's day On the Savior's day Calling, calling, calling you. Calling, calling, calling you. Raise all your black souls and drink to the King. Calling, calling, calling you. Raise all your black souls and drink to the King. Calling, calling, calling you.

Raise all your black souls and drink to the King. Calling, calling, calling you. Raise all your black souls and drink to the King. Calling, calling, calling you. So that was Saviors Day by Cliff Richard. Released as the third single from his 9th live album titled From A Distance The Event. Saviour's Day is Cliff Richard's 120th single overall to be released in the UK and his 13th to reach number 1 and remarkably it is not the last time we'll be coming to Mr Harry Webb on this podcast. Saviour's Day first entered the UK charts at number 6, reaching number 1 during its fourth week. It stayed at number 1 for… one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it became the Christmas number 1 for 1990 and sold 102,000 copies beating competition

from the songs you just heard about. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Saviors Day fell two places to number three. By the time it was done on the charts, it had been inside the top 100 for seven weeks. The song is currently officially certified silver in the UK, but that's based on that pre-Kantar data. So Andy, how do we feel about Saviors Day? Not good, not good is the answer to that question. I'm not a Cliff fan at the best of times and Cliffmas is always something that I yearn to avoid. I think Mistletoe and Wine is probably my least favourite Christmas song ever. For some of the same reasons that I will come to with this one, as for the Millennium Prayer,

I think that can barely be described as a song at all. It's more of a, Cliff are you quite well moment, to be honest. And as for this, some words I would use that pop into my head with this one are, insipid is the main one that's been there in my head. Cloying, patronizing, irrelevant, but mainly tedious are the ones that have crept into my mind with this one.

I just don't like this Cliff Richard Christmas thing, mainly because the songs you write, I just find them very tacky and very dull and really just not what I go to the Christmas number one race for and what I go to Christmas songs for. They just don't seem to have the joy and the excitement and the fun that people look for with Christmas songs. But to kind of go further with that, I think the reason why so many of the most popular Christmas songs are the ones that are joyous and fun,

or at least full of emotion, at least, it's because we can't really ignore the fact that, particularly when it was at its height and Christmas number ones were a big thing, they were largely consumed by kids and families. You know, it's definitely a gather around the TV or the radio to listen to this year's Christmas songs and then sing along with them at family parties and stuff. You know, it's stuff like Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade, Wizard, you know, it's clearly geared towards kids because that is the market for Christmas music really. And Cliff Richard, I'm sure, is no stranger to that, which is why it doesn't sit right with me

that he always goes so heavy on the religious side of Christmas. Just to caveat this with, I know that Christmas is a religious holiday and I don't have anything against, like, obviously pushing the Christian side of it to people. I do object to the idea of pushing that so hard in a kind of family, kids kind of aspect because I think this is why I hate mistletoe and wine so much is that that sort of children singing Christian rhymes thing. I just, it makes me a little bit queasy to be honest that that's his idea of the perfect Christmas that is being pushed on us is like getting kids to worship Christ and like it's again it's not anything about Christianity at

all I just think it's a bit uncomfortable to be pushing religion in that way through the pop charts just my personal view of course I just think Chloe Ingham I'm gonna come back to again it's like come on you can have a bit of fun at Christmas this is very po-faced very po-faced it's like come on you can have a bit of fun at Christmas this is very po-faced it's very sincere and worthy about the fact that it's going into Christianity rather than the kind of Christmas tree Christmas carol side of Christmas I just think I think it sort of sees itself as a little bit superior to the rest of the landscape maybe I'm reading too much into that but that's because I get that

impression from Cliff a lot of the time and I think I'm justified in feeling that way given that later in the decade he will literally just be the Messiah in a song basically and sing the Our Father to people you know I do think that there is a genuine point to be made here of like he's already a big star He's not to work his way up. He's not really having to justify these hits He's a big star who has you know A generation of fans behind him who have kids now and he's using that platform to be I can say very po-faced very sincere very lectury

Which I think is not particularly appropriate for number one to be honest. But that's just my take. I'm a very secular person. I very much about the you know Christmas crackers and Doctor Who side of Christmas rather than anything like that. So I get that it's just completely personal taste but to me this is like one of the last things on earth I would ever listen to at Christmas. As a song I think it's really really dull. I don't know there's anything particularly catchy about it at all. It's overly long. It's not particularly memorably performed and doesn't really go anywhere. This is absolute garbage, I think and for me easily my least favorite of this year.

Okay then, Ed, how we feeling on Cliff? Who, if you notice in the music video, is standing on a cliff. That is true. Cliff-ception. From a distance, it's an event, I guess. But yeah, I would describe this as cheesy and thin. Oh no, sorry, I described Cliff as cheesy and thin. This song is just... it's fine, I don't mind it really. It's... I find it fairly catchy. I think it's well-constructed. I don't think he has an unpleasant voice. For some voice that is so devoid of sort of passion and texture, he's oddly recognizable in

whatever context he's in, I find. I don't think it's an unpleasant song. Do you know what? I mean, this is still firmly in the 80s, in this sort of flat, flatulent, synthy, sort of stock, aching, wartum and maximalism. It's all very tacky and in-your-face and, you know, overly cluttered and clattering. But that's not necessarily a problem, I was thinking, because imagine if this did step into the 90s and you actually got something a bit more stripped back and atmospheric and tasteful like Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compares to You. It would be a horribly po-faced snore.

I mean, imagine this rendered in that way. It would be unforgivably nothing, really. But it's so in-your-face and kind of charity card pretty and guileless that with his complete earnestness it kind of becomes acceptable cheese for me. I don't mind it's sort of fakery and it's dated chintzy sound world although I could do without the diddly-doos at the end they don't need to be there. Just completely Mars and otherwise exceptional song. But no, absolutely, Andy, yeah, it's far too bloody long.

It's ridiculous. I can't never remember what is in that last minute. I presume it's just repetitions of, on a savior's day, bl-bl-bl-bl-bl. And I'm like, I don't don't know don't need that but that's about it the thing is though with Cliff Richard the more I've heard him I feel like I'm mildly getting indoctrinated somehow because he can pull off this kind of bland cultist cheese and keep a sort of sense of friendliness about it.

I don't know if that makes it better or worse but you know and yet at the same time he has this weirdly like seemingly witless like pseudo sexual messianic posturing. Like what is this relationship here? Now we're not gonna go any further down that way because it's all kink andjecture anyway. But yeah, there's some references to older tracks here. I don't know if they're deliberate or not. There's the Young Ones is referenced,

joining the Young Ones. And there's also a reference to his coolly received role in the 1962 Kenneth Anger short, The Need of the Hungry. But anyway, yeah, I'll save you some time. It's pretty, pretty mid. Yeah, that's it really. It's naff and tacky and overly earnest

in its sort of God-squadding, but it's fine. Thank you. Yeah, I think you've kind of articulated that side of things a bit better than I did, because it's really hard for me to gather my feelings on the God-bothering side of it really, because it's not the Christian stuff itself that's the problem, because obviously there's hymns and stuff and it is a religious holiday.

It's not that that bothers me at all. It's him. It's him, the fact that he's using his platform and really very earnestly presenting himself as some sort of messenger of Christ. I just find it really uncomfortable and really gross. And I don't know what it is about it because he's far from the only person that does it. I just think no one else does it as nakedly, obviously, as he does. I just feel like I'd really not want to get talking to him if I was stood in a room with him.

Like, I just really would want to go and talk to someone else. But yeah. Yeah, Cliff. Whenever we've come across Cliff on this podcast in the past, I feel like his name's always been greeted with a little bit of a giggle. Which I understand because, you know, he is so strongly associated with the past. That, you know, like whenever he popped up in that 2000s chart run that we did a couple of times it was like that meme the what the fuck is a polar bear doing in Arlington Texas meme that you see

going around I recently got taken to see uh the mid-60s Thunderbirds film Thunderbirds Are Go and he's in that in a dream sequence as a puppet so that's how long he's been around. The Thunderbirds Are Go film I would highly highly recommend it for a just a bizarre movie viewing experience. The first 20 minutes is very slow moving but it proceeds entirely as you would expect. The middle third of the film is a whole dream sequence thing with Cliff Richard involved, and then the final third of the film, oh my god, but the fact that he's in it, it's like him popping up in the 2000s always felt like a weird anachronism that has simultaneously

been present in every era of pop that there has ever been. He somehow keeps coming back with more and more hits and still has another number one to go after this and gets awfully close to number one a couple of times, like I said in the 2000s where he did Thank You For A Lifetime and all these other things that got to number three and it was like oh we were that close to discussing Cliff in the 2000s. And I think even on something like this he sounds like a much older soul than the rest of his contemporaries, and that his attempts to even begin to sound up to date were kind of left behind in the 70s.

Like I think the last song he probably did that sounded up to date was like We Don't Talk Anymore or Devil Woman or something. But with this, I think he's proudly going for like a big 80s AOR slash Christian, you know, Hillsong kind of sound, little bits of Celtic folk and even Celtic New Age ambience in the sort of off in the distance of the mix, completely and proudly out of step with the rest of the charts, which I guess is why so many people caught onto it because it is a big Christmas song in a year where, you know, we've just run down the top 10, not many attempts at getting Christmas number one this year. And he just sweeps the competition away because, you know,

a hundred thousand sales, years and years of goodwill have gone into this, obviously supported by the success of Mistletoe and Wine a couple of years before. So it makes sense as a number one. It's kind of, it stands apart in ways that are both great and also shit, sort of, but it's Cliff. Don't question it, just by the song sort of thing. Just upfront, this is obviously and sort of proudly NAF. It is exactly what it is and it's very proud of itself, even po-faced, you know? I appreciate that we have a Christian song topping the charts at Christmas as a sort

of reminder, I suppose, of the day's origins. Like you Andy, I'm normally a bit queasy when religion creeps into pop like this, but I think it's more than fair enough around Christmas and Cliff's faith is important to him, so fair play about that I guess, and singing about it and being happy about it. I do think he's a bit too proud and like you say, a bit cultish and a bit like I am a messenger kind of thing. I mean maybe they stuck him up on the cliff to like a like a Moses thing with the tablets. I have no idea. I can't get away from the dull trudging rhythm section though that's been cut and pasted from mistletoe and wine and just kind

of sped up a little bit and I really can't stand mistletoe and wine either. I feel like it's these are both designed as a kind of old langsine kind of thing, which he of course interpolates directly for the Millennium Prayer. It just feels like everybody's supposed to be swaying with their arms around each other's shoulders, you know like at the end of that Simpsons episode with the good morning star shine thing, even gets all those ordinary people in the video with him to stand on the cliff and none of them know what they're supposed to be doing, they just know that they're supposed to look at the camera and sort of lol from side to side.

I don't think this sounds particularly warm, but it does at least sound communal and I appreciate the overlapping vocals towards the end, the 🎵Gullan raise a pickaxe, and sing to the king🎵 I'm even a fan of the little shitty midi pipe that plays the lead kind of 🎵Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do But I think I am so forgiving of this. And I think the reason is because it reminds me very acutely of being eight or nine years old in the back of my parents' car, listening to the greatest Christmas album in the world ever, which I'm sure we all owned, that was its name. And I associate this song so much with the anticipation

of Christmas that I had as a child. We are waiting for the Saviour's Day, you know, because I think eight or nine is like the perfect age to experience Christmas. I don't know if you two agree. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Because I think that you're old enough to understand it and appreciate it, but not yet old enough to be cynical about it or have your faith in Father Christmas shattered, where you're not old enough to buy the stuff that you want, you have to wait. And so everything's geared towards that day in your head and around you for a month, if

not longer. And as soon as the kids finish school, there's immediately all sorts of Santa's workshops on or little snow days or Christmas themed parties at various places and Saviors Day really reminds me of like I said sitting in the back of my parents car being driven around places in the Peak District and sort of like on the Lancashire Yorkshire border where there would be about 40 children and 80 parents all assembled on a small roadside farm and one guy in a Santa suit in a barn while some deer lay down in some hay next to him. Like those places on the very edge of the Pennines where you look like you've walked

into the set of like Call the Midwife or something but everything's kind of nicely decorated in snow and 120 people have just descended on this little market town with the population of about five because they've found a farm and they want to rent it out for a Christmas day. And this was also around the time when we got our first DVD player as a family and I was able to watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again after breaking the VHS months before. And the Christmas segments of the Harry Potter films are still to this day my favourite segments of each of the films. Like even in the sort of weaker films in the entries in the saga, sorry, even the weaker entries in the saga, the Christmas bits are

the, for me they're the most evocative, the warmest, the best bits of those films. You know I even think right up to the seventh film, because obviously there's no Christmas bit in the last film, but in the seventh film where they go to Godric's Hollow and Harry and Hermione are in that graveyard listening to that choir in the church. And they were so good at that. You know, I love the Neville's Waltz Christmas bit

of Goblet of Fire. That kind of warm, kind of Chris Columbus kind of Christmassy, you know, I think, you know, Chris Columbus. That kind of warm, kind of Chris Columbus, kind of Christmassy, you know, I think, you know, Chris Columbus was always kind of quite, for his many, many faults as a filmmaker, I think that what he was quite good at is at least bringing a Christmassy warmth, knitted sweaters, and you know, even like gremlins,

you know, making sure that's just a little bit Christmassy. And I think that this also, like, save his day away from like all the nostalgia and stuff I think it has the same appeal as something like Indulce Jubilo the Jubilo the the Mike Oldfield thing and I think there's enough baked in romance and just enough nostalgia for me to actually quite you know be quite fond of this against all the odds, not vaulting it because I can't. Just can't. I can't vault Cliff after everything that we've said on this show. I feel like it would be hypocritical. But, you know, when I listen to it and that kind of when it starts up I'm like, yeah, fine. You know, I don't mind that it's too long.

It is too long, but I don't particularly mind. So that's it. We've done the last number one of the year. Well, well done everyone. There weren't many, but you know, worth a round of applause anyway. There's even less in 1991. So Andy, can we separate the bottom five and the top ten? Are there enough number ones? There are. So we had 18 this year.

And 18 of them. So, might as well go through them all, but I'll do the bottom five first. Interestingly enough, there is, the bottom five are quite closely bunched, but then clear, a clear 1.5 nearly points between the fifth worst and the sixth worst so we've accidentally given ourselves a really clear bottom five with this. So these are our Hall of Shame for 1990. In surprisingly only fifth worst place of the, it's Turtle Power by Partner in Crime, with an average score of 3.8 and pie-holed by me.

I say surprisingly, I forget that I hated that much more than you two did. Our fourth worst rated song of the year, and certainly the first time, probably the only time that this name is going to show up in our bottom five of the year. It's Kylie Minogue with Tears on My Pillow. Oh, sorry Kylie. With an average score of 3.7 and it was Pie Hold by Rob and Ed but not by me. Also from that first episode, in third place, it's Do They Know It's Christmas by Band-Aids 2, Pie Hold by All Three of Us and with an average score of 3.5. It's Christmas!

Ouch! Also from that first episode, with an average score of 3, pieholed by all three of us, it's Hangin' Tough by New Kids on the Block. Anyone remember that song now? Can anyone sing it? Oh, whoa! I couldn't have done that. I'll take your word for it. So that, I don't know if anyone predicted it at the time I feel like we did but that entire first episode ended up in our bottom five of the year with an average score of two pie holes by all three of us our worst number one of 1990 is itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow pol.Bikini by Timmy Mallet with Bombilla Arena.

Of course. It's fucking terrible. Yeah, very very bad. Yeah, so let's move on to happier times shall we? Should we look at our top 10 of the year? I will say it's pretty low bar. You'll hear some surprisingly low scores as we go through this top 10. Actually I will briefly just cover the other three that are stuck in the middle. So the ones that were in No Man's Land

were Ice Ice Baby, Saviors Day and Sacrifice slash Healing Hands they were 11 to 13. That's a fair three star bracket there. I would have put Saviors Day right in the very bottom but anyway. The Joker by Steve Miliband is in at number 10 with an average score of 6 and not vaulted or pie-holed by anyone. The next few are not pie-holed or vaulted by anyone actually. In 9th place, it's Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee with an average score of 6.8. Good for her, good for her. I like that one. In joint 7th and 8th place, given a score of 7 by all three of us for both songs, so there's nothing I could do to divide them, it's Do Be Good To Me by Beats International.

And A Little Time by The Beautiful South in joint 7th and 8th place. Well done to those two. In 6th place, and this is the first one that got vaulted by anyone, it got vaulted by Rob, not by me and Ed, with an average score of 7.3. In 6th place, it's Unchained Melody by The Righteous Colors. Oh, okay. So into our top 5, and these are all pretty good. It's a good top five, don't worry.

Voltage Just by Me, not by anyone else, with an average score of 7.5. In fifth place it's World in Motion by England's New Order. Well, it got to the line. I think that deserves more than 7.5 if I'm honest. I really do think that's quite good, but in fourth place, again, only vaulted by me, with an average score of 7.7, it's Killer by Adamski featuring Seal. Oh yeah. Yeah. Again, I thought that deserved my berth, but yeah. Our top three, I think that deserves way better, but yeah.

Our top three, I think we'd all agree, are all pretty good. So we've still yet to have anything that was vaulted by all three of us, and that's because nothing this year was vaulted by all three of us. So in third place, with an average score of 7.8 and vaulted by myself and Rob, it's Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor. Well done Sinead. Shame she's not in number two because now she has to change the title of the song to Nothing Compares 3U. I'm enjoying that joke.

In second place, with an average score of 8 and vaulted by Rob and Ed but not by me, it's The Power by Snap. Oh yeah. I'm dead pleased with the high placing there. I didn't think it was going to get that high. So that means that number one, yeah. We do need to carry on the tradition of passing the bat the button even though we're passing it through time and space At this point we welcome to the virtual stage Lady Gaga from 2009 who won with bad romance to pass on the tiara the crown the

Cape whatever you imagine we have to pass it on and it's pretty Thematically wonderful that it's Lady Gaga passing the torch because this year's winner with an average score of 8.8, so a clear winner, and vaulted by myself and Rob, this year's winner is... Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue. Yeah. By Madonna. Congratulations, Madge, you've won.

Hmm. Yeah Yeah well done. Yeah I think mine and Andy's scores probably took it away from the rest of the competition there. I think we were particularly exultory in our praise. Did I vault anything else other than Snap. The only thing you've altered and I should say that my score of 10 for Madonna was the only 10 that anything got this year. From anyone. Not many songs this year though, just full stop. 18 is the fewest we've had on the podcast I think. Yeah, I do think it is fair to say it was fairly shallow ground this year that you know

Madonna really stormed it, It wasn't close for her Nearly a point ahead of everything else, but still nonetheless our winner so well done Madonna I think next year might be a different story, so we'll see how we get on next year Yeah, all right then so yeah next year is when your next hearers 1991 We've already reached the end of 1990 and there's even fewer songs in 1991 Yeah, next year is when you'll next hear us. 1991. We've already reached the end of 1990 and there's even fewer songs in 1991. We're flying through.

We're two years into the decade already. So thank you very much for listening through our 1990 shows. Thank you very much for waiting a couple of weeks while we came back as well. So yeah, Ed and Andy, time to say goodbye to 1990. So Andy, see you later. Bye bye.

And Ed, see you later. See you in 91. See you later. And yeah, we will see you in 1991. Thanks for listening. We'll see you soon. Bye bye. Bye bye.

Bye. Kiss me and my mind is free But then I think I should let you know That I got friends So baby listen to me A shooting star will shoot you And Mars will go to war The man in the moon will jump on you If you don't love me no more I saw you in someone else's car